Chapter Text
In fifth grade, Megumi placed third in a county spelling bee. He didn’t remember much of it really - he didn’t remember the word he lost on, he didn’t remember the kids who won first and second, he didn’t remember the word that won him the school-wide bee, which is what got him to the county bee in the first place. What he did remember was one of the words he got as his school’s spelling bee was down to five or so people.
"Your word is family," the pronouncer said. He didn’t remember their face.
He repeated the word in his mind. Family. He knew what a family was, everyone did, but he asked for the definition anyway because that’s what you do at a spelling bee apparently.
"A group of one or more parents and their children living together as a unit."
He blinked. That was pretty much what he expected, but something about it felt off.
He spelled the word, correctly, and moved on. But it stayed in his head, even as he listened to and spelled other words. He heard it in his mind on the way home. He thought about how the sounds, the shapes of the word felt in his mouth.
That night, he used Tsumiki’s phone (he didn’t get his own until he started middle school) while she brushed her teeth to look up the definition of family.
A group of one or more parents and their children living together as a unit. All the descendants of a common ancestor. The basic unit in society traditionally consisting of two parents rearing their children. A group of people who are related to each other, such as a mother, a father, and their children.
He couldn’t help but notice that none of these applied to him.
By definition, Megumi didn’t have a family. He had his sister, until he didn’t. And his dogs don’t count, as much as he adores them. He only had the guy who basically raised him. His legal guardian. The man too young to be his father, but more of a father to him than his biological parents ever were.
It took Megumi awhile to warm up to Satoru Gojo. After nearly ten years, he still calls him by his last name, if only by force of habit at this point. And despite the formative years of his life greatly shaped by obnoxiously bright blue eyes, Gojo was not his family. But that doesn’t feel quite right, does it?
Tsumiki was the only person Megumi could say he’d known longer than Gojo. He only had distant, fuzzy memories of his life before Gojo took them in. For a brief nine months or so, they lived in Gojo’s cramped apartment that made the small house they moved into feel like a mansion. Megumi remembered feeling bad when they were moving in because many of the bags and boxes were too big and heavy for him to carry, but Gojo had smiled and ruffled his hair and found him some things to move that were more his size, assuring him that he was "super strong" and "this is nothing for me".
Megumi didn’t remember why they were at an animal shelter, but a black puppy and a white puppy with pointy ears caught his attention and he thought they looked like yin and yang and they sniffed his hands and licked his cheek and wouldn’t leave him alone and the worker said they were siblings.
He didn’t even realize he was smiling and giggling until Gojo’s shoe entered his vision and he looked up at him with a big grin. "I always wanted dogs," Gojo had said, something warm and wistful in his expression, and the dogs came home with them. Tsumiki named the white one Lady after Lady and the Tramp, her favorite movie at the time, and Megumi named the black one Mochi because he was squishy like mochi. Gojo taught them how to care for the dogs, and the chaotic little furballs grew up with them. It’s strange how growing up with someone or something makes it seem like they’ve simply always been there.
That’s how it was with Gojo. He’d just always been there. He was there when Megumi sprained his ankle after falling off the monkey-bars in third grade. He was there when Tsumiki started getting sick and Megumi was so scared, but somehow he made it feel like things were still okay. He was there when Megumi was constantly getting into fights and he and Tsumiki weren’t talking as much. When Megumi was thirteen and started thinking that maybe he’s bisexual, he felt comfortable enough to ask Gojo "how did you know for sure you were gay?" because as much as the guy poked fun at everyone around him, he made sure Megumi and Tsumiki knew that they were loved no matter what. And because at that point, Megumi knew that Gojo was about as gay as it gets. And Gojo told him how he fell in love with his best friend in high school, and Megumi realized he didn’t know very much about Gojo’s life before him.
It didn’t take long for Megumi to figure out that the very same best friend Gojo spoke of was one Suguru Geto, an "old friend" that Gojo had reconnected with after not seeing him for several years. Geto had broad shoulders and kind eyes and two girls that he’d taken in around the same time Gojo had adopted the Fushiguro kids. Mimiko and Nanako were twins, seemingly attached at the hip, a year younger than Megumi. As with everyone, it took Megumi a bit to warm up to Geto and the twins. But Mimiko and Nanako adored Tsumiki, and they were all good with the dogs, and seeing how much Gojo trusted Geto eased Megumi’s anxieties a bit, even though he didn't usually trust Gojo's judgement in the slightest.
