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“Gege!” Xie Lian heard Hua Cheng purr as he wrapped his arms around his waist from behind. Xie Lian immediately melted at the contact and leaned back into his beloved’s embrace, his eyes blissfully closed. “Were you enjoying your armory?”
“Our armory,” He gently corrected. “And yes, I was. Are you busy with the city? Would you care to join me as I polish a few sabers?”
“Thankfully, the pesky mites don’t need my input so I was busy with other things.” Hua Cheng hugged Xie Lian tighter and let out a happy hum. “If I join you, will we truly be focused on polishing swords?”
“D-don’t call your citizens mites.” Xie Lian stammered, side stepping Hua Cheng’s clear desire for sex. They had gone all night and Xie Lian knew if they started again they wouldn’t stop until tomorrow. “What were you busy with?” As he asked that question, something tickled his cheeks and he could feel Hua Cheng’s chest rumbling with amusement. Xie Lian finally opened his eyes again and tried to turn in Hua Cheng’s arms so he could see what was giving his husband so much glee. However, Hua Cheng pinned him tight against his chest.
“I was playing with my skins and I found something fun. I feel wiser, Gege!” Xie Lian squirmed as the tickling continued.
“San Lang, let me see then.” He laughed, finally managing to turn and see his husband. “You know I enjoy your disguises–”
“Do you like what you see, Gege?” Hua Cheng said, his voice was very proud but Xie Lian was stunned by the long thin mustache that hung from his handsome face. He blinked a few times and saw that the ends were playfully twirling around his cheeks as if they had a mind of their own.
“You…have a mustache.”
“I do.” Hua Cheng said with a huge smile. “Does my husband like what he sees?” He teased, the ends of his mustache danced up and began to playfully flip a few strands of Xie Lian’s hair.
“I–You–San Lang, knock that off!” He huffed with a shake of his head. The mustache moved back and the strands held themselves up as if they were surrendering. “When did you grow a mustache?”
“Gege, I can grow anything!” Hua Cheng seemed to be having too much fun with this but Xie Lian really couldn’t stop staring at the dancing hair. “Watch this.”
Hua Cheng tilted his head and the mustache reached out and wrapped around the hilt of a dagger and began to twirl it. Hua Cheng cheerfully whistled and winked at Xie Lian as the strands tossed the dagger back and forth between each other. Xie Lian found himself wishing that the dagger would slip and slice off the hair but his wonderful husband was always so talented so there was no chance of that happening.
“Hmm? My husband is enraptured by the pure handsomeness of such skillful facial hair!”
“San Lang, you know I love you, right?”
“I love you too, my beloved–”
“Cut that off…please.”
The two stared at each other for a moment. A smile frozen on Hua Cheng’s face and Xie Lian refusing to turn his stern face away. Hua Cheng took a step backward but Xie Lian took a step forward. Seeing that Xie Lian wasn’t relenting, Hua Cheng cleared his throat.
“I have a strange feeling that you don’t appreciate this new appearance.” The mustache stroked Hua Cheng’s chin for him and Xie Lian’s frown deepened.
“Why are you doing this to me, San Lang?” Xie Lian sighed, dropping his face into his hands. Hua Cheng threw himself back into a boisterous laughter. His mustache danced around in delight.
“I don’t mean to do anything to you, Gege. It’s just hair.”
“Right. It’s just hair, so you’ll make it disappear, yes?”
“Hmm. Should I?”
“Come here so I can take it off.”
“Your brute strength makes me see stars, Gege, but I’m afraid it would hurt if you tore it off with your bare hands.” Hua Cheng said as if he hadn’t faced worse pains in his eight hundred years of life. Suddenly, he spun on his heels and quickly walked towards the door. His mustache waved a farewell to a shocked Xie Lian. “I’ll think on this for an evening.”
“Wha–San Lang! Get back here this instant.” Xie Lian yelled, springing into action and racing after him. Hua Cheng glanced over his shoulder and burst into laughter before running as fast as he could. Xie Lian was hot on his heels. He wasn’t letting his husband get away from him. “You can’t just run around like that!”
“I’m not indecent!” The two dashed into a new room and just as Xie Lian was about to grab the back of his robes, Hua Cheng shifted. His form became furry and smaller and he sprang behind one of the chairs. Xie Lian slowed to a stop and waited to see what he had become. A fluffy fox tail wiggled from behind the furniture. Sighing, Xie Lian’s hand shot out and snatched the tail. He felt bad when he heard the squeak that escaped his husband but at least he didn’t have that obnoxious mustache anymore.
However, Xie Lian’s thoughts came too soon because Hua Cheng swung his fox head around and revealed the long mustache still attached to his fuzzy face. Xie Lian nearly dropped him in disbelief. Why was Hua Cheng being so stubborn about this? He moved to grab the mustache but the mustache hastily wrapped around Xie Lian’s wrist.
