Work Text:
In a fittingly cyclical fashion, while researching for my fic, I ended up stumbling on some pretty neat facts about the Wanderer that were evident in canon but that I've found no one talk about before. I figured I could either post it on Tumblr (bad, terrible, the rich text editor is shit and I don't have the freedom of expression and there's a low likelihood of interacting with like-minded individuals) or I could use my already-existing Ao3 account to post meta, theories, etc.
So, here we are.
Of course, some of these might be taken as circumstantial evidence or can be waved away as "that was very evidently just metaphorical." If you look below, I've provided in-game canonical evidence of some of my claims (with some extra hand-waving for the sake of theory). To the assumptions that these are just metaphorical, I say: fair.
But, if used to better analyze the Wanderer, I think this might prove beneficial in considerations and characterizations in the future.
For me, at least.
Hence, in writing this particularly exhaustive essay about the Wanderer's character, I will be working on the assumption that you, fellow fan, are caught up with the lore from Ei's second story quest right up until and past the Parade of Providence. There will be spoilers and, at times, probably fun facts seeing as some of this stuff is super deep in the game archives and draw from real life cultural aspects.
Outline
1. Wanderer's dream-hopping ability
3.0 Miscellaneous inspirations
Wanderer’s dream-hopping
There is no actual explanation for why he does this, just that he does. The Wanderer can visit his own dreaming self from the past— as noted on the Husk of Opulent Dreams (specifically Bloom Times)—
The wanderer did not know that he had any faculties for dreaming, thinking that this must have been the researchers' little trick or perhaps it was the infinitesimal resistance of that bygone heart.
"You once acquired the 'heart' that you always dreamed of, but it was but a mere prop for lies and deception. Now, you will finally obtain what belongs to you, and this false construct of a body can at last aspire to power over this world. Yet, this is all but a fleeting dream of glory. And it will all one day drift away amidst the sighs of a suffering earth..."
Was it a "him" from the past who said this? Or "him" from the future? The vagrant cared not, for when he awakened, it was not he, but that ethereal future that dissipated.
— as well as his Character Teaser:
There are certain parts of this ability that can be noted from the get-go.
One is that he's always visiting his dreaming self. There are implications to this that I will discuss further in 1.1. For now, we just have to remember that dreams, in Teyvat, are often either forgotten or is used as a medium for something significant. The former is explored extensively in Sumeru's Archon Quests (what with Sumeran citizens being unable to remember their dreams if they have them, this includes Aranara-induced dreams). The latter is often explored in relation to either the Traveler or Nahida.
The other thing to note is that the only version of the Wanderer that is implied to have done this is his Wanderer incarnation, something I explore in part 3 and further in my fic.
For now, there are two running theories:
1.0 The Wanderer has his own realm of consciousness
Whether this was left over from his godhood or a built-in function given to him by Ei was largely irrelevant to my fic and to his character moving forward but I'll try to expand on this here.
In exploring the idea of realms of consciousness, one can't not talk about Ei. She was the first person to have explored this in full within the confines of the game's narrative. Where Mondstadt had domains and Liyue had abodes, these are not comparable. While domains and abodes are abstract spaces that exist independently outside of Teyvat, they're still very much part of it.
Imagine Teyvat as an ocean where domains and abodes are ships. What happens inside these ships does not affect the ocean outside its immediate vicinity, but if some phenomenon affected the ocean, ships would be affected as well.
This is most evident with Dragonspine and The Peak of Vindagnyr. The domain itself is still affected by sheer cold despite the sheer cold mechanic being an external phenomenon.
In comparison, realms of consciousness are relative to their originators and do the inverse: significant changes inside a realm of consciousness affect the surrounding environment. Originators of these realms are often elemental beings of significant power as well (e.g. Archons like Ei and Makoto, Rukkhadevata and Nahida, and the Lord of Amrita).
The idea here, then, is that because of the Balladeer's ascension, he too would have his own realm of consciousness.
And he does! He and Nahida actually have similar realms of consciousness in that they are both surprisingly empty and void.
This is in stark comparison to Ei and Makoto's, which is empty and void as well, but at least has elements in it that make it seem like a place both of them retreat to for meditation.
