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“Friends are fucking hard to come by,” she said, twisting her blue hair around her pointer and middle fingers. “I mean, we have a few, but none like you bitches.” She wasn’t even looking in my direction as she spoke.
The girl on stage played acoustic guitar while she sang a John Lennon cover. Her purple dreadlocks dangled in her face while she performed. I think I met her when she opened for Alex once before but couldn’t remember her name. Maybe it was Lucy; maybe not.
Responding to Chloe, I shook my head. I was almost to the point of frustration but not quite. It didn’t matter that she called us ‘bitches’, that part was actually funny. I’m just still confused by everything that happened last year.
“That’s not exactly what I asked you, Chloe.” I kicked the metal stool she was sitting on, causing it to swivel around. She caught herself on the edge of the table so she wouldn’t fall over. I certainly didn’t mean any real harm, but she needed to feel my wrath… sort of. The elongated features on her startled face almost caused me to laugh, but I forced the smile back, coughing as cover– though I suspected my attempt didn’t work as the veil I had hoped.
Sometimes I can see a lot of me in my old high school friend. We both have a punk side to us, and we are unabashedly self-aware. Other times, I am more like her wife, Max. Trapped inside my own head with a clear desire to express myself. At least soon, Max will get the opportunity to share that musically creative side I’ve heard so much about.
“I know, but... you know how it is, Steph,” Chloe began. “Ya’ll move around a lot, and we travel a good bit for gallery gigs. We got one tomorrow a hundred miles from here. There’s rarely any down time for any of us. Hanging out with you and Alex is like an escape. A heavy fucking guilty escape lately, but an escape nonetheless.” This time, she made sure to look me dead in the eyes.
“You still cuss like that in front of your daughter?” I asked, elbowing my friend in the ribs, letting her know I planned to keep it light.
As if on cue, Alex, Max, and little Destiny appeared from a doorway on the side that led to the backstage area, adjacent to the dais. My girlfriend adjusted her glasses and shot me that cute, irresistible crooked grin that told me she felt awkward, yet everything was fine. She might be the empath, but I pride myself on my ability to read her as well. She’s easily the best thing that has ever happened to me, and I think she knows it.
“High five, Destiny!” I called out as they approached our table, hoping to prevent our potentially high emotions from getting out of hand.
The little blonde girl slapped her palm against mine as hard as she could, causing it to sting.
“Ouch,” I confessed, limply shaking my hand back and forth at the wrist. “You’re fierce, Miss Destiny. Fierce like a fire. You should definitely put some red streaks in your hair,” I chuckled. “If your moms let you, that is.”
I didn’t mean to cause family problems, but the five-year-old turned towards Max and began to plead her case.
“Mommy, can I get red? Pleeeeease! Red like fire! Miss Steph said I should. Pleeeeeease!”
Miss? I thought to myself. Thanks for the ‘old’ reminder, Destiny.
I don’t know why I found their interaction interesting. Chloe’s hair has been dyed since… forever; as long as I’ve known her. Why Destiny very clearly asked Max instead of her other mother didn’t make a whole lot of sense to me.
“Destiny,” Max plainly spoke, crouching down in front of her daughter, both hands on her tiny shoulders. “Fire is orange, not red. Well, mostly.” The marginal grin on the brunette’s face seemed to say more to the girl than her mom’s actual words. The five-year-old giggled and nodded, then she ran back across the room, disappearing behind the backstage door.
“She’s obsessed with Catra and Adora at the moment,” Max acknowledged. “Been playing with her action figures for like, a week straight. They’re in the green room.”
“She’s adorable,” Alex added. “But Steph’s right, maybe a streak of red in her bangs. She’d be badass like her mom.”
I watched as my girlfriend glanced over her glasses, meeting Chloe’s eyes.
“Guess I better make sure she doesn’t get into any trouble back there,” Max grumbled. She didn’t seem truly aggravated, but her voice sounded stressed.
As Max followed her daughter, Chloe stood and started towards the bar. “Y’all need anything? Gonna grab another one before the line gets too long.”
Alex shook her head, “We’re on stage next; gotta keep a clear head.”
“I’ll take a beer,” I called out in confirmation. The crowd noise was building from a dull murmur to a much more intense rumbling.
