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The blast from the Super Cost Mart’s powerful air conditioning hit them like a wave of pure relief as they stepped though the automatic doors, F.F. having to be dragged through by her friends when she had begun backing away from the opening and closing doors and back towards the sweltering heat.
“See, you’re fine.” Hermes’ reassurance fell on deaf ears as F.F. stared nervously at the doors that shut with all the quickness of a geriatric snail. She sighed and turned to Jolyne when she returned with a cart, eager to get the trip over with but less eager to go back out into the broiling heat. “What’s the first thing?”
Jolyne jerked her head up sharply looking panic-stricken. “You had the list,” she declared sounding all but positive.
“But I gave it to you before we got in the car,” Hermes defended. She was already patting herself down to check, turning out her pockets and even slipping out of her shoes to see if it had somehow wedged itself in one of them. “Well, shit. Guess we’ll have to do this the hard way.”
“There wasn’t that much on it so- oh crap!” Jolyne exclaimed whipping her head around the entrance. “Where’s F.F.?”
Hermes joined in the search to little avail. The store’s entrance had surprisingly little foot traffic to obscure their friend and it was unlikely that she had gone out the doors that had so frightened her only moments ago. It was much more likely that something had caught her attention and she’d run off to examine it, the world outside of Green Dolphin still new and exciting. Both Hermes and Jolyne had quickly become accustomed to it, F.F. running off and usually returning to them with the mysterious object in hand; it had been hell explaining everything in their apartment to her that first day they moved in together.
Jolyne groaned and rubbed her brow. “Let’s just get to shopping. It’s going to take us long enough to get everything without the list.” She kicked the bottom of the cart and tipped it onto its back wheels and aimed it towards a random aisle before setting it back down. “It isn’t like she won’t find us again.”
Hermes nodded her agreement and moved to follow after Jolyne. She didn’t even make it a step before their names were being shouted across the store and excited footfalls were headed their way. As expected, F.F. had found them.
“Guys look at this!” F.F. chirped with uncontained joy, brandishing a bottle of water their way.
“That’s just water, F.F.,” Hermes stated not understanding the fascination.
“I know isn’t it great? They sell it here,” she told them in a way that suggested neither of them knew. “Can we get some?”
Jolyne nudged the cart towards the aisle determined to let Hermes handle it this time.
“We have water at home,” Hermes told her.
“Yeah but this is bottled,” F.F. reasoned unsuccessfully.
“Put it back,” Hermes replied. When F.F. opened her mouth to argue Hermes just repeated the command with more authority. With a frown that more closely resembled a pout F.F. relented and trotted off to wherever she had found the bottle.
It didn’t come as a surprise that when Hermes found Jolyne, she was stuffing one corner of their cart full of instant ramen. The bottom of the cart was already lined with different canned goods: corn, beans, stovetop pasta, and soup only made up a portion of their horde.
“You get to tell our daughter ‘no’ next time,” Hermes joked leaning on the cart and examining a can of beets that she hoped were more appetizing in person than they were on the label.
“Hey at least she hasn’t asked for a puppy,” Jolyne laughed and held up two different packages of dried noodles. “You want shrimp or chili flavor?”
“Doesn’t matter to me,” Hermes sighed and looked up. Her eyes narrowed at the end of the aisle, swearing she saw a haze of pink disappear behind the rack of pork rinds in “New Dill Flavor”. If the flavor didn’t make her shudder than their putrid green color did. “Why don’t we get some real food?”
Jolyne looked torn between the packages in hand, shrugged, and tossed them both on her pile. The little mountain she’d made trembled and collapsed onto the cans.
“Like either of us have time to make anything,” she reminded trying to restack the toppled ramen. “When finals are over I’ll make something for us. I’ll borrow one of Papa’s recipes, okay?” She promised as she continued to struggle with the unruly noodles.
Hermes smiled and bent to help her stack up the packages, the call of her and Jolyne’s names stopping her mid-stoop. It was F.F. again, and this time she was rushing over with a handful of small orange fruits. She noticed that F.F. also had about three water bottle under each arm.