“Woah! Woah! Gege, let’s think about this, yeah?” Hua Cheng tried to squirm from his grasp but Xie Lian’s grip was unrelenting.
“San Lang, certain pain is temporary and, sometimes, temporary pain is necessary to make life manageable. Let’s get this done and then we can have lunch and wind down for the day.”
“You’re too serious about the mustache, my dear! Do you really hate it that much?” Hua Cheng playfully whined, swaying back and forth.
“I never hate anything you do, San Lang. This is just…we don’t need to have this disguise in your inventory of disguises, okay?”
“Okay, Gege. I understand but please don’t rip off my facial hair. I’ll take care of it.” Xie Lian’s eyes narrowed but Hua Cheng held his mournful expression and his mustache pathetically drooped. Letting out a sigh of defeat, Xie Lian gently placed him down. Hua Cheng remained listless and Xie Lian nudged him with his boot.
“San Lang. Let’s go. Get rid of it.” San Lang’s little fox body let out an anguished squeak but he rose to his paws. Before Xie Lian could scold him again, Hua Cheng suddenly balanced on to his front paws, performing a very adorable handstand. Xie Lian almost smiled but any amusement was wiped from his face when the strands of his mustache reached down past his paws and pushed his whole body into the air. Whatever a mustache handstand was called–mustachestand?–Hua Cheng was now doing it. He began doing little push ups on his mustache.
“Look, Gege, no paws!” Hua Cheng barely finished giggling before he broke out in a sprint from his furious partner. Xie Lian didn’t even know how he managed to move the mustache like it were his legs but the strands were pumping with all their might. Xie Lian chased him around a table and as they left the room, he snatched a knife off the table. If he could get one clean swipe then he could get that damned mustache off.
The two sped down the hallways, running past Yin Yu who had to do a double take at the fox being carried by a mustache and a red-faced Xie Lian violently swinging a knife around. Crazier things have happened in this manor but this was still a sight to see. Being the diligent worker that he was, Yin Yu rolled his shoulders and carried on with whatever task he was carrying out. This unfortunately left Xie Lian to handle his trickster of a husband on his own.
At some point in the chase, they took a few turns and wound up in their private chambers. Backed in a corner, Hua Cheng did the only sensible option for himself and that was to scale the walls. His pesky mustache grappled with anything it could to propel him higher in the room. Xie Lian was too much of a determined god to let this go. He tossed his weapons aside and sprinted for the fox and his long mustache. In one confident jump he managed to make the height needed to slam Hua Cheng down from the wall. The two tumbled to the floor and Hua Cheng frantically switched back into his original form.
“Gak! Gege, no!” Xie Lian wrestled Hua Cheng down and pinned his upper body to the floor. His mustache was desperately batting his arms. “Have mercy on your most faithful follower!” Hua Cheng choked out. That was just enough to make Xie Lian pause. Hua Cheng’s pitiful, pleading expression made him relent. With a sigh, Xie Lian released him and stood up.
Hua Cheng scrambled to his feet and bowed at the waist. With his mustache touching the floor he began to sing Xie Lian’s praises. “Gege, you’re an understanding, loving, compassionate, merciful–!”
“Stop it, San Lang.” Xie Lian grumbled with an annoyed wave of his hand. Hua Cheng peeked up. His face taken up with a mischievous smile. Xie Lian couldn’t help but grin at the fang poking out from his lips. Still bowed over, Hua Cheng rocked forward and gently headbutted Xie Lian’s middle. Xie Lian finally laughed and took Hua Cheng into his arms. “Honestly San Lang, what has gotten into you? My goodness!”
“What’s gotten into me? What’s gotten into you ?” Hua Cheng guffawed, giving Xie Lian a peck on the cheek. “You nearly snapped my neck, Gege! And here I thought you’d appreciate a more mature look from me.”
Xie Lian sighed and nodded. Turning so that he could rest his head on Hua Cheng’s chest. “I appreciate all your looks, San Lang! I’m sorry for expressing otherwise.”
“‘Expressing’ is a softer way of saying ‘tearing hair off my face’.” Hua Cheng hummed.
“I do think you look very mature, my dear San Lang.” Xie Lian relented. Hua Cheng let out a proud sound and his mustache began to confidently pat Xie Lian’s cheeks. This was grantedly not mature but it really filled Xie Lian with love. “This new look just reminds me of my guoshi, is all.” And just like that, Hua Cheng’s mustache began to shrivel.
“Ah.”
“I just need time to get that image out of my head if you insist on bringing this mustache to our more…intimate moments.”
“Gege.”
“Hmm?” Xie Lian looked up to find a clean faced Hua Cheng solemnly staring back.
“The mustache is gone.” Xie Lian let out a laugh and pulled him down for a kiss.