The club only held about 500 people, and it was filling up quickly for Alex’s set. We’ve gotten into a pretty nice routine. Alex usually opens with a few solo songs, a mixture of covers and originals, then she invites me up to play drums for a few. I try my best to seem surprised and reluctant to go on stage, but our loyal fans know I’m comfortable up there with her. I typically hop offstage so my girlfriend can do her thing for several more tunes, then she brings me back on for the last song or two.
Tonight, Alex invited Max to play with us. The two of them have been practicing all morning; mostly because of how nervous Max is about performing in front of a live audience. I’m not sure why she’s not more confident about her music. Earlier, I listened in while they rehearsed. Her voice is absolutely killer, and she never missed a single note on her guitar. Maybe her lack of self-assurance has something to do with what she and Chloe went through in Arcadia Bay– what we all went through.
About a year ago, I met up with Chloe for the first time since leaving the Pacific Northwest. She reintroduced me to Max– I had met her before, but we hadn’t interacted much; and I introduced her to Alex. As we sat down for lunch, somehow, the storm that killed so many people in Arcadia Bay, including my mom, got brought up. I fucking hate thinking about it, and I haven’t as much since Alex came into my life. But Max didn’t take it well, like, at all. She grew anxious and fidgety. Chloe tried her best to change the subject, probably to protect her wife, but it didn’t really help.
Then, Alex did her empath thing and was overcome with grief. She doubled over shaking and weeping like a baby for nearly an hour. Max and Chloe apologized and hurried away. Once Alex’s wits were restored, she had no idea what to make of the intense feelings she had absorbed from Max. Chloe called me later that evening and apologized. I could hear Max in the background repeatedly saying she was sorry as well.
Since then, we’ve only hung out a few times, and we all avoid talking about that specific element of our pasts, though it feels like the elephant in the room sometimes. If anything good came from that one moment, it helped Alex control her ability in a much more intentional way. It doesn’t just hit her like it used to; she can now sort of allow it in when she chooses.
“Thank y’all for listening,” the girl on stage drawled in her thick Southern accent. “Again, my name’s Cassidy. Some call me Cass or Lucy Rose. That last song is my new single. It’s on Spotify... if you would be so kind as to check it out. I’ll be drifting around so look for me again soon. Enjoy Alex Chen’s show. Cheers, everyone!”
The crowd clapped and she left the stage.
Ohhh, Cass. I remembered. That’s it.
Suddenly, Chloe plopped down with two beers. “Here ya go, Steph.” She slid one in front of me after taking a mouthful of her own.
“Well, that’s my cue. See you up there.” Alex craned in and pecked me on the lips. She slid a half-sheet of paper in front of me beside my beer then departed for the stage.
“Break a leg!” I hollered back. “Damn, this is a rad setlist!”
Alex twisted around and blew an exaggerated kiss.
“Lemme see,” Chloe demanded through an impish grin while attempting to swipe it from my grasp.
I played keep-away for a few seconds by moving the setlist back each time she grabbed for it. When she realized I could overpower her and she had no way to get it on her own, she stopped trying. But did she give up? Of course not. She’s Chloe Price. I, uh… I mean Caulfield-Price now. She’s the most loyal and dedicated person I’ve ever met.
“Fuck. Come on dude! Max is keeping this shit secretive, and it’s driving me nuts. Pleeeeease!”
All I could do was laugh. Irritating Chloe was always funny. Plus, I couldn’t help but notice her plea sounded a lot like her daughter’s from earlier.
“HAHA! Okay, okay.” I held it out between my pointer and thumb in Chloe’s direction. Then I played the guilt game. “But... just think about it before you look. Max went out of her way to make this a surprise for you. You don’t want to spoil it, like, two minutes before we go on stage, do you?”
Chloe pouted and huffed. She knew I was right.
“Fuck, Steph. Fine.” She crossed her arms at her chest and slunk down on her stool. “I just hate my FOMO sometimes.”
“FOMO?” I asked.
“You know, Fear Of Missing Out. I hate being the only one that doesn’t know something. Sucks ass.”
“Aww, Chloe,” I consoled. “I’m sorry you feel that way. But this time, it’s for a good reason, trust me. This is a gift from Max to you. Look at it like a surprise party. Max has a surprise for you, and you will love it.”
Chloe sighed and rolled her eyes. She grabbed her beer and, with several glugs, drank it down below halfway.
“You’re right,” she lamented. “Asshole.”
“Mommy!” Destiny emerged through the crowd and jumped on Chloe’s lap. All her worry and FOMO left my friend’s face, and she lit up when she held her five-year-old. Maybe one day I will know that feeling. Maybe not.
