Chapter Text
Tired green eyes peek through a gray blanket and glare at the phone on the nightstand before them. It was vibrating so much, Eren feared it would fall off. Carefully, he tries twisting his body to reach the phone, Armin was in his little blanket cocoon and was snuggling up to him, meanwhile Mikasa was clinging onto his leg. Remind him why he agreed to a sleepover again?
He manages to shake off Armin a bit and re-arrange Mikasa’s hand on a pillow instead of his foot. Finally, he picks up the phone and opens the group chat, deciding to give his friends a calm, sane and respectful scolding for waking him up so early.
In the 'Titans suck ass' groupchat
Jagermiester is online
Jagermeister: CAN SOMEONE EXPLAIN WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING??! WHY THE FRIGGITY FRIG FRACK ARE Y'ALL UP SO EARLY!?!?!?
Neigh: Oh no, Erens upset. Anyway, I DON’T WANT TO FUCK BOYS, IM NOT GAY AND I CAN PROVE IT.
YmirTheFabulous: ONE OF US ONE OF US ONE OF US
Pootato: Admit that ur gay and move on jean 😒
Ew🤢: Join the dark side, the gay side.
Neigh: Ew floch is on ur side? I’ll stay straight thank you very much.
YmirTheFabulous: no we don’t claim him, pass him on to the straights
Jagermiester: ew no
Neigh: she said the ‘straights’ dumbass
Jagermiester: she called, i answered.
Neigh: Literally nothing about u is straight, not you, not your clothes, not that blonde twink u carry around
★AnnieIsNotOkay★: don’t disrespect armin you dollar store horse.
Neigh: or what u big-nosed bitch
★AnnieIsNotOkay★ : You don’t wanna mess with me bitch, I know shit.
Neigh: Prove it.
★AnnieIsNotOkay★: remember that time i caught u reading gay furry porn in middleschool?
Jagermiester: B L A C K M A I L .
Pootato: AIN’T NO WAY💀
Baldie: JEAN WHAT THE FUCK WERE U UP TO IN MIDDLE SCHOOL!?
YmirTheFabulous: I take back my invitation to the gay side, stay.
★AnnieIsNotOkay★: He tried hiding it and when I caught him he was like ‘this is not porn, this is 𝑒𝒹𝓊𝒸𝒶𝓉𝒾𝑜𝓃𝒶𝓁 𝒻𝒶𝒸𝓉𝓈 𝒶𝒷𝑜𝓊𝓉 𝒶𝓃𝒾𝓂𝒶𝓁𝓈 𝓇𝑒𝓅𝓇𝑜𝒹𝓊𝒸𝓉𝒾𝓋𝑒 𝓈𝓎𝓈𝓉𝓎𝓂. 🤓’ it was literally a elephant giving a unicorn a blowjob 💀
Jagermiester: LMAOOAOAOAOAOA
Pootato: SHITTING TEARS RN💀
Baldie: SOMEBODY CHANGE HIS NAME TO ‘Furry-loving zoologist’
Burrito is online
Burrito has changed Neigh’s name to ‘Furry-loving zoologist’
Burrito is offline
Pootato: HELP-
Ew🤢: Lol.
YmirTheFabulous: shut tf up floch
Baldie: Who tf even added him in the first place
Jagermeister: Me bitch.
Baldie: Jeans been real quiet since he got exposed.
Furry-loving zoologist: I hate every single one of you.
C’mon fuck me emo boy: I HATE ALL YOU EVEN MORE THAN HE DOES, GO THE FUCK TO SLEEP
_____________________________________________
Eren rolls his eyes as everyone logs off. It was an unspoken rule not to disobey Levi after all. ‘Unspoken’ because you didn’t get time to talk before he socked you in the face. He steals a bit of Armins blanket and brings Mikasa closer so they can share. Armins gonna be pissed in the morning, he knows. But fuck it, he’s cold and no doubt Mikasa is too.
He hugs them both a bit more and slowly drifts off to sleep. That night, he had wonderful dreams about Jean reading Unicorn x Elephant furry porn.