Chapter Text
Music flowed through Neku’s headphones as he drew a pen across his tablet screen. A thick line here, a red splotch there… He had the idea solid in his head, but getting it concrete took trial and error. Even so, this wasn’t a challenge he could back down from—not when his girlfriend’s current favorite band had commissioned him for an album cover.
Listening to their tunes helped. They were quick and catchy with bold and powerful lyrics. Typical for Shiki’s taste in indie music. And his, too, really. If he could just bring those beats to life with his colors, then he was already a good chunk of the way there. He’d studied their previous albums, too, eager to bring a unique flavor to a new piece while still painting it in his own style. But after a few years of doing commissions like this, that part honestly wasn’t hard.
The hard part was making sure he was satisfied with it. Neku held his tablet back as he inspected the canvas, a frown heavy on his face. Something still seemed off about it… but he couldn’t put his finger on what.
He stretched his arms, careful not to disturb the sleepy cat that’d chosen to sleep in his lap. His muscles were aching. He didn’t realize he’d gotten so cramped. His legs were spread out across the bed, but that didn’t save him from feeling stiff. What time was it, anyway?
Reaching for the nightstand next to him, Neku fished for his purple phone. The minutes bright on his lock screen were inching dangerously close to midnight. Guess he’d been at this for a few hours now. The light from the lamp next to him staved off the darkness that’d crept into the room, swallowing up the two matching dressers and closet door.
And he wasn’t about to change it. On the contrary, he saved and closed out of his drawing app, turning the device off before setting his pen back in its holder. If the dark wanted to come, so be it—at least he wasn’t alone…
Wait.
He glanced down at the empty pillow next to him, the green sheets still pristine from when Shiki had fixed the bed up this morning.
It was almost midnight… yet Shiki still hadn’t joined him in here. That was weird, even for her.
It wasn’t like this was his first time working late into the night. Usually, she’d come settle in bed by ten-thirty or eleven, cuddling up next to him. But tonight, she’d also gone straight back to working after dinner, eager to get samples ready for Gatto Nero’s new cherry blossom collection, despite the fact that she was supposed to take this week off.
Funny, though. Neku didn’t hear the sewing machine going in the next room over… Was she done? He scooped up their cat Nanako, ignoring her weak protests as he placed her back on the blankets. He then stood as the kitty laid her head down, ready to sleep with or without her humans. Hopefully with soon, once Neku figured out where the hell Shiki was.
He hung his headphones around his neck, the music muted from the distance, as he headed out of their bedroom. Ever since Shoka moved out, Shiki had expanded her workspace to the spare room, giving her all the space she needed to focus on sewing. He sometimes used it, too, when his work required more spray paints than pencils, but most of the time, it was Shiki’s sanctuary.
The door was closed—like usual when she worked. Nanako had tried playing with the threads and fabric a few too many times when Shiki was in a sewing frenzy.
Neku tapped his fist lightly against the door before easing it open. “Shiki?”
The room was still lit, her fabric scattered everywhere. She hadn’t even started cleaning up, the scraps she’d cut away still tossed aside in a neat little pile she hadn’t sorted through yet. Some black shirts and skirts were splayed across the floor, surfaces—whatever she could find to keep them pinned together and ready to sew. They each had a pattern next to them to show the final design she and Eri had come up with, almost like a museum of unfinished outfits right here in her workroom.
As for Shiki herself, she sat in her usual spot. Well, ‘sat’ was being generous—more like she’d slumped over, her head on the desk and her current project clutched tight in her hands. Her eyes were closed, too, her mouth slightly ajar as she dozed next to the sewing machine.
It was still on, too. Not running, luckily. Her foot had just narrowly missed the pedal. But the light coming from it didn’t make Neku feel any more at ease. He walked over, flipping the switch to turn it off with one hand while his other rested on her shoulder. “Hey, Shiki…”
He blinked. Her eyes weren’t just closed—they were wet. Tears clung to her lashes, glistening as they rolled down the slopes of her cheeks.
Neku bit his lip as he gently shook her. “Shiki, wake up… It’s okay.”
