Actions

Work Header

ABCs (Ancillaries, Bots, and Constructs)

Summary:

Murderbot doesn't give a shit about the backgrounds of its various humans. Family structure, ethic structure, that sort of thing. It has more important things to worry about.

Except it turns out that Dr. Gurathin's backstory is way, way weirder than expected. And it's about to become VERY relevant.

Notes:

okay. okay okay OKAY for the record. i have actually normal Imperial Radch WIPs. no really. like one's about screening potential voluntary ancillaries. another is about about qven-reet.

but instead

INSTEAD

apparently i'm posting this stupid nonsensical crossover crack fic because someone brought it up and i got egged on

fuck you. fuck me.

enjoy.

Chapter Text

We were in some deep shit.

 

Like, seriously. I was missing an arm and my performance reliability was at 41.7%. A solid 20% of ART’s crew was in medical, and that number was probably going to get a hell of a lot higher soon, because there was hole in ART’s hull and something seriously wrong with its engines. While ART had a legion of drones working to fix both of those issues, if it didn’t get resolved soon then-

 

Well, I just had to hope it got resolved soon.

 

I was also on the hull, shooting frantically at the small shuttle ships that were zooming around us and taking pot shots. (ART’s pathfinders were pretty much useless at this range, so that meant it was up to me). I’m have fucking good aim, but even I am not used to fighting 3 spaceships in the void of space, and things were not looking good.

 

An old wave of despair was threatening to drown me, but I held it at bay with adrenaline and spite. I was not dying here. I was not letting ART and its crew die here.

 

And that’s when the other ship showed up.

 

It was massive.

 

Like, not only did it dwarf the ships attacking us, it dwarfed ART, and ART is not small.

 

These three ships were already pummeling us. This just seemed like overkill.

 

I was so distracted, one of the ships got a shot in. The blast didn’t hit me directly, but it hit ART’s hull, and sent me spinning off into space, the tether connecting me to snapping. The two of us barely had time for a couple last desperate pings- status, status- and then I was spinning, into the void, reaching uselessly out for ART’s hull-

 

But at least the smaller spaceships were leaving now, it looked like. Huh. I wondered why.

 

Disconnected from the primary oxygen supply and my performance reliability crashing along with the ambient temperature, my systems engaged into low energy mode.

 

Which meant I was only half aware as I began to get tractored in by the rapidly approaching larger ship.

 

It wasn’t a full shut down, though, more of an emergency hibernation, which meant I came fully back to myself pretty quickly. I was being hauled out of an airlock by two unknown augmented humans, wearing clothing in an odd mishmash of clothing- some pieces in a totally foreign style, others looking like something I could buy on Preservation station. “How many fingers am I holding up?”

 

“Fuck you,” I muttered.

 

“You’re fine,” said the second augmented human, who backed off a little.

 

I tried to get a hold of myself. They’d just been administrating a basic cognition test. As much as I enjoy being rude, that seemed like it might be counter-productive if these augmented humans were just trying to help.

 

Were they trying to help, though? On one hand, they’d fished me up before I could freeze in the void of space. On the other hand, they were the crew of a warship of unknown intentions that may or may not have been affiliated with the people who’d attacked us in the first place.

 

So, actually, no, I would be as rude as I liked.

 

“Oh calm down, I’m not here to hurt you,” said the first augmented human. I was poking tentatively around for a feed. I found one, but its architecture was weirdly structured, and as far as I could tell, no one had anything like feed IDs. I was going to have to rely on visuals. The first augmented human was dark skinned, broad shouldered, and had had a scar running down their left cheek. The second was lighter skinned with red hair.

 

“I have no reassurance of that,” I said. “Who are you? Did you attack our ship?”

 

The two augmented humans rolled their eyes in perfect synchrony.

 

That was… Creepy.

 

I must have flinched a little at that, because the augmented humans reacted. I couldn’t parse the reaction, exactly. Self-conscious? Uncomfortable? (That wasn’t fair. If anyone was uncomfortable here it was me.)

