Archive of Our Own

The thing is, Zayn is shy. He's so incredibly shy, it's stupid. It gets in the way of things, once in a life time opportunities, the making of friends, pursuing a career, the list goes on and on. It's annoying. It's not even a cute shy where he stutters a bit and blushes but eventually gets a sentence out. No, it's the kind of shy that makes his mind go blank and leaves him there all flustered and floundering for something to say, anything to say, until he just makes some kind of gesture towards the conversation and flees the scene. It's a bit ridiculous, especially considering he's twenty years old, majoring part time in English to become a teacher and currently worked at a coffee shop where he had to talk to people, new people, on a regular basis.

Working at the coffee shop was a disaster at first, his manager received many complaints about him and how he wasn't friendly enough or spoke too quietly but thankfully his manager defended him and put up with him long enough to get accustomed to everything. It was easy now, he had a script. He knew how to greet a customer, how to ask them about their order and how to wish them a good day. He didn't have to think about what he had to say, it was right there taped to the register in case he forgot. He didn't have to worry about what people thought of what he was saying because those weren't his words, they weren't his thoughts so it didn't matter. The only problem Zayn would encounter was when regulars would ask how his day had been or how school was going. He was beginning to develop his own script to those questions, something simple and positive, something that wouldn't make him seem rude but also something that wasn't too long that would annoy the customers because he knew they didn't really care and that they were only asking to be polite. He didn't want to upset them by saying the wrong thing so lately he's been replying with a short 'good' and leaving it at that.

He knew planning out answers to questions he knows he's going to be asked was a bit ridiculous, but so was standing there looking like a deer caught in the headlights trying to answer simple questions. Zayn just worried too much. He worried he was going to say the wrong thing and offend someone. He was worried he would say something stupid and look like an idiot. He was worried he would say too much and bore the person because really, who cared what he thought? Probably not a lot of people, and who had the time to wait around for Zayn to be comfortable enough around them to be able to voice his opinion anyway. Zayn just worried too much, or at least that's what his mother says, and needed to stop thinking about what other people think or do and just worry about him. That's what his mother constantly told him, unfortunately, it was easier said than done.

So when Zayn is asked to train the new guy tomorrow at five o'clock, he sort of panics. He had to excuse himself to the washroom, politely asking Nathan if he can take the register for a moment, too panicked to care if Nathan might be annoyed at him for that but Nathan did it to him all the time so he wasn't too worried. Nathan nodded, his shaggy blonde hair moving with his head, and took the register as Zayn tossed the store phone on the counter, the phone that had been used to ask Zayn, well more like tell Zayn that he'd be training the new guy. He hurried into the washroom, flipping up the divider that separates public space to employees' space and dashed to the washroom. He closed the door behind him and locked it then took a deep breath.

How was he supposed to do this? He asked himself as he turned around in the small room. He couldn't, he knew he couldn't. He'd sit at home all night, then through school tomorrow planning everything out, what to say, how to say it, what to show him, answers to possible questions, he would go through scenario after scenario and have ever angle planned out, then he'd get to the shop, meet this person and forget everything he ever thought about, including his own name. To normal people it may seem a bit extreme, they might think Zayn was exaggerating, but he wasn't.

He wished he could get over it, he hated not being able to voice his own thoughts freely and not being able to talk to people. It was just, he wished he knew what people were thinking. He wished he could tell if they were really interested in what he had to say or if they were just being polite. Zayn hated annoying people, he hated offending them or making them uncomfortable and if he knew what they were thinking, he'd know what to say. It didn't help that Zayn was shit at reading signs. He couldn't tell if someone was bored or content, he couldn't tell if someone wanted to be his friend or if they were hitting on him. He just didn't know and he really didn't like upsetting people so he tried to say as little as possible, when he can say anything, to avoid upsetting them.

What if Zayn couldn't explain everything well enough and the guy got confused? What if this guy laughed at Zayn? It wouldn't be the first time. What if this guy didn't like Zayn? Question after question plagued his mind as he thought about tomorrow and how he would inevitably make a fool of himself. Maybe whoever else is working could do it for him? He didn't think he would be that lucky.

~

As suspected Zayn sat in his English Lit class not able to pay attention at all as his professor rambled on about some new Shakespeare play they would be studying, he didn't catch the name of it. He usually liked paying attention to Mr. Nelson and his interesting views on the chosen piece of work but today he couldn't get his mind off the training session he was supposed to take part in. There was only a brief moment where his thoughts ventured to something different and that was at the beginning of this class when Liam walked in through the doors and he wasn't so sure those thoughts did any better for his nerves.

Liam was another thing that constantly plagued Zayn's thoughts and made him nervous even though he's never said two words to the bloke, and that wasn't because of Zayn's shyness. Liam was one of those guys that had everyone he ever passed turning their head just to see if he really was that good looking. Zayn's known him for years and had watched him go from adorably cute to smolderingly sexy though he doubts Liam even knows he exists. Liam was a taller guy with an athletic build, his shoulders broad and arms as thick as Zayn's legs. Zayn knows from past experience that Liam's torso is very defined and very drool worthy from when he was walking by one time to see Liam and his mates playing a game of footie, it apparently being too hot for shirts. He had recently shaven his dark locks of hair but Zayn could see it was growing back now, though Liam kept the sides trimmed. He had thick eyebrows that framed coffee brown eyes and lips that made Zayn think about things he just wasn't going to get into in the middle of class.

Yes, everything about Liam screamed Abercrombie and Fitch model at first glance but for the people that paid attention, for the people that spent more time than they should staring at Liam, you could see a side of him that was all soft and adorable. It was in his eyes mostly, they were kind and warm, making you want to dive in and just get lost in them. It was the way he smiled, the way his eyes crinkled at the corners and his nose scrunched up. Zayn could tell there was more to Liam than meets the eye, he just wished he had the ability to find out what exactly that all included.

But as beautiful as Liam was, it still wasn't enough to keep him from his thoughts. He was still worried about what he was going to do tonight. He's realized that this new person comes at five o'clock and works till closing with him. Nathan, the only other worker of the night leaves at half past five. That means Zayn is going to be alone with this person for three and a half hours and that means that Zayn can't just hand him over to Nathan to train either. In other words, he was screwed.

Zayn was startled by the bell signaling that class was over and that he had to make his way to the coffee shop in about thirty minutes. He gathered his untouched books, shoving them into his bag. He may have been taking his sweet time, dreading the next couple hours and hoping that somehow he wouldn't have to do it.

"Hey, Zayner." Came a familiar Irish accent. Zayn knew the voice well, it belonged to the closest thing he could call a friend. A scrawny, bleached blonde haired boy appeared at his side, big blue eyes shining bright and his newly perfected teeth on display. It's usually how Niall worked, you usually heard him before you saw him.

"Hi, Niall." Zayn replied with a small smile because Niall was someone Zayn was comfortable with. It took him years to be comfortable around the blonde and he was still fairly quiet with him but at least now he could get out a hello.

"You were staring at Payno again." Niall said, a small smirk forming on his lips. Zayn felt his face getting hotter with the statement, still not used to Niall knowing about his crush on Liam. Zayn's never actually told Niall anything about Liam but Niall was quite observant and very persistent about the matter when he noticed.

"No I wasn't." Zayn mumbled, standing up from his chair. Although that was a regular response to the statement because yes, Niall did make this statement on a regular basis, it was the truth today. He really hadn't been staring because his thoughts were too focused on work. Niall seemed to think about this for a second, adjusting his bag that was thrown over his shoulder.

"You're right, you weren't. What's wrong?" He asked because apparently if he wasn't staring at Liam, there must be something wrong.

"Nothing." He replied quietly, starting to make his way out of the classroom, noticing that Liam was already long gone, which was a bit odd considering he usually stayed behind and chatted with some of the other students.

"Oh, come on, Zayner. You can tell me." Niall encouraged, following Zayn out of the room. Zayn shook his head because no, he really couldn't. "Maybe I could help?"

"I'm fine, Niall." Zayn assured because he really didn't want to bore Niall with his problems and he didn't think Niall would understand anyway. Zayn and Niall were polar opposites; Niall had a million and one friends, whereas Zayn had none. Niall could talk about anything to anyone all day long and Zayn had trouble telling people his name. Niall was loud and bubbly, full of energy and so outgoing whereas Zayn was quiet and shy, avoided all social activities and kept to himself. How could Niall understand Zayn's problem?

"Alright, but if you need someone to talk to, you know where to find me." Niall told him before dashing off to go talk to his real friends. Zayn knew Niall was just a nice guy and liked to include everyone and that was the only reason he bothered with Zayn at all. Niall had so many other friends that he was honestly surprised he even remembered Zayn's name.

~

Zayn is nervously wiping at the counter, trying to clean out a coffee stain that's been there since before he started working here so he knew it was pointless but he just needed something to do. The new guy was due any minute and he was already forgetting how you make coffee, do you put in six or eight scoops? He was fucked. What kind of person doesn't know how to make coffee? Especially when you work at a coffee shop?