His mind reeled as he watched her slowly stir. What happened? Was she okay? It didn’t look like she hurt herself with her needles, at least…
“N…Neku…?” she whispered as she opened a tired eye. A tiny flash caught his attention, and he quickly worked to remove a pin that’d gotten tangled in her hair.
“Hey… You okay—”
She flung her arms around him before he could finish, squeezing him like her life—and his—depended on it. That hug answered his question without the need for any words. She was trembling, her grip holding him tight so he wouldn’t leave. She buried her face in his shoulder, and he could feel her tears seeping through his PJs.
“I’m here, Shiki,” he cooed as he wrapped his arms around her. She still wasn’t calming down, though. She just gripped his clothes tighter, a small whimper coming from deep inside her. “Come on, talk to me…”
She tried—that much, he could tell. A few incoherent attempts came from her petite frame, but nothing he could make sense of. He had to help her somehow—he had to break her free from her nightmare, ground her back in reality.
Between her labored breaths, he heard a few high notes escape his headphones.
Right. He still had that.
Slowly, he let go of Shiki, just enough so he could raise his hands up to his neck. He removed the headphones from it, easing them down over her ears instead.
He felt Shiki’s eyelashes blink against his shoulder. He held her again, rubbing her back as the music filled her ears. It took time, but her trembles finally began to subside, and her fingers relaxed, still caught up in the folds of his shirt.
“S…sorry…”
“It’s okay,” he murmured right back. After giving her one last pat, he slipped one arm under her legs, scooping her up out of her chair. “C’mon, let’s go sit somewhere more comfortable.”
Shiki nodded, settling against him. The slow heaves of his chest as he carried her from one room to the next seemed to help more, and she closed her eyes, nestling closer towards his heartbeat.
Upon making it to the couch, Neku gently set her down. Taking the spot next to her, he wrapped an arm around her, stroking her arm with his thumb. “I’m here whenever you’re ready to talk, okay?”
Shiki hesitated. But she wasn’t one to give up—especially not on communicating. Her slight nod before she leaned into him asked for a minute first, and he was more than willing to give that to her.
They sat in silence, the music from his headphones saved for Shiki’s ears alone. Moonlight filtering through their wide window washed over Shiki’s hair until it turned silvery, the city lights threading with the shadows of their apartment to form countless illuminated designs. Shiki watched them dance from corner to shelf as she breathed in deep, her cadence soon mirroring Neku’s.
“Want me to get you anything?” Neku asked.
Shiki nuzzled him. “No, just… stay here with me…”
“Alright…” Neku relaxed back against the couch, content with just holding her for however long it took. She’d have done the same for him—in fact, she had plenty of times in the past. It took some time to get used to opening up again after his return from the far too isolated city of Shinjuku, but after years of dating her, leaning on her, being there for her… Neku and Shiki had both learned how to support each other when life became too much to bear alone.
Eventually, Shiki slipped the headphones off her ears. “I had a horrible dream.”
That much was already obvious, but Neku bit his tongue instead of calling her out on it. Much as he loved poking fun, that wasn’t what she needed now.
“I get bad dreams a lot, actually… Back before the Game, they were about petty things, like comparing myself to Eri. But you know, that night—the night before I died? I dreamed about it… about falling into an infinite abyss…”
“By… falling?” Neku knitted his eyebrows.
“That’s how I died… I was up above the Station Underpass with Mr. Mew,” she said, her hands searching the couch for her doll. But he wasn’t over there. He was on Neku’s side. Shiki’s head drooped when she realized.
Unlatching his arm from her, Neku scooped up her brave piggy warrior. He dangled Mr. Mew in front of his face and, in an impression so dorky it made him blush in embarrassment, uttered, “Cheer up, Shiki. I’m here with you.”
Good thing the doll was blocking his view. His ears burned as he waited for Shiki’s reaction.
“Thanks, Mr. Mew,” she murmured, taking the doll off his hands. She sniffled, wiping her eyes before cupping a hand around one of his red ears. “You, too, Neku.”
“Y-yeah, just, uh… right, the story.”
