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Chapter Text

The economics teacher held a hat filled to the brim with paper slips, “So you’re going to be in pairs of two for the senior build-a-business project this month. You have to work together and outside of class hours. This is your last project for senior year, so make it count.” He said before drawing the names at random.

Her face was deadpan in her palm as she fiddled with a pencil between her fingers. She hoped to get paired with Phoebe, so that she had at least a chance at a decent grade. Plus, Phoebe’s parents always made amazing food, and she knew that Phoebe would no doubt have her over. Her chances of being placed with Phoebe were very slim. Almost 30 – 1, but hey, a girl can dream.

The names were muffled in her ear as she let her mind drift. Then, her name registered in her brain loud and clear.

“Helga.” The teacher said as the paper slips crinkled under his hand as he dug out another one, “You are going to be paired with…” He unfolded the paper indifferently, “Arnold.”

Helga’s heart suddenly leaped into her throat, and her arm hair seemed to stand on end. She knew that Arnold sat behind her two rows, one column to the right, and she didn’t dare even side-eye him. She gave the teacher a nod and looked back down at the pencil she was fidgeting with, doing her damnedest to come across as apathetic as a human could.

She didn’t look, but felt Arnold’s eyes on her, and it made her face redden lightly with warmth.

Helga successfully ignored him, like she has for the past couple of years. Maybe, when they were kids, in a moment like this she would turn and scowl at him, or just indignantly proclaim how he was possibly the worst classmate to be paired with, but not now. Not anymore.

She had thrown out the shrine and stowed away her poetry books. Even stopped wearing her locket. All because two years ago, Arnold started dating another girl. Not just ‘went on a date’, or that ‘like-you-like-you’ juvenile crap, but he and her were an official couple. The talk of the school. It was all Helga could do to keep from burning those dumb books. Watching them walk in the hall hand in hand, at first filled her with a scorching rage, but ultimately the sentiment flattened into hollow sadness. Sadness not only for the failure in attaining the affections of her first love, but sadness that she wasted so much time pining for him. Basically her entire childhood.

Decidedly, Helga purged everything Arnold out of her life, and stopped giving him any attention, rude or otherwise. In fact, Helga pretty much stopped acknowledging him altogether. Seeing those two seemingly happy together did the trick better than any fall-out-of-love potion Helga could’ve hoped for in 5th grade.

A few months later, Arnold broke it off with the floozy. Word on the street was because he realized that she was only hanging out with him because of his cool room, and didn’t truly like Arnold for the beautiful, wonderful, worthwhile person he was... Not that Helga cared. She couldn’t care less. Not a single damn could she throw in the air for the boy with the odd shaped head she had once… So deeply yearned for.

When he did finally break up with her, Helga’s insides shimmered with the possibilities.

But she smothered the feelings, bitterly. Stubbornly hardening her heart against those amorous feelings before they could sweep over her. Yeah, Arnold was single, but he was just a childhood crush. Well, childhood obsession, but it didn’t matter now. Helga spent months getting over him.

No way in hell was she going to go back to that gushy, juvenile girl who couldn’t control her emotions around him. For what? Just to get hurt again? Just to experience excruciating pain once again from accidentally spotting him stealing a kiss from another, not to mention prettier girl? Helga wasn’t the most self-appreciating high schooler, but she didn’t hate herself enough to willfully go through that again.

As the teacher continued reading the names, Helga forced her fluttering heart to still coldly. Doing her best to feel nothing, her eyes glazed over as her decision to not look at him solidified... But one thing Helga knew, probably more than most:

Sometimes feeling nothing felt like hell.

Walking to Helga’s house, Arnold couldn’t help himself but internally groan. The last time they had a school project together, it was in the greenhouse in the 4th grade. She didn’t help at all and complained the whole time. In fact, if he remembers correctly, Helga went out of her way to make the project more difficult. Plus, he hadn’t said but two words to Helga in… a pretty long time.

Today, when they were paired together for this project, Helga didn’t even give him a nod of acknowledgement. Didn’t even bother to look at him.

Even when Arnold happened to run into Helga when Gerald and Phoebe met up, Helga would just blatantly ignore him like he was beneath her or something. Why was she always so rude? It made no sense. He had never done anything to her, and he supposed that eventually she would come out with it, but then again, Helga’s feelings weren’t exactly high on Arnold’s priority list.

Although it was nice that she seemed to grow out of her bully days, now she’s just despondent and aloof. Which is almost worse. Instead of getting slammed into the lockers as she domineeringly passed in the halls, Arnold got completely overlooked as she sauntered silently by, like a wandering ghost.

Maybe it was just a phase, maybe not. Either way, when he saw her house come into view, Arnold felt like turning around and just doing the project by himself. She had been a lot trouble for him in the past, so Arnold could safely predict that this class project with her was going be challenging at best.

He let out a preparing sigh before knocking on the door. Helga opened it, and when she did, the noises from a very loud TV flowed down the hall and out into the street.

“Hey Helga.” Arnold said with a mustered friendliness.

Her eyelids hung low in indifference, barley looking at him before she turned and headed up the stairs.

Arnold followed her inside, but when he took his first step on the stairs, he noticed her mom in the dining room/kitchen slumped over with her face on the table, a half-filled daiquiri in her limp hand.

When he realized Mrs. Pataki was passed-out drunk, Arnold’s eyes widened, at first with alarm, then confusion when his gaze turned to meet Helga’s back, still ascending up the stairs unfeelingly. He adjusted his backpack on his shoulder before apprehensively following her up to her room.

She sat on the floor on her knees, pulling out the homework from her backpack, “So… Did you have an idea for the build-a-business project?” She asked blandly without looking at him.

Arnold stood in the doorway of her room, “Oh uh…” He shook the image of her unconscious mother from his mind, “I was thinking maybe a coffee shop? Or maybe a study on running an industrial factory, like a steel mill, or something.” His tone turned pleasant, “We could also do a Law Firm. It would be a lot of extra work, but its super cool stuff.”

Without looking up from her bag, “I don’t really care.”

“Ohhkay… how about the coffee shop, then?” He shrugged. This was already feeling awkward.

“Yeah, sure.” She stood, “My dad has some entrepreneur and business books in the living room. I’ll be right back.” She brushed passed him and headed back down the stairs.

Arnold blinked before moving to the floor and fishing out his homework from his backpack. As he situated his things next to Helga’s, Arnold heard Big Bob’s grumbling voice exchange with Helga’s from downstairs.

Does he… not even know his own daughter’s name? This was starting to feel like a fever dream.

Helga returned with a stack of books and tossed them on the bed, clearly annoyed, “Alright so here’s the deal.” She held a thin air of dejectedness, but crossed her arms frustratedly, “Let me know exactly what to do, and I’ll do it, okay? But don’t give me everything, or I’ll be pissed. Got it?”

For the first time that night, Arnold could recognize the girl standing in front of him. The expressive girl he used to know well. Helga Pataki.

Arnold stood, “Sure thing, Helga. As long as we’re working together.” Unlike last time, he thought to himself.

“Yeah, yeah.” She waved her hand with a grimace, “Just don’t get in my way, football head.”

Arnold involuntarily grinned at his old nickname. He hasn’t been called football head in what felt like years. Maybe because Helga was the primary person who called him that. Surprisingly enough, upon hearing it again, he felt sentimental, of all things. It brought him back to things like playing baseball in the street or Gerald field. The gang commandeering the playground at old PS 118. Sledding on a snow day or taking a cool field trip with Mr. Simmons.

Man, it seems like so long ago, even though Arnold knew he was still young.

How Helga’s antagonism was connected to it all, was remarkable, truly. But looking now at her worn, frustrated face, Arnold didn’t have time to ride out his nostalgia. Helga used to be the tough, crass kid who wasn’t afraid to get in a scrap or two to get her way. This Helga, he realized, was far different from the PS 118 Helga. That PS 118 kid used to annoy the hell out of Arnold, but at least she had zest. Ferocity. Vigor. The Helga in front of him now? She was… Troubled. Burdened. Despondent.

As they studied, it suddenly became peaceful. Though Helga wasn’t all smiles by any means, the two of them were unexpectedly in their element, passing ideas, taking notes, working hard. Helga was writing something down when Arnold took a second to glimpse at her. Her long lashes hung over her eyes that shifted from page to page, her hand that held her pencil was surprisingly dainty, and her facial features were uncharacteristically soft as she remained focused. She now wore dark clothes, he noticed. Black hooded sweatshirts and ripped jeans were her usual look these days. The pink bow that hung from her loose ponytail was the only trace of the girl Arnold used to know.

In fact, Arnold wasn’t sure if he’s ever seen her without it.

It’s the same one she’s worn every single day for all these years, wasn’t it? He wondered what significance the bow had in her life to stay on her through her changing styles. He adjusted his signature blue cap atop his head, knowing full well he had no right to judge.

Before he could ponder about it more, clamoring downstairs erupted. Some hostility between her parents. It started out as a quiet quarrel, and Arnold easily disregarded it. But the quarrel quickly escalated into an explosive fight.

There was cursing, slurring, and screaming, a glass broke. Arnold flinched. Jeez, this was bad. As dysfunctional and chaotic his home life was at the boarding house, it was nothing compared to this. Even the Kokoshka’s never fought this brutally, and that’s saying a lot, because Oscar and Susie fought and yelled constantly.

Arnold cautiously moved his eyes to Helga. She was still studying, but blushing hard, clearly trying to ignore it. Her soft features he observed a second ago were hardened with a furrowed brow and clenched jaw. A realization came over Arnold: This must happen often. He didn’t say anything, for Helga’s sake, though it was near impossible to ignore. Eventually, the fighting stopped abruptly with the slamming of two doors, and Arnold could concentrate a lot better, though concern for Helga’s home life solidified as he continued to work.

They finished up their rough draft of the project and Arnold stood to head home, “I think we’re well on our way to an A, if we keep this up.” He smiled gently at her.

She didn’t smile back, “Yeah, maybe.” She said coldly as she flopped on her bed with a magazine, “I’ll see you around.” She emotionlessly dismissed him as she opened up the glossy advertisements.

As Arnold swung his backpack over his shoulder, he hesitated, but finally said, “You want to come over to my place next time? We can take turns?”

“Sure.” Without lifting her eyes from the pages of her magazine, “Whatever you say.”

Strangely enough, Arnold kind of wished to have heard football head or maybe Arnoldo at the end of that sentence and perhaps even watch one of those villainous sneers emerge. The kind that used to be effortlessly displayed on her face.

Instead, he got a blank-face and a bland response. Maybe the PS 118 Helga was gone, after all.

If Helga wasn’t mistaken, Arnold hesitated at the door. Her eyes remained locked on her magazine, without really taking anything in.

Then, after he was done loitering in her doorway, he softly said, “Goodnight, Helga.”

She didn’t say anything. She didn’t move. She just looked at this stupid magazine until finally, he turned to leave, descending the stairs. It wasn’t until she heard the front door shut, that she let her breath out and the magazine drop to the floor.

It felt like she was breathing for the first time since Arnold arrived. She laid down on the bed, letting her arm fall over her closed eyes.

WHY did they have to fight tonight of all nights?

Arnold being in her room was something he would’ve killed for a few years ago, but now, in high school, Arnold being here was a nightmare. Like an old manifestation coming out from the depths of her mind, just to remind her of how hopelessly infatuated-

“No.” She said out loud to herself, making fists.

This wasn’t up for discussion. She is not wavering on her decision to leave Arnold to the vultures. His relationship with what’s-her-name had completely destroyed Helga, and she was never going to let that happen to herself ever again. She was too tough to let that dweeb take the reins of her heart again. Conquer her innermost thoughts. Become the focal point of her most untamed fantasies.

She squeezed her eyes shut, whispering firmly, “I. Don’t. Care.” Not about him. Not about his flaxen hair and friendly, crooked smile. Not about those hazel green eyes, which were pools she wished she could bathe in, those irises that have made it so strenuous to conceal her true feelings for the unspeakably magnificen-

“NO!” She forcefully interrupted her thought process. She needed to get her mind off it, so she hastily picked up the magazine again, and flipped it open to a perfume advertisement with a man and a woman holding each other. With desire gripping her flailing determination, Helga’s mind unwillingly pictured the models as Arnold holding herself. She growled, “GRRRUAHH!” and whipped the magazine across the room, smacking hard against her closet door, “God, you’re so neurotic!” She scolded herself, “Enough is enough!”

She just couldn’t wait to graduate this year. Get as far away from this house, her family, this whole damned city!

But mostly, to get the hell away from Arnold.

Arnold was making his way from one class to the next when he spotted her. Her head was halfway in her locker as she was shuffling through books and papers for the next period.

“Hey, Helga.” Arnold greeted calmly.

Arnold observed her whole body freeze for a split second before she asked over her shoulder, “Need something?”

“Oh, uh…” Arnold scratched his neck, “No. Just saying hey.”

Helga turned back to her locker, “Hey.” She replied dully as she began sifting through her schoolwork again.

“Still going to see you at my place tonight?” He inquired gently, “I’ve already started sketching out café blueprints.”

She grabbed the books she needed and slammed her locker, “Yeah, I’ll be there around 4:30.” She affirmed sharply as she spun around and brushed passed him without another word.

Arnold’s eye followed her as she walked by, “Ookay, then.”

Helga knocked on the green door of the old boarding home before shoving her hands in her sweatshirt pockets, though it wasn’t cold. In fact, there wasn’t a cloud in the sky.

The door opened, and a rush of cats, dogs, and even that old pig Abner flowed out from inside, all howling and shrieking as they chased each other out into the street.

Arnold’s Grandma opened the door standing in full scuba-diving gear. Head to toe. She was even donning a colorful innertube around her waist.

Not phased, Helga asked “Is Arnold home?”

“Kimba’s upstairs.” She said, goggles only partially veiling her clever smile, “He’s been expecting you.” She slid out of the way, holding the door open for Helga and giving her a salute before her flippered feet took big steps out the door.

Helga turned around as Arnold was descending the stairs, “It’s for me, Grandma!” He called anxiously on his way down, tensing when he saw Helga already in the entryway, “Oh. Hey.”

Helga lifted her brow at Arnold’s frantic appearance, “Something wrong?”

He let out a breath, “No, everything’s great.” He nodded his head, “Come on up.”

Her heart did a little flip as she followed him, but she quickly willed it to be motionless. There was no need for that here. It was just a school project. She would be in the safety of her own room soon enough, away from him.

Arnold pulled the cord on the ceiling that hid the stairs that lead to his room. Helga noted the side eye he gave her before ascending up the stairs. She ignored it like a pro.

He opened the door to his room. Still the same as it was the last time she was here. The windowed ceiling and retro blue wallpaper. The bed at one end of the room, his desk at the other. Arnold still didn’t know about that night that 5th grade Helga broke in and slept in the cutout in the wall behind the couch.

What stupid kid would do such an idiotic thing? She internally interrogated herself.

Arnold cleared his throat, “I was wondering if you wanted to study outside? It’s the first warm day in months, and I’ve got my stuff up there already.”

