Chapter Text
HIMEKO didn’t think it was possible to hate someone she didn’t even know – but in that moment, she realized that there were a lot of things she didn’t know were possible.
One of those things included falling flat on her ass in the middle of the university campus. On her first day.
It wasn’t like it was her fault – she had been marching to class that morning, eager to get there on time, when a mop of purple hair waltzed right into her.
It had seemed to happen in slow motion. Her notebooks had catapulted out of her hands and landed haphazardly onto the stony pavement. She had lost her balance from the sudden force, the world swayed – and suddenly, she was peering up at the perfectly blue sky.
As if that wasn’t bad enough, add a steaming cup of coffee to the equation. The result would be the ruination of Himeko’s white sundress – the one she had saved specifically for her very first day of uni.
Flocks of people had walked by, their eyes trained on the catastrophic scene. A very palpable sense of embarrassment had curled into her stomach, and she had wished to dig a hole into the ground right there, crawl inside, and never come out.
The other woman involved in the collision, however, hadn’t even fallen. She had simply dusted her shirt off, looked down at Himeko’s ruined dress with a tight smile, and scampered off as if she had bumped into an inanimate object and not a real person.
Now, Himeko was spending the remnants of her morning before class rubbing the stain away in the washroom. She rested the moist handkerchief onto the counter and sighed, feeling a well of frustration bubble under her skin. A faint brown stain lingered, but there wasn’t much else plain water could do to rectify the situation.
It seemed as if she would have to resort to Plan B: her jacket. She slipped her arms into its sleeves and pulled up the zipper. It only covered half of the stain – but it would simply have to do.
Himeko’s eyes drifted up to her reflection – some of her hairpins were beginning to fall out of her hair, and her red lipstick was smudged. I look like a mess , she thought, and she watched as the lips of the woman in the mirror pulled itself into a frown, reflecting her own face.
Things weren’t going as well as she had imagined.
As she fixed her hair and makeup, her mind drifted to her mother. She lived hundreds of miles away, and she had no way of contacting her other than her shoddy cellphone. No more hugs, or kisses, or her mother's beloved pork soup.
It was her choice to move away to go to university, but in that moment, her heart ached. She could almost hear what her father would say to her, though he was long gone. Breathe, Himeko. Everything is going to be alright . She sucked in a breath, feeling the sterile air of the washroom fill her lungs.
She couldn’t let the antics of a stranger sour her mood before classes even began. Besides, it was almost impossible that she would ever lay eyes on that woman again, given the size of her university. With her mind slightly more at ease, she left the washroom and continued her pursuit of her classroom – this time paying extra attention to her surroundings.
Her first class was Psychology, a subject she was greatly interested in.
She sped walked through the halls until she spotted the metal door to her classroom. It was heavy, and the chill of the steel handle seeped through her jacket as she pushed the door open with the side of her body.
There were a lot of things Himeko hadn’t seen in her life – everything about the city reminded her of that. Still, just when she thought she couldn’t be surprised anymore, the world reminded her yet again that she was nothing more than a young soul.
Tall windows stretched along the sides of the walls, filling the inside of the classroom with refreshing sunlight. A desk and three compounded chalkboards sat on one side of the room. On the other side were rows upon rows of seats, arranged in an auditoria lecture style – akin to the ones in the movie theater that Himeko’s father used to take her to.
And the sheer size of it all – there wasn’t a word that came to mind that could accurately describe it.
Two other students whizzed past Himeko, shaking her out of her daze. The classroom was mostly packed, and if she wanted a good seat, she would have to act quickly.
She began to tread, her eyes scanning the crowd for an empty seat. She didn’t want to sit at the back, because it would be too difficult to see the chalkboard. She didn’t want to sit in the middle, because the people–
Oh, shit.
Amongst the swarm of students, Himeko’s eyes snagged upon a pair of awfully familiar magenta eyes. It was her – and she was staring right at Himeko.
It can’t be.
Yet, there she was, sitting amongst a group of students all caught up in their own worlds. The woman lifted a single hand and waved, the silver rings on her fingers glinting in the sunlight. Himeko’s heart stuttered in her chest. She forced herself to resist the magnetism of her gaze and began to walk again, towards a lone empty seat near the front – far from where the woman sat.
