Chapter Text
Full discloser, I am an American, so if the brit talk is not that good my bad, spoilers for good omens season 2
Crowley slammed the door to his Bentley closed, If Aziraphale didn’t need him, he didn’t need Aziraphale. He rummaged around his Bently to find a bottle of whisky, which was not too hard since he had been living in it for quite some time now.
He slammed down half the bottle, started his car up and started to drive. He didn’t know where he was going, but he didn’t care, he just had to get away from that retched bookshop. He finished the bottle, grabbing another from the floor, not slowing down as he did.
He continued to speed down the road, 70 km/h, 80 km/h 90 km/h. Faster, faster and faster. He finished the second bottle of whisky, grabbing a third. He didn’t care that it was dangerous, he just wanted the pain to go away.
The Bently went faster and faster down the road. 100 km/h, 110 km/h, 120 km/h 130 km/h, Crowley knew it was not safe driving this fast while drunk, but he didn’t care. He started chugging the third bottle of whisky, no longer watching the road. He finished the bottle, looking back at the road, just in time to see the large oak tree he was quickly approaching, but no time to swerve.
Everything went black, he opened his eyes, and he was back in the bookshop, staring at Aziraphale.
“Oh Crowley… I don’t… I can’t… You’re a demon Crowley, and I’m an angel. I could never love you like that.” What? Why would his Angel say something like that? Did he say that before? His memory was fuzzy, he couldn’t remember.
“Aziraphale…” Crowley looked in his angels’ eyes, but Aziraphale would not look into his.
“I don’t love you Crowley, and ill never love you.” Aziraphale’s words were like a knife stabbing into his heart. After everything they had been through, he was so sure that… Crowley walked up to Aziraphale and pulled him into a kiss. Maybe he could make Aziraphale see how much he loved him…
Aziraphale pulled out of the kiss, bewildered. “I forgive you”. Those words stung more than Holy water ever could. His Angel didn’t love him, never had, and never would. The world shattered around him like broken glass, after everything they had been through, the millennia they had been together. It all meant nothing to Aziraphale.
“Don’t bother” Crowley growled, as he stormed out of the bookshop.
Everything went black again, Crowley could hear sirens and voices around him, he weakly opened his eyes, and saw paramedics around him.
“he’s awake! Sir, are you ok? It’s a miracle you were not hurt, someone must be looking out for you upstairs.” The Demons stood up from the ground to see his Bentley, which was now destroyed, he looked up at the sky and screamed.
He started walking down the road in the direction of his old flat. “sir, you should really go to the hospital, we need to check to see if you have any internal injuries!” Crowley just turned and snarled at the paramedics, and continued his way, before briefly pausing, snapping his fingers, causing all the paramedics on scene to die instantly.
No one was here to tell him to be good anymore, so why should he even try? He was a demon after all, and he should embrace it! Why should he care about anyone else when it was clear no one cared about him. His plants were gone, his Bently was destroyed, and his angel choose heaven over him, so he was done caring about others.
He walked into the nearest liquor store and miraculously the cashier was no where to be seen, so he grabbed a shopping basket, filled it with the strongest liquor, and walked out. As he made his way to his old flat, many people he knew asked if he was ok, resulting in a quick hiss, or growl from him to make them leave him alone.
When he arrived at his flat, the door had miraculously been left unlocked, so he just walked in, and laid on the floor, not even attempting to try to make it to the couch. He didn’t care, he just wanted to drink until he forgot everything that happened that night. Why did he ever think that he was worthy of love, and from an angel? Why did he have to be so stupid.
Crowley didn’t know how long it had been, days? Weeks? Moths? He didn’t care. He spent his Days sleeping, his nights drinking, and told anyone off who came near him. He didn’t want help, he wanted to wallow. Maybe he could spend the next century sleeping.
He heard a knocking at his door but ignored it. Maybe if they thought no one was home they would go away. The knocking persisted.