“Alright.” Helga shrugged with half lidded eyes.

“Great.” Arnold climbed up the built-in ladder and crawled through the already opened windowpane.

Following him, Helga enjoyed the smell of the fresh spring air that met her nose as she stepped on the roof. It was truly a glorious day, and she fully comprehended it when she looked up to the open, blue sky and embraced the feeling of the warm sun on her skin and gentle wind sweeping across her face.

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, enjoying it a second more before looking to see where Arnold went. He had a card table set up with a couple yahoo sodas and an unopened bag of chips.

Her eyes shimmered. Damn. What a way to spend a school night.

“What’s with the snacks?” Helga asked as she pulled out the folding chair and sat down.

Arnold shrugged, “Figured it’d be rude not to share with the whole class.”

Helga lifted a brow, “It’s going to take a lot more than a gas station run to get on my good side.”

Leaning his elbows on the table, Arnold tipped his head, “Oh, so I’m still on your bad side, then?”

Recoiling slightly, Helga blinked, “Excuse me?”

He shrugged again before reaching over to pop off the bottle caps, “It’s been a while since you’ve let me know. So, I just wasn’t sure.”

At that Helga’s eyes widened, but she furrowed her brow before she could allow herself to blush, “Only an idiot like you needs to be reminded, Football head.” She crossed her arms stubbornly.

A lazy, contented grin spread across Arnold’s face as he passed her a cold bottle. Helga snatched it from him and took three huge gulps of the effervescent beverage before boorishly wiping off her lips with the back of her hand. Then, after slamming the bottle down on the table, she growled, “Let’s see those blueprints. I’m not here for chatter.”

Helga had a difficult time slowing her racing heart. Was he… flirting just now? Either way, her old ways of covering up her fondness for him with hostility haven’t changed one bit. Only after they started working on the project did she begin to relax a little.

When they were focused on the project, interacting with Arnold actually felt natural. Helga could make some of the crucial decisions and Arnold thrived in the little details.

Between talking about the project, Arnold carried most of the conversation, effortlessly floating from one topic to the next as his eyes remained on the new sketches he was drafting. Though Helga mostly just added some unexceptional “Mhm’s” and an “Uh-huh’s” between crunching on chips. The evening was…

Ah, who was she kidding? It was absolutely heavenly.

Once in a while, Helga would lift her eyes to the pale blue sky as she listened to his gentle voice talking about this and that. She pondered whether or not the universe was generous and kind - or cruel and heartless for giving her this evening with him.

The sun was hanging low in the sky and the shadows grew tall when Arnold lifted his head, “Oh, it’s getting kind of late, huh?”

“I guess it is.”

“This is…” Arnold surveyed the work they did, then lifted her eyes to her, “We make a great team, don’t we?”

Her insides sparkled with keenness, and she hated herself for it.
Her face grew warm and flush, and she hated herself for it.
She bit her lip and rubbed her bicep bashfully and she hated herself for it!

Helga cleared her throat and shook her head, “Well, yeah if by ‘great team’, you mean me! It’s like I have to do everything!”

With a roll of his eyes, Arnold grinned with a chuckle, “Just get out of here already.”

As she threw her arms in the air, Helga scoffed, “Finally! I thought I was never going to be able to leave! I’m not your hostage, Arnoldo.”

As she collected her things and made her way to the window, Arnold droned, “I’ll see you at school tomorrow, Helga.” with an unenthusiastic tone that did not in any way match his satisfied expression.

“Yeah whatever, Football head.” She called to him before disappearing into his room.

After organizing his homework and brushing his teeth, Arnold laid in his bed, staring at the night sky above him, only a few stars poking through the polluted atmosphere.

It had been an unexpectedly nice day. Helga was mostly quiet, but a little bit of her surly personality shined through, like the tiny star spots above him.

He could see her. The old, strong-willed Helga. The notorious, tough Helga. She was in there somewhere, but something was keeping her from being herself. What it was, Arnold didn’t know. If he had to guess, it was her home-life, but honestly, that wasn’t any of Arnold’s business.

But something deep inside him wanted to know. Out of all the kids from PS 118 that Arnold thought he’d be worrying about his senior year; Helga was the last. Or at least low on the list.

But the way she closed her eyes as she stepped out on the roof, or the few times she paused what she was doing, just to look up into the sky for a moment… Arnold caught that. It was like the gears in her mind were cranking. Like her eyes searching for an answer to all of life’s questions in the sky.

It made Arnold’s heart wobble a little. If Gerald, Sid or even Stinky were in a mood like that, Arnold would be prying it out of them, or at least giving them an option to share what’s on their mind.

He gave Helga no such option. Which made sense. They weren’t close. At least not anymore. But Arnold and Helga have known each other for a long time; long enough that Arnold felt that he should be there for her.

His mind involuntarily shifted to his ex. Her name was Tabitha. She was pleasant, and so, so beautiful. But shortly after they started dating, she would get in these pensive moods, and never share what bothered her… That is, until the end of their relationship. Tabitha laid everything out on the table by admitting that Arnold’s grandparents made her uncomfortable, especially his grandma. Complaining that the boarding house smelled funny, and she didn’t like going to Arnold’s house unless they stayed in his room.

They had been together for almost four months before she delivered that crushing blow. She leaned forward to apologetically kiss him, but Arnold withdrew coldly and immediately broke it off. In the days and weeks after the break-up, many of the boarders came forward with stories about how rude Tabitha was to them in private, or simply when Arnold wasn’t around to hear. He was so wounded to hear that. The boarders were like family. His grandparents are his family.

So, yeah… Tabitha was an incredibly beautiful girl, but hideous on the inside. It’s just a shame it took so long for Arnold to see it.

He rolled over to his side, knowing that Helga’s dimmed spirit was entirely different from his ex’s selfish pouting. Which gave him the determination to find out what was bothering Helga. Nothing over the top, just checking in.

As an old friend.

Chapter Text

Helga picked up her tray in the lunch line, hoping that Phoebe got to their usual table already. She drummed her fingers on the underside of the tray as she waited patiently for the line to move. The high school’s cafeteria was ten times the cafeteria at PS 118. Better food. Bigger space. Tall windows to stare out of when she sat alone.

She stepped up and let the lunch lady set a bowl of beef stew and dinner roll on her tray. Though most kids complained about having stew or chili for lunch, Helga secretly loved it. It was what she imagined a home-cooked meal would taste like. Though it never compared to the delicious meals served at Phoebe’s house.

At big Bob and Miriam’s? Other than the extravagant family meals Olga whipped together when she came home, Helga was usually just making a PBJ or pouring herself a bowl of cereal. Criminy, it’s not like her parents couldn’t afford good food! It was sickening how much Helga ate cereal for dinner. Although, the TV Dinners weren’t always terrible...

After dishing up some sliced fruit and grabbing a carton of chocolate milk, Helga made her way to her and Phoebe’s regular spot. Phoebe pushed up her glasses as she opened her neatly organized bento.

Helga threw herself in the chair next to her best friend, “What’s shakin’ Pheebs?”

“Hello, Helga.” Phoebe smiled pleasantly at her, “I’m doing well, how are you?”

“Meh.” Helga shrugged as she poked around the stew with her spoon, “You still down for Saturday?”

“Oh, I wouldn’t miss it!” Phoebe’s shoulders tensed with excitement, “It’s been ages since I’ve been to a movie. Especially one so…”

“So rated R?” Helga flashed her an impish smile. Turning 18 definitely had its perks.

“Shhh!” Phoebe leaned forward with a whisper, “Yes!”

Helga’s friendship with Phoebe was like a lifeline. She was so innocent and caring and being around her always was wind in Helga’s sails. Every once in a while Phoebe made things complicated by asking questions that force Helga to think about life stuff, but would usually back off when Helga started getting annoyed.

“Yeah, I just can’t wait to sit down with my bucket of buttered popcorn, a huge yahoo soda, sit back, relax, and-“

Someone set down their tray next to Helga and she snapped her gaze up to meet Arnold hovering above her. Helga’s whole body tensed as she looked back at Phoebe.

“Sit back, relax and what?” Gerald asked curiously as he sat down next to Phoebe.

Arnold cautiously lowered himself to the chair as Helga stammered for a response, “Oh, uh, well w-we were just, uh-“

“We’re going to a movie on Saturday.” Phoebe proclaimed, then raised a dainty finger in the air, “Girls only.” She met Helga’s deer-in-the-headlights expression and gave an affirming wink.

If Helga didn’t know any better, there was a legitimate halo materializing over Phoebe’s head. Bless that saint of a best friend.

“What movie are you guys watching?” Arnold asked.

“Oh, just some chick flick.” Phoebe waved her hand, “You would hate it.”

It was all Helga could do to keep herself from falling on the floor and kissing Phoebe’s feet. ‘Exterminate Protocol 3’ wasn’t exactly a chick flick. There was action, violence, and buff men with their shirts off. I love you, Phoebe, you beautiful, brilliant liar!

“I don’t know,” Arnold lifted a spoonful of hot stew to his lips, “I wouldn’t mind heading to the movies.”

Helga’s brow furrowed in frustration, “Girls. Only.” She growled low through gritted teeth.

Gerald leaned forward in his classic sly manner, “Arnold. While these girls are watching their tear-jerker, I have better plans.”

Arnold perked up, “And what plans might those be?”

“Hey!” Gerald smiled cleverly, “Have I ever let you down?”

“No, Gerald.” Arnold grinned back, “Never.”

Gerald, Phoebe and Arnold continued to chat as lunch hour waned. Helga couldn’t stand it. She didn’t even have two minutes of peace with Phoebe, before the two hair boys crashed it. Helga mostly kept her mouth stuffed with food; her eyes cast out the window next to their table.

After some casual conversation between the three of them, Gerald and Phoebe started talking amongst themselves.

Arnold nudged Helga in the arm, “Your place tonight?”

Helga stood, all the tension in her cutting loose, “Yeah, alright? Do you have to check every time?” She scowled down at him, “I mean, this is a school project, not working on the international space station! Criminy!”

Arnold blinked, taken aback, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to bother you.”

“Yeah, well, this whole thing is a bother! In fact, I’m just ready for this ridiculous project to be over!” She grabbed her mostly empty tray and lifted it, “Don’t ask me again, or you can do the whole thing yourself.” She huffed as she stormed off.

Arnold looked down at his tray as his shoulders slumped in disappointment. Not exactly the response he was expecting from the girl he shared a bag of chips with last night. He didn’t even get a football head or Arnoldo in there. There was no joking or teasing in there, just pure irritation.

But he didn’t do a damn thing wrong! Although now that he was thinking about it, Helga used to do this. An element he’d all but forgotten of their past childhood friendship. She used to get upset with him about the dumbest stuff when they were kids.

Phoebe sat across from Arnold watching Helga intently as she stormed off. After Helga was out of sight, Phoebe’s eyes met Arnold’s, but she said nothing. Though Arnold could tell she knew something he didn’t…

Helga bee-lined it to the bathroom, slamming and locking the stall door once inside. Her stomach swirled, but soothed as she let out a deep, fluttering sigh.

Then after years of preventing it, Helga finally, delightfully surrendered to her fondness for him. Her longing for him. For Arnold! Oh, Arnold! How her hand trembles to touch his corn flour hair, to hold the face of her most cherished one. How she craves to confess, to speak the-

She cut off her passionate thoughts and made fists, “Get a hold of yourself!” She snarled at herself. All this work, all the heartache, all the incomprehensible, emotional labor she hurled herself through just get over that football headed dweeb with the… kindest, most generous soul and eyes she could curl up and die in. Lips that have haunted her most amorous dreams. Whose enrapturing aura has the power keep her up at ni-

She punched the stall door, causing the all the stalls to shake, “ENOUGH!”

A startled yip from three stalls over met her ears. Probably some freshman…

Helga rolled her eyes, “Er, Sorry…”

“S’okay.” The high pitched voice replied, but whoever it was quickly washed their hands and left.

Helga made her way home, still simmering about Arnold. Why did he have to be so… Ugh! She took the long way home, through the park. It had gotten cold and dreary outside, but she walked slow. The overcast sky accurately reflected her emotions.

Her mind had flip-flopped between loving and hating him so many times, she truly wondered how her younger self had ever lived with it. It was enough to make her want to scream. After all this time of mastering the craft of indifference, diligently building that wall of apathy that remained so strong for so long… It seems all for not. That huge wall she built is knocked down effortlessly by Arnold’s gentle presence. Like it was made with straw and tissue paper. The stone-cold mask she always wore was beginning to break. Cracking with every kind gesture, a new fracture with every soft spoken word.

Upon arriving at her house, Helga reached for the doorknob, but recoiled when she heard her parents fighting within. They used to just ignore each other, but now fighting has become an almost everyday occurrence. Miriam being drunk and irresponsible and Big Bob being a knuckle-dragging narcissist.

Match made in heaven…

After dropping her backpack, Helga leaned against the door and let her back slide down until her butt hit the cement. What was the point of this marriage if all they do is despise each other?

She decided to go in as soon as everything cooled down, but it just kept going. Miriam started weeping like a kid who dropped her ice cream. Bob still hollering like a buffoon.

Helga put her face in her hands as rain began sprinkling down. In her irritation about everything, she ripped off her pink bow and threw it on the ground, it fell two stairs below where she sat. She didn’t even know what she felt anymore. Especially about Arnold. It was all too much too sudden.

“… Helga?”

Her heart skipped hard. He was early. Really early. Time seemed to have stood still. She slowly raised her head to see Arnold standing on the sidewalk below, his face almost at eye level. Arnold was wearing a grey rain jacket, holding her bow in his hand. Her mouth opened to say something, but nothing came out. She sat there, dumbfounded, her heartrate accelerating to an uncomfortable speed.

“Helga…” He delicately repeated her name, “Are you okay?”

Her eyes darted back at fourth between his, her mouth agape. The overcast clouds and shimmering rain visually distorted the world around her, but somehow Arnold was so surreally crystal clear. Everything in her mind slowed and sped up at the same time, her emotions bouncing all over the place.

After a quiet moment Arnold stepped forward, “I’m worried about you, Helga.”

Her heart skipped again… Worried? About me?

After he obviously overheard the brawling from behind inside, Arnold ascended the cement stairs and offered her his hand, “Let’s get out of here.”

She slowly lowered her eyes to his hand, then warily took it, permitting Arnold to help her up. It was unusual to not get up off her ass on her own. To dust off her shoulders, grit her teeth and carry on unaided.

But to once be on her feet, to look up and see Arnold was still there, his eyes riddled with concern... To stand up and see this wasn’t a fantasy, or delusion. He was really standing there, helping her up, worried about her. This was truly reality. It simultaneously made Helga’s heart flutter and gut turn into knots.

The trickling rain grew into a sudden and aggressive downpour. Arnold quickly took off his rain jacket and threw it around her shoulders. It was still warm from the heat of his body.

“C’mon.” He flipped the hood over her head sweetly, “We’ll head to my place.” He hopped down the stairs into the pouring rain, then looked back, gesturing once with his head.