Shiki hugged her doll as she settled back into it. “Like I said, we were up above the Station Underpass, and then… a gust of wind blew him off the rail, and I jumped up to grab him. But I slipped, and in the split second I could’ve saved myself instead of him, I hesitated… and fell.”
Neku frowned. Come to think of it, she never talked about that in too much depth—just said that she’d died in some accident… He watched Shiki hug her precious doll. She wasn’t the worst with heights. Far from it in the heat of battle. But every now and then, they’d get to her. Like the time they visited Shibuya Sky, she’d been so enamored by the breathtaking sights at first, but after the awe wore off, she’d backed away to clutch Neku’s arm. She’d played it off then, saying that she’d just gotten a little woozy when she realized how high up they were… and now he understood why.
“Then when you died again, it was more of a bad feeling, but… after you disappeared, I had so many nightmares about it. About where you were, how you were doing—of you being attacked by Noise… Or sometimes, it’d be trouble here. A deal for our brand going bad right before we hit a snag, or even one right before Beat got pulled into the UG again…”
Well, yeah, he had more than his fair share of struggles against the Noise in Shinjuku, so those dreams made sense. But for the rest, and for her bad feeling before, they were a little too on the nose.
“So… You’re saying your bad dreams usually lead to something?”
“Sometimes… but not always,” Shiki said. “There was also the time I had a dream that we missed out on the open spot in 104, but then we got it instead. Or the time I dreamed about Eri getting in an accident on her way home when she worked late one day, so I asked her to walk home with me instead, and everything turned out fine…”
“It’s hit or miss, then?” Neku studied her. “What about the one you just had?”
Shiki twitched. She buried her head in Mr. Mew’s plushy back, her words barely audible. “I… hope it’s a miss.”
The trembling came back in full force. Damn, did it shake her up that much?
“You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want,” Neku murmured, rubbing her back some more. “I don’t want to dredge up anything bad…”
“N-no, it’s okay…” Shiki took another deep breath. “We agreed a while ago that we’d talk through anything—and work out our troubles together…”
“It doesn’t have to be now if you’re not ready for it… I don’t want you stressing yourself out.”
“I’m fine, really.” Shiki lifted her head to look at Neku. “I can talk about it, if you’re okay listening…”
“‘Course I am,” he replied. “Can’t say I’m as good a listener as you, but I’ll give it a shot.”
Shiki winced at that wording. That was as good a hint as any on what this particular dream was about.
“…Does it have something to do with how I got shot?”
“Kinda… more like what happened after it.”
“You mean how I was gone for three years?”
She nodded again, her chin on Mr. Mew as she cradled him close to her body. “Except… in this dream, you didn’t come back…”
Neku followed her eyes as they drifted to their black TV screen. She didn’t even seem to take in their reflections on it, her gaze too far off, too sad to really comprehend them.
“It started off the same as everything else. Beat got dragged to the UG, and we met up with him and the Twisters to save Shibuya. But this time, I didn’t sense you… and even when I asked Beat about it, he said he couldn’t find you there. You were just… gone. Forever.”
Neku waited for Shiki to continue, his free hand slowly taking one of hers as another reminder that he was here with her.
“Gatto Nero got more and more popular, but you weren’t there to share it with me. And I hated how everyone was just moving on with their lives. I started getting jealous again—at my friends when they started dating, but it was worse than before, ‘cause I knew I couldn’t have that… I didn’t want to have it if you weren’t there…”
“Shiki…”
Her tears dripped down onto Mr. Mew, soon disappearing into his fabric.
“I told myself when we won our week that I wouldn’t be that person again. That I’d use my jealousy to give myself something to shoot for. But in the dream, I lost that. I just got bitter instead. I was no better than the me you first met.”
