Work Text:
"Good night, my little Spark Knight."
Kaeya bends down over a children sized bed - Klee's bed - to kiss the top of the sleeping girl's hair.
He tucks the blankets tight around her little body, strokes her hair one last time. He makes sure to mark the page of the book he was reading her, before finally getting up and making his exit.
He and Klee have been out all day, it's no wonder the girl is already sleeping so soundly. They'd left for Windrise this morning, and have spent the entire day picking flowers, chasing crystal flies and looking at the fish swimming through the river (no blasting occured, much to Klee's dismay). The awe on her face as she chased the little flying creatures plunged him right back into his own summers spent with a certain redhead.
The memories linger in his mind as he makes his way through the Knights Headquarters, heading towards Albedo's lab. Klee's mentioned she hasn't seen him in a few days, so has Kaeya, and although he would never admit it out loud, he misses the blonde alchemist.
That's how he finds himself in front of his door. He knocks, and doesn't bother waiting for an answer to enter the room. As per usual, the alchemist doesn't look up from his work table, nor does he give the fellow captain any signs of acknowledgement. Kaeya gracefully leans against one of the shelves by the door without a word. He knows better than to disrupt Albedo's focus on his experiments by now.
The latter appears to be to be examining a piece of starsilver ore, the soft sun rays coming from the window catching on its rough surface as the alchemist carefully turns it in his hands. All of a sudden, the piece of raw ore morphs before his eyes, a perfect sphere now sitting in Albedo's palm.
Kaeya whistles, impressed. That seems to finally get the other's attention. That, and the fact his experiment now appears to be over, at least for now.
"Kaeya," he greets him, turning towards him.
"Chief Alchemist," Kaeya greets him back. "I'm not interrupting, am I?"
"If interrupting me truly was a worry of yours, you would actually wait for permission to be granted to you before coming in," Albedo states.
Kaeya lets a small smile adorn his mouth.
"And if you truly minded, I would've found your door to be locked," he retorts. "That was rather impressive just now. Would you care explaining to me what it is you're working on that's been keeping you so busy? Klee's been asking for you, you know."
Albedo sighs, guilt spilling over his features like drops of ink at the mention of his sister.
"I'll make it up to her. I just need to get through the last of my research."
Kaeya hums, waiting for Albedo to continue.
"As you're aware, I am quite skilled in the art of Khemia. But what I am currently researching is the malleability of non living materials. I am merely looking to better my knowledge of them, as it may prove useful in future experiments. One way to achieve that is by practicing my ability to reshape them until I am inanely familiar with their composition."
"I'm taking it things are going the way you expected them to?"
Albedo sighs, turning around to pick a nearly translucent, light blue crystal, a purple shade seemingly glowing at its center.
"It is," he confirms. "It's time consuming is all."
"Is there anything I can do to help?" Kaeya offers. He already knows Albedo will turn him down. He always does, despite Kaeya's insistence. Not that it stops him from offering his assistance any chance he gets.
"Actually, there is."
Kaeya stills. Now, that was unexpected.
"Would you mind giving me some inspiration? I haven't thought of a subject to shape this one yet." Albedo continues. "Something that requires details and finesse would be preferable."
The cavalry captain thinks back to the crystal flies he and Klee had observed earlier that day, the crystal in Albedo's hand a similar color. He thinks of the tales from his childhood he'd told the little Spark Knight. Red flashes in his mind.
"Why, I think I have just the prompt for you."
Kaeya doesn't meet the chief alchemist again until the following week, the latter having, according to his assistants, gone to Dragonspine to pursue his experiments.
It's the same assistants who'd let him know that morning that Albedo was finally back in Mondstadt.
And so, Kaeya once again finds himself standing before the alchemist's door. It's his office's this time. He knocks, and to humour the other, actually waits for permission to enter.
He waits a minute, then two.
"Come in" Albedo finally says.
Some come in Kaeya does. Albedo levels him with an unimpressed look as soon as the blue haired man crosses the threshold. He's sitting at his desk, documents laying hazardously all over its surface.
"Kaeya. I meant to go find you." Albedo deliberately avoids commenting on Kaeya's antics.
The latter chuckles.
"My, Albedo, did you miss me?"
Once again, the alchemist ignores him.
"Actually," he starts, "I meant to give you something."
He opens the top drawer of his desk and fishes something out of it. Kaeya gets closer.
"Hold out your hand."
The blue haired man complies. Albedo places the object in his face up palm. The slight brush of the tip of his pale fingers against his tan skin has him shivering, yearning for more, but he doesn't get to linger on it, for his brain seems to slow to a stop as his eyes settle on the small crystal cradled in his hand.
