Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

We survived the entrance exam!

eat the rich

Does anyone know how common garlic allergies are?

now u see me

OMG poor Ochie 😭

AcidTrip

rip no more precious garlic bread

Twilight ✨sparkle✨

at least you can still have fromage

eat the rich

I'm not allergic you guys!

well to pollen yeah

but not garlic

AcidTrip

phew what a relief

though i guess eating my folks’ famous garlic bread out of the question

Twilight ✨sparkle✨

vraiment! though I much prefer French cuisine

now u see me

ofc u do Aoyama XD

AcidTrip

mood

tho tbh garlic bread tastes leagues better than baguettes

Twilight ✨sparkle✨

FAKE NEWS 

AcidTrip

NO, YOUR BAGUETTES ARE A LIE

Feel_The_Noize

that doesn't even make sense

AcidTrip

u don't make sense jirou

Feel_The_Noize

what are you five?

But seriously the two of you are biased about food anyways

AcidTrip

true true 😞

Twilight ✨sparkle✨

whatever do you mean? I'm not biased in the slightest

now u see me

Aoyama you troll 😂

Twilight ✨sparkle✨

it's my sworn duty, mon ami

Kero-sene

But seriously Ochako. Why ask such a random question about garlic?

eat the rich

uh well no reason

Kero-sene

Uh-huh

now u see me

girl, we don’t even a lie detector quirk to know that you’re keeping sth from us

Twilight ✨sparkle✨

Spill the tea!!

eat the rich

What tea?

AcidTrip

Hey! Don’t play dumb

I might not be the brightest color in the crayon box…

eat the rich

But?

AcidTrip

there is not ‘but’ lol

pls tell us tho

the anticipation is killing me

btw y’all are invited to my funeral if I die bc of that

now u see me

lmao MINA

I’m dead 💀

AcidTrip

i guess that makes 2 of us then

in that case maybe we should make a big event out of a double funeral

maybe even hire a dj

now u see me

lowkey i LOVE that

can we pls do that if we die tragic deaths as pro heroes?

Feel_The_Noize

No one of us are dying tragic deaths as pro heroes

AcidTrip

Aww, Jirou you party pooper. Ruining all of our elaborate funeral plans

now u see me

still luv u anyways Jirou

Feel_The_Noize

Thanks, though why I engage with any of you still baffles me

AcidTrip

But back on topic

Spill the tea about the garlic @eat the rich

eat the rich

Well, I’m not the one with the garlic allergy

A close friend I met online has one

Feel_the_Noize

Fair enough

now u see me

i dunno online friends seem kinda… sus

eat the rich

Toru, we ARE online friends

now u see me

tbf we did meet in person before the group chat

Feel_The_Noize

I don’t get what the fuss is.

I met my gf online on a music server.

now u see me

Hold up? YOU HAVE A GF?

AcidTrip

add her to the chat!

Twilight ✨sparkle✨

s’il te-plait add her to the chat

now u see me

ADD HER TO THE CHAT

Feel_The_Noize

*sighs* you all are such gremlins

But fine i’ll add her

Just please don't scare Momo way, okay?

AcidTrip

awww u must love her a lot

Feel_The_Noise

yes so don’t traumatize her

AcidTrip

dw we got u boo

Kero-sene

I’ll see whether I can reign them in Jirou

Feel_The_Noize

Tsu you are my last string of sanity

Kero-sene

Happy to help

Feel_The_Noize

though in the grand scheme of things I guess I can’t keep Momo from the group chat’s shenanigans forever

Since she also applied to UA’s hero course

AcidTrip

omg OMG omg

Was she at the entrance exam?

Did we see her?

Was she HOT?

Feel_The_Noize

You couldn’t have seen her. Because she’s a recommendation student.

AcidTrip

You got yourself a smart gf?! You’re an inspiration to bi disasters everywhere! 

Girl, u are so blessed

Feel_The_Noise

yeah, i guess i am

now u see me

true love we stan

eat the rich

So happy for you Jirou :) 

Feel_The_Noize

Thanks, Ochako

You know what, i’m letting you join Tsu as one of my last strings of sanity

eat the rich

tysm for that great honor

now u see me

No fair! Why don’t I get that honor?

Feel_The_Noize

You know why *rolls eyes*

AcidTrip

speaking of online pals thank you for starting this lovely group chat Ochako

eat the rich

Oh it’s no trouble at all. I just thought it’d be a good idea for us examinees to get to know each other better in case we end up in the same class at UA. Though I totally bombed the exam so I doubt I’m going to pass

Feel_The_Noize

None of that self-deprecating talk. I’m sure you did great. 

Besides the most important part is that we survived the entrance exam

Twilight ✨sparkle✨

Oui! That zero pointer made me feel so faint

AcidTrip

Speaking of the zero pointer, why isn’t that cute boy who saved your ass in the group chat?

eat the rich

Ah, he ran off pretty quickly so I didn’t manage to get his contact details

now u see me

No worries! I’m sure he passed the exam with flying colors! You’re def gonna see him again

AcidTrip

And who knows maybe sparks will even fly between you *smirk*

eat the rich

haha, I’m not interested in finding a boyfriend

like at all

EVER

Kero-sene

That's alright too

Feel_The_Noize

Yes, and if boyfriends aren’t your thing, I’m certain that someone as sweet as you will find an amazing gf someday if that’s what you want

AcidTrip

Well, looks like your odds are good since literally the only one of us who's dating is giving you an endorsement 

Himi <3

Ochie

I’m sorry

Himi <3

abt what, babe?

Omg are you breaking up with me? 😭😭😭

Pls no

Ochie I love you

There’s no girl out there as cute as you

I’ll NEVER recover from this heartache

Ochie

wait no Himi

I love you so much

I’m not breaking up with you

Himi <3

Do you love me more than money?

Ochie

Himi, you aren’t going to like the answer to that question

Himi <3

i’m just messing with u Ochie (◠‿◕)

besides we all know that knives are first place in my heart

Ochie

indeed XD

but as long as your love for knives doesn’t mean I get stabbed we’re all good

Himi <3

And as long as you don’t abandon me for a rich old man I understand

Heck, I’d understand even if you did leave me for one

Ochie

Do I look like someone who’d get a sugar daddy?

Himi <3

No clue, cutie

But I respect the hustle

Ochie

omg Himi that sent me

I love you ❤️

Himi <3

Love u too ❤️❤️❤️

Ochie

are you trying to one up me with the hearts?

Himi <3 

Mayhaps? (◕ᴗ◕✿)

Ochie

well two can play at that game

❤️❤️❤️❤️

Himi <3

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Ochie

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Himi <3

But seriously Ochie well why did you say you’re sorry?

Ochie

well I mentioned garlic allergies in a group chat

then one thing led to another and I told my friends that you’re my friend I met online and not my gf

I promise I’m not ashamed of you, but I know what it looks like. So I’m sorry.

Himi <3

Well, I forgive you, babe. I mean we all hear the same fear-mongering mumbo-jumbo from adults about dating people we met online. So I’m not mad at you at all, Ochie 

Ochie

Thanks Himi you’re the best

I’m pretty sure if they found out I had a gf I met online there’d be no end to mother-henning

They’d probably warn me that you could be villain or serial killer or sth

Himi <3

yup haha

That would definitely be weird

Anyways, I know you’re not ashamed of me

Btw i gotta go to bed

Big day tomorrow

Definitely doesn’t involve stabbing or weird serial killer stuff.

Gn, cutie! 😘

Ochie

Goodnight, Himi! 💗

Chapter Text

Himi <3

Himi <3

Ochie, how do u clean out blood?

Ochie

Himi, are you okay???

Himi <3

Oh yeah I'm all good

Just that time of the month where human nature kicks in and yk things get a little bloody

Mostly just upset abt how the bloodstains messed up my new skirt. And my usual stain remover isn't doing the trick

Ochie

poor Himi

I hope cramps aren't too bad

Himi <3

uh I guess my hand is a little stiff but that's about it

Ochie

so your abdomen is fine 😳

Wow I'm jealous

Himi <3

lmao Ochie

Anyways I think the factory changed the formula for the stain remover or sth 😭😭

Should I go to the CEO and threaten to stab them so the stain remover gets changed back?

Ochie

Himi OMG XD

I'm literally rolling on the floor w laughter

Himi <3

awww I wish I was there

I'm sure your laugh is totes adorbs

Ochie

you flatterer!

But seriously you don't even need the stain remover to get the blood out

Just use h202 or coke

Himi <3

hmm I think I can snag some coke from Dabi if he hasn't snorted it all yet

Ochie

uh Himi I meant the soda

Himi <3

ohh 

That's way more convenient (◡ ω ◡)

Thanks so much you are a savior, my goddess, my love, light of my life 

Ochie

well we got to stick together when the rich won't let us have nice things like stain remover ;)

Himi <3

MOOD 

I'm gonna buy you all the nice things someday

Ochie

No I'm gonna buy YOU all the nice things

I mean there's a reason I picked a career path where I'll be raking in that dough

Himi <3

YES ✨

get yourself that cash Ochie

U deserve it

Ochie

Also um Himi I realized that I was being silly the other day

I mean Jirou met her gf online too

So maybe my friends won't be weird abt it

Himi <3

Yayyyy :D :D I'm sure they'll be chill

In the meantime I'm gonna go and gush abt u to Dabi until his ears fall off

Well what he has left of his ears that is

Ochie

What happened to Dabi?

Himi <3

No clue 🤷 Everything abt him is a mystery and an enigma 

Still his crappy apartment beats being homeless

Ochie

Stay safe! ❤️

Himi <3

Anything 4 u babe 💗🔪

EndeavorSux

TheCrayonSong🖍️

Dabi DABI DABIIIII

I have sth urgent to tell you

EndeavorSux

What brat? Need help hiding a body again or sth?

TheCrayonSong🖍️

Nope 

I'm a big girl dabs (◍•ᴗ•◍) I can hide bodies all by myself now

EndeavorSux

Thank God you know that I don't usually cremate for free

TheCrayonSong🖍️

Ofc ofc, tysm Dabs 💗💗💗🔪

EndeavorSux

Whatever, don't make a big deal out of it brat

Now what's this important crap you 'need' 2 tell me about

TheCrayonSong🖍️

My pretty and beautiful and gorgeous GIRLFRIEND

EndeavorSux

kill me now. Not AGAIN

Also you know that all those words mean the same thing, right?

TheCrayonSong🖍️

Tehehehe 😏

Also yes AGAIN 

EndeavorSux

Gonna mute my phone now

TheCrayonSong🖍️

don't u dare i won't hesitate to stab u

plus I listen to ur endeavor rants ALL THE TIME

EndeavorSux

fine u get 5 minutes 

TheCrayonSong🖍️

Okay okay ty dabs u r the best

Anyways so u know how it's that time of the month where I go on a murder spree? Well Ochie was super sweet and gave me advice for how to get the blood out of my clothes 

Ochie was even worried abt my cramps

She thought I got them in my abdomen. But no worries I'm a pro. I don't get punched there when I stab victims. I am a PROFESSIONAL after all

Though I guess my hand is a little sore from gripping the knife too hard

EndeavorSux

umm I think you and your gf had a misunderstanding

Does she know you're a criminal? Is she okay with that?

TheCrayonSong🖍️

I'd think she'd be. I mean she's a drug dealer 

EndeavorSux 

What??? Why?

TheCrayonSong🖍️

Well she knows what coke stands for

 (◠‿・)—☆

EndeavorSux

Everyone knows that, brat

How on earth did you jump to the conclusion that your gf is a drug dealer?

TheCrayonSong🖍️

babe's gotta make that money

can't think of a more efficient way tbh

plus she said she picked a career path that'd make her rich

EndeavorSux

jfc toga

for all you know this girl could be some sort of hero brat

TheCrayonSong🖍️

No way Dabi! You're just being paranoid for no reason!

Or maybe you're just JEALOUS that I have a cute gf and you don't (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*.✧

EndeavorSux

ewww I'm too gay for that bs

TheCrayonSong🖍️

true u only have eyes for your chicken man 🍗

but hey at least I have someone to go to pride w thanks 2 u

EndeavorSux

Your 5 minutes are up

TheCrayonSong🖍️

Meanie :(((

We survived the entrance exam!

[Feel_The_Noize added Yaomomo to We survived the entrance exam!]

[Feel_The_Noize changed Yaomomo's name to 3D_Printer]

3D_Printer

Why the name change darling?

Feel_The_Noize 

Because no one has a normal nickname here

gotta think out of the box or something like that

3D_Printer 

I suppose. I ought to love your edge lord ways dear

AcidTrip

huh, why is Jirou silent?

Kero-sene

She's probably busy blushing

now u see me

AWW aren't you two adorable

Twilight ✨ sparkle ✨

Ah Momo. I have une question

3D_Printer 

Of course! I'd be more than happy to answer. Or at least I will try to. I'm hardly an expert in most areas

Feel_The_Noize

Momo what did we say about talking down on yourself

3D_Printer 

Not to do it

Feel_The_Noize 

Exactly because you are a smart and capable girl with an encyclopedia's worth of information in your brain

3D_Printer 

If you say so dear

Feel_The_Noize

Honey, I know so

now u see me

OMG this is like a romcom irl

I'm dying I'm deceased I love this

Farewell k dramas I'm gonna spend the rest of my days watching jirou and momo being cute instead 😊

eat the rich

A bit off topic, but I have something important I haven't told you yet

Twilight ✨sparkle✨

👀

now u see me 

Tell us!!

eat the rich

um you know that friend with the garlic allergy. I was actually talking about my online girlfriend

AcidTrip 

ahhhhh what if she's catfish or a serial killer?

eat the rich

Mina why are you trolling now? You didn't pull this with Jirou yesterday 

AcidTrip 

sry bestie I'm in a dramatic mood rn :3

and well is she gonna be a hero student? The fact that momo is makes her a more reassuring Internet stranger

eat the rich

come on just bc she's not an aspiring hero doesn't make her a danger

If anything you and Aoyama are probably bigger menaces to society

Twilight ✨sparkle✨

Excusez-moi?!

AcidTrip 

lies lies lies

Tell us what your gf does tho 🌚

eat the rich

Well aren't you nosy?

now u see me

tbf i think it'd be reassuring to know that she isn't up to anything crazy

Kero-sene 

I agree

Feel_The_Noize

Yeah we just want to make sure that you're safe

3D_Printer 

Not that it in any way means we perceive your girlfriend as a bad person. I'm certain she is lovely.

now u see me 

What does she do?

eat the rich

well she cosplays

AcidTrip

Sweet! As what?

eat the rich

usually magical girls

I saw her cosplay insta and commented

Then she saw some of my sailor moon art, we started chatting over dms and everything snowballed from there

now u see me

low-key totally cute. u have to send us photos ✨

AcidTrip

oh hold up hold up

Where does she go to school?

eat the rich

Himiko doesn't go to school

AcidTrip

OMFG JFC that means Ochie's girlfriend is old as fuck

Twilight ✨sparkle✨

NON NON NON

Kero-sene 

She could be a pedophile

now u see me 

ahhhhhhhhhh

3D_Printer 

I implore you to be careful Ochako

Feel_The_Noize 

Hard agree

eat the rich

no my girlfriend isn't a pedo she's like 17

Himiko just stopped going to school when she was homeless

now u see me

OCHAKO you almost gave me a heart attack

Twilight ✨sparkle✨

Mon dieu! So glad that she is not an adult

Kero-sene 

still the fact that she's been homeless is concerning in other ways

eat the rich

well she's doing better now and is rooming with a friend

Honestly he seems a bit sketchy but he's only into men so Himi probably doesn't need to worry abt you know…

3D_Printer 

That is only marginally reassuring 

Kero-sene

But reassuring nonetheless 

eat the rich 

Yeah I'm glad she's doing better now

Himi understands what it means to be at the bottom of the financial barrel

I think she gets me better than anyone else does

AcidTrip

ngl that's wholesome as hell

now u see me

FOR REAL

eat the rich

ooh Himi sent me a new photo from her knife collection

AcidTrip

KNIFE COLLECTION?!! 😱

Twilight ✨sparkle✨

Knives in French!!

now u see me

why didn't u say the French word for knives?

Twilight ✨sparkle✨

j'ai oublié 😭😭😭

now u see me

validd

But omg does Ochie's gf use the knives to MURDER people?!

Kero-sene

Perhaps her knife addiction led her to her life on the streets 

Feel_The_Noize

Tsu please don't encourage them

Kero-sene

Just suggesting a possible theory. Not that it has any merit with how little there is to go off of

AcidTrip

Maybe the knives give her a sense of safety after life on the streets 

Twilight ✨sparkle✨

That does seem like how the mindset of the poor might work

3D_Printer 

I believe that you might be onto something 

Feel_The_Noize

Oh no Momo

3D_Printer

Did I agree with sth insensitive again?

Feel_The_Noize

I'll explain it to you later. Sorry Ochako 

eat the rich

Ah I'm not offended so no worries

But everyone, don't psychoanalyze my gf

I'm sure that collecting knives is a perfectly normal harmless hobby

OMAKE: Toga's Name 

EndeavorSux

Hey brat what's up with the name?

TheCrayonSong🖍️

u don't know THE CRAYON SONG???

EndeavorSux

My old man was a stickler abt internet access not my fault that i don't know every shitty song

TheCrayonSong🖍️

poor dabi so so deprived 😭😭😭

but here's the link 😘

https://youtu.be/9VH8lvZ-Z1g

EndeavorSux

Like hell I'm clicking that

It's probably a rickroll

TheCrayonSong🖍️

i would NEVER

EndeavorSux

don't believe you

TheCrayonSong🖍️

you're the worst 😡

anyways I like the crayon song bc the black crayon says "blood blood blood blood blood" during the red crayon's verse

EndeavorSux

why am I even surprised 

Chapter Text

EndeavorSux 

TheCrayonSong🖍️

DABBBIIIIII

where r u???

EndeavorSux 

Damnit kid, it's 3 am go to sleep

TheCrayonSong🖍️

But Himiko is so so sad so so alone has thoughts on her mind and cannot sleep

EndeavorSux

Jesus, why the fuck are you talking in 3rd person

TheCrayonSong🖍️

Himiko will talk in 1st person again if u tell her where u r (◔‿◔)

EndeavorSux

God you're worse than my siblings

TheCrayonSong🖍️

Siblings you say? 🙃

EndeavorSux

I didn't say shit

Anyways I'm with birdbrain 

TheCrayonSong🖍️

Trying to use one uncomfy thing to distract me from another I see what you did there ;)

So how many siblings do you have? Are they all angry little emos

EndeavorSux

Dafuq!? Wdym little

TheCrayonSong🖍️

Sry dabs u just ain't tall

EndeavorSux

Like you're one talk

TheCrayonSong🖍️

I AM one to talk cause I'm still growing 

(人*´∀｀)｡*ﾟ+

EndeavorSux

What's this actually about, kid?

