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There was a kid crying, her mom shouting in outrage, and the general utter confusion of all the normal human people trying to understand what was going on in this weird parade.
Nandor was feeling electric. Ecstatic, every fibre of his being was on fire, Figuratively and well... quite literally.
"I JUST WENT TO OUTER SPAAAAACE!"
Nandor roared, feeling so alive like he hadn't felt in a long, long time. Not since the conquering and pillaging.
He was expecting loud clapping and cheers, but he was instead welcomed back to earth with only the humans' puzzled expressions and a hint of indifference.
He didn't care about them anyway. All he cared about was speaking with Guillermo. To see his adoring eyes worship him. To watch him hang on his every single word. Nandor would tell his incredible story and finally win back his familiar’s attention.
When Nandor glanced at Guillermo, though, all he could see was the panic in his face.
Guillermo rushed to the stage, reaching for a big colourful flag. Nandor had to wonder what the fuck Guillermo was doing and why he wasn’t paying attention to him after he had accomplished such a magnificent feat. It almost seemed like he might be trying to cover him up or something.
Right, all his clothes burned, Nandor noticed. He was standing bare naked in front of everyone. His physique was impressive, anyway. No need to be shy about it.
He just wanted to scream: Look at me, Guillermo! I am the best, I knew I could do this, now you will want to stay forever with me because I'm so courageous and strong!
Nandor was lost in his jubilant thoughts, puffing his chest to make himself look bigger, like one of those birds courting their mates.
He felt Guillermo wrapping his arms around his waist, the big piece of cloth covering him from the waist down.
Sean's voice echoed through the speakers. "Who's ready for the paraaaade?"
The few people that decided to stay after that bizarre entrance made a half annoyed cheer.
"Master, you can't stay half naked in front of everybody" Guillermo whispered hoarsely.
The familiar's voice made Nandor finally snap back to reality, his hands still in the air, index finger and pinky pointing up. He turned around and lowered his arms.
His housemates were there and they all looked strange. Stranger than usual, even. He noticed that Laszlo's face appeared to be completely disfigured with bright red burns. And even more perplexing, Nadja now appeared to have Colin Robinson fused to her back?
"The fuck happened here?" he shouted.
His adrenaline slowly receded, but the euphoria remained.
Nandor didn't really care for an answer. Not that any of them looked inclined to explain.
In any case, Guillermo was right behind him and Nandor really needed to gush over his achievements and show that he was the strongest after all. Laszlo never stood a chance of competing with him!
"Guillermo!" he turned towards him, hands on his hips, his crotch barely covered right in front of his familiar's face.
Head high, he declared loudly enough for anyone to hear: "I told you I could do it and I did it because I am THAT strong! A warlord AND a Gastro-nut! Conqueror of lands and skies, seas and plane-"
"Good for you, Master, but you can't stay here undressed like that!" interrupted Guillermo, moving his face away, keeping eye contact.
He then grabbed Nandor's wrist and dragged him down the stage, his head going left to right, desperately looking for something.
Guillermo started talking "What were you thinking? You burned the cape I spent three hours cleaning yesterday, you made at least two kids cry, someone fainted because of you! You made me worried sick! And it's not even midnight!"
Nandor didn't respond and just followed, strangely unbothered by Guillermo's disrespectful tone. It must be the adrenaline still rushing through his undead veins.
He heard his familiar vocalising a quick "a-ha!" and pulling him to Laszlo's float parked not too far away, still holding his wrist tightly.
They climbed on it, and Guillermo started to rummage between some of the stuff that was left in preparation for the parade: a bunch of coloured markers, a few blank poster boards, rainbow tinsel, a couple of kid-sized pink Sean-branded parade t-shirts.
"That'll do it," mumbled Guillermo, grabbing one of the t-shirts, turning to Nandor and shoving it over his head.
Nandor meanwhile found some rainbow gloves, a bunch of plastic pearl necklaces and some colourful garlands and added it to his attire.
He looked at Guillermo and noticed he was staring at him.
Nandor could smell his own burnt hair, the t-shirt was definitely too small for his broad shoulders, leaving half of his belly exposed to the breeze. The flag was barely holding up on his waist. Not his usual regal attire, he thought, but it certainly could not be very hygienic to walk around the streets completely naked, so this would have to do for now.
Surely he could pull off any outfit. He smiled with confidence at his familiar.
Guillermo suddenly burst into a hearty laugh, his shoulders relaxing and that worried expression mixed with anger was finally gone.