"You actually did it," he breathes, reverence tinting his voice, awed by the small art piece. Because art it is. I don't think you'll be requiring any more practice, Kaeya thinks. "It's stunning, Albedo. Thank you."
"Please, don't mention it. As I mentioned, I needed the practice. If anything, I should be the one giving you my thanks for your assistance." He pauses. "May I ask you something?"
Kaeya acquiesces.
"What made you think of this? Your prompt, I mean."
Kaeya stills. As he often does around Albedo now, it would seem.
"Ah. I just happened to remember Diluc and I used to love collecting them when we were younger." He pauses, giving himself a moment to recollect his thoughts. "His birthday is coming up, I suppose it's to blame for the memories I have been revisiting as of late."
"I see," Albedo simply says.
Kaeya goes to sit on the couch near the alchemist's desk. He contemplates the crystal in his hand.
"He would've absolutely loved this as a child." His voice is soft, albeit bittersweet.
Albedo picks up on it.
"You could gift it to him. I truly wouldn't mind. His birthday is coming up, you've mentioned?"
Kaeya internally curses him.
"Maybe," he chuckles half-heartedly. He doesn't say anything else, and Albedo doesn't push. He simply goes back to writing his reports, knowing to let the idea simmer on its own in Kaeya's head.
The room is silent, save for the sound of graphite meeting paper.
"I don't think it would be welcome," Kaeya finally lets out. His voice is unusually quiet. "Diluc and I didn't part on good terms," he continues. "He might tolerate me now, but I've betrayed his trust. He is already being kind enough towards me as things now stand. I wouldn't want to take advantage of it. Not when I don't even deserve it."
Albedo sets the pen down. The room is plunged in silence once more.
“Kaeya.”
The aforementioned lifts his head, his lone eye cautiously meeting Albedo’s. Teal meeting blue. The alchemist is staring at him with an intensity usually reserved to his research, his eyes searching Kaeya’s, as if he was a puzzle to be solved. He might have been able to succeed in this endeavor, had they met earlier, Kaeya thinks. When he still had enough undamaged pieces left to mend back together.
“Kaeya,” Albedo repeats, voice firm yet soft, as it always seems to be when addressing him. “Why do you suppose Master Diluc tolerates your presence at the tavern? I don’t know exactly what went down between you, nor do I know him well. But I know you. And based on the way you’ve described him in the past, he does not strike me as someone who would put up with any unwanted company.” He pauses, as if to get his point across. “Most importantly, I know you are not the type to go out of your way chasing after people you know don’t feel about you the same way you feel about them.”
He gives Kaeya a pointed look.
The captain tightly grips the blanket covering his lap, eyes blankly staring in front of him. Oxygen suddenly seems to be in short supply, as he desperately tries to think of anything, anything at all, that would even just momentarily distract him from Albedo’s impromptu speech, and the panic that had started to make its nest inside his ribcage. He knew. Of course he knew. How could he not? The chief alchemist always indulged him. He never complained of any of his odd antics, sometimes even entertained them. Kaeya had known ever since he’d caught the alchemist openly staring at him during meetings. Ever since Albedo had taken to splaying a spare quilt on the couch of his office after the cavalry captain had - allegedly accidentally - fallen asleep twice on it, a wordless invitation for Kaeya to make his way into Albedo’s valued space.
Kaeya isn’t stupid, and neither is Albedo. But he’d never thought the alchemist would ever acknowledge whatever this was between them. He’d foolishly thought they were on the same page. That this never was to be mentioned, as was their shared knowledge of the other belonging to Khaenri‘ah.
Wood scrapes the hard floor.
After all, Kaeya thinks, he is unlovable, broken beyond repair. And Albedo has never seemed to be one to seek the efforts a relationship entails. Or so, Kaeya has mistakenly assumed. Gone is their unspoken agreement. Albedo has just crossed the invisible line Kaeya thought would always safely keep them from venturing too far.
Footsteps.
When had he let his guard down? Why has he ever let himself get as close to the alchemist as he is now? Albedo would soon see Kaeya for what he truly was. A nearly empty shell of a man. A poor excuse of a human being. Barely functional, a child abandoned by his father, a man disowned by his brother. It is clear to him that Albedo would be next to join this list as soon as he saw the ugly, tangled mess that was Kaeya. He’d see - he’d know, and he’ll leave, Albedo will leave me, as had so many others before him, Kaeya thinks, breathing speeding up, Albedo will leave, he’ll leave, and he’ll break the last of my mangled heart. Albedo, Albedo-
“Kaeya.”
