Work Text:
TAKE CARE
Seeing the look of utter dejection on Reid’s face, you immediately felt guilty. You winced internally before reaching out to place a gentle hand on the doctor’s shoulder. “Spencer, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to snap.”
The hazel eyed agent looked up at you and nodded with a small smile. “It’s okay, Y/N. I do tend to ramble, people sometimes get annoyed. You’re not the first.”
Your heart broke just a little more at Spencer’s words. “I love how knowledgeable you are, okay? Never stop sharing your thoughts and ideas. I didn’t snap because of you.” You hesitated. “I’m just not feeling great and I think I overreacted, okay? I promise it’s nothing to do with you.”
Spencer nodded before smiling a little more widely, happy that it wasn’t him who had upset you. “Alright. You said you weren’t feeling well, is there anything I can do?”
You shook your head with a small smile, regretting it slightly as your head began to pound. “Nope, all I need is a good night’s sleep and I’ll be fine.” You squeezed Reid’s shoulder again. “I really am sorry, Spence.”
Spencer nodded. “It’s okay.”
At the edge of the bullpen, observing the two in front of him with a frown, Hotch exhaled softly. His brow was furrowed with confusion and concern after witnessing you snap at Reid. Out of the rest of the team, you were one of the most patient with the young agent when the words buzzing around in his head burst out like water out of a dam.
He wouldn’t admit it but he enjoyed the smile that stayed on Reid’s face, long after he finished spouting his facts and statistics. So for you to cut him off so quickly and so directly, something had to be wrong. He observed you quietly, picking up on tell tale signs that could inform him of what was wrong.
You moved gingerly as you passed Reid to get to your seat. You winced as the overhead lights shone more intensely on your side of the desk. You passed up the coffee that JJ offered you when she returned with everyone’s order. Hotch sighed again, his head tilted to the side as he kept his eyes on you.
“Everything okay?” rumbled Rossi’s voice as he fell in line next to Hotch. The Italian bit back a smirk of amusement as Hotch cleared his throat while taking his eyes off of you. He was no stranger to the look of longing and more often than not, he’d caught the Unit Chief with his eyes on you way longer than they should have been. However, in fairness to Hotch, he’d seen you return the sentiment. He shook his head to himself with a knowing half smile, if only you would both look at each other at the same time.
“Everything’s fine.”
“Well, it’s getting late,” said Rossi, checking his watch to see that it was 23:05, “I think we can call it an evening, don’t you?”
Hotch nodded before looking at Rossi pointedly. “Don’t do that.” he muttered before moving to the desks that had been set up for his team.
“Do what?” asked Rossi, his hands in his pockets as he sauntered after the dark haired man, a smile on his face. He knew exactly what Hotch was talking about.
“Alright, let’s call it a night.” said Hotch, leaning over Reid and turning off his lamp to emphasise his point.
Morgan, Emily and JJ shared a smile as Reid seemed to jump at the sudden lack of focused light. He looked up at Hotch, confused. “We’re done?”
“For the evening, yes.” said Hotch, reaching over your shoulder to turn your lamp off too.
You froze, Hotch’s cologne gently wafting over your senses. For a second, you could almost forget the nausea and the headache you had.
“Let’s go. Come on.” Hotch jerked his head towards the door of the police department they were in.
Not needing to be told twice, the agents grabbed their jackets and belongings and followed Hotch out of the building. Morgan, Emily, Reid and JJ got into the first SUV, while you jumped in with Rossi and Hotch.
Fortunately, the motel you were staying at was only a fifteen minute drive away, but once you got into the back of the car, a pain sliced through you, like a lightning bolt. You gasped before closing your eyes and gritting your teeth. Remembering who you were with, you sat up straight and chanced a look at the rear view mirror. You froze, Hotch’s almost obsidian eyes boring into yours as he waited for Rossi to get into the car.
“You alright?” he asked softly.
“Yeah, perfectly fine.” You gave the driver a smile before looking out of the window.
Hotch exhaled softly. He could see the smile didn’t reach your eyes and he could tell you weren’t being honest with him. If he looked closely – and he did – he could see traces of pain in your eyes. He looked ahead, tapping his fingers on the wheel, his patience with Rossi starting to wane, but it gave him time to think.
Hotch avoided being close to you as often as he could help it. Since you joined the team six months ago, he had grown increasingly fond of you. He enjoyed the way you interacted with the team. How your confidence had grown. How you verbally sparred with Morgan, chuckling whenever you put the other agent in his place. You gelled incredibly with the women of the team, you had endless patience for Spencer and even Rossi had an almost fatherly bond with you.