Occasionally they would visit Geto and the twins in their glossy apartment, but because of the dogs and the complex’s no pet policy, usually they would come over to the Gojo-Fushiguro household for dinners and movie nights. Megumi and the girls would lightheartedly complain about their legal guardians and how they were always making goo goo eyes at each other. But it was clear to Megumi how much Mimiko and Nanako loved Geto and how much he loved them. And the twins could similarly tell how much Megumi and Tsumiki loved Gojo, and that he really loved them too.
That was their life. Maybe they weren’t conventional, but they were normal. They were mundane.
Megumi started high school and Gojo would drop him and Tsumiki off every morning on his way to the university he taught at, and they would walk home together every afternoon, and Gojo would return a couple hours later, just in time to make dinner together. But then Tsumiki got sicker. All of a sudden, there was a timer on her life. She began spending half her time in the hospital, half her time living her normal life at school and at home. And then she was spending more time in the hospital than she was at school and home. By the end of the school year, she was full time inpatient at the hospital. It had been a long time coming, they’d all known it was, but it was unexpected nonetheless.
Gojo and Megumi had to get used to being in the house without her. She was always the one who did the dishes, and Megumi would put them away once they dried, but now he did both himself. The three of them would reach around each other in their tiny kitchen to cook together, but now there was suddenly more empty space. Gojo started taking more time off of teaching to drive Megumi to the hospital to visit Tsumiki every day. Megumi noticed that he was wearing his sunglasses indoors more often. Geto and the twins visited at least once a week, often more than once. And Tsumiki always smiled.
Geto would read to her when he could tell she was tired because she said his voice was soothing, and it could put her right to sleep when she needed. Mimiko and Nanako would tell her about the gossip at their middle school when they knew she needed some silliness, some lightheartedness, some "girl talk". Gojo would hold her hand and tell her funny stories about the students he taught when he could tell she was sad. Megumi would tell her about school because she liked hearing little details about his life. He told her he still ate lunch with Maki and Okkotsu and Inumaki and Panda and that they missed her, and she commented on how he was always better at making friends with the older kids. He showed her pictures and videos of Lady and Mochi, but decided against telling her how they always waited for her at the door even after Megumi returned from school, how he sometimes found them lying in her room, because he knew it would just make her more sad and homesick. And she always smiled.
Her condition got worse and worse. He skin grew pale, her cheeks were sallow, her breathing was labored. When Gojo passed on the news that she probably only had days left, Nanako cried. Geto hugged Gojo for a long time in the parking lot before they left, rubbing circles between his shoulder blades. Megumi missed the last day of school because the doctors said Tsumiki might only have hours now. He and Gojo had spent all of the previous night at the hospital, only going home to feed and walk the dogs. And still she smiled.
It was between 6 and 7 pm when Tsumiki flatlined. Megumi had been telling her about the squirrel that got inside the school and how Panda had supposedly "tamed" it and released it outside. She was holding his hand. She laughed a little bit. She said "I love you" and he said "I love you too." She lay peacefully for a few long minutes, eyes closed, like she was sleeping, before she stopped breathing. Her hand was still warm. She was still smiling.
Gojo and Megumi drove home in silence. The sky looked different that night. Lady and Mochi greeted them excitedly when they entered the house. Megumi sat down in the entryway, petting Mochi, not bothering to take his shoes off yet. Gojo set his bag down by the couch.
"You hungry?" Gojo asked.
"No." Megumi responded.
Mochi sniffed his face, something like concern in his movements. Megumi’s vision grew blurry. Gojo walked over and sat next to him. He pulled him into a hug and Megumi cried, no energy to do anything other than grip the fabric of his shirt and sob into his chest.
That summer was a strange one. Gojo and Megumi had already become somewhat accustomed to living without Tsumiki, but now it was a raw and open wound. Not bleeding, just sitting, waiting to heal.
