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MULDER & SCULLY chill on a couch, drinking beer and munching popcorn.
MULDER: Ominous music, check.
SCULLY: Ominous objects in space, check.
“It will probably start on a Friday”
SCULLY: Crap, I have Zumba classes on Fridays.
MULDER: Can't you reschedule?
SCULLY: For the End of The World? Possibly. Juan is pretty strict about attendance, though.
MULDER: Tell him the survival of fitness clothing is at stake.
SCULLY (shrugging): I could try. He does love his neon leggings.
MULDER: Did they just say 'well-oiled'?
SCULLY: They sure did.
MULDER: I have a bad feeling about this.
SCULLY: Fear you're gonna end up stuck under some chicken wire again?
MULDER: Or having to undergo alien acupuncture again, yep.
SCULLY: You did say it did wonder for your back.
MULDER: After a fashion. I'm still unsure what it did for my crotch.
SCULLY: And that's a ten foot pole I am so not going near.
MULDER: You used to, Honey Bunch.
SCULLY: Shut up, Mulder.
SCULLY: Oh look, alien technology and more edematous folks.
MULDER: You know Scully, you're gonna have to learn to pronounce it right this time around.
SCULLY: Bite me, Mulder.
MULDER: Hey, look, that's me, with cool shades. Yeah man.
SCULLY: ... and rocking an 'Occupy Wall Street' look, I see.
MULDER: We Are Legion, Scully.
SCULLY: So are they, it seems. Oh, there’s Tad. Hi Tad (waves).
MULDER: Followed by a phallic symbol, smooth, Chris, smooth.
SCULLY: You're just jealous, Poopy Head.
MULDER: Nah, he ain't soulmate material. I'm not worried.
SCULLY: Say that to the Shippers.
MULDER: Let them read fic. Ah, behold The Creepy Old Man. Can't have a good X-File without one.
SCULLY (yawning): So you've seen something and you're close. What else is new?
MULDER: Apparently, we get to ride in a Limo.
SCULLY: I guess that’s an upgrade from the ice pods they like to stick me in.
MULDER: Hey, that’s our old basement office.
SCULLY: And it looks like you no longer have a desk. (elbows him) Karma’s a bitch, Mulder.
MULDER: Wait, did I just...
SCULLY: ... ripped your fave poster with your boot? Yes, you did.
MULDER (outraged): Arrest this man! He's obviously a Bounty Hunter! I would never do such a thing!!!
SCULLY: Hold on. WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO MY HAIR???
MULDER: I hear it's the latest style on Zeta Reticula.
SCULLY (glaring): Someone will pay for this.
MULDER: Dear 1013, I hope you guys won't need the use of your left shoulder in the foreseeable future...
SCULLY: Nope, I'm aiming lower this time.
MULDER: Ouch. Hey, at least I've got my suit back. Lookin’ good FBI.
SCULLY: Let's hope they gave me some killer heels to make up for this... oooh, well, hello Assistant Director Skinner, you bearded marvel you.
MULDER: I just got very turned on.
SCULLY (dreamily): I bet his beard isn't scratchy.
MULDER: We're gonna have to flip a coin...
SCULLY: I'll take heads.
MULDER: I bet you do. OW!
SCULLY: Serves you right. (squints) What exactly are you doing to my shoulders?
MULDER: Erm... checking for alien implants?
SCULLY: In my shoulders.
MULDER: Those aliens are getting crafty, Scully.
SCULLY: Riiiight.
MULDER: Your car is filthy, G-woman.
SCULLY: It's not dirt, Mulder, it's obvious the windows are steamed up. Me and A.D. Skinner must have been having a Titanic moment.
MULDER: Or maybe I was.
SCULLY: Wasn’t yours in a Lariat rental with Frohike?
MULDER: I’m not even going to dignify this with an answer.
MULDER:Aw, look, we still have our flashlights.
SCULLY: Good, the darkness will hide my hair. Uh-oh, last time I saw that look on your face you were in a padded cell.
MULDER: But, but, Scully, listen: “I know what I'm doing”.
SCULLY: Oh, brother. I have a nine-year list worth of evidence to the contrary. Shall I read it to you? I’ve made bullet points.
MULDER: Maybe I’ve learnt from my mistakes.
SCULLY: Sure, and aliens just came to Earth to steal the Cronut recipe.
MULDER: Fine, whatever.
MULDER: Oh, hi Dad.
SCULLY: Wasn't he blown to smithereens by a missile?
MULDER: Evil never dies, Scully.
SCULLY: Just like this franchise.
MULDER: Come on, don't tell me you're not excited.
SCULLY (pouting): Does it have to start on a Friday?
MULDER: Look, if it makes you feel better, I'll get us a sleeping bag.
SCULLY: Do you think Skinner knows the Lyrics for “Joy to The World”?
MULDER: I like the way you think.
SCULLY: I know.