Archive of Our Own ^beta

Renjun never knew how to feel about the sensations that being in this situation caused him from time to time.

His chest rose and fell repeatedly, and his heart was pounding, so hard that the cries of people praising him felt almost muffled.

Renjun looked around, there were journalists, civilians, and people who thanked him, he never felt that he truly deserved it, but neither could he avoid the smile on his lips that no one could see behind the mask.

The police captain thanked him, always with a slight grimace, but Renjun didn't stop smiling until he said goodbye and walked away from there, leaving the screams behind.

Arriving at his apartment always brought him back to reality, he took off his mask and let out a big breath, in the silence he began to notice how really hurt he was and began to treat his own wounds.

Renjun had been protecting the city under the identity of Spiderman for three years, fighting bad guys and improving his sewing skills every time he had to fix his suits.

He looked at the wounds on his legs and relaxed, they weren't serious, they should be completely healed by tomorrow.

He threw himself on his bed and closed his eyes, so exhausted that sleep was about to come immediately to him, reminiscing a bit about the difficult fight that night, but the important thing was that he had done it, once again he had done a decent job.

He began to fall asleep when his phone rang, letting out a grunt he grabbed it, and saw that it was Mark who was calling him.

"It's midnight, I have classes tomorrow" was the first thing he said as soon as he answered, and he heard Mark laugh on the other end of the line.

"And yet you're awake" Mark countered, Renjun groaned, he wasn't awake because he wanted to, but he didn't say anything "I'm sorry, but if I didn't call now, then I would forget"

"Hmm, what happened?" Renjun said settling down on his bed, hoping it wouldn't take long and he could sleep.

“Do you want to go with me to a work dinner? I know you hate who I work for but I swear my boss won't be there" Mark said as Renjun let out a little whimper.

Mark had recently started working for the Daily Bugle, focusing on news from the world of sports, Renjun always claimed to disagree with the newspaper's views on other issues.

Even so, he was dedicated to reading or watching the segments that Mark hosted because he was a good friend and he was proud of him.

"Mark... don't ambush me like this when I'm about to fall asleep" Renjun complained with a high-pitched voice, and although Mark couldn't see him, he was pouting, he was still sure that Mark could guess it "What happened to your puppy?"

"Hey, Jeno is not my puppy" he heard Mark snort, Renjun was ready to contradict him but he just giggled "He's too busy that night, I immediately thought of you when he told me he couldn't, please cutie I need you"

“Are trying to seduce me again? It's not going to work” Renjun said between stammers and giggles, almost not knowing what he was saying because of how sleepy he was.

"Stop," Mark said making Renjun laugh a bit more "It's not even super formal, an outing between coworkers, I might make them jealous if you're by my side"

"Hum, you know how to win me," Renjun said contemplating the offer, Mark had helped him too much and Renjun had done little to repay all the favors he had done "Won't Jeno get sad? I don't want misunderstandings"

“Oh no, I immediately told him my idea and he thought it was perfect” Mark assured "Trust him more Ren, he already knows that there's nothing to be jealous about" Renjun smiled at the latter, though he doubted there would be much to be jealous of someone like him.

"Fine, I'll go, send me the info before you forget," Renjun said sighing and closing his eyes, he heard Mark celebrate on the other end of the line.

He saw the information in the chat but his eyes did not focus, so he said goodbye and left his phone next to him, finally falling asleep.

.

Renjun was trying to be punctual, but he had issues that made it difficult for him at times, he had just stopped a petty shoplifting and now he was racing to make it to his first class in the morning, looking at his phone and praying that his professor was late that day.

He hadn't gotten much sleep, and his body ached a bit from a fight he had the night before with a stubborn villain, even so, the worst part of all this was that he woke up in a bad mood.

"You're on time," Chenle told him as soon as he saw him reach the classroom, breathing heavily from running.

"Thank god," he said, catching his breath, leaving his things on the table and sitting next to Chenle, trying to remember his schedule for today, until he noticed that Chenle was unusually quiet "What are you looking at?"

"Oh, an article," Chenle said without taking his eyes off the screen, offering Renjun a granola bar, guessing that he hadn't eaten "They're talking shit about Spiderman."

"What?" Renjun said surprised, already with his mouth full, he grabbed the phone from Chenle's hands and looked at the article.

The headline said 'Spiderman makes a fool of himself again' Renjun frowned, chewing harder.

'It is not surprising that Spiderman once again terrorizes those he "saves" after all that seems to be his job, to save the city while destroying it' 

Renjun felt his anger rise rapidly, he clenched his fist tightly as they continued to scroll down the article full of words against him and his poor performance as a hero.

'Open your eyes, should a person who destroys the city be called "friendly" or "hero"? At the end of the day he is just another criminal, but disguised in a suit with pastel colors to confuse you'

Renjun snorted extending the phone to Chenle, "How do they expect Spiderman not to break some things if the villains hit him against them?!" Renjun complained "At the end of the day people are alive because of him, no? And he has always strongly promoted caring for the environment"

"Uh… yes," Chenle said looking at him with some confusion, Renjun tried to regain his composure, and he heard Chenle laugh "It's from the Daily Bugle, you can't expect anything different from them"

"Yeah, it doesn't matter anyway," Renjun said, letting the topic die along with Chenle's laughter.

He took out his things while his teacher walked in but he couldn't stop thinking about it.

What things did that madman say? 'Inefficient and incompetent' Why don't they try being Spiderman and balance it with trying to live a normal life like Renjun has been doing for the past few years?

What does the idiot who wrote that shitty article knows about him?! He has no idea how hard it is to be Spiderman, how time-consuming it is, how few friendships he has managed to keep because everyone always gets bored of Renjun not being on time for birthdays or meetings, having no one to talk to about this.

Renjun reacted when he broke the pen he was holding in his hand, his hand was filled with ink just like the empty page of his notebook, his classmates at his sides looked at him strangely, some with small giggles, Renjun sighed biting his lip and at the request of his teacher began to clean up his mess.

.

The Daily Bugle articles and newspapers about him had started since Renjun started, he never paid much attention to them, but suddenly there was a change.

A few months ago it was like they just stopped hating him just because, they provided points that left Renjun doubting himself, it didn't help that he never felt enough.

