Work Text:
When Kaveh leaves, he doesn’t slam the door.
The sun is setting slowly over the Divine Tree, and dusk stretches over the sky like the remnants of a great fire. He doesn’t have anywhere to go.
It will not be the first time. He starts the trek across town. Mehrak and a small bag of his necessities are all he has with him. He’ll have to ask Alhaitham to-
He stops as a pair of children run past him, shouting and laughing. They are in Akademiya primary school uniform, the ones that always needed ironing after every wash.
Kaveh looks for a moment too long. He has always been sentimental - hoarding every piece of memory like they’ll never disappear if he holds on tight enough.
He digs through his rucksack and comes up empty.
Ah.
He'd forgotten his toothbrush.
*
Tighnari doesn’t ask any questions when Kaveh shows up at his hut. He’s always been considerate like that; never the one to pry, to dig at loose bedrock where it hurts the most.
“Come in, Kaveh.
“Tighnari, I-”
“Stay as long as you need.” Tighnari’s eyes are a piercing blue in the liminal night. Kaveh sometimes wonders if his big ears can hear stray thoughts.
“Thank you.” He walks into Tighnari’s arms and does not cry. It will not be fair to anyone if he did, after all. He’s old enough to know that by now.
*
Kaveh has known Alhaitham for a long time. Kaveh remembers when he barely came up to his chin. He remembers him sitting in the same corner of the House of Daena every day. He remembers when they used to laugh together, and how they'd stopped.
It’s Sumeru City that causes him the most grief. Every corner he looks, a memory flashes past like an afterimage. Alhaitham’s favourite dish at Puspa Cafe, Alhaitham’s preferred brand of ink from the Grand Bazaar. Alhaitham coming home at six on the dot and Alhaitham taking walks in the secluded trails behind their home.
Kaveh has always had trouble forgetting. Since young, he’s always been able to recall with painful clarity each instance of emotional significance. He sold his childhood home just to get away from it all.
He can’t set foot in Sumeru City again, he decides. He needs to move to the forest and start a new life here. Tighnari said they were building new infrastructure for the rehabilitation of the sages - that means new designs, right?
He makes up his mind to pick up his toothbrush tomorrow.
*
Alhaitham is not home when Kaveh sneaks his way inside. Well, he still has the key, so really it’s more like Kaveh unlocked the door and let himself in.
Everything is still the same as two nights ago: the empty cup forgotten at the coffee table, the books strewn next to them Alhaitham hadn’t put away.
The papers Kaveh found that had made him burn dinner.
The faint odour of charr still lingers in the air. Kaveh bites the inside of his cheek and goes into the kitchen and finds the pan still sitting in the sink. A dark splotch is scorched into the centre like the outline to a crime scene.
Kaveh feels his chest grow tight at the sight of it.
Alhaitham never leaves dirty dishes in the sink.
*
Cyno’s come over to Gandharva Ville for dinner tonight.
Kaveh knew he probably would, at some point or another. Both he and Tighnari are dodgy about the topic whenever asked, but Kaveh is fairly certain they’re dating - if not outright married.
He understands the secrecy though; Cyno holds a high ranking position within the Akademiya and Tighnari is practically the cult leader of his forest watchers. They are both private people and it’s no one else’s business but their own. Kaveh is just grateful they trust him enough to have a glimpse of their domesticity.
He watches as Tighnari piles another piece of fish on top of Cyno’s bowl of spiced rice - something he cooked specifically for him - Kaveh is certain. He swallows dryly as something seems to catch in his throat.
“Do you like the pita pockets, Kaveh?” Cyno asks. “Collei made them for us.”
Kaveh nods avidly as he drains the rest of his tea. His eyes are stinging. Perhaps he can’t handle the spice very well either.
“They taste wonderful, truly,” he coughs. “Please send her my regards.”
*
In the week following the conclusion of the Interdarshan Championship, Kaveh had felt all out of sorts.
Sachin’s speech had lingered in his mind, festering his sleep with troubled dreams and leaving him drained. He didn’t regret donating the money or destroying the diadem, but his skin crawled when he thought about how Sachin saw something of himself in him.
Humanity only brought upon itself conflict and destruction - what an awful belief to contend with. Kaveh kept himself busy with projects and chores to avoid ruminating over the thought.
That was when he found the summoning papers tucked between books left sprawled over the kitchen table.
Please be advised that the Akademiya staff member Grand Scribe Al-Haitham is hereby summoned to appear before the council of matras. As Rule 3.8(a) states, it is considered professional misconduct to engage in conduct involving dishonesty, fraud, and deceit. An official report of complaint has been filed against the subject regarding your behaviour at the Inter-Darshan Championship involving Kshahrewar candidate Kaveh over the inappropriate destruction of the diadem and redistribution of funds…
Smoke had been rising from the pan before Kaveh snapped out of it and shut the stove off.