"I, uh- I don't think it's coming off there, mate." Came a voice from somewhere near Zayn's ducked head. A voice he knew well, a voice he shouldn't know because he's never talked to the owner before, but he did. Zayn raised his head, his hand still on the counter and clutching the rag. When Zayn looked up he was met with coffee brown eyes, crinkling slightly with the small smile creeping across pink lips. Zayn was sort of taken by surprise, sort of fascinated with how he could see golden flecks in the deep brown of Liam's eyes and the stubble he could see growing along his jaw because he's never been this close before.

Zayn hoped his eyes weren't as wide as they felt and that he didn't resemble some star struck fan girl meeting her celebrity crush because that would probably seem a little creepy to Liam considering the two boys have never met. Hell, Liam probably didn't even know they were in the same class. Liam seemed to be waiting for something, a reply or a greeting because this was a coffee shop, Zayn did work here and Liam probably wanted some damn coffee, but Zayn couldn't make himself speak. Even the script he's spent more than a year repeating day after day seemed to vanish from his memory with those brown eyes and warm smile directed at him. But then the smile was faltering and Liam looked a bit awkward standing there. Zayn wanted to smack himself.

"Uh, I'm Liam." Liam said, as if Zayn didn't know that already, but then maybe he shouldn't have. Zayn wondered why he was introducing himself because customers didn't usually introduce themselves. "Nathan told me to come talk to you, I'm supposed to be starting here today." Liam added, scratching at the back of his neck, making his shirt lift with the raise of his arm. Shit. No. There's no way. Liam can't be the new guy. He can't be. How was Zayn supposed to work with Liam, let alone train Liam? He couldn't, that's just it. He could barely talk to Liam.

"Um, Is there a uniform I need, or..." Liam asked, obviously trying to figure out why he was being stared at the way he was. Zayn was clutching onto the rag like it was a lifeline, desperately trying to think of something to say. He asked a simple question, it should be a simple answer.

"Yeah," Zayn mumbled, pulling the rag to his chest where he clutched it with both hands, picking at the material with cold wet fingers. He knew he should do something now, introduce himself or lead Liam to the back room to get his uniform but, what was his name again and where the hell was the backroom?

"Great, uh... Is- I mean, should I get changed now?" Liam asked because Zayn wasn't doing a very good job at welcoming the new guy. He mentally shook himself because he was going to look like a bigger idiot if he kept standing there without saying anything than saying what he should be, that or he'll just look like an asshole.

"Yeah." He mumbled again, turning on his heel and hoping Liam got the message to follow because he forgot to tell him and he didn't want to look stupid by turning back and telling him to do so. Zayn heard the divider flip up and smack back down so he must have gotten the message. Zayn lead him to the backroom where there was a small prep kitchen, an office area for his boss, excess stock of various coffees and teas and a small area for employees to keep their bags and coats. Zayn headed straight to the office area where he knew there would be a shirt with Liam's new name tag clipped to it. When he picked it up, he turned and found Liam checking the room out, eyeing the small kitchen then turning until his eyes fell on Zayn where he smiled again. Zayn tried to smile back though he wasn't sure how genuine it came across.

"Thanks." Liam mumbled, taking the offered shirt from Zayn. Without a second thought Liam was pulling his current shirt over his head, bundling it up and tucking it between his knees while he slipped one the new one. "Zayn, right?" He asked, his arm tucked inside the arm holes, his head poking over the bunched up fabric but his torso very much exposed. Zayn averted his gaze from the muscles he could clearly see moving as Liam pulled the fabric over his head and willed his face to cool down. He wasn't sure what he found more shocking, the fact that Liam was changing in front of him or the fact that Liam knew his name. Liam apparently assigned the shock to the name knowing, seeming completely oblivious as to what he just did to Zayn's heart rate. "You're wearing a name tag, I'm not a mind-reader." Liam explained as he adjusted the black shirt. Zayn looked down at the name tag clipped to his shirt that in fact did have his name on it, even if it was misspelled, and frowned because of course that's the only way Liam knew his name.

"Right." Zayn mumbled, offering a twitch of his lips that was supposed to be a smile but he was certain that it hadn't worked. Once Liam's shirt was on properly and Zayn felt like he could breathe again, Liam stood there, waiting for further instructions that Zayn should be giving him but Zayn had no idea where to start.

"Um, so- Uh, where do I start?" Liam asked after a moment of nothing. Zayn mentally shook himself again because he needed to do this or he might lose his job. It was just, did it have to be Liam? Of all the people in the world, Liam? Why did Liam even need a job? Zayn was pretty sure he was at Uni on a scholarship and if he didn't need a job he should be focusing on his studies.

"Um, I- Well, this is the kitchen." Zayn was trying not to mumble again but that didn't increase the volume of his voice any. Liam nodded politely because of course the area with the fridge, stove, counter and sink was a fucking kitchen. "Uh, we make sandwiches back here, and Danishes." Zayn elaborated, Liam nodding again. Zayn wasn't sure what else to say.

"Can I put my shirt here?" Liam asked, grabbing the shirt from between his legs and motioning towards a shelf that held other employees' bags. Zayn nodded and watched as Liam tossed his shirt up there, then turned to Zayn expectantly.

"Um, I-I'll show you the- the front." Zayn stuttered, walking quickly to the exit that lead to the counter where they served customers. Liam followed him out, sticking close to Zayn as he led him through the small area. Nathan was serving a customer at the moment, a pretty blonde that Zayn assumed he was trying to flirt with because he was spending an awfully long time taking her order. "Um, so you'll start off just making the drinks. Th-there's notes everywhere with what to put in them." Zayn explained, focusing on anything but Liam so he at least had a chance at doing this and gesturing to one of the many notes that was taped to the counter with instructions on how to make a pumpkin spiced latte.

"Hey Newbie, get me a mint hot chocolate?" Nathan called over his shoulder, trying to appear 'cool' for the blonde. Liam raised an eyebrow at him then looked to Zayn to see what he should do.

"Uh, right. The uh- hot chocolate is over here." Zayn mumbled, slipping past Liam, his arm brushing against Liam's chest because there really wasn't a lot of room back here. "Um, the hot chocolate is already made, y-you just have to pour it into a cup and for mint you add a shot of- of the mint flavour." Zayn explained, some-what proud of himself for accomplishing that. Liam nodded, grabbing a cup from the stack beside the machine. He followed Zayn's instructions and filled the cup up with the chocolaty substance, then added a shot to the mix and stirred it in.

"I'm guessing it needs a lid or something?" Liam asked, looking to Zayn. Zayn cursed himself for forgetting, clumsily grabbing a lid and handing it over to Liam. Liam put the lid on the cup and handed it over to Nathan. It went like this for a while, Nathan demanding drinks, Zayn vaguely describing how to make them because he was forgetting half of them himself, and Liam slowly making them with Zayn hovering close by. Things got a little trickier when Nathan left and Zayn was forced to take the register while trying to help Liam at the same time, but it worked. Most customers were understanding, a lot of them being regulars so they knew Liam was new because they've never seen him before. Liam picked it all up fairly quick, only messing up a couple times and only spilling one drink, it was better than his first day at least. Zayn was thankful as the night went on because less and less people needed coffee the later it got and he was able to show Liam some of the cleaning they needed to do.

"Just one spray per table then wipe it down and do the chairs." Zayn explained, nervously handing Liam a spray bottle and a rag. Liam accepted them with a nod, completely oblivious to how nervous he made Zayn. Liam left the counter to go and wipe down the tables because there was only one customer in here, a college girl Zayn recognized since she was always in here to have a tea and study.

"So, how long have you been working here, Zayn?" Liam asked and Zayn still wasn't over the fact the Liam Payne knew his name now. But he couldn't focus on that because he was being asked a question that required a verbal answer.

"Uh, a-about, uh, a-about a y-year." Zayn stuttered out because he was no longer just explaining different kind of coffee drinks, this was information on Zayn and Zayn really didn't think it was interesting enough to share.

"Oh, wow. So you know everything about this place, I'm guessing." Liam replied, bending over the table to wipe it down. Zayn tried not to watch but he could see Liam's muscles flexing as it stretched over the table.

"Uh, y-yeah." Zayn replied distractedly as he watched Liam flip the chairs up on the tables so the legs were sticking up in the air. Like always, Zayn was intrigued by Liam's movements, imagining what it'd feel like to have those arms wrapped around him. Zayn may be shy in front of people but he was only human and he really wasn't that shy in his head.

"You going to Uni or anything like that?" Liam asked, moving on to the next table as the girl at the back packed up and left because she knew they closed very shortly. Zayn didn't know why this question disappointed him so much, he knew that Liam had no reason to know who he was, even if they had gone to the same school for roughly ten years. Zayn was quiet and kept to himself, he never participated in school activities or had any friends, he's been bumped into countless times and sat on at least three, he might as well be invisible. He supposes he was just hoping Liam might have noticed the quiet kid in the back of the room that would have seemed like a straight A student because he never talked or fooled around in class but really he was failing because he was too shy to ask for help. But he guesses his life wasn't a teen romance movie.

"Uh, yeah. I-I uh, we actually h-have a c-class together." Zayn informed him, surprising Liam if the look on his face was anything to go by.

"Oh, uh, sorry, mate. Big class, I guess." Liam said, offering an excuse and because Zayn was a little hurt, he somehow gained a temporary confidence boost to let Liam in on a little secret.