That day ended with torturous slowness, he was lucky no emergency occurred during his class hours, and now as it was starting to get dark, he decided to put on his suit and go out on patrol.

Swinging around the city, looking for someone who needed help, but it didn't seem like a busy night, Renjun appreciated this and even bought some churros to eat while he decided to sit on top of a building.

While he chewed, he looked at the landscape of New York under his feet, it was one of the things that Renjun liked most about being Spiderman, the places he could go and get to, he had drawn countless times the landscapes he saw in his sketchbook when he took it with him, but nothing compared to what his eyes saw.

His phone vibrated with a notification, a hostage robbery a few streets away, Renjun stuffed himself with what was left and lowered his mask, shooting a web and swinging to the spot.

"Hey! I doubt that's a loan" Renjun exclaimed and regretted it, that was not funny, he thought with a sigh, sometimes the freedom of being masked made him talk nonsense.

"Spidergirl appeared," one of the big men said with a smirk, Renjun frowned, He had to improve his anger management.

"Did you want to see me?" Renjun asked with a fake tone of appreciation as he scanned his surroundings, two more men, and a couple of hostages, it was a jewelry store "You wanted to give me a ring? I think we should get to know each other more"

"There won't be time for that," the man said with a macabre smile as he pointed an intimidating gun at Renjun.

"I can't sleep late today," Renjun said along with a sigh, the guy fired with a terrible aim, breaking the window and damaging a sign outside that Renjun had left a couple of days ago, his message now ruined "Hey! I made that!"

"Good idea to do it with paper," the man said, prepared to fire again, but in a succession of quick movements he covered the tip of the weapon.

"It's recycled idiot" Renjun snorted, cobwebbed the other two's pistols, and jumped up, landing clean blows and knocking them both out.

But when he was about to release the hostages, his spider-sense activated, he moved back and saw the box that was thrown, when he turned to see the man, as usual, his spider-sense appeared only when it wanted, and he could not dodge the following.

He was hit hard, colliding with the glass shelves, a couple of the glass cutting into his suit causing him to groan, it had taken him weeks to sew a new one! he gritted his teeth.

He looked at the man and got up, today was not his best day, he was irritable and couldn't take anything, he approached with agility and hit with a fluid and strong movement.

He managed to hit the man's head hard against the floor, he had no patience tonight, wrapping him in his web and tying him to the other two.

Luckily for him, the police sirens were already heard as he released the hostages.

When he left the jewelry store, he nodded to the policemen who imitated him and entered the place, there was a small group of people surrounding the place curious about what was happening, he raised one of his hands to throw a web, but he only took a step before they held him by the wrist.

"Daily Bugle! Spiderman, what's it like to be unable to solve a single crime without destroying private property?" He heard who had grabbed him say with an irritating mocking tone.

He shouldn't be mad, he really shouldn't, but just listening to Daily Bugle made his head boil with rage.

"What do you care?" He snapped and removed his hand, turning and looking at whoever had spoken to him.

Renjun felt himself freeze instead, a weight he hadn't felt in years fell on him.

"Rude" Lee Donghyuck said in front of him with a grimace, but a sly smile on his lips that indicated that he had enjoyed his reaction "Nothing to say to clean up your image?"

Renjun couldn't believe who was in front of him, with that look that always seemed disinterested even though he was always analyzing whoever was in front of him, now a little hidden behind glasses with a transparent frame, while pointing the microphone in his direction.

Renjun felt his mouth go dry, oh god no, he felt the anger leave his body to be replaced by complete shock, caught up in his surprise and looking at Donghyuck as if he were hallucinating.

Donghyuck had his hair combed and was wearing a suit and tie that made him look so mature compared to the last memory he had of him, he felt slightly ridiculous being in his superhero suit, he looked at him from head to toe and noticed the nametag hanging from his collar that identified him as press.

Donghyuck had made it, Renjun felt a chill run through his entire body, what kind of cruel meeting of fate was this, how was he supposed to react to a situation like this?

Donghyuck raised an eyebrow in confusion at his silence, Renjun swallowed hard, it wasn't fair, how could it be fair that Donghyuck looked so hot while looking for any opportunity to put Spiderman down?

"Really nothing to say?" Donghyuck said with that annoying tone again, Renjun clenched his fists.

Why was he the one who had to bear the shame of meeting his ex-boyfriend after so many years while Hyuck could be calm? Definitely unfair.

"No, nothing to say" Renjun mumbled, changing his voice a bit, and turned, getting out of there as fast as he could, leaving behind who until recently had been a ghost from the past.

When he woke up the next day, with enough time to stop by a cafeteria and eat something on the way to campus, he didn't expect to get a scoop on the little local television.

“The rumors once again prove to be true! The dear Spiderman has a volatile temper!" The old man said with a smile, immediately playing the clip from the night before.

Under any other circumstances, he would be upset, but now he could only watch the image on the TV with a frown, deaf ears to the words.

He was still too overwhelmed, he felt his heart beating fast as he watched the screen, Donghyuck had grown into his features, and he looked like a professional, god Renjun wanted to scream he looked too good, it wasn't fair.

It was Renjun who got broken up with, shouldn't he be the one to have the glow-up? While looking at Hyuck's perfect hair, Renjun touched one of his long silver locks, he had stopped cutting his hair often, and the roots would be much more visible if it weren't for Chenle kidnapping him every two months to touch them up.

How was it fair that Hyuck grew up to be so devastatingly attractive, and apparently successful, after leaving him?

Well, maybe he was a little hurt, one would think that these kinds of feelings would go away after so long, and Renjun thought the same thing but it all came back when he saw Donghyuck's stupid smile mocking him.

Renjun left the place with his food in his hands, trying to stop thinking about his reunion with Donghyuck but failing miserably.

.

Renjun discovered easily that it was Donghyuck who had started making most of the articles that had hit him the hardest.

Maybe that's why they had managed to hit the right nerves in him, maybe if Spiderman was someone else Donghyuck's words could seem empty, but Spiderman is Renjun, and Donghyuck was always adept at knowing how to hurt him.

Renjun was now finishing a mural that he had started a couple of days ago, he had done it with chalk and had made an effort to make it look cute, despite knowing that in a few days, it would have disappeared, he knew that he shouldn't and in theory, he was committing a crime, but he didn't care if he could convey a message.