Her legs gave out, and she plopped onto the seat. She forced herself to breathe, trying to rationalize the pounding of her heart.
She was just a woman – a woman with whom she had started off on the wrong foot. There wasn’t anything inherently wrong about her, so she could stop getting worked up over nothing–
But it didn’t feel like nothing . The woman had looked at her like she was a poor insect to be dissected. From her stare alone, she had taken apart her limbs and looked at every inch of her skin.
Breathe, Himeko.
The metal door burst open with a bang, and Himeko flinched. In walked a man in his mid-fifties, dressed in a tweed suit and a tight, colorful tie. He held a wide stack of books under his arm, all which looked like they would fall apart with the slightest touch. A gray curl at the top of his head bounced as he walked towards the front desk, and Himeko would’ve found it funny if there wasn’t a coil of nerves in her stomach.
The man, who she assumed to be her professor, adjusted his glasses and started speaking. “Good day, everyone – I’d like to welcome you to Introduction to Psychology. My name is Dr. Li, and I’m the professor for this course…”
Dr. Li continued, his voice echoing through the speakers hung close to the ceilings. Himeko leaned into her seat, taking one last breath, before she reached into her bag and took out her notebook. Everything is going to be alright.
Yet, she could’ve sworn she felt the woman’s gaze still on the back of her head.
──⋆｡°✩✸✩°｡⋆──
The first topic they would be looking at that semester was the basis of human emotions – a complex topic, but that was to be expected. Through the conciseness of Dr. Li’s explanations, it was evident that he had been teaching for quite a while, though he oftentimes spiraled into a rabbit hole and began rambling about something nearly unrelated. Himeko jotted it all down – nothing was unimportant to her.
“Emotional experiences have three components: a subjective experience, a physiological response and a behavioral or expressive response,” Dr. Li said, his calm voice the only sound in the room, aside from the scratching of pens against paper. “ Feelings , however, arise from an emotional experience – it is caused by the person’s general awareness and interpretation of this emotion.”
Himeko glanced at her watch; it had only been thirty-five minutes since class began, and her hand was already throbbing. Still, she continued writing.
“I’m going to ask a question now. Can anyone give me an example of an emotional experience?”
Himeko’s mind was blank, so she didn’t dare volunteer to answer. A beat of silence passed, until someone finally spoke.
“Anger is a common example. Disgust as well.”
Instinctively, her head swiveled around to see who had answered. Himeko's breath hitched; the smooth, confident voice belonged to the purple-haired woman.
“Thank you for answering. Now, can I ask you to state the subjective, physiological, and behavioral elements of anger?”
The woman spoke again, and Himeko remained transfixed on her profile, her pen hovering above the page. With her gaze not fixed on Himeko, it became easier to admire her features – the long column of her neck exposed by her loose ponytail, and gloss that called attention to her lips.
But then she remembered the woman’s lack of manners and rude, unnerving stare, and any trace of appreciation for her beauty vanished.
“The subjectivity of anger lies in the fact that it can be experienced and expressed differently, by different people. The physiological elements normally remain the same: both heart rate and blood pressure increase, the body temperature rises and the skin begins to perspire.” She paused, tapping a fingernail against the screen of her tablet.
“Lastly, the behavioral elements…there are many I can list.”
Dr. Li chuckled. “That’s okay, you’ve said more than enough. May I ask your name?” He stepped back, examining a laminated sheet of paper placed on his desk.
“Kafka.”
Kafka .
Himeko’s eyes lingered on the woman who had collided with her earlier, with nothing close to an apology. Her name is Kafka . She was tempted to speak, to open her mouth and sound out the syllables of her name with her lips. But the moment passed when Kafka’s pink eyes turned away from the professor, clashing directly with Himeko’s gaze – almost as if she knew she was looking.
Himeko averted her gaze quickly – not before missing the small smile lingering on Kafka’s lips – the thrill of getting caught looking enough to send heat skittering across her skin.
The rest of the class carried the same cycle – Mr. Li asking a question, Kafka answering and Himeko jotting down every word.
Her answers varied, from extended responses to the professor’s questions to random corrections of the facts stated in his lecture. It was apparent that Kafka knew what she was about.