His ribcage felt bruised with the force of his thundering heart. The date of the hearing was three days ago. Alhaitham hadn’t said a single word about it. He hadn’t seemed any different than usual at all.
Kaveh sat on the couch with his spinning thoughts until Alhaitham came home.
*
“Listen, Cyno.” Kaveh tries to make his voice sound casual. He doesn’t succeed, judging by the slight sharpening of Cyno’s gaze as he turns around at the kitchen sink. “I know you probably can’t say much, but can you tell me if…if the charges against Alhaitham were really dismissed?”
Cyno’s expression doesn’t change. “What has he already told you?”
Kaveh swallows down the bitter memories of that night. The harsh words they exchanged ring between his ears. “Nothing much. Just that they were baseless accusations and held no merit.”
Cyno inclines his head. “I can’t disclose any details, but what he said isn’t incorrect.”
Double negative. Kaveh’s jaw tightens. Sometimes Cyno is a little too good at keeping confidentiality.
“So this won’t be a problem for him anymore, right?” he asks, thinking about gently closed doors at sunset, about the tremble of Alhaitham’s lips in the transition of light and shadow.
Cyno’s looking at him with something like sympathy.
“Alhaitham is a difficult man to unsettle,” he says.
*
“I’m moving out,” was the first thing Kaveh said when Alhaitham came home.
“Sure. But I’m not refunding your rent for this month,” was Alhaitham’s unperturbed response as he set the groceries on the kitchen counter.
“Wha- I mean it!”
“Yes, just like how you mean it every time.” Alhaitham started putting away the milk and glabrous beans. “I’m not stopping you. In fact, I strongly encourage it. So, what new pyramid scheme did you join that promised you’ll be able to pay off all of your debts within thirty days?”
“Hey! I’ll have you know that last project wasn’t a pyramid scheme - it was for charity!”
“I see you’re not denying the other three weren't.”
“Well- I didn’t lose money at least.”
“Yes, an aspirational feat.”
“You- Ugh, forget it. I’m not arguing with you today.”
“What an unusual show of restraint for you.”
“Alhaitham,” Kaveh said pointedly. “I saw the hearing notice.”
There was the barest shift in Alhaitham’s expression. He did not look at Kaveh. He stared at the inside of the fridge and let all the cold air escape out the door.
“Hm, I must’ve forgotten to file it away,” he muttered as if to himself. “The allegations have already been dismissed, or did you think that pile of nonsense actually held any legitimate merit?”
Kaveh's eyebrows rose. “It affects your reputation, you idiot! Those complaints came from Akademiya staff!” His nails dug into the meat of his palms as he swallowed his pride. “I wanted to apologise - I never considered how my housing situation was also affecting you.”
Alhaitham finally closed the door. It made a dull, schlick sound. “You think too highly of yourself.”
Kaveh's temper flared.“Alhaitham!"
Alhaitham’s brows turned down and he finally turned to face Kaveh. “I don’t see why this is what changes your mind,” he said stiffly. “Out of all the things I lecture you about: your drinking problem, your inability to prioritise your finances, your infuriatingly nocturnal lifestyle.” His voice rose as he threw up a hand in frustration. “But now is the time you decide to call it quits? You bewilder me.”
Kaveh’s face burned with anger. “Save it, Alhaitham, you don’t have to remind me of all the problems you have with me. I’ll be out of your hair soon enough.”
“Oh, are you actually concerned about me?” Alhaitham scoffed. “I can assure you, the sages have no power to enact sanctions on me without any proof of misconduct. Of which there are none, obviously.”
“Obviously,” Kaveh mocked, then shook his head at his own juvenility. “Ugh, no. Will you just listen to me for once? I don’t need this guilt on top of everything else-”
“What a surprise," Alhaitham sneered. "For once you’re not leaping at the chance to take on more of it.”
Kaveh's lungs squeezed as if the air had been knocked out of them. He stared at Alhaitham and Alhaitham stared back.
“Alhaitham,” Kaveh said, after a taut silence. “I’m leaving.”
*
Tighnari had agreed to find a place for Kaveh in Gandharva Ville in exchange for a commission. There is a cleared out Withering Zone that's close by, and Tighnari wants to repurpose the area as a training facility.
Kaveh's mind keeps wandering as they scope the area out. Last night he couldn’t sleep again; he awoke to the echoes of their papers being torn apart in the background of Alhaitham's deafening silence. He hasn't thought about that day for a long time - but now that dreams are back in Sumeru, he can't help but relive his worst memories apparently even while unconscious.
“-Kaveh, you okay?”
Kaveh quickly nods as his attention snaps back. He meets Tighnari’s eyes with a sheepish smile. Those ears can hear everything, he swears.