You never text for no reason 

TheCrayonSong🖍️

You got me there :3

EndeavorSux

Just spit out already so I can go back to sleep brat

TheCrayonSong🖍️

So you know how I want to become the people I love? Do you think I could convince my gf to send me some of her blood?

EndeavorSux

Want the honest answer or the kind answer?

TheCrayonSong🖍️

Honest pls

EndeavorSux

Good. I didn't have a kind answer anyhow

Your gf seems normal. You know a plain lower middle class gal with loving parents. The kind who studies hard. The kind who likes going to school and hanging out with her friends after class

Her life is the exact opposite of yours. So I don't know whether you can or should pull her into your weirdness

Heaven knows how many people I've cut off bc of this sorta life

TheCrayonSong🖍️

Fuck you Dabi! You're wrong! Ochako's not like my parents. She's fine with my knife collection. She isn't going to force me to be normal

EndeavorSux

Do you really want to test that theory?

TheCrayonSong🖍️

Well you managed to win over chicken man even though he knows abt all YOUR weirdness. How did you do that?

EndeavorSux

Dunno. Go ask him yourself

TheCrayonSong🖍️

(◕ᴗ◕✿)

EndeavorSux

Fuck. I never even gave you his number. I use burner phones. How do you have it

TheCrayonSong🖍️

I have my ways (◠‿◕)

EndeavorSux

Jfc and here I thought I was actually going to get some sleep for once

But with you texting birdbrain I'm probably going to be kept up ALL DAMN NIGHT

some like it hot 🔥🍗

TheCrayonSong🖍️

hellooo chicken man

some like it hot 🔥🍗

Who is this?

TheCrayonSong🖍️

Only Dabi's bestest friend in the whole wide world (｡•̀ᴗ-)✧

some like it hot 🔥🍗

i take it you're the roommate

TheCrayonSong🖍️

guilty as charged 

And I bet my fav knife dabs has even more friends

some like it hot 🔥🍗

Hot stuff having more friends? Really?

TheCrayonSong🖍️

Yup! Feel free to ask him all abt it

some like it hot 🔥🍗

I'd try but he stormed off and decided to sleep in the bathtub instead

I lost my human teddy bear :(

TheCrayonSong🖍️

Wahhh literally no one calls him that

some like it hot 🔥🍗

You don't get it he's very warm and nice to hug as soon as you get over the staples

TheCrayonSong🖍️

Ooh that actually makes sense

I'm gonna hug him when he gets back!!

some like it hot 🔥🍗

He's going to burn you alive

TheCrayonSong🖍️

Nah he loves me too much 

Speaking of love why do you love Dabi? ◉‿◉

some like it hot 🔥🍗

Hang on!! That's a big accusation. He's just my occasional hookup that's it!

TheCrayonSong🖍️

Sure 😏

But moving on, why do you put up with all his weirdness?

some like it hot 🔥🍗

because he's hot

TheCrayonSong🖍️

Ew no he looks like a raccoon

some like it hot 🔥🍗

Hey! Don't yuck my yums

TheCrayonSong🖍️

Yeah yeah sure thing birdman

Guess you'll be no help at all with answers to my question

some like it hot 🔥🍗

Excuse me! I'm a hero helping is literally MY JOB. hit me w your question and I'll see what I can do 

TheCrayonSong🖍️

Okie dokie (✿^‿^)

some like it hot 🔥🍗

You sure are a little gremlin

TheCrayonSong🖍️

And PROUD of it

Anywho, do u know how to convince my gf to send me her blood?

some like it hot 🔥🍗

I mean like some celebrities drink their partner's blood or keep it in a vial

Heck I'm a celebrity. Maybe hot stuff would go for it if I asked. Prolly fits his ✨aesthetic✨ or whatnot

You know what fletching I say just go for it

Tell her that you wanna be all trendy like the famous people and who knows she could be into it

TheCrayonSong🖍️

That's genius!! 

OMG TYSM chicken man 

I'm low-key tempted to trade you for Dabi as my bff

some like it hot 🔥🍗

aww thank you complete stranger

TheCrayonSong🖍️

Anytime (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*.✧

Ochie 

Himi <3

Hey babe can u send me some of your blood pls. Then we can be like all of those celebrities ❤️

Ochie

Ochie

Momo I need help 

Yaomomo

Of course I will grab my credit card and we'll have your financial woes solved in no time 

Ochie

Oh not that kind of help

Not that I don't appreciate you offering

I just don't want to be a charity case and would like to pull my own weight whenever I can

Yaomomo

That's perfectly respectable, but know that I'm right here should you ever need that sort of assistance

Ochie

Ty Yaomomo

Yaomomo

What seems to be the trouble?

Ochie

Well I wanted to ask for some relationship advice and jirou can be a bit judgemental no offense

Yaomomo

None taken. Besides I think she generally has good judgement. I will do my best to give you helpful input on your troubles

Ochie

Thank you so much

Well the thing is last night my gf asked me if I could send her my blood and I don't really know what to make of it

Yaomomo

My oh my, I suppose that is a tad strange

Ochie

I know. Himi could b trolling but I'm worried that she's not and that if I say she is I'll hurt her feelings

I am she could genuinely want me to send her my blood, right? It could be a natural extension of her love of knives. I have to idea what on earth to do

Yaomomo

Relax Uraraka. Everything is going to be fine

Ochie

You're right breathe in breathe out

I got this. Even though waking up to a request for my blood is a very iffy way to start my day 

Yaomomo

Sometimes you have a weird day. And while I cannot say I have dealt with your situation before I would suggest a diplomatic response. Perhaps you could tell Himiko that you wouldn't want your blood to get stolen in the mail.

After all, that is also true

Ochie

That's a great idea. Thank you Momo. You've been super helpful

Yaomomo

Oh you flatter me

Himi <3

Ochie

Sorry Himi. I don't want to send you my blood. What if it got stolen I'm the mail?

Himi <3

Aww that's too bad I bet your blood is really pretty 

Anyways luv u Ochie ❤️❤️❤️

Ochie

Me too.

Chapter Text

We survived the entrance exam!

eat the rich

so um the other day I asked @3D_Printer for some relationship advice

Speaking of which it’s time for a name change

[eat the rich changed their name to eat the rich (except momo)]

eat the rich (except momo)

But now things have kind of spiraled and I don't think there's a textbook solution for this new development

AcidTrip

HEY why didn't you ask me for help??

now u see me

yeah why? I give amazing advice. Am I really that invisible to you?

Twilight ✨sparkle✨

Do u truly wish for Ochako to respond to that, mon ami?

now u see me

u understand NOTHING Aoyama. u are flashy as hell and have NO IDEA what it means not to be seen

Twilight ✨sparkle✨

It's not my fault that I can't stop twinkling

Feel_The_Noize

Don't rub salt into the wound Aoyama

Go apologize

Twilight ✨sparkle✨

Pardon @now u see me

now u see me

it's alright. sry abt freaking out. quirks are a struggle sometimes

Twilight ✨sparkle✨

Oui! My stomach is a testament to that

Feel_The_Noize

I swear sometimes it's like a zoo in here

AcidTrip

No way, that's not true

Kero-sene

You're right. It's more like herding preschoolers

Anyways don't you realize that Ochako didn't ask you for relationship advice of all things because you are chronically single?

AcidTrip

WELL why didn't she ask jirou?

Kero-sene

Preschooler theory confirmed

Feel_The_Noize

Hang on Mina has a point. Care to explain yourself Ochako?

eat the rich (except momo)

Nope

AcidTrip

Too bad that jirou is the chat's admin

3D_Printer

Surely you wouldn't abuse your administrative rights, dear

Feel_The_Noize

Sorry, I'm not above that

3D_Printer

Could you turn a blind eye for me?

Feel_The_Noize

Fine

But I consider this emotional manipulation. You know I can't say no to you

3D_Printer

I am aware darling

AcidTrip

Okay enough of your tooth rotting cuteness

what happened ochie?

eat the rich (except momo)

well u see the thing is

himiko asked me if I'd send her my blood. And when I told her no she said it was too bad bc my blood would've been pretty

what on earth do i even make of that comment?!!

now u see me

BLood ahHh eww

Feel_The_Noize

Okay, maybe she IS a serial killer

Kero-sene

It's not as unlikely as I would've liked

AcidTrip

Noooooo. Ochie PLEASE DON'T DIE

3D_Printer

Calm down everyone. Let's not jump to conclusions. After all Himiko didn't seem to pressure Ochako into giving her blood

Kero-sene

True, but then how do we explain the situation?

Feel_The_Noize

A quirk thing?

AcidTrip

OH YEAH. That'd make sense

Kero-sene

Exactly. It could be similar to my inherent fondness for flies

@eat the rich (except momo) what is your girlfriend's quirk?

eat the rich (except momo)

*crickets*

Feel_The_Noize

You don't know do you?

eat the rich (except momo)

Well Himiko hasn't been dealt the best deck of cards. I didn't want to pressure her with questions abt her quirk so she doesn't get uncomfy

AcidTrip

But u have talked w her abt a lot of personal things 

now u see me

mhm so i think you're at a relationship stage where u could ask abt her quirk 

eat the rich (except momo)

I suppose you have a point. Guess it can't hurt to ask

Bc rn I'm more confused than anything else 

Himi <3

Ochie

No need to answer but I've just been wondering what your quirk is

some like it hot 🔥🍗

TheCrayonSong🖍️

CHICKEN MAN

I need u to tell me your ways

some like it hot 🔥🍗

With what? I have many talents kid 🙃

TheCrayonSong🖍️

pls teach me how to lie

some like it hot 🔥🍗

WAIT WHAT? Do I look like a liar to you??

TheCrayonSong🖍️

well yeah

aren't you a spy from the commission? ʘ‿ʘ

some like it hot 🔥🍗

I will NOT stand for these wrongful accusations

on an unrelated note what makes u think i'm a spy

TheCrayonSong🖍️

bc most people would need to be paid to spend as much time as u do around dabi

some like it hot 🔥🍗

I'll have you know that the commission doesn't pay me!!

TheCrayonSong🖍️

So u ARE a spy ಡ ͜ ʖ ಡ

some like it hot 🔥🍗

Nope never no way

TheCrayonSong🖍️

are u lying to me or yourself?

but it's okay dabi's gonna keep u around even if you are a big fat liar

I mean the man has *needs*

some like it hot 🔥🍗

Are you physically incapable of not getting on people's nerves?

TheCrayonSong🖍️

Yep. It's a debilitating medical condition ✧◝(⁰▿⁰)◜✧

some like it hot 🔥🍗

Well at least you're funny

But why do even want me to teach you how to lie?

TheCrayonSong🖍️

My gf asked what my quirk is but I can't tell her bc it needs to stay secret for my stabbing hobby

some like it hot 🔥🍗

An arsonist and a serial killer. Is this really what my life has come to?

Is a bunny with homicidal tendencies really the most normal person I interact with?

TheCrayonSong🖍️

Mayhaps but stop acting like that's a bad thing

normal is boringgggggg

some like it hot 🔥🍗

ugh fair enough 

what's your quirk anyway?

TheCrayonSong🖍️

(✷‿✷)

some like it hot 🔥🍗

What? I need to know to know so i can help you

TheCrayonSong🖍️

I told u it's a SECRET

u sneaky sneaky spy

some like it hot 🔥🍗

well I can't help it

It's my job

TheCrayonSong🖍️

Ha!! U admitted it! Dabi needs to see this!!

Lying101

[TheCrayonSong🖍️ created Lying101]

[TheCrayonSong🖍️ added EndeavorSux]

[TheCrayonSong🖍️ added some like it hot 🔥🍗]

EndeavorSux

Wtf little shit?

TheCrayonSong🖍️

U r the meanest

Time 2 be punished ( ꈍᴗꈍ)

[TheCrayonSong🖍️ changed EndeavorSux's name to LittleShit]

LittleShit

Oh f off

TheCrayonSong🖍️

NEVER EVER!

[TheCrayonSong🖍️ changed some like it hot 🔥🍗's name to CHICKEN MAN 🐔]

CHICKEN MAN 🐔

Guess I'll only ever be chicken 2 u

TheCrayonSong🖍️

Yuppers!

Anyways dabs u should give me a nice little gift for what I'm abt to send u

CHICKEN MAN 🐔

Don'tttttttt

TheCrayonSong🖍️

I have all the POWAH and I'm not afraid to use it

[TheCrayonSong 🖍️shared Screenshot17654.jpeg]

LittleShit

Time to disown my entire family! You're my only sibling now brat

CHICKEN MAN 🐔

But you're already estranged from your entire family

LittleShit

Pah details 

But still brat I'm getting you some girly ass hair clips for this

TheCrayonSong🖍️

aww dabi (◍•ᴗ•◍)

u practically said 'ty'

I'm so touched 

LittleShit

don't be. I just have more money than I know what to do with

CHICKEN MAN 🐔

Then why do you look like u just crawled out of a dumpster?

LittleShit

as if you're one to talk you overstuffed chicken

CHICKEN MAN 🐔

The only time I'm stuffed is when I've got your 🍆 in me

LittleShit

JFC! why do I even associate with you? There is a LITERAL child here

TheCrayonSong🖍️

it's okay dabs I know abt ALL THE THINGS

LittleShit

No you don't! Forget that you do. Even with all your murders you can retain at least some of your innocence 

CHICKEN MAN 🐔

How heartwarming now u r acting like a real big brother hot stuff

LittleShit

Shut up or I'll turn you into barbequed meat

CHICKEN MAN 🐔

damn, you really do know how to turn me on 😂

LittleShit

both of you are impossible

I'm out

TheCrayonSong🖍️

Pls don't go

I need to figure out how to lie

LittleShit

why the HELL r u asking me?

TheCrayonSong🖍️

bc I know your greatest lie of all

your hair isn't actually black. no, u are actually a natural blonde 

CHICKEN MAN 🐔

🤣🤣🤣

LittleShit

fuck off and die birdie

I'm not a damn blonde

TheCrayonSong🖍️

I know. I was practicing lying

Did i do good? (◍•ᴗ•◍)

LittleShit

time 2 go fake my death again

CHICKEN MAN 🐔

Buttt hot stuff u got 2 tell the kid how to lie to her gf abt her quirk

LittleShit

are pro heroes supposed to encourage lying?

CHICKEN MAN 🐔

u ain't the boss of me 😜

LittleShit

You know what FINE have your damn advice brat

Tell your girlfriend some half truth like that your quirk is drinking blood

TheCrayonSong🖍️

That's horrible advice!

LittleShit

too bad

CHICKEN MAN 🐔

i take that hot stuff just up and left

TheCrayonSong🖍️

seems so

CHICKEN MAN 🐔

So r u gonna do as he suggested? 👀

TheCrayonSong🖍️

it's not like I have a better idea 🤷

Ochie

Himi <3

Hey babe sry it took so long to reply

I was busy drinking blood which is also my quirk :-)

Ochie

Thank you for sharing!

We survived the entrance exam!

eat the rich (except momo)

Okay I got a response

AcidTrip

WHAT DID SHE SAY?!

Twilight ✨sparkle✨

le suspense 😱

now u see me

i'm abt 2 fall off the edge of my seat

eat the rich (except momo)

Himiko's quirk is drinking blood

AcidTrip

???

Twilight ✨sparkle✨

Quoi?

now u see me

^^^

3D_Printer

Well I wasn't expecting that

Kero-sene

I was

now u see me

okay that's kinda rude know-it-all

Feel_The_Noize

Agreed. Though I guess between the garlic and blood there is a clear theme here

Twilight ✨sparkle✨

Sacre bleu!! une vampire

now u see me

poor ochie is gonna die a tragic sapphic vampire death

AcidTrip

A smexy smexy vampire death?

Twilight ✨sparkle✨

Perhaps 🧛✨

eat the rich (except momo)

Come on that's just insane. Himiko's just eccentric. She's not a vampire

AcidTrip

Her BLOODLUST would beg to differ 

eat the rich (except momo)

What? Are u the expert on vampires and outlandish conspiracy theories

3D_Printer

I know someone who is. Kyouka, may I have administrative privileges?

Feel_The_Noize

Of course, hun. Anything for you

now u see me

no fairrrr i wanna b admin

AcidTrip

Now this is just nepotism at its finest!

Feel_The_Noize

Deal with it

[3D_Printer added Soba4L1F3 to chat]

Soba4L1F3

Hello, Shoto here. I heard you have a theory for me.

Chapter Text

We survived the entrance exam!

Soba4L1F3 

What do you really think of my name?

eat the rich (except momo)

I think the name is nice

Kero-sene 

It seems like you really like soba @Soba4L1F3

Soba4L1F3

I do

Feel_The_Noize

Good 4 u?

Soba4L1F3

I have an even better name in mind.

[Soba4L1F3 changed their name to EndeavorSux]

Twilight ✨sparkle✨

C'est une grande déclaration 😮

now u see me 

WOW u must really hate Endeavor 

Kero-sene

What did he do to you?

AcidTrip

have a stick up his ass?

dude looks like he's perpetually grumpy

Feel_The_Noize

Admittedly the name isn't all the original though. I'd imagine that a lot haters use some variation of 'endeavor sucks' as a name

EndeavorSux 

Well, how many of them are Endeavor's son?

eat the rich (except momo)

Huhhhhhh?

now u see me 

say what?? 🤯

AcidTrip

WOAH that's a lot to unpack there

Twilight ✨sparkle✨

le monde has been turned upside down for moi

Feel_The_Noize

mind explaining what's up with your buddy, Momo?

3D_Printer

I don't think I will darling. Once you get Shoto started on his backstory he can't stop

EndeavorSux

Guilty as charged. Anyways, what's the theory you need my help with?

3D_Printer

Hmm how do I phrase this?

AcidTrip

OCHAKO'S GIRLFRIEND IS A VAMPIRE!!

eat the rich (except momo)

No she isn't. stop spreading fake news mina

now u see me 

but ochie just look at the evidence objectively. ur gf drinks blood and can't have garlic

what other proof do u need?

Twilight ✨sparkle✨

besides, in une ère of quirks are vampires truly so out of the question?

EndeavorSux

Sounds like a textbook example of vampirism. Sorry to inform you Ochako but it looks like there is no other explanation

eat the rich (except momo)

Himiko is NOT a vampire, okay?