You radiated sunshine and love. And Hotch adored that about you. He adored it more when he realised that that care and love and attention was directed towards him, too. As the boss of the team, he was used to being left out of the group chats and the inside jokes that flew around the office, he was the boss, it kind of made sense, but you would go out of your way to include him. You’d check in on him after cases, bring him coffee when he didn’t even realise himself how badly he needed it and you occasionally helped him out with paperwork, allowing him to get home to Jack earlier than he was used to.
You took care of him as much of the others and it made his heart swell with adoration for you. So, it wasn’t a complete surprise when he figured out that he had developed feelings for you. Feelings he hadn’t felt in a long time and feelings that he had never felt so deeply. Of course, Rossi was quick to catch on to this development, teasing him and occasionally encouraging him to do something about it. However, as much as he would have loved for something to happen between the two of you, it just couldn’t. He was your boss, he was considerably older and he had enough baggage for five lifetimes, not to mention the potential damage to your career.
No, Hotch had decided to admire from afar, but even then that did nothing to quell the growing fire burning inside of him.
“Ready, Hotch?” asked Rossi.
Hotch inwardly jumped as he gave Rossi an annoyed look.
Rossi merely smirked in reply as he buckled himself in. The man had been so deep in thought that he hadn’t heard him get into the car.
Hotch peeled out of the parking lot and after a short drive, you had all arrived at the motel you were staying at for the night.
Rossi exited the car with his go bag before Hotch had even put the SUV into neutral, prompting narrowed eyes from the Unit Chief. Shaking his head, he exited the car and
gathered his things, falling into step with you as you ambled to the reception area.
Hotch moved past you to get the keys from the receptionist while you stood in the doorway that would take you down the corridor to your room. You leant heavily on the wall and let out a shaky breath, the pain in your abdomen getting stronger. You willed the ache to go away and raised a tired eyebrow at Hotch as he walked over to you, that familiar frown on his face.
“Everything okay?” you asked quietly.
“There’s only one room left, Rossi took the last one.” he said shortly. Hotch wasn’t a firm believer in coincidences, if anything, he was sure the Italian was partially responsible for the lack of rooms.
A flash of hurt appeared on your face at Hotch’s tone before you schooled your features. “Oh,” you mumbled quietly, “I can knock on JJ’s, Emily’s or Spencer’s door if you’re not happy sharing.”
Hotch’s features softened as he registered the hurt in your voice. “I’m happy to share, Y/N.”
You nodded, blinking heavily. “If you’re sure.”
“I’m positive.” said Hotch, a rare smile appearing on his face doing wonders to ease your mind. “Come on, we need to sleep.”
You trundled along the corridor and found your room. Hotch pressed the key into the lock and opened the door, allowing you to go in first.
Your eyes took in the simple decór but that was not what made you freeze. A queen sized bed, freshly made with white cotton sheets made you bit your lip in apprehension. “One bed.” You called softly over your shoulder.
Hotch closed the door and padded over to stand behind you, taking in the room for himself. He felt his face flush at the thought of sharing a bed with you. “Right, I can take the flo-”
“Don’t be silly, Hotch.” You muttered, moving around the bed to the side closest to the window. You dropped your bag on the bed. “The bed is huge and we’re both adults. I don’t mind if you don’t.” You internally smiled at yourself at hearing your voice come out strong and unaffected and not at all showcasing the nerves you felt at sharing a bed with the man in front of you.
“If you’re sure.” replied Hotch, putting his phone on the bedside table before mirroring your actions and putting his go bag on the bed.
“I’m sure.” you affirmed, rummaging through your bag to pull out your pajamas and your toiletries. “Do you mind if I use the bathroom first?”
“Go ahead.” said Hotch, undoing his tie and pulling it out from his collar.
You flashed a small smile before disappearing into the on-suite. Brushing your teeth, washing your face and hands, and putting on your pajamas in record time, you stepped out into the main room in time to see Hotch pulling a t-shirt over his head. You stopped, momentarily stunned, as your keen eyes absorbed his toned figure.
You shook you head clear of the impure thoughts that had made a home and winced as your head throbbed. With a small gasp, you sat on your side of the bed and cradled your head in your hands.
“Y/N, are you okay?” sounded a gentle voice laced with concern.
“Just a headache, probably from all the caffeine I consumed today.” You stood up and pulled the covers back to slide into bed. “I just need to sleep it off.”
Hotch nodded, remaining silent. He watched as you settled on your side, your back to Hotch’s side of the bed and you let out a long sigh. He disappeared into the bathroom and by the time he returned after finishing getting ready for bed and completing his own night time routines, your breathing had evened out and you were sound asleep.
