Chapter Text
Another sleepless night.
Jungkook thinks this might be the third…or fourth in a row. At this point it’s too hard to keep track.
The alcohol rests heavily in his stomach and the ache of loss tight in his chest. If he were in his right mind, dialing up Namjoons number would seem a lot more like a terrible idea.
But right now all reason is out the window, it left him after his last drink, and all he wants is to hear his friends comforting voice.
It’s been months now, almost close to a year since he’s heard that voice, since he’s seen Namjoons face and felt his touch.
After eight months apart Jungkook thought he was finally going to be okay without the blonde haired man but now sitting on the floor of his kitchen well passed anything considered tipsy he realizes he never actually got over it. Never got over the absence and space.
Maybe he never will, maybe he’ll only get as far as telling himself he doesn’t miss Namjoon only to cry at the loss during nights like these.
The phone rings and the voice of reason inside that’s almost non existent through the drunk haze gets muddled with the need to just hear Namjoon.
“Jungkook?” He answers and his voice is gruff as if just waking up.
Right it’s the middle of the night.
“Hey.” Jungkook struggles to get even just the word out.
But Namjoon picked up. He actually picked up.
“Jungkook are you okay? Why are you calling?” Namjoon sounds more awake and worried. It almost makes the other laugh.
“D’you ever think bout how things used to be?” Even in his state Jungkook’s able to tell his syllables are slurring terribly. He closes his eyes, fingers still gripping the almost empty bottle, and rests his head on the cabinet behind him. “An’ and get sad?”
There’s a pause. “I-Jungkook are you okay?”
“Mm” he hums. He’s not. Hasn’t been for a long time now. “‘S cold in here.” He continues on a new train of thought. The floor isn’t as welcoming as it seemed when he sat down a while ago. Man is he tired. “Miss you. Miss seeing you.” His tongue feels too thick.
He feels somewhat accomplished with just hearing Namjoon and lays his head down on the tiles beneath him allowing the chill to send a shiver through his body. The coolness of it feels good on his fuzzy head.
“Jungkook are you…are you drunk?” The shock in his friends in the others voice reminds Jungkook how he only started drinking after Namjoon left.
“I don’ drink.” That should cover it up. And it’s true…it used to be.
“Where are you kid? Tell hyung okay? Where are you?” There’s rustling over the line.
It’s been a while since Namjoon was his hyung.
Jungkook takes a breath. “Thanks ‘s answering Joon.” The nickname slips out and Jungkook sloppily hits his phone to end the call which takes a few tries all while Namjoon says jumbled words to keep Jungkook on the line but he’s too tired to understand them.
The call ends. Jungkook finally sleeps.
~~~
The sun is shining through the cracks in Jungkook’s blinds when he wakes up.
He’s in bed which…doesn’t make sense. He doesn’t remember much from last night but what he does remember is that he definitely fell asleep on the kitchen floor.
Trying to make sense of it is a bit too much right now through the throbbing headache and persistent need to vomit.
Moving already proves to be too much but his desire to puke into the toilet instead of on himself wins out over anything else.
Jungkook stumbles blindly from his bed, tripping over himself and running into things, to reach the bathroom before he empties his stomach. The alcohol burns coming back up and he wishes more than anything he could completely disconnect from his body to not feel any of it.
A gentle hand, so soft Jungkook wonders if he imagines it, is on his back. It rubs up and down in a comforting manor and though his ears are ringing he can catch faint words that change the empty lonely room into an encompassing embrace.
Coughing out one last time, Jungkook turns to find if the comfort behind him is real or not.
It is.
“You’re alright Kookie, just let it all out.” It’s Jin.
Jungkook wipes his mouth before falling into his hyungs chest. The motion and sudden full body weight of the younger startles his friend momentarily before he hugs Jungkook back, petting at his unruly mess of hair.
Jungkook ends up throwing up one last time and after he’s helped up to brush his teeth then back in bed. He’s not sure how it’s possible or when Jin had the time to do it but there’s clean sheets on his mattress and they feel incredible and cool against his aching hot skin. His headache is finally subsiding after some water and medicine and he’s at a zen place from the ache the rest of his body has been in for a while now.
He relishes in the contact of Jin’s palm on his cheek as he snuggles deeper into the covers.
“I was terrified for you Kookie.” While said quietly and tenderly, it still makes Jungkook flinch. He was just waiting for when the shoe would drop. “What were you thinking drinking so much.” There’s pain in Jin’s voice.
“Clearly I wasn’t thinking Hyung.” The bitterness in his own voice is slightly drowned out by how bone tired he is.
Jin sighs. “Namjoon called me frantically at 4 am freaking out about how you…” Jin sits back. He’s on the edge of the bed and pulls his hand back. “So you called him?”
“Honestly I don’t remember last night at all.” He does. He can remember pieces of it now, pieces of the phone call. It was short he thinks…but he’s not sure what he said. Jungkook turns his face away to hide how bad of a liar he is.
Jin signs again and after a moment he speaks up again. “Have you been sleeping?” His eyes search too deep into Jungkook’s.
“Of course.” He lies through his teeth.
“Eating?”
“Yeah.” Last thing he ate was the day before yesterday and it was his last pack of ramen.
“I need you to stop lying to me.” The blatant calling out shocks Jungkook.
“What’s with the interrogation I’m-“
“Have you taken a look at yourself Jungkook? Your ribs are poking out and the bags under your eyes are begging to be checked!”
“I’m fine!” Jungkook own volume to his voice is too much for his headache. “I’m fine hyung.”
“You’re really not Jungkook and I know you’ve been trying to hide that for a while now but I see you! I see what you’re doing to yourself.”
“Jin…”
“You called Namjoon, Kookie.” Silence follows. “You called Namjoon. You’re not okay.”