I even have PROOF

[eat the rich (except momo) shared IMG15234.jpeg]

AcidTrip

Omg is she dressed as sailor Mars???

now u see me 

low-key her cosplay slaps

Kero-sene

It sure does

eat the rich (except momo)

And look she's out in the sun. So clearly she isn't a vampire

Twilight ✨sparkle✨

What about Twilight vampires? ✨✨✨

EndeavorSux

What is this Twilight?

now u see me 

WHAT? You've never heard of it??

3D_Printer

I'm afraid Shoto is very sheltered

But perhaps we can indulge in a movie marathon once we're at UA

AcidTrip

Wait Shoto's at UA?

3D_Printer

He will be since he took the recommendation exam with me

now u see me 

slayy y'all are so smart

EndeavorSux

No, it was just nepotism on my end.

Feel_The_Noize

Well at least we can give u points for acknowledging it

EndeavorSux

Thank you.

AcidTrip

but in a nutshell twilight vampires don't burn up in the sun

Twilight ✨sparkle✨

They can't stop twinkling!!

EndeavorSux

I'm sorry. I don't understand what that means.

Kero-sene

Aoyama is trying to say that the vampires stay out of the sun because it makes them sparkle

now u see me 

yup that's what gives them away as inhuman

EndeavorSux

Ah, I see, interesting…

[Twilight ✨sparkle✨ changed their name to Twilight ✨theory✨]

eat the rich (except momo)

You all are crazy. Himiko isn't a vampire from Twilight. Life isn't a YA novel

AcidTrip

that's people said abt comic books and look where we are now

EndeavorSux

The theory indeed seem to have validity considering the sparkles in the photo

eat the rich (except momo)

that's just a filter for the magical girl aesthetic

AcidTrip

A likely theory!

eat the rich (except momo)

it's literally insta. why wouldn't she use a filter?

EndeavorSux

No matter. It's not like an aversion to sunlight is the only vampire criteria.

Does your girlfriend have a reflection?

eat the rich (except momo)

probably?

AcidTrip

what kind of answer is that?!

eat the rich (except momo)

well I haven't met her irl so i can't know for sure

Twilight ✨theory✨

Mon ami, what kind of person doesn't have a reflection other than a vampire?

now u see me 

excuse me aoyama?!!

Twilight ✨theory✨

Oh non! my apologies hagakure

now u see me 

u know at this point i'm going to need a stamp card every time u prod my invisibility 

AcidTrip

still having two quirks isn't exactly a thing so maybe himiko's lack of a reflection is bc of vampirism

EndeavorSux

Well actually, I have two quirks. Fire and ice.

AcidTrip

Then shit! we're back at square one

eat the rich (except momo)

We never made ANY progress. You just decided to assume that Himiko has no reflection

Feel_The_Noize

Ochako might actually have a point. I mean like just think abt how cameras work

cameras have mirrors so Himiko wouldn't have photos if she were a vampire, right?

EndeavorSux

Photoshop exists.

eat the rich (except momo)

why are you all so insistent that there's some crazy conspiracy behind the fact that my gf drinks blood?

EndeavorSux

Because it's fun.

eat the rich (except momo)

well at least you're honest

3D_Printer

Oh Kyouka dear digital cameras like the ones in photos aren't mirrored. So that wouldn't disprove vampirism 

Feel_The_Noize

crap I didn't know

3D_Printer

It's alright dear. We can't know everything. We're only human.

AcidTrip

unlike ochie's gf

eat the rich (except momo)

gahhhhhhhhh

now u see me 

well what should we do now?

AcidTrip

I dunno have Ochie Google whether or not her gf is a vampire

Feel_The_Noize

apparently Google is the new knowing

EndeavorSux

I still think the Twilight theory is the best.

Twilight ✨theory✨

absolutement!!!

Kero-sene

have you considered that Ochako's gf is most likely a serial killer whose calling card is blood?

Twilight ✨theory✨

Non, that would be absurd!

AcidTrip

yeah I think the vampire thing makes more sense considering what we know

eat the rich (except momo)

u know what I'm going to ask Himi whether she's a vampire or not

now u see me 

Noooooo don'tttt

EndeavorSux

I doubt that a real vampire would tell you the truth

Kero-sene

While I don't think vampires exist, Shoto makes a good point

eat the rich (except momo)

well i for one value open communication in a relationship 

now u see me 

But we need proof!

eat the rich (except momo)

fine have it your way 

Himi <3

Ochie

Hey Himi

if u were a vampire

you'd tell me right?

Himi <3

ofc ochie! But why the question?? (ㆁωㆁ)

Ochie

Uh my friends wanted me to confirm that you aren't a vampire 

do u think you could take a photo of yourself in a church?

Himi <3

Sure thing Ochie ❤️

We survived the entrance exam!

[eat the rich (except momo) shared IMG3246.jpeg]

Feel_The_Noize

huh, guess there's not much room for debate if she's standing in front of an altar and stained glass windows 

EndeavorSux

I only have one thing to say…

Green screen 

Feel_The_Noize

Are those fangs?

AcidTrip 

Ha! They are!

now u see me 

And no cosplay! So they're REAL 😨

eat the rich (except momo)

well fangs don't necessarily make her a vampire

AcidTrip 

Are u trying to convince us or yourself? 🧐

now u see me

weren't u just pointing out how honesty is the best policy yada yada?

Kero-sene 

Radio silence?

3D_Printer

Uraraka are you alright?

EndeavorSux

I theorize that she died of shock.

AcidTrip

from what? our sass?

eat the rich (except momo)

i'm fine. just thinking 

Twilight ✨theory✨

about what?? 👀

eat the rich (except momo)

the fact Himiko being a vampire maybe isn't entirely impossible

OMAKE: Meanwhile, on a conspiracy forum

F_His_Fire

You stole my username.

EndeavorSux

no i picked it fair and square

besides can’t u just go w ‘EndeavorSucks’?

F_His_Fire

You don’t understand. The one thing Endeavor hates more than crude language is misspellings

EndeavorSux

tough luck. That’s not my fucking problem

F_His_Fire

Do you have a monopoly on hating Endeavor?

EndeavorSux

eh prolly

no one out there hates the flame bastard more than me

F_His_Fire

I’d beg to differ. I hate him so much that I refuse to use my fire quirk

EndeavorSux

well that’s just effin stupid. fire quirks are damn cool

clearly u are an idiot

no wonder i came up with this brilliant username first

F_His_Fire

I am not an idiot.

Do you have any secret love child theories to your name?

IBelieveInAlienz

Can u both STOP spamming the forum? It’s supposed to be 4 determining whether vampires are real

OMAKE: Shoto's alternate theory  

EndeavorSux 

Uraraka I am happy to inform you that your girlfriend is most definitely not a vampire

eat the rich (except momo)

oh thank god finally someone has sense here

AcidTrip 

noooooo Whyyy did you betray us Sho?

Twilight ✨sparkle✨

Our theory was brilliant 😭😭😭

EndeavorSux 

Well your theory wasn't bad. I just had a better one.

Twilight ✨sparkle✨

👀

3D_Printer

Pray tell

EndeavorSux 

Himiko is Stain and Vlad king's secret love child

now u see me 

but she doesn't look anything like them

Twilight ✨sparkle✨

Sacre bleu toru. Have an open mind!

now u see me 

alright

I guess w quirks these days anything is possible

eat the rich (except momo)

Umm Shoto your theory might be just a teensy bit off the rails

EndeavorSux 

Oh please this isn't even my wildest theory. In Author-chan's Shinkami fic I claimed stain was wash's secret love child

Kero-sene 

Well at least you aren't a flat earther

EndeavorSux 

Actually in Author-chan's DfO series...

Feel_The_Noize

And there goes my faith in humanity ☠️

Chapter Text

Himi <3

Ochie

HIMIIII

omg Omg omg

Himi <3

What's going on Ochie?

Did sth bad happen?!

Ochie

no not at all

sth AMAZING happened

Himi <3

Hurray 🎉🎉🎉

that's great news babe

um what exactly happened

Ochie

I made it into UA!!!

Himi <3

…

Ochie

whoops I guess I left u speechless

sry Himi :(

Himi <3

oh I'm fine 

U picked the support course right?

So u can learn all about making special chemicals

Ochie

nope I've never been great at chemistry

Himi <3

business so u can learn how to make deals?

Ochie

nah that's not my cup of tea either

I got into the HERO COURSE 

Himi <3

That's great ochie so happy so overjoyed for u definitely am not some sort of criminal w conflicting interests and a very complicated relationship toward heroes

yep definitely not me

so glad you'll be hunting down serial killers for a living someday. who knows maybe you'll even find one and bring them down before u r even a pro

i'm sure you'll do amazing

Ochie

aww ty himi 🥰

Himi <3

ofc ofc ochie

Ochie

anyways himi I wanted to ask you a question about transformation

Himi <3

Whoops look at the time

Gotta go stuff came up with dabi or whatever tfuhsegjwwzd

Ttyl cutie love you so much 😘❤️❤️💗💗💗🔪🔪🔪

Ochie

Love you too ❤️

And those texts were a bit chaotic - so pls stay safe

Lying101

TheCrayonSong🖍️

Dabiiiiii chicken MannNnn

Everything sucks the world is ending I just want to crawl in a hole and die or drown in a sea of blood

What did I do to deserve this AGONYY?

LittleShit 

murder. Like a lot of it

TheCrayonSong🖍️

well I guess you're not wrong 😔

CHICKEN MAN 🐔

but srsly what's going on fletching??

TheCrayonSong🖍️

my beautiful perfect kind smart flawless gf ISN'T a drug dealer 😭😭

CHICKEN MAN 🐔

aren't most people happy about that sort of thing?

LittleShit

The brat isn't most people birdbrain 

TheCrayonSong🖍️

i'm really not

anyways all my plans are ruined

I thought ochie and I would be a criminal power couple with a whole Bonnie and Clyde but sapphic dealio

Now that's IMPOSSIBLE :(((

CHICKEN MAN 🐔

So… you're going to break up with her?

TheCrayonSong🖍️

No never that'd be crazy

I love Ochie even if she is a hero

LittleShit

Kid shouldn't u have seen this coming from a mile away though? Isn't your gf's whole thing trying 2 provide a good life 4 her parents?

TheCrayonSong🖍️

I know but can u blame me for the occasional lapse in judgement when I never completed middle school?

LittleShit

well neither did I and look who still has functioning brain cells

CHICKEN MAN 🐔

I'd beg to differ since u made the choice to fuck me

LittleShit

Shut the hell up unless you want to sleep in a goddamn empty bed again!!

CHICKEN MAN 🐔

ooh you're so hot when u yell

LittleShit

guess we're having fried chicken for dinner!!

CHICKEN MAN 🐔

mhm feel free to eat me as much as u want 😉

LittleShit

Don't scar the brat for life u horny motherfucker. I effin hate you!!

CHICKEN MAN 🐔

Care abt u too dabi 😚

TheCrayonSong🖍️

enough of your flirting!! Some of us are having a CRISIS 

LittleShit

fine fine but didn't u know your gf had applied for UA already

which course did u think she signed up for?

TheCrayonSong🖍️

well the support course or business course seem like they would've given her drug making and selling skills

(◕ᴗ◕✿)

LittleShit

and THIS is proof that I'm surrounded by idiots 

TheCrayonSong🖍️

such a drama queen

CHICKEN MAN 🐔

u seem like someone who likes drama

TheCrayonSong🖍️

yuppers that's why i think dabi is fun 

｡◕‿◕｡

LittleShit

whatever little shit

also change my damn name back to something tasteful

TheCrayonSong🖍️

no can do

LittleShit

goddamnit

CHICKEN MAN 🐔

it's your own fault for basically adopting the fletching

LittleShit

just pile that onto my mountain of regrets 

Anyways brat, just stab your gf and you won't have to deal w her being a hero

TheCrayonSong🖍️

it's not ochie wanting to be a hero is all bad. I mean her being so caring is one of the things I love most abt her

CHICKEN MAN 🐔

Her being on the other side just makes everything more complicated?

TheCrayonSong🖍️

Yeah 😓

LittleShit

ugh enough of your whining

Convince her to change career paths or whatever. aren't most people especially gf in heroics for the money anyhow?

TheCrayonSong🖍️

OMG DABI U R S GENIUS 💗💗💗🔪

LittleShit

duh

Ochie

Ochie 

Hey himi could u answer my question from earlier pls

Himi <3

ofc ofc there's just sth very important I need 2 talk abt first

what do u think abt outer space?

Ochie

I guess it's pretty cool tho my quirk does make me a bit biased

heck when i was little i wanted to be an astronaut

Himi <3

THAT'S A GREAT IDEA Ochie ❤️

forget being a hero you'd be the cutest astronaut in the whole world

Ochie

thanks 4 the vote of confidence himi but I shelved the astronaut idea when i found out… what the bathroom situation is like

Himi <3

oof totally understandable

Ochie

anyways himi can u tell me if hypothetically u can transform into say a bat

Himi <3

ooh bats are so CUTE

speaking of cute I think you'd be cute even if u weren't flying the rocket

you'd prolly make even more money than u would as a hero if u used your quirk to send satellites into space bc the space programs could save on costs

Ochie

um I guess hypothetically sure

But like space programs haven't even been a thing since the dawn of quirks so that seems like a no go

Himi <3

dang what a bummer 😭😭😭

Ochie

I'll live plus there's a ton of money in heroics anyways 

Himi <3

u know what else gets u a lot of money?

selling meth

Ochie

you're joking right?

Himi <3

hahaha ofc 

just me being a silly little thing

totally not being a bad influence and trying 2 to convince u to join the dark side

yep nuh-uh

Ochie

good 2 know

Are u ok himi you're acting pretty weird

Himi <3

ah I'm just tired. brain be going on autopilot and acting a little funky

Ochie

gotcha pls make sure to get good rest himi

Himi <3

Will do cutie 🥰

Ochie

Off topic, have you ever felt inclined to turn into say mist or a wolf?

Himi <3

Oh wolves!! You just reminded me of sth. Wolfsbane's is the name of Dabi's fav liquor. U sure can make a pretty penny off of moonshine

Ochie

eh too bad chemistry isn't my forte. Plus moonshine is also illegal and all

Himi <3

Ugh what a drag. But I guess it is what is when u are a law-abiding citizen who totes wouldn't do anything forbidden

We survived the entrance exam!

EndeavorSux 

Did you find out whether your girlfriend can turn into a bat or the like?

eat the rich (except momo)

she never answered my questions

Kero-sene

Well that's an answer unto itself 

eat the rich (except momo)

No she wasn't being evasive himi seemed distracted

Twilight ✨theory✨

Expliques s'il te plait

eat the rich (except momo)

uh she was saying that drugs and space travel were better ways to make money than heroics

now u see me

and she brought this up out of nowhere??

eat the rich (except momo)

pretty much

EndeavorSux 

Hmm, the plot thickens.

AcidTrip 

Anyways forget abt Ochie's strange gf for once. I MADE IT INTO THE FUCKING HERO COURSE

Twilight ✨theory✨

Moi aussi 🎉🎉🎉

now u see me 

Ditto!!

3D_Printer

Likewise

Feel_The_Noize

Same here!!

EndeavorSux 

There was no doubt me getting in.

Kero-sene

I'm not surprised

Regardless i also got in

eat the rich (except momo)

Me too

Ahh I hope we all end up in the same class

now u see me 

fingers crosse 🤞

AcidTrip 

But hey whether or not we're in the same class won't stop us from celebrating

EndeavorSux 

Well… my father will be away for the weekend.

AcidTrip 

PARTY at Endeavor's house. Jfc this will be wild!!

Lying101

CHICKEN MAN 🐔

So I take it u had no luck with convincing your gf to quit heroics?

TheCrayonSong🖍️

mhm :(

LittleShit 

as I always say

Once a hero brat always a hero brat

CHICKEN MAN 🐔

Hot stuff you literally haven't said that once

LittleShit 

Details details. Besides your tiny little bird brain is probably misremembering stuff anyhow

CHICKEN MAN 🐔

I have a normal human sized brain

LittleShit 

yeah keep telling yourself that

But on another note are you okay kid?

TheCrayonSong🖍️

I think so. I mean it's no surprise that ochie wants to say in heroics. Even if she claims her motivations are selfish she really isn't

CHICKEN MAN 🐔

I mean putting her family first is pretty heroic

LittleShit 

yeah I guess. everyone in this chat probably wants their parents to burn in hell so she def has a lack of that going for her

CHICKEN MAN 🐔

HEY not everyone here wants to commit patricide

LittleShit 

Are u just saying bc u are a fanboy of my old man?!

CHICKEN MAN 🐔

How DARE you accuse me of that?? I threw away all his merch when you told me abt him! And that was YEARS before we got married

TheCrayonSong🖍️

(ʘᴗʘ✿)

LittleShit 

you stupid bird

CHICKEN MAN 🐔

Whoops 😬

TheCrayonSong🖍️

Oh POOR poor himiko

so sad she didn't get invited

She would've been the best flower girl ever

CHICKEN MAN 🐔

what's up w the 3rd person talk?

LittleShit

if only I knew

But brat we didn't even have a ceremony w me being legally dead and all so you being a flower girl is out of the question

TheCrayonSong🖍️

but why didn't you tell me you were married 🥺

CHICKEN MAN 🐔

Fletching, it's not bc of sth u did, kay? We just don't like to parade around the full extent of our relationship considering our career paths and all

TheCrayonSong🖍️

Oh okay. That makes sense.

LittleShit 

hey brat

thanks for understanding

TheCrayonSong🖍️

Sure thing dabs (◍•ᴗ•◍)

But how do make it work even though Hawks is a hero and you're the opposite?

LittleShit 

We had fucked up childhoods. Plus when u grow up as the commissions puppets together those are the sorts of bonds u can't break

TheCrayonSong🖍️

???

LittleShit 

He knew me before I was a villain

TheCrayonSong🖍️

I guess that doesn't apply to ochie and me

LittleShit 

Yeah kid

TheCrayonSong🖍️

You seem to trust Hawks a lot

LittleShit 

more than I should. No idea whether vows are enough to stop him from turning me in someday

CHICKEN MAN 🐔

I would never hot stuff

Though I am a little disappointed that your so called trust isn't enough for you to tell me more abt your friends

LittleShit 

the brat isn't my friend

TheCrayonSong🖍️

I'm heartbroken 😭💔

LittleShit 

deal with it

TheCrayonSong🖍️

Uh dabi why do you live w me and not w Hawks?