As if she was hypnotized, she followed him. Drawn to him like a magnet. Saying nothing, just entranced by him and his thoughtfulness.

The walk was wet and cold, but mostly quiet as they made their way to the boarding house, aside from the loud rain and cars driving by. Arnold had gotten completely drenched before they were even halfway there, but it wasn’t as noticeable until after they had stepped inside. His normally bright feathery hair was dark and hung low from getting soaked. His t-shirt and flannel stuck to his body, which had to be as uncomfortable as it looked. In the entry way, Helga handed him his jacket with a little nod. As he took it from her, through chattering teeth, Arnold flashed Helga a look. A smile. It was shrewd. Playful.

Helga looked away. Unable to grasp what was even happening.

Arnold’s grandma thumped her cowboy boots into the hall, her spurs clinked as she stopped right before them “Why, you look frozen to the bone, tex!” she exclaimed in a southern drawl.

Helga turned to see Arnold’s grandma in the whole getup. Cowboy hat, spurs, chaps, vest with fringe. For the first time that evening, the hint of a smirk toyed on Helga’s face at the image of the vivacious old women.

“I’ll make you two cowpokes a pot of coffee and some beans.” She waved them into the kitchen, “Cornbread is in the oven.”

Arnold said nothing, cautiously side eyeing Helga who didn’t hesitate to follow his grandma.

“Have a seat, Daisy.” Grandma cawed, “You’re lookin’ all skin and bones! I’ll put some weenies in the beans for ya.”

Arnold’s grandpa set his newspaper down on the table, “Ohhh look, pookie! It’s that mean girl from Arnold’s elementary school!”

“Grandpa…” Arnold sighed, clearly uneasy.

“Arnold! You’re soaked!” Grandpa exclaimed, “Go change before you catch a cold!”

Grandma quietly ladled beans into one of the many mismatched bowls from their cupboard and set them in front of Helga. Then a cup of plain black coffee.

Though he himself didn’t mind grandma’s lone ranger meals, Arnold was frowning at the food from the kitchen doorway, thinking that Helga is probably disgusted.

Helga lifted the coffee cup to her nose, enjoying the mug’s warmth as Arnold wavered in the kitchen.

“Go on, Shortman!” Grandpa shooed Arnold with both arms waving, “Before I change you myself, you soggy nincompoop!”

Arnold finally brought himself to pull away from the three of them. Tabitha would be making up some excuse to get out of there, no doubt… He couldn’t help but feel terrible about his ex’s behavior. Apparently, one time when Arnold excused himself, Mr. Hwynn asked if Tabitha was feeling well, because she hadn’t eaten anything. Tabitha responded with, ‘I can’t eat this. In fact, it’s hard to watch you guys eat it.’

Honestly, it was probably a good thing Arnold wasn’t there at that moment, because it might have gotten dramatic.

As Arnold threw on fresh, dry clothes in his room, he decided that he was going to do something he never ever did; Eavesdrop. It was shifty, no doubt. Not really Arnold’s style. But he’ll be damned if another friend treats his family that way ever again.

He tiptoed his way down the hall and hovered his ear over the vent that sat just above the kitchen. He heard grandma humming the tune ‘oh my darling, clementine’ while pulling the cornbread out of the oven. Grandpa was snickering at something.

“I totally forgot about that Chinese checkers tournament.” Helga’s voice came to his ear. It surprisingly sounded friendly. Upbeat, even.

“Yeah, yeah I kicked that Robbie Fischer’s butt!” Grandpa exclaimed proudly, “Against Steely Phil, he didn’t stand a chance.”

“I remember the flustered look on that guy’s face when you won.”

“Oh yeah!” Grandpa chuckled, “That insufferable old coot.”

Then, Arnold heard it. Something he hasn’t heard in years. Helga’s laugh. It was softer than it used to be, but too hearty to be considered a giggle. It was authentic and stout, reminiscent of the sound of her old cackle, but relaxed and unpretentious. The sound of her short-lived laughter was something Arnold didn’t even know he wanted to hear until now.

“Would you like a slice of cornbread, Ms. Oakley?”

“Yes, please.” Helga responded.

“Oh, and you look like you could use some more beans. Help yourself, darlin’!”

Arnold’s eyes widened. She’s…

He stood and rushed down the stairs, halting outside the doorway of the kitchen. The three of them were making light conversation. Grandpa crossed his ankle casually over his knee, relaxed back. Grandma was pouring them more coffee. Helga rested her cheek on her knuckles comfortably. All of them wearing calm grins, chatting casually.

Arnold stepped into the kitchen. Grandpa perked up at the sight of his grandson, “That’s more like it, Shortman!”

Just like earlier that day, Helga’s smile vanished abruptly the second Arnold was back in the kitchen. Arnold noticed her shift in demeanor. It was hard not to notice, honestly.

“So, what are you two kids up to today?” Grandpa asked while Grandma brought the pot of beans over to the table.

Arnold pulled out the chair next to Helga and sat down, “We’ve been working on a school project. It’s been coming along nicely.” He shot Helga a smile, but she kept her avoiding eyes down to her coffee, anxiously thumbing the sides of the warm mug.

“So, uh…” Arnold crossed his arms uncomfortably, “Yeah.” He snapped his gaze back to grandpa, “It’s been great.”

Grandpa’s expression indicated that he noticed Helga’s shift too, while grandma pleasantly bustled around the kitchen, still blissfully humming that aged tune.

There was an awkward lull in the conversation, and Grandpa sat up, “Pookie! Look what time it is! Our favorite show is on.” He chuckled uncomfortably as he stood and ushered Grandma out of the room, “This was nice, we’ll have to do it again sometime!” He called behind his shoulder while grandma’s boots thudded gracelessly behind him.

Arnold and Helga watched them depart from the kitchen, then for a brief second, their eyes met, and Helga snapped her gaze away.

“Helga, is something wrong?” Arnold asked immediately.

She coiled her brow, “What? No.”

“Then why do you seem so upset?”

“W-well, that’s just- Why would…” Helga stumbled, then abruptly stood from her chair, “Maybe I should just go back home.” And started for the hall.

Arnold stood and firmly grabbed her wrist, “Wait.”

Helga eyed him from over her shoulder, her face quickly reddening.

He exhaled, “I don’t know what I did or said but… It’s me, isn’t it?”

Her eyes widened just enough to answer that question before she ripped her wrist away from his grasp and made her way to the door.

“Wait!” He pleaded, “Can’t we talk about this?”

She said nothing and kept walking.

“We still have the project!” He scrambled, “Please stay.”

She lifted her backpack over her shoulder.

Arnold grabbed his raincoat from the hook, “At least take this! It’s still pouring out there!”

She swung open the door, the trickling noises and fresh smell of rain flowed inside the boardinghouse. She looked at Arnold briefly, this time with a grimace, before she snatched the jacket from his hand and slammed the door.

Arnold scoffed frustratedly, then let his tense shoulders loosen in realization, “It really is me…” He remarked sadly to himself.

Once at home, Helga flew up the stairs, and slammed her door shut, locking it securely. She leaned forward, bracing herself on her knees as she caught her breath from running all the way from Arnold’s.

Arnold’s dripping jacket hung from her shoulders. She touched the rain droplets that spattered across the waterproof sleeve with her fingertips. The jacket was just a little big for Helga but smelled pleasantly like him.

Helga’s heart stammered as she slipped off the jacket and hung it on her bedroom doorknob. After everything that just happened, how could Helga feel anything other than embarrassed for how she acted? But her embarrassment was short-lived. Because it was overtaken by the sprouting ache that she once buried so deep. Her once dead affections burst forth from its tomb that Helga so securely locked within the catacombs of her soul. She clutched at her shirt and fell back on her bed as the energy from the tender affection for her first love irresistibly surfaced.

The memory of feeling his warm hand taking hers. The genuine look of concern that splayed across his handsome face. The sound of desperation in his voice, ‘please stay’.

Oh please! Will she ever find peace from her miserable pining for him? Will this boy forever make her every breath short from arduous passion?

She bit her lips. The same lips she wished to touch his, slow and tentative. The lips of Arnold. Arnold!

“Arnold…” She whispered hoarsely, “My love. My most beloved one.” Her heart thumped heavily in her chest, hearing herself quietly confess aloud her feelings to her empty room, “I have always loved you, Arnold. From the moment we met as children, I knew you were the one I wanted to be with.”

Helga swallowed hard, feeling a bit feverish, “When you chose another, I was so heartbroken, that I tried to snuff out the flame of my perpetual fondness for you. To desperately subdue the warmth that spreads through me when you simply look at me.”

Though she felt a little rusty in her spontaneous poetry, the words flowed from her fluidly, the pure truth in them comforting her like a familiar friend.

Beads of tears formed on the sides on her eyes, “Though I treated you like a stranger, you never left my mind. Against my every wish and will, my heart has disobediently remained loyal to you! Your attention has always been my despairing desire. And one day…” She gulped again, breathlessly, “Soon I pray… I will have the courage. The spine. The fortitude to declare my love to you. The same love for you that deep down, I know I’ve had all along.”

Helga suddenly stopped speaking. The room was dark and silent, her whispered expressions permeated in the air before her. After a few minutes of allowing her heart rate to slow, she slid off her bed and glided to her closet. On the top shelf and behind some sweaters was a small carboard box. She slid the box off the shelf and immediately set it on the floor, crouching to open it.

Her old locket was the first item to reach her eyes, and she pulled it out without hesitation. The familiar photo of 4th grade Arnold within the heart-shaped pendant stared back at her as her fingertips grazed its surface. He was so young in this photo, practically a baby.

“What a dweeb.” She chuckled as she set it down beside her and pulled out one of her old poetry journals.

She skimmed through a few of the juvenile verses, thankful that her handwriting and creative poetry skills have improved since then.

‘Cowlicks, like fields of yellow corn’ and ‘Oh, orzo shaped Prometheus’ were two especially enjoyable lines from her prepubescent tome. But as she read on, and clearly got older, her entries became a little heavier and weren’t so poorly articulated.

‘Alas, if only our hearts, our souls, our very beings could so infinitely entangle.’

‘Why must I constantly push away that to which I would cleave?’

“Whoa…” Helga breathed as she read, suddenly feeling like she had the emotional intelligence of a baboon. This was written years ago, and her feelings are still back in square one! She’s an 18 year old and relating to herself at 9 years old! She rubbed the side of her face as she fully comprehended just how not normal this is.

She was never going to be able to get over him if she didn’t do something. Say something! She had to do it. She must! There were only two months left of high school, and then what? Arnold and Helga go to separate colleges and Helga never sees him again until their 15 year high school reunion?

She envisioned it. The future high school reunion. The gymnasium filled with balloons and streamers, everybody passing cups of punch that Curly unavoidably spiked, that is if he’s not in jail at that point. Helga will bust into the gym fashionably late, adorned in the finest apparel and jewelry money can buy, because, of course, Helga will be a highly successful multi-millionaire by then. She’ll strut in, show off her great life, tell the best jokes, and carry on with her a sparkling, luxurious aura.

That is, until… Arnold walks in.

He’ll be in a simple shirt and tie, sleeves rolled up his forearms, hand in hand with his wife. A wife, who is… not Helga. Everyone greets him with handshakes and smiles. He introduces his pleasant, lovely wife to everyone, telling stories about how they met in college. He’ll be working two jobs, in the middle of paying off a mortgage as well as student loans, maybe have a few little ones at home with the babysitter, but happy to be there, seeing everyone again.

Suddenly, Helga’s sparkling aura will fade dark as her lavish, expensive existence paled in comparison to what it must be like to be Arnold’s wife. There wasn’t a price tag on the way he looks at her, or gently touches her waist as he proudly talked about her, even after years of being married. There wasn’t a price Millionaire Helga wouldn’t pay to have a chance at that with him. That 33 year old woman from 15 years in the future would no doubt spend her every last dime to be in 18 year old Helga’s shoes right now. To have one last chance in this time, where Arnold is not only single, but also cares enough about Helga to help her up and throw his jacket around her. That wealthy, yet incredibly sad woman longs to reach back in time just to aggressively shake her 18-year-old self, scream the question, why in the hell aren’t you telling him?! Throw caution to the wind and confess everything – even just for the off chance. The slim opportunity. Why the hell aren’t you stomping down the stairs, picking up the phone, and calling him this very moment?!

As Helga’s mind snapped back to her present reality, her older self’s voice echoed in her brain. Her hands that held her diary trembling lightly, as her decision to confess solidified. She snapped the book shut.

Yes. She was going to do it. She was going to declare her love to him. She had to! As a promise to her future self, she had to at least try!

As she stood, she started feeling a little dizzy.

She sat carefully on the bed, “Maybe I should call Phoebe, first.” She rubbed her forehead, “But-“

Her future self’s voice reverberated in her mind ‘this very moment!’

“No.” She stood, “I need to call Arnold.” Even if it was just a baby step, not fully confessing, but at least something.

The house was quiet and vacant, her parents were nowhere to be found. Helga’s legs felt wobbly as she tiptoed her way down the stairs and through the hall where the Pataki’s telephone waited for her. With her hand hovering over the receiver, she let out one last shaky sigh before she picked it up.

Her heart pumped heavier and heavier with every number she pushed, and as the line rang, her throat grew dry. The ring trilled in her ear a second time, and she placed her palm on her chest, unsuccessfully urging her pulse slow. The third ring only trilled halfway when someone picked up, “Howdy, partner!”

It was Arnold’s grandma Gertie.

“Hello, uh-” Helga’s finger twirled around the spiraled phone cord, “Is um, i-is Arnold there?” her voice shrilled slightly, signifying her nervousness.

“Why, ol’ Wyatt’s upstairs!” The lone ranger replied, not paying any mind, “Just hold on a sec.” She set the phone down.

Helga could hear muted sounds from the TV in the background and the squeaking of the stair boards that Grandma ascended to retrieve Arnold. The ambient noise from the boarding house in her ear was a little comforting. Then after about a minute or two, she heard the light crackles and pops of someone picking up the phone.

“Hello?” Arnold’s voice came through.

“Arnold?” She bit her lip.

“Helga?” He said her name in mild disbelief.

She picked at the wallpaper, “Y-yeah…” She swallowed in an effort to wet her dried mouth.

“Is everything okay?”

“Yeah I just, um… Yeah everything’s okay” She stumbled, “Listen, I uh, just wanted to apologize for leaving the way I did… It was immature of me, and I… I wanted to let you know that I’m sorry.”

Arnold exhaled unsteadily, “Well, I’m sorry…”

“For what?” Helga asked a little too quickly.

“I don’t know!” He sounded defensive “For doing whatever I did that made you so upset.”

The childish, familiar urge to destroy every scrap of evidence that she liked him by hastily barraging him with insults bubbled up inside her. It was all she could do to keep herself from aggressively hanging up on him. Or just trying to make her feel bigger or better than him. Or just yell ‘Psych!’ in the phone and pretend that she was pranking him or something.

