Chapter Text
The wind bit at his skin as he walked. He was cold. He was hungry. He was tired. He hurt. He was… he was looking for something. There was something here. It was important. He knew it was important. It had been… there had been red on the white… speckles of them like the white on the black and they mattered. If he found the red, the cold would go away. But he… everything was fuzzy. There used to be warmth and noise and… dark, good dark, safe and he missed… he missed it. He was tired. His eyes were heavy. The red wasn’t here but it sort of- this was right. Safety was… here was safe.
Footsteps. Danger. He looked up and there it was, dark, good, safe, with the spiky ears and… Dad! Dad was here. Dad was here and Dad was safe and Dad made noises at him. He could sleep. Dad would keep him safe.
Dad hit the uncomfortable slab he was lying on and he looked at him. He didn’t know why Dad wasn’t letting him sleep. Dad moved his hands around then and he was cold and he reached for the cape. If Dad was going to annoy him, he was going to get the cape.
Dad took his hand and twisted around the stuck thing. If Dad was just going to pester him, he was going to keep trying to sleep until he got the message. Here was safe. Here was quiet. He wanted to sleep.
Dad stared at him so he half-watched back. He didn’t like people staring at him. That meant danger. That meant it would hurt. His hand hurt. But Dad wouldn’t hurt him. Dad made noise.
He yawned back. He wanted to go back to sleep. Dad had once dragged him out of bed and he’d clung to the sheets until they came off because Dad wanted him to go to the place with the lights and the metal and the teeth and he hadn’t wanted to go there.
Dad made more noise and then slowly started to move him. He didn’t get why Dad was being slow but Dad was warm and Jason managed to wrap the cape around himself so it pinned him down a little to Dad’s shoulder. And this was nice and comfortable.
He stirred again when Dad started moving him and he was being set down on one of the beds. Dad made more noises at him and he guessed it was sleep time but Dad was also wearing the cape which meant he wasn’t sleeping. But then Dad made him lie down and pulled the blankets over him and they were soft and warm and he’d missed things like this. He missed the shapes in the fuzz.
He watched Dad for a while, walking around the space and scribbling on paper. He really wasn’t sure what he was doing but he was in the cape so Jason should have been helping him. He stood up and approached and Dad didn’t acknowledge him. He tugged on the cape and Dad still didn’t look. He headbutted his elbow and now Dad was looking his way. He made noises. Then watched. Jason wasn’t sure what he was watching for. But then Dad took the cape off and put it on Jason and it was big and warm and smelt… it smelt bad. But it was Dad’s and Jason was wearing it and that was so cool.
He then noticed the water and it had been… his mouth was dry and his throat hurt and water was good. Water was really good. Dad grabbed his sports bottle that he used sometimes as Robin and filled it and handed it over. He then leaned into Dad’s side. He was glad that Dad was here. Dad had been gone a long time and Dad could fix the fuzz and get him home and then everything would be okay again.
Dad made noises at him and then kept fidgeting with the pen in his hand. Sometimes, Dad got really focussed on something and Jason had to do something to break that focus. He reached for the pen and Dad gave it over. It wasn’t fair that Dad was just ignoring him when he hadn’t seen him in… a long time. He’d been cold and scared and Dad wasn’t there and Jason didn’t… he’d remembered… Dad hadn’t been there. And now Dad was working and he was here and his head hurt and he wanted to go home. He threw the pen at the wall.
Dad made more noises and went and retrieved the pen.
Jason guessed that he’d have to wait for Dad to pay attention to him. He didn’t like it but Dad was here and here was warm and safe and he had water and those were all good.
Dad ruffled his hair and cringed and made more noises.
Jason wished Dad would stop making noises and fix this but Dad was weird and annoying sometimes. For the time being he rested his head against Dad’s leg so he couldn’t disappear again and started to fall asleep.
He woke up again when he heard something rustle and Dad had food and his stomach felt hollow and he’d… there’d been stuff but it was bad and green and wriggly and it had been like being small but worse because the places with the lights and the scary people and the food were all gone. He really wanted food.
Dad made more noises at him but he was carrying the food to the stove which hopefully meant that Jason would get to eat soon. He hoped that Dad had been managing to get food as well. But Dad was Dad of course he had food, he had the furniture that Mum could never own and Alfred, he paid Alfred to cook and clean and Dad could always get food.
The food smelt incredible and Jason reached for it but Dad caught him and carried him away. He wanted the food. He tried to climb down from the table again even though his leg hurt with the motion but then Dad handed him one of the lollipops they handed out when bad things happened. He then made more noises and Jason ate the lollipop. It had been way too long since he had something that tasted good. Last time… last time was with Alfred. He missed Alfred.