LittleShit 

the commission keeps that idiot bird on a fucking tight leash

CHICKEN MAN 🐔

Yeah that

Also I think he just wanted to be able to keep an eye on u and make sure you're safe fletching

TheCrayonSong🖍️

he said it was better to have a roommate bc rent was insane 

CHICKEN MAN 🐔

Classic hot stuff

Allergic to admitting he cares

LittleShit 

as if

You fuckers don't mean squat to me

CHICKEN MAN 🐔

Totally believe that

but hey kid maybe your relationship isn't hopeless. I mean enemies to lovers is a popular trope 4 a reason 

TheCrayonSong🖍️

enemies to lovers vibes are a mood so… slay?

yeah u know what this should work out just fine

LittleShit 

as long as your gf doesn't find out you're a villain

TheCrayonSong🖍️

Exactly!!!

Anyhow was getting all worked up abt the spy thing previously just for show?

CHICKEN MAN 🐔

mayhaps

TheCrayonSong🖍️

huh you 2 must be into some very intense role play

LittleShit

🖕

Chapter Text

EndeavorSux

TheCrayonSong🖍️

dabs do u ever regret being a villain

EndeavorSux

that’s a bit of a strong word brat

i prefer ‘self-employed arsonist’

TheCrayonSong🖍️

funny as always dabs  (⌒▽⌒)☆

EndeavorSux

Yeah whatever it’s hardly any sweat off my back

TheCrayonSong🖍️

But back to the question? If you had the chance not to be a villain – rather a civilian, a hero, a vigilante… well anything else – would you?

EndeavorSux

eh never had a choice kid

no point in bringing up the what-ifs

What brought this sort of thinking on anyways?

TheCrayonSong🖍️

it’s nothing 

Just in the sewers rn

maybe the fumes are getting to my head

EndeavorSux

Dafuq r u doing in the sewers?

TheCrayonSong🖍️

I told u that I can get rid of bodies all by myself now 🙂

EndeavorSux

Dammit kid

do u at least wear gloves to cover your fingertips?

TheCrayonSong🖍️

nahhh :3

EndeavorSux

jesus

I swear at this rate you’ll make my hair fall out

do u have any fuckin clue how easy it is to trace the murders back 2 u?

Are u just feelin iffy abt villainy bc u think you’ll get caught?

TheCrayonSong🖍️

no i’m an expert

There’s no way i’ll get caught

EndeavorSux

fuck looks like some of my cockiness rubbed off on u

TheCrayonSong🖍️

What can i say? you’re an inspiration dabs

EndeavorSux

but seriously kid just spit it out

if you’re going to force me to be your defacto therapist at least be quick about it

TheCrayonSong🖍️

it’s just villainy feels kind like a mask u know

like a role pushed on me bc i stabbed 1 guy

and not even w a real knife

i only used a box cutter

EndeavorSux

wow what a huge difference

but kid don’t u like getting away from folks?

You know… the people who tried to get your fangs surgically removed

TheCrayonSong🖍️

i mean i guess

life now sure beats middle school even if showers weren’t a regular dealio for a hot minute

It’s just i never chose this life 

EndeavorSux

Well eh i guess on the bright side you can stab as many people as you want now

TheCrayonSong🖍️

YEAH! 🔪 and their blood is soo pretty

EndeavorSux

but?

TheCrayonSong🖍️

It’s not the same as blood given freely

eh you probably think i’m being crazy

EndeavorSux

do i look like a sane person to you?

TheCrayonSong🖍️

Yep!

EndeavorSux

No sarcasm? Dang i love u kid

TheCrayonSong🖍️

thanks dabs

EndeavorSux

so you've really fallen for your hero girl huh

TheCrayonSong🖍️

I do and there’s always a part of me that wants to be her. To be like the person i love most

But she already said she can’t give me her blood

And i shouldn’t prod more otherwise it’ll be the same sitch w my parents all over again

It was all ‘you’re so creepy, Himiko’ when i only wanted to show how much i loved them

EndeavorSux

Just so you know my arson services are free if you want me to ash them

TheCrayonSong🖍️

thanks dabs

But u don’t have to

EndeavorSux

Is your gf raving abt how horrible villains are and bringin on all these doubts?

TheCrayonSong🖍️

no 

I suppose she’s been acting a teensy bit off

But nothing like that

EndeavorSux

then wtf started this crisis?!

TheCrayonSong🖍️

you’d be a shitty therapist  😠

EndeavorSux

Hey you’re the one who decided to vent to me

and it’s not like i have a high school diploma let alone a therapist license

what shit even triggered these thoughts anyways?

TheCrayonSong🖍️

I saw my reflection in the sewage water and kept on seeing that uniform. that mask of a girl pretending to be normal. and i dunno maybe i’m still wearing a mask

EndeavorSux

then drop the uniform or whatever

TheCrayonSong🖍️

but where else will i find an outfit this CUTE?

EndeavorSux

dang. U really are a little lost, huh?

TheCrayonSong🖍️

I’m not lost, Dabi! I swear!

EndeavorSux

Brat i didn’t mean that shit literally

…

Wait are you actually lost?

TheCrayonSong🖍️

I might have taken a wrong turn in the sewers 😏

EndeavorSux

Jfc brat

I’ll come pick u up

TheCrayonSong🖍️

You’re the best dabs

EndeavorSux

course i am

And brat just so u quit spouting bs at me, i think you’re real. So stop saying that you’re fake, wearing a mask or any of that crap

TheCrayonSong🖍️

Okie dokes

Thank u dabs <3 <3 <3

and ur pseudo-therapy skills weren’t half bad

Though maybe i’ll go to chicken man next time

Your hubby cusses less

EndeavorSux

Screw you brat 🖕

And are u ever going to give the marriage thing a rest

TheCrayonSong🖍️

NEVERRRR!

You tied the knot with birdman and now you’re in loOOOoove and will have a million spicy chicken sandwich babies

EndeavorSux

That doesn’t make any damn sense 

TheCrayonSong🖍️

does too!!!! 👿👿👹

EndeavorSux

that last face is fuckin ugly

you’d better watch your back when i pick you up from the sewers

because at this rate i won’t hesitate to drown you

TheCrayonSong🖍️

Yippee! Murder is my fav

EndeavorSux

uggh i set myself up for that one

TheCrayonSong🖍️

u sure did  (｡•̀ᴗ-)✧

Himi <3

Ochie

Himi are u alright?

U kept popping on and offline

Himi <3

Sry abt worrying u ochie

I got lost while running errands

But don’t worry my room mate helped me get back

Speaking of which want me to spill the tea on him??

Ochie

Sure

Himi <3

HE’S MARRIED!

and his husband is my best friend

well we haven’t made our best-friendship official but we’re besties at heart 💖

Ochie

oh do you live with him and his husband?

Himi <3

Nah dabi’s husband lives in a completely different city bc of work yada yada

But anyways is husband is like a transformer irl

It’s all bam – wings. Bam – no wings

Ochie

speaking of transforming

I asked u a question the other day and u never really answered it

Himi <3

HUH?!!! I didn’t. Omg i’m so sorry ochie my beloved. I shall repent for 3 millennia

Ochie

It’s fine himi XD

It wasn’t an urgent question anyhow

Himi <3

Well ask away so i can atone, cutie 🥰❤️💗❤️

Ochie

Alrighty then

Guess i’ll just go for it

Can u transform?

Himi <3

like dabi’s hubby?

Ochie

Like kinda. Can you by any chance grow wings?

Himi <3

Hmm… under special circumstances yes :D

Ochie

Ooh okay thanks for telling me

And you by any chance turn into other stuff…

Like smoke

Himi <3

Ewww what no way that’d be so weird

Ochie

How about a wolf?

Himi <3

I suppose it’s possible. I mean i have seen a kid w a wolf quirk before

Ochie

Huh i see

Thanks for answering all the questions himi <3

Himi <3

Ofc! Now i have a question for you

Ochie

Oh. ask way

Himi <3

do u know who the cutest girl in the world is?

Ochie

Himi it’s obviously you

Himi <3

No silly, you’re the cutest girl the whole world

Ochie

Nope you’re wrong

Himi <3:

Agree to disagree?

Ochie

fine, cutest girl in the world

We survived the entrance exam!

eat the rich (except momo)

Okay so i got some contradictory answers? 

Himi can turn into a bat, not smoke and she seems pretty sure she could hypothetically turn into a wolf

AcidTrip 

2/3 sounds like pretty solid confirmation to me

Feel_The_Noize

Still classic dracula vampires can turn into all 3

EndeavorSux 

Classic vampires don’t matter. Does Himiko shine like Edward? Did she go to the vatican naked?

now u see me 

Shoto? U watched twilight

Twilight ✨ theory ✨

in only a few jours after finding out it existed. Oh my, you put my love for all that twinkles to shame

EndeavorSux 

Of course, I watched Twilight. It’s great for research. Uraraka, does your girlfriend eat mountain lions?

eat the rich (except momo)

No!! Where would she even find one?

EndeavorSux 

By getting to their natural habitats quickly with her enhanced vampire speed

3D_Printer

Shoto, while it is nice to see you so passionate about this theory some of the leaps in logic are impossible to ignore

EndeavorSux 

Momo, you disappoint me. I thought you would be inclined to think outside the box more because your quirk

Feel_The_Noize

Don’t you dare dunk on my gf! There is a difference between being creative and being batshit

Kero-sene 

Everyone calm down. Fighting won’t get us anywhere

eat the rich (except momo)

Thank you, Tsu

And if my gf is a vampire which she IS NOT she’s definitely not the twilight variety

now u see me

keep telling yourself that

Twilight ✨ theory ✨

One day u shall see THE TRUTH, mon ami

Feel_The_Noize

But srsly some cold hard evidence wouldn’t hurt

now u see me

Maybe ochako could meet her gf irl??

Then it’ll be easier to tell if she’s a vampire or not

Kero-sene 

That is a surefire way to end up dead in a ditch

EndeavorSux 

I suppose it is possible that a vampire could drain the entirety of Uraraka’s blood. That would be unfortunate.

Feel_The_Noize

Well, it’d be a different story if Ochako met her gf in a public setting

now u see me 

Like a house party!!!

AcidTrip 

Invite her to Shoto’s!

eat the rich (except momo)

Oh yes sure okay will do

it would be nice to meet himiko face to face

She’s always so upbeat online and i’d love to see that in person

AcidTrip 

Awww get yourself irl quality time w your weird gf

now u see me 

Hell yeah!! Our questions will finally get definitive answers

EndeavorSux 

And once that conspiracy is solved I can go back to devoting all my time to secret love child theories

Kero-sene 

Pardon?

EndeavorSux 

It’s important work. I think this local villain with blue flames is the secret love child of my father’s sidekick Burnin’

Feel_The_Noize

I don’t think she’s old enough to have a secret love child

EndeavorSux 

Then he must be her long lost brother.

AcidTrip 

Couldn’t he be your long-lost brother? Bc you know your family has firequirks

EndeavorSux 

Oh please. Fire quirks are hardly rare.

Plus, look. Green flames. Blue flames. Practically the same color

The family resemblance is uncanny

Kero-sene 

If you say so 

OMAKE: DabiHawks Proposal

Snuggled in bed, Keigo curled against Touya, reveling in how warmth radiated from him like a hearth. At the same time, his touch was as icy as stone. An unusual juxtaposition. The glint of staples in the moonlight drew Keigo in. After all, birds tended to have a fondness for shiny things. He could still hear the agonized cries from the training room in the HPSC's basement. The way the handlers would reel with disgust at the sight of purple burn scars littering skin. A testament to how Touya was nothing but a failed prototype to everyone but Keigo.

Five years. A lifetime of longing for the faint scent of ashes. A desire the hold Touya so close that Keigo could see the tufts of red at the roots of his hair. Keigo had always thought a part of him had died on Sekoto peak. His last fraction of humanity had simmered way - leaving a perfect emotionless puppet behind for the Commission. Keigo hadn't expected to find those crystal blue eyes again. But five years after the funeral, he found that unmistakable piercing gaze again while chasing a villain in an alleyway.

Raking a hand through, Touya's hair that smelled of cheap dye, Keigo sighed deeply and knew that he was never letting go. The words slipped out of his mouth before he fully processed them.

"Hey, hot stuff. Let's get married."

The staples on Touya's face pulled taunt as he laughed. The raspy breathless kind of snickering. Touya gently knocked a fist against Keigo's forehead. "How would that even work? Neither of us have legal identities."

"Well, we could still have a ceremony or something."

Sitting upright and leaning against the backrest of the cheap motel bed. "This is a new level of stupidity even for you. Who would we even invite? I mean our families are basically dead to us."

Keigo elbowed Touya in the side. "Not everyone's as antisocial as you. I for one have friends."

"Friends plural? Bold thing of you to see when the only friend you have is that rabbit."

While Keigo opened his mouth to protest, Touya held a finger in front of his lips. "Come on, birdbrain. Rumi already doesn't approve of your mystery hookup. Do you really think she'd be on board for a ceremony?"

Cursing himself internally for letting a stupid impulsive desire slip out, Keigo buried his face in his hands. "Yeah, yeah. I know. Wanting to take the next step in our relationship was a stupid idea." Just gotta be satisfied with our childhood friends/ occasional hookup status.

Long pianist fingers picked at staples while Touya evaded direct eye contact. "Well, I wouldn't say that. We could just get married for us. Like married in theory or whatever. No documents. No witness. Just us."

Keigo scratched behind his ear as his heart gradually warmed up at the revelation that Touya wasn't completely opposed to being linked. "But do you think it'll be real if it isn't official?"

Rolling his eyes, Touya ruffled Keigo's hair. "Keigo, I'm the product of a quirk marriage. Your parents were as garbage as mine. Do you really think convention is the best fit for us?"

"Yeah, it isn't."

Taking Touya's hands, Keigo let the warmth from the person who meant the world to him consume him. Gold eyes drilled into Touya like there wasn't another flame quite as bright in existence. Cupping Touya's face, Keigo pulled him close and his organs melted as his soft lips brushed against dry ones. Keigo envisioned an imaginary blush crawling across Touya's cheeks instead of scar tissue as he broke away from the kiss. Pressing Touya's palm, Keigo grinned from ear to ear.

"I guess we're married now, huh?"

Touya sighed in false annoyance. "Mhm. Guess I'm stuck with the good old-fashioned ball and chain."

OMAKE: Twilight!Toga

Chapter Text

Lying 101

[TheCrayonSong🖍️ changed the chat name to my familyyy 🔪❤️🔪]

[TheCrayonSong🖍️ changed CHICKEN MAN 🐔’s name to Pop-eyes]

[TheCrayonSong🖍️ changed Little Shit’s name to Dad-bi]

Dad-bi

Brat. why? just why?

TheCrayonSong🖍️

U r my dad-bi and hawks is my pop-eyes

Bc we are a FAMILYYY

Pop-eyes

Hurray i always wanted kids

Dad-bi

Well i fuckin didn’t

i was a little shit as a kid - kudos to ‘that fucker’ for forgetting to raise me

like hell i’d want to deal w rampant spawn

Pop-eyes

But HOT STUFF himiko’s such a sweetie pie

Dad-bi

did u hit your head? Since when is the brat synonymous w sweet

TheCrayonSong🖍️

Heyy! I’m cute

(◕ᴗ◕✿)

Pop-eyes

Damn right

Who else could get away w your rampant use of kaomojis?

TheCrayonSong🖍️

nobody! (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*.✧

Dad-bi

dammit what did i do to deserve this bs?

Pop-eyes

arson, murder, vandalism, grand larceny, jaywalking, manslaughter… need I go on?

TheCrayonSong🖍️

huh? I thought manslaughter and murder were the same thing

Pop-eyes

See hot stuff ! this sweet summer child still has so much to learn

do you really want to abandon her and have her fend for herself

Dad-bi

like i give a shit

Pop-eyes

aww fletchling it sounds like he practically said he’ll gladly adopt you

Dad-bi

Did not

Pop-eyes

Eh did too

TheCrayonSong🖍️

Yippee 

Anyways my dearest fathers

Dad and pops

Papa and baba 

Daddy and

Dad-bi

Shut the HELL up kid!!!

We don’t use that sort of language in this household

Pop-eyes

That’s not what u said last night

Dad-bi

for the final fucking time birdbrain stop being a perv

There is a goddamn child here

Pop-eyes

Not my fault that you’re smoking

Dad-bi

Great! Flippin fantastic! Love my life

now i’m surrounded by 2 dumbasses and their terrible puns

Pop-eyes

it was time to accept my role and bring on the dad jokes

TheCrayonSong🖍️

speaking of which chicken man

i was wondering if u have any fatherly advice 4 me

｡◕‿◕｡

Pop-eyes

Go for it fletchling

TheCrayonSong🖍️

ochie invited me to her friend’s party

And it’s the first time we’re meeting in person

I wanna make a good 1st impression

but i don’t know what normal person bring to parties let alone hero students

😞😞

Pop-eyes

Well lucky for you i’m an expert when it comes to parties

Dad-bi

Jfc you aren’t 

those stuffy useless hero galas don’t count

Pop-eyes

you’re just jealous that i get to go and u don’t

Dad-bi

As if. I spent way too much of my childhood wasting away at those glorified pageants. Like i’d want to waste my adulthood like that too

Pop-eyes

darn. I was really looking forward to parading u around as my hot trophy husband

Dad-bi

Good grief!!

U are going to put me into an early grave

Pop-eyes

Eh would it really be my fault though? your health was in shambles long before we reconnected

Dad-bi

I am the pinnacle of health

doctors frickin love me

Pop-eyes

The creepy one that patched u up doesn't count

Dad-bi

I can’t help it if i’m perfect eugenics specimen

TheCrayonSong🖍️

????

Pop-eyes

it’s probably better not to open that can of worms fletchling

hot stuff is touchy abt his past

Dad-bi

Lies.

The mystery is just part of my brand

Pop-eyes

yeah yeah

I guess you got to edgelord your way through life somehow

Dad-bi

F U

Pop-eyes

Yesss please

Dad-bi

Jesus not this crap again

Pop-eyes

Never gonna stop

You’re shackled to me for life babe

Dad-bi

Don’t i know it

And regret it

Pop-eyes

No you don’t

But back on topic

Just bring your most photogenic smile to the party and it should be smooth sailing from there kiddo

Dad-bi

it isn’t a FUCKING hero gala

You should bring vodka or like ecstasy if u really wanna party kid

Pop-eyes

SAY NO TO DRUGS!