Neku’s hand gripped her damp one tighter, but even he couldn’t stop her from shaking. “You are better than that, though… You waited those three years for me, and even became a designer, just like you said you would…”
“That’s because I still had hope. I knew you’d return someday. It still hurt, knowing I couldn’t find you, or even talk to you somehow… but deep down, I knew you’d come back.” Shiki hiccupped as she tried in vain to wipe the tears away. “But the me in that dream had already lost that hope. I couldn’t feel you coming back anymore, and I knew that I’d just be alone forever…”
Her hand squeezed Neku’s as she pressed against his shoulder, tears streaming down her face. “I don’t think I could live like that again—to not have you here with me, knowing you won’t come back… I…I don’t want to lose you, Neku…”
Neku pulled her close. “I know… You won’t, though. I’m here with you, and I’m not going anywhere.”
“B-but some of my dreams actually happen. S-so what if tomorrow… you’re shot again…”
“Then I won’t stop. Not ‘til I make it back to you,” Neku said. “I’ve promised you before, haven’t I? That I’ll always find my way back.”
“I-I know, but…”
“Shiki, listen to me…” Neku moved to rest his forehead against hers. Her bangs wove between his, tickling their noses alongside their breaths. “I promised you forever, and I’m gonna keep that promise. Even Josh himself couldn’t stop me. I’ve been to hell and back, and I’ll do it all again if I have to.”
That quieted her down, and she stared back at him with those quivering brown eyes.
“You know as well as I do that I don’t ever want to go back there… and I’m gonna fight as hard as it takes to keep this life I have.”
“I know… It’s not like you’ve had it easy, either…”
Neku moved his forehead away from hers, instead embracing her as she cuddled up to his side. The floral shampoo she loved so much, one that reminded him of visiting Hachiko in the spring, ravished his senses as he idly played with her short strands. He’d told her all about his own nightmares in the past—even before he moved in with her, she somehow always just knew when something was wrong, calling him up even in the dead of night to check on him.
“I haven’t… But I guess the difference there is that in my dreams, I always had hope,” he said after a minute. “Hope that I’d get back if I just kept fighting. And sure, it felt like it’d never end half the time, but I knew you were here waiting for me.”
Shiki glanced up at him. “Was that enough, though…?”
His fingers drummed against her arm as he thought back to it. Just when he thought he’d told her everything about Shinjuku, too, guess he’d forgotten to go over some of his worst feelings there.
“Well… When I first got there, I was livid. Wondered why the hell I was sucked back into things. I hated it. I cursed my luck, and I didn’t know what I did to deserve that. Every day, I tried to bust out. And when nothing worked, I yelled at the sky to tell off Josh for sticking me there.” He reached over to tap his headphones. “So, to cope… I put these back on for a while. Used my music to calm myself down… and I drew you, Beat, Rhyme—even Josh in a sketchpad I found. That helped keep me focused, ‘cause I knew I wanted to see you again. No matter how hard it was, no matter how long it took… I wanted to see you again.” Neku moved his hand up to her cheek. “And that kept me moving…”
“Neku…” She placed her hand over his, closing her eyes. She gripped it, like begging him to hold her tighter—and he was happy to comply.
“I thought about everything I’d missed sometimes, too, especially once I realized it’d been over a year. I wanted so bad just to know what your lives were like. If you and Eri had designed anything cool, if Beat had gotten in trouble for skating in the wrong part of town, if Rhyme had found her dream yet…” His eye twitched as another thought from that time resurfaced like a demon in his head. An annoying thought. “And… guess I also kinda wanted to know if you were dating anyone.”
Shiki’s eyes jolted up to his, wide with surprise. “I-I wouldn’t, though…”
“I know now, but it worried me back then,” Neku said with a chuckle. “I was young and dumb, and I never did get to tell you how I felt. There were days in Shinjuku where those kinds of thoughts really drained me. ‘Cept that only attracted more Noise… I hate to admit it, but I almost lost myself to that more than once.”
Neku could feel Shiki’s fingers curl before tugging at his skin.
“Don’t worry, I didn’t,” he quickly assured, patting her head with his free hand. “I still made it past all that, learned how to control my emotions… I channeled my worries into drawing all of you, sometimes just your faces. You guys working on your dreams… And then, I found my resolve to get back to Shibuya ASAP.”
“You…you did?” Shiki’s brow crinkled. “But you were always trying to get back, weren’t you?”
