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During the months between the wrap up of Sweet Today and the beginning of rehearsals for Tokyo Blade, Melt practiced his acting skills.
Well, practiced was an understatement. Melt threw himself into learning how to act for real.
He didn’t care how much blood, sweat or tears it took, no matter how much his head spun from reading books with way too much Kanji, no matter how much he doubted his ability to become an actor deep down, Melt was going to prove his worth of being an actor. He was going to prove that he wasn’t a lost cause, that he was worthy of earning his place in standing alongside the other actors.
Melt was going to prove his worth to everyone who’d doubted him.
Asides from proving his worth, Melt practiced acting because he found it fun, it felt like he’d found his footing in something for the first time, pouring his heart into learning everything he could. Of course he wasn’t the best actor, that was to be expected since it’d only been nine months since the Sweet Today fiasco, but Melt had made great improvements as the months passed.
A part of him wondered if it would be enough.
Melt tried to shake those thoughts away though, he knew that he shouldn’t care so much about how other people perceived him, but he became so hyper aware of what everyone thought of him since Sweet Today.
He figured the least he could do would be to carry his burden of fucking up Sweet Today, trying to atone for what he'd done.
And maybe it wasn't that serious, it was a drama that barely got any recognition outside of niche groups and hardcore fans of the manga. Yet, regardless of its popularity, Melt felt his stomach drop when he read reviews for it. Seeing his name floating around accompanied by the phrase 'terrible actor', among other things.
Melt saw the way the mangaka looked upon arriving on set as they filmed the first episode. The disappointment in her eyes was clear, no matter how hard she tried to mask it.
Arima seemed to be the most affected by that. Well, it made sense, she was the only person who actually cared about the acting through the entire cast, and ultimately ended up being the person to keep things running smoothly throughout the production.
As Melt practiced his acting, his mind thought about Aqua, Aqua, it was always Aqua.
Sometimes it was thoughts about wanting to act alongside Aqua once again, wondering how it would feel to stand alongside Aqua, actually giving a shit about how his own performance affected the other actors, wanting to avoid hindering them to the same extent as what happened in Sweet Today.
And other times, like now, Melt wondered how his reunion with Aqua would go.
As Melt walked to the first rehearsal for Tokyo Blade, Melt’s mind wandered and he started to wonder how everyone, not just Aqua, though, he mainly cared about seeing Aqua again— would react to seeing Melt once again after all of the time that’d passed.
Would they look down on him, sending half-assed glances towards him with thoughts of, ‘look, it’s the guy who ruined Sweet Today’, whispering behind his back?
Melt pondered a lot on how his fellow castmates would react to seeing him. He knew he was working with Aqua and Arima once again, but he was certain that word of both his name and horrendous acting skills got passed around quickly to the others.
As much as he wanted to know what his peers thought of him, Melt’s anxiety started acting up again, of course at the worst time.
As Melt approached the building where the cast of Tokyo Blade was to meet, his stomach was doing flips, he felt shaky on the inside, thoughts racing. Did he even want to be there? As much as he tried to convince himself that yes, Melt wanted to be there, his mind told him otherwise, he felt sick, he wanted to leave. But not showing up to the first cast meeting would leave a bad impression, Melt was sure of that, and he didn’t need any more of those.
Melt was too far in his own head, he didn’t even realize the pair that’d been approaching until a familiar voice called out, “Melt-kun!”
Melt lifted his head and was greeted by the sight of Arima and Aqua together, approaching him. He glanced between the both of them, seeing them together reminded him that they’d acted the same way on the set of Sweet Today.
He felt a bead of sweat form on his cheek as the nervousness of seeing his former castmates set in, the awkward silence settling in the air didn’t help much either. Melt decided to fill the silence by speaking up, “Producer Kaburagi is helping out with the external casting for this play, so we’re all part of the Kaburagi squad it seems,” He thought for a moment before adding on, “Glad to be working together again.”
Both Arima and Aqua held blank faces after Melt finished, silence looming in the air again before Arima spoke again. “Same here.”
Melt furrowed his brow, his nervousness setting in once again. “What’s with that pause? I mean, I get where you’re coming from.”
He rested his hand against the side of his face, sighing softly before continuing. “You think I’m a lousy actor who’s gonna make this another nightmare like Sweet Today, am I right?”
The expression Arima wore on her face after he’d finished speaking showed that Melt had hit the nail directly on the head.
Melt turned away from both of them, eyebrows furrowed as he spoke. “I’m not gonna ask you to go easy on me just because that was my first acting gig, but it has been nine months since then. I’ve done a bit of studying, you could say.”