Dad-bi

Hell no. drugs are a fuckin delight. 

i’m not letting my kid miss out on the joy of being as high as a kite

just bc you are a damn stick in the mud

Pop-eyes

Ha u said she’s your kid!!!!

dad-bi confirmed

Dad-bi

fuck it

say whatever you want to

Not like anyone’s gonna buy your crap

Pop-eyes

my hero merch sales say otherwise

Dad-bi

One day i’m going to burn every fuckin hawks plushie to the ground

Pop-eyes

Awww but i thought you love the body pillow i gave you

TheCrayonSong🖍️

A body pillow?

(. ❛ ᴗ ❛.)

Pop-eyes

well hot stuff needs sth to hold when i’m not around

Dad-bi

Fake news. I’d rather lick endeavor’s shoes than own a body pillow of you

Pop-eyes

Check his closet if you’re curious kid

TheCrayonSong🖍️

On it!!!!

Dad-bi

No damn way

TheCrayonSong🖍️

Tehehe like you can stop me while you’re all the way in kamino talking to that informant

Dad-bi

Hey the pay for that one gig is decent

the villains seem kinda incompetent though so i’ll wait

Maybe check on what magne, compress etc think

Pop-eyes

Villain group you say?

Well as an excellent HPSC spy i’m gonna forget absolutely everything you said

Dad-bi

thanks birdbrain

But kid i dunno bring chocolate, flowers or sth

Those are usually a safe bet

TheCrayonSong🖍️

I don’t wanna though

My folks always brought that kinda stuff to parties

But maybe i could bake sth

Pop-eyes

Yeah something from the heart sounds great!

TheCrayonSong🖍️

Mhm. my folks didn’t really do homemade stuff. They always had the chef do everything. So this way i won’t be like them

Dad-bi

Sounds like a plan or whatever

But do you even know 2 bake?

TheCrayonSong🖍️

Not yet but i can learn anything from youtube

I bet brownies are super-easy lemon-squeezy

Dad-bi

Have fun in denial-land i guess

do you know which nobody’s house this party is at?

TheCrayonSong🖍️

Someone called Shoto

Pop-eyes

oh shit

Dad-bi

Well i have a special ingredient you absolutely HAVE to put in your brownies

The exhaust trailed behind Dabi's motorcycle like a dragon's smoke while he held out a middle finger toward the traditional architecture. Himiko furrowed her brows as Dabi sent the house a piercing glare as if that would make the building spontaneously ignite. Passing Himiko a round plastic container that had the same odd aroma as his room, Dabi smirked devilishly.

"Give them hell, brat."

Pouting, Himiko snatched the container of brownies. "No, Dabi! I'm trying to be a good guest."

Gripping the motorcycle handles, Dabi rolled his eyes. "Yeah yeah. If you're so set on hospitality and all that, make sure that everyone gets a brownie."

Himiko saluted. "You got it!"

Laughing almost manically, Dabi ruffled Himiko's hair. As much as she disliked how he was making her messy buns look more disheveled than effortless, she didn't push him away. Because Dabi wasn't like her parents who pretended they cared by sending Himiko to an expensive private middle school for all to see. No, Dabi expressed the fact that he liked having Himiko around in little silent ways.

Not that Himiko expected him to ever admit it out loud. But she supposed that she must have been doing something right considering how Dabi hadn't reduced her to a pile of ashes. Getting cremated alive would have been such a shame. How was Himiko supposed to kiss Ochie if she was nothing but dust?

Himiko's face grew hot as she grounded herself in the present and pictured Ochie's soft rosy lips. Months of dating and late-night conversations without standing in the same room even once. Luminescent brown hair gleamed in Himiko's mental image of Ochako.

Soon she would be close enough to touch. Close enough to kiss. Himiko's permanent blush deepened by several shades.

Behind his tattered coat, Dabi's chest puffed up like he was almost… proud. His expression morphed and Dabi raised a skeptic brow.

"Don't stab your girlfriend like you did with your middle school crush."

"Aww. No fair. Stabbing is the best."

"But good citizens don't stab. Plus, if you love her you wouldn't want to see her hurt." Dabi's voice grew weirdly pitchy – like he was trying to imitate Chicken Man. Not that talking higher made much sense because while Chicken Man didn't sound as raspy as Dabi, his voice was still pretty deep.

"Ugh, fine." With a grieved sigh, Himiko unstrapped the knife bound to her thigh and slipped it into Dabi's jacket pocket.

"If you really want to let out your violent tendencies, bust a wall in that house or something. I'm sure that whichever rich bastard owns the place can afford to repair it."

Himiko beamed. "Ruining rich people's houses sounds fun. Do you think we can do that to my parents someday?"

Dabi shrugged. "Only if I have nothing better to do."

Himiko giggled at what was basically Dabi's convoluted way of saying yes. With a skip in her step, Himiko headed for the doorway. Behind her, the motorcycle engine rumbled as Dabi sped away.

She clutched onto the container of brownies until her knuckles turned white and her index finger hovered over the doorbell. Why did one small button make her feel like the sky was closing in on her? Himiko almost laughed at how ridiculous the sudden racing in her chest was. Because the doorbell shouldn’t be terrifying when she knew she had the capability of taking down a man twice her size with little more than a Swiss army knife.

Taking a deep breath, Himiko smoothed out her pleated skirt and smoothed out the bomber jacket she’d borrowed from Dabi. She pouted at the memory of how he insisted that he wouldn’t let her wear her go-to school uniform getup to the party because it would be “totally lame”.  On instinct, she almost sprinted down the street and away from the smooth wood door in front of her. After all, she wasn’t wearing her cutest outfit. What if Ochako accused her of being a catfish because she wasn’t that pretty in real life?

Himiko dug her fangs into her lower lip and grounded herself in reality. Everything was going to be fine. Ochako had seen Himiko’s photos countless times and knew of her affinity for knives. In spite of Himiko not being normal Ochako was still there. Unlike Mother, unlike Father.

So Himiko took that leap of faith and pressed on button. Seconds after the bell echoed throughout the traditional building that made Himiko’s childhood home pale in comparison, the door tore open. Black sclera stared back at Himiko, and a pink girl let out an ungodly shriek. Himiko giggled at the realization of why Dabi claimed that she was a menace to society whenever she got too excited.

“Oh my god! Ochako’s girlfriend.”

As she tried to remember Chicken Man’s advice on making a good first impression, Himiko grinned widely and held out her free hand that wasn’t clutching the container with brownies. Gasping, the pink girl remained fixated on Himiko’s smile.

“Wow, you really do have fangs!” Then the pink girl clasped her hand in front of her mouth like she hadn’t meant to spit out that comment.

Himiko couldn’t help but snicker at the thought. Because if anything the girl seemed more surprised at the fangs than anything else. Not like she was inclined to file Himiko’s fangs down to a pulp because they were an eyesore. Plus, with the pink girl’s mutations, Himiko doubted that someone who’d likely experienced quirk discrimination would condemn her too harshly for the ways her quirk had manifested physically.

The lamps overhead refracted off an invisible figure like a kaleidoscope. A pink shirt and a pair of pastel shorts hovered in midair as unseen hands clasped together. An invisible palm reached out to shake Himiko’s hand.

“Hi! I’m Toru. I’ve heard so much about you.”

“From Ochako? Yay!” Himiko tucked a loose strand of hair back into her bun. She had to look perfect when Ochako finally saw her in person. “Glad to see that I’m not the only one constantly talking about her girlfriend.”

Toru chuckled slightly and Himiko imagined that the invisible girl was nodding. From the corner of her eye, Himiko spotted Toru fishing a hand-held mirror out of her pocket. But before Himiko could get a clear view of it, the pink girl firmly elbowed Toru in the side and the compact went flying beneath a shelf.

Himiko hadn’t yet fully processed the strange interaction when she noticed a set of piercing eyes staring back at her. One of them was the same crystal blue as Dabi’s. The boy seemed to be glaring into Himiko’s soul, dissecting her like she was some complex puzzle piece. Tapping a finger against her chin, Himiko tried to figure out what on Earth was up with him.

Oh! He must’ve been that “weird-ass peppermint motherfucker with a dead look in his eyes” that Dabi mentioned. Himiko tilted her head to the side and examined Shoto’s strong jawline. Weird Dabi had made it sound like Shoto would be far from a sight for sore eyes – but in actuality, he was super cute. Not as cute as Ochako of course.

Priding herself on being a good guest, Himiko stepped closer to Shoto and shoved the container in his face. “I brought brownies.”

“Thank you,” Shoto responded in a monotone voice. He stared back at her blankly enough that Himiko wondered whether he was even capable of blinking. But Himiko didn’t take his lack of emotiveness to heart since she was well aware of how she was a tad bit more animated than the average person.

A lightbulb went off over Himiko’s head as she remembered a request Dabi had made. She rummaged through the pocket of her borrowed jacket and held out a sticky note for Shoto. “Ugh, I got a message my roommate said to pass along to you.”

Dark eyes gleamed like black holes determined to suck in any gossip as the pink girl stared over Shoto’s shoulder while he accepted the paper and unfolded it. “What does it say?”

Shoto furrowed his brows. “‘Stop putting fish on Touya’s shrine.’”

“Ooh, who’s Touya? Spill the tea,” the pink girl said.

“He’s my dead brother.”

A silence sharp enough to rival Himiko’s knives cut through the air. Wincing, Himiko wondered how common dead siblings were. As Shoto’s eyes had turned glassy and the pink girl stared at her feet, Himiko settled on the fact that dead siblings were a major bummer. She could only hope that Shoto’s older brother had pulled the same move as Dabi apparently had and only faked his death.

Along with a tall girl with dark hair and another who had earphone jacks Ochako entered the hallway. The space grew oddly crowded with so many bodies huddled together. And Shoto’s revelation still weighed heavily on all those who had been there to witness it. Still, Himiko only had eyes for how Ochako’s hair glistened amber in the lamplight. With the rush of blood pumping all the way to her ears, Himiko could only imagine how the sound of Ochie’s voice would set her heart aflutter.

Locking eyes with Himiko, Ochako smiled fondly. Then she tensed up as the awkwardness in the hallway dawned on her. While Shoto absent-mindedly lifted the container lid, Ochako started to shoo her friends away.

“Go enjoy the brownies! Play charades! We don’t need a whole entourage of third wheels.”

The girl with earphone jacks raised a brow. “Do I count as a third wheel if I’m dating Momo?”

Ochako stepped closer to Himiko, allowing her to her the faint blush veiled behind brown hair. Wrapping her palm in Himiko’s and turning Himiko’s organs into a puddle, Ochako spoke up. “Guess not. But you’ve already met your girlfriend in real life. Can’t I have my moment in peace now, Jirou?”

Jirou raised her hands in defeat. “Fine, I’ll move along. Listening to the playlist Tsu and Aoyama set up probably beats watching you and Himiko swooning over each other anyhow.”

As everyone winded out of the hallway, the pink girl winked at Ochako. “Still, you better count on it that we’ll chit-chat with Himiko later.”

Ochako rolled her eyes and nudged the pink girl toward the living. “Yeah, sure. Now get going.”

Soon enough, it was just Himiko and Ochako. Noting how Ochako kept stealing glances at the leather material of Himiko’s fur-lined jacket, Himiko concluded that Dabi had made the right call with the fashion choice after all. Himiko beamed from ear to ear as she grabbed Ochako’s other hand and stared at her directly. Every little detail about Ochako was so perfect. Like how her eyes shone like honey. Or the way she kept biting on the corner of her lip. A camera lens couldn’t quite capture all these tiny intricacies.

“Hey, cutie!” Himiko said.

“Hi.” Ochako shone like the sun as she smiled. “Guess I’ve only been sort of catfished.”

Shell-shocked, Himiko blinked frantically. “Huh? What? Why? Do you think I’m ugly?”

Ochako’s breath hitched. “No! Not at all! You’re even prettier in real life! You look nothing like you're photos because you're more beautiful.”

Sinking into Ochako’s embrace, Himiko let out a sigh of relief. “Thank God! Ochie, you scared me.”

“Sorry, everything sounded better in my head,” Ochako muttered.

“It’s okay. I forgive you.”

A few beats of quiet passed between them. Ochako didn’t let the quiet linger long though and she gestured toward the greenery looming outside the window. “Want to go outside? I heard that Shouto’s family garden is pretty nice.”

“Anywhere is perfect as long as I’m with you.”

And Himiko would’ve been a liar if she didn’t admit how satisfied she was that her comment sent a series of panicked blushes across Ochako’s cheeks.

Nightingales chirped from trees trimmed to perfection. Red tiles hung over a pavilion with a roof that stretched toward the heavens. The city lights washed out all the stars but the sky was still an immaculate shade of navy blue. Water ran over a manufactured creak that raced past polished black stones. A lush green lawn shone in the moonlight.

In the pavilion of Shoto’s family garden, Himiko leaned back and rested her head in Ochako’s lap. She half-expected to be pushed away, but instead, Ochako caressed Himiko’s face and pulled her closer. What had Himiko done to deserve the cutest girl in the world? Savoring the touch of Ochako’s porcelain skin, Himiko decided not to question fate.

“Wouldn’t it be great to have a place like this someday?” Himiko mused.

“Hm, but doesn’t money rot people’s personality?”

“I don’t know your friend Shoto seems pretty nice.” Himiko paused. “Though I guess he does have that dead brother so I suppose the high life isn’t all glitz and glamour.”

Ochako breathed in carefully like she was meticulously considering Himiko’s every word. And maybe she too was thinking about the fact that the trauma of a dead sibling might tie into Shoto’s lack of emotiveness. Dabi had said he was a good kid though. Huh, funny. Himiko’s roommate acted like he practically knew Ochako’s future classmate.

“Yeah, money doesn’t buy happiness is what people say. Though that doesn’t change the fact that I want more of it.”

“Same here.” Himiko prodded her pleated skirt. “Like imagine if I didn’t have to thrift as much as I do for cosplay. I’d have all the sailor scout’s outfits!”

Ochako brushed a hand through Himiko’s hair in a way that made electricity jolt through her body. “Well, once I’m a rich hero I’ll fund all your cosplay needs.”

“Have I ever told you how much I love you, Ochie?”

Chuckling, Ochako twirled a strand of Himiko’s hair around her finger. “Yes, many times.”

Yet the couple’s moment was somewhat disrupted by screaming from inside the outside. From the kitchen, Toru’s upbeat voice belted out ‘so addictive’. Himiko’s chest swelled with satisfaction. She could only assume that Dabi’s brownie recipe was working its magic. Pressing her lips together, Himiko made a mental reminder to ask him what exactly his secret ingredient had been.

Bang! The sound of collapsing rubble echoed from the opposite side of the house. As Himiko shot upright, she and Ochako gave each other a double-take to confirm that they weren’t imagining things.

“Was that an explosion?” Himiko asked.

“I think so? I don’t really want to check though in case I get accidentally fined for it.”

“Totally fair. And wow your friends sure are interesting.”

Ochako shrugged. “Hero students are just built different I guess.”

 With a wistful sigh, Himiko leaned against Ochako’s shoulder.

“I’m so glad we could meet like this.”

For a moment, Ochako paused. Almost hesitant. Yet the uncertainty lingering in her brows faded away the longer she stared at the warmth in Himiko’s eyes. “Me too,” Ochako whispered softly.

Placing her hand on top of Ochako, Himiko wrapped her borrowed jacket around both their shoulders to keep the chilly April breeze out. Ochako’s breath was so close that Himiko could feel it against her neck. Basking in Ochako’s presence was as nice as Himiko pictured transforming into her would be.

Ochako’s friends kept shouting from inside the house, which had Himiko thinking that no matter how much she and Ochako were in sync they remained in completely different worlds. Craning her neck toward the night sky, Himiko wondered whether she was willing to step outside of her prescribed role for Ochako. Or even for herself. Sure, heroism was never going to be in the cards for Himiko. But maybe she could turn into nothing similar. Someone who didn’t fit in neatly in a black-and-white reality.

Closing her eyes, Himiko envisioned herself trying her hand at vigilantism and punching a mugger in the face. A step out of her comfort zone. A chance to get one step closer to becoming like the girl she loved. To become the sort of girl her parents had never thought she could be.

OMAKE: Spotify

EndeavorSux

hey brat u have been glued to your phone all damn day

what have you been doing 

TheCrayonSong🖍️

listening to this :3

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5ZPUzEJzGS80sUNmgxq2Pv?si=8923cf84e9774b06

EndeavorSux

that better not be a damn rickroll again

TheCrayonSong🖍️

ofc it's not you silly

it's the spotify playlist for this fic

EndeavorSux

ugh it's a bunch of pop songs

TheCrayonSong🖍️

not my fault you don't have any music taste

EndeavorSux

and WTF does a fic that's still well below 20k have a playlist that's over 2 fucking hours long

TheCrayonSong🖍️

it's one of the mysteries of the universe

EndeavorSux

bleh whatever

and how dare you insult my music taste

i am a person of CULTURE

TheCrayonSong🖍️

ohoho if you're a person of culture do u know tumblr?

EndeavorSux

the hell is that shit?

TheCrayonSong🖍️

EndeavorSux

JESUS that's worse than the hamilton one

TheCrayonSong🖍️

ha i knew you got your emo phase from somewhere

EndeavorSux

it's not a fucking phase brat

TheCrayonSong🖍️

tru tru

your hubby would dump you if you weren't full of shiny things

Chapter Text

Himiko clutched her knife and was ready to skip through the alleyways only for Dabi to grab her by the shoulder and frown sternly. Apparently, he thought she’d trip and fall onto her own knife in the process. Which was ridiculous. Himiko was a knife expert – as if she’d make that sort of amateur mistake.

As Dabi’s combat boots echoed through the streets, Himiko craned her neck toward the night sky. Her memories of the days she used to wander frigid streets on her own were as vivid as ever. The years when satiating her hunger let alone her thirst for blood were impossible. She remembered that broken little girl sitting under a bridge while wearing a manic smile.

Her hobbies hadn’t been much better than watching grass grow or water boil. Each day hours went by as Himiko gawked at her wristwatch, hoping that at any moment her parents would appear. That they would ask her to return home.

That she’d get some sort of proof that someone still loved her. Even though she was a monster by nature.

With a wistful sigh, Himiko stared at the blade in her hands. It was coated in the blood of several drug dealers whose throats she had slit that night. Clutching the handle, she wondered whether the dried blood was a sign that she was proving her parents wrong. Maybe she was a little bit sadistic for reveling in the screams of her dying victims – but at least this time the people who died likely deserved it.

Plus, it felt a little nice to slash back at the world that was desperately trying to give her a death by a thousand cuts.

Himiko stared at the gray pavement coated in puddles that drenched her shoes. Red was and forever would be Himiko’s favorite color – with pink being a close second courtesy to Ochako. But Himiko was starting to take a liking to gray – a symbol of how her actions were neither entirely good nor bad.

