Work Text:
Dan Heng was sitting at his desk, working on the archive, as he did in every minute of free time he got. The other trailblazers had told him many times that he should find something else to do- something to relax, a 'genuine' hobby, as March had put it. Of course, the only exception so far had been Welt, who had encouraged Dan Heng to work on the archive and seemed to have a genuine interest in his work. But Dan Heng supposed that was to be expected.
To be fair, there was one other person who had never questioned him about how he liked to spend his free time: Caelus.
Caelus had been fascinated by the archive and seemed genuinely interested in how it worked and what kind of information Dan Heng kept.
They had spent countless hours talking about it, Dan Heng had invited Caelus to his room to show him his work so often that Caelus didn't even knock anymore.
He was just there a few times a day, coming in unannounced, only to sit with Dan Heng. Sometimes he watched him work, sometimes he busied himself with other things- occasionally reading a book, but most often he was preoccupied with his phone.
Caelus had become a silent presence in Dan Hengs room, suddenly appearing from time to time, unpredictable in a way that should have driven Dang Heng mad. With anyone else, it probably would have.
But it wasn't anyone else, and as much as Dan Heng didn't want to admit it out loud, he really did not mind Caelus being around. He rather enjoyed his company.
Perhaps he had just grown used to it.
Dan Heng had noticed a few things about how Caelus would act when he came to visit him.
The most obvious was that Caelus very rarely talked to Dan Heng when he dropped in. He had tried making conversation in the beginning, but that had died down very quickly. Nowadays, he didn't even greet Dan Heng verbally when he showed up to his room.
Instead, he would softly touch Dan Hengs shoulder, barely even a fleeting touch to let him know that he wasn't alone in the room anymore. After that, he would stay close by, but never close enough to be in Dan Hengs personal space.
That's another observation Dan Heng had made: he had grown far more comfortable around Caelus than he had expected. He considered his personal space very different around him than he did around anyone else.
Caelus had been very careful not to disturb Dang Heng at first, but over time they had both gotten more familiar with eachother. Dan Heng was always the first to settle down a little closer while he worked.
He was grateful for that. That Caelus had the patience to let Dan Heng gradually get used to having another person around.
By now, Dan Heng was very comfortable to have Caelus closer around him. More often than not, Caelus would sit down right next to him, shoulders touching.
Dan Heng had made one last observation about Caelus: lately, he had come to Dan Hengs room to... relax.
It had started a few weeks ago, when Caelus had came into his room in the late afternoon. He had come in as usual, gently touched Dan Hengs shoulder and then sat down next to him- so far, nothing out of the ordinary.
Then, Caelus had groaned quietly, followed by a yawn. He had looked at Dan Heng from the side, a calculating look in his eyes. After a few seconds, he had broken their comfortable silence. "Do you mind if I take a nap here?"
Dan Heng had been startled, not expecting Caelus to speak. After all, they usually just sat in silence, simply enjoying the others presence.
After gathering his thoughts, Dan Heng had simply shrugged. "I don't mind. If you're tired, you should rest." After a second, he added: "...However I believe your bed might be more comfortable."
Caelus had made a disapproving noise, close to a hum, and shut his eyes. It had taken less than a minute for him to fall asleep.
A few days later, he done the same thing again. He had asked if he could take a nap while Dan Heng worked. Like the last time, Dan Heng had shrugged and hadn't paid him much mind.
However, that time, Caelus had leaned against him in his sleep, his head resting against Dan Hengs shoulder.
Dan Heng had tensed up, but he hadn't moved Caelus, hadn't woken him up or asked him not to do that again after he woke up. He had simply sat there, at his desk, working away and letting Caelus sleep.
The next time Caelus had asked if he could take a nap, Dan Heng had rolled his eyes. "You don't need to ask, Caelus. It's fine." Caelus had smiled softly at him and this time, Dan Heng had expected it when he leaned against him again, letting his head rest on his shoulder.
Only this time, Caelus had slept longer and him resting against Dan Hengs shoulder had begun to be bothersome after a while.
For some reason, Dan Heng didn't want to wake him up. So, he gently moved him instead, so Caelus' head would lay in his lap.
When Caelus had woken up, he had been embarrassed- he had blushed and stuttered, sitting up quickly after realising he was laying in Dan Hengs lap. He had apologized profusely.
Dan Heng had smiled at him softly and chuckled. "I moved you myself, so don't apologise. It must have been uncomfortable for your neck to lean against me like that, isn't this much nicer?"