“Yeah, I was. But something still changed. It was like the city was calling me back… Maybe that was even the start of figuring out how to escape Shinjuku.”
Shiki tilted her head. “What changed exactly?”
“I got a gift.”
“A gift?”
Neku nodded. “The coat. Coco delivered it, and I knew right away it was your handiwork.”
Shiki’s mouth parted as she stared at him.
“At the time, my mood had hit a new low. Just when I thought I was able to contain my emotions, it all came flooding out when a Noise slashed up my sketchbook. It felt like a slap in the face—like the Noise themselves were telling me I’d never escape. Even beating it didn’t help. The paper had already been scattered by the wind, so all I could do was stare at those broken, torn up smiles, knowing I might never see them again… and when I realized that, something inside me broke.”
“N-Neku…”
“Suddenly, I was back to being the same me you first met. I took it out on Coco. Yelled at her, cursed her… told her to just go the hell away. And she did. I was convinced it served me right, and thinking that I hadn’t changed after all just made it worse. I knew that if you saw me like that, you’d just be disappointed in me.”
“T-that’s not…” Shiki averted her eyes as she trailed off.
Neku took a moment to simply hold her, stroking her hair. “It was just my fears—like yours earlier,” he said. “But just when I was about to give up, Coco returned with the coat.”
Shiki didn’t try to input this time, one hand over her heart as she listened intently.
“She played it off like she didn’t know where it was from, but she didn’t have to tell me. I knew that you were waiting for me… And this time, I wasn’t going to let you down.”
Every single day… She must’ve checked Hachiko a million times. She must’ve hoped she’d see him in the crowd a million times. But she never once gave up on him, and after three years, all her hard work finally reached him.
“After that, I didn’t really need my headphones anymore. Didn’t want to lose them, either, so I trusted Coco with them. Told her to give them back to me when I came home to you, as proof I made it.”
A light laugh finally slipped from Shiki’s throat as she wiped her eyes. “I’m surprised you gave them to her at all.”
“Right? I don’t know what came over me.” Neku gave her a soft smile and gentle squeeze. “But I never did get to thank you for the coat, or for giving me the resolve I needed.”
“I-I really didn’t do that much,” Shiki murmured.
“You did… You did a ton, actually. Not just for me, but for our friends and Shibuya, too. Beat and Rhyme told me about how you were there for them when they needed it, and how you were always looking out for them despite everything you were going through.”
“T…they did?”
“Yep. You should’ve heard Beat talking about it—he said you’re one of the strongest people he knows. They’re both really proud to have you as a friend.”
“Neku…”
“I’m proud, too,” Neku continued. “You believed me when no one else did, you gave me a chance—talked to me, challenged me… You helped change me for the better. And then when I was gone, you didn’t just quit or give up on everything you dreamed of. You made your brand, just like you said you would. Think I already told you a bunch of times how amazed I was when I saw.”
Shiki’s hands fell still. “It’s because I didn’t want to let you down, either… I told you about the first New Years, right? About how Beat and Rhyme found me waiting at Hachiko?”
Neku nodded. “Yeah… They took you to hang out at their place, didn't they?”
“Mm. And we went to our first shrine visit the next day. But on the way there, we talked about how if I made a brand, maybe it would find you—even in the UG.” Shiki glanced past Neku, at her display shelf filled to the brim with pictures over the years. Some of their whole group, some of her and Neku, and some during the three year gap—with just Beat, Rhyme, and Eri. “We talked a lot about how to find you. For me, it was the brand, and for Rhyme, she wanted to try hacking into street cams, while Beat took over searching on foot when we were busy with that.”
“Sounds like you guys took advantage of your strengths together, and I’d say it worked out. Your brand was everywhere when I got back, and Beat was already in the UG with Rhyme supporting him… You all brought me home. So… Thanks, Shiki. For everything.”
Shiki’s loving gaze met his, almost mesmerized by his words. “Thank you, too… for coming back to me. For fighting those three years, and never giving up… I’m so lucky to have you as my partner.”