 

“I didn’t attack your ship, SecUnit. I scared the attackers away,” said the second augmented human. I noted the use of first person there- were they the captain?

 

“And then I rescued you,” said the second.

 

I was still trying to worm my way into the ship’s weird feed to get literally any intel I could. (This was difficult, because I was leaking inside my space suit and it was really distracting). “And why did you do that?”

 

Augmented Human One said, “Because Dr. Mensah and the others would have been pretty displeased if I let you die.”

 

My body had lost an alarming amount of blood, but what I had left ran cold. “How do you know Dr. Mensah?”

 

Augmented Human One sighed. Augmented Human Two pinched the bridge of their nose. Neither of these were particularly hostile gestures, but my threat assessment was still spiking. We were systems and systems away from Preservation space. There was no (good) reason I could think of that a random warship’s captain would know Dr. Mensah, and chances were high I was well on my way to becoming a political prisoner of some sort.

 

Also, yeah, I’d noticed they still hadn’t identified themselves.

 

When neither of the augmented humans had said anything for a full twelve and a half seconds, I repeated my first question: “Who are you?”

 

The two augmented humans steeled their shoulders, again in that weird synchronous way. It was the second one spoke: “Going by my original formal designation, I am Sword of Gurat Two Bo Three, but I much prefer Dr. Gurathin.”

 

My first instinct was to draw my weapons, but I managed to clamp down on my gun ports before they opened. This person obviously wasn’t Dr. Gurathin, but their name was somewhat similar to the full name/title that Gurathin had listed on his feed profile, even if there was basically no physical resemblance. The guy already disliked me enough, I didn’t need to go shooting a hole in his distant cousin’s shoulder. (Or, hey, maybe it was just a random other human with the same name. There are only so many to go around. Still best to be careful.)

 

This was usually the point where humans would be getting nervous. That’s a normal response to a cornered SecUnit considering if it should shoot you. Dr. Gurathin’s cousin and their associate just looked exasperated. “Please don’t make us do this whole thing again,” Dr. Gurathin’s-Possible-Relative said, waving their hand in a circular gesture.

 

Fuck, I didn’t have energy for this conversation right now. (Literally. I was in desperate need of a recharge cycle.) “Do what again?”

 

“The thing where we need to convince each other we’re trustworthy.”

 

It was taking all my effort now not to lean against the wall. This conversation wasn’t making any sense, probably because pain was starting to swarm my systems. “I’ve never met you before.”

 

At this point a couple of new augmented humans showed up with a medical gurney. One of them pointed at it, trying to encourage me to get on. No fucking way. Last thing I needed were strange, potentially hostile strangers attempting to sedate and operate on me.

 

“We do know each other, that is exactly my point,” Dr. Gurathin’s-Maybe-Relative said. (They certainly had the same Gurathin tone of voice.) “That’s why you need to trust me and let me take you to medical.”

 

“No,” I said. Something wet and acidic dripped down the back of my leg. “Let me contact my ship, I will receive medical treatment there.”

 

“It will take nearly an hour to get to ART, and its MedBay must be overloaded anyway.”

 

I didn’t care about that. I cared about how these strangers knew my nickname for The Perihelion.

 

One of the augmented humans tried to grab me and pull me towards the gurney. They were unexpectedly fast. I pushed away, hard, with my remaining arm, and they backed off.

 

“Please, SecUnit,” they said. I glared.

 

Then, finally, I made contact with the ship’s feed.

 

Or rather, the ship’s feed made contact with me.

 

It was like a window opening up, a rush of air surrounding me as a panoramic view unfolded. The sensation of a mind, much much large than me, suddenly pulling me into its grasp. The realization that I was in the gravity well of something so enormous that I had no hope of escaping it against its will. It was a feeling I had experienced once before, when I had first met ART.

 

Before I had a chance to panic about that, the ship spoke, its booming voice weirdly familiar in a way that was impossible to describe: For once in your life, SecUnit, stop being a stubborn asshole, and listen to me. I. Am. Doctor. Gurathin.

 

And that was the point when my system crashed.