Hands in his pocket, Dabi grunted like he couldn’t be bothered to be out at night. Like he’d much rather be curled up atop a mattress in their rundown apartment than following Himiko across town. Still, she’d caught him grinning a few times while having men with pockets lined with heroin burst into flames. He’d said that was simply fulfilling Stain’s ideology. And if anyone understood trying to bring Mr. Stainy’s goal to fruition it was Himiko.

Yet something about the embers blazing in Dabi’s eyes felt more unrestrained. The fire burned so blue it looked nearly while – bordering on the brightness of a flash bomb. Yeah, something about taking down dealers was personal for Dabi.

Moonlight flickered on a dumpster lid, illuminating a broad figure in a trench coat. Across from the man a teenage girl sat on the doorstep. Deep red slashes dug into her skin, mutilating the bottom half of her face. Most days, Himiko would’ve found her blood pretty – yet the sight of the tears pouring down the girl’s face burned like acid. Because all she could see was a middle schooler huddled in the cold as she pulled a school uniform around herself even though she hadn’t entered a school building in years.

Crossing her fingers, Himiko prayed that the girl would have someone approach her like Dabi did when she was huddling by a creek in late December. The flame Dabi offered finally let the bluish tint fade from Himiko’s freezing fingers. And thank God for that. It would’ve been much harder to stab people with missing digits.

But maybe that other girl would be lucky like Himiko. Maybe she would find someone like Dabi who cared about Himiko and who’d never admit it out loud even if he got threatened with the destruction of the entirety of his favorite brand of hair dye’s supplies.

Then, the figure across from the girl retrieved a syringe. Deep brown fluid that looked amber in starlight sloshed in the syringe as the man it to her. Besides, Himiko heard Dabi’s breath hitch. Calm and collected Dabi who never got phased by anything.

From the corner of her eye, she spotted him run his fingers along the scar tissue along his hands. Dabi’s gaze grew both glassy and alert all at once – as if he didn’t quite know how to process suddenly being hit by a weird sense of déjà vu.

Without even asking for confirmation, Himiko twirled her blade in her hand in sprinted forward. Her gold eyes twitched in the direction of a girl who had red scars far too similar to Dabi’s purple ones. A lost soul trying to drown out the ache of ruined skin with constant delirium.

Squelch. Himiko grinned as she dug the knife into the man’s throat and twisted it deeper. He didn’t even manage to scream as he gagged on the blood cascading along his tattered vocal cords. Based on the empty look in his eyes, Himiko knew the dealer was already dying, but she kept stabbing him in the liver, kidney, eyes – every organ she’d learned about when she still had biology class.

Because the dealer had to succumb in the most painful way possible.

He had to pay.

Cackling, Himiko wadded in the man’s blood. For once, the red didn’t feel like just the marks of her sins, a sign that she was less than human because her quirk demanded death. No, this time the crooked angle of a broken neck felt like victory.

Like some sort of compensation for the cold sweats Dabi would break into when he tried to ween off his vices. Now, he tried to subtle about the nights he’d stay awake late. Never spoke above a whisper. Yet Himiko still heard him flushing bags of white powder down the toilets late at night and caught him picking at his scars until they went bloody the next morning. Then, two days later she’d spot his newest purchases huddled on his nightstand. And the cycle would start over again.

Setting her knife aside, Himiko walked over to her roommate who was still staring off blankly. “Dabs, are you okay?”

“Yeah, that just brought back a lot of unpleasant memories.” Dabi snapped out of his dissociation and walked up to the corpse. He barely gave the scarred girl a glance as he set the dealer ablaze. Smoke rose from his flames like a warning signal for how broken society was.

Crossing his arms, he walked away from the limbs flaking away in the fire and reached out to ruffle Himiko’s hair only to backtrack amid the realization that his skin was still excruciatingly warm from his quirk. Instead, he settled for a half-smile.

“You did good, brat.”

“Thanks, Dabs.” Himiko beamed brightly as she wiped the remnants of blood off her knife. After all, she wanted to keep her favorite blade in pristine condition.

Dabi let out a wry laugh at Himiko’s fixation on the matter and without another word, the two of them left behind the alleyway and wound back in the direction of their apartment on the outskirts of town. Crystal blue eyes lingered on the thin scars lining pale skin. A completely different texture than his marred purple flesh.

Himiko gulped deeply. She knew Dabi hated talking about his past. Despised mentions of what exactly left him in a body that was tearing at the seams. But maybe just this once Himiko could allude to how she’d read between the lines.

That she saw every ache and pain. That she cared for Dabi as much as he did for the night that he’d offered a fire that stopped her from freezing to death.

Toning down the voice to a dull whisper, Himiko said, “I would’ve intervened if I’d been there when you were a kid.”

“I know. You might be a knife-obsessed freak but you do care about people.” Dabi stared at Himiko sharply as if he was about to give her sage advice he expected her to listen to. “Be careful though because that might bite you in the ass.”

“Like you have room to talk with how head-over-heels you are for your hubby,” Himiko laughed.

“Fuck off.”

Shoving her knife into her pocket, Himiko gave Dabi a shit-eating grin. “Anyways, do you think I should tell Ochie that it’ll be super-easy for her to be a drug dealer now that she won’t have as much competition?”

Behind Dabi’s eye-roll, Himiko spotted a fond smile. “Do whatever you want.”

Ochie

Himi <3

so ochie
i heard that all the drug dealers
in your neighborhood have been eliminated

Ochie

Omg that’s such a relief that’s such a relief

Himi <3

Ikr? Now there’s no more competition

Ochie

Wait? What? Are u a drug dealer

Himi <3

no. why would u say that?

Ochie

well you did bring weed brownies to Shoto’s party

Himi <3

ooh
So that was dabi’s secret ingredient

Ochie

Eh i guess you’re not a drug dealer then
if you can’t even tell there were drugs in the food

Himi <3

alas knives are my speciality not drugs

Ochie

Speaking of knives i got a buy one get one free deal on a set
Want me to mail it to you?

Himi <3

OMG YES
KNIVES ARE MY LOVE LANGUAGE
OCHIE I LOVE YOU SO MUCH
TIME TO FIND A RING TO PROPOSE

Ochie

LMAO HIMI XD
I love you too though

Himi <3

Would you love me if i were a worm?

Ochie

yep bc you’d be the cutest worm
Would you love me if i were the bluntest knife?

Himi <3

Yes you’d still be my fav even if you weren’t good at cutting things

Ochie

Aww himi <3 <3<3

Himi <3

Would you still love me if i committed crimes?

Ochie

depends on the crime
i’m fine with you stealing my heart

Himi <3

i mean different crimes like punching drug dealers

Ochie

oh! U mean vigilantism
Ofc i would i respect vigilantes especially since hero school is expensive
and not everyone to can afford to go.
I think there’s beauty in bending the rules a little to make society a better place

so vigilantes if it means anything i think they’re pretty great

Himi <3

Yeah i think so too
My fav is stendhal though he doesn’t go by that name anymore

Ochie

i’ve never heard of him so i’ll have to look him up

Himi <3

I just think he’s cool bc his quirk is so much like mine
well not a ton but like a little

Ochie

hey it’s cool you look up to someone with a similar quirk
I mean i like 13 a lot

Himi <3

Hell yeah! You totes got the same cute space vibes down as them

Ochie

aww thanks himi
Srsly that means the world

Himi <3

fingers crossed that u get an internship w 13

Ochie

Absolutely! And classes start tmr 
i’m so excited but also kind of terrified

Himi <3

You’ll do great ochie! Even if you never become a drug dealer!

Ochie

hang on did you watch breaking bad recently?

Himi <3

Mhm dabs and i have been binging it these last few days

Ochie

Sounds fun! Anyways i’m gonna go to sleep so i’m all set for tmr

Himi <3

Nini!

Ochie

Goodnight Himi!

EndeavorSux

EndeavorSux

so what did your gf say abt whatever crap you wanted to talk to her abt?

TheCrayonSong🖍️

well she seems on board w vigilantes
so i guess that’s sth i can stick w for now
it’s nice to actually choose sth for once

EndeavorSux

Works 4 me brat
As long as you use any cash you snag from drug dealers
2 pay your half of the rent

TheCrayonSong🖍️

can’t your rich husband pay for our rent?

EndeavorSux

i’m his hot trophy husband. find your own rich partner

TheCrayonSong🖍️

Meanie! Ochako’s so broke

EndeavorSux

Too bad deal w it

TheCrayonSong🖍️

anyways ochie didn’t see that excited abt 
there being no more competition w drug dealers
Maybe she likes the challenge?

EndeavorSux

Well i could give a shot at selling coke
Not kids tho ‘cause f that shit

TheCrayonSong🖍️

thanks dad-bi you’re the best

EndeavorSux

ofc i am

We survived the entrance exam!

eat the rich (except momo)

so i have a theory

EndeavorSux

A theory? Yes, finally. Another one joins us.

AcidTrip

CONSPIRACIES SLAY

now u see me

No joke they do

Kero-sene

What did u find out ochako?

eat the rich (except momo)

I think Himiko might be a vigilante.

Feel_The_Noize

How come? This seems a little bit out of the blue

eat the rich (except momo)

Well she asked me if i’d still love her if she committed crimes like vigilantism

3D_Printer

Honestly that speaks for itself

eat the rich (except momo)

She also mentioned looking up to some vigilante called Stendhal
bc he has a quirk kind of like hers

FeelTheNoize

hmm guess it might be worthwhile to look into him then

Twilight ✨theory✨

There goes our drug dealer theory. C’est triste

EndeavorSux

Don’t worry. She can be a vigilante, a vampire and a drug dealer.
Those things aren’t mutually exclusively

eat the rich (except momo)

Actually i don’t think she’s a drug dealer
It just sounds like she watched too much breaking bad

AcidTrip

That’s all the more proof! Where do u think she got the inspo from for her drug dealing ways?

EndeavorSux

You. Are. A. Genius.

eat the rich (except momo)

Good grief. I’m going to sleep

AcidTrip

Bye ochako! Have fun knowing that your gf sells drugs

Also i’m so hyped to see all of y’all at ua tmr
I hope we’ll be in the same class

Chapter Text

We survived the entrance exam!

AcidTrip

Rumor has it ochako’s girlfriend has a cookbook

3D_Printer

What for?

AcidTrip

Weed brownies

Kero-sene

That wasn’t your best work with jokes

AcidTrip

i know 🙁

eat the rich (except momo)

Actually himiko never put the weed in the brownies

Her roommate did

now u see me

Yk that actually makes a lot of sense

Twilight ✨theory✨

Oui, he sounds quite suspicious

EndeavorSux

I don’t know quite what to think of him just yet

But i feel like he’s someone’s secret lovechild

Twilight ✨theory✨

A new conspiracy? I’m excited to see what becomes of it, mon ami

EndeavorSux

Thank you, Aoyama

Twilight ✨theory✨

Mais oui, todoroki!

AcidTrip

Speaking of rumors etc

Have you all heard abt aizawa’s expulsion rate?

FeelTheNoize

I heard he expelled his entire class last year

eat the rich (except momo)

yikes looks like we’re screwed

3D_Printer

Well said.

my familyyy 🔪❤️🔪

Pop-eyes

babe, what r we watchin for movie night?

Barbie? Oppenheimer?

It's your choice

Dad-bi

Like I give a shit abt that mainstream garbage

Pop-eyes

You know what

We should just watch both

It's like fire and ice

Can't have one without the other

Dad-bi

You. Are. Such. An. Idiot.

Birdbrain don't make me tell the brat about your embarrassing teen photos

Pop-eyes

Okay okay I surrender hot stuff

Always so intense lol

But that's what I love abt you 💗

Dad-bi

don't get all mushy gushy

That shit's fucking disgusting

TheCrayonSong🖍️

Can we please watch my fav movie

(●♡∀♡)

Pop-eyes

I don't see why not

TheCrayonSong🖍️

HURRAY! Time for human centipede

Pop-eyes

Touya? Is our kid broken?

Dad-bi

Nah, she's right

The movie's a masterpiece of art

Pop-eyes

I'm surrounded by heathens 😭

TheCrayonSong🖍️

I pinkie promise you'll love it

Costuming was a highlight

💗🍑👄🍑👄

Dad-bi

Ahhh my eyes

You should go to jail for those emojis

TheCrayonSong🖍️

Oh please

We all know there's a whole bunch of reasons why I should get arrested 

Pop-eyes

Well don’t talk about your crimes around me

Bc yk arresting villains is technically my job

Dad-bi

hence why you’re shit at your job

Pop-eyes

I am the NUMBER 3 hero ty very much

Dad-bi

like the bar for the top 10 is even that high if my old man made the cut

TheCrayonSong🖍️

(◕‿◕)

Pop-eyes

rip

u dug your own grave w that hot stuff

Dad-bi

still gonna blame you though

Pop-eyes

i know

but i’ll manage

No clue what i’d do without you lol

Dad-bi

Yeah you’re hopeless

Can’t even boil water

Pop-eyes

can too!

TheCrayonSong🖍️

Silly chicken man

Even i can boil water

Dad-bi

Eh no need to dunk on him too much, brat

The commission didn’t bother teaching him basic life skills

Pop-eyes

Yup they did like a 1/10 job raising me

Dad-bi

Not a 0/10?

Pop-eyes

well if not for the commission i would’ve never met you

Dad-bi

ew so fucking cheesy

I wanna gag

TheCrayonSong🖍️

Enough of your weird flirting!
So dabs your dad is a hero?

Dad-bi

…

TheCrayonSong🖍️

And your name is touya?

Dad-bi

I don’t need to tell you shit

TheCrayonSong🖍️

Hang on oMG Omg esyiujlicjvbp

Pop-eyes

LMAO your cover is blown 😂

Dad-bi

Shut up!!!

TheCrayonSong🖍️

Don’t worry dabs i won’t tell your bio fam that you’re still kicking

…

I know a thing or two abt not liking the family you originally got stuck with

And I’m so glad that i got to choose you and hawks as my family instead

Dad-bi

Huh

Thanks kid 

Pop-eyes

AWWWWW FLETCHING

Dad-bi

Great look what you did, brat

Now he’s sobbing all over my favorite trenchcoat

Pop-eyes

Hot stuff it needs a washing anyways

I stinks like hell 

Dad-bi

Not my fault laundry is so expensive

Pop-eyes

You literally don’t have to be a cheapskate

I have plenty of money

Dad-bi

I’m more than your sugar baby okay

I can make my own money

Pop-eyes

Yeah yeah you’re so good at burning bodies

But fletching i’m so glad that you see me as your family

Dad-bi

Like the chat name didn’t make it obvious enough?

Pop-eyes

Ha i know you’re secretly happy abt it too hot stuff

But fletching please call me keigo

Only if you want to of course

No pressure or anything like that

TheCrayonSong🖍️

No i’d like to call you keigo

Or better yet Pa

Pop-eyes

HOT STUFFF can we keep her?

Dad-bi

Like there was ever any other option

TheCrayonSong🖍️

Teehee :3

Oop i gotta go

Ochie texted me

Pop-eyes

Kids

They grow up so fast

When it comes to gfs they forget all abt their poor aging parents

Dad-bi

Hawks you aren’t poor or old

Pop-eyes

Ah time is relative

So technically i’m old

Dad-bi

Then i must be even more ancient

Pop-eyes

Yep hence why your skin’s all crusty like a dinosaur’s

But you are my favorite crusty dinosaur

Dad-bi

That’s probably the weirdest compliment you’ve given me

Pop-eyes

There’s more where that came from hot stuff <3 <3

Himi <3

Ochie

Himiko, do you think I have what it takes to become a hero?

Himi <3

Ofc Ochie!!

You’ll be a great hero

I mean I’m sure you’d be an even better drug dealer

But you'll do amazing with heroics too

Ochie

Ahh i’m not so sure abt that

Himi <3

The drugs part?

Ochie

That’s a hard no actually

I’m no walter white

Himi <3

So… you don’t think you’ll have what it takes to become a hero?

Ochie

Yeah

My teacher has a high expulsion rate and i probably won’t make the cut

Especially bc i’m in heroics for selfish reasons

Himi <3

Ochie, stop.

U are the least selfish person i know

You want to become a hero to help your parents

Not for the fame, not for the glory

You are the furthest thing from a corrupt hero

Ochie

Thanks himi

Do you think i’ll pass the quirk apprehension test 

that starts in a few minutes?

Himi <3

I don’t just think so. I know it

Ochie

Thanks, you’re the best himi 💗

Himi <3

So are you (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

EndeavorSux

TheCrayonSong🖍️

Do you ever wonder whether mr. stainy is wrong abt heroes?

EndeavorSux

Why r u asking?

TheCrayonSong🖍️

I dunno ochako and her friends don’t sound like fakes

That one kid saved her from getting crushed by a giant robot at the entrance exam

So maybe heroes aren’t all like my parents

Yk obsessed w their image above all else

EndeavorSux

where are you getting at w this kid?

TheCrayonSong🖍️

Well since your dad’s a hero and he sucks 

I wanted your 2 cents

EndeavorSux

Heroes suck. Period.

At least most of the pros.

I’m sure that plenty of heroes knew abt was going on behind closed doors

But no one did anything no matter how much i sat on my knees and begged

That was so fucking humiliating and pointless

TheCrayonSong🖍️

Sorry dabs

EndeavorSux

Ain’t your fault brat

TheCrayonSong🖍️

So do you think ochako and her friends 

would leave someone who’s hurting out to dry?

EndeavorSux

Maybe not

A lot of heroes go into their careers bright-eyed and kind-hearted…

But that fades over time

Just ask keigo abt the things he’s had to do

TheCrayonSong🖍️

As tempting as it is

Maybe I should give him his privacy :3

EndeavorSux

Not being a snoop for once? Maybe birdbrain’s right

You really are growing up, brat

TheCrayonSong🖍️

Guess so

but dabs do u think i could be like heroes

Make people smile back at me instead of running away?

EndeavorSux

Only one way to find out

TheCrayonSong🖍️

Ooh are we taking down more drug dealers?

EndeavorSux

Not like we have any better shit to do

TheCrayonSong🖍️

YAY CRIMES THAT HELP PEOPLE

EndeavorSux

Guess vigilantism is kinda fine

We’re still mostly breaking the jaw

TheCrayonSong🖍️

Ikr? Not committing crimes is sooo lame

We survived the entrance exam!