But Helga didn’t do any of those things. For what felt like the first time in her life, she punched down those immature, hostile impulses and committed herself to the promise she made to her future self a mere 2 minutes ago.

She gulped, “You have no reason to be sorry, Arnold.” Her voice was unexpectedly calm, even to herself, “You’ve done absolutely nothing wrong.”

“…O-oh.” Arnold silently searched for his words, “A-are you sure? Because sometimes, it feels like I’m the cause of all your problems or something.”

If only he knew how close to the truth that was… Helga exhaled, “Well you’re not.” She half-lied, “But I was wondering…” she took a second to internally coerce herself, “If I could take you up on your offer to talk about it sometime?”

There was beat of silence that felt like an eternity, and it made Helga’s heartrate skyrocket. But there it was. An olive branch extended. An offer to get just a tiny bit closer to him. With her suggestion out in the open, Helga felt vulnerable and exposed. She pressed the phone firmly against her ear, hoping that the line didn’t cut out, so she didn’t have to repeat it.

Then Arnold’s voice came to her ear, soft and sweet, “Just tell me when and where.” He said resolutely, “I’ll be there.”

She leaned her forehead against the wall and closed her eyes, “Okay… Thanks.” She murmured.

“Of course.” He mirrored her lightened tone.

A lull in the conversation transpired, but it somehow wasn’t awkward. Maybe she was full of it, but was almost as if he was silently smiling at her. She twisted the coiled phone cord again, “So… I’ll see you at school tomorrow?”

“Yeah. I’ll see you there.” His voice indicated he was indeed grinning.

“Okay.” She blushed as her shiny eyes lowered to the wood floor.

“Helga?”

“Yeah?”

“You and I are good, though? Right?”

Her stomach did a little flip, “Yeah.” Helga said quietly.

“And we’re still project partners?”

She nodded without reason, “Yeah.” She repeated, trying to keep her cool, “Oh, and please thank your grandma for dinner. That was good.”

Arnold chuckled, “Will do… I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Yeah, see you.” She slouched the side of her body into the wall, as if to lean into this moment with him.

“Goodnight, Helga.”

She faltered, briefly, before pushing herself to respond into the quiet line, “Goodnight, Arnold.”

Then, Helga heard the ambient noise from the boarding house persist for a short moment longer, then the sound of Arnold hanging up with a gentle click.

Helga slowly lowered the phone into the receiver, body still pushed against the wall. Not a sound except the whirr from the refrigerator in the kitchen. She didn’t move as her mind circled around the conversation.

At first, she didn’t think about anything except for how wonderful his voice is over the phone. Then, she pondered the nitty gritty. What she said, what he said, if she was too forward, or maybe not forward enough, if he really meant ‘when and where’, or was he just trying to be nice.

After overthinking the phone call in the hallway for several minutes, she finally pushed herself off the wall and sauntered up the stairs, only to overthink it more as she brushed her teeth, threw on pajamas, and crawled into bed.

Under her cool covers, she continued to contemplate her and Arnold. Stewing with many emotions, but mainly fear, she curled her body into the fetal position, hoping beyond hope that the small off chance was truly there… because God only knew how terrified she truly was right now. Even though Arnold would no doubt let her down gently, with kindness and empathy, it would still be the single hardest thing she would ever have to experience.

To be unwanted by the only one she wanted. To be rejected by perhaps the only one her heart will ever love. To one day soon wake up to the hideous reality that Arnold would never, ever return her deep, wholehearted feelings.

Her eyes misted and the lump in her throat danced. The image of her 30+ year old self, standing sad and alone in the high school reunion flickered in her mind, and it made a single tear slip down her face.

There was no winning him if she didn’t try. And now was the only time. It felt despairing.

The only thing that gave her hope in this moment was the memory of his soft, calm voice reverberating in her mind…

‘Just tell me when and where. I’ll be there… Goodnight, Helga.’

Chapter Text

Helga thumped her tray down next to Phoebe, “What’s up, Pheebs?”

“Happy Friday, Helga.” Phebe sweetly greeted, “Tomorrow is the day!” She lifted her tiny shoulders in excitement, “Do you have the tickets?”

“Safe and sound on my nightstand at home.” She lifted a fork of mediocre meatloaf to her mouth, “Less than 24 hours until the movie of our lifetime.”

Phoebe quietly squealed, and Helga chuckled. Phoebe is such a sweet girl; Helga would have never guessed that bringing over a grisly violence-packed movie to her house freshman year would have become Phoebe’s little obsession.

“Want to stay over tonight? We can watch the first two movies!”

“Hell yeah.” Helga nodded. Honestly, anything to get her mind off of Arnold. Today was the day. Now or never, and Helga would put it off until 11:59pm if she could.

Helga sighed, looking out the window, smile waning. Her heart rate surged as her mind thought about how and when she was going to tell him. Tell him everything. She hadn’t seen him in the halls yet today, which was wonderful and horrible at the same time.

She was just glad she had the movie to look forward to tomorrow. Something to get her mind off it at least for a little while.

Helga’s eyes withdrew from the window back to Phoebe, and her whole body froze when she saw that Gerald was now sitting next to her. Gerald next to Phoebe, only meant that Arnold was-

Her head jerked to see an empty seat next to her, which made her immediately scan the cafeteria for him. He was nowhere to be found.

Phoebe’s voice asked the question that ricocheted through Helga’s mind.

“Where is Arnold?”

Gerald rested his elbow on the table casually, “At home, sick. He called me this morning asking to pick up his homework.”

All the tightness in Helga’s neck and shoulders loosened. He wasn’t here. She didn’t have to say anything to him, at least not yet, because – Her jaw fell in realization. The rain yesterday! He must have gotten sick because of-

“Shit!” Helga cursed sharply aloud under her breath.

Both Gerald and Phoebe looked at her with expressions of surprise and confusion.

Helga gulped, “I uuhh… Just forgot something… I-in my locker?”

Gerald’s expression turned blank, “Why don’t you… go get it?”

Phoebe turned to quickly push the conversation forward, “Helga is spending the night at my place tonight.”

“Oh yeah?” Gerald smiled at his cute girlfriend, “What are you-“

Helga abruptly stood, pushing the chair out behind her, cutting Gerald off. She looked down at the food she hardly touched, suddenly not feeling hungry at all. She was sick of Phoebe covering for her. Being a social shield for her. Helga was tired of pretending she was something she was not – pretending that she was someone who was not completely and utterly in love.

“Helga…” Phoebe whispered, “Is something wrong?”

“Everything’s great.” Helga faked a smile, “I’ll see you tonight Phoebe.” She pushed her chair in and left them, dumping her mostly full tray before exiting the cafeteria.

She strolled through the empty hallways and up the stairs with a crushed spirit. As dramatic as it may be, Helga felt like she made Arnold ill. Though her soul had been tormented with love for him for almost her entire life, she couldn’t help but feel guilty.

She pushed the doors open to the roof of the school building. Cold, spring air swept strongly against her, and the partly cloudy sky greeted her vibrantly.

Thankful the roof was empty, she rested her forearms on the rooftop’s ledge, peering out over the sprawling, familiar city. Hillwood. The countless buildings were colorful and old. There were thousands of people who lived here, making a life, finding a way. Working, living, enduring. So many unique people with different stories, families, backgrounds, beliefs. Appearances, talents, cultures, and lifestyles. Yet, there was only one person, in this city filled with vibrance.

Only one did her mind, heart, and very soul cling to.

Helga rested her chin in her arms and closed her eyes.

Why? She thought; Why must it have been this day? Why must my convictions be shaken? Why must the universe make the most difficult thing she’ll ever have to do, even harder?

Her head popped off her arms as an idea ignited in her brain.

“Soup!” She said out loud. That’s it! She’ll bring him some soup and wish him well. That’s what normal people do, right? She’ll stop by on her way to Phoebe’s tonight. There was a restaurant near her house that serves a chicken broth that could possibly grow a limb back. There it is. That’s the plan.

After school, she’ll go home, pack for the sleep over, buy a cup of soup, drop by the boarding house on her way to Phoebe’s, and then…

And then…

Then what? What would she say?

‘Hey Arnold. Here’s some soup. I hope you feel better. Oh, by the way I’ve been completely infatuated with you ever since the moment we met when we were 4. Bye!’

A lonely, miserable groan escaped her. It was a bad idea. Besides, Gertie had probably already made something good for him.

It was useless, her confession would have to wait. The only way to push forward with this is by talking about it with Phoebe tonight.

Though she had never had a candid conversation with Phoebe about her crush on Arnold before, Helga always had more than an inkling that Phoebe knew. The last person she confessed to was Lila in elementary school, and though it was cringy, Lila did keep her promise about keeping it quiet. After Middle school, Lila, Stinky, and Nadine went to a different high school across town, and Helga never kept in touch with any of them. Why would she? If it were Phoebe, that would have been a different story entirely. She would have done the same thing Rhonda and Nadine do. They hang out as much as they can and are still best friends.

Even so, Helga couldn’t help but wonder if Lila ever said anything, even in passing. She guessed it didn’t even matter now, knowing Helga admitting her feelings to Arnold was just around the corner.

The bell rang, indicating it was the top of the hour, and lunch was over. She lingered on the roof a few moments more, before walking leisurely to her next class.

Arnold laid in bed staring up at the clouds that rolled by above him. He had been reading for most of the day, but had gotten tired of it, and set it aside to let his mind drift. He checked his clock, which read 3:12. School just got out, so Gerald should be by any minute with his homework.

What a boring day. He supposed he could have gone to school, but he was feeling just sick enough to make him not want others to catch whatever it was.

Helga’s phone call last night was quite a surprise, and he’d been thinking about it on and off throughout the uneventful day. She seemed so… Arnold didn’t even know. It was just so unexpected.

And so nice.

The way Helga has always been in the past, he expected her to snap at him mid-conversation. He internally braced himself for it, but it never came. She was thankful for his grandma’s food and sweetly bid him goodnight. She even said, ‘You have no reason to be sorry, Arnold. You’ve done absolutely nothing wrong.’

It caught him off guard. Truly. He’d never before heard her voice so honest and kind, and though it never mattered before, it seemed like a massive weight lifted off his shoulders. Like he’d been ignoring how much he wanted to hear her say that for ages.

He felt his face get warm and wondered if his fever was coming back. As he touched his forehead with the back of his hand, a soft knock came to the door. It must be Gerald.

“Come in.” Arnold called.

But it wasn’t Gerald who walked in. It was her.

Her hair flowed behind her angelically, and she gazed at him with her beautiful, massive eyes. She had a to-go cup of soup in her hand and a get well soon card in the other.

Arnold sat up in his bed, “Tabitha?”

Helga dropped her duffle bag on Phoebe’s bedroom floor. Her jaw dropped when she saw a full TV set in the corner, “What the?!”

Phoebe shrugged, “My dad helped me bring the TV in here. We can watch it with pillows on the floor.”

Helga chuckled, “Jeez-a-loo, Phoebe. You’ve got it bad for these movies, don’t you?”

Phoebe giggled and waved her off. She popped in the first VHS and the familiar scenes played out. Phoebe watched contentedly on her stomach, pillow tucked under her chest, her feet floating mindlessly in the air above her back.

Helga sat more normal and less… fixated. Helga’s got to hand it to her though, when Phoebe likes something, she really likes it.

Which, Helga can only relate when it comes to Arn- stop.

Stop. Stop. Stop.

Helga disciplined herself. This is best friend time. She can talk to Phoebe later.

But, inevitably, as the movie Helga had seen dozens of times played, within 10 minutes, she started daydreaming about him. His golden hair and hazel green eyes. His kindness and empathy. The fact that she would’ve told him everything today if only he was at school. Now she’ll have to wait until Monday, she supposed. But how would the conversation-

The noise from the movie abruptly stopped, and Helga jerked her head to see that Phoebe had paused it and was now looking directly at her.

“Helga, what’s going on?” Phoebe asked pointedly.

Helga shrugged, “Nothing, why? Why’d you stop the movie?”

Phoebe sighed, “Because you were just staring out the window not even watching it with me!” Phoebe crawled over the pillows to be near her friend, “Tell me what’s wrong.”

Helga gulped. She supposed now was as good of a time as any. “Well. You know how there’s that economics class project we got assigned partners for?”

Phoebe nodded her head, “The one you were assigned to do with Arnold?”

Helga twiddled her thumbs, cheeks burning crimson, “Well, for a long time back when we were kids, I was… I kind of… I liked Arnold, you know?”

Phoebe flashed Helga a low-lidded smile, “You mean ‘ice cream’?”

Ah. So, she did know.

Helga shook her head with a scoff as she slumped forward, a little humiliated, “Yeah… After he started dating that harpy,” She disdained, “I kind of… just…” She trailed off.

Phoebe gave her a moment before just speaking, “Helga, you were a mess.”

Helga’s eyes widened in pause.

“I know it hurt you, Helga.” Phoebe scooted closer and rested her hand on Helga’s shoulder, “I could see it. For a while there, you didn’t act yourself and you always looked tired. I told others that you were studying late, but I knew, Helga. I knew you were feeling wounded… And maybe a little abandoned.”

“You were there for me, though.” Helga countered with a lump in her throat.

Phoebe shrugged, “As much as I could be.”

Helga sniffed and nodded, “Thanks for that. Thanks for everything, Phoebe.”

Phoebe let her hand drop, “It’s my pleasure, Helga. I know Arnold has meant a lot to you.”

“He really has. Still does.” Helga took a deep breath, “And I’m going to tell him. Monday after school.”

“You WHAT?!” Phoebe screamed.

Gerald knocked on the door and didn’t wait for Arnold to answer before barging in.

Arnold was sitting up in his bed reading something, “Hey Gerald.”

“Arnold, I half expected you to be covered in lipstick.”

Arnold cocked his head, “What are you talking about?”

“I just watched Tabitha leave the boarding house as I was walking in.” He crossed his arms and lifted a disapproving brow.

Arnold slouched back, “Yeah, she stopped by with soup.” He gestured over to the coffee table where she left it, the lifted what he was reading, “And she gave me this.”

Gerald strode over to swipe it from him. It was a get well soon card. It read:

“Mm-m!” Gerald clicked his tongue, “Well, at least you know where she stands. What are you going to do?” He handed the card back.

“Nothing… Probably.”

“Probably?” Gerald groaned with tired eyes before conjuring Arnold’s homework from his backpack, “I mean, I get it, she’s hot, but I thought you said you were done with her.”

Arnold shook his head, “I don’t know. I’m just a little confused I guess.”

“About what?!” Gerald protested, “Arnold, the girl’s dishonest and disrespectful! You would never be happy with her, even if you tried. Hell, even if she tried.”

“I know, you’re right, you’re right.” Arnold let out a depressed sigh.

“Listen man, I understand you might be lonely, but you gotta stop thinking about Tabitha de Vil.” Gerald huffed has he set a stack of homework at the foot of the bed and sat next to it, “And just think about things that would make you happy in different girl. Like, part of the reason why I like Phoebe is that she’s considerate of other people’s feelings. And it doesn’t hurt that she’s cute as hell.”