“Your turn, Jojo,” Hermes teased and went to fixing the ramen, discreetly slipping several packs back on the shelf to save them from sodium poisoning later.
“Jolyne, what are these?” F.F. asked with a child’s eagerness as she lifted the fruits for Jolyne to look at.
“Those are kumquats.” F.F.’s brow only furrowed in confusion. “They’re like…tiny oranges. Anyway, what’s with all the water?”
The distraction worked and F.F. wiggled her arms around to get hold of the bottles under her left arm by the caps. These too she thrust up unnecessarily for Jolyne to better see.
“Why are there all these different kinds of water? Water’s water right?” Hermes heard F.F. ask as she started to push the cart down the aisle, trying to remember what she had written on the list besides ‘juice’, and even that she wasn’t sure of.
Strings wrapped themselves around Hermes wrist, Jolyne’s preferred method of stopping the cart when she had something to add, and she turned to find the woman rushing over with all six bottles of water.
“What the hell?!” Hermes asked in complete disbelief when Jolyne dumped the bottles in, careful not to crush her precious ramen.
“F.F. just looked so sad,” she defended, “and when I told her they have slightly different tastes she got really excited and well…” She gave Hermes a guilty smile before settling her hands on the cart. “Here, I’ll push so you don’t have to,” she offered as if that would make up for the six large bottles in their cart.
Hermes gently nudged Jolyne’s shoulder and settled her hand on the opposite side of the handle, slipping her free hand into Jolyne’s and giving it an affectionate squeeze.
“We both will,” she corrected with a grin.
Little moments like this were hard to come by these days. With Jolyne finishing up the quarter at school and Hermes studying up to start her own next year, that and F.F.’s endless interruptions, it was hard to get a few minutes together. It was just a shame something always had to come along and disrupt those few seconds of bliss.
As the pair rounded the corner to the frozen food section, their cart smashed loudly into another couple’s. When Jolye began to apologize she realized it was probably the worst couple to have rammed into. Looking as unsociable as ever stood her father, Kakyoin firmly at his side.
“We didn’t hurt anything in your cart did we, Jolyne?” Her Papa asked while her father criticized her groceries with nothing more than a harsh stare.
It was true, her cart was stuffed with heavily salted, canned and prepackaged junk food. But he didn’t need to act so high and mighty just because his cart was full of fresh produce, nice lean cuts of meat, fresh bags of pasta and… she looked on in horror at the little box standing proudly atop the rest of his goods.
“No it all looks good,” Hermes assured with a wave of the hand. “Jolyne, you okay?” Hermes’ gaze must have followed hers because a moment later she could hear the woman trying to hold back laughter.
It was a miracle when F.F. ran up this time, her jovial yell cutting through the awkward air like a knife. This time she had managed to find a five gallon jug of water and was hauling it towards the cart.
“Why’s this one so big?” F.F. asked after a quick hello to Jotaro and Kakyoin.
“It’s to stock up,” Hermes explained still biting her lip to stifle her laughter. “Some people like to have a lot on hand.”
F.F. nodded her understanding and shifted the water in her arms. She glanced down and started taking in everything in the men’s cart. Unfortunately, the one thing she didn’t recognize was the one that had sent a wild blush over Jolyne’s cheeks.
“It says ‘Magnum’. Like the gun? Is there a gun in that box?” F.F. inquired innocently.
“They’re condoms,” Jotaro replied without hesitation.
“What’re those?” F.F. pressed only more confused.
Jolyne groaned and covered her rapidly heating face wanting to disappear. He was going to explain, she knew he was.
Right on cue Jotaro began, “They’re for-”
“We really should finish shopping!” Kakyoin pressed loudly, grabbing Jotaro’s arm, embarrassed for their daughter. “It was nice seeing you girls.” For a much smaller man, it was impressive that he could drag Jotaro along like that.
“So what are-” F.F. began again.
Hermes finally let out the laughter she had been holding in. “We’ll tell you when you’re older. Now put that water back.”