A week or so after her death, Megumi woke up when the colors of the sunrise still hadn't taken their leave. As he lightly padded down the stairs, knowing that staying in bed would just lead to him staying there all day, he heard something clatter in the kitchen and Gojo curse under his breath. He paused at the bottom of the stairs. Gojo walked over to the couch and sat down, staring at something in his hand. It was a magnet, one that Tsumiki made in her fourth grade class that had been on the fridge for years. He wasn’t wearing his sunglasses inside anymore. Megumi could see the dark circles under his eyes, the slump in his shoulders. He went and sat next to him. Gojo turned to look at him.
"You and her always tilted your head in the same way," he said. His voice was raw from lack of use the past week. "I think that’s where the dogs get it from."
A tear slipped out his eye, crawling down his cheek. Megumi had never seen him cry. He leaned his head against Gojo’s shoulder and wrapped his arms around him. Gojo hugged him back, resting his head atop Megumi’s. They stayed there for a long while. Megumi felt Gojo’s heartbeat softly against his skull. He was glad that he wasn’t alone. He’d lost the only family he had, but he wasn’t alone.
They were both mostly back to their normal selves by the time school started up again. Gojo said "have a nice day at school sweetieeee mwah mwah mwah" when he dropped Megumi off on his first day and Megumi rolled his eyes. Even though he’d done it many times last year, walking home without Tsumiki felt strange. It was strange that being alone with the dogs after school was his new normal. That night, Gojo made his favorite curry for dinner.
On the first Friday of the school year, Geto and the twins came over for a movie night. Tsumiki’s absence was still very apparent, but they were able to keep a light mood, Mimiko and Nanako dutifully answering all of Gojo’s questions about how their first week of high school went, not letting the lingering sadness drag down the enthusiasm. Gojo was out like a light half way through the movie, and Mimiko had fallen asleep on Megumi’s shoulder by the end as well.
After they sleepily saw the others off, Gojo wrapped Megumi in a loose hug out of nowhere. "I’m proud of you," he said.
Megumi felt a pang in his chest. Gojo had said it before, several times over the years, but this one felt different. He hadn’t accomplished anything in particular, he hadn’t expressed doubt or asked for assurance, he just was there. And Gojo was proud of him. Megumi had no idea how much that meant to him until he felt its weight.
He relied on Gojo more than he realized, as much as any child would rely on a capable and loving parent. But Gojo wasn’t his family. At least, not real family. Because that’s not what family means. But he didn’t have any other term for their little situation, their tiny house with a backyard just big enough for the dogs to run around in, the dog door that Megumi could fit through when he was little, Gojo’s shiny car parked on the gravel outside because there was no garage or driveway, their tiny kitchen in which two was too many cooks, Megumi and Tsumiki’s bedrooms right next to each other on the second floor, the tiny bathroom across from them, Gojo’s "master" bedroom and bathroom downstairs (they were just as small as everything else in the house, so it was hard to associate them with the word master), the pictures that covered more and more of the walls with every passing year. Megumi supposed it was home. Though he wasn’t sure if he really knew what that word meant either.
That is, until Yuji Itadori tumbled gracelessly into his life and opened up the doors of definition to so many more possibilities. He and Nobara Kugisaki were new to the district, Kugisaki having just moved from the city, Itadori having transferred from a neighboring district for reasons not yet disclosed to Megumi. The classroom that they all happened to have English in for fifth period had its desks organized into groups of four, and the three of them just so happened to end up seated at the only grouping in which the fourth desk was empty.
Itadori and Kugisaki were very talkative. They would "discuss" the books they were assigned (usually Megumi and Kugisaki catching Itadori up on the chapters he was behind on,) they’d proofread each other’s essays, and he ended up befriending them somewhat against his will.
Megumi began the year eating lunch with Maki, Inumaki, Panda, and Okkotsu (who was only there half of the time because he was the busiest person alive,) the juniors he probably only befriended because of Tsumiki, but was lucky enough to still be welcome with.
One day, Itadori asked Megumi if he could sit with them and Maki said "sure!" before Megumi could. A few days later, Kugisaki joined as well, and it became their daily routine. Then they’d part ways with the juniors and walk to English class together.