Arnold stared at him blankly, “Okay?”

“Okay!? So! Start thinking about some things you want to see in a girl. Nothing unreal or demanding, just simple stuff.” Gerald waited, “Like, anything. Go.”

Arnold sighed again, “Okay, well… I’d like a girl who, at the very least can be respectful to my family. Tab was apparently incapable of that.”

Gerald nodded, “There you go. What else?” He pressed.

“I don’t know, someone that can appreciate simple things and isn’t high maintenance or overly flashy.”

Gerald chuckled, “So Rhonda Llyod’s out of the picture.”

Arnold smiled, “I suppose so.” Why was this feeling fun? Talking about what he wanted in a girl? Arnold supposed Gerald could make anything fun.

Gerald encouraged him on, “Come on, what else?”

Arnold crossed his arms and smirked, “I guess a pretty girl would be preferable.”

“Patty Smith. Out.” Gerald jested, “See? This is easy.”

Arnold rolled his eyes, then straightened, “And… I think this is a big one… Someone who won’t blame her problems on others. Someone who can take responsibly.”

“Boom. Helga Pataki. Out.”

Arnold’s smile vanished as his thought process halted dead in its tracks. He should have anticipated this, but it unexpectedly came as a punch in the gut. Helga’s softened voice on the phone, ‘I wanted to let you know that I’m sorry.’ Resonated in his brain. Against his will, Arnold’s mouth fell slightly open, and his eyes turned glossy and wide.

“… Out?” the word fell from Arnold pitifully and involuntarily.

Gerald’s expression curled, “Uh, yeah?”

Arnold shook his head to shoo away the bleakness that was unexpectedly cast over him.

“Wait.” Gerald’s eyebrows shot up to the sky, “Helga?”

Arnold blushed, “N-no. Well, I mean, I just…”

A little smile twisted on Gerald’s lips, “You like Helga Pataki?!”

Unsure of how to answer, Arnold’s flush cheeks turned crimson, “Well, s-she does take responsibility!”

Gerald blew a raspberry, “Like when? Like when she pretended to have amnesia so you would take care of her? Or how she faked blindness to prank you on at that April fool’s dance? Look man, Helga’s been blaming shit on you for yea-Ooohhh my god.” Gerald’s eyes widened and jaw fell.

They stared at each other from across the bed.

“What?” Arnold lifted his shoulders, “’Oh my god’ what?”

Gerald shook his head, “Nothing. Never mind.” He chuckled, surprised it took him until just now to see it and silently admiring just how dense Arnold can be.

The TV remained paused for longer than it should have been for a movie night. Because instead of watching the movies they planned to, Helga and Phoebe talked. About Arnold. A little bit about Gerald, too. But mostly Helga and Arnold.

“Listen, Phoebe.” Helga rubbed her arm, “Is it just me, or have you been kind of… Shielding me from situations and conversations involving him?”

Phoebe thought before speaking astutely, “I suppose I have tried to mediate social settings to protect you from embarrassment, yes.”

Helga chuckled, “Yeah, I just… I appreciate it, but I feel bad.”

“Whatever for?”

Helga shook her head, “Because you need to stop going out of your way for me, Pheebs. We’re almost done with high school, and then what? I can’t keep hiding behind you and keep taking advantage of your big heart. That would make me a shitty friend.”

Phoebe sighed, unsure of how to respond.

Helga grabbed Phoebe’s hand, “I don’t want to be a shitty friend. Especially not to you.”

Phoebe gave Helga’s hand a little squeeze, “Okay, Helga. No more covering for you when Arnold is involved. I’m going to hold you to that.”

After talking about it for a few minutes more, Helga nodded her head to the TV, “Should we spend our movie night, you know, watching a movie?”

Phoebe stood with a giggle, “Yes, but I’ve got a new mud mask we are going to try while we watch.”

Slumping her head to look at ceiling in defeat, “Criminy, do I have to?”

The girls waited patiently in line at the movie theater, hopes high for this movie. Once inside, the salty smell of buttered popcorn permeated heavily in the air and made Helga’s mouth water. The sound of the soda fountain filling her huge, plastic cup of ice made her eager to take that first, ever so refreshing sip.

“Oh, this is gonna be a good one, Pheebs. I can feel it!” Helga said to her best friend as they waited in line outside their theater room in the neon carpeted hallway.

“I know!” Phoebe bounced lightly on her feet. She couldn’t do much else to express her excitement with her arms filled with refreshments, but Helga knew she was several times as excited as Helga was, and that’s saying a lot.

The girls planned to get the center most seats for optimal viewing pleasure, and they succeeded. Center seats center row.

“This is perfect!” Phoebe whispered.

Helga grinned. It was beyond perfect, actually. The previews hadn’t even started yet, and they were already in their seats and enjoying themselves. Helga ate a few pieces of popcorn and leaned back, thankful.

Nothing happened yet between her and Arnold, which made it even more perfect. She hadn’t yet needed to peel her squashed heart off the asphalt, and she knew it would make getting lost in this movie 100000% easier.

The lights dimmed faintly, and the previews began. Helga leaned over and whispered, “I’m going to take a precautionary pee. Need anything while I’m out?”

Phoebe shook her head, “I’ll save our seats.”

Helga covered her seat with her jacket before making her way down the shallow stairs, weaving her way through the last of the people that trickled into the dark cinema.

In the bathroom, she quickly did her business and washed her hands. Upon seeing her own face in the mirror, even in the unflattering florescent glow of the bathroom, she had to admit her skin did look pretty good. Phoebe’s mud crud must have really worked.

She dried her hands as speedily as she could to get back to her seat. Stepping into the dark theater’s hall, she let the track lights on the floor guide her up the few stairs where-

Helga stopped dead in her tracks. Phoebe must not have saved their seats. No. Because although Helga’s seat was still saved with her jacket on it, Phoebe was not where Helga left her.

Arnold was.

And next to Arnold was Gerald, next to Gerald, Phoebe.

Phoebe was already mouthing the words I’m sorry to Helga as she stood on the stairs like an idiot, while the circuits in her brain were shorting out. What… happened? She forced her feet to move toward the trio, with every step her irritation simmered stronger, until it was at a full boil as she was hovering over Phoebe, jaw open, but nothing coming out.

“Hey Helga.” Arnold greeted her pleasantly from where he sat three seats over.

Helga ignored him.

“Some chick-flick, huh?” Gerald said in cool sarcasm.

Phoebe stammered, “Th-they saw me from a few rows behind and traded seats… They didn’t know we would be here, but we ran into each other.” She chuckled awkwardly, “Isn’t that funny, Helga?”

Helga slowly bobbed her head, though her expression and body language indicated that she entirely disagreed. This was not funny. In fact, this was the very opposite of funny. This was a horrific turn of events. To the point, that her blood practically ran cold.

Someone yelled from the back, “Could ya sit down already? Movie’s about to start!”

Now not only did Helga feel Phoebe, Gerald, and Arnold’s eyes on her, but now the whole theater was staring at her. This situation was beyond the point of saving. Helga internally asked Phoebe why would you do this to me?

But, what the two girls agreed to last night, Helga knew she had to stick to. Phoebe was not Helga’s social babysitter. She promised not to shield Helga from her Arnold troubles anymore. So, even though this was excruciatingly disappointing, she had to grow the hell up and decide on her own.

The decision being: Either sit by Arnold, or just leave.

Her nostrils flared and hands balled into fists. No way in hell was she going to miss this movie. She turned with a huff and shimmied past the three of them. They all adjusted themselves to let her by, but Helga felt her teeth involuntarily grit when she felt Arnold’s knees brush the backs of her legs as she side-stepped passed him. She threw herself into her seat with a disapproving cross of her arms.

Arnold cautiously side eyed her before greeting her again, “Hey…”

She exhales through her nostrils, “Hey.”

“Everything okay?” He asked honestly.

“Great. Just great.” Helga rolled her eyes.

Arnold didn’t know what to make of Helga’s mood, so he just tried to let it go.

The dimmed lights faded to dark, and a few in the room applauded in excitement as the opening credits played.

Helga scooped up her treats and shoved a huge fistful of popcorn in her mouth grumpily as the opening scene played out.

It was the main protagonist of the series sprinting through the forest with his loyal German shepherd tearing through the tall grass alongside him. What they were running to or from is unknown, but the imagery of the familiar characters was thrilling. The protagonist jumped off a cliff and in midair, and in the blink of an eye, he pulled out a detonator and pressed its large red button with his thumb, causing an explosion that made everyone in the theater jump in their seats.

Quite the introduction.

Arnold brought his hand to his own chest and let out a ‘phew!’ right before Gerald elbowed him teasingly.

Upon hearing his gentle, endearing noise, Helga’s heart sank into her gut, realizing that there was no way she would be able to focus on this movie. This movie. THE movie. Because the love of her life was sitting next to her, and he had no idea how she felt.

Why, why, WHY?! She internally shrieked.

A few action-packed scenes later, Arnold leaned over and whispered, “Do you want some?” he extended his box of chocolate covered caramels to Helga.

At his casual offer in the dark and sound of his mellow whisper, Helga’s heart stammered behind her ribs.

“N-no!” She hissed, trying her hardest to keep her eyes glued to the screen at all costs. She could see in her peripheral, Arnold recoiling slightly before leaning back in his seat again.

Helga put her elbows up on both armrests, interlocked her fingers, and took a deep breath.

Focus, Helga, focus! You’re not going to see this movie again until it comes out on video!

Then, she sensed it. Arnold’s elbow. It snuck in behind hers on the armrest. Nonchalantly, comfortably. She jerked her stare over to him to find him blankly watching the movie before he peeked at her and flashed the tiniest, yet most charming smirk Helga had ever seen. He held eye contact with her for long enough to make her face hot as fire, before turning his attention back to the movie.

Then, after a moment, his elbow barely, just barely contacted hers.

“GRREHH!” She snarled loudly; popcorn kernels flew as she stood. Several sharp shhh’s came from those around them.

Arnold’s little smirk vanished instantly, and his eyes were wide as saucers. Helga glared down at him as she towered. Her chest expanded and contracted heavier and heavier as the love and fury that continually mixed insider her began to emulsify.

“Hey, sit down, lady!” Someone from the back hollered.

“Yeah! You’re ruining the show!”

Arnold murmured her name as he reached out to pull her back to her seat. But again, at his touch, she unkindly ripped her arm away from him.

“Come on!” a woman from two rows behind griped rowdily.

With that, Helga grabbed her things, spun around, and left. Left Arnold, Phoebe and Gerald. Left her refreshments. Left this movie she paid 13 bucks for and waited an eternity to see.

She escaped the theater, busting through the front doors, out into the evening-lit busy city street. She fast-walked past groups of people, out going to and from their Saturday evening events and activities.

With every step, her face reddened further with embarrassment.

“Helga!” Her name came to her from behind, “Helga, wait!”

Damnit, Arnold.

She quickened her pace and skidded on her shoes into a dim alley. She pressed her back against the brick wall, hoping Arnold didn’t notice and would just pass by.

But of course, he did notice. He turned the corner of the alley with purpose, eyes drilling her determinedly.

“Helga, what the hell?!” Arnold demanded as he neared, “What’s your problem?”

Helga made fists, “My problem?! What’s your problem?!” She pointed at him.

“Me?! I’m not the one who acted like a fool in there!”

“This was supposed to be a girl’s night, you know! You and tall hair boy just had to come in and crash it! Didn’t you?”

“We thought you were at a chick flick, remember?”

“So? We told you it was just me and Phoebe! We told you!”

“Well, I’m sorry, okay? Did you have to cause a scene and storm out?”

Helga’s heavy breathing slowed. She’s doing it again. He shouldn’t be apologizing for a damn thing.

“Are you seriously that angry about it?”

“Blech.” She scoffed, “I don’t even know why I’m talking to you. I don’t owe you anything! Just go enjoy the stupid movie.” She waved her hand in the air as she turned to leave him, but Arnold caught her forearm tightly, and forcefully pulled her back to face him again.

“No.” he said in a startlingly firm tone. Arnold’s face was troubled. Not just angry. Not just sad. But something different, deeper, and it made her want to knock out whoever gave him a reason to look that way.

But it was her. She was the reason.

Trying to play it off cool, Helga scoffed again, attempting to withdraw her arm from his grasp, but his strong grip made difficult, “Ugh, let go of me!”

“Fine.” he said as he let go, “But we’re getting to the bottom of this.”

“What are you talking about?!” She rubbed her arm.

“On the phone, you told me you would talk to me about whatever is bothering you, and you’re going to do it.” He drilled her with an intense glare, “Right now.”

“What… Here?”

“That’s right.” He crossed his arms and asked heatedly, “What the hell is your problem with me?”

Helga has never seen Arnold this assertive, or forceful in her life. It made her chest constrict with desire seeing this side of him, and yet that same vulnerable desire made her want to punch out a window.

“My problem” She started out in a holler that diminished rather quickly, “with you i-is…” Helga hesitated and rubbed her neck with unease, “I… Iiiii”

Arnold’s expression remained glaring as he waited patiently for her to come out with it.

She could literally say anything in this very moment.

My problem with you is ______. Just fill in the blank!

His football shaped head.
That tiny hat.
That he makes mostly straight A’s or has a fricken’ pet pig.
That he’s lefthanded or likes Jazz.
That he smells good.
The way he tugs at his collar when he’s nervous or chews his bottom lip when he is concentrating.

Arnold’s frustrated, intentional gaze remained steady on her as she less racked her brain for something to say and more just thought of everything Arnold is.

That he is never judgmental and always tries to see the best in people.
That he is maybe a little too trusting of others.
That at one point or another, almost every girl in his class has had a crush on him, and he is so damn dense when it comes to love, that he only noticed once with that Tabith- yuck Helga didn’t even want to think her name!

Helga’s mouth hung open, “Uhh…” Her eyes darted back and forth between his as the quiet moment between them turned awkward.

Arnold sighed, lightly rolling his eyes before shifting to dig into his pocket. The worn, ever-so familiar item rested lightly in his hand.

Her pink bow. Arnold picked it up on her stoop steps two days ago. She had been such a neurotic mess; she didn’t even realize it was missing. The bow that Arnold complimented her on almost a decade and a half ago now lay in his palm.

I like your bow because it’s pink like your pants.

The object that was involved in the beginning of it all, all this emotional chaos she’s flung herself through, will now be a part of the end of it all.

“I was going to give this back to you yesterday, but I missed school, so yeah… I washed it for you. I hope that’s okay.”

Helga’s mouth never closed. Her glossy eyes slowly rose back to Arnold’s face, and if she wasn’t mistaken, he was lightly blushing. Bashfully shoving his free hand into his pocket while politely handing it to her.

As she gently took the cloth ribbon from Arnold, it was all she could do to keep herself from shoving her nose in it. To know if smelled exactly like him after he washed it. She wondered if he washed it with his clothes. Not-so-oddly enough, she hoped it.