When he finished the drawing he thought better of it.

Donghyuck didn't write to hurt, that was never his intention, when they were just friends Donghyuck used to write him silly notes about the topic of the day, he liked to make false news about things that were happening in his neighborhood, and by the time they started dating he had written to Renjun love letters that after the breakup only made him cry, he sighed as he sat upside down looking at the mural.

These last few days hadn't been the best but they weren't that bad either, in order not to think too much about his problems, he ended up plunging into school work and any escape that Spiderman could offer him, avoiding it at all costs and miraculously achieving it with ease.

He got so distracted that he had completely forgotten his responsibilities to his friends, as sometimes used to happen, and when Mark called saying he'd pick him up in two hours, Renjun had to hurry to get to his apartment and get ready.

"I knew this would happen" He heard Mark say when he entered his apartment with the code, Renjun ignored him as he finished putting on some makeup "But you look cute so I'll forgive you" Renjun giggled.

"Thanks, Mark," He said as he applied some ink to his lips, he gave Mark a bad look when he noticed that he didn't stop looking at him and he immediately straightened up and looked away, old habits die hard he supposes.

Renjun smirked and pressed his lips together, standing up straight and putting away his makeup “I'm ready” Renjun said, and Mark smiled.

Mark's co-workers were nice, Renjun was surprised to find them so nice when they were part of such a tabloid newspaper, but clearly, he didn't say anything, and surprisingly the subject of work didn't come up, the only thing had been embarrassing stories from Mark that he had conveniently forgotten to tell him, which had Renjun laughing with them.

Renjun enjoyed the atmosphere, it was always Mark who encouraged him the most to meet people, he was the first friend Renjun made when he arrived in New York and he was lucky that he was his roommate, after all, he judged character very well and didn't get together with unpleasant people, Renjun always found that charming in a certain way.

But just because it was a little hard to get him to go out, it didn't mean he didn't enjoy those moments when Mark made him, making everything so easy for Renjun that at times like this he could truly feel like he was leading a normal life like everyone else.

He looked at himself for the last time in the bathroom mirror, his hair still looked decent, he had combed it a bit so it didn't look like he had a nest on his head, and after the compliments from Mark's coworkers, he felt good about himself, managing to relax.

Returning to the table, everyone was already a little drunk, with loud laughter and rosy cheeks, now for some reason standing in a semicircle greeting someone Johnny blocked from view.

When he got much closer and stood next to Mark, he felt him place his arm around his shoulders, ready to present him proudly, but when Karina broke away from the tight hug she had given the boy, Renjun felt his blood pressure drop.

Perhaps because it was the second time he saw him, Renjun was able to hide it better than Donghyuck, who would have broken the glass in his hand if it weren't for Renjun catching it at the exact moment he dropped it, impressing everyone who whistled and laughed, Renjun smiled slightly embarrassed by the attention and looked at the man in front of him.

Donghyuck seemed to fully react after a few seconds, saying that it had slipped with a giggle, but Renjun could see his conflicted expression, grabbing the glass from Renjun's hands without letting their fingers touch.

Renjun felt like a complete idiot, Daily Bugle, why hadn't he connected the dots? He couldn't stand looking at Hyuck much more, instead, he moved closer to Mark and tried to act normal.

"This is Renjun" Mark introduced clueless, of course, Renjun could never blame him, for him Donghyuck had no name or face, he was just someone Renjun had talked about at night the few times he decided to drink alcohol "Ren, this is Donghyuck”

"Yes," Donghyuck said, stammering a bit, but recovering quickly “Nice to meet you” Oh, so it was going to be like that.

Renjun looked into Hyuck's eyes, it was worse to see him up close, and without his mask, truly his attractiveness was devastating, Renjun hesitated but luckily no one noticed "A pleasure" he ended up saying and returned to his place.

Renjun took a slow breath, avoiding at all costs looking in Donghyuck's direction, he could feel his heavy gaze dissecting him, Renjun sometimes wanted to hide, but it would be too suspicious if he went out of nowhere and left Mark alone for the rest of the night.

He drank a little to have an excuse not to talk, smiling and nodding when Mark wanted someone to back him up with his stories that few believed, but Renjun wasn't taking it, Hyuck's piercing gaze on him.

"Markie" Renjun said with a tiny pout, he leaned his head on Mark's shoulder and looked at him "I'm getting drunk, I'll go get some air" he lied applying his best innocent face, the one that always worked on Mark.

"Sure Ren, be careful" Mark replied with a small smile and stroked his hair, Renjun smiled at him and excused himself, leaving for a moment at the entrance of the restaurant.

He took a deep breath, he wasn't that drunk, even though he felt a little dizzy, he could leave, swing across town and be at his apartment in a second, never have to go back inside, but he couldn't do that to Mark.

He wasn't too surprised when Donghyuck walked out the door of the restaurant, Renjun still couldn't get used to his presence, he watched him approach.

"What are you doing here?" Renjun muttered, leaning back against the wall, tucking his arms when a light cold breeze blew.

"I said I forgot my phone in the car" Hyuck gave him a half smile showing his phone and putting it in his pocket, Renjun forced himself not to smile, "I thought we should… talk"

"Talk" Renjun said softly, he didn't feel like talking "Why would you want us to talk"

"It's been a while" Hyuck sighed "I never expected to see you again, much less… with Mark" He walked over to him, putting his hands in his pockets.

"What are you insinuating?" Renjun responded, appearing calm, but deep down when he saw Hyuck's cunning and mocking smile, he knew that the dark-haired man could see his nerves.

"I never considered Mark your type" Renjun clenched his jaw, Donghyuck was so smug, he leaned towards him, and Renjun looked away snorting, he knew Donghyuck too well, he knew the exact words he was looking to hear out of his mouth.

"Mark was amazing to me, but we're not together if that's what you want to know," Renjun said rolling his eyes, somehow Donghyuck's approach started to bother him, it's been years and this is the first thing he says to him? "He's very happy seeing someone else"

"Cool," Hyuck said with fake disregard, standing up straight, a disinterested expression that was starting to irritate Renjun "Are you seeing someone else then?"

"I don't see how that's any of your business" Renjun replied with a grimace that made Donghyuck laugh, god no, that laugh.

