Chapter Text
<A post-it note appears on the beat-up chemistry textbook of one Sarnax. After multiple instances of him throwing the note out, then it mysteriously reappearing, he gave up trying to ignore the list and began to respond. Thus, the long series of post-it notes that now rests stuck fast to the cage of a certain lizard was begun. It continues to grow to this day.>
The Many Crimes of Gherix ‘The Firelord’
1. Biting.
YOU SHOULD NOT INVADE HIS SPACE, THEN. OR MINE.
2. Shits in a sandbox.
WOULD YOU PREFER HE DEFECATE ON YOU?
3. Eats bugs.
I DO NOT KNOW WHY THIS IS A CRIME, THEY EAT INSECTS. IT IS IN THEIR NATURE.
4. …and saves their wings to kick out of the cage while I’m in the area.
….I DO NOT KNOW WHY HE DOES THIS. YES, THIS IS TECHNICALLY A CRIME BY YOUR LOGIC.
5. Escaping captivity
YES, THIS IS A CRIME. DO NOT REMIND ME.
6. Property damage
…ALSO YES. CRIME.
7. Shredding my hat
I WARNED YOU TO NOT PUT IT NEAR HIS ENCLOSURE. NOT A CRIME.
8. Shredding ANOTHER hat that was nowhere near him, he hunted that sunovabitch down
I COULD NOT STOP HIM, HE HAD A VENDETTA AGAINST THAT HAT. CRIME.
Shit, running out of room. More crime later.