Dad then dished the food and Jason’s hands didn’t listen to him properly anymore and he kept dropping the food and that was bad and he’d have to struggle to get the food off the ground afterwards and then it would have bad stuff in it and Jason really did not want that. Dad then moved the bowl out of his reach and Jason really wanted the food. Even if he didn’t manage to get all of it, there was a hollow feeling in his stomach to the point it hurt and he was tired and he needed food. But then Dad started feeding him and that was kind of weird but had happened a couple of times when Jason had been really hurt. But Dad was taking it slowly and kept pausing to eat from his own bowl too and Jason was starving and he wanted the food now but Dad was slow.
Dad made more noises then but he kept feeding Jason. He didn’t feel like he was gonna… like he was gonna… blue sky, smoke, metal, hurt. Dad was here.
Dad started filling pots with water after that and Jason didn’t think he could drink that much water. The warm water smelt and felt nice too, when he uncurled his fingers fast enough it flicked out little drops that landed in tiny splashes.
Dad held out a cloth then, making more noise.
The cloth felt soft against his hands. He put it to his face. He liked soft things. The sofa here was soft.
Dad made noise and Jason made his way over to the sofa.
Dad then made more noises and led him back to the water.
Dad then got him out of his clothes and the clothes were cold and itchy and wet and Jason really hoped he wouldn’t have to wear them again after whatever Dad was doing. Dad then cut through his hair and the constant aching on his scalp started to go away. Jason relaxed into the action as Dad then started to use the warm water to wash where the hair had been. Dad was fixing things even if Jason wanted everything to make sense first.
Dad even got rid of the annoying face fur that Jason kept feeling. He hadn’t been able to get rid of it himself and it had been stubbly at first but now it was fuzzy and he hated it and it felt wrong to put his hand to his face and feel it be fluffy but now it was gone. Dad made noise then and he sounded kind of sad.
Jason glanced up and was suddenly met with eyes and they were Dad’s but there were also eyes and they burnt and he immediately looked away. When he was small, people used to constantly make him look at their eyes and it felt wrong, like there was too much going on and they were prying all the secrets out of his head and he couldn’t tell what was going on in their own. Dad only made him look at him when his eyes were hurt. Dad wouldn’t get angry that he was now looking at the floor.
Dad paused for a long time when he’d been using the cloth on Jason’s chest. Jason’s skin didn’t look right anymore. It had always been… he’d had different colours and lots of people had always winced or hugged him or been nice when they’d seen them. Now they were really bad and Dad was looking over them and Jason didn’t know where they came from. He shivered after a while though. The place was warm but he was getting cold.
Dad fetched more warm water and Jason missed… the water being warm and falling indoors and everything was fuzzy again and Dad was making noise and the awful sticky grime was going away and that was good. But he was still kind of cold. He reached for the cape again. The cape was warm.
Dad made more noise.
Dad brought over another bowl of warm water and Jason tipped it over his head so he was actually warm again, it splashed all over the room and Dad too, making a really fun noise. Dad grunted and fetched another before getting back to work. He spent a while looking at Jason’s hands and Jason hoped he’d do one of the things that would make the pain start to go away. Instead, he tried to straighten one of Jason’s fingers out and it really hurt and Dad was murmuring and Jason really hoped he’d be done with this soon.
He was, luckily. And he handed Jason some of his old clothes and they actually felt soft even if they didn’t really smell of anything anymore. Jason tried to work out how to get them on but there were too many parts and eventually Dad helped him with that too. He was finally warm and clean and full and he really wanted to curl up and sleep.
Dad was kneeling down to his height and it made Jason feel even shorter than he was. Dad did this with little kids and Jason was… Jason was practically an adult, why the fuck was Dad kneeling down to his height? Dad made a noise and it was familiar and meant something but he couldn’t find the meaning. Dad’s face was all he could see if he looked forwards so he looked around the rest of the room. He wanted to go home and he wanted to sleep and he wanted Dad to read him stories and he wanted to eat Alfred’s cooking and there was the place where… it had little tables and Jason would say things and the grown ups would say things back and he’d feel good and that was, that was home. He wanted to go home. He couldn’t get his teeth to sit comfortably and his hand moved to his mouth and the hoodie felt good between his teeth, he could tug his hand against the fabric and it would put pressure and it hurt in a way that stopped the needly pain.
Dad made the noise again and cupped his face so Jason had to look at him or the floor or the ceiling. He chose the ceiling. There were a lot of panels on the ceiling. Dad sounded sad and Jason didn’t know why he sounded sad. He’d found him again and that was a good thing and now Jason could go home. Jason really wanted to go home.
Eventually Dad stood up again and made more noises before picking up one of the water jugs. Jason guessed that because Dad still hadn’t taken the mask off that they had work to do. He wanted to go home but he guessed the work was really important. He picked up one of the water jugs too.