"You… how have you been?" Donghyuck then changed his look, and Renjun sighed, he didn't know what they were doing.

"Fine" He answered shortly "and you?" He added out of courtesy.

"Great" Hyuck nodded, suddenly the atmosphere had become uncomfortable "I heard Mark say that you study at ncit"

"Yeah, environmental science" Renjun shifted slightly uncomfortably "and I see that you managed to get the job you wanted… although I'm not sure how"

"Hey, I'm good at what I do" Donghyuck grimaced and moved closer, Renjun couldn't deny it "Not exactly what I expected, but I'm not complaining," Hyuck said with a shrug.

"Hum," Renjun nodded, awkward, god why was he so awkward? "I see you came alone" At this last the corner of Donghyuck's lips lifted, giving a sly smile that made Renjun want to take it back.

"Yeah, I don't have eye candy to show off like Mark does" Renjun took a breath, feeling a little suffocated again, Hyuck rested his arm on the wall next to him and suddenly there was another change in the atmosphere, he felt a chill and looked at Donghyuck "You look very hot, by the way"

"Shut up" Renjun frowned, he could feel the tension change, becoming something that scared him more with how close Donghyuck was.

“You always said that when…” Donghyuck said almost in a whisper, he stopped his words, but Renjun knew exactly what he was going to say, he felt the heat running through his body, his cheeks red as he looked at Donghyuck's face.

He searched for the willpower to move away, but Donghyuck was magnetic, despite that he managed to come to his senses and notice the madness he was thinking, "I'll go back inside"

Renjun turned but Hyuck stopped him by grabbing his wrist, Renjun felt his touch be electric, sending shocks through his entire body, and he felt his heart pound in his throat, it was painful but so debilitating.

"Shouldn't we catch up?" Hyuck told him, and Renjun turned to look him in the eye, now it wasn't just that they had broken up, now Renjun was Spiderman, and he couldn't afford this kind of distraction, so he denied it.

"You and I don't know each other anymore, remember?" Renjun said, he noticed Donghyuck's expression change, pain, did he feel it too? Hyuck released him.

Renjun turned and entered the restaurant, doing his best to look normal, nothing happened outside, Hyuck didn't completely ignore how they ended their relationship just to flirt with him, no.

When Donghyuck returned after a while, Renjun didn't look at him again for the rest of the night, and it seemed that Hyuck was also trying not to look at him, but Renjun could feel Hyuck's gaze on him from time to time either way.

.

Renjun always thought of Spiderman as an escape, and while few would consider escaping doing their homework on top of a building after having rescued a kitten from a tree, for Renjun it felt better than being in the stifling walls of his apartment.

He stuffed everything into his backpack and slung it over his shoulder, stretching and fluidly dropping down, webbing the building across the street, and swinging.

His phone started ringing, so he stopped the hustle and took it out, walking sideways on a long wall.

"Hello?" Renjun said, "Chenle if this is for me to do your homework again, that time was special because of-"

"It's not that" On the other end of the line he heard him snort, Renjun could swear he was frowning and rolling his eyes, he laughed at this "Mark wants to go clubbing, we need the designated sober driver"

"And that has to be me"

"Hey, you made that rule yourself!" Chenle complained it was true, what if they needed Spiderman and he was drunk? Renjun couldn't afford that "Come pick me up at eight, then we go to Mark's" Chenle said "He's going to invite some of his friends"

"As who?" Renjun said with a small grimace.

"Friends from his work," Chenle told him, and Renjun swears he doesn't know what happened to him when his phone slipped from his fingers.

He cursed and in quick movements, he had a perfect aim to catch it and at the same time swing to the other building, looking embarrassed at the old lady who almost got hit by his phone.

"Sorry, I'm on the street," he said as soon as he put his phone back to his ear, Chenle said something about understanding but Renjun was worried "Did he mention any names?"

"Nope," Renjun bit his lower lip "didn't you already meet them anyway? You can not go if you don't want to hang out with a lot of people"

"No, it's fine" Renjun hurried to say "I'll go, we'll talk later I have to get home," he said with a sigh, and Chenle said goodbye quickly, hanging up the call.

Renjun hurried to sway, he was always careful when coming home, and this time was no exception.

But as soon as he arrived, he threw himself onto his small sofa, quickly taking off his suit and looking at his ceiling.

There was nothing to do, he has no idea if Donghyuck will go or not, but Renjun is old enough to stop acting like that, he should be more mature about it.

.

Renjun arrived at the club, ordering non-alcoholic drinks from the bartender who already knew him and had them ready for him, Renjun liked him, Jeno always told him that he should ask for his number, but Renjun doesn't have time to date new people.

Becoming friends with Chenle was sort of destiny, and Renjun dares to say that even now he's still getting to know Jeno, so he wasn't too keen on the idea.

He smiled when he saw Karina, and Yuta, greeting them in a friendly way, both with much more casual clothes that showed more of their personalities.

"Guess who's late again" Yuta had said loudly over the music when he sat down next to him, Renjun felt a chill "That fool right there"

Renjun turned to look where Yuta had pointed, he knew Donghyuck would be there, and now he had arrived with another guy.

Seeing him like this, in a more casual way, reminded him a little more of the Donghyuck he used to know, he even seemed to be the same, of course, he was an evolved version of that, he no longer had an almost uncontrollable mane of hair, but Hyuck has always loved to wear leather jackets.

Renjun couldn't believe how unfair life was, Donghyuck had grown so well and the fact that even now he had a long way to go, Renjun would be devastated at the very thought of what Donghyuck would look like in a couple of years.

"Hey" Hyuck greeted Yuta who was next to him with a nod of his head "You look good"

"Cut it, what do you want," Yuta said immediately making Hyuck laugh, sitting in front of both of them "Or can I get you anything?"

"Why are you so eager?" Donghyuck crossed his arms, leaning back on the couch, squinting at Yuta who gave a sharp smile.

"I want to flirt with that girl" Yuta discreetly pointed to a beautiful woman "I'll take a while, bye" he ended up saying to get up and leave.

Renjun watched him go and walk away, until he had to tear his gaze away, fixing it instead on the glass in front of him.

He didn't understand how, despite the loud music and the people singing, he could feel the uncomfortable silence between them.