Hotch hesitated, contemplating whether or not he should work for an hour or two, but ultimately his own tiredness won. He slid into his own side of the bed and before settling down, he pulled the covers up over you. Once he was happy you were comfortable, he flicked off the lights from the switches by his bedside and settled down for the night.
He closed his eyes and drifted off to the sounds of your breathing and from the extra warmth sharing a bed with somebody gave.
He couldn’t remember the last time he fell asleep so quickly.
He also couldn’t remember the last time he woke up so quickly.
He sat up in bed, rubbing his eyes and trying to gain his bearings when he heard you heave into the toilet bowl. Flicking the lights on, he pulled his covers back and made his way to the bathroom.
He pushed the door open slightly to see you shivering as you vomited what little you had eaten that day. Heart aching for you, he stepped in and pulled your long hair away from your face.
“I’m fine.” sounded your wobbly voice, echoing off of the porcelain in front of you.
“I’m not sure we have the same definition of ‘fine’, Y/N.” he muttered, his sleep-filled voice deep and a touch huskier than usual. He moved around you and filled a glass with water, ready for when your head resurfaced.
Hotch handed you tissue to wipe your face and reached over you to flush the toilet. He took in your appearance, alarms ringing in his head. You were clammy and shivering, of course, being hunched over a toilet whilst sitting on a cold floor wouldn’t help, but Hotch couldn’t help but worry. He pressed a hand to your head and frowned as it felt normal, save for the beads of sweat that had appeared while you were being sick.
“I’m sorry for waking you.” You whispered as you pushed yourself up off the floor. “Really, I’m okay.” You gingerly made your way back to bed when you froze as you reached your side.
Hotch sensed you tensing up and he exited the bathroom, and he frowned when he saw a flush appear on your cheeks and tears gathering in your eyes. He reached out to you, but you moved out of his reach, eyes not leaving the bed.
“Y/N, what-” Hotch followed your line of sight and it was like a lightbulb went off in his head. All of your symptoms; the mood swings, the pain, the headaches and the vomiting suddenly made perfect sense. He reached out to you again as a sob threatened to burst out from you. “Y/N, it’s alright.”
You shook your head, tears streaming down your face. “I’m so sorry, Hotch.” You had never wanted the ground to swallow you up as much as you did right now. Not due for another week, your cycle had hit you unexpectedly and while you were sharing a bed with Hotch nonetheless. Crimson stained the pristine white sheets and all you could do was cry, in shame, in embarrassment. There was no way you could look Hotch, your boss, your crush in the eye again. “I’m so sorry.” The dam burst and you let out a soft sob.
Shaking his head, Hotch pulled you into his arms, one hand wrapped around your waist and the other buried in your hair, pressing your face to his broad chest. He held you while you cried, rubbing soothing circles on your back. “It’s okay.”
“No, it’s not.” You bit back through thick tears, your voice hoarse.
Having been married for a significant amount of time, Hotch had been privy to the emotion behind Haley’s cycles. While Haley didn’t suffer with periods as much as others did, he’d done his best to make sure she was looked after and comfortable. It wasn’t until Haley had mentioned a girlfriend that had a horrific time of it every month that he had learnt more. He had never been so in awe of what the female body was capable of and what it went through, and he had never been so disgusted at how some men treated women because of it. The fact that Y/N was apologising the way she was, for something that she had such little control over, made him angry. “Y/N, look at me.”
Through teary eyes, you looked up. “I’m sorry.” You said again, fear and shame coursing through your veins making you tremble.
“There’s nothing to be sorry for.” Hotch whispered, tucking a lock of hair behind your ear. “It’s okay.”
“But-”
Without even considering the implications, Hotch pressed a kiss to your forehead. “It’s alright.” He felt your trembling lessen. “Do you have what you need?”
The flush on your face deepened. “No, I wasn’t due for another week. My periods are like clockwork, Hotch, I don’t-”
“Okay, that’s okay. Here’s what we’re going to do; I’m going to run you a bath and while you’re in there, I’ll sort everything out.”
Your eyes widened and you moved to get out of Hotch’s embrace. “I can’t ask you to do that. It’s my mess, I’ll clean it up.” You said, shaking your head. Your eyes landed on the sheets and you wrapped your arms around yourself.
Hotch moved so he was blocking the bed from your line of sight. He tucked a finger under your chin. “You’re not asking me to do anything, Y/N.” He put both of his hands on your shoulders. “Let me take care of you.”
Your bottom lip wobbled and new tears sprung to your eyes. Hotch’s reaction was not something you were expecting. Past boyfriends made their feelings very clear when it came to your time of the month, from frustrated sighs when you asked them to grab a box of tampons from the store to nasty insults when you declined sex or when you very rarely leaked through. The lack of anger and annoyance had thrown you. “You’re not mad?”