His gaze sharply lifts up, meeting Albedo’s once again, this time right in front of him. The alchemist stands crouching before him. Kaeya inhales a sharp surprised breath. When had he moved from his desk? From this distance, he can discern the genuine concern in the other’s teal eyes. He didn’t know that he was worth being the one to have put it there. Kaeya ducks his head, the intensity of the other’s gaze too much for him to bear.
“Kaeya,” Albedo calls his name for the fourth time. “Look at me.” He ducks his head, eyes seeking to make contact with Kaeya’s once again. The latter gives in. He hasn’t felt as defenseless as he does now ever since that one rainy night, many, many years ago. Albedo’s intense stare alone strips him raw.
“Kaeya. Will you listen to me?”
A lone tear rolls down Kaeya’s cheek. Albedo brings his gloved hand up, gently wiping it away. His thumb softly traces his jawline, featherlight touch emblazing Kaeya’s nerves, before retreating along with his hand. The blue haired man shakes from the simple contact.
“You are worthy of love.”
Kaeya breaks. A tear, then two, followed by a single silent sob wrenching itself out of his struggling lungs. He curls in on himself, hands curled into fists, nails biting into his own skin, just as he used to do when he was younger and everything simply got too much. He’s familiar with the way he feels like his lungs are bound to collapse on themselves. With the way his heart seems seconds away from exploding in his chest. What he is not accustomed to, however, is someone calling his name in the midst of it all. A single finger enters Kaeya’s limited field of view, hesitantly hovering for a few seconds, before coming to rest under his chin, gently lifting it up. Albedo’s eyes catch Kaeya’s as they search his face, brows furrowed in worry.
“May I touch you?”
The question takes Kaeya by surprise. He would have made a joke out of it, was the context any different. But as it now stands, all he can do is nod mutely, rendered speechless by the knot in his throat, bleary eye unable to fully lift up to focus on the alchemist.
Fabric ruffles, and Albedo gently moves his lone finger, replacing it with his hand, cupping Kaeya’s cheek, thumb softly stroking the space below his left eye.
Tears are still silently flowing, but Kaeya finds it a little easier to breathe, what with the steady warmth of Albedo’s hand through the fabric of his glove, physically anchoring him, in the here and now.
“Many human emotions still elude me, but it is my understanding that the feelings I harbor for you would be labeled as romantic. I don’t think I am mistaken in believing that my affections are returned. But Kaeya, I would never wish to push you. It is enough for me to be in your company, as we have been for quite some time now.” Albedo pauses, making sure Kaeya will pay attention to what he’s about to say. “But none of this truly matters. I merely wish you could see yourself the way others see you. The way I see you. You love fiercely, and you are loved in return. That much I know to be an irrefutable fact. I would not mind being the one to remind you of it for as long as it will take for you to accept it.”
Kaeya’s breathe hitches, and he grabs the lapels of Albedo’s coat, gently tugging him forward until he has to part his legs to encase Kaeya’s own. The cavalry captain curls in on himself again, this time resting his weight onto the alchemist, the top of his head settling against the latter’s chest. Albedo places the hand that had been dislodged from Kaeya’s cheek in his hair, gently playing with the soft blue strands. His other arm snakes its way around Kaeya’s shoulders, thumb tracing soft circles against his back.
Kaeya focuses on his breathing. Minutes pass. His heart calms.
“I-” he pauses, voice rough with his unreleased sobs. “I’ll give it to him.” He pushes a little further against Albedo’s chest, breathes him in. Digs his fingers a little deeper into the other’s coat. “And I care for you too. I just- need a little more time, if that’s alright.”
Albedo lets his lips curl into a small smile against Kaeya’s hair.
“Of course. We have all the time in the world.”
Kaeya stands atop the cliff overlooking the winery’s domain, taking in the sun rising light basked scenery before him. He watches as the yards of grape vines seem to come alive with every speck of light, observes as the evolving shadows play shape the manor standing at the center of the domain. He thinks back to all the times he and Diluc had sneaked past Adelinde’s guard in the early morning hours, to watch with big, wide eyes the reflection of the rising sunlight catching on every grape leaf, and every ripple breaking the surface of the pond.
He smiles fondly, bittersweet. Things with Diluc were so easy back then. Now, nearly a decade later, here he stands, watching the place he once dared call home from afar, too torn to go and give his brother a visit.
They’ve been on good terms for a while now, or so Kaeya thinks. Diluc no longer scowls at the sight of him, and his jabs have lost their heat. But their truce is such a precious, fragile thing, that Kaeya can’t help but be terrified of shattering it. Does Diluc even want comfort? Would the sight of his estranged brother trigger him on this day? Just because he now tolerates him doesn’t mean he craves his company, not in the way Kaeya craves his.