[AcidTrip changed the chat name to Logical Ruse Victims]

eat the rich (except momo)

You have no idea how relieved i am abt the logical ruse

AcidTrip

Same i was worried i’d be a goner

Sure having quirks permitted was great and all

But i’d been skipping leg day a little too much lately

now u see me

Tell me abt it 

Invisibility wasn’t doing me any favors for the tests

AcidTrip

Rip sry girlie

now u see me

It’s okay

eat the rich (except momo)

I guess himiko was right abt there being nothing to worry abt after all

now u see me

Aww she comforted you

That’s super sweet

eat the rich (except momo)

So you’re coming around to my ‘strange’ gf after all?

now u see me

Well it’s a lot easier to do now that i know she didn’t put the weed in the brownies

eat the rich (except momo)

Fair point

[SparkySparkyBoomMan entered the chat]

[manliestman entered the chat]

[IidaTenya entered the chat]

[Premium_DuctTape entered the chat]

[DisneyPrincess entered the chat]

[Tentacles the chat]

now u see me

AHHH THE CHAT’S BEING INVADED

[revelry in the dark entered the chat]

[C6H12O6 entered the chat]

[chasing my tail entered the chat]

Twilight ✨theory✨

Rapide!! We must save our precious theories from the invaders

[No.1 entered the chat]

[Number1AllMightFan entered the chat]

AcidTrip

Relax everyone. I just sent the rest of the class the link to the chat

It’s too much effort to make an entirely new class chat from scratch

FeelTheNoize

Eh fair enough

I definitely wouldn’t bother

3D_Printer

Well, I find it splendid that we now have a space for the entire class to interact.

AcidTrip

Damn momo you are giving off major class prez vibes

3D_Printer

Oh, I doubt I would be suited for such a role.

FeelTheNoize

Momo there’s literally no one better suited than you. And I’m not saying that just bc you’re my girlfriend. U have calming presence that’s nice to be around

3D_Printer

Aww, Kyouka. You are such a sweetheart.

IidaTenya

I agree with Jirou, Yaoyorozu. You would make an excellent class president.

3D_Printer

Thank you, Iida.

IidaTenya

You are welcome.

On another note, I find all this talk of vampires in the chatlog absolutely scandalous.

Talk of superstition has no place in an academic setting.

AcidTrip

Oh really

Looks like someone’s never heard of school ghosts

SparkySparkyBoomMan

Nah i think iida has a point

Why are y’all talking so much abt twilight?

No.1

STOP BLOWING UP MY PHONE WITH NOTIFICATIONS

I’m trying to sleep you fucking extras!

manliestman

Sorry, Bakubro

Do you want help w silencing your phone

No.1

I can do it myself shitty hair

Of course i know how to press the goddamn do not disturb button

AcidTrip

Who even goes to sleep at 8 pm tho?

No.1

Shut THE HELL up!

now u see me

Well, Bakugo sure is intense

Kero-sene

That’s an understatement

SparkySparkyBoomMan

But back to the blood thing

Wassup w that?

eat the rich (except momo)

Oh it’s just that my gf has a blood based quirk

And some people think that she’s a vampire instead

Number1AllMightFan

A blood quirk? Interesting

Tell me all abt it

EndeavorSux

Don’t steal my conspiracy theorist job!!!

I was here first 😠

Chapter Text

Logical Ruse Victims

Number1AllMightFan

I’m not trying to steal your role i swear

quirks are just so cool especially blood quirks since they are fairly rare

Though ofc what makes them the most interesting is how they typically affect either the user’s body or other people’s but rarely both

Vlad king’s blood manipulation is probably what comes to mind as my 1st thought

Naturally based on the fact that vlad king has fangs it wouldn’t be out of the question for someone with a blood-based quirk to strongly excuse vampire qualities

Though with the complexities of fictional vampires powers it is unlikely for one person’s quirk to correspond 1 to 1 w vampires abilities

AcidTrip

Wow! Midoriya you sure know a LOT abt quirks

now u see me

Yeah like damn that was practically an essay

EndeavorSux

It was more like a poorly written essay seeing how it was practically one run on sentence.

IidaTenya

Todoroki, it is convention with texting and chatting to not necessarily stick to conventional grammar rules so I do not believe Midoriya has done anything wrong.

DisneyPrincess

It’s kind of admirable that Midoriya is already engaging so much here.

Tentacles 

Very true, Kouda. I mostly just lurk in group chats.

AcidTrip

Ah don’t worry your pretty little heads off

Shoto’s probably just scared about having competition

Kero-sene

Maybe he’s worried that someone will come up with a better theory than his twilight one

Feel_The_Noize

it’s not like Shoto set the bar very high

Twilight ✨theory✨

Excusez-moi!!! Twilight theory is REAL!

SparkySparkyBoomMan

I mean Robert Pattinson is hot and all

but as much as i want vampires as smoking as Edward Cullen to be a thing

i don’t think that glittery vampires would actually be a thing

manliestman

Have an open mind bro

Just because you haven’t seen something doesn’t mean it isn’t real

Premium_DuctTape

yeah, like who knows? Maybe even the quirk thief is super legit

SparkySparkyBoomMan

Well i can’t argue w kiri’s logic

EndeavorSux

Uraraka’s gf likes blood and can go in the sun

Twilight is the only explanation

also , Midoriya no one cares abt your quirk facts

Any of us could find that online

Kero-sene

Shoto, that’s just rude

now u see me

Yeah! Shame on you! We not nearly that mean abt your twilight fixation

Number1AllMightFan

Todoroki has a point the things i know abt quirks really aren’t anything special

eat the rich (except momo)

well i for one think it’s cool that midoriya knows so much abt quirks

Number1AllMightFan

Thank you

I’m not doing anything phenomenal though

Just a bunch of silly scribbles

No.1

stop being such a dumbass, deku

Don’t be fucking stupid and act like you haven’t poured your entire existence into those ugly quirk notebooks

AcidTrip

Aren’t you supposed to be asleep, Bakugo?

No.1

I could sense that deku was acting like a shitty nerd

And that was keeping me awake

Nothing stupider than him acting like he’s not practically a quirk expert

Number1AllMightFan

AWWWWW KACCHANNN

No.1

Shut up nerd

I don’t want you to even get started w those damn waterfalls of tears

Number1AllMightFan

But you called me a quirk expert

No.1

I said practically an expert

that’s not the same thing

Premium_DuctTape

Behold the wild tsundere!

SparkySparkyBoomMan

watch how he acts like he doesn’t care in his natural habitat

No.1

you fucking extras are givin me a headache

Back to fucking sleep

IidaTenya

Bakugo, is it truly necessary for you to constantly use such vulgar language?

No.1

I’m the fucking best

I can do whatever i want 

Who are you to tell me what to do you pretentious prick?

Good FUCKING night losers!!!

AcidTrip

nini!

manliestman

Get good rest, bro!

SparkySparkyBoomMan

heaven knows he needs his beauty sleep

Premium_DuctTape

sure does considering how much of an uggo he is

now u see me

hey bakugo is pretty when isn’t scowling

AcidTrip

I think he’s pretty even when he’s scowling

3D_Printer

To each their own

AcidTrip

hey i like the bad boys

It’s a vibe y’all

Twilight ✨theory✨

i must agree that there is sth enticing abt roguish charm

Feel_The_Noize

Eh i think we’re too gay to understand that bad boy stuff, Momo

3D_Printer

That would make sense, Kyouka. I will only ever have eyes for you

eat the rich (except momo)

can i join the club of not getting bad boys, momo and jirou?

now u see me

nah

Just bc you don’t like boys doesn’t make you exempt

AcidTrip

i mean it does kinda seem like you might have fallen for the bad girl if u know what i’m getting at :3

Twilight ✨theory✨

Exactly! Ochako has fallen for a hypnotizing vampire femme fatale !

eat the rich (except momo)

Can we talk abt something other than vampires?

Number1AllMightFan

Yes please! Would you mind telling me what you already know abt your gf’s quirk

Only if u want ofc no pressure

eat the rich (except momo)

Ah i guess there’s no harm in that

Not like the theorizing can derail even more at this rate anyhow

um she asked if she can drink my blood?

She says her quirk is sort of like some vigilante called stendhal

And she can transform under specific circumstances

SparkySparkyBoomMan

Circumstances like it being nighttime?

Premium_DuctTape

OOooooo the vampire thing actually makes a lot of sense

AcidTrip

ikr? Ochako’s gf even has fangs

manliestman

Uh i dunno if that’s much of an indicator

i mean i have sharp teeth too

eat the rich (except momo)

See sharp teeth don’t make himi a vampire

As I have said time and time again

It’s just her quirk, right, Midoriya?

Number1AllMightFan

Honestly the transforming under certain circumstances 

Seems to be the dead giveaway

I suspect she can transform by drinking blood

EndeavorSux

Obviously. Because she's a vampire. Vampires get their powers to transform into bats by drinking blood.

SparkySparkyBoomMan

I think you're onto sth man 🤔

AcidTrip

Sry to break the news to you shoto but vampire theory is starting to make less sense by comparison

Like the wing thing makes more sense with midoriya’s quirk idea

EndeavorSux

Maybe himiko has wings under certain circumstances because she is hawks secret love child

eat the rich (except momo)

how would that even work?

Hawks is in his early 20s

Himiko is a teenager

EndeavorSux

Don’t question secret love child theories

Twilight ✨theory✨

I shall not! There is no other explanation for why someone would have a bird quirk other than being related to hawks

revelry in the dark

The dark shadows of prejudice lurk here

Twilight ✨theory✨

whoops

Bonjour tokoyami

revelry in the dark

I wanted to bask in the chaos of this revelry

Only to discover accusations spiraling and unfounded claims that there is only one person with an avian quirk

Twilight ✨theory✨

Ha ha i shall make my exit

revelry in the dark

No matter how far you run the shadows will always follow you

SparkySparkyBoomMan

so…

that was ominous

anyways moving on

as fun as it is i don’t think that himiko is a vampire

I guess i’m not jumping onto the bandwagon after all

EndeavorSux

You're all traitors abandoning vampire theory in it's moment of need

(ノ｀⌒´)ノ┫：・┻┻

Premium_DuctTape

Wow Todoroki be flippin tables

now u see me

it gets wild in this chat 😂

Number1AllMightFan

Todoroki's theory isn't completely baseless

Now I don't think vampires are real but himiko's quirk does seem to mirror vampiric traits

EndeavorSux

So you admit I'm right!

Feel_The_Noize

He didn't shouto

Midoriya just gets how you jumped to conclusions

Twilight ✨theory✨

Same difference mon ami

Kero-sene

Not u too yuga

Twilight ✨theory✨

I must support my fellow twilight theorist 

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*.✧

revelry in the dark

The darkness couldn’t keep him at bay for long

Twilight ✨theory✨

My light is just too blinding

AcidTrip

enough abt twilight theory

Midoriya tell us more about what you think abt himiko's quirk

now u see me

OCHAKO TELL HIM THE SCOOP!!

eat the rich (except momo)

well she said she can grow wings under certain circumstances and that she can't turn into a bat or fog

Also there's still the stendhal things

Number1AllMightFan

hmm well the fact that she can't turn into sth inanimate kind of cements that she can only transform into things that have blood

The fact that she can still get wings but can't become a bat might rule out mammals and mean she can transform into birds among other things… but I'm not quite sure about that

SparkySparkyBoomMan

Ooh this is getting interesting 👀

Number1AllMightFan

So I'm thinking that she can transform into people who have wings

3D_Printer

Then you're implying that she can transform into people and take on their quirks

Number1AllMightFan

Yes, but this might all be completely off the mark

IidaTenya

As far as conjecture goes I believe that you have argued your case fairly well.

Number1AllMightFan

Thank you dhjdrg bdrsyfb I didn't do anything special

Feel_The_Noize

Well you've done more than claim than Himiko glitters in the sunlight

Twilight ✨theory✨

mais Himiko was twinkling in the picture

EndeavorSux

Exactly. And as soon as we find out that she plays baseball twilight theory will be 100% confirmed

IidaTenya

I do not see what baseball has to do with any of this

Kero-sene

just roll with it Iida

EndeavorSux

Well I bet Midoriya doesn't have any ideas abt stendhal

That vigilante is clearly a vampire too which is why himiko feels such a kinship w him

Number1AllMightFan

I've heard of stendhal before

But he went off the radar several years ago

There's no telling whether he's dead or alive

His quirk has always been a mystery

I guess transform is plausible though

That would help with stealth and would tie in w how we know so little abt stendhal

Tbh I kinda drawing a blank on this

manliestman

No worries, man

I think your thoughts were pretty cool

EndeavorSux

Ha, Midoriya! Looks like you don’t know everything.

Who’s the better theorist now?

3D_Printer

Shoto, I’m afraid you haven't made much progress with quirk theories.

As much as I value you as a friend and conspiracy theorist, 

I believe Izuku outmatched out this time

manliestman

A+ for effort, Todobroki

EndeavorSux

Well Midoriya doesn’t know abt stendhal

Kero-sene

Neither do you

EndeavorSux

Just u wait

I’ll get my laptop and before you know it  i’ll know everything abt stain

Including whose secret love child he is

AcidTrip

And he's gone

Number1AllMightFan

Oh no I messed up big time

I didn't mean to make Todoroki upset

3D_Printer

I don't fret Midoriya

I've known him for years

Conspiracy theories are his coping mechanism

manliestman

Well it's super manly that Todoroki has a way to deal with stress

IidaTenya

On another note,

have you considered that Uraraka’s girlfriend could be a vigilante seeing how she admires one?

Feel_The_Noize

That would explain why she needs a knife collection

SparkySparkyBoomMan

Um excuse me?!

A knife collection?!!

eat the rich (except momo)

It's not that weird

Everyone has their hobbies

Premium_DuctTape

But not everyone's hobby is stabbing people

Number1AllMightFan

Well if the stabbing is too help people as a vigilante I don't think it's that wrong

IidaTenya

No absolutely not! I cannot endorse illegal activities

AcidTrip

not even piracy?

IidaTenya

Heavens no, I buy all my movies full price

eat the rich (except momo)

Some of us are broke and can't afford to do that, Iida

chasing my tail

Well you're not wrong

I've pirated more martial arts movies than I'd like to admit

Feel_The_Noize

same w me and albums

As much as I'd like to support the artists my wallet is in a pretty depressing state

3D_Printer

Then please tell me which albums you'd like darling and I'll get them for you

Feel_The_Noize

Momo u don't need to go out of your way to do things for me

3D_Printer

But I will

Because nothing brings me greater joy

now u see me

Aww you 2 are so cute 🥰

SparkySparkyBoomMan

Low-key relationship goals

IidaTenya

Pardon to everyone regarding my unsavory statement

I was not considering how everyone has a different economic standing

3D_Printer

That's alright. I forget too sometimes, Iida

eat the rich (except momo)

Don't worry we won't reenact the French revolution if you say sth in poor taste like that we should eat cake

3D_Printer

I'd only say that if I were providing the cake. I do love a good tea party.

EndeavorSux

Same

But only if you there aren't any tea kettles

SparkySparkyBoomMan

What's wrong with tea kettles?

revelry in the dark

great traumatic depths lurk within their shrill whistle 

3D_Printer

Uhh… let's move away from sensitive topics

EndeavorSux

Yes. Because I have new information that will blow Midoriya's silly quirk theories out of the water

Premium_DuctTape

Man, why are you so obsessed with being better than Midoriya 

AcidTrip

Oh I know why

Twilight ✨theory✨

Moi aussi

now u see me

Shoto has a crush!!!

DisneyPrincess

^^^

eat the rich (except momo)

YES I can see it

Feel_The_Noize

same here

3D_Printer

It doesn't seem unprecedented

AcidTrip

Well if everyone who is in a relationship agrees than it must be true

EndeavorSux

I don't have a crush

now u see me

but rivals to lovers!

manliestman

That's my favorite tag!

SparkySparkyBoomMan

And you have great taste my dude

AcidTrip

i'm more of an enemies to lovers kinda gal

Number1AllMightFan

What?! A crush no way ha ha

I bet Todoroki and I don't even have a rivalry

AcidTrip

Anyways speaking of the conspiracy rivalry I bet Shoto is back because he found sth out abt stendhal

EndeavorSux

Yes, he's Stain

SparkySparkyBoomMan

As in a spot of dirt?

Number1AllMightFan

No like the serial killer

IidaTenya

So Himiko must be a serial killer too then.

eat the rich (except momo)

SHE is NOT a serial killer

himiko was just homeless for a while

Because her parents kicked her out

She's not a bad person, okay?

AcidTrip

Oh Ochako

IidaTenya

I'm sorry for jumping to conclusions

eat the rich (except momo)

No it's okay

It's just himiko's parents probably kicked her out because of her quirk

Because of a "villain" quirk

so u can see why that topic is a little touchy

IidaTenya

still you have my sincerest apologies

eat the rich (except momo)

Thank you Iida

And I think that your vigilante theory might not be entirely off the mark 

AcidTrip

Ooh why is that?!!

eat the rich (except momo)

Umm Himiko talks about drugs a lot

And drug dealers

… in the area where she lives several drug rings and the like have been taken down

But I don't know whether that's causation or correlation

Kero-sene

Low-key there might be sth there

IidaTenya

Well as much as I appreciate my line of thought being endorsed we should call it a night so that we are all prepared for school tomorrow.

Kero-sene

In that case good night

SparkySparkyBoomMan

gn

manliestman

Sleep well

revelry in the dark

Embrace the darkness of night

now u see me

Don't let the bed bugs bite

manliestman

Good night!

AcidTrip

Oh I just realized sth

Twilight ✨theory✨

👀

AcidTrip

i forgot to add mineta

IidaTenya

It would be rude to exclude a classmate.

3D_Printer

Tenya, makes a fair point.

[GotAnyGrapes? has been added to the chat]

GotAnyGrapes?

*whistles*

why hello beautiful ladies

EndeavorSux

i am not a beautiful lady

Chapter Text

Logical Ruse Victims

GotAnyGrapes?

Beautiful lady?

Eww not you of course

I’m pretty sure if you were a lady you’d be a total uggo anyhow

W that nasty scar of yours

EndeavorSux

You’re right my left side is hideous

eat the rich (except momo)

No todoroki you’re pretty

I’m not even biased since I’m into girls

EndeavorSux

I don’t need you to try and spare my feelings Uraraka

The scar is ugly

Number1AllMightFan

No it isn’t Todoroki

If it means anything I think you’re scar is really cool

It shows how resilient you are

EndeavorSux

I don’t need your pity Midoriya

You already gave me enough of that when trying to humor my theories

GotAnyGrapes?

Exactly Midoriya is totally lying in your face todoroki

I bet if you were a girl you’d be as flat as a washboard

AcidTrip

What the FUCK Mineta?