Hotch’s eyes flickered darkly for a moment before he schooled himself. “How can I be mad over something you can’t control? Stuff like that happens, I don’t care about the bed or the sheets, I care about you and how you’re feeling.” said Hotch gently. He reached forward and brushed a tear away. “Will you let me look after you?”
You sniffed miserably before nodding silently.
“Good.” said Hotch softly. He pressed another kiss to your forehead before moving into the bathroom.
You heard the taps running and let out a wobbly sigh. You stepped in when he called your name and tears sprung to your eyes again when you saw that Hotch had drawn you a bubble bath. He pulled a towel off of the rack and left it close to you.
“Relax, okay?” He ordered gently.
You nodded and whispered a small ‘thank you’ before Hotch left the bathroom, closing the door behind him.
Once the door was closed, he set to work, stripping the bed. He balled the sheets up and left them on the floor for a moment as he grabbed a jacket to put over his t-shirt and sweatpants. Grabbing the key card and the sheets, he left the room silently, the door clicking softly shut behind him.
He approached the reception and smiled at the receptionist who eyed him and the sheets with a raised eyebrow. After quickly explaining the situation, the receptionist gave him a warm and genuine smile and promised to have a new sheet ready for him when he returned, waving away his offer to pay for the sheets.
Hotch left the motel and got into the SUV, remembering there was a small 24 hour store on the way into the town, he drove there.
He grabbed a basket on the way in, ignoring the looks he was getting for wearing sweatpants with his shiny work shoes and perused the aisles for what he needed. He did well until he got to the aisle he needed. He stopped at the head of the aisle and let out a long sigh. There were shelves upon shelves of sanitary towels and tampons. He gave a confused frown at the cups on display, his imagination running away with how they were meant to be used. He ran a hand through his dark hair, smiling sheepishly when he saw a woman looking at him with a bemused expression.
“Would you like some help?” The woman offered, taking in his micro expressions.
“Yeah, please.” said Hotch quickly.
“What does your girlfriend prefer?” The woman asked, falling into step next to the Unit Chief.
Hotch felt a warm feeling spread through him at the woman’s assumption that you were his girlfriend. He should have corrected the woman, but he decided to play along. That was something he would keep to himself for himself. “I’m honestly not sure, I didn’t think to ask.”
The woman nodded. “Quite a personal question but how heavy is she?”
Hotch looked at the woman, a light blush on his cheeks and a perplexed expression on his face, prompting her to chuckle again.
“Okay, if you’re not sure, get one of these,” The woman reached out to grab a packet of sanitary pads, “and one of these,” She reached up to another shelf to grab a box of tampons, “that way, you can’t go wrong.” She said kindly as she put them in Hotch’s basket.
“Thank you.” said Hotch sincerely.
The woman nodded as she peered in his basket. “You’ve got chocolate and painkillers too. You definitely know what you’re doing, your girlfriend is very lucky.”
Hotch gave her a bashful smile, thanked her again for her help and after picking up a decent stain remover for your pajamas, he made his way to the checkout. Hotch paid for the items and before he knew it, he was walking back into the motel’s reception.
The receptionist waved him over and passed him the new sheets. “I hope you don’t mind, but I’ve made a note for the morning staff to send breakfast to your room. Would 0800 be okay? I think she may need a duvet day if she’s not feeling well.”
Having planned on requesting you to take a day, Hotch nodded. “Thank you, that’s great.”
He turned and made his way back to the room. He eyed the digital clock on the side, blinking heavily when it read 03:21. He quickly made the bed and moved towards the bathroom door. He knocked gently on the door and entered when you said a soft ‘come in’.
He smiled at you, taking in your appearance. The hot water had done wonders for the pain, having taken the edge off, your frown lines had disappeared and your eyes seemed brighter.
Hotch made a point of keeping his eyes on yours, having noted earlier that the bubbles he had supplied you with did not have as much volume as they did earlier.
A light flush had settled on your cheeks as you realised Hotch could probably see more flesh than he was probably comfortable with. You subtly drew your knees up and moved your arm to cover your chest further. “Sorry, but you did tell me to relax.” You retorted.
Hotch smiled at you. “That I did. How are you feeling?”
“Better for now, but I know once I get out of the heat the cramps will come back. What’s that?” You asked, eyeing the bag Hotch was holding.
Hotch cleared his throat. “I wasn’t sure what you preferred, so I’ll leave this here for you.” He said, gently depositing the bag onto the closed toilet lid. “Do you mind if I go through your bag to get out some more pajamas?”