As Melt walked away from the both of them, he added on at the end, “I think I’ve improved. If you don’t, then feel free to call me out.”
Well, his reunion, if it could even be called that, with Aqua and Arima didn’t go as horribly as it could’ve, although it didn’t go as smoothly as it could’ve either. Melt silently cursed himself out for his past behaviors, his ego added to the tension more than he wished it did.
Melt entered the door labeled Studio B, instantly feeling overwhelmed by the amount of people packed in there. He took in a deep breath, sighing as he tried to calm his nerves, although he couldn’t shake the feeling of thinking everyone was staring at him, even though no one paid any attention to him when he silently entered the room.
Once introductions began, Melt’s anxiety heightened again as he anxiously waited for his turn to introduce himself. Really, he wished he didn’t have to be the center of attention at all, even if it only lasted a moment.
His gaze wandered beside him, noticing Arima and Aqua had snuck in and took their places beside him. And suddenly, it was his turn to introduce himself.
Melt bowed his head, eyes fixated on the ground. “My name is Narushima Melt, affiliated with Sonic Stage productions, my role is Kizami.” He took in a shaky breath, refusing to look away from the ground, for fear of accidentally making eye contact with someone, or witnessing everyone’s reactions to seeing the guy who was solely responsible for ruining Sweet Today as part of the cast.
“I look forward to working with you all.” Melt quickly added on at the end, almost forgetting his manners, he was still working on remembering things like that actively.
Silence followed after his introduction, and Melt was kicking himself internally for being so awkward socially. Of course there would be silence, what did he expect?
And just like that, the moment of silence was broken by Arima speaking up from aside Melt. “I’m Arima Kana from Strawberry Productions, I’ll be playing Tsurugi.” Aqua piped up from aside Arima, taking that as his cue to introduce himself as well. “I’m Hoshino Aqua, also from Strawberry Productions, I’ll be playing Touki.”
Melt let out a silent sigh of relief, knowing the attention had been pulled away from him quickly. He silently thanked his friends- no, they weren’t friends, his acquaintances for covering for him, even if they didn’t realize it.
Acquaintances. Melt wondered if there’d be any opportunity to grow closer with anyone in the cast. He wouldn’t get his hopes up, but the thought was nice.
Melt glanced behind him once he heard a voice beginning to speak. “Oh, you’re all early! There’s still ten minutes before we’re supposed to start, but since you’re all here, let me introduce myself.”
“My name is Raida, I’m the lead producer.” Raida spoke with an insane amount of energy, Melt noted, and he also took note of the pose Raida struck along with his introduction, a peace sign, this guy seemed to be clinging into his youth or something, despite probably being in his mid-thirties, Melt noted.
Raida began introducing some of the people involved with the production, including the director and the scriptwriter.
Once Raida introduced Kamoshida Sakuya, a ‘veteran of 2.5D productions’, Melt spoke in a hushed voice to Arima and Aqua. “He’s another member of the Kaburagi squad.” Aqua didn’t respond, as expected, but Arima spoke up with a soft “Oh, really?”, at least she humored him some with a response.
Well, not that Melt expected either of them to open up so easily, after all that’d happened.
Raida began introducing the cast members from Lalalie, Melt taking note of Kurokawa’s friendly introduction, a contrast to the half-assed introduction Himekawa gave.
This guy was supposed to be the main lead, yet he couldn’t even care to remember what character he played?
Himekawa seemed tired, hunched over on the floor for his introduction, his scruffy appearance and way too casual clothing gave off the wrong impression, Melt thought, but he bit his tongue, not wanting to judge the guy until he actually spoke to him one-on-one.
Melt was pulled out of his pondering as Raida finished up the introductions, spreading his arms and shouting out, “Let’s all work together to make Tokyo Blade a success!”
At least the producer was enthusiastic about the production, Melt wanted to figure out where Raida got all of his energy from, maybe taking a page out of the guy’s book.
After introductions were finished, the director let everyone know that the read through would start at half-past, encouraging the actors to make small talk with each other.
Easier said than done.
Melt snuck over to where Arima was standing, no, actually, to where she was observing Aqua and Kurokawa talking to each other from afar with a glare plastered on her face, like she wasn’t trying to hide her emotions at all.
Melt tilted his head at her, questioning why she’d be so upset over seeing the two of them interact with each other. “Those two are dating, aren’t they? I heard it happened on a reality show or something.”
Melt thought he was just making small talk with Arima, but the way she reacted said otherwise.
“It seems like that from the way things went on TV, right?” Arima stuttered out as she closed her eyes. “But doesn’t it look more like a business relationship? The fans would be upset if they suddenly broke up after that kiss!”