"We've actually gone to the same schools for about ten years." Zayn said, proud that he didn't stutter. He did, however, have to stare at the ground to be able to say it. There was a pause that had Zayn looking back up to make sure he hadn't offended Liam, he really shouldn't have said that. Liam had a frown on his face as he regarded Zayn, apparently forgetting about his job of cleaning tables.

"Well doesn't that just make me a self-centered little shit?" Liam mumbled, more to himself, Zayn thinks, than to Zayn. "Really? Ten years? Were we in the same classes?" He asked trying to figure out how he could have possibly missed Zayn. Zayn nodded because they were, nearly every year. Liam cursed under his breath then looked to the ceiling as if looking into his memory for the picture of the tanned skinned, dark hair boy that should have been there but wasn't.

"Shit, Zayn. I'm sorry. I'm really sorry." Liam apologized. He looked really upset and Zayn was the cause of it. This is why he shouldn't talk, he always upset people and now it was worse because he upset Liam Payne. Zayn didn't know what to tell him so he only shrugged and turned around, vowing to never speak to Liam again unless he had to. Liam probably thought he was being whiney, complaining that Liam never noticed him but that wasn't Zayn's intention. He was just trying to make conversation because he was trying to be better at that sort of thing, and now Liam probably thought Zayn was being a brat.

The rest of the night went on in an awkward sort of silence, Liam only talking when he had a question and Zayn only replying with a shrug of his shoulder or a nod of his head. When it came to locking up, Liam offered Zayn a ride home but Zayn quietly declined, he knew Liam was only offering to be nice and he didn't want to inconvenience him. Zayn liked his walks home anyway, with his music in and the moon shining overhead. It was calming and the only time he didn't have to worry about what people thought of him.

~

"Hey, so... I'm an ass." Liam said, plopping himself down into the seat next to Zayn. No one ever sat by Zayn so he was a bit startled and a little surprised when Liam began unpacking his books onto the small table in front of him. They were in the last class of the day, students slowly spilling in through the doors. As always Zayn noticed when Liam came in, looking as good as he always did but this time he sort of ignored his friend's attempts at conversation, politely dismissing them as he scanned the seats before him. Liam met Zayn's eyes and smiled but Zayn didn't see him making his way over because he immediately looked away, thinking he had just been caught staring. "I know I'm an ass, but I can make it up to you somehow?" Liam asked, looking at Zayn.

"What?" Zayn asked because he was really confused, what did Liam have to make for?

"I can't believe I've gone all this time never noticing you. I didn't believe you but when I went home, I looked at my old yearbooks and you were there in all of them. I feel like an ass and I want to make it up to you, if you'll let me. I don't want you thinking I'm an asshole." Liam explained sounding frustrated with himself but also some-what hopeful.

"I don't think you're- I don't think that." Zayn said because he didn't like swearing out loud, someone may not like it.

"You should." Liam mumbled. The two boys went quiet after that because Zayn wasn't good at keeping conversations going but it didn't matter because then there were three more boys sitting around them, making Zayn kind of freak out for a second. One of them was Niall, thankfully, though he raised his eyebrows in a question, his eyes darting to Liam then back to Zayn. Zayn felt himself blush even though Niall really hadn't done anything and felt himself blush even more when Niall cracked a grin at Zayn's red cheeks.

"What are we sitting over here for, Payno?" Another of the boys asked. Zayn knew his name was Louis, Louis Tomlinson. He knew Louis was a drama major but took this course so he could study more plays more in depth. He knew Louis was well known around campus for partying any chance he could get. He also knew Louis was known to swing both ways, he found this out the hard way when looking for a book in the library in secondary and found Louis on his knees in front of a very flushed looking bloke. It hadn't even fazed Louis, he just pulled off long enough to tell Zayn to get the fuck out of there unless he wanted to join. Zayn of course, fled the scene, blushing profusely while trying not to get a hard on from what he had witnessed that day. He's never been able to really look at Louis the same. Louis had brown hair that he always styled to look messy and grey-blue eyes that reminded him of the sky before a storm. He was a shorter lad but not scrawny, with many tattoos covering many areas of his body.

"Yeah, Nick refuses to change seats, something about routine or some shit." The other boy added in, taking a seat in front of Zayn but turning around so he could see Liam. Zayn knew this one as well, he may not have a lot of friends but he knew a lot of people, or at least of them. This one had dark curly hair that refused to stay put as he shook them out and tried to straighten them again. He had forest green eyes that shone with both innocence and mischief, how, Zayn had no clue. He had ridiculous dimples and a smile to accompany them that could get him out of or into anything he wanted. This one was Harry Styles. He was tall and lean muscled, tattoo covered as well and basically every girl's dream guy. It was hard to keep tabs on who he was with because it seemed like he had a new girl on his arm everyday though somehow none of them ever picked up on the fact that they probably weren't going to be around for long.

"Just wanted to sit next to my mate." Liam explained with a shrug and Zayn really wished he hadn't said that because now four sets of eyes were on him and he didn't do well with multiple pairs of eyes looking at him. Louis' blue eyes narrowed on Zayn as he inspected this 'mate' of Liam's, like he was trying to figure out where he had seen him before.

"You look familiar, have we fucked before?" Louis asked with honest curiosity. The reactions between each boy was very different. Niall threw his head back in a cackle, nearly falling out of his seat because he knew how impossible that was. Harry wasn't exactly surprised, just a little amazed that Louis apparently had to ask people if he's slept with them. Liam was shocked, immediately smacking Louis upside the head while all Zayn could do was sit there with wide eyes and a red face.

"Louis!" Liam scolded as his hand made contact with Louis's head. Louis flinched away, patting at his hair to make sure it still looked perfectly messy.

"What? It's just a question." Louis grumbled but then all eyes were on him, waiting for an answer.

"Uh- I, uh-" Zayn's mouth dropped open but all that would come out were tiny sounds that were supposed to be the beginning of a sentence but it never got that far.

"No, Tommo, I highly doubt that." Niall answered for him after he realized Zayn must be extremely uncomfortable with the current situation.

"I swear I've seen you before." Louis mumbled, rubbing at his chin in thought.

"Doesn't mean you slept with him." Harry told him. "You could have- passed him in the hall, or bumped into him at the library." Harry suggested, seeming to just be picking a random scenario but Zayn flinched because it was really close to reality and it appeared to dawn on Louis then as he snapped his fingers and pointed them at Zayn.

"The library! You're the kid that walked in on me and Steven!" Louis said excitedly, smacking Harry on the arm. "He's the kid that found me and that Steven guy in the library when I sucked him off." He explained. Harry nodded in understanding but it didn't appear as though he cared much.

"Awesome Lou, you probably scarred the poor kid." Harry commented, giving Zayn and apologetic smile that basically went ignored because Zayn was freaking out too much in his head.

"Oh, please. He watched for like a minute and I saw his boner before he left. He probably went to wank off in the toilet." Louis said with a bored tone.

"Guys, shut up." Liam begged, probably noticing Zayn's discomfort. Zayn didn't understand how they talked about this stuff so openly, like they were talking about what they had for lunch.

"Yeah, Zayn is- Zayn's a little shy," Niall explained, smiling fondly at Zayn. "I'm sure talking about him wanking off to Louis is not a comfortable subject for him." Niall snickered, somehow saving Zayn but also embarrassing him more at the same time.

"Hmmm..." Louis hummed, his eyes raking over Zayn's constantly reddening face, then his body. "It's always the quiet ones who are the freaks, we could definitely have a good time togeth-"

"Louis!" Liam interrupted, looking absolutely shocked at his mate's words. Zayn was positive if any more blood rushed to his face a vein would pop somewhere.

"What?" Louis asked in total innocence. "Have you looked at him? Sure, the bloke doesn't know how to dress himself but look at that face! Have you looked-" Louis was saying, making Zayn want to crawl under his desk because they were obviously making fun of him. Zayn wasn't attractive, he wasn't. He knew that and had accepted that a long time ago, but then Louis was stopping, regarding Liam with a considering look. "Unless you have looked... Oh, I get it. You have looked and you want him for yourself. Alright, alright, I'll back off. He's all yours." Louis said, waving his hand in the air to apparently dismiss the topic.

If Zayn had looked over at Liam he would have seen him getting as red as Zayn but Zayn was a bit too flustered to do anything except stare ahead with wide eyes and a hot face. Harry was trying to hide a laugh on Louis' shoulder who now looked a little bored with no conversation going on while Niall didn't even bother holding in his laugh, letting it out loud into the air until he saw the professor walk into the room. All the boys turned then, still silently laughing to themselves while Zayn and Liam sat there in an awkward silence, both for very different reasons.

Zayn was happy when the professor came in and the boys left him alone. They were obviously taking the piss because Zayn was too shy to say anything back but Zayn couldn't help but wonder. What if Louis was right? What if Liam did want him for himself? It was ridiculous to even think about and get his hopes up over it but that didn't stop him from thinking about the possibilities. All those fantasies he's had growing up watching Liam and trust him, he's had a lot. He's had them in class, at home in bed, in the shower, he may be shy but his imagination was not. He wouldn't know what he would do if all those fantasies had a possibility of being true, but he figured he really shouldn't be thinking about those right now or Louis might see his boner again.