“Oh,” You frowned, “I, uh, I don’t have any more.” You pinched the bridge of your nose in frustration, eyes scrunched.
“Hey,” Hotch reached out and placed a hand on your knee, prompting you to look up. “I’m sure I’ve got something you can wear, don’t worry. Did you need me to get anything else for you?”
The flush on your cheeks darkened. “A pair of underwear,” Your eyes widened and you hastily added, “but if that’s too much you can just bring the bag in here.”
Hotch shook his head. “It’s fine, I’ll grab the other bits too, hang on.”
He disappeared and returned a moment later with the promised shirt, a pair of sweatpants and your underwear. “I’ll be out here if you need me.” At that, he closed the door, leaving you in the bathroom.
You let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding and not for the first time that night, your cheeks burned with embarrassment. You eyed the underwear Hotch had left out for you and even though it probably shouldn’t, it gave you a little thrill that you would be wearing underwear that Hotch had touched. You shook yourself and cleared your throat, how you were meant to face that man in the morning was a mystery to you.
Having said that, he had dealt with everything that happened with grace. You got out of the bath and pulled the plug to drain the water. Getting yourself sorted and dressed, you contemplated Hotch’s behaviour. He hadn’t complained or got upset, he had comforted you and it was the comfort, patience and kindness that got you. For a second, it felt like Hotch was comforting you like he would a lover, not a work partner. The kiss he pressed to your forehead was just enough to make the pain disappear for a little while. The way he held you as you cried was enough to feel the world melt away for just a moment.
You sniffed, frowning as you felt hot tears spring to your eyes. He had gone out of his way to get you what you needed and he didn’t make you feel like you were a burden. That touched you, deeply.
Unable to stop the tears from flowing, you remained in the bathroom, perched on the toilet as you cried. It wasn’t until you heard a knock that you looked up.
Hotch opened the door and frowned when he saw you crying again. “Y/N, what’s wrong?”
You shook your head. “You’re just so kind. You didn’t need to do all of this.” You wiped your eyes and looked up at him. “Why did you take care of me like that?”
“Oh, honey.” He came into the bathroom and crouched on the floor in front of you. “Why wouldn’t I?”
“You’re my boss? This is a bit above your job description, no?” You said with a small voice.
“I want to care for you, Y/N. I don’t like seeing you upset.” He rest a hand on your knee. “You care for me all the time, maybe it’s time you let someone do the same for you.”
“Someone like you?” Your watery eyes searching his serious ones.
Hotch looked into your eyes, his stomach twisting in knots. “Yes, if you’ll let me.” He reached up to tuck a wet curl behind your ear. “Do you have any idea how one smile of yours makes my day?”
“Hotch…”
“Aaron’s fine.” He smiled, eyes twinkling as you smiled at him.
“Even after all this?” You gestured to yourself and the space around you.
He took your hand and pressed a kiss to your knuckles. “Especially after all this. I’m happy you trusted me to help you.”
You nodded, reveling in the feeling of his lips on your skin. “I think I’d like that.” You whispered. “I’ve had feelings for you, for a while now.”
“Well then, what are we waiting for?” He asked, pressing a kiss to your forehead as he moved to stand upright. Your hand still in his, he took the bag from you and pulled you to the main room.
Your eyes watered again when you saw that he had remade the bed and that there was a bar of your favourite chocolate left on your nightstand.
You watched as he dug through the bag and pulled out the painkillers. Opening the bottle, he shook it and offered you the two tablets that fell out. You took them gratefully and swallowed them with water from a glass he offered you.
He pulled the covers on your side of the bed back and helped you get into bed before disappearing back into the bathroom. You were confused until you smelt cleaning products and heard water running, you cringed at the thought of Hotch touching your stained pajamas, but that feeling left when he returned, a warm smile on his face.
He got into bed and turned the lights out. You smiled as he reached over and pulled you all but onto his chest, his natural body heat and the painkillers doing wonders at chasing the pain away.
You let out a long and content sigh, smiling as he pressed a kiss to the top of your head as he wrapped his arms around you.
“I want you to take tomorrow off.” He said, his voice rumbling in his chest, sending vibrations through you.
You froze. “But, the case-”
“The team will be fine without us for a day.” said Hotch, rubbing a soothing circle on your back.
“Us?”
“Yeah,” Hotch pressed another kiss to your hair, “Someone has to take care of you, Sweetheart.” The Unit Chief pressed a smile to your hair as he felt you melt against him at the use of the endearment.
“Well,” You said, through a yawn, wiggling further into him, “I’m glad it’s you.”