Melt was confused on why Arima was overexplaining it, but he shrugged it off, figuring she had her own silly reasons for doing so. She quickly added on, “Well… they do look like they get along though,” her voice falling flat.
Melt hummed, and then remembered the roles that both Kurokawa and Aqua were playing in Tokyo Blade, and suddenly the casting decision for both of them made a little more sense in his head. “They’re supposed to be betrothed in the play, maybe they were aiming for that with the casting? It makes a good fit for them, you know.”
He thought the conversation would end there, or maybe drift to something else, but it seemed that Arima had other plans, dragging out the conversation even more with an expression on her face that couldn’t be described in any other way than scary. If looks could kill, Arima would definitely be guilty of that, she looked like she was about to kill someone in the moment. Melt started to worry just a bit for his own safety.
“I don’t really like it when they try to link the performers’ real lives with what’s happening on stage since it becomes distracting, you know? Even though a work can resonate with a broader audience if the viewers all have basically the same information.”
Melt seemed surprised to hear so much come out of Arima. Silently, he hoped that she would stop talking there, but to his dismay she didn’t, continuing to share her opinion on what she thought of the producers’ casting decisions. Poor Melt was just the one who had to deal with her wraith in that moment.
“For the past two centuries, promoters have always liked to add a little something like that, which may or may not have any meaning, so it’s probably not going to change..”
And that was the moment Melt realized for the first time just how scary of a person Arima could be.
“Seems like I’ve struck a nerve,” Melt muttered awkwardly, before glancing down at the ground as he spoke. “Arima, when we were doing Sweet Today, you were a little more..” He trailed off, hoping she’d pick up on what he was saying, which she thankfully did.
“Back then, I was the lead, I didn’t want the set to have a bad atmosphere, but this is how I really am.”
Melt sighed. “If only you hadn’t been so considerate, had you been blunt like this from the start, I would’ve realized how bad I was sooner.”
He wished that someone would’ve set him straight all the way to even before Sweet Today. Melt’s ego had been running unchecked since the day he started middle school, he could’ve used a reality check a lot sooner.
“Actually, just forget that, it’s an excuse.” Melt added on to what he said. “Anyway, we have a lot of scenes together, I’ll prove myself with my performance.”
That was the main point of Melt taking on his role in Tokyo Blade, to prove to everyone with his performance that he’d improved both as an actor and as a person on the stage. Arima was one of the people he needed to prove himself to.
Melt’s gaze travelled back to glance at Aqua, just for a moment, before Arima directed his attention to some other conversation.
Melt was going to do his damndest to prove his worth, no matter how much it took.
Soon enough, it was time to start practicing with everyone, and Melt couldn’t help but feel a bit nervous being in the presence of everyone else. It was overwhelming at times.
Watching the way that the others acted while they rehearsed had Melt starting to doubt his ability to prove his worth, realizing just how out of place he felt in a cast chock full of professional actors and actresses, his rookie acting stood out more than he wanted it to.
Rehearsal had been going fine, with Melt trying his best to keep up to the others, but he knew damn well they were so many steps ahead of him at any given moment.
Himekawa coming in made Melt realize just how much he'd underestimated his acting ability, just like he'd done to Aqua in Sweet Today.
Maybe it was a sign for him to stop underestimating people so much, an old habit he still had yet to break.
When Himekawa rehearsed, it was like seeing the character Blade come to life right in front of his eyes.
Himekawa approached Arima soon after, seeming to be taking an interest in her. "I believe you’re Arima?" Himekawa asked her, a hint of interest behind his eyes. Once she confirmed to him who she was, he nodded his head. "You don't have to hold back."
Arima smirked.
Melt had figured out that Arima held herself back from acting to her full potential during Sweet Today, realizing that it was intended, that if she fully put her heart into it, the show would've looked worse with her being so much more skilled than the other actors on set.
Actors, the majority of the cast couldn't even be called actors. They didn't try.
But here, surrounded by others of the same skill level as her, Arima didn't have to hold herself back.
And she didn't.
When Arima and Himekawa practiced together, it wasn’t just them anymore, no, it was like they practically embodied the characteristics of Blade and Tsurugi.
It looked fun.
Melt wanted to do that too, he thought.
He felt like he was holding the other actors back with his terrible acting, but Melt also realized how much fun acting with others looked.
It was conflicting, to say the least.
Time seemed to pass by faster than normal, as suddenly it was their lunch break.
Melt had been talking to Arima about nothing of particular importance, until the both of them had been approached by Himekawa.
“Arima Kana, wanna grab a bite to eat?” Himekawa posed the question so easily.