The lights were dimmed, and a single spotlight created a circular glow on stage. As Alex appeared from the wings, I could feel the skin on my cheeks tighten, most likely revealing a goofy smile. My heart fluttered with joy as Alex started her show.
She strummed a quick lick on her guitar before addressing the crowd.
“Thank you for coming out. We have a rad show for you tonight.”
Everyone clapped.
“We have a surprise or two and a very special guest will join later on. Oh, also, thank you to Cassidy for kicking things off. I believe she already left, but please make sure to support her on Spotify. I don’t really understand the algorithm shit, but just listen to her song as much as you can. Anyway...”
Alex played the first few notes of the first song, Wonderwall by Oasis, and went right into the lyrics. The song itself evokes emotion, but when Alex sings it, my entire soul is filled. I love her so much.
I glanced over at Chloe and Destiny, and they were swaying and moving to Alex’s groove, which, of course, made me happy. Chloe must have noticed me staring at her because she leaned in and whispered in my ear.
“I’m sorry I didn’t invite you to the wedding, Dude.”
I leaned back her way and responded.
“It’s fine, Chloe. We were all dealing with shit our own way.”
She nodded.
Alex finished the first song and the audience cheered.
“If you know anything about me,” Alex began, “you know the inspiration for this next tune. She’s both my rock... and she’s my roll. Love you, Steph. You hot-ass DJ!”
Her second song was an original she called DJ Girls are Hot. It’s about the first time we met when we first noticed each other through the DJ booth window. I held up two records for her to choose from. I asked her to decide which one I should play next. She, of course, made the best choice. That was when I knew this girl was special.
The next one in her set was a cover. Her rendition of Mr. Brightside by The Killers is a crowd favorite; everyone danced around and enjoyed it.
Having seen the setlist, I knew she would invite me onstage next for an original song we wrote together called Love/Hate, Rinse Repeat. We wrote it as we recalled moments from our pasts that helped us grow and become the women we are today.
“So,” Alex started, before inviting me to join her, “she’s not shy, by any means, but something tells me she would be perfectly content to let me handle this show and enjoy it from the crowd.”
The audience lights were brightened, shining down on everyone not onstage.
“Steph,” Alex continued, “would you do me the honor of coming up here with me for a couple of tunes? I need to show off my hot DJ.”
As per routine, I pretended to resist her invite by tossing my hands in her direction. “Nah, you got this. You don’t need me.”
“Come on, Steph. I could use a little percussion up here.”
I stood and shrugged, tossing away once more.
“Get your ass up there,” I heard Chloe playfully urge.
“Okay, fine,” I yelled back towards the stage. “But you owe me something really good.”
Alex responded into the microphone, “Hmm. Maybe later tonight... you and me can... well, you know.” She drew out the last words and passionately gazed into my eyes, biting her lower lip.
“On my way,” I yelled, cutting her off then rapidly stumbling to the stage. The crowd erupted with laughter and applause. That little bit always gets a good reaction from the audience. Sometimes people whistle or yell mostly inappropriate things for a five-year-old to hear, but if Chloe didn’t mind Destiny being there, then, whatever.
Love/Hate, Rinse Repeat begins with a thirty-second drum solo, so I got to show off a little bit. It’s one of the heavier songs we play. We also jammed the ending for a few extra minutes, allowing us both to improv a little.
After the final note, we moved directly into the next song. Corner of 5th and 23rd is a ballad. It’s an extremely gay and high-spirited song about kissing random girls just for the fun of it in the middle of New York City.
Once we finished, Alex took a sip of her water bottle then returned to the mic.
“Thank you again for being here this evening.” She paused for a moment and looked back towards the wings. From my vantage point, I saw Max standing there with her guitar hanging from the strap on her shoulder, waiting for her introduction. “We have a special guest here. She’s a good friend of ours, and she’s never done this before. I mean, she is very talented and belongs here with us, but believe it or not, she’s never performed live. You may have heard of her photography company, M3.”
An employee of the club wearing all black walked out with an additional microphone and stand, placing it beside Alex’s. Once it was set up, she returned backstage.
“Max Caulfield-Price, come on out. Let’s do this thing.”
Rather than watching as Max joined us, I turned my attention towards the crowd. I located Chloe so I could enjoy seeing her reaction as her wife made her way to the mic.