“Helga…” His brow crinkled with concern. “I don’t know what’s going on with you, but I know you’re a good person. Better than what happened back there, anyway.” He gestured toward the theater, “On Thursday, I thought we were good, but now I guess we’re back at square one. You keep getting upset with me and storming out, and I have no idea why!” He raised his shoulders in defensiveness, “I guess I just think I deserve a little better than that.”

Though she could easily let the tears she sensed emerge, she didn’t. She pushed it back down like she always does, but not with bitterness for him. More so with disappointment in herself.

“I’m sorry.” She croaked softly, “You’re right. You do deserve better.”

Arnold’s blinked, clearly not expecting her to drop her guard so quickly.

Helga’s hair fell in front of her face as she looked down at her shoes. This was it. Now or never.

“The truth is…” She rubbed her arm anxiously, “For a really long time… Like, the longest time, actually. W-well, y-you see, I…” Her words got tangled on her tongue, and she sighed, slightly annoyed and very humiliated.

Even though she was looking down, Helga could see that his posture straightened, preparing for whatever it is she was going to say.

She swallowed hard and forced herself to look him in the eye, which effortlessly caught her gaze. Her lightly flush cheeks quickly enflamed crimson as her heartbeat thumped in her ears.

“I like you, Arnold.”

His appearance remained unchanged, as he clearly did not grasp what she was saying. Her skin felt numb and prickly all over as she finally said it.

“Arnold, I like you.” She said a little more resolution, though her voice remained shaky and weak, “I’ve always liked you. Since we were kids. In fact, since the day we met.”

His furrowed brow smoothed, and his tense shoulders relaxed in slow realization.

“Like-you-like-you.” She murmured as she felt her face burn hot as fire, “L-like, I get annoyed when I think about how you’re not mine.” Her posture crumpled, “Because I think about you that way.”

He slowly uncrossed his arms, barely comprehending what she was saying, let alone believing it.

She sniffed, “But even aside my feelings for you, I like your kindness and consideration for others. I like the way you always try to do the right thing. I like that you are trustworthy, and intentional.” She lifted her bow to her chest, “I like that you have always treated others well, without expecting anything in return. Even strangers.” Her chin quivered, “Even me.”

Arnold eyes flickered as all the pieces started clicking into place. All the things that made Helga so damn confusing gradually began to make sense in his mind. His jaw fell slightly open as he began blushing, speechless.

“I know I’ve treated you terribly… And I guess I’m just tired of it.” She sighed and turned away from him, “I...” Could she dare say it? That three worded declaration she’s always, always, always felt for him? She took a single step away before practically choking over her shoulder, “I’m sorry.”

Yet again, Helga took off, leaving Arnold dumbstruck and alone in the alley.

Chapter Text

The cool blue glow of dawn seeped in through Helga’s bedroom window. She sat up in her bed and rubbed her eyes, her mind hollow yet loaded. Empty, yet encumbered.

She got very little sleep, restless unease consuming her, keeping her awake for long stretches throughout the unpleasant night.

Curling in her legs, she rested her chin on her bent knees and absently gazed out the window to watch the morning light slowly brighten over her quiet neighborhood. It’s Sunday. Thank God she had at least a day.

She lingered in her room for a few hours, not really doing anything. Just thinking mostly. A knock came to the door.

“Helga?” Miriam’s droning voice called sleepily from the other side of the door.

“Yeah?”

“Someone is on the phone for you? I think it’s one of your little friends?”

Oh, no Arnold… Helga stiffened, “Okay, I’ll come down to get it in a sec.”

At the phone in the hallway, Helga cleared her throat as she picked up the receiver, “Hello?”

“Helga! Are you alright?” Phoebe’s helium pitched voice came through.

A wave of relief spread through Helga, “Yeah, I’m alright… Everything is fine.”

“I’m so sorry I didn’t check on you sooner. When you and Arnold left the theater, I wanted to go with you so badly, but Gerald told me ‘let them be.’” Phoebe groaned apologetically, “I felt so guilty watching the movie without you!”

Helga grinned, “Don’t worry about it, Pheebs. How was it?”

“Ugh, amazing. You’re going to love it.”

A short pause ensued.

“… Did you tell him?” Phoebe’s tone turned somber.

Her brow crumpled over her closed eyes, “Yeah. I told him.”

“Are you okay?”

“My ego’s pretty busted up, but I’ll be fine.”

“What did he say?”

“Uhh…” Helga twisted the cord around her finger, “I didn’t really give him the chance to respond.”

“You didn’t?”

“I sort of just, blurted it out and ran… like a damn child, heh.”

“… But wouldn’t you like to know what he thinks?”

Helga let out a shaky sigh as she let her head slump, “I’m so scared, Pheobe.” Her voice cracked, “I mean, what if he hates me now?”

“I surely doubt he hates you. You know that’s not the type of person Arnold is.”

“I’m just not sure how I’m going to be able to handle the rejection…”

“You say that like he’s already rejected you. Have you given any thought to the possibility that maybe he likes you too?”

Without responding, her heart was free falling at very notion. Arnold liking me? What rapturous elation would engulf this wretched soul…

“You know you have to talk to him again.”

“Yeah, I know.” She sighed heavily.

“And you should probably do it today.” Phoebe pushed.

“Today?! Why?” Helga protested. Why ruin a perfectly good Sunday with the pure misery of Arnold’s rejection?

“This isn’t something you should let wait until you have to. Clear the air and find out how he feels.”

“But couldn’t that make things even more awkward?”

“W-well, um. Maybe, but it’s best t-to strike while the iron’s hot! Right?” Phoebe fumbled with a nervous giggle, but quickly collected herself, “Plus I’m sure Arnold would appreciate the thought and intentionality.”

“… Yeah I guess he probably would.” Helga surrendered, “You’re right. It’s not like I have anything left to hide.”

“That’s correct! So today it is, right?!”

“… Right.” She scratched her head at Phoebe’s unusual urging, “Yeah.”

“Will you call me afterwards?”

“Sure, I can do that.”

“Perfect! I’ll talk to you then.”

“Later, Phoebe.” Helga hung up with a miserable groan.

Phoebe hung up the phone, “Phew! That was close! I almost blew it.”

“Nah, you did great!” He commended as he sat down.

Pushing up her glasses with an anxious sigh, “And you’re certain Arnold likes her back?”

Gerald leaned back in his chair with his hands interlaced behind his head. His signature shrewd smile splayed across his face, “Positive.”

Heart about to crash out of her chest, Helga took a deep preparing breath before knocking on Arnold’s bedroom door.

No answer.

After a moment, she knocked again and creaked open the door, “Arnold?”

He wasn’t inside. The wind flowing from the open window panel above her was an indication of where he was though. As she stepped inside his bright room, music reached her ear. Following the calm, pleasant melody, Helga climbed up through the ajar window only comprehending what was happening as she crawled out onto the rooftop.

Arnold was playing piano.

It was a simple, melancholy melody. Single notes rang out long and low. The dissonant chords kindred to her forlorn longing.

He hadn’t noticed her presence and kept playing, fingers nimble as they softly played the gentle tune.

Helga had no idea he played the piano. Though it wasn’t an overly skillful or complicated song, Helga’s soul was caught by it, like an animal in a trap. She stood motionless, eyes wide, unconsciously clutching the front of her shirt as she watched him and listened.

His song played for a few long and heavenly minutes. He seemed thoughtful as he did it, like the notes were helping him figure out something that was bothering him. She could hardly bear her own emotional weight simply observing him, someone so lovely, creating something so pleasant.

The last chord rang out, long and pleasant. He sighed before lifting his foot off the sustain pedal and swiveling on the bench.

He visibly tensed as he laid eyes on Helga, not yet rising from the piano bench. She stood completely still with eyes shimmering from across the rooftop. The wind gusted, tousling their hair and clothes as they stared at each other.

“… Helga?” He spoke her name in surprise, slowly rising from the piano.

She swallowed, “Arnold…”

He steadily approached her, as if not to scare her away like a frightened deer.

Helga took a few steps closer, meeting him somewhere in between. The sun was bright against his skin. She noticed how tense she was and let go of her shirt, smoothing the fabric tremulously.

“You okay?” He spoke gently.

“Yeah, yeah.” she rocked on her feet and wiped her brow with her forearm, “Listen. Arnold… I know after what I said, it might be awkward, but I still would like to finish our café project. It would be a shame if we failed after putting so much work into it, you know?”

“Yeah. I agree.” Arnold concurred with a nod, “I was actually just thinking... We still need to build the menu, and there’s an espresso bar a few blocks from here. Maye we could get some ideas there?”

“What, you mean like right now?”

Arnold shrugged, “I mean, yeah… We could try some coffee, take some notes…” He rubbed his neck, blushing lightly, “Maybe talk for a bit?”

“Oh.” She blinked rapidly, “Um, yeah. Sure.” Helga stuttered, averting her eyes to her fidgeting fingers. This sounds like a date… She cleared her throat, failing to shake off her unsettling crush, “I mean, you’d better be buying, bucko!” Her voice cracked, forsaking her feigned hostility.

Arnold let out a huff of a laugh, “Sure.” He gestured toward the exit with a quick tip of his head, “My treat.”

The coffee shop was serene, music playing softly, the perfectly delicious smell of coffee heavy in the air.

“This place is usually bustling.” Arnold remarked, “normally it’s packed in here.”

Helga looked down at the display case filled with pristinely decorated deserts and goodies, “Yeesh, this place is fancy.”

“Is there something you would like to try?” Arnold queried as he scanned the drink menu for ideas, “It’s my treat, remember.”

After ordering together they sat at an open table in the corner by the window.

“So, I was thinking for the presentation,” Arnold scooted his chair forward to rest his forearms on the table, “we could make one of the specialty drinks, but a big batch of it so everyone can try it.”

Helga crossed her arms in front of her, “Something straight from our menu, huh?”

“Exactly! Wouldn’t that be awesome?”

“Sure, but before we do that, we have to price everything out, figure out how much we are paying our baristas, and calculate the cost of keeping the place running. Then balance it against how many drinks we need to sell to make a real profit.” She snickered, “Even if we have the most delicious drink in the world, we’re still getting a big fat F if we don’t know what it’ll take financially.”

“True. It is an economics class, after all.” He chuckled, then slowly let his smile fade.

The conversation quickly fizzled. Helga flipped her eyes to him, meeting his gaze from across the small table.

“How long?” Arnold whispered, not breaking eye contact.

She swallowed thickly, “S-since preschool.”

Arnold’s eyes practically bulged before he looked away. The warmth of humiliation crawled up Helga’s neck, and she bounced her knee anxiously.

“Here you are!” The peppy barista set their freshly made drinks in front of them, thankfully interrupting the awkward silence - if only for a brief moment.

They both thanked the barista before Helga shifted in her seat and pushed conversation forward, “Since the day we met, actually.”

“Damn…” Arnold lifted his drink, not yet taking a sip, “I can’t even remember it.”

“Yeah, well… I can.” Despite Helga’s thumping heart, she remained surprisingly calm. Everything already being out there, the notion of becoming short-tempered had lost all its appeal. In fact, just the thought of acting discourteous towards him made her feel a bit queasy.

“I just don’t understand you, Helga. I guess I never really have.”

“Well…” She picked at her jeans, “If you want to know, now is the time to ask.”

And ask he did.

As the evening waned, Helga honestly answered every question Arnold inquired to know. He found out details about her unstable childhood, her weird dynamic with Olga, about how her neglect and abandonment issues were somehow soothed by his existence in her life. With crimson cheeks, Arnold learned about being a main theme with her therapist and in her poetry. His mind began to whirl with each new revelation she disclosed. The locket, pretending to be Cecile, the Nancy fricken’ Spumoni snow boots.

Helga asked him questions, too. She found out about his anxieties with his Grandparents only having a few good years left, about how his relationship with Tabitha was actually very painful, and his frustration with feeling like the only mature one in the boarding house.

They sat and talked until the café closed and they were kicked out. He offered to walk her home, and she accepted with surprising modesty.

“Yeah, you were terrible.” He shoved his hands in his pockets as they strolled in the direction of her house, “Harold was going to kick my shit, and all you did was count down the seconds with a fricken’ megaphone. It’s like you took joy in in my misery.”

“I’m sorry for all of that.” Helga’s forehead gathered in a concerned mess, “Seriously sorry…”

He shook his head with a chuckle, “It’s alright, Helga. We were kids. It was a long time ago. I’ve already forgiven you.” he looked up at the night clouds, polluted with the city lights, “Plus, it wasn’t all bad. We had some good times together, too. Remember that thanksgiving when you and I went to Mr. Simmon’s house together? Whenever November rolls around, I always think about that day with you.”

“Me too.” She blushed and looked down to the ground, “Oh and one more thing. I’m sorry for getting you sick.”

“Getting me sick?” Arnold rubbed his chin, “When was that?”

“The rain the other day, doi.”

“… Oh.” Arnold’s brain was clearly putting the pieces together, “Huh. I didn’t even think about that.”

“I was going to bring you soup on Friday.” She crossed her arms and slumped shoulders with a sigh.

His eyes widened, “You were?”

“Yeah?” She lifted a brow, puzzled by his surprise about it, “but I talked myself out of it, because…” she rolled her eyes, “Well, you know.”

Arnold remained silent and contemplative, quietly wondering what his conversation with Gerald would’ve been like if it were Helga who brought him soup that day, rather than Tabitha.

Soon enough they reached the stoop of the Pataki residence.

Helga rubbed her arm as she turned to him, “Thanks… For tonight. And the coffee.”

“Of course.”

Helga’s anxious eyes lifted to his, “Thanks for everything, Arnold.”

His assured voice lowered to a whisper, “Of course...” He gently repeated.

After a nonverbal moment and without cue, they both stepped forward at the same time, the cement crackling under their shifting shoes. They hugged. Simply and easily. Holding each other in the middle of the sidewalk under the streetlights.

Arnold pulled Helga in closer into his tight embrace, “I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”

Helga’s eyes that peeked over his shoulder glossed over with tears. She nodded her head, “’Kay.” Her voice shaky with her overflowing emotion. So much fear and hostility had churned inside her for so long masking what was finally out in the open – and Arnold unhesitatingly met it with acknowledgement and respect.

She still didn’t know where Arnold stood. Hell, Arnold probably didn’t know where Arnold stood, either. But he accepted her into his arms, even after all she just divulged. How could she not fall even deeper in love with him?

“Plus,” He rubbed her back before pulling away, “We’ve got a coffee shop to run.”

“Yeah, we do.” She sniffled with a scoff, wiping away her tears with her forearm like a kid, “My place or yours?”

“How about the café again?” He offered, “That was nice, right?”

“Sure.” She agreed without any real concern, “I’ll pay next time.”

“Deal.” Arnold smiled at her, an even sweeter treat than the baked goods she ate a few hours ago.

She walked up the steps to the door and spun around, “Thanks again.” She fidgeted with her key.

His smile grew even wider from the sidewalk below, “Absolutely.”

“’Night, Arnold.” She exhaled, not really wanting to go inside.

