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Jason leaned against the counter, watching David make some sort of pasta dish. He wasn’t sure what it was, but he watched nevertheless. Jason was still dealing with a massive hangover and the sizzle of the pan didn’t help, but the fact that David was back in NYC after years away.
It wasn’t like they didn’t talk… or rather Jason talked at him, sending letters to the then sergeant major and never knowing if they got to David or if he had kept them. For all he knew, David had rejected the letters or burned them. A few had gotten sent right back to Jason, but that was towards the start of David’s service. By the end, nothing got sent back.
But Jason always wondered…
It wasn’t exactly a secret that Jason had feelings for David despite his cold exterior, but they never spoke on it and David had never had the most positive things to say on gays in the past. He assumed that it was one of those things that never would be spoken about. After all, he wasn’t about to lose a friend because of something he couldn’t control.
“What is it you’re making again?” Jason asked, dipping a spoon into the sauce that the pasta was being cooked in and bringing it to his mouth to taste.
“Does it matter,” was the simple response as David kept fixing the meal, “you don’t like pasta.”
That wasn’t entirely true, but Jason had begun to say it in high school just to annoy David. It stuck and Jason always sounded less joking when he said it and more and more genuinely disgusted as time passed. It was funny, though. Jason didn’t really like pasta, but he had to give it to David, he tended to make good pasta even if Jason didn’t want tons of it.
But Jason just nodded, softly continuing the lie which had spiraled, “yeah, I don’t.”
He wasn’t sure why that was the thing he’d said that hurt David’s feelings, but it always seemed to bring him down.
Jason opened a bottle of wine and poured some into a glass, drinking it after a second, but this got a glare from David, too. “You have to let it breathe.”
“I’ll be drinking it either way, it doesn’t matter.”
“You’re not doing it right.”
Jason put the glass down on the counter, irritated and walked away. David had all these rules and nitpicks, but so did Jason. They both had ways to intentionally and unintentionally get under the other’s skin.
Honestly, nothing about their friendship was healthy. On Jason’s side was a man pining after his best friend who constantly nitpicked his actions and appeared; on David’s side was a man unsure if Jason actually even cared for him much and was guarded in part. Communication never happened and it sucked, but it was just how it went.
“There’s a sparrow making a nest across the way,” Jason commented as he looked out the window, just watching the bird and smiling softly, “can you be sure no one tries to get rid of the nest at any point? I don’t want the kids to get abandoned.”
David turned off the heat on the stove and moved the pan to a cool burner, looking at Jason. He didn’t talk much about it, but the man had awful abandonment issues due to his mom leaving.
Walking over to the window, David looked at the nest with Jason, smiling softly, “I’ll try, but I can’t control what other people do when I’m not looking.”
“Trying is all I’m asking for.”
David looked at Jason, just observing his face softly before sighing, “we… we should eat.”
“Yeah.”
Neither of them moved, though. After a moment, Jason softly brushed his fingertips against David’s cheek before softly cupping it. David didn’t move, so Jason softly pressed his lips against his friend’s.
David didn’t kiss back, but he also didn’t react poorly. He simply stood there. He’d never been kissed by another man before, nor had he ever wanted to, but it wasn’t as vile as he’d thought it’d be.
As Jason pulled away, David went through a range of different things he wanted to say, but he just landed on, “I’m not like you, Jason.”
In all honesty, David knew that if he ever wanted to date a man, the only man he could see himself with was Jason, but that fact didn’t mean that he remotely liked his friend like that. He wasn’t gay, he had a girlfriend. He was engaged. This wasn’t even a possibility.
He worried that Jason would react poorly to his statement, but Jason just nodded, not even showing sadness, “yeah, I figured. I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay.”
“Could you not tell anyone about this?”
It wouldn’t be good for either of us if this got out, so he just shrugged, “about what? About the amazing food I made?”
He would never tell anyone. Jason struggled with this, he knew that. No matter the fact that Jason never had even said a word, he’d seen the evolution of Jason personally coming to at least a half accepting state of his sexuality.
“Yeah, because I don’t want people to know I don’t let the wine breathe before drinking it.”
As David plated the food for them, he made a small smiley face of garnish on Jason’s plate, placing it down on the table and seeing the soft smile on his face before he looked up at David.
They say across from each other and all was normal. Even better in a way, honestly. It was soft and intimate even if David was adamant he was straight and had a fiancée.
The quiet dinners were always their favorite.