~

Liam closes with Zayn again that night and Zayn thinks it goes even more horribly than the night before. At least the night before most of the conversation was just Liam asking how to make a certain drink or where to find the soap, minus that little conversation near the end of their shift. Tonight though, tonight was much worse. Liam seamed set on getting to know Zayn. He would ask question after question, even when they were serving a customer and that usually ended with Liam messing up the order and Zayn didn't have the balls to tell him to pay attention and not worry about what Zayn's favourite movie is.

For the most part Liam did alright though, it was when someone came in and ordered a complicated drink or one that wasn't very popular that he got stuck and Zayn would basically have to work the register and make the orders himself. Liam would constantly apologize to Zayn, to the point where it became annoying and Zayn actually wanted to tell him to shut up, but of course he didn't. Zayn simply mumbled out an 'It's okay' or 'It happens' and stepped in to finish the order.

Usually Zayn dreaded customers coming in because then they would want to order something and that meant conversing with Zayn but as the night went on and less and less people came, he found himself praying that more would come so he didn't have to talk to Liam so much. It's not that he didn't like Liam, obviously he liked Liam, but he didn't like that he couldn't make himself talk back properly. He couldn't get over the fact that he didn't think Liam would be interested in what he had to say. He was probably expecting some kind of brilliant answer or amazing story but Zayn didn't have any of those. His life was pretty boring and it was really frustrating because he was saying as little as possible so as not to bore Liam but all that seemed to do is bore him anyway, so Zayn was kind of at a loss.

"Have you seen any of the Batman movies?" Liam asked as he began wiping off the tables and chairs because they were closing up soon. Zayn was sweeping up behind the counter and he kept his head down as he nodded. He loved the Batman movies, to be honest. It was one of his favourite superheroes but he didn't want to admit that he actually had a favourite superhero, Liam would probably think he was a geek and stop talking to him.

"Yeah? Which one's your favourite?" Liam asked, seeming quite excited about the topic. Zayn looked up at this, seeing Liam placing a chair on top of a table. Zayn wanted to tell him how he couldn't possibly pick one favourite, that would be like picking between your children because they were all great in their own way, and he could go into detail about those ways easily, but Liam seemed happy about the topic and he didn't want to ruin that.

"Uh, Batman Begins?" Zayn asked more than answered, going with the first one that came to his mind. Liam grinned at this, moving on to the next table.

"Yeah, that one was ace. Though I must say the Dark Knight may have been better." Liam replied. He was nearly done with the tables and soon all there would be left to do would be to mop. Zayn wanted to challenge that, he wanted to say how Batman Begins had more character building and he loved that kind of thing but he didn't because he didn't want Liam to think he was weird for liking more story behind the plot of a superhero movie, so he only nodded and continued sweeping. He didn't mean to be rude or upset Liam but Liam ended up frowning after that and remaining silent for the rest of the evening. What did Zayn do?

Zayn gripped the handle of the broom tighter in frustration in himself and avoided even looking at Liam for the rest of the night. This is why he didn't talk to people, he always ended up screwing it up and he could never figure out what it is that he's done. It annoyed him to no end and sometimes made him wish he was someone else. Someone who knew how to talk to a person properly, but that wasn't going to happen.

"You want a ride?" Liam asked from behind Zayn as he pulled the key to the store out of the lock and slipped it into his pocket. Zayn shook his head as he turned around to see Liam looking at him with a slightly hopeful look that fell as Zayn shook his head. "It's not really safe to be walking alone at night." Liam warned but Zayn still shook his head, he didn't want to inconvenience Liam.

"I-I'll be fine. Thanks." Zayn mumbled then slipped past Liam in the direction of his house, pulling out his earphones and plugging them in.

This is how the next little while went. Liam was mostly put on closing shifts with Zayn because they apparently made a good team, according to his boss. Liam would try and make conversation that Zayn couldn't respond to but wanted to so badly. Eventually Liam seemed to give up on talking with Zayn, his questions becoming few and far between but he would still offer Zayn that ride at the end of the night and Zayn would still turn it down. Liam continued to sit by Zayn in class, though they barley talked there either, and in result Niall, Harry and Louis would sit by them as well, always talking and filling in the silence that always seemed to fall between Liam and Zayn.

Zayn didn't know why Liam was even bothering anymore, it was a bit confusing. He'd always greet Zayn with a smile and take his seat beside him or head to go change into his uniform, he'd always start talking to him and asking him how his night had been or if he understood the assignment from the night before because he apparently didn't but then Liam would give a resigned sigh and shut down completely. Zayn was trying to give him what he wanted, he tried answering his questions but they didn't appear to be what Liam wanted to hear and only discouraged Zayn even more and by the time it came to depart, they barley shared a good-bye.

Things got a little more complicated one day in class. Class hadn't begun yet but all five boys sat in their little mishap circle that had become sort of a permanent thing somehow. Zayn wasn't sure when his life had changed so much and by that he meant he wasn't sure when he somehow gained four friends, though he didn't know that's what they were until Louis said so while inviting Zayn to a party.

"So, Zayn. Are you coming tomorrow night?" Louis asked, hanging his chin on Harry's shoulder and looking up at him through his eyelashes. Zayn still had a hard time looking at him without thinking about that time in the library but he was getting better at not getting a boner every time he thought about it too long.

"What?" Zayn asked, not knowing what he was talking about. It wasn't often that Zayn spoke in these little before class chats, only when he was spoken directly too and forced to give more than a shrug or a nod.

"Tomorrow. Josh is throwing a party at his parent's cabin, they're gone away for the week and everyone is going. You coming?" He explained. Zayn could tell Louis already knew the answer to his question; that Zayn would not be going, partly because he didn't do parties but mostly because he hadn't heard anything about it, which wasn't surprising since he was still pretty invisible to most people. Zayn shook his head, eyes darting between each boy to see different expressions. Niall's was amused though Zayn has come to learn that that was Niall's default expression. Harry's didn't look surprised that he wasn't going, only sympathetic, though Zayn didn't know why. Louis didn't look surprised either but instead of sympathy he saw a challenging look in his eyes, challenging Zayn to something though again, he didn't know what. Liam's expression was the one that affected him the most, though Liam always affected him the most, he actually looked disappointed at Zayn's answer, frowning slightly as his eyes fell onto his unopened textbook.

"Come on, Zayner. It'll be fun." Niall said, bumping his shoulder into Zayn's but Zayn shook his head looking for an excuse, any excuse.

"I wasn't invited." He mumbled, his eyes stuck on his twiddling thumbs.

"Well, you're invited now." Harry spoke up, a smile creeping over his lips.

"I have to work." Zayn added, and it was true, it wasn't just an excuse.

"The shop closes at nine, parties don't start till like, ten... Eleven-ish. It's plenty of time." Louis said waving off Zayn's excuse, leaving him fresh out of good ones.

"I- I-" Zayn stuttered, noticing the triumphant look in Louis' eyes. Was this a game to him? Like, 'oh, let's see how uncomfortable we can make the socially awkward kid!'.

"You don't have to if you don't want to." Came Liam's voice, relieving Zayn of the mini panic attack that was beginning to form inside of him. Zayn looked to Liam who suddenly looked a bit nervous. "I mean, I- We would like you to come, but if you don't want to, you don't have to." Liam continued, glancing between his textbook and Zayn. Zayn paused for a moment, surprised by the fact that he was even pausing because normally he wouldn't go, no question about it, but now he was considering it. Now Liam Payne wanted him to go to a party with him. Would he really turn that down?

"It'll be fun, Zayner." Niall went on, nudging him again to get his attention. "We can meet you there or pick you up after work and go and... If at any time you want to leave, we will. Right, guys?" Niall offered because out of all of them Niall has known Zayn the longest and some-what understood how he could get. All the boys nodded, offering smiles all around, though to Zayn, Louis' looked a bit evil. Zayn couldn't believe the words the left his mouth.

"Okay, I'll go."

~

Zayn was just locking up the shop when he heard the roar of a motor pull up behind him. He ignored it, it was usually just someone who would be disappointed that they couldn't get a late night cup of coffee but when he turned around he recognized Liam's SUV pulled up at the side of the road, Liam in the driver's seat smiling at him. Zayn could see Louis in the passenger seat, also looking at Zayn with an expectant look, and then the back door was being swung open to reveal Niall beaming at him, calling for him to get his arse inside the vehicle with Harry grinning over his shoulder. Zayn sort of froze in his spot, he had somehow worked it out in his mind that they must have been kidding yesterday so he was a little caught off guard.

"Come on, Zayner! Let's go!" Niall called again, swinging the door open more for Zayn to get in. Zayn stayed put, his eyes flicking over to meet Liam's whose smile faltered only for a second before he jerked his head to the side, telling Zayn to get in and for some reason that did it for him. Zayn placed one foot after the other and gingerly climbed in beside Niall, gently closing the door and putting his seatbelt on. It was the three of them on the one bench seat so there wasn't much elbow room but Niall didn't seem to mind and he supposed since Niall was in the middle, it affected him the most.