“Goodnight Helga.”

Thursday night. The last evening before the build-a-business fair was upon them. All the students in the economic class had to present their projects tomorrow.

Arnold and Helga had spent the majority of the evening in the Pataki resident’s kitchen, brewing coffee and mixing it with different ingredients to taste for their special coffee drink they were going to pass around. They both drank far too much coffee throughout the evening, trying to get the recipe just right.

After they got their recipe down they proceeded to make large batches to bring to school tomorrow.

Arnold stood over the stove stirring a simple syrup that bubbled before him. It donned on Helga that… The work for the project had been done. Arnold really didn’t need to be here in her kitchen making this stuff. This ‘special coffee drink’ malarky was his idea, but still. It was just an extra thing that they really didn’t need to do at all.

He leaned to smell the aromatic syrup, then glanced over at Helga who was just mindlessly watching him. She tensed, but before she could internally berate herself for her idiotic staring, Arnold remarked, “Smells good.” with a little wink.

Blushing wasn’t a strong enough word – Helga’s entire face became hot as fire as she averted her eyes, “Oh, uh… That’s good.” She cleared her throat, unsure of what to do.

Surprisingly enough, not much had changed between them since Helga confessed five days ago. Arnold didn’t ask any further prodding questions since Sunday evening, and things seemed to return to normal-ish. They still worked together to finish the business project, casually chatting about this and that as they studied. Occasionally saying hello to each other in the hallways, sitting by Phoebe and Gerald at lunch, almost as if nothing even happened.

But something definitely did happen. Because through it all, one undeniable truth hung heavy in Helga’s mind: Arnold. Knew. Everything.

Despite that the fact made her want to jump off a cliff, for the first time Helga fully embraced the way her heart skipped and fluttered at his kind gestures and sweet remarks. And her urges to veil her sensitivity with aggression completely lost all appeal.

Trying to shoo away her nerves, Helga leaned over the kitchen’s island countertop, resting her chin in her palm, “It’s a good thing Big Bob is on business trip, otherwise he’d be complaining about the smell no doubt.”

Arnold turned back to the stove, “What about your mom?”

“Miriam? What about her?” Helga replied blandly, “She’s probably at the bar right now… I think, anyway.”

Clicking off the burner, Arnold’s gut churned with sadness for her. Everything in this home is so disconnected… Calling her parents by their first names was only a symptom of the fact.

“Meh.” Helga shrugged indifferently, “They usually have no clue where I am, either so... Que sera, I guess.”

With their coffee drink creation mixed and stored, Arnold and Helga’s project was finally complete. Completely complete. Nothing left besides bringing all their work to school tomorrow.

After cleaning up the kitchen together, Arnold excused himself to use the restroom.

With nothing else to do, Helga meandered into the living room. Big Bob’s worn-in recliner in front of the tube. Walls packed with pictures of Olga. Shelves lined with Olga’s trophies and baby books. Olga’s piano in the corner, a birthday present given to her the same year Helga’s was almost forgotten.

With a heavy sigh, Helga actually searched for some evidence of her existence in the room, failing to see anything other than herself in the background of a couple family photos. Until something on the bottom shelf met her eye.

A P.S. 118 elementary yearbook.

She stooped to retrieve it, dusting it off as she sat on the couch.

The yearbook’s hardcover spine cracked as she opened it. Images of familiar classrooms, hallways and students greeted her from the glossy pages. She flipped to the fourth grade section and was immediately submerged in nostalgia. There were all the old classmates, some Helga hadn’t thought of in a long time. Eugene. Sheena. Brainy. Campfire Lass. Torvald. That kid who ate chocolate all the time. Miss ever-so-perfect Lila. Big Patty.

A little smile curled on Helga’s lips as the memories floated back. It all seemed close and far away at the same time.

The bathroom door from down the hall creaked open, and Arnold emerged, leaning his shoulder against the living room doorframe, “So, should we call it a night?” He asked, but quickly straightened, “Wait, is that that old yearbook?”

“Y-yeah.” She nodded, “It all seems not that long ago, you know? But we were all so young…” Helga scooted over as Arnold neared, cheeks reddening as he sat next to her.

“Let me see.” He gently pulled the yearbook toward him.

Together, they held the book and examined its contents. Arnold pointed at Gerald’s picture, “Oh my gosh!” He tipped his head back and laughed at his best friend’s baby face.

Helga chuckled uneasily. Arnold’s finger moved to the school picture of her, “And there’s you.” He claimed softly.

In the school photo, Helga’s abrasive looking pigtails stuck out unnaturally, and she was scowling, probably after telling off the photographer. Her curved unibrow accentuating her angry expression.

Arnold peeked over and watched her subconsciously touch the bare space in between her eyebrows, now cleanly separated. She blushed just a little harder, clearly thinking about how she looked when she was young and scrapy. Though, she should be anything but self-conscious in Arnold’s mind.

He didn’t know what came over him. Nostalgia? Over-caffeination? The fact that she looked really cute when she allowed herself to be shy? The reality that she was as much in love with him then as she is right now?

Arnold didn’t dwell on it long enough to stop himself from reaching to tip her chin towards him gently with his finger. Helga’s uncertain eyes met his promptly.

Holding her gaze for only a split second, Arnold leaned in, letting his eyelids fall shut as his mouth gently met hers. Her yielding lips were warm and tasted like coffee. The yearbook fell to the carpet, but Helga didn’t reciprocate his kiss. She remained motionless, completely stunned.

His lips were tacky and stuck to hers slightly as he pulled away an inch from her face.

“Is this okay?” Though the room was quiet, Arnold’s whisper was barely audible, sending goosebumps down her frozen limbs.

Unable to bring herself to even answer because she was so overcome with incomprehension, Helga swallowed hard, having a difficult time getting her bearings. He was so close. So close that their noses grazed. Her unsteady fingertips lifted to touch his lips. The lips she had always wanted. The very lips that just kissed hers so simply, void of preparation or forethought.

Letting her waveringly trace his edges of his mouth, Arnold watched her thoughtfully through his half-lidded eyes, “Helga?” he whispered again, “Is this okay?” He asked once more.

Hearing her name from his softened voice, she let her forehead rest against Arnolds, “Y-yes…” She sighed breathily.

Her fingers fell to his chin as Arnold again leaned in, and again carefully pressed his lips against hers, tentative and ever so relaxed. His palm slid up her cheek, gently pulling her just a little closer.

Both their lips parted at the same time, just enough to tenderly interlock.

Frenzied heart thumping hard in her chest, Helga’s mind began to spin. Arnold’s weak breath through his nostrils swept soft against her face as he pushed into the kiss just a barely, adding ever so delicate motion to it.

Pushing his fingers through her loose hair, Arnold shifted on the couch, causing their mouths to link more naturally.

Finally, Helga let her eyelids fall shut and she fumbled for his free hand. Arnold didn’t stop or flinch. Without ceasing his caressing lips, he sunk his fingers between hers and gave her hand a gentle squeeze.

Though they had kissed before when they were younger, Helga didn’t have to plot or scheme to bring this moment fourth. This kiss was entirely of his own volition and initiation, and it was unlike anything Helga had ever imagined it to be. Not just to kiss him, but to be kissed by him. To be wanted this way by him. Her free hand fell from his chin to his chest.

For Arnold, he was struggling to not get too carried away. Everything about these past few days has made him like Helga even more than he already did. The way she spoke to him, the way she laughed more freely, the way her hostility seemed to roll off and puddle at her feet. Arnold always knew, he just knew this was the real Helga, and being around her true self when she had nothing to hide, nothing to prove… He had half a mind to crawl over her, to dip his tongue in her warm soft mouth, to tug at her clothes.

But he didn’t. He couldn’t! It was way too soon for that, and knowing how vulnerable Helga probably felt, he didn’t want to take it too far too quickly and end up spoiling this. As hostile as Helga has been on the outside, she’s actually very fragile on the inside. Arnold wanted to take care of that fragile inside, like precious porcelain. Make her feel like she could always be herself, not just behind closed doors.

As he pulled away, Helga’s breath shuddered and eyes remained closed, as if she were still processing it. Arnold couldn’t help but let a little smile bloom on his face. He tucked her hair behind her ear as her eyes softly opened. Looking now at her dreamy expression behind her slightly smudged eye makeup was perhaps the loveliest thing he’d ever seen. He smiled a little wider and bit his bottom lip, loving the way she looked right now. Her face scrunched and attitude toughened.

“What?” She asked sharply, as insecurity bubbled up inside her. She tried to pull away her hand, but his grip tightened. Rolling her eyes, Helga yanked her hand away bitterly and stood, “If this is some big joke to you, you can kindly go screw yourself, football head.”

Arnold’s grin vanished as his eyes steadied on her, hovering over him, crossing her arms defiantly, looking intimidating as ever.

This was absolutely not a joke to Arnold, he knew. What he and Helga were together, he wasn’t exactly sure, but Arnold was not the type of guy to kiss random girls just because it felt good. He kissed Helga because he likes her and wanted her to know. In fact, if he were being honest with himself, there wasn’t another girl he would rather kiss. Or study with. Or sit next to at lunch or in a movie theater. Or share a bag of chips on the roof with. Or get caught in the rain together with.

His thoughts whirled around desperately as he stood. He whispered, “It’s not a joke.” That was all Arnold could find himself to say.

She looked away, unconvinced.

Quickly, almost instantly, Arnold grabbed either side of her face and planted a strong, concentrated kiss on her lips.

With a little gasp, Helga tensed. But as his lips -Arnold’s lips- moved decisively against hers, her limbs relaxed. Her furrowed brow tilted upwards as her arms slowly uncrossed.

As he tipped his head to the other side, a whimper escaped Helga’s throat. Her arms wrapped around him, her fingers clutched a bundle of his thick, blonde hair. Now, she was pushing into the kiss, vehemently, assertively, taking in his affection with full force.

Arnold moaned quietly as he felt the shift in her. She was driving him mad. He promptly reciprocated her movements with equal fervor. His palms slipped their way around her waist, bringing her closer to him still.

As the kiss quickly turned into impassioned making out, Arnold couldn’t help but wonder… Had he always had this power? To subdue her stubborn anger with affection? To make her antagonism evaporate with a kiss?

They stood there, kissing each other for quite some time in middle of the Pataki’s quiet living room, until Helga, overwhelmed and overstimulated, pulled away abruptly.

They were both panting, lightly breathless.

Arnold whispered again, this time less quiet with a little grumble from his throat as he spoke, “It’s not a joke.”

Then, Arnold wrapped his arms around her and embraced her snugly. His face partially buried into the crook of her neck, “I don’t know where this is going, but I want to at least try. Because…” He squeezed her, “I have feelings for you too, Helga.”

Her eyes enlarged as her hands gripped into his shoulders. Clinging to him as if otherwise this moment wouldn’t be real. As if he might fade away like a ghost if she let go. She half expected herself to wake up now. For this to all be a dream, and she’d have to get up and get ready for school any second now.

But so many things kept her from disbelieving. His breath that now trailed down her neck. His torso pressed up against her. The scent of his generic-brand shampoo. The honesty that ricocheted off his every word.

She pulled away, their arms still around each other, “You do?”

Arnold nodded contently, “I do. Since you told me how you felt…” His pupils danced between hers, “Being around you has been so awesome. I look forward to seeing you at school, or watching you walk into my room… I’m bummed this is our last day on this project together, because… I don’t want you to stop coming over. Or stop studying with me. I don’t want to stop getting coffee with you. Or stop hearing your laugh. Or st-mph“

Helga cut him off with her palm over his mouth, “You seriously have feelings? For me?”

Certain of it, Arnold nodded his head from behind her hand.

“You promise you’re not just screwing with me?” Her skeptical eyes drilled his.

“I promise.” Arnold’s voice was muffled before he pulled her hand down away from his face, just to hold it tightly between both his hands.

“Not to get back at me for all the shitty stuff I’ve done or something?”

“Of course not.” He blinked, “Wow, what an awful thought. You really think I’d do that?”

“Not really, it’s just-” Her posture wilted, “If by some unholy chance this is some sick, twisted prank… I’m hopelessly falling for it, Arnold.” She admitted shamefully, looking away.

His palms slid up to cup her cheeks, bringing her eyes back to him. Arnold’s intense gaze pierced her insecurity, “It’s not a prank. It’s not a joke. It’s not a game, or trick or anything like that at all.” his thumbs stroked her soft skin, “It’s just me.”

Unsure of what else to do with her hands, she rested them on his abdomen, looking back into his deep, intentional expression.

He leaned in, lowering his voice to a breathy whisper, “So, fall for it, Helga.” His lips tenderly grazed against hers with each soft-spoken word, “Because I’m going to catch you.”

Chapter Text

The senior students had lined the classroom with displays of their business plans.

Arnold and Helga’s build-a-business presentation was a total hit. They pinned up the café’s layout, the food and drink menu, as well as charts and summaries of the financial projections – And passed out dixie cups of their special coffee to all who wanted one.

The economics teacher asked several questions such as initial startup costs, annual gross profit estimates, net versus gross on a single cup of coffee sold.

Arnold and Helga answered each question he threw at them readily.

Raising a pleasantly surprised brow at their hard work, the teacher jotted a few things down on his clipboard before moving on to the next student’s display.

Arnold and Helga high fived, already knowing they knocked it out of the park.

Sitting in her room, Helga had a harder time finishing up her homework than usual. It had been quite an eventful week, and rather emotionally exhausting.

She opened her textbook and a folded piece of paper fell out and onto the floor. It was a piece of ripped notebook paper. She reached to pick it up and unfolded it. She audibly gasped at what the small note read.

In the hallway the next day, Helga kept an eye out for him. Their one class together wasn’t until after lunch, and she wanted to see him before that.

Finally, she spotted him with his head in his locker. She approached and tapped him on the shoulder.

He lifted his head and smiled sweetly at her, “Hey you.”

“Hey.” She handed him his note back and crossed her arms behind her.

He unfolded it, unable to mask his foolish grin.

Under Arnold’s handwriting was Helga’s. It read:

Arnold shook his head at the note before taking her in by the waist and discreetly pecking her with smiling lips. Helga couldn’t believe this was happening right now. That he was in her life this way.

He turned back to his locker, “I wasn’t sure if you wanted to go.”

“Meh.” She shrugged “It’ll be okay with you there, I guess.”

He shut his locker and leaned on it, “I thought it might be fun?”

Helga adjusted her backpack on her shoulder, “Cool… So, we’re going, then.”

“Yeah. Cool.” He smiled. “So, you want to come over tonight and study? Maybe watch a movie later or something?” Arnold asked before biting his lip through a guilty smile that made Helga’s heart ache.

She hit him in the arm, “Don’t get a bigger head than the one you’ve already got, Arnoldo.”

Arnold chuckled just as the bell rang, “Well, if you don’t want to come over, can I at least walk you home?”

“It doesn’t matter. My house or yours.” Her eyes stilled thoughtfully on him, “Wherever you are, Arnold.”

Arnold’s brow knitted caringly above his earnest eyes, “Yeah?”