"I didn't know you were coming" Hyuck started, Renjun nodded slowly "I- oh, thanks?" he said puzzled when Chenle arrived with rosy cheeks and a smile, set a drink in front of him and said you're welcome, winking and leaving.

Donghyuck looked at Renjun confused, who, no matter how hard he tried to avoid it, let out a couple of giggles that he tried to hide with his hand, Hyuck seemed doubtful to even grab the glass.

"You can drink it, that was my best friend Chenle," Renjun said calmly, an appropriate volume in his voice so that he could be heard.

"Interesting," Hyuck said looking at the cup and taking it to his mouth, taking a sip "It's good" he nodded and Renjun nodded in the same way.

"This time you came with eye candy to show off," Renjun said pointing to the guy Hyuck had arrived with.

"Jaemin? He's not eye candy, rather repellent" Hyuck said with a laugh looking at the pink-haired boy from afar "He's my Chenle" He added looking into his eyes, Renjun chuckled slightly.

The silence rushed back to them, weighing more and more on his shoulders until there was a small grimace on his face as he finished his drink.

"Renjun, you… you look amazing" Donghyuck seemed to have wanted to say something else, but settled for what his lips had left, Renjun felt the weight grow on his shoulders.

"Stop exaggerating, it won't make this any easier," Renjun said out of nowhere, perhaps too sincere, and there was a sharp shift, Donghyuck now alert and upright on the table that separated them.

"It's been years… and you don't want to talk but" Hyuck decided to speak honestly anyway, Renjun hated every word that came out of his mouth and prayed to the heavens for him to shut up, "I think it could hurt us both"

"Is it that bad that I don't want to talk?" Renjun then said awkwardly, looking at his empty glass "Let's keep pretending we don't know each other"

"I don't want that Jun" Hyuck said a little lower, Renjun almost didn't hear him because of the music, but he felt a chill go through his entire body at the familiar nickname "It's too weird"

Renjun bit his lower lip, he couldn't keep running away, he looked around none of his friends were in sight, he looked at Hyuck who was waiting with big eyes looking at him through the glass of his glasses, Renjun shook his head and got up, Hyuck followed him.

"What do you want to talk about?" Renjun sighed crossing his arms and stopping when they were outside the club, in an ugly alley, but there was nothing better.

"You… you don't wear glasses anymore" the sentence stunned Renjun, he hadn't expected it at all and it had caught him off guard, he blinked a couple of times.

"Uh, no, contact lenses" Renjun managed to articulate quickly, clearly he couldn't tell that ever since he was bitten by a radioactive spider his vision had magically healed "and now you wear glasses"

"Yeah, you were right, I'm blind as fuck," Hyuck said with a giggle, touching the frame of his glasses.

Renjun felt nostalgic at his words, remembering the number of times he said them to him when Hyuck would squint his eyes to see something that wasn't even that far away, complaining every time Renjun told him.

"Donghyuck, what do you really want to tell me" Renjun cut his thoughts off with a sigh.

"I… I want us to start again" Donghyuck admitted, with difficulty, as if it was hard for him to say that as if it hurt him as much as it hurt Renjun to hear it "I could never find an end to everything we left unresolved and I just thought I would forget it, and I almost did, but I saw you again and I feel..."

"You feel bad?" Renjun blurted out harder than he wanted, but didn't change his stance "I felt bad that night too"

"I know I did everything wrong but-" Donghyuck started, moving closer to him, Renjun took a step back.

"No Hyuck, I don't want to hear your excuses" Renjun interrupted him, his voice as calm as he could "You knew that things like that affect me and you did it anyway"

"I didn't mean to! I didn't want to leave after that, I didn't have time to say goodbye" Donghyuck said with some despair, Renjun frowned.

"Yes, you did! You had months to tell me! But you didn't explain, nothing" Renjun accused him, their voices rising, people passing by sometimes looking in their direction.

"I know you Renjun, if I said it earlier you would have been depressed right away, I didn't want the last days of our relationship to be horrible for you" Donghyuck admitted with a harshness that squeezed Renjun's heart painfully.

"You still chose to break my heart and walked out the next day, how was that better?" Renjun argued, he didn't understand why it still hurt.

"Renjun you know my parents I had no choice! Do you think I was happy leaving you like that?" Donghyuck said moving closer, his expression looked so apologetic, this time Renjun didn't take a step back.

"I know that but" Renjun gasped in frustration, grabbing his hair and looking to the side "I cried so much when you left, I thought about you for a whole year, I dreamed of you" he looked at Hyuck then "and when I came to New York I realized that I was terrified to see you again"

"So you didn't want to see me?" Donghyuck said, his expression painful, Renjun felt a little annoyed, why had Hyuck made it like this… so difficult.

"You also hoped you would never see me again!" He exclaimed with some irritation, Hyuck approached once more.

"Because it would hurt too much, it didn't mean I would hate to see you again," Hyuck said in front of him, a grimace on his face, but Renjun felt angry.

He looked at those features and his moles, the air caught in his throat when Donghyuck gently placed a hand on his shoulder, and despite his brain screaming at him to remove it, he found himself calming down a bit after the touch.

Still, his brain thought bitterly, Donghyuck had only come back to haunt him? And now not only him but Spiderman too?

"I always wondered so many things," Renjun said sincerely, he felt tired "If you hated me if you thought of me or had already forgotten me, the uncertainty of not knowing anything about you, after years, it was horrible"

"Junnie I'm sorry," Donghyuck said, and Renjun wanted to step up and be in his space, maybe hug him and see if it was like he remembered, but he didn't "I never meant to hurt you so much, please let me repay all your pain, let's start again"

Renjun was silent, he didn't want to be there anymore, all this, the way he spoke, the way he felt, it was as if he had returned to his adolescence, but he wanted so badly to give it another chance, despite knowing that he couldn't, Spiderman couldn't bring himself to love someone again like Renjun loved Donghyuck.

"Did you ever try to contact me when you got here?" Renjun asked, looking into Hyuck's eyes, and when he didn't reply he got his answer "Donghyuck, you and I can't start over, our history is already stained, and this will only make it worse"

“Junnie I hated not being there for you, after your brother... I tried looking for you but everyone said that I would be the last person you want to see" Donghyuck looked at him hurt, his grip tightened slightly as if asking Renjun to be more understanding "How can you be so sure we can't start over?"