Caelus had stared at him with wide eyes. "Do you really not mind? Can I... Do that more often then?" Dan Heng had nodded. "Sure. It's actually quite nice- you're quite pretty when you sleep."
Caelus had blushed even more at that and he had left shortly after.
So all in all, Dan Heng should have expected this. He had agreed to this and really, it was fine with him.
Yet, he still hadn't been prepared for today.
He had been working as usual, when he had felt the familiar brush of a hand on his shoulder. Caelus had kept quiet this time. He sat down next to Dan Heng as he always did. He yawned softly, before moving to lay in his lap- exactly like they had agreed he was allowed to do.
And it was fine. Really, it was.
But Dan Heng still hadn't been prepared for it. Caelus had done it so casually, so naturally, like the two of them had always done this. Dan Heng hadn't even properly realized what he had been doing- he usually didn't pay much attention to Caelus when he came over. Usually, they would both be busy with something, so there was no need to see what he was doing.
He had been halfway through organising some new data, when he'd noticed.
Caelus was laying in his lap, fast asleep, with a relaxed expression on his face. And Dan Heng had his hand buried in his hair, absentmindedly playing with it as he worked.
And he hadn't even realized.
Dan Heng stared at his own hand. He could feel his brain slowly catching up. Then, almost sudden, he was hit with the realisation of how domestic this situation was.
He felt heat rise to his face, felt his heart rate quicken, felt his hand start to tremble.
He hadn't realized how much he liked having Caelus around- just his company, his presence. It was nice, so much more than simply nice, to have him around. Dan Heng swallowed as he took in Caelus'sleeping form.
He was cute.
That was the first thing Dan Heng thought. Caelus was adorable, pretty even. His hair was soft and shiny, perfect to run his fingers through. He had never really payed attention to Caelus' face, but now that he did, he had to admit that Caelus was handsome.
It only served to make his heart beat even faster. By this point, Dan Heng felt almost dizzy. He kept looking at Caelus, watching him sleep, unable to concentrate on his work again. His thoughts were jumbled for the rest of the day.
It wasn't until a few months later that Dan Heng truly realised just how used he was to Caelus keeping him company.
Caelus was out on some mission or another- something about Herta asking for him yet again. He had been gone for two days now and Dan Heng was, simply put, a mess.
He could not concentrate on anything. He had tried working on the archive- to no avail. He had tried to read a book, but the sentences kept loosing their meaning, as if the words were dancing across the page, refusing to string together in a way that made sense. He had even tried to seek out other people, but that hadn't worked either.
March was talking so loud it made his head spin. She was brimming with energy and while Dan Heng could appreciate that when they were on a mission, he just wanted some quiet company right now- and this wasn't it.
Himeko had been happy to spend time with him, but she kept asking him questions and Dan Heng was not in the mood to talk much. He just wanted to not be alone, he just wanted to able to relax.
Welt had been the best at keeping him company, as expected. He had explained to him that he wasn't in the mood to talk and how he couldn't concentrate at all today. Welt had smiled gently and offered to tell Dan Heng about some research he was doing to get his mind to relax- all he'd have to do was listen.
It had worked surprisingly well. Welts research was fascinating as always and Dan Heng genuinely enjoyed listening to him.
But it wasn't the same.
So, Dan Heng had reluctantly gone back to his room. He had been sitting at his desk for a while now, just staring into nothingness.
He hated this.
Something about Caelus not being here made him uneasy, made him nervous in a way that made it impossible to think about anything but the fact that he wasn't there.
Dan Heng missed Caelus.
That was new for him. He had never missed someone before- not like this, not with these kind of consequences. It was annoying.
Caelus had become a part of his routine, a part of his day, his life, even his work. It was strange and new and plain wrong to not have him here.
Dan Heng felt miserable. He couldn't quite explain why, but he did. There was a strange feeling in his gut, burning like fire. He felt angry- at what, he wasn't sure. At the same time he felt sad. It was a strange combination, one he wasn't used to, one he didn't know how to deal with.
The closest he could come to describing this feeling was jealousy- but that wouldn't make any sort of sense. Who would he even be jealous of?
Certainly not of Caelus. Dan Heng did not envy him getting so many mundane missions at all. He was always busy with something, wasn't he? Lately it seemed like Caelus could barely find a moment for himself- and even when he did, he usually chose to spend that precious time with Dan Heng. It sounded exhausting.
No, he was sure that he wasn't jealous of Caelus at all.
But what else could it be? Who else could he possibly feel this jealousy for?