This serves to reflect that the Balladeer and Nahida both were not prepared for divinity.
Notably, Nahida's realm of consciousness is empty due to her doubts– she doesn't know if having something like this was something other Archons did as well. The Balladeer, in this assumption, would know of a realm of consciousness but, his own realm seems rudimentary and more like a portable abode (akin to a Sereniteapot) that is affected partly by The Balladeer's own consciousness and the goings-on in the immediate external environment.
But, there is a very large drawback from this theory that the Wanderer is doing this from his own realm of consciousness. Apart from the obvious in that he has been deposed from his divinity, the Wanderer has no memories of these dreams.
His dreams are recorded in Irminsul, as all dreams are knowledge and all knowledge is recorded in Irminsul. If they weren't, they wouldn't be part of the Husk of Opulent Dreams set. But they are not memories he currently possesses. If he did remember these dreams, wouldn't he have a form of clairvoyance that would allow him to avoid all the tragedies that befall him?
The Husk set talks about a dream he had before meeting the boy from the mountains, and the dream he hops to in his Character Teaser is one he has before the Kabukimono becomes a Fatuus. Essentially, he can travel to his past self’s dreaming consciousness, but once he wakes up in the past, he does not remember it happening at all.
This could be because of his being a prototype puppet of the Raiden Shogun.
In theory, if you consider the Wanderer an incarnation of Raiden Makoto, who has been stated as having a distinct fascination for dreams and kairos (a rhetorical strategy that points to the opportune moment an idea should be presented in order to have the most impact), then this ability lines up. It gets further emphasized after he took Makoto's heart (it's called a heart in the original Chinese but localized to Gnosis in English) for himself after taking it from Yae Miko.
But, that's all theory.
1.1 The Wanderer did retain some of the Gnosis’ power from after he erased himself from Irminsul.
This dream-hopping thing does seem to reflect that claim, as is evidenced by the Pardis Dhyai scene.
In this scene, the Balladeer flickers into the Traveler's waking consciousness much like he does in his Character Teaser. The best way to explain this ability would be to call it astral projecting, as it seems he's just mentally projecting an avatar of himself to telepathically speak to the Traveler.
No one else apart from him and the Traveler are able to hear this telepathic conversation, which sets it apart from Ei's ability to communicate from inside her realm independent of the Raiden Shogun's malfunctioning. It also uses an established connection– this one made through touching Haypasia.
This is shown again when the Balladeer and the Traveler have that one last conversation in front of the Irminsul, he has to initiate by touch.
Nahida is able to do something similar, as was shown during the epilogue at Nilou's party. This establishes their parallels as divine beings in Sumeru. No Archon, adeptus, etc. has this ability. Nahida is able to do it without a Gnosis so, maybe this is something that only beings with a significant power are able to do.
This sets up the assumption that with enough power, the Wanderer is able to do it himself. But, the following question now would be: why to his past?
We can assume here that this power is given to him by Nahida. He's visiting his dreaming self in his dreams, is he not? It seems he's only able to do this after he erased himself from Irminsul too. Perhaps this is a form of closure Nahida is giving him in order to acclimatize to being powerless and choosing his own destiny.
The counterclaim would be that he simply just would not accept that. He hates the idea of Nahida wanting to help reform him just as much as he hates the idea of the Traveler or the Doctor doing it.
So, let's reiterate.
- Point 1: Realms of consciousness manifest for beings with a significant amount of energy or power.
- Point 2: Astral projection is innate to both Nahida and the Wanderer in spite of their lack of Gnosis.
- Point 3: The Raidens have a very special connection to time and eternity that could be innate, or due to their connection with Kairos (Known in-game as Istaroth).
The only form of elemental energy that the Wanderer currently has in excess is Anemo, from his own Vision. This is significant because Barbatos himself is able to send moments from the past to the future, given that the receiver of the moment is directly related to the originator from the past. This happens in passing during Weinlesefest, where Venti (using the sense of smell) was able to connect Razor to his parents from the past.
