Chapter Text
It was just another normal sunny evening for Gillion Tidestrider, age 5. Mom just made some eggs! He raced down the stairs, rushing to put his wavy hair into a messy bun. His tiny hands and lack of dexterity did not help.
“You know I smell those eggs, mama!”
“Gill, will you go get Edyn? She’s still studying in her room. Dinner’s ready.”
“Of course, mom.”
He raced back up the stairs, past his room all the way to Edyn’s room. Gill went to knock or grab the doorknob and… he hesitated. His stomach rumbled him back into the moment and he swung the door open.
“Edyn, dinner’s ready!” He ran up to her. “It’s EGGS!” Gillion gave her as best a noogie a little brother could give, instead having to hop up and bap the back of her head.
“Ow– Gill!”
“Sorry, Edyn.” He stepped back, his eyes darting to a peculiar envelope. “Is that a letter? Are you writing a letter?”
“Oh, shoot. I must’ve… No, it’s for Mom and Dad. Seems important.”
“Not more important than eggs. Come on!” He grabbed her arm.
Edyn rolled her eyes as she grabbed the letter. “I’m still bringing this to them. It’s from the– the Elders?!”
“Woah!” Gillion slowed down. “The Elders sent a letter to our parents?” He tugged the hardest he’s ever tugged. “Come on ! Now they Ha-” Gillion gasped as Edyn gripped his arm and dragged him over to the shell table.
“Sorry I’m late.”
“That’s alright, Edyn.” Falyn, their mother, placed the plates of eggs down at the table. “I kept them warm… Is that a letter?”
“It’s for you guys, it must’ve gotten mixed in with my work... somehow.”
“It’s from the Elders!” Gillion piped up.
“The Elders? ” Their father, Reed, piped up. He was already done eating the eggs, sat off in a sea-based living room sorting different types of kelps on a smaller shell-shaped table.
Edyn gave Falyn the letter. She read it out loud.
“A-hem.
Greetings, Tidestriders.
I hope this letter finds you in good health.
We want to buy your son. He’s giving us chosen one vibes.
- Thanks, we’ll be over once you read this letter
The Elders.”
Falyn was silent. “... Why’d they include a note for me to clear my throat before reading this?”
Knock knock.
“I wonder how much they’re gonna buy me for!” Gillion ran up to the door and opened it.
“Oh, cool. He’s already here.” The Water Genasi Elder welcomed herself inside. “This place is cozy.”
“He seems like he’s worth 20 sand dollars,” the Grung Elder commented.
“No, that’s this house that’s worth 20 sand dollars. We can’t buy a child for that much.” The Triton Elder also entered.
The Tortle Elder.
“I think he’s worth a million sand dollars!” Edyn shot up from her spot at the table. She used the time it took for me to double-check what all the elders’ races are to eat her dinner.
“Yeah, sure. Expect it in 3-4 fishness days. Here’s a downpayment.” The Water Genasi Elder threw 500 sand dollars in the air.
“Yay! I’m worth a lot of sand dollars even though they said I was worth less than 20 earlier. I don’t think that will have any impact on me whatsoever.” Gillion happily walked off with the old people, away from dinner and into a weird white van.
“We’ve got a band,” the Triton Elder explained. “I play the Sea Bass, the Water Genasi plays gill-tar… Maybe you can replace her, she kind of sucks. Tortle’s on the drums and Grung’s our main singer. He always wears an oversea suit to all of our concert and it pisses me off.”
“You wouldn’t get it.” The Grung scoffed, adjusting the collar of his blue suit. “It all started when I met a young lady back in–”
“I do not care.”
Gillion opened his mouth to speak, but was cut off by the Triton Elder. ”So yeah, that’s our band. It’s called the Elders because we’re the Elders and all of our concerts get sold out because any undersea residents above the poverty line gets assassinated gruesomely if they don’t check out our stuff.”
“Why haven’t I been to any concerts?” Gillion piped up. Nobody answered.
“I think Water Genasi should teach you how to play the Gill-tar.”
The Tortle Elder.
“That guy’s right, fuck you.” The Water Genasi Elder stood up. “We should make this kid our body guard. He’s the chosen one, isn’t he?”
“I am five years old.”
“Cool. Five years too late to have your first kill.”
Gillion
The van stopped and everyone got out. A massive undersea palace stood before them with an even larger path up.
“On a scale of 1-20, how strong are you currently?”
“17,” Gillion answered truthfully.
“Holy shit. Wanna try lifting us all up to the palace?”
He then proceeded to roll a 15 on an athletics check and 6 on a constitution saving throw. Gillion climbed as far as he could, making it about halfway to the palace before collapsing on the ground.
“He was kinda close though,” the Triton said.
“Shut up. I’m gonna have a servant drag him over. That guy who was driving the van’s still here, right?”
“Yeah,” That guy who was driving the van answered. “Can I hold him like a child instead of dragging him through all the sand?”
“No, it’ll make his skin stronger if you drag him through the ocean floor. Trust me.”
Finally, everyone was in the palace and Gillion woke up.
“Where… where’s my mom?”
“She sold you for 500 sand dollars. I told her we’d pay one million but I forgot her mailing address.”
“That’s a lot of sand dollars.”
The Tortle Elder.
“He doesn’t need to know that.”
“Know what?”
The Triton Elder piped up. “We were planning on offering, like, two sand dollars. Honestly a million wouldn’t cut into our budget at all, either.”
“Can we teach him how to kill things now?” The Water Genasi Elder picked the baby fish up. “I don’t wanna teach him about instruments or anything, we’re already doing that. Maybe he’ll be better on the sea bass than you are.”
“Nuh uh.”
“Fuck you mean ‘nuh uh?’ You broke all the strings twelve times last concert and we didn’t even start performing. We had to play a pre-recorded clip of one of the servants playing your part again.”
“I think we just need to buy better strings, this stuff’s nothing .”
The Water Genasi and the Triton Elder continued bickering in the background while Gillion wandered off.
“Wow… This palace is gigigamasaurous…” And then he walked straight into a wall.