Work Text:
I’m standing on an elevator leading straight to heaven, thinking of a demon who was never meant for hell.
When I first met Crowley, I could tell our fate was written in the stars. His face beamed brightly when he was met with the beauty of a newly formed portion of the galaxy, and I couldn’t help but stare at him when I should’ve been focused on the wonders formed around me. The angel’s red curls were perfectly coiffed, and his skin was a subtle gold. The standard white gown somehow fit him better than any other being I’ve seen. I even felt his infectious, joyful essence from the short distance between us.
In short, Crowley was absolutely radiant, and I’d do anything to see him that way again.
Yet, the next time we met was a pleasant shock to the system. As Crowley slithered up to me on the wall of the Garden of Eden, I could hardly recognize the wily demon beside me. Once back to his chosen bipedal form, I could see that his curls had grown long and lush. His smooth, golden skin had turned pale and sported a distinct snake design on the right side of his face. His rich brown eyes had morphed into an inhuman yellow with snaky slits.
The beautiful angel had suddenly turned into a handsome demon, and no matter how many times we would meet in the many years to come, I could never comprehend how Crowley managed to make evil look so good.
But Crowley suffered excruciating pain when he fell from grace. Landing into a boiling pit of sulfur as a catalyst for unholy change is hardly a walk in the park. We only spoke of it once, and we were quite inebriated when we did, but I remember every word. I remember every tear.
The next morning, I swore to myself to never bring up that night. It was clearly a moment of weakness and a dreadful thing to witness. From that day forward, I wished to protect Crowley from any further harm in the course of our forbidden friendship.
So, when Metatron proposed the idea of joining the higher ranks of heaven and bringing Crowley along for the ride, I believed my dear demon would find peace in becoming his angelic self again. No longer would he have to fear the wrath of God or be bothered by the creatures of hell. He could be his whimsical, radiant self again! All transgressions and unasked questions would be forgiven!
Oh, what a fool was I.
What I failed to see was that Crowley was not interested in returning to his angelic ways, nor did he care for continuing his work as a wily demon. Crowley had grown quite attracted to the idea of simply being himself in a world brimming with individuality, and he yearned for me to have a part within it.
His forceful kiss was certainly a strong indication of that… And that kiss should’ve been enough to convince me! But instead, the kiss only reminded me of the passionate angel that I had known before the fall.
“I forgive you.”
What an awful thing to say when all I truly meant to convey was, “I love you.”
I love him, and I don’t want to be without him. Oh please, don’t let me be without him.
But when the elevator doors open, I find myself alone for the first time in forever.