After a month or so, Megumi found himself in a group chat with all of them, as well as one with just Itadori and Kugisaki. All three of them walked home, Itadori splitting off after several blocks, and then Kugisaki turning a different direction another several blocks later, so they started meeting up by the back lot after school to begin the walk home together. Megumi thought it was strange walking home alone, but stranger still was walking home with people who had somehow become his friends. Friends that he’d made on his own. He learned a lot about them on these walks. And of course, it was inevitable that they meet Gojo at some point.
One afternoon, on a day that had the distinctive chill of autumn in full swing, Gojo pulled up in the parking lot as Megumi and co. exited the school building. He remembered grumbling something under his breath that earned him a comparison to Charlie Brown, which would become a favorite nickname of Thing 1 and Thing 2 (a nickname Megumi only ever called his friends in his head). Apparently the university Gojo taught at had no classes that day, so Gojo only went in for office hours and some lesson planning and thought he’d swing by to drive Megumi home for once. Itadori, being the teddybear that he is, introduced himself enthusiastically as soon as Gojo asked "are these your friends?" and Kugisaki followed suit. Somehow, Gojo and Itadori began animatedly discussing an obscure horror-comedy film while Kugisaki observed, quite amused, and Megumi stood there frowning, decidedly less amused. It ended with Gojo saying that Itadori and Kugisaki were welcome to come over any time, which they were very excited about because they were dying to meet Lady and Mochi.
And so, spontaneous movie nights, study sessions, and other ambiguous hangouts at Megumi’s house became a regular occurrence, though he wasn’t entirely sure how, because it wasn’t often that he invited them himself, but very often that they simply decided they were coming over. The walk to his house was a bit long, but neither of his new friends seemed to mind. They ended up staying for dinner one night, and then they were staying more and more because they loved Gojo and Megumi’s cooking. They loved the dogs, and the dogs loved them. Itadori especially was constantly cuddling and playing with them every time he was over, so much that he started finding dog hairs on his backpack occasionally.
Over the months, the three of them grew closer. Itadori and Kugisaki were both the type to express affection with physical contact, which Megumi wasn’t used to. But after several movie nights of being squished between two warm bodies or even simply crossing ankles with one of them, he became accustomed to it. He even began to enjoy it. He never thought he’d appreciate the touch of anyone other than family. (There’s that word again. He still wasn’t sure how it fit into his life.) But as the calendar started over and the weather just began to warm up again, he was inviting hugs, leaning into an arm around his shoulder, playing with Nobara’s hair when she rested her head in his lap. It was warm. It was comforting when he needed a small comfort.
Their second semester was approaching the half-way point when Itadori and Megumi spent an entire Sunday afternoon doing absolutely nothing together. They were originally going to eat at a restaurant in town with Kugisaki that none of them had been to before, but she had something come up that evening that she didn’t want to miss, and they didn’t want to go without her. They walked all over the place, randomly wandering through alleys and parking lots they weren’t familiar with, getting hot cocoa at their favorite café before it closed for the day because hot cocoa season was almost over and Yuji missed it already.
They ended up at the playing field between the downtown area and one of the residential neighborhoods, sitting on the rusted bleachers with their hot cocoa, watching the sunset. A breeze passed by, reminding them that it was getting colder as it got darker. Yuji shifted closer to Megumi, their shoulders pressed against each other to share warmth.
Yuji let out a sigh, relaxing into his seat more. Megumi looked over at him. He was looking out at the sky somewhat wistfully, a small, peaceful smile on his lips. Megumi could see the melting sunlight reflected in his eyes, bringing out the light amber tones in his irises. He could see the now faint scar between Yuji's eyebrows (which he’d gotten when he and that senior Todo got a little too rowdy playing football and he hit his face on the corner of a fence. Classic Itadori). His eyes flicked to the side and he noticed Megumi looking at him.
"What?" He asked, tilting his head, still holding that little smile.
"Nothing." Megumi said, directing his attention back out at the horizon, subconsciously donning a smile of his own. "You look happy."
"Heh, I guess I am."
They were quiet for a moment. Yuji gulped down the last of his hot cocoa and set the empty cup on the bleachers next to him. "I was thinking about my grandpa."
Megumi remembered Itadori talking about his grandfather before. He’d raised him and reunited him with a family friend, Choso, who, much like them, didn’t have any other family left.
"Before he died, he told me to make lots of friends and surround myself with people I loved. That seemed like such a difficult task a year ago, but now I’m starting to get it. I thought I’d lost the only family I had, and maybe I did, but… But I have family now. I think that’s kinda what he meant."