Maybe Renjun should be more understanding, he knew what Donghyuck's parents were like, and he knew that his future was probably at stake if Hyuck didn't do what they wanted, and his heart ached for him too, but he didn't want to give him another chance like this.

Renjun knew, deep down both knew that they could never be just friends, and Renjun wasn't ready for Donghyuck at all, even though he wanted to let him in.

"I'm not sure" he admitted taking the steps back he should have taken a long time ago "but I'm not sure I want to risk finding out either" Renjun took a slow breath, both of them falling back into silence, before long he turned around.

Neither said another word, and they didn't speak to each other again inside the club, Renjun was good at hiding his feelings, pretending that he didn't have a life outside of Spiderman, because things like this ruined his mood and made him feel even less worthy.

.

Renjun was trying to separate himself and Spiderman, wanting to prevent the problems of his personal life from slipping under the mask and causing him to be distracted and fail.

He had managed to stay secluded enough and out of trouble for a while, pursuing his career as best he could, speaking occasionally to his family, or what was left who still spoke to him, his small group of friends was enough, all of this had worked wonderfully for Renjun.

But as much as he wanted to separate them, he and Spiderman were the same, and Renjun was never a completely stable person, that's why Spiderman despite having a reputation for being friendly had also made a name for himself due to his occasionally hot temper.

The last few weeks he had been thinking about it too much, Donghyuck was always like a virus that infected his mind, he didn't understand why, if he had done the right thing in pushing him away, he felt so sorry for his decision.

He constantly wondered what would have happened if he had said yes, that they could start over, Donghyuck and he had only seen each other a few times in the last few weeks, always from afar, Renjun found himself hating that he had said what he said.

And even though he knew he shouldn't, now as he was fighting a villain, he was letting out his frustration, his punches were getting stronger and less neat, and the fluidity that his fighting style was characterized by wasn't there, he slammed into the body that fell on the pavement.

He hated that people were around him, staring at him and judging him, the greedy news channels wanting to record Spiderman punching or getting hit by a villain, and the civilians who thought they were far enough away even though they only worried Renjun more.

But why was he so immature? Why couldn't he just leave the past behind? so pathetic, purposely sabotaging his chances just to not feel like he was asking for more than he could have, he knew Donghyuck was there, watching him, and that only made his condition worse.

He let out a scream when the villain attacked him, a direct blow to his face and most likely breaking his nose, the pain stabbed unbearably in his face and his eyes watered, he took steps back, everything was wrong, he was so lost that not even his spider-sense warned him.

"Shit!" He yelled in exasperation, he was fed up, he didn't want to be Spiderman, he didn't want to be Renjun, he didn't want anything, but instead of defeat his body felt adrenaline.

“Distracted? Did you think it would be easy? the man in front of him said, Renjun blinked until his vision cleared, what was this guy's name even? his answer came as the mechanical wings unfurled and he launched quickly towards him, right.

Renjun tried to fight him as best he could, but every time the man managed to hit him his anger grew, he was annoyed and forcefully managed to make the villain hit a wall, leaving it extremely damaged, Renjun reached out to finish it off and to hand him over to the police but again he shot out with his wings hitting Renjun to the ground.

All this just so he can steal more technology? his wings were basic enough, maybe he wanted to upgrade his suit, but what was the point of that if he would steal parts for the suit with the suit? Renjun felt like he would go crazy.

Out of nowhere, the weight on him disappeared and he stood up nimbly, looking immediately in the villain's direction, and what he saw made him see red, the villain blinking closer and rising into the air with a person in his arms.

And that person couldn't be anyone other than Donghyuck, because that was his luck.

He swung quickly and caught up with them, staying in the air at the moment when the vulture released Donghyuck, Renjun would not let him run away, he clung to him with a web and with the other grabbed Donghyuck, leaving him safely as close to the ground as he could, and stuck his feet to the wall of the building, exerting force and hitting the villain against the ground.

“Damn it!" the villain said between groans of pain getting up from the ground, Renjun got down and decided to end this quickly.

“What were you planning anyway? It was never going to work” Renjun said recovering his air, dodging the fist, and hitting him on the neck, taking the opportunity to tear off the mechanical wings.

“Hey! You're a dick” Renjun was fed up, he wrapped him in cobwebs, and covered his mouth, leaving only his nose uncovered.

"And you're not?" Renjun gasped in exasperation, his face was stinging with pain and he could taste the blood that fell on his lips "The police will come, stay there or I'll get even angrier" he ended up growling, listening to the man's annoyed whines.

Renjun turned to leave, it hadn't been the best day at all, it hadn't been the best week, he wanted to leave, go back home, and find a way to fix his nose.

“Hey, Spiderman! Did you forget something? Renjun turned to see Donghyuck, scowling and upside down, dangling from where Renjun had left him, his glasses about to fall off his head, Renjun crossed his arms and walked over.

"I don't think so" Renjun looked at Hyuck, his face being exactly at the same height, his hair disheveled and his suit messy, for some reason seeing him calmed Renjun down a bit "The police can take care of you too"

"Oh, come on! you can't leave me like this” Donghyuck grumbled and Renjun felt a smile grow on his lips.

"I think I can" he wanted to laugh but it hurt, so he simply settled for not letting his posture show that it had.

“I will write a good article about you,” Donghyuck asked him “Well, I don't think I can do that but at least a neutral one” Renjun took a breath as best he could, beginning to doubt.

"Why do you hate me in the first place?" Renjun said more softly, it was impossible not to feel conflicted, even if Donghyuck didn't know that he was under the mask.

"I don't hate you, it's just my job," Donghyuck said with a frown, clearly irritated that the superhero still had him upside down.

"The way you write about me, I'm sure you hate me" Renjun grumbled, he could feel his voice coming out a little different from the pain in his nose.

"Do you read my articles? You flatter me" Donghyuck said mockingly, Renjun grabbed his glasses when they were about to fall "Making a new one got me into this"

"I'll leave, good night" Renjun turned on his heel, regretting a little when he felt dizzy, but not enough when he heard Donghyuck's succession of complaints and whimpers.

“No! Ugh fine” Donghyuck snorted when Renjun turned back “I don't hate you, you're just extremely annoying”

"You're not helping your case," Renjun said pretending to look with interest at the glasses.