“Yeah.” She admitted with an affirming nod.

It was all Arnold could do to not kiss her like crazy against the lockers right then and there. One thing he discovered about himself this past week; he adored being adored by her.

She touched his nose with her fingertip, “I’ll see you at 3.”

“See you at 3.”

The weeks leading up to prom night went by particularly fast as Arnold and Helga grew closer. She picked out a snazzy prom dress with Phoebe, a little short, but it fit her like a glove. Roughly every other day she was hanging out with Arnold after school, which was a lot, but every time they parted ways, it stung… in the best way.

One afternoon when school let out, Helga waited for him in the hall. He walked out of his last class talking with his classmates, discussing their last assignment. Helga patiently waited for Arnold to finish the conversation.

He lit up when he saw her, “By the way, this is my girlfriend, Helga.” He gestured to her casually.

The word girlfriend made Helga’s heart slap itself in the face. Internally, she shrieked with pure elation as she politely waved to the acquaintances.

Girlfriend. Just like that, she was his girlfriend!

That evening Arnold and Helga had been hanging out for far longer than usual, but they just kept talking and neither of them wanted to stop. The moonlight trailed through the suspended windows above them in Arnold’s room as the conversation continued naturally flowing.

With a giant sigh, “Well, I suppose I should head home.” Helga grumbled.

A quiet lull ensued in their conversation.

“So…” Helga elbowed him, “Girlfriend, huh?”

Arnold straightened, “Sorry, I know we didn’t talk about it yet. It just sort of slipped out... I assumed you were cool with it.” He scratched his temple, “You are, aren’t you?”

Practically rolling her eyes, “Uh. Yes.” Helga leaned in, “More than cool with it.” she pecked him on the cheek once, twice… Then again. And again. Arnold slowly turned his head until their lips aligned, and her pecking kisses were landing softly on his lips, allowing Arnold to meet her tiny kisses with his own. Each new kiss grew longer and sweeter than the previous, the space between them diminishing until they were both fully making out, lips ardently delving against one another’s as everything quickly turned passionate.

“I think about you all the time.” He confessed breathlessly between the fluid movement of their merged mouths, “Seriously, I can’t get you off my mind.”

His name left her in the form of an aching whimper, “Arnold…”

“You’re beautiful.” His chest swelled under Helga’s palms, his lips trailing down her jaw and neck, “So beautiful to me. You know that?”

She threaded her fingers through his hair, “Oh, Arnold!” her head fell back allowing him better access to her collar, “How I’ve longed for this affection from you!”

With his lips caressing her throat, he felt the vibration of her voice within. There was a shift in Helga. He wasn’t sure what it was, but something broke free in her just now. He could feel it.

“To feel your coveted lips on my skin.” She continued, “To know what it’s like to be cared for by the only one my heart has ever truly desired.”

Something deep within Arnold awakened upon hearing her poetic words, giving him pause, making his kissing decrease pace.

“So passionately I’ve burned for you as I burn for you now. Yet even this moment, in your arms, it’s impossible to feel close enough. For so long has my spirit so desperately thirsted for but a drop of the elaborate profundities of your nature. Your essence. Your very inner being.”

Totally stunned, Arnold pulled away to meet her eyes with his shifting, searching pupils.

Her fingertips grazed his jaw, “So abundant with compassion you are. A brimming cornucopia of gentleness and virtue spilling forth from your exquisite being. Mere words cannot convey how deep my fondness flows for you, Arnold.” A single tear slipped down her cheek from her unmoving gaze, “For even I have yet to know the end of it myself.”

Heart pounding heavy in his chest, Arnold could scarcely breathe. Frozen in his tracks, his widened eyes stilled on hers, mouth hung open in dazed astonishment at the avalanche of emotions she just inflicted upon him.

She must have noticed his dumbfounded status, because she quickly glanced away as her elegant, poetical aura began to fade.

“You’re, um…” Helga’s voice returned to its normal tone. She tilted her head, closing the short distance between their faces, “You’re beautiful to me too, Arnold.” She stated simply with a brief, tender kiss, taking away the little air Arnold’s lungs had left.

Still soaking in her expressive, esteeming words like a dried out sponge, Arnold began wishing Helga told him sooner. Because never in his entire life has he felt… whatever it is he’s feeling right now. His sensations comparable to a single missing piece of a puzzle effortlessly gliding into its rightful place. As if somehow, hearing her words in this moment was always supposed to happen.

Hardly able to speak through his rapid, shallow breathing, “I-I don’t even know what to say. That was… Wow.” He exhaled.

“You don’t have to say anything” she pulled away and took either side of his face, “I know this is rather fast, but please know that I-” her breath caught in her throat, and once again, those three critical words she’s already told him a thousand times in secret were trapped inside her, unable to break free. Why was this simple phrase suddenly so difficult to say? It’s not like she hasn’t been unquestionably certain for over half of her life!

“It’s okay, Helga.” Arnold tucked her hair behind her ear with his fingertips, “I know.”

Considering the ornate affirmations that she just rattled off, how could he not know? Essentially, verbal fine art in Arnold’s mind - with him as the subject matter. What could he even do about it except feel his inner self feebly lose its balance?

Exhaling her held breath, Helga averted her eyes, “Sorry.”

“Don’t be. There’s no need to push yourself.” He brushed her cheeks with his knuckles, “You can say it whenever you’re ready. Okay?”

She bobbed her head.

Still in disbelief and incredibly flattered, “Seriously. Wow.” Arnold scratched his brow, “You know Helga…” Hesitated to bring it up, “Don’t get me wrong, I really, really liked that. You have an incredible gift with words, but… I’m just a guy, you know?”

She pulled away from him and sat up, “Yes, but you are the most thoughtful, handsome guy I’ve ever met. Your consideration for others is… It’s not normal.”

“Maybe so.” He tipped her chin towards him with his finger, “But it’s not because I’m some benevolent higher being or something.”

Unsure of what to say, Helga forced herself to look at him.

“I’m just a dude.” He shrugged, shaking his head with a subtle laugh, “Flawed like every other human being. And if there’s one thing I know about human beings, it’s that we hurt and fail each other sometimes. What you were saying just now? That was beautiful, Helga.”

Helga’s eyes glistened under her upturned brows.

“But there’s no way I could possibly live up to all that. I want you to like me like that. But… Me.” He gestured to himself, “Who I truly am. Not some lofty idea of me.”

She nodded understandingly “I get what you’re saying.”

“I don’t want to be a giant let down; you know?” A clever smile broke on his lips, “Especially to someone who can… Speak in cursive…?”

Helga snorted into a laugh, burying her face in his shirt.

Arnold joined in her laughter as his palm rested on the back of her head, “I really like you, Helga. Flaws and all.” He played with her hair, “And I want you to like me too, with everything I live up to and everything I fall short of. You know?”

“Yeah.. I know.” Helga nodded and pulled away to look him in the eyes, confident she already did.

Chapter Text

“You almost ready? We’re already late!” Arnold checked his watch and anxiously adjusted his tie.

“Yeah, yeah. Almost done.” Helga spritzed a little perfume on her wrists and dabbed it on her neck before slipping into her heels.

Arnold anxiously tapped his foot, but everything in him paused when Helga walked down the stairs.

She was in a simple, form-fitting dress and heels that made her athletic legs look miles long. Her hair and make-up were done up, and Arnold brightened at the sight of her.

“You look great!” They said to each other in unison, then chuckled together.

Helga pecked his lips, “Alright, let’s get to gettin’!” She opened the front door, then peeked cleverly over her shoulder, “Arnoldo.”

Not hearing that nickname for quite some time, Arnold jokingly scoffed, “How dare you!” with a huge grin before chasing her to the car, making her squeal and laugh.

They took Grandpa Phil’s olive green Packard. It hadn’t been driven in a long time, but it still functioned like it always had.

On the way to the school, they chatted a little bit, but they were both deep in thought. Between shifting gears, Arnold’s hand rested on her thigh with an occasional gentle squeeze, and Helga’s arms wrapped around his reaching arm.

This was a time for celebration and ruminating on high school, but for Arnold and Helga, there was so much more to think about.

They pulled up to the gymnasium parking lot, there was music and laughter inside. Arnold withdrew his hand from her thigh and turned the key and pulled it out of the ignition. He stared blankly at the school’s gym doors, “You ready?”

“Yeah. You okay?” Helga asked genuinely.

He nodded and flashed her a half smile, “With you? Always.”

They both leaned in and kissed each other softly before exiting the vehicle and meeting in front of it, grabbing hands without stopping their stride.

As Arnold opened the door for her, the music flowed out into the parking lot.

But there was no dancing. No tuxes or ball gowns. No disco ball or party lights, except for maybe the one florescent light in the corner that flickered fuzzily. There were a few streamers and balloons speckled mediocrely throughout the gym. And one big, old looking banner that hung above everyone’s heads that read:

‘Hillwood High – 15 year Reunion.’

Helga crossed her arms, “Huh. No ‘class of’, apparently.”

Arnold chuckled, “I guess they just use the same sign every year.”

“ARNOLD!!!”

Arnold turned to find Sid, striding up to him with a cup of punch in his hand, “Arnold, I can’t believe it’s you!”

“Sid?” Arnold’s face lit up. Sid looked almost the same, only a little heavier than he used to be. He was even wearing a similar pair of white, pointed toe boots and a backwards hat.

Sid threw his arm around Arnold casually, “Dude! You look great!” Sid looked at Helga and gestured his head with his head, “This guy saved my life once, did you know that?!”

Helga smiled contentedly, “Yeah, I think I remember that.”

Sid’s eyes widened, “H-helga?! Helga is that you?!”

She rested her hands on her waist and raised a brow, “Well, who the hell else would I be?”

Sid took her hand, “I just can’t believe this beautiful woman standing in front of me is our very own Helga Pataki!”

Helga snorted through her nose, equally amused and unimpressed. She didn’t remember Sid being exactly a smooth talker, so it must be the punch talking.

Arnold crossed his arms, “That’s Helga Shortman, to you.”

Sid yelped, “You guys got married?!”

Arnold and Helga smirked at each other.

Their wedding wasn’t exactly a large event, so only their close friends and relatives knew about it. Back in college, before they got married, Arnold’s beloved Grandma Gertie ended up passing away unexpectedly. She was lively and vivacious to the very end. Once Gertie was gone, Grandpa’s health declined rapidly, almost as if she were Phil’s sustenance, and he didn’t have her anymore to fuel his energetic life.

Both Grandma Gertie and Grandpa Phil ended up passing away in the same year.

Both their wills stated that they were leaving the boarding house to Arnold. Along with the Packard and a few odds and ends.

It was an extremely difficult and painful time for Arnold, not only watching his beloved grandparents and guardians perish, but he also had to finish up college and manage Sunset Arms all by himself, all while working for Mr. Green for money for groceries and maintenance for the boarding house. He hardly had time to grieve his loss.

Helga stayed as close to Arnold as he would let her, helping out as much as she could without being pushy, knowing he was having a hard time managing the weight of it all.

Little did she know at the time, it was Helga that kept Arnold going. Kept him pushing through the trauma and life’s busy bullshit. The little things she would do. Like when she would stop over and make dinner for everyone at the boarding house or help him finish his homework when he was too exhausted to even lift a book. Arnold knew she did those things because she loved him. Truly loved him. Sure, she was tough and feisty, but Helga cared, and it showed. In fact, during that time, Helga’s love for him shined the brightest when Arnold needed it the most.

Senior year of college, Arnold proposed with Gertie’s beautiful antique ring, resized to fit Helga. Helga accepted with elation and tears of joy. They later decided together to not have a big wedding and just elope.

With the help of Phoebe, Helga found an affordable stylish white dress, and Gerald expertly picked out Arnold’s suit and tie.

Three weeks before Arnold and Helga graduated from college, they went to the courthouse and got married. It seemed a bit rushed, but they were both in love and depended on each other, neither of them felt they could wait any longer. Phoebe and Gerald were the witnesses. Later, Helga and Arnold would be the witnesses (as well as maid of honor and best man) for Gerald and Phoebe’s much more extravagant wedding they held shortly before the two of them moved to Japan together.

Helga and Arnold haven’t seen their best friends since they said their tearful goodbyes at the airport. They still catch up on the phone a few times a year, always talking about visiting Gerald and Phoebe in Japan one day, but that day was starting to look more and more unreachable.

Especially since the day they found out Helga was pregnant with their first. During her second trimester, Big Bob and Miriam divorced. Helga had lived in their house through college, and without her presence there, they must have finally gotten a grip. It was absolutely for the best.

Still, it wasn’t easy for Helga, watching her parents split. Hearing them gripe to her about each other through the messy process.

When she finally delivered their first child, it was a pretty traumatic birth, but in the end, both her and the baby were healthy and that was all that mattered. The moment Helga watched Arnold pick up their first born in his arms with tears flowing down his face, all the pain and agony she just went through - and was still going through, seemed to fade away. In fact, everything else in the entire world faded away. He sat down on the edge of the hospital bed, unable to control his overflowing love and pride for the tiny pink bean of a human in his arms. It was perhaps the most amazing moment of Helga’s life.

They named their first born son Phillip. He looked just like Arnold, only had Helga’s darker eyebrows. He was the cutest baby on the planet. Only to later be tied with their second and third; Emma and Benji.

They all still live together in the boarding house that was passed down to Arnold from his Grandparents, where there is currently a hired babysitter they know and trust watching over them. So that they could be at this reunion, and maybe later go share some fries on the pier or something.

“I didn’t know you guys got hitched!” Sid exclaimed happily - bringing them both back to reality, “Congratulations you two!”

Other former classmates started gathering around Arnold and Helga. Laughing, reminiscing, catching up. It was turning out to be a nice time.

Helga was making small talk with Rhonda and her soon to be third husband, when she peeked over to Arnold a few feet away chatting with Stinky, Harold and a few others.

Arnold really had aged well and looked especially nice with his 5 o’clock shadow. She took in the sight of her husband and let her mind drift.

They are currently still paying off their debt, but thankfully no longer struggle every year to scrounge enough money for Christmas presents for their kids. They both work full time and are beyond done having children. To this day, they still occasionally half-joke about actually opening up that coffee shop together.

Arnold met Helga’s eyes from across the room. They looked at each other deeply and knowingly.

Though they struggled financially and had to work hard. Though they never fully comprehended why life was so bitterly difficult for them immediately after high school, gazing at each other right here, right now, in this dankly lit gymnasium – Arnold and Helga still somehow made sense together. They belonged to each other.

He was her companion. Her best friend. The father of her children. The handsomest, most trustworthy man on the planet was as committed to her as she was him.

Silently, Arnold mouthed to her, “I love you.”

After all they had been through, to this day Arnold could make her cheeks blush and heartrate quicken. Helga’s smile grew wide.

“I love you too.” She replied silently back.

Slipping his hands in his pockets, Arnold gazed adoringly at his wife for a few seconds more...

… And there wasn’t a damn thing the universe could offer that Helga would trade it for.