Arima smirked, taking her script and putting it into her bag. “Sounds great, I have a ton of things I want to ask you.” She lifted the straps of the bag onto her shoulder and turned to Melt. “You’re coming too, Melt.”
“Me?” Melt questioned, he seemed to be surprised that he was being invited to lunch with the both of them, but Himekawa didn’t seem to mind the extra addition to the pair joining them, making them a trio.
“Of course, we’ve got a lot of scenes together after all.” Arima spoke, Himekawa nodding his head in agreement. Melt knew she was right, the three of them shared a lot of scenes together, so of course it would make sense that they would all gang up together to talk and hang out.
And just like that, Melt was roped into going for lunch with the both of them.
Well, it felt more like Melt was observing the two of them discussing their roles, simply feeling like a bystander as he sat between the two of them, his gaze flickering between both Arima and Himekawa as he tried to keep up with both of their shenanigans, as well as trying not to let his thoughts wander too much.
It was easy to tell that the both of them got along well from the start.
Not that Melt minded, he was just glad to be included as well, the idea of being surrounded by others who wanted him around made him feel warm on the inside.
Arima speaking to him suddenly pulled him from his thoughts. “Melt, what do you think about this scene?”
Melt blinked, and then he shrugged. “I don’t know, I’m worried about not being able to act it out in the right way.”
Arima thought for a moment, before getting an idea. “Have you ever done emotional acting before?”
Melt shook his head. “No, I’ve heard of it though.”
“Let me give you a quick rundown of it then, while we still have time!”
“Actually,” Himekawa piped up, taking note of the time. “It’s getting close to when we need to be back. I’m gonna head back early.”
“Oh, okay.” Arima nodded her head, glancing back to Melt as Himekawa walked away, leaving the two of them alone. “We probably should head back as well, I’ll give you the rundown later.”
“Thanks, Arima.”
"You don't have to be so formal! Just call me Kana, like you did on Sweet Today."
The two of them began to walk back to the studio, when Arima- no, Kana suddenly piped up again. “You seem like you have something on your mind, Melt.”
“Huh?” Melt seemed surprised that Kana had picked up on that, but then again, he was a pretty easy person to read. “Yeah, I guess you could say that.”
“Do you want to talk about it?”
“No, well, maybe, I don’t know. It’s not important,” Melt started, realizing that he had to continue his thought. “It’s just, it’s about Aqua.”
Melt felt awkward bringing up Aqua to Kana, knowing how close the two of them seemed. But Kana didn’t seem to mind, in fact, she actually wanted to hear more about what Melt had to say about the guy. “Aqua? He’s kind of a pain in the ass to deal with, you know.”
“I don’t really know,” Melt chuckled. “But I’d like to, that’s the problem.”
“Oh, looking to make a love confession are we?” Kana teased him. “You know, I think you’re the reason why he took on Sweet Today as a job. I mentioned you had a cute face, and he suddenly seemed all interested.”
“What?” Melt seemed surprised. “Firstly, hang on— run that by me again, you said I have a cute face?”
“Well, yeah.” Kana shrugged. “What, would you rather I call you pretty instead?”
“No, god, no.” Melt shook his head, feeling his cheeks start to burn from the unexpected compliment, as well as feeling his mind start to wander about what Kana’s comment implied, in terms of what Aqua thought of Melt. “We’re getting off topic, what I’m trying to get at is I want to talk to Aqua, but I don’t know how to go about it.”
As they got closer to the studio, Kana gave Melt a look that said ‘we’ll be talking about this again later’, as she replied, “I think you just need to wait for the right moment to talk to him again.” She stated as she held open the studio door for Melt to enter.
The right moment.. but when would that even be?
Melt worried he wouldn’t actually be able to work up the guts to approach Aqua like he thought so much about doing.
Two weeks passed as rehearsals continued for Tokyo Blade, and everything was seemingly going well, until the cast received the sudden news of the script being overhauled, in favor of one the original mangaka felt more satisfied with.
It was great that the script rewrite made the mangaka happier with the production, of course, but Melt worried even more about his ability to act to the level he needed to on stage, especially with all of the script changes.
The new script had more of a focus on emotional acting, Kana was supposed to teach Melt about that at some point, but never got around to it.
Everyone seemed to be pleased with the rewritten script, but Melt couldn’t shake the anxiety he felt growing.
“This can’t be for real, I don’t think I can do this.” Melt gripped onto his hair with an exasperated look on his face as he glanced over the script, sitting crossed legged on the ground. “Only half a month to rehearse, there’s seriously no way..”
Melt closed his script and scoffed, turning his head away while speaking out to Aqua, who’d been standing beside him. “It’s probably no big deal for you.”