She’s smarter than she let on.
Yet, if given just a glimpse, Himeko could’ve guessed any day that the woman was intelligent, and perhaps even cunning. Her mind flashed back to the moment Kafka held her in place with her stare, and goosebumps skittered across her skin. She pulled her jacket around herself tighter, the cold from the air conditioning suddenly abrasive.
“Okay, we’re getting close to the end of today’s class,” Dr. Li said, bracing his hip against his desk. Behind him was a beaten up chalkboard, filled with scrappy notes and diagrams. It was a heavy class, but Himeko found the material refreshing – not including the parts where Kafka insisted on going back and forth with the professor.
The class seemed to release a silent, collective sigh of relief, and Dr. Li huffed out a laugh. “Psychology is a tough subject, but very rewarding. However, if you think that this just isn’t for you–” he pointed towards the metal door leading to the halls “-then you’re free to leave if you’d like.”
No one moved an inch, and Dr. Li continued. “This semester, you’ll be carrying out a project designed to test your ability to research and experiment. You’ll be given the liberty to choose your own topic – as long as it’s not inappropriate – and it’ll be due the last week of this semester. Just enough time to get stuff done. It'll also be worth sixty-five percent of your total grade for this semester."
Sixty-five percent?!
“One last thing: you’ll be working in pairs for this project – and I’ll be the one pairing you guys up.”
Dr. Li paused, gauging the reactions of his students. Himeko watched too, listening to the imperceptible droning of the students’ chatter. Her eyes snagged on Kafka, who sat with her arms crossed. Her lips were curled into a smile – she always seemed to be smiling – but she couldn’t tell if it was genuine.
Himeko wasn’t opposed to her partner being chosen for her. Although she didn’t know anyone in Psychology, she was willing to work with anyone – except Kafka, of course.
The thought wormed its way into her head. No, there was an incredibly small chance she would have to work with Kafka, she thought, looking around at the packed classroom.
“Alright, let’s get started. So Alex is working with James…Anne, you’re with Sophia…”
Dr. Li continued down the list, the knot of anxiety in Himeko’s stomach tangling even further. She held her breath, and her lungs began to burn. And then Dr. Li called her name.
“Himeko,” he said, and her heart started pounding inside her chest. “You’re working with Kafka.”
Himeko felt the blood drain from her face, her fingers turning icy cold. She opened her mouth to protest, but the professor had already moved on.
The sound of his voice faded into the background as her mind whirled. The unthinkable had happened once again – first, Kafka had ruined her dress, then she had landed herself in Himeko’s morning Psych class, and now, out of the two hundred students, she was her partner ? For a semester-long project?
Himeko rubbed the brown spot at the front of her dress absent-mindedly. An image of her working her ass off on their project while Kafka reclined in a cozy chair popped into her mind, and she rubbed the space between her eyebrows in frustration. No, Kafka would make her life a living hell.
“Yoohoo. Earth to Himeko.”
Himeko’s head snapped up. Most of the class had already filed out, and Dr. Li was sorting through some documents on his desk.
What really caught her attention was Kafka, who was standing so close to her that she could smell the rose scented perfume emanating from her clothes. She was waving a hand in front of her face, and Himeko resisted the urge to smack it away.
“Kafka.”
“That’s me,” the purple-haired woman smiled. “Looks like we’re partners. But I guess we don’t have to introduce ourselves, right? We already know each other.”
Himeko’s scowl deepened and she stood up from her seat, directing her attention to the books and stationery she was packing away. Even with her heels on, Kafka was still stood taller than her.
“...So, maybe we do. I’ll go first – I’m Kafka. And you’re the girl I bumped into this morning, correct?” Her tone was lazy, as if she was simply speaking about the weather. Himeko would’ve found it charming if she wasn’t fuming. She shoved another notebook into her bag.
“Yes.” Himeko zipped up her bag and faced Kafka, meeting her gaze for a brief second. Before she could say something smart, Kafka piped up again, gesturing to her dress.
“I see you had fun trying to get the stain off.”
Her eyes held a teasing glint, as if she was silently laughing at the remnants of her chaos. The fucker hadn’t even apologized…
Himeko crossed her arms, discreetly covering the stain on her dress. “Well I wasn’t the one running across the courtyard at one hundred miles per minute.”