“Me, too. That day, when I saw you from the UG… I was scared. I knew from Rhyme’s reaction that you wouldn’t be able to see or hear me, much as I wanted you to. But then you sensed me—before anyone told you.” He placed a hand on her cheek, caressing it as he continued, “Between that and your dreams, you have a powerful sixth sense, don’t you?”
“Maybe a bit,” she said. “It isn’t always the best, though… Usually I only dream about bad things, never the good. Or sometimes, I haven a awful feeling in my stomach…”
“You do get some good. You sensed me, remember? And didn’t you say once that you had a dream of me wearing the coat after it disappeared?”
“I-I did…”
“It probably just seems all bad ‘cause you’re a worrywart,” he teased. “But that also shows just how much you care about us. You notice the bad ‘cause you don’t want anything bad to happen to us, so you’re protecting us—even in your dreams.”
Neku took her hand, lifting it up to kiss her fingers. As he did, a small sparkle caught his eye.
“But I think it’s time you focus on the good things coming for us, too.”
He pulled away, holding her hand up to show the diamond ring shining on her finger. Instead of a traditional diamond in the middle, five pink diamonds formed cherry blossom petals, and a pair of emeralds complimented it to make leaves on either side. With this, their future together was no longer just a promise—but would be sealed by vows in just a few days.
“I love you, Shiki… and I want to spend every day with you, now and forever.”
Shiki’s fingers interlaced with his. “I do, too…”
Without hesitating another moment, Shiki leaned up to kiss him. Her lips were so tender and loving, and he felt her press a hand on his chest as she deepened it with every ounce of her feelings. From her dainty, yet powerful fingers as she coiled her other hand around the back of his neck to the small tug of a smile pressing against him, it was like she was pouring her very soul into him. Her fears dissipated, replaced by a bliss only they could share. A bliss that they’d fight hell to keep if they had to.
All too soon, Shiki’s lips parted from his, but Neku wasn’t about to let her go that easily. He fell back on the couch, pulling her on top of him with a playful grin.
“See there? You’re all mine.”
Shiki’s glasses slipped down off her face, hitting his nose… and completely ruining the moment. Shiki laughed it off, playing with his spikes as she combatted, “I’m the one who has you right now. And I’m never letting go.”
“Didn’t know you were one to get so possessive.”
“I’ve earned that right after everything.”
“Heh, well good, ‘cause you’re about to be stuck with me.” Neku removed the glasses, setting them on the coffee table next to them. “I think by now we’ve proved that not even death can do us part.”
“Death was just the beginning for us,” Shiki pointed out with a giggle. “That’s how we met, after all!”
“And I wouldn’t change it for the world.” He nuzzled her and whispered, “So dream about our future this time, okay? About how a pair of once-dead kids are about to be husband and wife.”
Her cheeks flushed red—heh, it was cute that she’d still do that sometimes, even if rarely.
But she soon recovered, snuggling up to him before holding her hand out to show off her ring again. “I think I’m just scared, you know? Not of marrying you, but…”
She didn’t even need to finish. Neku scooted over to make her nice and comfy as she settled into his arms. “I’ve been a bit nervous about it, too. We’ve had so much crap happen in our lives that it’s hard to believe we just get to live happily ever after. But trust me—we’ve earned this one.”
Shiki nodded, closing her eyes as her arm rested back on him. “I just want everything to go well. For the ceremony to go off without a hitch, for us to figure out married life…”
“We’ve already been living together for how long now? I don’t think it’ll be that hard for us.”
“Mm…”
Neku hummed as he entertained an idle thought. “When we decide to have kids, on the other hand…”
Shiki’s eyes sprang open.
“K-kids?!”
“Not now, but… You want to one day, don’t you?”
He stared into Shiki’s beautiful brown eyes. A normal life together—full of their dreams, marriage, and even a family… It was almost like she was fully comprehending that she could have that, and it’d never slip away from her again.
“W-well… yeah,” she admitted. “If you do…”
Neku closed his eyes, leaning back against the couch pillows. Shiki laid her head on his chest, the rhythmic heaving of his breath acting like a lullaby for her.
“Yeah… I do.”