But, whether this event is now lore canon is... a little wonky, seeing as there are certain aspects of event lore that are a-canonical (e.g., whatever happens in the Golden Apple Archipelago stays in the Golden Apple Archipelago; characters meeting in events are not treated canon wholesale–– Collei has no voice lines about Sucrose, Wanderer has no voice lines about Mona or Fischl, Eula has no voice lines about Kokomi, etc.).
But, there's our conclusion. The Wanderer is able to connect to his past self's dreams and speak directly to them in their dreams because of his Anemo Vision.
Philosophies
Lofty ideals may provide no defense at all against nihilism, but perhaps little decisions can. By their own choice, the idealist seeks to bring happiness to all, while denying themselves the same. Thus they shall never reach even the borders of truth until they wipe away the ignorance that blinds them.
— Alhaitham, in his investigation notes on Sachin’s disappearance
No one, not even I included, can understand [truth] in its entirety. All of us are somewhere on the path toward truth.
— Nahida
This part of the meta has been posted already, but I wanted to expand on my thoughts here for further clarity (and mostly because I want to).
The Wanderer's personal beliefs and philosophies are explored often in relation to someone else's— in this case, Kaveh's. The Parade of Providence event story focused exclusively on Kaveh, but had larger implications towards the philosophical alignments of characters like Alhaitham, Nahida, and the Wanderer.
Though often I will see these philosophical alignments attributed to Western European Enlightenment, Sumeru is very deeply entrenched in the discoveries, contexts, and cultures during the Islamic Golden Age in West Asia and North Africa. It's why there are characters named after scholars from that specific era and demographic (e.g. Alhaitham being Ibn al-Haytham, Tighnari being Al-Tighnari).
This goes hand-in-hand with the religiosity of philosophy at the time.
Sumeru's current religious inspiration is based on Indian Buddhism, which was preceded by Hinduism.
Due to orientalism, Sumeru is just the amalgamation of eras within the area of the Islamic Golden Age, which spans from parts of Northern Africa to further inland of Western Asia and dropping down to Northern India. Nahida is Buddha (Kusanali is in clear reference to a story about one of Buddha's past lives wherein he met a tree-sprite), Rukkhadevata is Aranyani ("The spirit or presiding deity of the woods and mother of wild animals").
Indian Buddhism flourished from South Asia up to and past Northeastern Asia several hundred years before the Islamic Golden Age even happened. Put a pin on that. I will return to this later on.
For now, we return to the Parade of Providence event story.
Nahida ordered the Wanderer to join the Inter-Darshan Championship by joining the Vahumana darshan. She said this was to make sure that whoever inherited Sachin’s research wasn’t going to use it to harm people. She also said that this had the dual purpose helping the Wanderer acclimate to his current state as once-divine, currently-deposed misanthropic puppet.
With this framing, we need to address the central point of the event story.
2.0 Sachin's inheritance
Sachin’s essays involved experiments confirming his allegedly nihilistic views.
In them, he came to the conclusion, after seemingly having met with the Order of Skeptics and whatever his 64 experiments implied, that humanity is doomed to forever keep the suffering suffering, keeping them from ever reaching the thrones of Celestia due to their own selfishness.
The inclusion of his inheritance and the diadem in the Championship is one of Sachin’s last experiments, a challenge to see if showcasing greed and the promise of power and wealth urging humans into beating each other down would draw out a like-minded idealist who wishes to seek similar truths among the rabble.
In the one page of his essay that survived outside of Nahida locking them down, his research seems... bleak.
Once, the gods reigned supreme. All life flocked to them like sheep seeking shepherds, and those who suffered did so in silence.
Now, divine power has dwindled while human wisdom has blossomed. However, those who suffer face suffering still. ... There is a saying in Liyue that goes "Life is like lodging at an inn," and in Inazuma, "All things are but void." It hurts every time I read these words.
I tried to seek the reason for this. The wheel of time turns, and the only constant throughout Sumeru's history is human nature. Since arriving in the desert, I have conducted a total of 64 experiments over the course of 7 years. ... Men are like prisoners or captured animals, feeding on each other's happiness until one is doomed to eternal torment. Therefore, where there is gain, there must be loss. Where there is happiness, there is agony. Everyone is a victim, but everyone is also a perpetrator.
