Work Text:
Dear Bradley,
When you came into this world you cried, and it broke my heart. I remember when your dad let me hold you for the first time and I fell apart. I just knew I was going to do everything in my power to make you happy. For a short period of time I thought I failed you when I got the news of your parents' accident. It took a long time for me to heal and come to terms that what happened to your parents was unfortunate, but if I could change or turn back time it would have been me in that car, not them. I know you're upset with me for what I've done but I will not apologize for doing what I always promised to do. Which is to Love, and protect you, No matter what,,
Ice found the crumpled paper in the waste bin to the side of his desk. Pulling it out of the trash and unfolding he recognized the scribbly writing that was his husband’s and took note of the tear stains covering the paper.
Sighing quietly as he reads the unfinished letter Pete attempted to write, when he was done he had tears forming and his throat felt a little tight. The wounds of Bradley leaving were still rather fresh, and Pete has been struggling to do anything except laying in bed. Tom stayed strong for his husband as much as he could, but the pain of losing Bradley, who he considered his own, hurt more than he could fathom.
Getting up from his office chair and folding the old letter neatly this time, he puts it in his pocket and quietly walks down the hall of the house that felt a little too big without Bradley’s keyboard being played, or his shoes being left on the stairs. He once would grumble about the mess but now he misses it, the quiet felt too loud. No more of his son’s guffaw laughter, or humming around the house, no more records being played in the kitchen, and no more of Brad shyly apologizing for leaving his shoes on the stairs.
The hallway felt like an eternity, pictures of their little family scattered, Birthdays, beach trips, first time to Disney World, professional photos, Christmas sweaters, and Bradley’s graduation.
Tom finally stops at the bedroom down the hall, it hasn't been touched since there was a slam that shook the house and Bradley was gone. Slowly opening the door, that creaked ever so slightly, looking around the room it had the drawers pulled open, and the bed was unmade, and there were unused music sheets all over the floor. With a forlorn sigh, Tom pushes the drawers back in place, and pulls the edge of the tossed comforter back to the pillows neatly, kneeling down to pick up the sheet music, he notices one of the framed pictures Bradley had on his desk was cracked on the floor. Picking it up, being mindful of the glass, he comes to realize it was a picture of the three of them after Bradley lost his first little league game and they went to ice cream afterwards to cheer him up.
Putting the picture frame down next to him, and taking out the unfinished letter, unfolding it and putting it down next to the picture. Looking around the room Ice felt at a loss of words, his only son is gone but still alive. His husband is in a state of depression that he can’t seem to fix. Picking up everything and moving to the Keyboard on Bradley’s desk, he looks at the colored coded keys and sits down in front of it. His eyes water and he bites his lip to prevent himself from breaking down. He breathes in a shaky breath and plays a few keys slowly, before stopping and rereading the letter.
Looking at the letter then back to the empty music sheets, Tom grabs one of the pens pensively and begins to write. Playing a few keys and mumbling to himself before writing something down, scribbling a word out and rewriting it.
What Ice doesn’t know is that hearing the keys being played had brought Pete out of their shared room for the first time in two days. His hair was greasy and unruly and he’s wrapped himself up in the comforter from their bed, and his eyes were red and puffy from the tears. He looked dazedly into the room that used to be Bradley's, seeing his husband playing the keys quietly and mumbling. He took notice of the empty music sheets, and some with Ice’s small cursive writing on them and a few of them scratched out.
Pete softly smiles and leaves his husband to write before heading to the stairs and gets something from the kitchen to snack on while he makes them tea.
Tom is sitting on the stool in front of a microphone with Slider, his best friend of years, next to him in front of another microphone. They nod at each other before putting on their headphones, and the opening chords of the piano play to ‘Dear Bradley’.
“Dear Bradley, what to say to you?”
Ice takes a small breath to prevent his voice from shaking, “When you came into the world you cried, and it broke my heart.” referring to the line from Pete’s letter.
Tom never did think he’d ever have kids coming from a broken family as a gay kid who hit the limelight young. He’s seen what happened to his old friend, Bill who everyone knew as Cougar, who left after one too many fans and paparazzi threatened his family. And he even saw its side effects in Mav, his own husband, after his own parent’s passing. “Domestic life was never quite my style,” He closes his eyes and he sees his kid, young with curly hair and a missing tooth, grinning widely with melted ice cream all over his face, the picture of the lost little league game. “When you smile, you knock me out, I fall apart. And I thought I was so smart.” Tom smiles to himself.
Tom remembers the Christmas they bought Bradley his first keyboard, the look he had could light up the entire tree standing in their living room. “If we lay a strong enough foundation, we’ll pass it on to you, we’ll give the world to you. And you’ll blow us all away.”
Tom looks away from the microphone and over to Ron who nods slightly, “Bradley when you smile I am undone, my son.” When writing he looked at the pictures of Mav and Goose in the hospital with a tiny baby boy grinning like they won the lottery. Inspired by what it must have felt like for not only Pete but also Nick and Carole, Bradley’s birth parents. “Pride is not the word I’m looking for, there is so much more inside me now.” Slider who is smiling and kind of laughs to himself no doubt remembering his own days of spending time with Bradley when Him and Pete were too busy, “When you smile, I fall apart,” Ron looks over at Tom and grins, “And I thought I was so smart.”
They both face the microphones again, before Slider starts back up again, “My father wasn’t around” and Tom follows, “My father wasn’t around.” It wasn’t subtle that Ice’s Father was an abusive shit and Mav’s Dad, Duke, notoriously passed from an overdose. “I swear that I’ll be around for you.” They both sang in harmony. Ron leads again, “I’ll do whatever it takes.” Tom swallows, “I’ll make a million mistakes.”
When Bradley told them that he wanted to go into music they had pride in their eyes, He has always been musically gifted. However Pete worried that after Nick and Carole’s accident the spotlight might be too much for Bradley to handle, and once he explained his own struggles after his own parents passing did Tom understand where he was coming from. Not wanting the same, they agreed that Bradley could make music as long as he used a stage name and hid his face if he was performing live. It seemed fair, and he agreed, thus Rooster was born.
Singing the rest of the short song together, Tom and Slider both looked more than a little solemn. “I’ll make the world safe and sound for you.” Ice closes his eyes again to steady himself, “We’ll bleed and fight for you, we’ll make it right for you.”
Ron placed his hand on Ice’s shoulder and squeezed comfortingly, not realizing they both had started to cry, “Yeah, you’ll blow us all away. Someday, someday,”
Once the music faded out, the two took off their headphones and brought each other to a tight hug. Slider has always been a stoic guy, hardly ever saw him cry up until the funeral of Nick and Carole, but he was strong for Tom and Pete after Bradley left. Feeling his friend shake and finally break, Ice realized that his friend lost his nephew, and the last thing he had as a reminder of Nick and Carole.
When they pull away and wipe their faces clean of any stray tears, they go to leave the recording booth and take lunch. Ron reaches for the door when Tom loses his breath and turns away to cover his mouth during his sudden coughing fit. “Woah, Buddy are you alright?” Tom takes another shaky breath and nods holding a thumbs up, “Yeah,” he says hoarsely. “Is it-” “No, I am all good Sli, honest, scouts honor.” Tom clears his throat and proceeds out the door, “Now we’re gonna get lunch and you’re buying.” Slider laughs and follows his friend only for the thought that Ice was never in Boy scouts..