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“You know, Mike, I kind of think you’re the last person she wants to see right now,” Sam shoves past the group, returning inside, and Mike follows.
Something has curled up in his chest, pushing on his ribs, an unfamiliar feeling. “Look, I know I fucked up, but we can’t just let those two run out into the snow like that!” he says, but the words feel like ash in his mouth.
“Yeah, duh, that’s why I’m going out there.” Sam is tugging on a jacket, already halfway out the door again.
“Oh, come on, you guys. She shouldn’t have run out in the first place,” Jess flips a braid over her shoulder, brushing past the two, back into the warmth of the lodge.
Emily, leaning on the wall by the door, says, “It’s her own fault if something happens.”
Mike’s head whips around. “Emily!” he snaps, and then has to bite back his words as the curling in his chest winds up his throat.
She looks down, running a hand through her hair, before muttering, “Well fuck, Mike! The way you hang off of her all the damn time, what am I supposed to think?”
Jess shoves a finger into Mike’s chest suddenly, pushing him back a step. “Look, I’ve seen you two, and I don’t know if you’ve got something going on, but I thought this prank would prove that you didn’t give a fuck about her.”
“Yeah, well--” They’re all watching him, but he doesn’t know what he means to say. He does hang around Hannah a lot. They play video games together and she kicks his ass, and she always laughs when he gets scared during horror movies. She always texts him back, even at 2 in the morning--especially at 2 in the morning, when he can’t sleep and college is looming ever closer and family politics have him on edge. She sends him cat pictures and he sends her Shrek memes and the next day she’ll punch him on the shoulder, lightly, smiling in spite of her ranting. She draws little cartoons of everyone, and he’s kept every single one she’s given him, tucking them into his textbooks so he’ll see them in class and think of her and have something to smile about. “--shit!”
Mike looks around, realizing suddenly that Sam is already gone. Cursing again, he sprints out the door and into the snow, Emily’s shouts echoing after. The winding guilt in his chest has only gotten worse.
~
Four figures appear on the dark path ahead of him, and he picks up the pace. He doesn’t know who the bulky figure is--a ranger, perhaps. But he knows the other three, and he picks Hannah out easily, her long hair swirling with the snow.
When she recognizes him, she stops abruptly, hands going to her chest, letting the others get ahead, letting them get between her and him. They notice him too, and though he hears Sam and Beth call his name, he barrels through them without a word.
Hannah screams, “Michael!” as Mike picks her up by the waist, crushing her to him.
A rush of words leaves his mouth before his brain can catch up. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, I almost lost you, I’m so fucking stupid, I’m sorry.”
“Michael?” She struggles, and after slapping his shoulder a few times, he finally lets her down, but he immediately puts his hands on her face, on her shoulders, trying to make sure she’s alright, that she’s unhurt. “Michael? Holy crap, dude, calm down!” She’s frowning, but the corners of her lips twitch.
“God, I’m so glad you’re okay, and I’m so fucking sorry. I know, I fucked up, and I just--fuck! Please don’t hate me, I didn’t want them to know how I felt and --”
“What?”
“--I thought if I just did the prank they’d leave you alone after that, but I didn’t realize how much it would hurt you--”
“Michael, chill out!”
He realizes he’s squeezing her shoulders, and one of her hands is gripping his, startlingly warm.
“Hey, what did you just say?”
“That I- I think I- I just-”
“Woah, calm down cowboy.” Hannah drags one of his hands off her shoulder, rubbing it between her palms. “Remember, deep breaths, like we talked about.”
He copies her breathing, the familiar way she says his whole name easing the winding in his chest.
“I’m still pissed, by the way,” she says into the silence between them. She’s not looking at him now, nose scrunched up. “That was cruel. God, Mike, that was bad, even for you.”
“I know,” he says, and though he was calm a moment ago, his heart is suddenly slamming painfully. He feels everyone else’s eyes on him, but he can’t stop now. Not when he almost lost her once tonight. “I know, and it’s even more messed up, because I was just doing it-- I was just doing it to cover for my own feelings. I really like you, Hannah. And I understand if you don’t feel the same. After what happened. What I did. But, yeah.” He swallows around the sandpaper dryness in his mouth.
Hannah’s hands have stilled around his, her knuckles white and nails pricking his wrist.
“Don’t mess with me. Not again.” She drops his hand, stuffing them in her pockets, shoulders tensing as she stares hard at the ground.
He wants to tell her, “I’m not.” He wants to say, “I think I love you.”
Instead, Mike wraps his arms around her shoulders, gently this time, and brings his face close to hers, breath fogging the air between. Her mouth trembles minutely, and she makes a noise somewhere between a gasp and a squeak.
“I’d like to kiss you, if that’s alright?”
She grabs his face, pulls him to her laughing mouth, and he goes, their lips brushing as his hands catch in her hair
Someone behind him huffs, but two more voices shush it quickly.
Hannah pulls away first, hands finding his again, warm fingers sliding between his.
“I’m still pissed,” she says, but her smile belies her words.
“Think I can make up for it?” he asks lightly, but the guilt in his voice must be too apparent, because her hands finds his face, thumb brushing over his cheekbone.
“I’ll think of something.”