The rest of the shopping trip was mercifully less hectic, though they had spotted Anasui lurking behind display racks several times and at one point F.F. had run over holding a woman’s wig to ask what it was for; they had heard the screaming from the victim seconds later and Hermes had thrown the hair piece as hard as she could over several aisles. After the incident they had had enough and rushed their cart to the checkout line.
As they waited in line the store’s loudspeakers rang out, “Clean up in seafood! I repeat, clean in to seafood!”
Jolyne and Hermes exchanged nervous looks. Their fears were confirmed not even a second later when Jotaro appeared, seemingly from nowhere, holding F.F by the back of her overalls as she dripped from head to toe.
“Does this belong to you?” Jotaro asked humorlessly as he set her down.
“The tank was full of salt water,” she explained with a sheepish grin.
“What tank-” Hermes started to ask but was interrupted by a scream from the back of the market.
“Oh god! The lobsters! Someone set all the lobsters loose!” Shouted a worker, presumably.
“Dad,” Jolyne began but found the man already gone. She got the sinking suspicion that she wasn’t the only one guilty of abusing her stand for frivolities, though she only ever did it to nab a few things out of someone else’s cart when she couldn’t find them otherwise.
“Let’s just get out of here,” Hermes urged when more shouts rose from the back of the store.
F.F. had disappeared again by the time their groceries were paid for and both Jolyne and Hermes waited with their cart full of plastic bags knowing that their friend probably wouldn’t get out through the automatic doors by herself. The wig was nothing compared to what F.F. returned to them with.
“F.F. where did you get that?” Jolyne asked pointing at the tiny black and white puppy that F.F. was holding up to them like an offering.
“Near the bananas,” she answered, “he was on this long black cord.”
“Oh crap- Jolyne get F.F. to the car!” Hermes urged looking back and forth for the owner.
Jolyne didn’t need to be told a second time and was running out of the store with F.F. and the puppy dragging behind her. Hermes set all of her weight into the cart and barreled after them praying that the employees were still concerned with the lobsters instead of the dognapping. When she found the car Jolyne was firmly lecturing F.F. for her criminal behavior.
“You can’t just take things like that. He clearly belonged to someone and you just stole him,” Jolyne scolded.
“But he likes me,” F.F. countered as the little dog licked at her face. “See?”
“That isn’t the point,” Jolyne sighed.
F.F. continued, “I’m going to call him Pop. Cute right?”
“F.F.…” Jolyne rubbed her face in anguish.
“It’s too late now,” Hermes stated closing the trunk over their groceries. “Let’s just get home before the cops get called or something.”
“Jolyne!” They froze at the sound of Kakyoin’s voice. He ran over, Jotaro trailing behind with one arm carrying more grocery bags in one arm than they had in their trunk.
“Papa?” Jolyne began casting a worried look at the puppy as the redhead reached her. “Is everything ok?”
He offered a piece of plastic to her. “You dropped this,” he explained as she gratefully took her license. “I thought about taking it to you later but didn’t know if you drove or Hermes- why do you have a puppy?”
“Uh, well,” Jolyne stammered, “F.F. kind of saw it and grabbed it and so now we have a dog.”
“His name’s Pop,” F.F. added petting the little dog.
“You stole a dog?” Jotaro glowered. “That isn’t the kind of behavior you should encourage, Jolyne. I don’t want you getting into trouble with the authorities-”
A wet thump cut his lecture short when a lobster fell out from his coat and hit the asphalt below, the mystery of their liberator instantly solved; Jotaro was gone before any of them had time to blink.
“Try to keep the errant behavior to a minimum, won’t you girls?” Kakyoin chuckled and scratched the puppy behind the ear. “We should introduce Pop to Polnareff.”
“Aren’t you worried that he’ll leave you?” Hermes asked still looking around for Jotaro.
The grin Kakyoin gave was positively wicked. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of car keys adorned with dolphin and cherry keychains. “He isn’t going anywhere,” he answered and pulled away. “Have a good evening girls.”