"Did you bring a change of clothes?" Louis asked from the front seat as Liam pulled away from the curb. Zayn looked to him, apparently taking too long to answer because Louis gave him a blank look and continued. "I'm assuming you're not going in your uniform." He said, his eyes glancing down to Zayn's attire. Zayn glanced down as well and heard Louis sigh.

"Where do you live? We can go there quickly and you can change." Liam offered, meeting Zayn's eyes in the rearview mirror. Zayn thought briefly that they could just drop him off there and leave him there but then he figured he did say he would go so he pointed at a street and told Liam to turn left.

Zayn told them they could wait in the car and that he would only be a few minutes but Louis insisted they come in because apparently Zayn wouldn't know what to wear. So they all filed in through the door to his parents' house because he still lived at home while going to Uni. As usual his house was chaotic from the moment they stepped foot inside the tiny building. Doniya, his older sister, was just slipping her shoes on, getting ready to leave when they opened the door. She stomped her foot down to get her shoe on as she stood up straight and smiled at Zayn. She barely spared him a second look before she was kissing him on the cheek and squeezing her way through the boys behind him, claiming she was late and that she was sorry she didn't have time to meet his 'new friends'. She did, however, give Niall a quick hug and a kiss on the cheek as well on the way by because he had been here a couple times over the years for school projects.

"Mate, how old is your sister?" Harry asked, watching her as she walked down the driveway to her old beat up car. Louis snorted from somewhere behind Zayn but it was Niall who spoke up first.

"Doesn't matter, she's taken and you're not defiling any of Zayn's sisters. They're all too sweet." Niall said and Zayn was thankful because he wasn't so sure he'd be able to tell Harry this, at least not convincingly.

"Mum! Zaynie brought friends!" Safaa announced, coming around the corner and running over to hug Zayn's waist as he kicked off his shoes. Zayn stroked her head and knelt down in front of her. She was his youngest sister and she hadn't gotten to that age where she was too cool for her older brother yet. He hoped she never did.

"What are you still doing up, love?" He asked, forgetting about the boys behind him.

"It's the weekend, Zaynie. Mum says I don't have to go to bed until ten!" She said excitedly. Zayn chuckled, turning his expression into an excited one.

"Wow! Aren't you lucky?" Zayn said. It was easy at home, he didn't have to worry so much about what his family thought of him and it was easy to forget that he had company.

"More like annoying." Waliyha said from down the hall. Waliyha was a few years younger than him and was definitely in that stage of being to cool for her family. Zayn remembers going through that phase as well.

"No! You're annoying!" Safaa exclaimed, turning from Zayn and chasing Waliyha down the hall. Zayn sighed and stood, just remembering the boys behind him. He felt a slight blush cross his face as he turned to look at the four boys, all of their faces amused.

"Sorry." Zayn mumbled and started to lead them down the hall.

"It's okay, we've all got them." Liam replied, the boys following Zayn down the hall.

"I don't." Niall piped in smugly.

"Yeah, but you've always been the odd ball." Louis teased, earning a certain finger being raised in his direction.

"Niall!" Came a familiar shocked voice. Zayn lifted his head to see his mother standing in the door to the kitchen. She was giving Niall a warning look to which he dropped his hand and smiled sheepishly. "Is that anyway to treat your friends?" She asked in a knowing voice.

"Yeah," Louis said, smacking Niall in the arm. "Is that anyway to treat your best mate?" Niall glared at a smug looking Louis then turned to Zayn's mum with an apologetic smile.

"Sorry, Mrs. Malik." Niall mumbled. Trisha chuckled slightly then took in the presence of all the boys.

"Oh, honey, are you throwing a party down there?" She joked because she knew how improbable that was.

"We're headed to a party actually, just figured Zayner wouldn't want to go in his uniform." Niall explained but by the way his mother's face changed, Zayn really wished he hadn't.

"You're going to a party?" She asked, completely shocked. Zayn sighed.

"Yes, Mum. It's not a big deal." Zayn explained. A big smile broke through his mother's face. "Mum, we're going downstairs." Zayn said immediately before she could start to cry or something embarrassing like that. Zayn opened the door to the basement, which was also his room because they didn't have enough rooms in the house, and motioned for the boys to go down. Before Zayn could follow them though, his wrist was being pulled back and then his Mum was talking.

"I'm so proud of you, baby." She said, smiling at Zayn. He caught Niall's amused look over his shoulder as he followed the rest of the boys down and felt his face getting hotter.

"Mum," He whined because she really didn't have to make a big deal about this.

"Oh, hush. I'm just saying it's nice to see you making friends and going out." She said, pushing Zayn's hair back. Zayn nodded, defeated. He knew she had every right to be happy he was actually spending time with people, Niall's the only person he's ever brought home and even that was only a couple times and only for homework. Zayn kissed his mother's cheek then joined the boys in the basement. Louis and Harry had made themselves comfortable on Zayn's bed; Harry sitting cross-legged and Louis sprawled right out on his back, taking up most of the room. Niall found a spot on the couch that lined the far wall by the small television and Liam stood, leaning against the wall by the bed.

"Do you get this whole place to yourself?" Louis asked, sitting up on his elbows and looking at Zayn. Zayn nodded, going over to his closet to get something to wear. He wasn't sure what to wear exactly but he figured it didn't much matter anyway. "Man, I wish I had a room like this, imagine the noise you could make and no one would hear you." At first Zayn assumed Louis was talking about the television or music but then it dawned on him what he really meant and was glad he was facing the closet. Over the past couple weeks he's learned that Louis really only ever talked about one thing.

"Louis." Liam said, sounding exasperated. Zayn tuned them out and picked out some black skinny jeans, a black t-shirt and a black jumper because he almost never went somewhere without covering up his arms, even his uniform was long sleeved. He turned around to go to the bathroom to change because he wasn't Liam and couldn't change in front of people. But before he got to the bathroom, Louis stopped him in the middle of his own sentence, jumping off the bed.

"Hold on, let me- Oh, Zayn. You're not seriously wearing that, are you?" He asked, crossing the room to inspect the bundle of clothing in his hands.

"Yes?" Zayn asked more than said, earning a look from Louis that asked if Zayn was serious. "No?" He asked this time, dropping the bundle on the floor. Louis snorted and turned on his heal, going to Zayn's closet.

"Lou, he can wear what he wants-"

"Hush, Liam." Louis cut Liam off, swinging the door to Zayn's closet open and rummaging through his clothes. "We need to make him look good, we need to put those cheekbones to good use." Louis rambled, making Zayn blush more. "Niall, be a dear and go see if one of Zayn's many sisters has hair gel or something." Niall pushed himself off the couch and made his way over to the stairs, giving Zayn a reassuring smile on the way by. Louis made an approving noise and slammed the door closed. In his hand he held a white t-shirt and a light blue jean jacket that he had gotten for Christmas last year from Doniya but never wore. Louis walked back over to Zayn, picked up the black jeans Zayn had picked out then shoved the clothing at Zayn and told him to change.

Zayn glanced at Harry who gave him a thumbs up, then to Liam who just shrugged and gave him a reassuring smile. With his shoulders slumped in defeat, Zayn took the clothes into the bathroom and changed out of his uniform. When he emerged he was immediately ushered back in by Louis, not even able to get a foot through the doorframe. Louis shut the door behind him and in his hand sat a jar of styling gel that Niall probably stole from the upstairs bathroom, no doubt belonging to one of his sisters. Without a word Louis backed Zayn up against the sink, unscrewing the cap to the gel and dipping his fingers in.

Zayn was actually a bit taller than Louis, so Louis had to reach up to run his fingers through the dark hair that laid flat on his head. He felt a little self-conscious with Louis pressed this close to him, their legs brushing sometimes with certain movements. Zayn hoped his hair didn't feel greasy or that his breath didn't smell bad. Louis didn't seem grossed out at all, his grey-blue eyes completely focused on the task at hand, whatever that was. He could feel Louis' fingers scratch at his scalp, the cold gel being slicked through his hair and thought that this really wasn't necessary because no one would take a second glance at Zayn anyway but didn't voice that thought. Somehow, he didn't think Louis would appreciate it.

"Alright, now we're getting places." Louis mumbled a few minutes later, looking over Zayn's hair before he turned Zayn around so he could see himself. Zayn looked... Decent. Louis had styled his hair up into a quiff and he had to admit, he looked fairly decent but he still didn't think anyone would give him the time of day, not that he would be able to ask for it. Louis sighed.

"If only you weren't already spoken for." He mumbled, clapping Zayn on the shoulder, then dropping his hands. What had he meant by that? "Okay, brush your teeth and then let's go." He instructed, opening the door slightly and slipping out as if he didn't want anyone peeking through. Zayn didn't question why he had to brush his teeth and just did, grabbing his tooth brush and squirting some paste on the tip. He wasn't sure how he felt about this situation. He wasn't used to having people trying to make him look good or trying to get him to come to a party. Usually they accepted no and moved on, if they even offered. He also wasn't sure about his outfit. Zayn usually stuck to clothes that didn't draw attention to him because, yeah, he kind of like being invisible. He wore baggy, dark clothes that covered everything, even when it was hot out. He didn't want to draw any sort of attention to any part of himself.