He’d half expected Aqua to come up with some kind of witty reply, or maybe even agree with what Melt had said, after all, Melt viewed Aqua as an exceptional actor, having no doubt that he would be able to adapt to the new script easily.
“Actually,” Aqua started, turning away from Melt as he spoke. “I’m not so sure about that.”
Melt shot him a confused look. Aqua was doubting his ability to act according to the script?
Maybe they were more similar in that way than Melt had initially realized.
Deep down Melt disagreed with himself though, he knew Aqua was a better actor than he could ever imagine being, Melt had no doubts that Aqua would be able to pull it off in the end.
Until Aqua collapsed on the ground during rehearsal.
Melt stayed back while everyone crowded around Aqua, he didn’t want his presence to worsen anything. Aqua already had both Kana and Kurokawa doting on him and ensuring he was okay, he didn’t need to step in.
No matter how worried he felt, he wouldn’t step in.
“I’m fine, it’s just a bit of vertigo,” Aqua said out loud to the others, seemingly trying to downplay the situation, moving to stand up and leave the room. “Do you mind if I rest a bit until I calm down?”
Of course nobody had any objections to that.
Melt’s gaze fixated on Kurokawa as she quickly moved to follow Aqua, it made sense that she would be the one to check on him of course, she was his girlfriend after all.
Even though a part of Melt wished he’d been the one to follow after Aqua, offering him comfort despite not being the best person to rely on. He wanted to be there for Aqua, even though they’d barely interacted with one another, Melt couldn’t shake the urge he had of wanting to grow closer to him.
Melt knew Aqua wasn’t as okay as he seemed to pretend like he was.
When Melt stumbled upon Aqua hunched over the sink in the bathroom a few days later, he froze, unknowing what the right choice was in that situation.
In hindsight, Melt knew he shouldn’t have been there.
What should he do? Should he stay or should he go?
If he stayed, was Melt even in a position to help Aqua in the way he needed? If Melt stayed, could he provide Aqua with the comfort or reassurance or whatever else he needed in that moment? Not that they were close or anything, the most they’d ever been was castmates, and it was bound to remain that way for the end of time.
Unless Melt reached out first to Aqua, he might have a chance of becoming more than just castmates.
Melt's mind wandered to the time when Kana had told him he needed to reach out to Aqua while they’d been practicing.
“Look, it’s clear as day on your face, you wanna talk to him, right?” Kana had asked him one day while it’d just been the two of them, wearing an expression on her face that came off like she was going to do her damndest to get Melt talking to Aqua. “And by talking to him, I don’t mean a conversation that lasts for only a moment.”
Melt scoffed at her determination, he wouldn’t give in that easily. “Well, yeah, I do want to talk to him, but I have no reason to. Why would he take an interest in me of all people?”
Although Melt did have a reason to talk to Aqua, said reason was one Melt felt awkward about bringing up. He thought it might come off in the wrong way if he suddenly approached Aqua out of nowhere, throwing around the whole Aqua being his inspiration to pursue acting thing.
“I think you’re overestimating him,” Kana stated plainly, interrupting Melt's inner monologue. “And you say ‘why would he take an interest in me of all people’, you have to give him a reason to talk to you, which I know you already have, you dummy.”
Melt gave her an expression that read like he had no idea of what she was talking about, causing her to continue. “What I mean by that is your whole thing about Aqua being your inspiration to begin acting, yeah? I’d say that’s reason enough to talk to the guy, you know?”
Melt scoffed again. “You say that like talking to him is the easiest thing in the world.”
“What I’m getting at is that you’ve got a pretty good reason to talk to him. Honestly, I could see him being surprised if you said that to him.”
Melt thought for a moment, getting lost in thought as he sighed.
Kana picked up on Melt’s silence, speaking in a softer tone. “Look, if you’re anxious about talking to Aqua, it’s not like he’s got a lot of friends, you know? He’s not gonna reject your advances or anything, sure he may be frustrating at times, but you just gotta work through that.” Kana spoke as if she knew Aqua pretty well, which she did, but Melt could never figure out whatever was going on between the two of them. Their dynamic was strange, to say the least, and most of the time it seemed like either one of them wanted to kill each other, but he wasn’t one to judge.
Melt went to argue back, but Kana silenced him quickly. “He needs more friends— he needs more people like you, Melt.”
Once Kana said that, Melt sighed, he could only argue with her for so long, and she had a point.
“Fine, fine, I’ll talk to him sometime.”
“That’s what I like to hear! And I hope you know I’ll be holding you to it.”
Melt knew Kana would be holding him to it, and that was a little scary to think about. She really could be scary at times.