Nandor's face fell for a brief moment before quickly regaining his air of bravado.
"Are you shitting me right now? Making fun of me after such a great achievement! You should feel honoured to even be able to speak to me!" Nandor pouted but he didn't feel particularly upset.
While he waited for Guillermo to regain his composure, his eyes searched around the float. He caught sight of some colourful little pictures inside a transparent plastic container.
"Guillermo, what are those cute little images over there?"
"Oh, just leftover stickers we used to make the signs for the parade. The kids loved those, they used most of them on their faces." Guillermo said, wiping his eyes from laughing too hard.
The familiar followed his master as Nandor reached out for the stickers, picking them up and shoving them in front of Guillermo’s face.
"I want to be sticked, too." Nandor said, his tone serious.
Guillermo sighed and took the box, he pointed for Nandor to sit on the side of the float next to him.
Nandor sat impossibly close to Guillermo, the night was cold and the adrenaline leaving his body made him want to seek all the warmth possible. Their shoulders and knees were glued together.
Nandor leaned even closer to take a look at the stickers and chose one, placing it on Guillermo's open and slightly shaking palm.
Guillermo's cheeks and tip of his nose were bright red from the cold, Nandor really felt the urge to touch them and feel the blood rushing there, but he was preceded when Guillermo carefully peeled one of the colourful stickers off and gently placed it on his forehead. He could hear Guillermo's heart beating and couldn't stop staring at the little smile that formed on his face.
Nandor chose the next sticker and waited patiently to feel Guillermo's fingertips on his face again.
He noticed out of the corner of his eye the markers and the big, white pieces of poster paper not too far away from him.
"What did you use those for? Are you making art?" Nandor asked.
"Not really," answered Guillermo with a chuckle. "You just write a statement or something you're proud of." He looked like he was struggling to peel the second sticker off.
Nandor reached for one of the black markers and a sheet of paper and placed the sign on the floor of the float, turning his back to his familiar. He started scribbling something.
Guillermo wasn’t really paying any attention to him, still fighting with a clearly defective sticker. Finally, he succeeded.
"Turn around, Master" he commanded.
Nandor turned his head and Guillermo placed a rainbow sticker on the bridge of his nose.
The vampire looked once again inside the box to choose the next one. He took a lightning-shaped figure and handed it to his familiar. Next he found a separate little plastic sheet with a series of identical heart shaped stickers hiding to the side in the box. They looked shinier and bigger from all the others.
"Perfect!" Nandor whispered with a low growl. Turning his head once again, he started to apply them one after another to the glorious work of art, skillfully peeling them off without any hassle.
In contrast, he kept hearing the continuous tick tick tick of Guillermo's fingernails trying to separate the two pieces of paper, a low exasperated growl escaping his familiar's throat.
Nandor was about to turn around and mock him for the lack of manual dexterity, but he finally remembered he still needed to impress him with his space adventure!
"It was great, you know?" Nandor began,"The way up was really cold and wet. Very unpleasant. Then I went above all of those useless clouds and everything was different! I met so many little bird friends, they kept me company for awhile. Oh! An airplane flew right next to me! I waved hello to them but then I noticed the pilots were freaking out a little bit, so I had to hypnotise them..."
"Oh no, Master, please, tell me you didn't give them the brain scramblies" Guillermo interrupted, putting the still intact sheet of stickers on his lap and hastily reaching for the phone in his pocket.
Nandor, like always, peeked at what Guillermo was typing in his intelligent machine *plane crashes today.*
Guillermo still looked tense, but put his phone away, resuming his fight with the sheet of stickers.
"Anyway,” Nandor continued, a bit bothered by Guillermo's only interest seeming to be in the stupid humans on the plane, “the cold started to become unbearable, ice was forming in my eyebrows, my dick felt about to fall off!"
Guillermo slightly frowned.
Is he worried? Nandor thought with a smirk. He noticed Guillermo's increasing interest in his huge member lately.
He continued "I admit maybe I was about to give up, but they don't call me Nandor the Relentless for nothing! Just when I was thinking that, everything became silent and lighter! I was floating, Guillermo! I saw the Earth from above! It's really like Colin Robinson described it! Still, I was hoping I could see a giant cute turtle. It was amazing nonetheless, Guillermo, it really made me think about how really small we all are."
Nandor was most excited to finally tell his adventure to Guillermo, but the last part made him really think.
He stopped, engulfed in his deepest thoughts. The excitement fading from his face.