Zayn spit into the sink, rinsing off the brush, then rinsing out his mouth. He wiped his mouth with the nearby towel, looking himself over one more time in the mirror before opening the door and stepping out. Harry and Niall had turned on the television and had some football game on, the dull noise being drowned out by Louis' constant babble about how he planned to get properly drunk tonight and hopefully find someone to hook up with. Liam stood listening, nodding along with Louis because that's just who Liam was. He listened intently to everything, even if it was mindless chatter. They hadn't noticed Zayn step out and he wasn't sure what he should do. He thought briefly about making a run for it but remembered this was his house and figured that probably wouldn't work, so he just kind of stood there until Niall glanced over and did a double take.

"Whoa-ho, Malik!" He nearly shouted, making Zayn flinch. He didn't want to upset his mother. "Look at you, you look fit." Niall complimented, looking Zayn over. Zayn felt his cheeks heating up as he looked down at his attire. He didn't think he looked that good. Niall's words caught everyone's attention and they all turned to look at Zayn. Harry did a quick wolf whistle, sending Zayn a wink and a grin while Louis just beamed, obviously proud of his work. Liam on the other hand just stood there, staring at Zayn. Zayn sort of panicked because he knew he didn't look that good, it was written on Liam's face and now he just wanted to go change because if he was honest, if Liam didn't like it, there was no point in wearing it.

"Guys aren't usually my thing, but I'd consider it." Harry teased, looking Zayn over and giving him an appreciative nod.

"You're damn right you would. What have I been saying this whole time?" Louis asked, asking them something Zayn was not aware of. "What do you think, Li? Pretty hot, yeah?" Louis asked, turning to Liam with a devilish grin on his face. Liam blinked a couple times, shaking his head before turning to Louis with a confused look on his face.

"What?" He asked, clearing his throat when he found it sounded a bit thick.

"What do you think of Zayn's new look? Pretty fit, right?" Louis asked slowly, smirking at Liam. Liam looked back to Zayn, his eyes roaming over Zayn's body, and then he was nodding.

"Yeah. Really fit." Liam answered quietly, clearing his throat again and folding his arms over his chest. Niall let out a cackle and Harry hid a grin behind his hand but Zayn was oblivious to the joke because, had Liam Payne just said Zayn was fit? Louis grinned and clapped his hands together.

"Okay, let's get this show on the road now that everyone looks decent." He said and made his way over to Zayn where Zayn was still looking at Liam, a little dumbfounded at the moment. Zayn assumed Louis would have kept going, passing Zayn but he didn't. Louis stopped behind Zayn and then he was pulling down the collar to the jacket Zayn was wearing and gasping. Zayn jerked away from Louis, shrinking back until his back hit the wall.

"Oh, shit." Louis said, closing the newly found distance between them and grabbing for the jacket.

"No," Zayn said and tried to back away again but the stupid wall was in his way.

"Oh, come on. Let me see!" Louis said excitedly, grabbing for the jacket again. The others boys gathered around, a little confused by the commotion. Zayn shook his head, hugging his arms to his chest to prevent his jacket from being removed.

"Lou, what are you-" Liam began but Louis cut him off.

"He has tattoos! I want to see!" Louis exclaimed, still trying to pry the jacket off. Liam grabbed Louis by the shoulders and pulled him away, slipping his arms around his to pin Louis' arms down.

"Louis, stop acting like a child. If he doesn't want you to see, he doesn't want you to see. Leave him alone." Liam said, struggling against a squirming Louis. Zayn eased up, noticing the rest of the boys weren't trying to rip his jacket off. Eventually Louis stopped squirming and then Liam let him go, Louis huffing and straightening out his clothes.

"Why can't we see?" Louis asked with a pout. Zayn looked to each of them, their expression curious but not expectant. Zayn sighed and slumped against the wall. His tattoos weren't something he liked to show off. They were personal. He knew that it sounded kind of silly to get tattoos on his body and expect to keep them private but he didn't care.

"Louis, leave him alone. Zayn, you don't have to show us." Liam said though Zayn could tell he was just as curious as Louis. Zayn glanced at Harry and Niall, Harry seeming curious but like he didn't want to push Zayn and Niall seeming a little surprised but slightly amused. Niall gave him a quick nod, telling him that it was okay, whatever he decided and he didn't know why that decided it for him, maybe because it felt like maybe they wouldn't judge him, but the next thing he knew he was slipping out of his jacket.

There were collective gasps all around as Zayn bunched the jacket in his hands and held it front of his stomach. He knew what they would see without looking down; his right arm completely covered in ink and the beginning of a possible sleeve on his left wrist. He hadn't decided what he wanted to do with that one yet but he knew one day it would probably grow into a full sleeve, similar to his right arm. Of course he had more on his shoulders and chest but there was no way he was taking off his shirt in front of them. They'll have to be happy with this.

"Sick." Harry said, giving another appreciative nod.

"Nice." Niall added, grinning at Zayn.

"I knew you weren't as goody goody as you seemed." Louis informed him, looking his tattoos over. Zayn couldn't help but look to Liam to see what he thought of them. He knew Liam had a couple, not nearly as many as him, Harry or Louis, but he still wasn't sure how he'd feel about Zayn having so many. Liam's eyes were locked on his arms, his bottom lip trapped between his teeth, before his eyes flicked up and met Zayn's, his bottom lip being pulled out when a smile crept across his lips.

"They're amazing, Zayn." Liam assured. Zayn knew he was blushing and normally he would have ducked his head to hide it but he didn't this time because Liam was looking at him like he was something, like he wasn't just a shy kid that had to teach him how to make coffee, like he wasn't just the kid he never noticed and is trying to make up for that. He was looking at him like he was a friend and that had Zayn smiling back at him with no hesitation.

"Shall we?" Niall asked after a moment of silence. The boys agreed so Zayn slipped back into his jacket because he still wasn't ready to just show off all of his tattoos. The boys made their way upstairs, Liam motioning for him to go before him. Upstairs Zayn tried his best to sneak out without his Mum seeing them because she would definitely have something to say about what he was wearing but Safaa had spotted them and announced that they were leaving so his Mum came running.

"Oh, look at you." His Mum cooed, her hand coming up to cover her mouth as she regarded her son. Zayn groaned and opened the door, gesturing for the snickering boys to leave.

"Bye, Mum. I'll be back... Whenever, I don't know." Zayn said honestly, not giving her a chance to respond before he too was out the door, closing it behind him.

"Aw, look at you!" Louis mimicked his Mum as they headed to the car, though his voice sounded nothing like his mother and more like he was talking to an infant. Louis went to pinch his cheeks as he did so but Zayn ducked away and Liam stepped in between them, protecting Zayn from his cheeks being pinched. "Oh, sure. Run to your bodyguard, you big chicken." Louis huffed, backing down because he knew there was no way he'd win against Liam. Zayn giggled slightly, momentarily not concerned with what Louis might think as he stuck his tongue out at him from behind Liam. He regretted it as soon as he did it because Louis went still, stopping in his tracks and blinking at Zayn. He shouldn't have done that. He should have just let Louis pinch his cheeks, but he just forgot. He forgot that he was an outsider here, that he really was just a kid that Liam was trying to make up for and he had no right to be being so rude. As always, he's fucked everything up.

"Did you just-" Louis blinked again, raising a pointed finger to Zayn. "Liam, he just-"

"Looks like even Zayn can only put up with your shit for so long." Liam commented, grinning at Zayn then Louis.

"That's it," Louis said, grinning as well and dashing forward, ducking around Liam and heading right for Zayn. Zayn isn't proud to admit that he let out a small yelp when Louis' arms wrapped around his waist as he picked Zayn up and threw him over his shoulder. Zayn thought he should be scared but with the way the boys were laughing, and not at him, had him giggling as well and looking to Liam for help. Liam chuckled and held out his arms for Zayn to grab onto. Zayn did and then he was being pulled from Louis' shoulder and into Liam's arms where Zayn got what he had been dreaming about for so long; Liam's arms wrapped around him, pinning his own arms to his chest and being trapped in Liam. Zayn didn't mind, he didn't mind one bit and he was surprised to see that maybe Liam didn't mind either when he looked up and saw Liam's brown eyes locked on his, amusement shadowed by a slight nervousness that was turning into a calm soft gaze as he kept looking at Zayn.

Zayn was trapped, he was definitely trapped and he wasn't talking about Liam's arms either. Zayn was trapped in Liam's eyes, his gaze holding his and his breath ghosting over Zayn's skin, making him shiver. Zayn had to have his head tilted slightly to look at Liam and Zayn couldn't help but notice how much he liked that. He liked that he was smaller than Liam, he liked the way he fit against Liam. He liked the way Liam felt against him and he just liked how safe he felt. He didn't feel like he had to hide right now. He didn't feel like Liam would judge him or laugh at him. He felt good, he felt safe right here in Liam's arms and he really didn't want to be anywhere else.

"Oi! Let's go! You can get a room at the cabin!" Louis' voice came, making Zayn jump and break the hold Liam had on him. Zayn ducked his head to hide the blush he was certain that was making it's way across his face.

"Sorry." Liam mumbled, his head also ducked as he shuffled over to the SUV. Zayn thinks he should stop interacting with people all together, Liam was probably more than a little creeped out.