"You always reminded me of someone, okay?" Donghyuck admitted, stirring a little "Your stupid way of fighting, it looks a bit like the martial arts he studied, and the colors of your suit were his favorites, even your damn temperament reminded me of him" he said giving up "Is that enough? ”

"Do you hate who I remind you of?" Renjun couldn't stop his mouth from asking that, he wanted to know even though deep down he knew the answer.

“No! but it reminded me of everything I ruined" Donghyuck said and his expression changed, he whimpered again "I don't have to tell you this bug-man, please bring me down the blood is flowing to my head"

Renjun sighed and released him, picking him up in his arms, despite how weak he felt.

When Donghyuck was on the ground, he tried to fix his clothes and comb his hair, but it did little to improve his appearance, he roughly grabbed his glasses and put them on.

As Donghyuck approached him, wrapping his arms around his neck as Renjun grabbed his waist, Renjun felt a chill.

He froze for a couple of seconds, his heart beating madly in his chest, it had been so long but he felt the same, Renjun thought he could pass out at any moment, their bodies fitted just as he remembered.

Renjun felt a déjà vu, Donghyuck unnerved him, he seemed to notice the familiarity of his body because only muscle memory could make such a coordinated approach, old habits die hard indeed.

For Donghyuck to think so much and also manage to connect Spiderman and Renjun even without knowing it was completely terrifying.

And that neither of them had gotten over something that had happened years ago was confusing, and unfortunate, and it scared him, normal people don't hold on to memories for that long.

The sirens were heard in the distance and he looked one last time at the trapped villain, he grabbed Donghyuck more tightly by the waist and threw a web, taking off of the place.

But as he moved through the air, and with the added weight and occasional screams of Donghyuck, he soon lost to the pain, having to stop on the roof of a building and let go just to try to breathe.

"Are you okay?" Donghyuck said approaching him when he saw him stagger "Your mask is full of blood"

"I should have made the suit darker," Renjun said steadying himself, the pain was excruciating and he felt his eyes itch.

Renjun was about to lift his mask to try to breathe easier, but he was afraid that if he did, even if it was just his lips, Donghyuck might recognize him, and with everything he knew that was the most possible option.

"Hey, I think you should sit down" Donghyuck crossed his arms from his place, looking at him, and Renjun debated it for a couple of seconds until he sat down "That's a lot of blood for a nose, do you heal fast or is it a problem if someone doesn't attend to you right away?"

"Uh, this could be a bit of a problem," Renjun admitted, feeling a bit choked as he spoke as Donghyuck crouched down next to him.

"What do we do?" Donghyuck said with some annoyance "Raise this a bit... I swear I won't see your face" he brought his hand up to his face.

“No! don't do it” As a scared cat Renjun moved quickly, a bad decision that made him groan “Turn around”

Donghyuck looked at him in disbelief, rolled his eyes, and turned around, sitting behind him and leaning his back against his own, Renjun raised his mask and managed to take a breath with his mouth, his whole face hurt and the blood from his nose was already a little dry.

"Have you never broken your nose?" Donghyuck asked then, it was a strange situation "One would think it would be something common for Spiderman"

"I'm usually good at dodging blows to my face" Renjun answered sincerely, it was true, the moment his spider-sense worked best was when something went to his head.

After that they fell into silence, Renjun was slightly embarrassed knowing that his occasional groans while gently touching his nose were heard by Donghyuck who was silent behind him.

"You did that, didn't you?" Donghyuck said after a while, Renjun noticed that his hand was pointing to a place, and following him he looked at the mural he had made with chalk, he was surprised that it was still there "Why not just paint a real graffiti?"

"Because my anti-pollution message would be super effective if I use spray cans" Renjun answered by rolling his eyes, letting out a groan mid-chuckle.

For a couple of seconds, there was a bit more silence while Renjun still felt his head turn, the cold wind blew and he felt Hyuck throw his head back a bit, both of them still looking at the mural, it was the first time that silence did not feel uncomfortable.

"Even your drawings look like his..." Donghyuck whispered making Renjun alert, of course, Hyuck was one of the few who had access to his sketchbooks "I always thought I was crazy for comparing you, but the number of coincidences is kind of funny"

"Coincidences?" Renjun asked softly, he felt like he was going crazy, he couldn't stand it, he put his fingertips back on his nose and felt the swelling, oh that wasn't right.

"He was a nature nerd too," Donghyuck said with a calm tone "When we were seventeen he made me go to a protest, I don't even remember what it was, but he was happy"

He didn't know if it was because of the surroundings, or because Donghyuck could never talk about this with anyone and a masked man sounded like a good option, but after that, Hyuck just continued "My thoughts about him were always so overwhelming, they destroyed everything else and ever since then I thought I was crazy, but"

"But?"

"I saw him again and, I can't believe how I still... how I still feel so much, and it's horrible, because he doesn't want anything to do with me, and it's sick the way I still want to get close to him, it's like a new opportunity and…” Donghyuck took a breath "it doesn't matter"

Renjun listened as best he could, the sharp pain bothering him and being what took all his senses, the ceiling on which he was sitting began to move much more, his eyes watered.

"You know... the way you talk, by the time I had my sights on you I didn't think about his voice anymore, but hearing yours made me feel familiar," Donghyuck said with a chuckle and Renjun felt tears well up in his eyes, even as he changed his tone, Hyuck could tell "I always thought I was insane, but... now that I think about it better"

"Don't do it" Renjun was in distress, his breathing was faltering, but every time he tried to take a breath the pain ran through him, no no no, he repeated like a mantra in his head "Don't think"

"Oh God" he felt Donghyuck straighten up, separating their backs, he gasped in surprise, Renjun was not content.

"Shut up" Renjun forcefully closed his eyes feeling the tears running down his face and wetting his mask, none of this would have happened if he was stronger if he had dodged the blow and left Hyuck in his house.

"I can't believe it" Donghyuck separated and moved to his side, Renjun turned his head to the other side completely overwhelmed, Donghyuck knew it.

“You're an asshole” Renjun exclaimed stressed, he wanted to shrink and disappear, what was the point of being Spiderman if besides crying in pain from a blow, he wasn't that good at hiding his secret identity either “Please”

“Oh my God” Donghyuck exclaimed as if he was running out of breath, Renjun looked sideways as he raised his hands to his head, grabbing his disheveled hair, and then looked at him with wide eyes in surprise “Get up! Take that off and we'll go to a hospital."