They really were insignificant. All of them, Vampires, humans, werewolves, any other creature.
It was... Liberating. All his battles in the past, his pillaging, his wives, the hundreds of years making mistake after mistake really didn't count that much in the face of the magnificence he just saw.
The only need he felt was to go back down there just to tell his experience to Guillermo, to make him part of his insignificant little achievement in his insignificant life and maybe make a little bit of sense out of it together with him.
All of this thinking was causing his head to feel as though it was heating up.
He pulled himself together trying his best to placate his complicated thoughts.
He placed the last sticker on his sign and turned his head back to his familiar.
Guillermo also finally peeled the little lighting shape off, his hand reaching for Nandor's cheek.
"That sounds fantastic, Master. I wish I could see it too one day".
"Would you come with me next time?" Nandor asked without any second thoughts.
"I would die instantly." Guillermo said. He smiled, letting out a soft chuckle.
"Not if you are a vampire," said Nandor.
He paused, suddenly realising the words that had just left his mouth.
"I mean, hypothetically speaking," he added.
He noticed that he wasn't so averse anymore to the idea of turning Guillermo. That night eternity had assumed a different meaning, and spending it with his favourite human being didn't sound too bad after all.
Guillermo's muscles tensed, and the beautiful red on his cheeks deepened.
Nandor painfully noted that his familiar kept avoiding his eyes. Something was going on in Guillermo's head lately, but he couldn't quite grasp what.
Was his trip to space not enough? What else could he do for him? What could he possibly-
"I would like to." Guillermo finally answered with a half smile, his eyes expressing sadness in contrast but finally returning his master's gaze.
Guillermo's hand was cupping Nandor's jaw, with the thumb rubbing a sticker that just didn't want to stay in place on Nandor’s cheekbone.
Nandor, completely trusting his familiar's touch, closed his eyes and a little pleased smile formed on his lips. He leaned slightly into Guillermo's hand.
"I missed you Guillermo, our time alone."
He let out a soft sigh, the human hand so incredibly warm. He opened his eyes again.
Guillermo stopped his rubbing motion but kept his fingers lingering. Their faces inches apart, both out of words just staring at each other with intense dark eyes.
"I wasn't that far away, Master, I was just... helping with the float" he said with a whisper, a lie.
Nandor didn't care about his answer, too entranced by Guillermo's eyes, his crimson cheeks and those lips that just recently started to attract him like the Moon orbiting the Earth.
He wanted to feel them. I want him, he finally realised, as he suddenly, slowly started to close the small gap between them.
"Guillermo, can I-"
All of a sudden he saw something flying in his direction. He turned his head and a rainbow-coloured tambourine hit him right in the middle of his forehead.
He let out a loud "ayyy” rubbing the spot that was hit. He picked the instrument up and he was quickly brought back to reality and his surroundings.
With everybody excitedly getting ready to start moving for the parade, the moment between him and Guillermo was gone.
"There you are, you dumb fuck!" Laszlo shouted. "Take that and start making some noise around the float, we are going to start moving this thing. Gizmo, you are our main attraction so stay there and do something funny, I don't know, strip naked and shake your arse or something."
Guillermo grimaced, his hand still hanging in the air where his master’s face had been, in a situation that now felt like a forgotten dream.
Nandor briefly turned back to Guillermo and flinched, opening and closing his mouth like a fish outside water. He wanted to say so many things to him but decided to keep them for another time. Letting out a defeated sigh, he picked up the sign.
"This is for you," the vampire declared with a bright smile.
He handed it to Guillermo, hoping he would notice his skill with crafts, another thing to be impressed by.
He jumped off the float and started walking and hopping, gleefully shaking the tambourine in his hand.
—-----------------------------------------------
Guillermo watched Nandor walk away, still contemplating what the fuck had been about to happen between them just a second ago.
He looked at the sign.
"GAY GUY" was written all in caps and little heart stickers were all around it.
He couldn't help but smile. 700 years of wonders and knowledge, and this is all his vampire could come up with. Still, he found it extremely adorable. Nandor made it especially for him after all.
Another thing his master did for him. It was happening more and more lately.
A rush of guilt ran through his spine, but just for today, he tried to push the feeling away. He would have time to think about it tomorrow and hopefully everything would be back to normal– even though he knew “normal” was no longer an option.
The float started moving and Guillermo lit up a sparkler, holding the sign in front of him.
He realised later that he actually had fun.
And, much to his relief, he was able to confirm that no plane had crashed that night.