Melt thought back to what Kana said at the beginning of rehearsals.
You just need to wait for the right moment to talk to him again.
Perhaps the opportunity in front of Melt was his chance to finally talk to Aqua, like he’d been longing to do so.
No, he quickly shook away that thought, he was silly to even consider that, especially in the moment where Aqua clearly needed help.
Melt knew he should’ve just backed away, leaving silently before Aqua even had the chance of acknowledging his presence, that’s how it should’ve been, and yet Melt made no effort to move, standing awkwardly in the doorway of the bathroom, like he was frozen, unable to move, not out of choice.
If he turned and left, walking away from Aqua, he knew deep down he’d be making a mistake.
Instead, Melt stepped forward, slowly, he didn’t want to startle Aqua, especially not in the state of mind he’d currently been dealing with.
He could tell Aqua was having a panic attack— or at least, he assumed that's what was going on, given his behaviors. As much as he didn't want to admit it, Melt was familiar with having panic attacks, he knew how much they could take out of a person, and it seemed that Aqua was having a similar reaction to what had happened when he’d collapsed the other day.
Melt didn’t know what to do, but he also knew he couldn’t just stand in silence the whole time either, so he chose to speak up. “Aqua?”
Aqua didn’t respond immediately, but he turned his head to look at Melt after a moment had passed, breathing heavily, gripping onto the sink with such force it seemed like he would wither away if he let go of it.
Melt chose to step closer, and closer, until he stood right beside Aqua, looking at him with a worried expression in his face. He was worried, he’d been worried this whole time for Aqua’s wellbeing. “Are you okay?”
That was a stupid question, of course Aqua wasn’t okay. Melt had never seen the other look so pale, almost as if he was being haunted by something, unable to move.
Melt felt his heartbeat quicken as he reached over and gently placed his hand on top of Aqua’s, watching and waiting to see if he could gauge a reaction out of him, but it never came. Melt gently began to pry away Aqua’s fingers from the sink, until he was gently holding onto his hands, softly rubbing them in a way that Melt hoped could provide Aqua with some comfort.
“You need to rest,” Melt stated as he gently began to lead Aqua over to the bathroom door, helping him sit down on the floor, he knew it wasn’t the best option, but Melt also didn’t want to drag Aqua back out to where everyone else was, he figured Aqua didn’t like the attention of everyone worrying over him.
Melt took his place beside Aqua, sitting in silence as he listened to him trying to slow his breaths.
Melt hoped his presence offered Aqua some form of comfort, even if he wasn’t the best person to be offering comfort in the first place. He’d never thought much of how his actions affected others in the past, so it was like he was learning how much space he could take up for the first time.
In the past, Melt had been too loud, too overbearing, too much for others to handle. He knew that now, knew he needed to step back and evaluate how others around him felt, he just wished others would have spoken up sooner instead of him clueing in on his own after so much time had already passed.
Melt tried to be more understanding, more gentle with others when he interacted with them, especially with people who’d seen the old Melt, he was especially gentle with them, hoping to prove that he’d grown as a person.
Melt was trying his best to be gentle with Aqua, but he couldn’t gauge how Aqua felt at all.
By staying at Aqua’s side, was Melt being too much?
Would it have been better if he just left, backing away before he got involved?
Melt tried to tell himself no, tried to say that Aqua must’ve appreciated his efforts in some twisted way of his own, he never knew what was going on inside of Aqua’s head, but he figured that if he didn’t want him there, Melt would’ve known by now.
Aqua wouldn’t put up with that kind of thing if he didn’t like it, Melt knew that much.
But even knowing that, the voice in the back of Melt’s mind grew louder, telling him that reaching out to Aqua was a mistake.
Kana had said earlier that Aqua didn’t have a lot of friends. Melt knew that, but he doubted his ability to be there for Aqua when he needed it most, doubted his ability to be a good friend for Aqua, if they could even be considered friends.
“Sorry,” Aqua started, pulling Melt’s attention away from his thoughts as his gaze fixated on Aqua, noting how he stared down at the tiled linoleum flooring. “I’m sorry you had to see me like this.”
Melt shook his head, he was going to try his best to be there for Aqua, he thought it was kind of silly that he was apologizing for something out of his control. “I don’t mind, really, I just wanted to make sure you were okay.”
“It’s not your problem to deal with, though.” Aqua replied with a look of guilt on his face.
“Well, I made it my problem to deal with.” Melt pulled out his phone and glanced at the time, furrowing his brow. “You should probably go home and rest, I know how tiring panic attacks can be.”
“I can’t just leave,” Aqua shook his head, standing to his feet, offering Melt a hand to help him up. “I’ll be fine, really.”