Greed and numbness reside in the heart of humanity. Driven by greed, humans choose to commit evil, and numbness is why they turn a blind eye to the evil of others. ... But if this is what the world is, what is, then, the meaning of the world? The "future" is to the "present" as the "present" is to the "past." Peace was never an option. Conflict is the eternal truth.
Everything... from my knowledge, my wisdom, to my life... is but nothingness.
And however bleak it is, this isn't just depressed edgelord posting. These statements are, in fact, philosophies in Madhyamaka, which just so happens to be the origins of Vajrayana— the version of Buddhism most common in Northeast Asian countries.
This is where the pin comes off.
Sachin's research coming from the Order of Skeptics– better known as Nagarjunites– is not coincidental. Nagarjuna (the real life historical person, not the NPC that is only ever alluded to in-game) is the origin of Madyamaka.
The Wanderer, as has been explained by theorists and lore enthusiasts (credits to Twitter user Zaura) vastly more invested in this than I am, is modeled after a shuugenja monk. Shugendō is a mix and mash of Shinto, Daoist, and Buddhist beliefs, and the fact that the Wanderer himself is a practitioner of what is technically Nahida's religion is significant to his role now as her vanguard.
The Parade of Providence's events seem to imply subtextually that the Wanderer subscribes to this nihilistic belief that Sachin found from the desert. And to a certain extent, he does.
Or rather, he did.
He truly did belief that human mortals were beyond saving and, because of that, he hated the gods and other higher beings expressing that they were so much more. He wanted, as Nahida had so aptly put it, to, "become the new moon, the answer to everything. Then, no one will know that there were once birds, foxes, and cats in this world. And no one can know that they were different."
Though, of course, there's a very distinct difference between him and Sachin.
As an entity that has co-existed with mortals and has a unique understanding of divinity, he struck the balance of seeing both sides and seeing nothing but negatives in it. When the Traveler met him (canonically, in the Inazuma Archon quest), he was very distinctly negative in his nihilism.
Eternity stretches things out over a long time. But each moment within it becomes all the more fragile. Take your friend in the resistance, for example. [...] He's a lost cause. Just like a bubble on the water. Beautiful for a moment, then total destruction. The more it takes from them, the more tightly they hold onto it.
I'll come back to this. For now, we continue.
Kaveh’s Philosophy
Nahida’s point in making the Wanderer watch out for the developments of this particular experiment means that she might have known what happened to Kaveh’s father 20 years ago. She must have wanted the Wanderer to watch what Kaveh would have done, had he accepted Sachin’s inheritance and research.
As an extension, she must have wanted him to either learn from or understand Kaveh’s own philosophies as an idealist. She wanted the Wanderer to either help Kaveh or learn from the guilt erupting from turning a blind eye, had he let Kaveh die or get hurt in that experiment.
She believes that Kaveh’s philosophy on the truth is an unpopular but very wise interpretation ("He has an almost-perfect grasp of what it truly means for Sumeru to be a Nation of Wisdom. Sadly, the truth as he understands it will never be accepted as the mainstream..."). From his own Character Story:
The selfish cannot understand wisdom's final destination. Though all of us might claim to have a place in this great hall of learning, we must understand that it is people, and not knowledge, that make our world what it is. Without a vessel, knowledge shall have no home. Universal values must naturally have some merit to be named such, and denying their general meaning does not mean that minority viewpoints will arise accordingly. This is the case with aesthetics. Beauty is something objective that exists in human hearts. It will not lose its value simply because some people cannot understand it.
To view oneself as some mighty vessel is to fall to the narrowness of the researcher. Know that truth has never existed for the sake of individuals. The logic of the world coexists with nature, and this will not easily change whether it is interpreted as such or not. Excessive belief in the object is self-disclosure just the same, a manifestation of a lack of confidence in the subject. Moreover, one who is sufficiently self-confident will not need to constantly use plural forms of address, such as 'we.' I alone am sufficient to sustain this position — this I can assert.
In this sense, Wanderer and Sachin’s beliefs that a history of conflict is a self-perpetuating cycle is one Nahida does not contest but Kaveh does. It lays in Alhaitham’s note at the beginning of this section.