Definitely not Herta either. If Dan Heng was honest, he didn't like her very much- certainly didn't trust her. She was... Odd. Don't get him wrong, he did not harbor any dislike towards her either, obviously. He didn't have a reason to, after all.
There were other people who kept Caelus busy, people Dan Heng didn't know all that well. Staff of the space station, for example- he only knew the names of a few of them, but Caelus seemed something like a celebrity around there. Everyone knew him and he knew a lot of the people there, too.
For some reason, this uncertainty made Dan Hengs blood boil. The idea, the mere thought, that Caelus could be running around right now, doing some meaningless, mundane task for a person Dan Heng didn't know out of sheer kindness-
Dan Heng closed his eyes tight and groaned. What a terrible thought that was.
Was that it then? Was he jealous of other people spending time with Caelus, keeping him occupied and busy all the time, making it so Caelus would spend less time with him?
Dan Heng supposed that must be it.
But even then, it still didn't make sense. Dan Heng had never cared for what anyone else got up to. In fact, he was usually glad when there were less people in the Astral Express. It meant less distractions, less conversation, more opportunities to keep to himself, less noise in general.
So why did he care now?
He couldn't figure it out. Dan Heng sighed as even his thoughts became jumbled, running through his brain too fast to really grasp and understand at this point.
He ended up laying on his bed, face pressed into a pillow. Everything about this was frustrating him to the point he balled his hand into fists, punching into the mattress. He didn't know what to do, or think, all he knew was that he needed this stupid, gnawing feeling in his chest to go away.
Dan Heng screamed.
He didn't know exactly why, he just felt like screaming and crying. It was annoying. Everything about this was annoying- if only Caelus would come back.
After a while of just laying on his bed, occasionally flopping onto his back and then back around to scream into his pillow again, he sighed in defeat.
It was no use.
He picked up his phone and stared at his screen, unsure of what to type. He wanted- he needed Caelus to come back. This was ridiculous- he felt awful. He needed this to stop. After a while, he finally send a text.
[Dan Heng] hey. when will you be back?
[Caelus] It'll be a while. Herta is running some test with that simulated universe.
[Caelus] don't know how long she'll need me.
[Dan Heng] please be quick, if you can.
[Caelus] huh?
[Caelus] why? Is everything alright? Is there some kind of emergency?
[Dan Heng] no emergency. Everything's okay, I just...
[Dan Heng] ugh this is embarrassing.
[Dan Heng] forget it.
[Caelus] I won't.
[Caelus] what's bothering you?
[Dan Heng] ...
[Dan Heng] I miss you.
[Caelus] huh.
No other reply came, so Dan Heng shut his phone off again. He groaned loudly. That had been a disaster.
Why had he typed that? Why had he even texted Caelus to being with?
Sure, it was true, but... Why had he made that request? That was such a selfish thing to ask for. He knew Caelus couldn't just leave when Herta needed him, Dan Heng knew that.
God he felt so stupid.
He was about to burry his head in the pillow again, when he felt a light touch on his shoulder. Brilliant amber eyes looked at him, burning with something Dan Heng couldn't place. Amusement, maybe? A hint of worry, perhaps?
Caelus smiled at him. "I never thought I'd see the day that anyone would be missing me- especially you."
Dan Heng blushed and groaned, immediately dropping his head onto the pillow. "please- forget I send that." He mumbled into the fabric. Caelus laughed quietly and Dan Hengs heart skipped a beat.
There was a soft push to his shoulder and Dan Heng let Caelus roll him around, so he was laying on his back. Then Caelus layed down next to him.
They just layed like that for a while, not saying a word.
To say that Dan Heng was embarrassed would be an understatement. Even after minutes, he could still feel his face burning up. He groaned and draped an arm over his face.
Usually, the silence between them was comfortable, but not today. Today, it seemed to be almost electric, charged with expectations and waiting to be broken, but Dan Heng didn't know what to say.
Eventually, he sighed. He turned his head away, not looking at Caelus as he spoke. "Please say something. I don't- I don't like this." Caelus hummed. "What do you want me to say?" Dan Heng groaned. "I don't know. Anything. How was it with Herta? I... I hope I didn't interrupt something important. You really didn't have to come back so quickly."
Caelus chuckled. "That so? Do you want me to leave then? If it wasn't so important for me to come back." Dan Heng could feel Caelus sit up and he surged upwards immediately, holding on to Caelus' arm in panic. "No! Don't- ...Stay, please."