Chloe’s face lit up in a way that I can’t ever remember seeing. It was like personally witnessing a shooting star for the first time. Or maybe more like seeing a kid waking up on Christmas morning to a living room full of presents. I grinned then glanced towards Max.
“Alright, Max, you ready?” Alex spoke away from the mic for only Max and me to hear. The newcomer nodded and picked a few notes on her guitar. She looked shy and uncomfortable, yet her stage presence was professional.
We chose Tom’s Diner as her first song, so she wouldn’t have to jump right into a tougher tune. Our version was short and comfy, and it’s less than three minutes; a tiny little song.
As rehearsed, Alex and Max started with their in-sync guitar picking. We didn’t use drums with this one, so I just sat behind my kit and watched them go to work. They both eased into the vocals, Max’s eyes alternating between her fingering and Alex. At first, our guest’s voice was shaky, but it just made her seem folksy and cute. It didn’t take long to notice that the crowd was eating it up.
When the song ended, the crowd clapped, and Alex gave Max a quick side hug, whispering something I couldn’t hear in her ear. She pointed in the direction of Chloe’s and Destiny’s table, and Max smiled.
Without addressing the audience, Alex directed us into our next set of songs. We played Time after Time by Cyndi Lauper; Max and Alex treating it as a duet, followed by Cheshire Cat Disease, which is an original, and Smells Like Teen Spirit by Nirvana.
“Max,” Alex spoke into the mic, “how about you bless our ears with a solo of your own?” Without letting our guest respond, Alex addressed the crowd. “What about you guys, should we ask Max for a solo?”
Claps and cheers answered her question.
“Stage is yours, Max.” Alex walked over to a hidden stool near me and sat down.
“Umh... I-I would like to thank Alex and Steph f-for inviting me up here. I’ve never sh-shared my musical side with anyone besides my family. Th-thank you for indulging me.”
Max paused as an apparent moment of stage fright struck her. A couple of uncomfortable seconds passed by. I felt bad for her, so I elbowed Alex to do something. Before she could, someone else did instead.
Suddenly, from the crowd, Chloe yelled, “GIVE EM HELL, LOVE! YOU LOOK SUPER SEXY UP THERE BY THE WAY!”
“Hey, Mommy!” Destiny hollered.
“YOU’RE DOING GREAT!” Someone else screamed.
I twisted my microphone around so I could be heard as well. “You’re kicking ass Max. Fuck it up!”
Max giggled then locked eyes on her wife and started playing Billie Jean by Michael Jackson. Again, I located Chloe in the crowd and, as Max worked through the tune, I watched as little Destiny wiped tears from her mother’s cheeks. Chloe’s love for her childhood best friend, who became her lover, mother to her child, and wife, choked me up as well. I knew that Chloe was glad she didn’t look at the setlist. This song was a special gift from Max.
After the solo was finished, the crowd erupted with applause. She just stood there for about sixty seconds smiling. She blew a kiss towards Chloe and Destiny, gave both me and Alex a hug, then exited through the wings.
Alex performed a couple of solo tunes then I rejoined her for a couple more, including one we always play as a shoutout to Gabe. We miss him dearly.
For our closing song, we invited Max back up on stage. She waved Destiny and Chloe to join as well, and we all belted out We Will Rock You, by Queen.
The audience loved the show. It was such an amazingly powerful experience that I will cherish for the rest of my life. Max, Chloe, and Destiny didn’t join us for the after party because of an early morning photoshoot the next day. We said goodbye and we promised to see each other soon, not letting as much time pass before we got together again.
Wonderwall (cover) - Alex solo
DJ Girls are Hot (original) - Alex solo
Mr. Brightside (cover) - Alex solo
Love/Hate, Rinse/Repeat (original) - Alex, Steph
Corner of 5th and 23rd (original) - Alex, Steph
Tom’s Diner (cover) - Alex, Max
Time After Time (cover) - Alex, Steph, Max
Cheshire Cat Disease (original) - Alex, Steph, Max
Smells Like Teen Spirit (cover) - Alex, Steph, Max
Billie Jean (cover) - Max solo
Fools and Shrinks (original) - Alex solo
Incredible Edibles (original) - Alex solo
Don’t Matter (cover): FOR GABE - Alex, Steph
Grass Ain’t Greener (original) - Alex, Steph
We Will Rock You (cover) Alex, Steph, Max