Lofty ideals may provide no defense at all against nihilism, but perhaps little decisions can.
As change is the only constant in Buddhism, a butterfly effect occurs. Because the Wanderer does improve himself before even his appearance in the Championship.
Though it cannot be stated as fact, the Wanderer is not actually nihilistic anymore. His design inspirations after the Inversion of Genesis cannot be viewed as the philosophy he himself adheres to. It's why Nahida asked for him to be givne a new name, and why he so readily accepted it.
This, again, is where the pin comes off.
The first thing the Balladeer asked after he found out that his nihilistic misanthropy was misguided and founded on a lie was if he could change the past. Implying that, not only does he regret it, he no longer wants to subscribe to such beliefs.
The appearance of his current incarnation isn't because of his alleged nihilism, but because of the animistic and nature-worshipping aspects of shugendō. His beliefs after his memories were reset are not entirely altruistic (change is hard to do when your creator built you to never change), but they are not entirely nihilistic either.
Consider the Parade of Providence events again: he assisted the other contestants while not participating in the event itself. While it is true that he doesn’t want the prizes, or the diadem, while it is true that he’s under direct orders to participate, challenging Layla’s lack of self-confidence, handing Tighnari water in the desert, and making sure Kaveh doesn’t fly off-course and wins the final round means are all acts that equally amount to nothing. And yet he did so anyway.
Like little decisions as a defense against nihilism.
hope or nostalgia: the process
This is the part of the meta where I talk about my fic, hope or nostalgia. If you haven't read it, skip forward to the Conclusion part. If you have, hi, tell me what you think <3.
Now, hope or nostalgia, when I was making it, was actually formulated alongside a plot bunny I had related to Don Hertzfeldt's World of Tomorrow.
If you haven't watched it, go ahead. If you don't want to, here's the major summary.
Third incarnation clone (Emily) calls her first generation 5 year old self (Emily Prime) and gives her a tour of the future. The world is ending, and Emily is trying to upload her consciousness outside her body in order to preserve her self. As a last act, Emily needs a specific memory from Emily Prime– a memory that she herself has forgotten. This establishes a timeloop.
Just from that summary, you can immediately pick up certain aspects of the film that are applicable to this idea of exploring the Wanderer's dream-hopping and future-to-past communication, as well as his learnings moving forward.
I had a specific set of quotes from the video that I wanted to write around and would seem evident once you read the fic and watch the video. In the end, I settled on the one quote that could wrap around the entire fic without really spoiling it. Here's the list of the other quotes, though, for posterity:
- The face of a deceased loved one could be peeled off, preserved, and stretched over the head of a simple animatronic robot so they can still be a part of someone’s life.
This one's pretty obvious, when considering my theory on the Wanderer and Makoto. The implication here places more on Ei's relationship with the Wanderer than it would on the Wanderer himself.
I personally dislike the idea of tracing back most of his problems to Ei when, after enough time had passed, he didn't really care about it anymore. But it was a nice thing to consider.
- That is the thing about the present, Emily Prime. You only appreciate it when it is the past.
This was when the idea in my head was a little softer, still. In a nicer version of events, I would have made him visit more pleasant memories of the past. His time in Tatarasuna, his moments with the boy in the mountains, even nicer newer memories from the Wanderer's time before stumbling his way to Sumeru.
But like focusing on Ei, giving the Wanderer a softer development wasn't something that was appealing to me. Soft learning isn't applicable to his character.
This was where the focus on recall came though. Using kairos in his dream-hopping was just too potent with implication to not do nothing with.
- I do not have the emotional or mental capacity to deal with his loss but sometimes, I sit in a chair late at night and quietly feel very bad. When the night is at its most quiet, I can hear death. I am very proud of my sadness, because it means I am more alive. I no longer fall in love with rocks.
I just really love this quote.
This was the quote that really cemented my resolve to write this fic. Because the Wanderer's grief and loss shaping his character and his resilience up until and through his reset just seemed to be the most compelling version of events.