Megumi turned Yuji's words over in his head. He did not know kinda what he meant. He had an inkling, but he wasn’t sure. He spoke up before he could lose the nerve.
"Can I ask you something kinda weird?"
"Shoot."
"What does family mean to you? Like, how do you define the word?"
Yuji hummed in thought, gazing upward. "I guess… family is… family is home. Like y’know, home is where the heart is? It’s the people you love who surround you. It’s the people you hold close in your heart." He looked at Megumi, meeting his eyes. "You’re my family."
Megumi’s heart squeezed in his chest. He’d never met someone so earnest and compassionate as Yuji. "That’s so cheesy."
"Hey, you asked!" Yuji threw an arm around him and roughly pulled him into a hug, shaking him a little bit. Megumi couldn’t help but laugh, wrapping his arms around Yuji’s waist and squeezing him back.
That night a new word added itself to the annoying section of Megumi’s brain that liked to whisper uncertainty in his ear at the worst times. Home. Family is home, Yuji said. But what does home mean?
When he got home, (he guessed it really was home. It was comfortable and safe. That’s what a home is supposed to be, right?) Gojo was slumped on the couch, buried under a pile of black fur, Lady curled up in front of the couch (she loved to make getting up a very hazardous venture for whoever was seated). Both dogs perked their heads up at the sound of the door opening. They jumped up to greet Megumi and Gojo let out a strangled noise at Mochi's paws kicking off of his stomach.
He sat up and stretched while Megumi took off his shoes and gave the dogs scratches in their respective favorite spots. "Welcome home," he said through a yawn.
Megumi hummed in response. There was that word again. It bounced around in his skull.
"There’s leftovers in the fridge if you’re hungry," Gojo continued, scrubbing a hand down his face. "And I restocked us on our usual snacks."
"Thanks," Megumi replied. Gojo was much more of a snacker than he was, but he appreciated it nonetheless. They still got Tsumiki’s favorite cereal, even though they didn’t eat it nearly as much as she did, because they discovered that Yuji and Nobara loved it, and Gojo liked to always be prepared to host friends. In a way, it felt like they were including her.
"You turning in already?" Megumi asked as Gojo slowly meandered toward his room.
"Yep," Gojo answered. His sleep schedule was somehow always even more out of whack than your average neurodivergent teenager (Megumi included). It was only nine or so, and Megumi knew that meant he’d probably be up at some ungodly hour, finishing the work he meant to complete the night before. But who was he to judge?
Megumi felt like he was in fifth grade again, but this time there was no spelling bee, this time he was using his own phone to scroll through definitions.
Home. The place where one lives permanently, especially as a member of a family or household. Family is home. The social unit formed by a family living together. Like y’know, home is where the heart is? The house, apartment, etc. where you live, especially with your family. It’s the people you love who surround you. Someone or something’s place of origin, or the place where a person feels they belong. It’s the people you hold close in your heart. A house, apartment, or other shelter that is the usual residence of a person, family, or household. You’re my family.
He started thinking he liked Yuji’s definition best. Because if it was true, then maybe he was wrong about not having a family. He had friends, he had Geto and Mimiko and Nanako, he had Gojo. Why shouldn’t they be family?
The next day was almost too normal. Suspiciously normal. Until fifth period english.
Megumi was debating with Nobara about the symbolism of sunsets in The Outsiders and whether the teacher’s assignment notes about it made sense or not while Yuji tried to remember how to make an MLA formatted citation when Megumi received a note calling him in to the office.
"Ooooh, someone’s in trouble!" Yuji teased. Megumi flicked his forehead as he got up to leave.
"Keep an eye on him," he said to Nobara.
"Will do," she replied, giving a little salute. Yuji stuck out his tongue at them.
To say he was confused would be an understatement when Megumi reached the front office to see Geto there.
"Geto?" Megumi frowned as he approached him. His expression was tense and… nervous?
"Hey," he said with a strained smile, "sorry for pulling you out of class." He hesitated.
"What’s wrong?" Megumi didn’t like the anxious furrow in his brow and the stiffness in his shoulders.
"It’s Satoru. He’s in the hospital."