Caelus smiled and settled back down. "Relax, I was only teasing." Dan Heng didn't reply, and he didn't let go of Caelus' arm. Caelus sighed. "The simulated universe is getting more and more challenging, but it's honestly quite fun. It's almost like a video game!"
Caelus continued to tell Dan Heng about the simulation, about Herta, about the Aeons, about other stuff that Dan Heng honestly didn't pay attention to.
He just wanted to lay here and listen to Caelus forever.
Dan Heng noticed that his mind had finally calmed down and he let out a quiet sigh in relief. Caelus didn't seem to react to it, not stopping his words at all.
He did however gently move his arm out of Dan Hengs grip, only to to take his hand in his own instead.
It was such a simple gesture an it probably didn't mean anything to Caelus. Dan Heng doubted he even noticed it, considering how enthusiastically Caelus was talking at the moment.
And yet, it send his mind spiralling once again.
It felt... Nice. Soft. Dan Heng felt soft in a weird sort of way that he had never experienced before. He felt at peace, but his mind and his heart were racing at the same time.
With every passing moment, Dan Heng became more and more aware of his own feelings, his thoughts, the way he had acted recently.
Almost like puzzle pieces falling into place, he felt a realization creeping in slowly, steadily, like a sink filling up with water.
Except, Dan Heng didn't know how to turn the faucet off. Soon, it felt like his emotions were overflowing, the comforting, warm feeling that had spread before, now flooding every inch of his being, his mind, until Caelus was the only thing left.
Dan Heng felt dazed as the realisation finally hit like a tsunami, everything within him roaring and seizing, building up and up and up until it all crashed down in an all-consuming, overwhelming rush of emotions.
Love.
Dan Heng was in love.
Suddenly, everything made sense. Why he had grown so comfortable with Caelus around, the strange happiness that he felt every time Caelus would drop by his room unannounced, the jealousy he had felt today, that he had missed Caelus so much.
He was in love with Caelus.
Dan Heng could feel his face heat up. He looked over at Caelus and all of a sudden, he looked so much prettier than ever before. Just watching his eyes sparkle as he talked about- about something- took Dan Hengs breath away. It made his head spin again, his hands began to shake like they had earlier, he felt...
Weak. Vulnerable. Scared. Dan Heng was scared.
Scared that Caelus would be disgusted with him if he found out, scared that this might end their friendship.
And yet. All he wanted to do was scream his new found revelation from the top of his lungs for all the universe to hear.
Caelus looked back at him then. He had stopped talking and looked at Dan Heng in question. "Is everything alright? You've been acting strange all day."
Dan Heng wanted to smile and reassure him that he was alright, but he couldn't bring himself to do it.
He wanted to wait. For what, he wasn't sure- a better moment, perhaps, or maybe just until he himself was more sure that what he felt truly was love.
Then again, there was no question about it in his mind and keeping this a secret from Caelus seemed selfish. Surely, it would only complicate things between them and that was the last thing Dan Heng wanted.
There was a gentle squeeze of his hand and Dan Heng snapped his head up to look at Caelus again. "Dan Heng? I'm starting to worry here. What-"
"I love you."
It was barely more than a whisper, like the wind had spoken the words and not Dan Heng himself. Caelus eyes widened in disbelief nonetheless.
"You... Love me?" Dan Heng blushed profusely and looked away then. "...Yes. I'm sorry to say it so suddenly, it... It only just occured to me that I do." Caelus stayed quiet.
After a very long, very painful second, Dan Heng felt a hand gently cupping his face, guiding him to look back again.
Caelus looked at him, seemingly searching his eyes for... something. Dan Heng just sat frozen, unmoving, silent.
"Are you sure Dan Heng?" Caelus was still looking at him, searching for signs of discomfort or lies. He found nothing as Dan Heng took a deep breath. "I'm sure. I'm sorry."
Caelus smiled gently. "Don't be."
Before Dan Heng could reply to that, he felt soft lips pressing against his own.
His eyes grew wide, before slipping shut. He moved one hand to tangle into Caelus hair, pulling him close, kissing him back.
His mind was reeling. All rational thought had left his brain as all Dan Heng could register was Caelus, kissing him with an urgency that took his breath away.
They were both panting when they broke apart. Dan Heng stared at Caeus, his mind still unable to string together a coherent sentence.
"Aeons, Dan Heng, you have no idea how long I've wanted to kiss you." Caelus was whispering, his thumb gently stroking over Dan Hengs cheek, and Dan Heng couldn't breathe.
He couldn't think, couldn't speak, couldn't do anything but lean in again, pressing their lips together and melting into the warmth that spread through him.