It frames the comedy (the original idea of comedy, not funny haha comedy) in his lives in a way that lets him grieve his losses and feel guilt over his misguided attempts at feeling better. He used to believe he needed a heart because having a heart would make him complete, it was the one thing Niwa Hisahide told him was the reason he was different to most humans. He was too blinded by this searcha nd its failures to realize that he wanted a purpose, not a heart.
- Do not lose time on daily trivialities. Do not dwell on petty detail. For all of these things melt away and drift apart within the obscure traffic of time. Live well and live broadly. You are alive and living now. Now is the envy of all of the dead.
This was a more positive interpretation of that previous one. I didn't take this route because it seemed to say "you will learn to overcome grief," in the context of the Wanderer's story. The entire purpose of the Wanderer's character is learn from that grief, not forget it. Still, it was a hopeful message that I wanted to include but not focuse solely on.
The end of the fic itself pushed forward instead of dragging the corpse of the past with him.
Miscellaneous inspiration
Hope or Nostalgia, the track from which I took this fic title from, plays around the Dainichi Mikoshi (Whitenight) in Enkanomiya. In Chinese, it's named 祈望与乡魂, which literally means 'Hope and Soul.' A rather lengthy leap from the EN title.
The Dainici Mikoshi was the hope and soul of the people of Byakuyakoku before its legacy was desecrated by men in high power, turned into a symbol of either hatred or cold indifference that used children to fuel their greed.
If that sounds familiar in either end for the Wanderer or Nahida, that's because. Well, it more or less does describe them.
The choice to use this track as a title was because my friend Alina thought the title felt very apt for the fic. So, everyone say thanks.
Dreams by Fleetwood Mac is very obviously the internal conflict of hope or nostalgia, particularly between the Wanderer and Nahida as the events unfolded.
I like to think that when they have disagreements that actually hurt each other, they really end up feeling very very bad about it in different directions. The Wanderer wants to keep her angry and upset as self-flagellation. He thinks he deserves it. Nahida half-wants an apology because she usually deserves it and half-wants to make up immediately.
I'll explore Nahida's loneliness in a future fic, probably, but needless to say, the Wanderer is quite literally one of the only people she ever gets to have some semblance of actual earned authority over. The rest of Sumeru treats her like the Archon she is because she inherited that position. She feels she doesn't deserve that because she hasn't earned it. But with the Wanderer, she has earned his trust and respect. And when they come to emotional blows, she takes it a little personally.
Enough rambling though. Future fic. Probably.
One last thing I took a lot of inspiration from. I found this poem in someone's web-weavings, once. Reading it made me think of Collei, Nahida, and the Wanderer, so I put this down as well.
I said: "The wonder that I feel is easy,
Yet ease is cause of wonder. Therefore speak:
I may not comprehend, may not remember."
And he: "I am not eager to rehearse
My thoughts and theory which you have forgotten.
These things have served their purpose: let them be.
So with your own, and pray they be forgiven
By others, as I pray you to forgive
Both bad and good.
Last season's fruit is eaten
And the fullfed beast shall kick the empty pail.
For last year's words belong to last year's language
And next year's words await another voice.— T. S. Eliot’s Little Gidding, Four Quartets, 1943
Conclusion
In analyzing his philosophies and powers, it does seem to suggest that the Wanderer should sooner be considered a more positive nihilist. In the sense that, if you've watched Everything Everywhere All at Once, would put him on the side of the googly eye rather than the bagel. Nothing matters but why waste your time feeling shitty about existing? Why step down on people who don't view the world the same way you do?
As the Balladeer himself said,
[If] a colony of harmless ants isn't threatening anyone, I guess they deserve to be left alone.
In reaching the end of this, I've found that in exploring the Wanderer's character, there really is so much between him and Nahida that I've yet to see people either explore or analyze outside of his recovery and their paralleled pasts. Who are they, as people? How do their pasts affect their presents? If there was more out there exploring them in the now, I think we would benefit with better readings.
Maybe I'm not looking deep enough.
Because most of his significant bonds come from roles of authority, and his bonds with them are complex and puts into perspective a lot of his own philosophies on the truth.
Perhaps in analyzing these bonds, I've helped people understand his character better.
So, with that said. I hope you enjoyed reading this, if you made it this far. Tell me what you think!