Kafka chuckled, not at all fazed by the jab. “Next time you’ll know not to walk to class with an open cup of coffee. Got it, dear?”
Himeko bristled at the word. She silently prayed that the resentment and disgust that was bubbling in her chest at that instant was clearly visible on her face. “I can’t believe I have to work with you for the rest of the semester.”
Kafka pouted in mock sympathy. “Oh, I won’t bore you. I promise.” Behind her, Dr. Li had packed away the last of his stuff and was heading to the door. An idea popped into Himeko’s head.
She gathered her belongings into her arms and continued to speak. “Actually, you can hold back on that promise. You won’t be my partner for long.”
Kafka followed her gaze to the professor, her eyes widening as she caught onto her intent. Himeko moved to the side to walk past her, when she shadowed her steps, blocking her way.
“What are you doing?”
“I can’t let you do that. Change partners, I mean.”
Himeko felt her blood pressure steadily increasing. “And why the hell not ?”
Kafka stuck out her hands, as if she was going in for a hug. “Because that would simply be too much trouble for poor Dr. Li, right? I mean, he’s old, and he’s probably got a lot on his plate…”
Himeko didn’t hear the rest of what Kafka had to say, because she had already pushed past her. She knew she had made the right decision, she thought, as she walked towards the professor. She would probably go mad if she had to listen to Kafka’s meaningless babbling and her pointed jabs for the rest of the semester.
“Dr. Li.” The old man turned around to face her, and smiled politely. He extended his hand towards her.
“Hello…?”
“Himeko.” She replied, taking his hand in hers.
“Ah, Himeko. How can I help you?”
“The project we were assigned to…” she inhaled deeply through her nose, thinking her words through once, and then twice. “I want nothing more than to end this semester with a high grade, and I understand that a part of that grade requires working with a partner. It’s just that – I don’t believe my current partner and I have the best rapport, and this may get between the chances of both of us scoring highly.”
“And who is your partner, Himeko?” Dr. Li began to shuffle between a stack of papers in his hands.
“I.”
Himeko flinched and spun around. Kafka had been standing a foot away from her, and she stumbled back slightly to put some distance between them. Kafka caught her gaze, and smiled.
“Surprised?”
Himeko spun around to face Dr. Li again, blowing out a breath. “Don’t sneak up on me like that again. This is exactly why I don’t want to work with you.”
Kafka reached up, putting a hand against her chest. “Ouch. You know how to break a girl’s heart, don’t you?”
Dr. Li piped up, apparently oblivious to the tension between them. “I’m…sorry, Himeko. I don’t think the placements can be changed.”
Himeko’s shoulders slumped. “What? Why?”
“They were arranged by the board, meaning there’s hardly anything you could do about it.”
“Well, surely I can go to the board and speak to them?” Dr. Li shook his head, his voice dropping to a whisper.
“There’s no convincing them, trust me.” His voice dropped an octave. “They’re a pain in the ass, I’ll tell you that. Don’t go wasting your time – maybe you two can try to come to a consensus?”
“That’s right, dear. Let’s come to a consensus, shall we?” Kafka stuck her hand out towards her, and Himeko glared at it.
The thought of going to the board lingered in her mind, but she pushed it away. If Dr. Li was to be believed – and she had no reason to distrust him – then pursuing that path would lead to more conflict. And given her current situation, stirring conflict with the heads of the institution might do her more harm than good.
She looked at Kafka’s outstretched hand. Kafka seemed desperate to keep her as a partner, and her gut told her that there might be something in it for her. Perhaps she wanted to leech off of Himeko’s work, although she hadn’t done anything particularly remarkable that class to brand herself as a stellar student; rather, Kafka had done that to herself.
If they did come to a consensus, she thought, it should be relatively easy to avoid mostly interacting with her. They were in the age of the Internet after all, and not everything needed to be done face-to-face. They could split the work, and then go their separate ways. On that note, she had made her decision.
She turned to Kafka, who was watching her curiously.
“Alright then, let's talk it out. What now?”
Kafka’s eyes flicked to the clock on the wall, before meeting her gaze again. She grinned, and Himeko’s stomach flipped.
“I owe you a coffee, don’t I?”