“Don't tell anyone” was the only thing Renjun could say as Donghyuck stood in front of him and grabbed his arm to help him up.

"How could I," Donghyuck said uncomfortably, Renjun took off his mask, and even though Donghyuck knew it, he was surprised to see him, as if even until the last second he had been hoping that it wasn't really Renjun who was under the mask "come on"

Donghyuck didn't say anything else while everything happened.

It turned out that his accelerated recovery helped him and he no longer needed much, the nurse was confused by the blood on his face and the state of his nose because it didn't make sense, and it turned out that the stabbing pain he felt for so long was his nose putting itself in place, of course, the nurse didn't know this and just worked with what she had.

Renjun came out of there breathing easier and with an ice pack on his nose, walking silently next to Donghyuck, he didn't even have the heart to say anything, and they both just walked silently.

"I live here," Renjun said when they were in front of his building, he looked embarrassed at Donghyuck, that blow had him acting like a fool, and the whole situation... he hadn't handled it in the best way, just now realizing the gravity of the matter.

"I... I don't know what to say" Donghyuck admitted with a sigh, he put his hands in his pants pockets, Renjun didn't know what to say either.

"We can talk about it…" Renjun said a little slurred, feeling guilty and even a little hypocritical that now he's the one using those words for Donghyuck.

"It's late, I should go before-" Donghyuck started, but Renjun couldn't let him go, they had to get it over with, and solve their problems.

"Stay for tonight," Renjun said confidently, the reveal of his identity had been a bit underwhelming, Donghyuck must have too many thoughts and Renjun needed to listen to them.

"I don't…" Donghyuck searched for the words, looking in different places as if he were going to find them, and sighed, looking at Renjun "Okay."

Renjun didn't get too many visitors and it's fair to say that he was busy most of the time, but that didn't mean that his apartment was a total chaos.

Although he was a bit embarrassed by the mess there was, he didn't find it terrible, and to the naked eye, it looked even cleaner than one would expect.

Donghyuck tried to sneak a look at his apartment, glancing at things that caught his attention, all to delay the imminent conversation a little longer.

Renjun didn't quite know what to do, so he invited him to sit down while he put his suit in the washing machine before the blood on the mask dried even more and was harder to remove.

When he was back in his small living room, he sat at the other end of the couch, Hyuck had turned on the television at a low volume, surely to try to make the silences less uncomfortable, failing.

"Spiderman, he arrived three years ago…" Donghyuck started, Renjun not daring to look at him "Since then it's been you?"

"Is there another?" Renjun said trying to lighten the atmosphere with a mocking tone "I'm the one and only Spiderman, as far as I know," He heard Hyuck exhale slowly.

"This is too much," Hyuck said and when Renjun looked at him from the corner of his eye, he noticed that he had hidden his face in his hands "But it makes so much sense"

"I'm a little upset… how did you know so soon after we met?" Renjun said softly, again trying to lighten the atmosphere, this time succeeding a bit more, Hyuck looked at him with a tiny smile.

"Hey, I'm pretty smart" Hyuck defended himself, he seemed calmer, and Renjun felt a weight leave his shoulders.

"Maybe too much for your own good" he admitted returning the small smile, both of them relaxing on the sofa, looking into each other's eyes.

"Sorry," Donghyuck continued "I didn't know I wrote about you" and Renjun chuckled.

"It's okay" Renjun subtly turned a little to get a better look at Donghyuck, he never would have imagined it, Hyuck sitting on his couch next to him "Although I admit that some of them hurt a little"

"I wish I could tell you that I won't do it anymore but, it's my job," Donghyuck said with a grimace, and before he could stop himself Renjun had patted his shoulders with a soft casualness, Hyuck laughed, and kept his smile as he said "everything I said is true, by the way"

"I know" Renjun sighed and started fiddling with his hands a bit, slightly nervous, steeling himself to speak with how much sincerity he could bear "Forgive me too, I felt like I deserved some kind of compensation after you broke up with me but now it seems a little childish"

"Only a little?" Donghyuck said raising one of his eyebrows, without noticing it Renjun pouted a little, the little silence that settled this time didn't turn out to be uncomfortable "It must have been difficult, handling everything with that secret"

"Hum, I make it work" Renjun replied in a calm tone, but his slight nervousness wouldn't go away "Hyuck… I really, uh" he sniffed "After this, do you still want to start over?"

"Of course," Donghyuck answered quickly, turning a lot more to face him, surprising Renjun "I told you, everything I mentioned still stands, it's still true"

"Do you think I could be so selfish?" Renjun then asked, making a face and moving closer "I'm a superhero, am I allowed to?"

"You save lives all the time, I think you can be a little selfish from time to time" Donghyuck gently placed his hand on Renjun's, who felt what he had missed so much in the warmth of his skin, Hyuck looked at his determined eyes " I promise you that I will compensate you, you'll see, I will prove it to you"

"You better," Renjun said with a laugh, he didn't know he could feel like this, so light without being in the air, their hands joined and Renjun felt warm, looking closely at Donghyuck's beautiful face "And me too, what I felt for you always consumed me... and I won't be able to bear it if I lose you again"

"You won't" Donghyuck tightened his grip on his hands, Renjun smiled, unable to believe this was happening "God I hate that guy, your face is so messed up right now"

"You got confident fast," Renjun said changing his look and pulling away, sitting up straight on the sofa and listening to Hyuck let out a little groan "We still have to talk"

"Can I ask you something first?" Donghyuck said, Renjun narrowed his eyes at him and nodded "Your webs, there is an endless debate whether they come from your body or is it technology"

"My God" Renjun laughed, of course, Donghyuck would ask something like that, he sighed and raised his hand, made the gesture and the spider web fell from his wrist and stuck on his wall "Happy?"

"That's crazy," Donghyuck said in amazement at what he had just discovered, clearly wanting to touch his wrist, but he soon recovered and looked at Renjun seriously "Okay, let's talk"

Renjun smiled, he didn't know what he would think in the future, but this was definitely what he wanted now, to let Donghyuck into his life once more, for some reason, he trusted him.