Melt looked at Aqua with an expression that definitely showed he was doubting that he would really be okay, but he didn’t voice his concerns, instead taking Aqua’s hand and standing to his feet as well.
As he followed behind Aqua as they walked out of the bathroom, Melt worried if he’d done enough for Aqua. He was a hard to read person, so it felt like Melt was left completely in the dark on whether or not he made a mistake by trying to comfort Aqua.
A part of Melt was glad that out of everyone that could’ve stumbled upon Aqua in that bathroom, it ended up being him, and they had a chance to talk with each other, just a bit.
Melt was glad to be making some progress in talking to Aqua, even if it was just baby steps.
A few days after what had happened between him and Aqua, Melt tracked him down and dropped the question of “Can we rehearse together?” before even giving himself the chance to back out.
Melt figured that him staying by Aqua’s side during his panic attack gave him the right to try and interact with Aqua more, one-on-one, and it seemed that he was willing to put up with Melt’s shenanigans.
Aqua stared at him, tilting his head slightly. “We barely have any scenes together.”
“Sorry, yeah, you’re right— let me rephrase that. Can I watch you rehearse?” Of course it was stupid to ask Aqua to rehearse together. “If I could watch you, I think I’d be able to improve on my acting some, you know?”
“I don’t think I’m the best person to be learning from,” Aqua argued back, but then sighed. “Do as you please.”
Melt watched the way Aqua moved, studying his actions and words with close intent, like he was trying to burn every detail of Aqua into his retinas, as if the moment would slip away from him if he blinked.
Melt realized that the two of them would most likely drift apart after the end of Tokyo Blade, and that didn’t sit right with him at all. He didn’t want to let Aqua out of his grasp.
He wanted to be by Aqua’s side, for a reason he didn’t even fully understand.
But by watching Aqua, by talking to Aqua, Melt felt happy, content, like he never wanted those moments to end, warmth growing in his chest.
Aqua suddenly speaking to Melt pulled him from his thoughts. “Let me see your acting.”
Melt blinked, furrowing his brows in confusion. “Why?”
“You’ve been watching me this whole time,” Aqua shrugged with a look of curiosity in his eyes. “I want to see what you’re capable of, too.”
So that’s how it was going to be.
Melt wandered over and picked up his wooden practice sword, in which the handle was looking more and more tattered as the days went by, the damage done to the prop showcasing how foolishly hardworking Melt was.
He began to run through his scenes, unsure of what exactly Aqua was looking to witness, until he’d been stopped suddenly.
“What, was my acting that bad?” Melt asked, half-jokingly, hoping Aqua wouldn’t actually agree with that, even if he knew it was true.
“Not exactly,” Aqua started, taking a moment to ponder about what he wanted to say next. “It’s just, I can tell you don’t know where to direct your focus when you’re rehearsing.”
It was that easy to tell? Melt sighed at himself internally.
“It’s up to you on how you want to utilize your rehearsals, but trying to improve every facet of yourself would barely make a difference. Instead, I think it’d be better to focus on improving a single aspect to give yourself a fighting chance.”
Melt stared at Aqua like a deer would in headlights, like he was trying to comprehend the advice that was being given to him, but not fully understanding what to do with it.
Aqua must’ve picked up on Melt’s confusion, not that it was hard to tell, as he continued to speak. “It isn’t a problem to be seen as crap, you’ve just got to utilize your shittiness, the biggest scene you can focus your acting on is your duel with Monme. You’re hardworking, so I’m sure you can pull it off if you start to focus on that.”
It finally clicked in what Melt would have to do.
Melt felt his cheeks grow warm at Aqua’s compliment, he was glad that someone saw him as hardworking. All those months of learning how to act felt like they paid off the moment Aqua gave Melt even just a little bit of praise.
Utilize your shittiness, the biggest scene you can focus your acting on is your duel with Monme.
Melt was going to do exactly that.
The weeks seemed to pass by fast, and the opening night for Tokyo Blade finally was upon the cast.
Melt couldn’t help but feel nervous as he patiently waited for his cue to go on stage for his duel with Monme, or actually, he wasn’t being patient at all, moving around awkwardly in place as he fidgeted with his hands.
He’d spent most of his rehearsal time delving into his own feelings in order to properly play the role of Kizami during the duel, where heightened emotions mattered the most.
Melt had been told to study Kizami as a character more, but he didn’t even know where to start, he didn’t have a grasp on characterization in the same way the veteran actors did, fully grasping their character’s mental states in ways he couldn’t even begin to imagine or understand.