~

Zayn was way in over his head right now. He didn't know why he had agreed to this. He shouldn't have, he was so out of place here. There was people everywhere, too many people. There were people dancing to the blaring music, there were people playing drinking games, cheering loudly whenever the ball landed in a cup. There were people sitting on couches, passing something small and white between them and smoking it. There were people slipping in and out of bedrooms, always coming out with ruffled hair and smudged lipstick so Zayn could easily guess what they were doing. The air smelled of alcohol and sweat, making Zayn want spray the place down with a bottle of Febreeze. He was constantly being bumped into, not able to hear the apologies if there were any.

As suspected, Zayn remained an invisible body, leaning against the wall, looking out to the crowd of drunken college kids, wishing he was anywhere but here. He knew Niall had said if he wanted to leave, they could but Zayn didn't want to be that guy to ruin everyone else's fun just because he wasn't having any, they probably wouldn't bring Zayn along to anything ever again. Zayn also couldn't find any of them even if he did want to tell them he wanted to leave. Harry had disappeared almost immediately, slipping his arm around the first girl he saw and walking off with her. Niall was the next to go, giving Zayn's shoulder a reassuring squeeze before going to join in on a game of beer pong. Louis had dragged Liam off next, Liam only sparing Zayn a quick over the shoulder smile before disappearing into the crowd. He's been standing alone ever since, barley with the guys for half an hour before they all left.

He didn't blame them, he knew he wasn't the most exciting guy around. He was just disappointed that he was stuck by himself, leaning against a wall where no one paid him any attention. He contemplated going to get a drink but he wasn't much of a drinker and he assumed the only other thing he'd be able to find was water and that just wasn't motivating enough for him to leave the comfort of his wall and brave the crowd of horny drunks.

"Zayn, why are you just standing here?" Came a voice from beside him. Zayn turned to see Louis at his side, his cheeks flushed and his skin looking a bit clammy. He was probably drunk, or at least tipsy, especially since he was clutching a beer in his hand.

"Um, I don't know anyone." Zayn replied but Louis only looked back at him confused.

"What? I can't hear you!" Louis shouted over the music. Zayn repeated his reply, trying to speak louder but apparently it didn't work because the next thing he knew he was being pulled into a room. "What?" Louis asked again, walking into the bedroom he had pulled Zayn into, the now closed door muffling the music.

"Um, I- I don't know anyone." Zayn mumbled, standing awkwardly in the middle of the room. It was a pretty empty room, a double bed in the middle against the left wall, a large window on the far wall with a dresser underneath it and a desk in the corner. Louis took a seat on the bed and looked to Zayn a little expectantly.

"Well that's why you talk to people, get to know people." Louis explained. Zayn bit his tongue from saying what he wanted, that he couldn't just walk up to someone and talk to them. Louis wouldn't understand. Louis sighed and patted the spot next to him, telling Zayn to have a seat. Hesitantly, Zayn made his way over, trying not to think about what the ruffled blankets meant, and gingerly sat next to Louis. "You could have at least found Liam. He's been wanting to hang out with you all night." Louis said, sliding closer to Zayn.

"What?" Zayn asked, a little confused.

"Liam, he's been waiting for you to find him." Louis explained. Why would Liam be waiting on Zayn?

"Why didn't he just stay?" Zayn asked. It was weird, although Louis intimidated Zayn quite a bit, he actually didn't have much troubles speaking to him. He felt like Louis wouldn't care much about what he said and Zayn knew from past experience, if he did have a problem with what Zayn did or said, he'd tell him so, and he liked that. He really liked that.

"Because I dragged him off to prove a point." Louis stated. Zayn could feel his body pressed to his side, a warm presence that he wasn't sure made him more calm or panicked.

"What point?" Zayn asked, looking to Louis and finding that he was right there.

"That you'd come looking for him." Louis stated simply. Zayn could hear the slur of his words there, though it was well hidden, he could still tell. "You kind of proved me wrong though. I'm a little upset about that, to be honest." Louis admitted, resting his chin on Zayn's shoulder. Why did Louis think Zayn would have come looking for Liam? Zayn wanted to keep his distance because he didn't want to creep Liam out anymore and since he didn't put up much of a fight to stay with Zayn or tell Zayn to come with them, he figured that's what he wanted.

"Why would I go looking for him?" Zayn questioned, looking down to his lap where his fingers had begun nervously twitching.

"You know why and I'm not going to sit here and be all mushy about your feelings for Liam but I will tell you this," Louis said, making Zayn blush profusely. How did he know? "Liam really likes you, okay? He likes you, he wants to kiss you and hold you, he wants you all to himself, but he's afraid you're upset with him." Louis said, rendering Zayn completely speechless. Liam likes him? Liam likes him? No. No, there's no way. Why would Liam like him? Why would anyone like Zayn? He's quiet and can't even speak to people. He's pretty boring if you ask him, he stays at home and watches superhero movies, he works at a coffee shop and wants to go into a profession he has no hope of doing. He's a nobody, he's invisible.

"W- Why- Why w- would he -he think that?" Zayn stuttered, trying to keep up with Louis even though he didn't fully believe Louis at the moment.

"I'm still not entirely sure- Something about being a self-centered little shit and not noticing you until now." Louis said. "Though I didn't notice you either and we've apparently been going to the same school for a while. Shit happens." Louis shrugged.

"I'm not- I'm not upset with him." Zayn explained. He wasn't. He didn't blame Liam for not noticing him, he had worked pretty hard to become this invisible. At first he thought it'd be better but somewhere along the way it started working a little too well and Zayn had no way of undoing it.

"I didn't think you were but now Liam is freaking out, thinking he's fucked up his chances with you before he even knew you and now I need you to go tell him he's wrong." Louis said and wait, what?

"What?" Zayn asked, whipping his head to the side to look at an amused looking Louis. Zayn ignored the lack of distance between them and so did Louis and just kind of stared into his blue eyes, his heart thumping away with the just the thought of telling Liam he's had a crush on him for years.

"You heard me," Louis said, a sly grin spreading across his lips. "You need-"

"Zayn?" Came a voice along with the opening sound of a door and then Zayn was turning his head to see a very shocked looking Liam.

"Ah, shit." Zayn heard Louis mumbled and Zayn could understand why. He knew this probably didn't look the greatest; Zayn and Louis sitting close on a bed, their faces inches apart and, when did Louis' hand get on his knee?

"Liam," Louis began but then Liam was backing away.

"S-sorry. Sorry." Liam mumbled, mindlessly reaching back for the door until his fingers closed around the knob. "I'm sorry, I was just- Sorry." He said one final time and then faster than Zayn thought possible, he was gone, slamming the door behind him. Zayn didn't notice when Louis had moved away from him but he now noticed the heat from his body was gone and when he looked over he saw Louis rubbing the heel of his palm into his eye socket, letting out a frustrated sigh.

"Now you just know he's going to find a way to make this my fault." Louis mumbled, sighing again then looking up and blinking at Zayn. "What are you still doing here?" Louis demanded incredulously.

"What?" Zayn asked, confused.

"Go get him! The man was crushed!" Louis said as if Zayn should have known this already. Louis gave him all of two seconds before he was pushing at Zayn to get him to stand. "Go! Tell him how you feel, kiss him or fuck him, I don't care, just go!" Louis said, pushing Zayn toward the door. Zayn isn't sure why he decided to listen to Louis. All his senses were screaming no, that this was probably some sick joke bit if there was a possibility that it wasn't and he just let Liam walk out of his life because he was too afraid, well, he wasn't sure he could live with himself if he did that.

Zayn flung the door open, the music and smell of alcohol hitting him like a brick. He glanced around in search for the familiar head of hair that was kept short on the sides and longer on the top but he didn't see anything in the midst of everyone dancing and moving about the cabin. He quickly made for the kitchen, politely trying to squeeze his way through the crowd but when he got there, Liam was nowhere to be seen. He pushed his way back through the crowd, too impatient now to be polite and it's not like any of these people were sober enough to care. He kept his eye open for Liam as he did, catching sight of Harry chatting up a blonde girl. Harry locked eyes with him, smiled and pointed out the door as if he knew exactly what was going on even though there was no way he could have. Zayn glanced over to where Harry had pointed, seeing Liam just leaving the cabin, heading outside to get away from the crowd.

Zayn pushed his way through with more purpose, needing to get to Liam to explain that what he saw hadn't been what it looked like. He didn't know why he felt like he desperately needed Liam to understand this, Liam wasn't his but he was still pushing through a crowd of drunken people like a bowling ball hitting the pins at the end of the lane. When he finally got outside he looked around, there were a couple people who had stepped outside to get some fresh air, err, as fresh as it can get when they had a cigarette between their lips. Zayn spotted Liam stumbling up to his SUV and immediately made his way over there.

Liam was leaning against the SUV, his palms on the hood, his arms outstretched and his head hanging between them as if he were just trying to catch a breath after a long jog. Zayn was a little hesitant to approach him now, feeling as though he shouldn't interrupt, like this wasn't really his place to talk to Liam right now. Why had he listened to Louis? Why did he think he could do this? He couldn't, that's just it. No matter how much he liked Liam and no matter how much someone told him that Liam liked him as well, he couldn't just go up to him and pour his heart out. He already felt faint from his heart pounding and his head spinning.