“Mr. Crowley! I know you are in there” Crowley recognized the voice to be Muriel’s immediately. Great, another angel for him to deal with just what he wanted. “Mr. Crowley I’m sorry to intrude, but please I need your help” The angel called out again.
‘I need your help’ His angel asked for help many times and he always did. Helped him with anything he needed.
“Go away” Crowley slurred out.
“Mr. Crowley, you have been in this flat for 3 weeks and have not left, and I need your help. There is this group of humans that keep coming to Mr. Fells bookshop and stealing books, but I can’t ever catch them.”
“What?” Crowley snarled. How dare humans steal from him his angel’s bookshop? Crowley opened the door to see Muriel standing right outside. “we going to the bookshop now” Crowly hissed pulling Muriel right behind him.
When they walked outside, miraculously there was a taxi right sitting there waiting, Crowly got in the back and dragged Muriel in. “Drive us to Mr. Fells bookshop” Crowly growled, and sat silently the rest of the ride, staring daggers out the window.
They arrived at the bookshop, and the cab driver ended up not needed payment, how lucky. Crowley stormed out, and opened the door that was unlocked. No wonder it kept getting robbed.
“You keep it unlocked?”
“Well, people know better to not steal, stealing is a sin, so that usually deters them.” Crowly pulled his hair and groaned.
“You are on earth now, most humans don’t care if it’s a sin, they will lie, steal, and kill. You can’t be so trusting!”
“I’m sorry Mr. Crowley.” Muriel said meekly.
“Don’t bother apologizing, ill fix this, then we are going to have a little conversation of what else you have been doing or not doing.” The demon saw movement in the corner of his eye, and quickly stormed over to it, leading him to a group of teenagers.
“Do you know who you have been stealing from?” Crowley snarled, shoving one of the teens into a wall.
“Some chump that leaves his door unlocked” The teen said smugly.
Crowly ripped off his glasses, revealing his snake-like eyes. “You have messed with the wrong bookshop, now you will return home, and bring back every book you have taken, do I make myself clear” Crowly hissed out.
The teens’ eyes grew wide. “w-what are you” One of them said shakily.
“Your worst nightmare, now go quickly, if the books are not back by sundown, you won’t be around anymore to steal anything else” The demon threw the teen onto the ground. The teens ran out of the bookshop, scared out of their mind.
Crowley brushed his hands together and turned back to Muriel. “Alright, what else have you been doing while I was… away.”
“Well, I’ve been selling books of course! This is a bookstore. And the Metatron put me in charge of it! Me!”
Crowley groaned. “You’ve been selling the books? Ack. No you don’t sell the books!” Crowley rubbed the
bridge of his nose to chase off an oncoming headache.
“But it’s a bookstore, and store are supposed to sell things, right?”
“Not this store! Do you have any records of the books that you sold?”
“Records? Why would I need records of books we don’t have anymore?”
“Ah Satan let’s hope you didn’t sell anything too important then. Rule no. 1 of running this place. Don’t sell anything! Understand?”
“yes Sir Mr. Crowley sir!”
Crowley looked at Muriel, and actually looked at them really for the first time, noticing what they were wearing.
“What in bloody hell are you wearing that for” Crowley snarled. Muriel’s outfit looked almost identical to the one Aziraphale would always wear, except they brandished a different colored shirt, which was purple.
“Well, Mr. Fell always wore outfits like this, so I assumed that all human bookshop owners dressed like this” Muriel said smiling. Their smile hurt Crowley; it reminded him so much of Aziraphale.
“They don’t” growled Crowley.
The door opened, a slight chime from the bell above went off.
“we’re closed, don’t come back ever” Crowley hissed.
“Oh, Mr. Crowley, we heard the unfortunate news. I am so sorry.” It was the neighbor Maggie who had walked in, she was carrying a box of baked goods.
“Things happen life goes on, now if you will please leave—” Crowley was cut off.