His incompetence was understandable, he’d only been taking acting lessons for around six months, but Melt knew if he didn’t take the time to understand the emotions Kizami was feeling, it would be detrimental to the entire cast’s hard work.
Melt had an explanation for his shitty acting, but he knew damn well it wasn’t an excuse to impede the other actors.
As Melt stared at the manga for Tokyo Blade, he kept asking himself what kind of person Kizami was.
Kizami got his ass kicked by someone he looked down upon, struggling in vain and suffering from an embarrassing loss. Melt thought he was uncool for that.
“Why are you making such a miserable face..?” Melt’s gaze landed on the full page image of Kizami, trying to grasp what emotions the character on the page was dealing with.
“Like me..” His gaze was downcast, as Melt came to a realization.
Oh.
Kizami was frustrated. He thought he was strong, but came to the conclusion that he was just weak below the surface, pitiful, pathetic, and frustrated.
Just like Melt.
“In that case,” Melt muttered as he stared down at the page, tears clouding his vision, spilling down his cheeks as he realized the similarities between himself and Kizami. “I completely get you.”
Melt channeled the emotions he felt into his duel with Monme, from the pain in his eyes, to every movement of his fingers, in a carefully, calculated way so that his feelings of frustration would reach the audience.
Melt— no, Kizami lifted his arms up as he held onto the wooden sword, crying out, “I won’t lose to anyone!”
I spent the entire month focusing on just this one minute.
I don’t care that you’ve been acting for ten years.
In this one minute, I won’t lose to anyone.
As Melt returned backstage, he received praise from Kamoshida, who’d thrown his arm around him with enthusiasm. “That was pretty good, totally different from rehearsals! You put some really good emotions into that, I’ll be counting on you to keep it up next time too!”
As Kamoshida walked away, Melt’s gaze landed on Aqua, as he turned to him.
After all, acting should carry emotion along with it.
That was the line that’d stuck with Melt despite all of the time that had passed since their first encounter.
“I finally understood what you meant that time,” Melt started, grinning at Aqua. “This is fun!”
Aqua gave a small smile to Melt, seemingly pleased with his conclusion. “Is that so?”
Seeing Aqua smile at him was enough for Melt.
It felt like a smile that was just meant for Melt, in that moment.
“Your scene with Kurokawa is up next, isn’t it?” Melt pointed out. “I’m looking forward to seeing you!”
Aqua gave him another small smile as he nodded his head, turning to walk away to prepare himself to enter on stage.
While Melt watched Aqua act on stage, he was filled with warm feelings all throughout his body.
Melt watched the way Aqua seemed to battle his inner demons on stage, and honestly, that made him seem all the more amazing in Melt’s eyes. The fact that, despite all of the suffering he went through, he used it to his advantage, turning out a performance that managed to move the audience to tears as Aqua poured his heart out on stage.
It moved Melt to the point of tears as well, just like it’d done to the audience.
“How did you do that?! I can’t believe you pulled that off!” Melt gushed to Aqua as soon as he was able to, beaming brightly at him, taking Aqua’s hands in his own without even realizing it.
“It was nothing, really” Aqua spoke, with just the slightest hint of a smile visible on his face.
“You call that nothing?! Man, you were amazing!” Melt continued to praise Aqua.
“Don’t sell yourself short either, your scene turned out pretty good too.” Aqua gently squeezed Melt’s hands.
“O-oh, really, you really think so?” Melt felt his cheeks growing hot as Aqua complimented him, it meant the world to him, it really did.
“Yeah,” Aqua nodded his head. “Your hard work paid off. Just think of how far you can go if you keep it up.”
Melt stared at Aqua, his toothy smile slowly returning.
If Aqua believed in Melt, then surely he’d be able to go far, his praise was enough to carry Melt through whatever hardships he was to face.
Aqua probably didn’t even realize the effect he’d had on Melt.
As Tokyo Blade wrapped up, Melt made an effort to find Aqua and bid his farewell to him specifically, hoping they would be able to act together again someday.
As they both exited the studio building for the last time, Melt waved to Aqua, beaming at him. “I’ll see you later, Aqua!”
“Yeah, I’ll see you around.” Aqua gave Melt his own wave, and that was that, the two of them separating onto their own paths once again.
Melt didn’t think much of Aqua’s response, but as the days and weeks passed by where he didn’t hear from Aqua, Melt realized what was going on.
He sighed, frustrated with both himself and Aqua. He tried to push through Aqua’s walls and get closer to him, but it was like it didn’t work.
Melt was left wondering how long it would be until the two of them ran into each other again.
After all, Melt still needed to thank Aqua for everything he’d done for him, and continued to do for him, even after they drifted apart.