"You didn't have to follow me out." Liam mumbled, not even turning around. "I'll be fine." He added, straightening up but still not looking at Zayn. Zayn should say something, he knew he should say something but he couldn't make himself speak. Liam sighed and finally turned around, meeting Zayn's eyes briefly before they fell the gravel beneath their feet. Liam looked a little lost, a little... broken, and it hurt to see him like that. Was Zayn really the cause of it? "I just- I don't understand." Liam spoke quietly, his arms crossed in front of his chest.

"I mean- I understand, I just- I- I don't know." He continued, sighing in defeat. "I get that- like, you hate me, right? And you should, I- I ignored you for how many years so I shouldn't expect to just waltz into your life and expect everything to be fine." Liam was having troubles deciding on where to look; at Zayn or the gravel, his eyes flicking between both. "But- Why, Louis? Why Louis? I mean, he's my best mate and I love him, I just- I know him. I know all he wants is a quick fuck and then he'll be done with you and you deserve so much better. You deserve someone who wants to be with you for a long time. Someone who's going to show you how special you are and I- I think I could do that. I really do. But, I know I've fucked that up already, I just don't want to see you get hurt by Louis." Liam said, finally meeting Zayn's eyes and holding it for more than one second.

Zayn should really say something. He needs to say something. Liam had just poured his heart and it was obvious that it was all true, that he really did believe Zayn was upset with him and that he didn't want Louis to just use him and dump him, not that that was what Louis was doing but Liam didn't know that. Zayn should really say something, he wanted to say something so why wouldn't his lips move?

"I'm sorry, Zayn." Liam went on since Zayn was just standing there like a deer caught in the headlights of a car, staring wide eyed at Liam. "I really am. I don't know how I went all that time not noticing you. I really don't because all I've been able to think about since I walked into the coffee shop is you. I can't get you out of my head and I know I don't deserve a chance but, I need you to know how special you are because I know you don't believe it. I can see that you think you're not worth anyone's time when in reality, I would give all my time just so you can see how amazing you are." Liam said and yeah, Zayn felt like he was going to cry. No one's ever said that to him or anything even remotely close to it. He didn't think it was true, but it was so nice to hear that someone thought it was true. It had a warm feeling spreading through him, a warm wanted feeling and it was so nice, he didn't want it to go away.

"I just wanted you to know that. You- you can go back to Louis if you want. I'll be fine." Liam said, taking a step back and then fully turning around and walking away from Zayn.

Zayn should really say something. Was he really going to let Liam just walk away after that? Was he really going to let the boy he's had a crush on for ages just walk away after admitting all of that? He really needed to say something, now.

"Liam?" Zayn said quietly, his voice small and unsure but Liam heard it. Liam heard it and froze in his spot before turning to look at him, a small hopeful look in his eyes. "I-" Zayn felt like his heart was going to explode from his chest it was beating so hard. Zayn knew what he needed to say, it was just saying it that was the problem and Liam was too far away for his liking. "Come back?" He asked quietly, sighing in relief when Liam made a few cautious steps towards Zayn. "I- I'm not upset. With you." Zayn said so quietly he was honestly surprised Liam heard him at all.

"You're not?" Liam asked. Zayn shook his head slightly, looking up at him through his lashes.

"No. I never was." Zayn admitted. Liam thought for a moment, his eyes never leaving Zayn's now.

"But, I just- I thought because you never really talked to me... I thought you were." Liam admitted, looking down briefly, scuffing his foot through the gravel, then looking back at Zayn.

"Do I really talk to anyone?" Zayn asked, maybe with a bit of a teasing tone but it wasn't intentional. Liam looked down again, this time not looking back up.

"You talk to Louis." He said and Zayn could hear the jealousy in his voice and had to bite back a smile.

"You're right. It's easy to talk to Louis though. He's honest, he tells me what he thinks and I don't have to guess. That's it, though." Zayn admitted, feeling quite proud of himself because he's never told anyone anything remotely close to what his problem was. "There's nothing between us, in the room- He was just- He was trying to get me to tell you, to tell you that I- I-" Zayn was getting nervous again, his temporary confidence disintegrating.

"That you what?" Liam asked, hope in his voice. Zayn sighed, meeting Liam's gaze again.

"You know what." Zayn grumbled instead because he could tell Liam did know, he was just trying to make Zayn say it now.

"True... But I'd really like to hear you say it." Liam mumbled, taking a couple steps closer to Zayn. Zayn remained silent, watching as Liam got closer and closer until there was barley an inch of space between them. "You know I know now, and I'm not running, am I? Why are you so afraid?" Liam asked softly. Zayn looked down between them because he couldn't explain why he was so afraid, old habits maybe, but he still couldn't get over it. Liam reached up and fitted his finger under Zayn's chin, lifting it so Zayn was forced to look at Liam who was smiling from ear to ear now. "Okay, you don't have to say it right now, but I'd like to hear it one day, okay?" Liam said softly, his grin turning into a small, soft smile.

"Okay." Zayn said quietly, blinking up at Liam.

"I'm going to kiss you, okay?" Liam asked, leaning in slightly but waiting for Zayn.

"Okay." Zayn repeated, not able to do much more with his heart still pounding and his head spinning because, was this really happening?

"Okay." Liam whispered right before Zayn felt his lips brush softly against his. And that's all it was really, a soft brush of Liam's lips on his, soft, warm and light but still leaving Zayn more than breathless and wanting so much more though he wasn't sure how to ask for it. Zayn's eyes had fluttered closed so when he opened them he was surprised to see Liam looking back at him, his deep brown eyes filled with so much emotion; happiness, desire, lust, it was all there, mirroring exactly what Zayn was feeling, and it was all because of Zayn and he supposes that's what gave him the confidence to close the distance between their lips again, pressing them together more firmly this time and enjoying the feeling of Liam kissing him back, his hand coming up to cup Zayn's cheek gently.

They were broken apart by a couple wolf whistles and cheers of joy coming from behind Liam, though Zayn was too short to see over Liam, but he had a pretty good idea of who it was. Liam pulled away, grinning and resting his forehead against Zayn's. Zayn grinned right back, honestly just happy in this moment. He didn't care about the boys taking the piss right now, he didn't care that they had witnessed something so private, he just didn't care because he was so happy. He had gotten all he's ever wanted and more, he's got Liam, hopefully because otherwise this was a really cruel thing to do, and he's got new friends that he could easily see himself getting comfortable with enough to at least participate in their conversations.

Liam chuckled when they continued to cheer for them, slipping his hand around Zayn's waist and turning towards them, sticking up a certain finger in their direction that Zayn was sure his mother had given Niall shit for doing not too long ago but he supposed she wasn't here anyway. Harry blew a kiss at them in return, Louis sending Zayn a wink and Niall just standing there with a proud expression on his face, grinning at Zayn like he had just graduated or something.

"Come on! Let's get out of here, yeah? This party is boring!" Louis called out, making his way over to the SUV. Liam looked down to Zayn to see if that was okay, making Zayn smile and nod because he's been ready to go for hours and then Liam was leaning down and kissing Zayn again and yeah, he could get used to that.

"I think they'd rather go back in and find an empty room, Lou." Niall commented, making the three other boys break out in laughter and Zayn's face break out in a blush.

"You're just mad you couldn't pick anyone up tonight." Liam commented, leading Zayn over to the door and opening it for him.

"I could of if I wanted to, no one interested me." Niall defended.

"Yeah, because that brunette you spent an hour trying to chat up didn't have you interested at all." Louis commented, hopping into the SUV. Niall blushed this time, flipping Louis off for the second time tonight and remained silent.

"I don't see you leaving with anyone, Lou." Harry noted, trying to defend Niall as he climbed in beside him. Zayn climbed into the passenger seat, Liam shutting the door behind him, then jogging around to the other side.

"That's because I was too busy making sure this happened." Louis stated, gesturing to Zayn and Liam as Liam hopped into the driver's seat. Zayn couldn't help but look over at Liam at that, smiling shyly as Liam reached over and grabbed Zayn's hand, lacing their fingers together and starting up the SUV.

"Aw, man... Now we're going to have to watch them be all cute and shit all the time." Niall grumbled playfully, grinning at Zayn who was brave enough to glare back at him.

"Yup, you might want to leave us be for a while." Liam informed them, sending Zayn a wink that had his face growing even hotter.

"Yeah, yeah, just keep it in your pants till we're gone at least." Louis grumbled, sinking down into the back seat and leaning on Harry's shoulder, looking about ready to fall asleep. It's not that Zayn didn't want to do what they were all suggesting they were going to do, it's just... He wasn't sure he was ready for that. Just telling Liam, or, not technically telling Liam, how he felt was a huge step for him. He was certain he wasn't ready for much more, he just hoped Liam understood that.

"Don't worry, we're just joking." Liam said quietly, noticing Zayn's discomfort. Zayn smiled at him, giving his hand a squeeze. Liam squeezed his hand back, leaning over to kiss Zayn's cheek and Zayn was right; he could definitely get used to this. All of this.