“it must be so hard for you to lose some so close to you so fast, he didn’t even look ill last time we saw him—”
Crowley froze. Did she say ill? What has Muriel been telling people? Crowley decided to just go along with it.
“Yes, life happens, death is inevitable and inescapable and could catch you at any minute. Memento mori and such, now please leave I wish to grieve alone with…” Who did they think Muriel was to Aziraphale?
“Yes yes, just brought over some baked goods for Muriel. It must be so hard losing their father so suddenly.”
Crowley pauses and looks at Muriel, who then looks back at him giving him an ‘I don’t know’ look.
“Yes, we are all mourning Mr. Fells death, but we wish to be in peace.” Crowley grabs the box of baked goods from Maggie's hands, and shoves her out the door, closing and locking it.
“What exactly have you been telling people when they ask where Aziraphale went?” Crowley growled.
“Well, the truth of course! I tell them he went to heaven to be an archangel!”
Crowley stared blank faced at Muriel…
“Muriel… You have been telling people that Aziraphale is dead?”
“No, I've been telling them he went to be an archangel in heaven silly!”
Crowley practically faces palms, at least they now have a cover story of why he just disappeared so suddenly.
“When a human tells another human that someone went to heaven to be an angel, that typically means that the human they are speaking of is deceased. You have been telling people that Aziraphale died” Crowley explains calmly, trying not to yell.
“Oh, that would explain why everyone was apologizing to me! Silly humans, I'll just explain the mix-up—”
“No no, no, you can’t do that now! Everyone here believes Aziraphale is dead, so it needs to stay like that. Humans don’t just rise from the dead. And what was that bit about you being Aziraphale’s child?”
“Oh, I’m not sure. when people first started asking who I was, I just told them I was Muriel, and I own the shop now. The silly humans must have just assumed I inherited the Bookshop from Mr. Fell.”
“First rule of being human, don’t call the humans ‘human.’”
“But they are humans.”
“Yes but no one says that! They call each other people.”
“If you say so Mr. Crowley! I want to learn all about the people here on earth, they are all so interesting, and they are all so unique!”
Muriel smile practically lit up the room, Crowley remembered when he was still learning about humans, they were such interesting little creatures, and he got to experience it all with Aziraphale… Crowley felt a strange urge to protect Muriel, she felt precious to him, she looked so fragile.
“Well, you could start learning about humans by reading some of these books, I don’t want you leaving this bookshop until you can act more… natural around the humans understand?"
“Yes sir Mr. Crowley sir!”
Muriel saluted and made their way over to the large selection of books, Crowley really didn’t care if the humans thought they were strange or weird, he just didn’t want Muriel going anywhere he wasn’t. Muriel picked out a book about astronomy.
“Everything you would ever need to know about stars” it was quite a nice book, Crowley wasn’t one for books, but he had read every book Aziraphale had about the stars. Oh, how Crowley loved the stars, what he would give to be among them again with… No, he was not going to think about Aziraphale again. He left; he was gone. It was over. No point in thinking about what could have been.
Crowley watched as Muriel’s eyes lit up as they read the book. He smiled. Crowley remembered the first time he saw the stars. It was when he first created them, around 6000 years ago. It brought him so much joy to see all his hard work finally come together, and its beauty was immaculate. Nothing compared to what he could see now from earth.
Muriel not only reminded him of Aziraphale, but of an older version of himself, a version that died when he fell, and his ability to see the stars in their full beauty was stolen from him. When Crowley fell, God thought it was a fitting punishment to never be able to see the full beauty of the stars again by giving him snake eyes. His eyes made it impossible to see any color but blue or green, but they made special glasses to fix that now.
Crowley walked over to Muriel and ruffled their hair. He couldn’t leave them here on their own. They would get themselves discorporated, or worse. No, they needed someone to protect them, and that someone was him. No harm would come to his little angel.