“Just didn’t sleep well, sorry.”
“Don’t be.” Tighnari puts a hand on Kaveh’s shoulder. His tail swishes thoughtfully behind him. “Why don’t we take a walk? Maybe the fresh air will clear your mind."
As they trek past grassy hills rippling in the afternoon breeze, Kaveh tells Tighnari everything that happened. He starts at the beginning - not all the way - he doesn’t know how to summarise their Akademiya fallout and their recent reconciliation in a way that won’t lead to misunderstandings. He doesn’t even quite understand it himself.
So many things between them seem to happen outside of Kaveh's control, as if fate is playing a cosmic joke at their expense. Despite the sparse of moments of joy, he'd ended up on opposite ends of every spectrum as Alhaitham, from personal habits all the way down to ideology. He wonders if maybe their paths are destined to diverge.
“-After that, I decided to leave before I could cause him any more problems,” he finishes, playing with a stalk of cattail between his fingers.
Tighnari's tail brushes his back gently. “That sounds unfortunate, I’m sorry.”
Kaveh shakes his head. “Don’t be. It was my fault anyway.”
Tighnari hums. He plucks a random bit of leaves from a purple plant and puts it in his pocket.
“Did Alhaitham say he was upset with you?” he asks.
“Isn't he always-” Kaveh sighs. “Well, he wasn’t upset, exactly. But he was mad at me, that much is for sure.”
Tighnari hums. “He’s mad that he was reported because of you?”
“No, he’s mad because-” Kaveh pauses, parsing through the memory of their argument, but everything is tinted red with regret by now. “He’s just- I dunno, you know how his temper is!”
“I don’t actually,” Tighnari points out. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen him angry before.”
Kaveh's jaw falls open. “What do you mean! He’s always throwing a fit.”
Tighnari's lips tilt upwards. “I think he only does that with you.”
“He does not-”
“Alhaitham doesn’t care about most things,” Tighnari says, and something about the way he says it reminds Kaveh of something else. Something he'd heard recently. “I’ve seen him brush off the worst rumours about him without batting an eye.”
Kaveh winces. He knows all too well how Alhaitham had faced an escalating amount of libel ever since he took over as Acting Grand Sage. When he was under the limelight, people seemed to think it gave them a free pass to cruelty. But Alhaitham had never done anything about them. He'd said he would rather waste his time and energy on something that actually mattered-
Kaveh looks down in surprise - he’d broken the stem of the plant with his grip. It sits in two pieces like a condemnation within his palms.
“...Alhaitham was angry when I told him I was moving out," he admits dully.
Tighnari is quiet. He stoops down and fiddles with another bush for a moment, then takes Kaveh's palm and sets something gently upon it.
It's a daffodil. A yellow, brilliant thing with delicate petals unfurling toward the sun.
“He’ll forgive you,” Tighnari says simply.
*
Kaveh returns to Sumeru City that night with Cyno. Apparently, Cyno has a dorm at the matra headquarters that he never uses. He’d offered to house Kaveh if things go south with Alhaitham.
But guilt eats away at Kaveh the whole way back from Gandharva Ville. What if Tighnari is wrong? What if Kaveh ruined things for good this time? After their fight back at the Akademiya, they hadn't spoken a word to each other for five whole years.
“Cyno.” Kaveh shifts his grip around Mehrak nervously as their house comes into view. “Do you think he'll really let me come back?”
“I don’t know the answer to that,” Cyno admits. “Do you want me to wait?”
Kaveh considers saying yes. His heart is about to pound through his ribs, he’s all too sober and he's once again thinking about the inevitability of fate-
He stumbles to a pause. Stares at the hanging lamp in front of their house, the one they never use. Its modest light illuminates the entrance.
Kaveh feels something shift, and a different kind of ache lances through him.
“I- I think I’ll be alright,” he tells Cyno.
Cyno nods. “Take care, Kaveh.”
He waves goodbye from the street and disappears back up the hill. Kaveh takes a deep breath and raises his fist to knock - it doesn’t seem right to use the key.
He braces himself for Alhaitham's irritated glare when Kaveh wakes him up from sleep. It's closer to midnight now, and Alhaitham has always preferred to get a full eight hours every night, as he likes to remind Kaveh every time he stays up late-
“-Alhaitham.” He blinks when the door swings open.
Shrouded in staticky orange light, Alhaitham’s face is drawn and his eyes are underlined with shadow. His expression is entirely unreadable.
“Alhaitham, I’m so-” Kaveh begins, but Alhaitham’s hand wraps around his wrist and he’s being tugged inside. The door closes behind them.
In the dark, Alhaitham's silhouette seems to waver, but he isn't saying anything. Kaveh swallows through the lump in his throat and decides, it's their choice to make after all.
“I’m home,” he amends.