Jealous much?

Todoroki is the most gorgeous guy in our class. Full stop!

Like have you seen those gorgeous heterochromatic eyes?

EndeavorSux

Ashido please I don’t need you’re pity too

The eyes and hair just make me look like a patchwork of my parents

Number1AllMightFan

Well your dad’s endeavor right?

You don’t look anything like him

Your features are less rough around the edges

and i bet you don’t look quite like your mom either

3D_Printer

I have in fact met Shoto’s parents

And can say with certainty that he is his own unique person with his own unique looks

EndeavorSux

Yaoyorozu…

GotAnyGrapes?

What does that even matter?

Ofc todoroki isn’t a beautiful lady

Anyone w eyes can see that

But yaoyorozu on the other hand

Damn. those curves are centerfold material

3D_Printer

Pardon??

GotAnyGrapes?

You heard me right. I bet those milk-white breasts feel real soft, huh?

IidaTenya

Such language is completely uncalled for!

How can you call yourself a student of UA?!

eat the rich (except momo)

Mineta you can’t just say those kinda things

Apologize to Momo

GotAnyGrapes?

What for? I only speak the truth

Are you sad i’m not complimenting you?

Tbh your face is kinda plain…

But your body is just the kind of thing I would want to hang on my wall

eat the rich (except momo)

What?!!

AcidTrip

Mineta stop being a perv or i’m going to melt you into nothing with my acid

GotAnyGrapes?

Oh, so you want to dominate me? Wouldn’t have taken you for that type

Your figure ain’t half bad either Ashido

But i’m not big into alien chicks

Unless you’ve got tentacles that is

AcidTrip

That’s none of your damn business grape boy!

GotAnyGrapes?

Don’t worry i won’t tell anyone

It’ll be our little secret

IidaTenya

How vulgar!! I urge you to stop at once

GotAnyGrapes?

Like i’d listen to someone who’s calves look like melons

No.1

CAN YOU SHUT THE HELL UP?

What is a dumbass fucker like you doing in the hero course?

GotAnyGrapes?

Getting the ladies of course ;)

No.1

Tch, congratulations extra you’ve won the award for stupidest motherfucker

You won’t last a day on patrol if you even manage to graduate UA

GotAnyGrapes?

Excuse me! I can guarantee that i’ll graduate

No.1

And i can guarantee you won’t 

Extras like you don’t deserve the light of day

I’m gonna fucking kill you if you don’t stop spamming the chat

GotAnyGrapes?

You wouldn’t

No.1

Don’t fucking test me

AcidTrip

Is Mineta gone?

3D_Printer

I think so

eat the rich (except momo)

Thanks for helping Bakugo

No.1

I didn’t do it for you. The fucker just wouldn’t shut up

AcidTrip

Awww aren’t you a big old softie

You woke up from your precious beauty sleep just to tell that perv off for us

No.1

Oh fuck off

AcidTrip

On another sorry about adding Mineta to the chat

EndeavorSux

It’s alright I understand wanting to include everyone

AcidTrip

Removing him rn 

we don’t need to hear his bs outside of class

3D_Printer

I fear doing that might be a catalyst for more hostility

AcidTrip

Hmm then I guess I’ll find a way to make this right 

AlienQueen

AlienQueen

hey ochako’s gf

TheCrayonSong🖍️

Who dis?

AlienQueen

Ashido

Ochako’s pink friend

TheCrayonSong🖍️

Ahh the cute one

Yes i remember you

Wassup?

AlienQueen

Uh i just wanted some help with knocking some sense into a certain classmate

TheCrayonSong🖍️

Oooooo sounds v interesting :3

Also how did u get my number?

like as much as i respect stalker tendencies

How?

AlienQueen

ahh 

ochako wanted help w changing her ringtone for u

Honestly she prolly should asked someone a little less trusting

TheCrayonSong🖍️

eh mayhaps

But since you’re in the know what did she change my ringtone to

AlienQueen

Wouldn’t you like to know?

TheCrayonSong🖍️

Pleasssseeee i beg of u

I’ll ever give you a shiny new knife if you tell me

AlienQueen

But i don’t want a knife

TheCrayonSong🖍️

Then i’ll only NOT give u a knife if you tell

AlienQueen

fine lol

U got me beat

the ringtone is taylor’s Red

TheCrayonSong🖍️

Ahhhhhhh

I didn’t think is was possible to love ochako even

But apparently it is

AlienQueen

so now that i’ve done you a little favor

Would u be down to wreck a classmate

With me?

TheCrayonSong🖍️

Why though?

I wouldn’t have taken you for someone w a major vendetta

AlienQueen

It’s just some grape perv has been obsessed w the girls in 1A

Like for the love of God dude won’t shut up abt Momo and Ochako’s boobs

and his diaper outfit ain’t doing him any favors

TheCrayonSong🖍️

…

AlienQueen

Himiko?

TheCrayonSong🖍️

So you’re telling me he’s been harassing Ochako?

AlienQueen

Yeah

TheCrayonSong🖍️
Well, you wouldn’t have even needed to tell me abt the ringtone to convince me to give him a piece of my mind

Ochie

Himi <3

Ochie, ashido just told me abt your pervy classmate

Ochie

Crap you weren’t supposed to find out

Himi <3

Huh? You weren’t planning on telling me?

Ochie

well i didn’t want to be a burden and you have enough of your own problems to deal with

Himi <3

Ochie why would you ever be a burden

I love you, I want to be there for you

Ochie

That doesn't change the fact that I'm a drain on resources

My parents love me too but that doesn't change the fact that I've costed them a pretty penny by having them raise me

Himi <3

Ochie I promise on my fav knife that you're rents don't see as a burden

When parents resent their kids there isn't any room for doubt 

They make it clear as day

Ochie

Sry himi

I prolly shouldn't be venting and stuff w my parents after what happened between you and your parents

Himi <3

Pah those dummies aren't my real parents anyhow

I picked much better ones

Ochie

Your roommate and his husband?

Himi <3

YEAH ✧◝(⁰▿⁰)◜✧

Ochie

I’m glad you found dads who see just how amazing you are 

Himi <3

Damn right

I deserve the world

And for the record I want to listen to you vent

I want you to trust me in that way 

Ochie

I don't deserve that

… Not when I've broken your trust

Himi<3

What do you mean?

Ochie

I've talked to my classmates some more abt you

And one of them deducted what your quirk is

Himi <3

Shit crap I'm sorry

I didn't mean to have such a creepy power

I promise I'll never use transform again

Pls just don't hate me for being a monster 

Ochie

Himiko you're not a monster

You didn't choose to have your quirk and it doesn't make you a bad person

Himi <3

Transform literally makes me capable of identity theft

WHAT about that makes me not a horrible person

Ochie

Well you can use your quirk to do good things, right?

Like being a vigilante mayhaps

Himi <3

I'm… not a vigilante

Ochie

Okay I'll give you plausible deniability himi

But I know for a fact you'd never hurt or at least never kill someone thanks to your quirk

Himi <3

Ha ha you definitely got that right 😬

But moving on to other topics who figured out my quirk?

Ochie

Midoriya

He's really smart and loves quirks

God you wouldn't believe how much he rambles

It's so cute

He pretty much pieced your quirk together based on the blood and transformation aspects alone

Sometimes I wonder whether people like me deserve to be at UA when I pale in comparison to Midoriya

Himi <3

Oh hush ochie

You passed that entrance exam fair and square and are more than worthy of being at that school

Ochie

Thanks himi 💗

Himi <3

Anytime 😊

Though the way you were rambling abt Midoriya makes me wonder if you were crushing on him (◕ᴗ◕✿)

Ochie

you know you're the only one I think abt like that, right?

Himi <3

I know but it's just nice to listen to you remind me (◡ ω ◡)

But maybe in another life where you weren't head over heels for me you'd be into me

Ochie

Yeah in another life

Imagine how embarrassing that would be though

Back when we first started chatting I kept accidentally floating toward the ceiling because I kept nervously pressing my fingers together

Himi <3

Omg ochie u are everything ❤️

Ochie

Himi stop 😂😭

I love you too 💗

Srsly though crushing on someone in my class would have been so embarrassing

Mina prolly would have bullied me so hard

Himi <3

Then it's a good thing we found each other before UA ;)

Ochie

I wouldn't have had it any other way 

Logical Ruse Victims

SparkySparkyBoomMan

Dang i can’t believe the chat’s been dead for so long

now u see me

What can I say? Mineta kind of killed the mood

manliestman

Yeah, what he did wasn’t manly at all. Let’s report him to Aizawa so he can get expelled

3D_Printer

I already conversed with Aizawa. Mineta’s father is on the board of directors which means Mineta is exempt from expulsion unless the school wants its robot funding pulled

No.1

No wonder that shitty extra made it in with his weird ass quirk!

AcidTrip

Mhm

But i guess aside from Mineta i’ve also been a bit worn out from battle trials

SparkySparkyBoomMan

damn those battle trials today we’re sth else

eat the rich (except momo)

Yeah i’m kaputt even days later

now u see me

same

the whole fake bomb shebang was leagues more difficult that quizzes back in middle school

3D_Printer

I suppose that means we’re all grown up now, huh?

Feel_The_Noize

All my muscles feel like jell-o now

manliestman

Mine would too if not for my quirk

3D_Printer

Perhaps we could get some ice cream to relax

I know an excellent gelato place

IidaTenya

What a fine idea for a class bonding activity

No.1

I ain’t got time for that activity

Time for a rematch, Deku!

Number1AllMightFan

but kacchan school is over

No.1

What you think you’re too good to fight me?

EndeavorSux

He is likely still recovering from what u did with your gauntlets

manliestman

Deadly force really wasn’t manly

Number1AllMightFan

It’s fine everyone

I bounced back just okay

eat the rich (except momo)

but what if you hadn’t?

U could have gotten srsly injured it’s no joke

No.1

So what?! Am i supposed to give less than my fucking best

Feel_The_Noize

For a low stakes school exercise yes

Number1AllMightFan

Everybody it’s okay

Kacchan we can have that rematch another day

No.1
So are you saying you’re too scared for a rematch because that win was a fluke?

ha i knew i should have won

Kero-sene

Bakugo you should get that inferiority complex addressed

No.1

What did you say you fucking extra?!

Kero-sene

You heard me. 

Not everyone thinks they’re better than you and is trying to sabotage you.

No.1

Are you trying to psychoanalyze me you fucker?

Feel_The_Noize

Well, if you don’t bother to self reflect someone has to do it for you

also don’t call tsu a fucker

Premium_DuctTape

yeah like sure her bluntness might be a bit rude

But bruh cussing her out is a little bit overboard

No.1

i can say whatever the fuck i want to that fuckface!

Ever heard of goddamn free speech?!

IidaTenya

Now that sort of language is simply uncalled for!

Kero-sene

Calm down everyone

I can take getting called a fuckface

Believe it or not my little brother is even more of a menace

besides we’ve cursed in this chat plenty before

No need to start police tame swearwords like “fuck”

3D_Printer

I suppose that makes sense

Kero-sene

Bakugo, it was one school activity

It does not mark who has more potential as a hero and who has less 

We’re all still learning

No.1

we’ll i’m supposed several fucking steps of you damn extras

I’m not some useless background character

Number1AllMightFan

You will be number one someday

one test isn’t everything

No.1

WON’T YOU JUST SHUT UP ALREADY

You don’t fucking understand, Deku

you don’t get what it means to be useless

Number1AllMightFan

You literally have been calling me useless for the last decade.

What do you mean i don’t understand

No.1

you have those shitty notebooks

you have that dumb smile everyone trusts

Heck now you even have a godlike quirk

i only have explosion nothing else

Twilight ✨theory✨

Monsieur Bakugo. You are un idiot

AcidTrip

couldn’t have said it better myself

Number1AllMightFan

Kacchan you have plenty going for you aside from your quirk

No.1

Liar

you only ever saw a cool new entry for your notebook in me

EndeavorSux

Bakugo. That’s bullshit.

No.1

Fuck you icyhot!

EndeavorSux

No thank you

No.1

What the fuck is wrong with you?!

EndeavorSux

Daddy issues

SparkySparkyBoomMan

damnn

EndeavorSux

Anyways moving on

I have a new theory…

Twilight ✨theory✨

Ooh please share

EndeavorSux

bakugo you are delusional

Sure midoriya is walking around stomping on precious vampire theories and waving his fancy notebooks in everyone’s faces

but he’s not a liar

No.1

but back then Deku looked down on me when i fell in the river!

Number1AllMightFan

The river?! The RIVER?!!

THAT is why you made years of my life a living hell?

Kacchan i wasn’t looking down on you

… well in a literal sense bc you had fallen down but not in a figurative one

I wasn’t thinking that you couldn’t get up by yourself

I wanted to show you that i’m there for you as a friend

No.1

shit

Deku

Izuku

I’m

arghhh

eat the rich (except momo)

So that was… a lot

3D_Printer

Maybe i would be for the best to set the ice cream trip aside

And instead help Bakugo and Midoriya set up appointments with hound dog to address the situation

No.1

i don’t need a fucking shrink

Kero-sene

Clearly you aren’t handling the situation very well on your own

No.1

Fine, i’ll do if gets me closer to being better

To being number one

Number1AllMightFan

See Kacchan that’s what i mean by you having more than just explosion

You’ve got ambition

You’ve been deadset on your goal since day 1

and i admire that

No.1

Whatever rows your boat, nerd

ZeroGravityFreeZone

[eat the rich (except momo) was added to the chat]

[Number1AllMightFan was added to the chat]

AcidTrip

and with that we have 2 new members added to the private chat

eat the rich (except momo)

Hang on u made a chat without me?
Mina!!

now u see me

we just needed a place to talk abt your gf behind your back

And now we can use it to talk behind bakugo’s back instead

eat the rich (except momo)

Unbelievable!

3D_Printer

Would a box of macaroons persuade you to forgive us?

eat the rich (except momo)

bribes really? What makes u think that will work

Kero-sene

Because food is delicious

eat the rich

Well you’re not wrong

Get me mochi instead of macaroons and all will be forgiven

now u see me

Yayyy! Ty ochako we’ll never let u down again

Twilight ✨theory✨

Mes amis we should address the bigger issue at hand

Midoriya and Bakugo

EndeavorSux

Do we have to?

I already have to deal with Midoriya shoving his theories in my face

3D_Printer

Shoto be polite

You know what it’s like not to have others not listen about the person who hurt you

EndeavorSux

Alright

I suppose we can unpack Midoriya’s mess of a relationship with Bakugo

Number1AllMightFan

No you don’t have to do that!! I swear that everything’s fine

Feel_The_Noize

No, it isn’t. You’re a horrible liar

now u see me

Damn right, now spill Izuku

Why did Bakugo can you useless?

Do we need to give him a piece of our minds?

Number1AllMightFan

No i’m fine everything’s fine

Bakugo and i are best buddies

The best of childhood friends

AcidTrip

bruh you literally yelled at him in that

Obviously you have beef with him for a good reason

Number1AllMightFan

It’s not his fault he’s the way he is the way he is, okay?

AcidTrip

So what? He’s accidentally an asshole

Number1AllMightFan

no it’s just he always had the perfect quirk

Everyone praised him 4 that and nothing else

The teachers let him do whatever he wanted
But it’s not entirely his fault he picked on weaker kids

No one told him it was wrong

He didn’t know better

eat the rich (except momo)

That doesn’t give him a right to call you useless

Number1AllMightFan

But he wasn’t even wrong

Twilight ✨theory✨

But mon ami you are far from useless

Your quirk is tres magnifique

Number1AllMightFan

yep my quirk is

eat the rich (except momo)

Are you trying to imply that you aren’t? Midoriya you saved me from getting crushed by a giant robot. You are more than just your quirk

now u see me

Besides, isn’t that also what you told bakugo?

Number1AllMightFan

I guess but my case is a little different

i was a late bloomer

the entrance exam was the 1st time my quirk kicked in

AcidTrip

Oh shit

Number1AllMightFan

yeah 

the world isn’t exactly kind to the quirkless

AcidTrip

Crap midoriya i’m so sorry

Number1AllMightFan

For what? You’re not in control of my dna

AvidTrip

Then i’m going to beat bakugo’s ass! Being quirkist isn’t okay

Number1AllMightFan

Please don’t

Violence isn’t the answer

Kero-sene

Midoriya we’re at a hero school

Violence is always the answer

Number1AllMightFan

No you don’t have to

I have a quirk now

Things are different

Feel_The_Noize

He still calls you Deku

Number1AllMightFan

What can i say? Old habits die hard

EndeavorSux

Bakugo is Endeavor

eat the rich (except momo)

Huh? Nice analogy shoto?

Sry i don’t know what you’re going for

Twilight ✨theory✨

ooO i believe Shoto is insulting bakugo in a roundabout way

bc he wants to be the number 1 hero and Shoto’s calling him the number 2 hero

AcidTrip

Woah! Good burn mad respect

now u see me

Mina, don’t say good burn to Todoroki

It’s disrespectful to his scar

AcidTrip

Whoops sorry todoroki

EndeavorSux

No worries. I don’t quite understand what you meant anyways

3D_Printer

It was slang, Shoto. We can look through urban dictionary together later

It is a resource i consult frequently to comprehend colloquialisms used by more common folk

EndeavorSux

Oh okay.

Thank you Yaoyorozu.

Anyways, I meant that Bakugo was Endeavor in the sense that he wants nothing but power and that he’ll do anything to get it. Even if it burns people along the way

Number1AllMightFan

Kacchan didn’t give me any burn scars tho

Feel_The_Noize

But he clearly gave you emotional scars

EndeavorSux

Agreed and just like endeavor bakugo deserves to have all his ambitions torn away from him

AcidTrip

Hell yeah!! Let’s get high on weed again and wreck his house too

Number1AllMightFan

No, I don’t want Bakugo to be punished like that for what he did

eat the rich (except momo)

Well, we can get payback a different way. I’m open to suggestions

Number1AllMightFan

No i don’t want payback at all

EndeavorSux

But why? How could you possibly move on from what he did

Number1AllMightFan

maybe kacchan doesn’t deserve my forgiveness

but i dunno i’m just tired of the cycle hatred continuing

If i tried to get my comeuppance maybe i could even get him booted out of UA

It wouldn’t be worth it

Bakugo would become a prime candidate for villainy and the people he could have saved as a hero wouldn’t get rescued
I don’t want that on my conscience

eat the rich (except momo)

But it wouldn’t be your fault - it’d be his

Number1AllMightFan

I mean logically i know that

But yk an eye for an eye makes the world go blind

EndeavorSux