He’s been thinking himself into circles for the past two hours now, clutching the little paper wrapped packet in his pocket until his knuckles turned white. There is also the possibility, Kaeya thinks, that Diluc isn’t even home. He should just slip in and out, unnoticed, spare his brother from having to put up with his reluctance to let the past go.
Entering the manor is easy enough. It is hardly difficult for Kaeya to correctly guess which door Adelinde must be leaving open, awaiting for the domain’s master to return.
Not home, then, Kaeya concludes. He’d given himself a headache over nothing.
He sighs as he enters the hall of the manor, mindful to keep his footsteps light. He looks around, around, glance passing over the colorful vase he’d gotten Diluc a couple of years back, before finally settling on the latter’s desk. A neat stack of letters sits on the wooden surface. Kaeya gets closer. His steps falter. His own elegant handwriting occupies the paper. He allows for the slightest upward turn of the corner of his mouth. Maybe Diluc wouldn’t have minded his company as much as he thought.
Kaeya takes the package out of his pocket and places it next to the letters, so as to leave no doubt as to who had sneaked their way in. His fingers linger on the desk.
“The front doors do serve a purpose, you know.”
Diluc.
Kaeya stills.
It takes him a few moments to collect himself, to put his carefully crafted walls back around his bristled heart, dishonest signature smile back on his face.
“Ah, but where’s the fun in always following the beaten paths? Surely, you of all people should understand. You seem rather fond of using the cellar’s door yourself, no? It is the only reason I was able to get in, after all.”
Diluc doesn’t seem fazed.
“Spare me your antics. Next time, you can just knock.”
“And risk disturbing our dear Adelinde’s rest? Now Diluc, I didn’t think you could ever be this cruel,” Kaeya easily retorts. His mind eases. Meaningless banter was familiar. Safe.
“The risk would be all but null if you so decided to visit at a decent hour.” Diluc pauses, brows slightly furrowed. “What are you doing here, Kaeya?”
Ah. Maybe not so safe after all. The aforementioned lets out a chuckle, desperate to stir the conversation back to their most recent bickering dynamic.
“What, can I not just pay a visit when I so please? This was my home too, you kno-”
“Is.” Diluc interrupts him. “It is your home still. You don’t have to fancy yourself a thief to enter it.” His tone is firm, leaving no room for Kaeya to argue. Not that he could have, even if he wanted to. Diluc’s words have taken him by complete surprise, and he finds himself instinctively yearning for more of his brother’s honesty. Hope burns warm in his gut.
“I got you a gift,” he blurts out. “I merely wanted to avoid troubling you with my company.”
The other searches Kaeya’s face. What for, he couldn’t say. Long gone were the days he could confidently read Diluc’s mind.
“May I?” Diluc simply asks, gaze turned towards the package on his desk.
Kaeya nods, mute, before handing it to Diluc. The latter opens it and stills. It takes a while for his eyes to lift up to meet Kaeya’s, gaze so intense he has to resist the urge to look away. He clears his throat.
“Albedo has taken to experimenting on various ores and materials as of late. He requested I give him a prompt to practice his manipulation of condessence crystals. So I did.”
His eyes shift down to the nearly translucent, crafted seashell cradled in Diluc’s palms.
“Happy birthday,” he says softly.
Diluc stares at him, eyes brimming with emotions Kaeya’s would have, once upon a time, been able to confidently identify.
“Why a seashell?” Is all that comes out of Diluc’s mouth.
Kaeya’s persona fails him. Maybe it is his own brain reading into things, but he could swear the redhead’s voice sounded hopeful. His eyes settle back onto the shell as he speaks again.
“I-” He pauses, voice softer. Quieter. More honest. “I hadn’t seen you at Angel’s Share in a while when Albedo showed me a piece of the crystal. I suppose I was feeling a little nostalgic. The ore reminded me of the crystal flies we used to chase around the winery, and I suppose that thought is what led to memories of the times we searched for seashells together.”
Kaeya dares a look, but Diluc is still staring at him, seemingly waiting for Kaeya to keep going.
“I thought- hoped you’d like it. When Albedo offered me the finished product, that is.” He breathes. “Your birthday was coming up. The rest is, well. History.”
“You hoped.”
Damn it. Of course that’s what Diluc would focus on. But Kaeya can’t bring himself to really care. Exhaustion takes over him. It has been years, and he is tired. Tired of ignoring the yearning to be close to his brother again constantly tugging at his soul. Tired of pretending not too care too much. And he doesn’t think he even has it in him to keep the act up, what with the way Diluc is currently acting.
“I did. I still do.”
His mask comes undone.
“I miss you, and I am aware it might only be wishful thinking from my end, but I believe you might have been missing me too, even if you certainly have an unusual way of showing it.” Kaeya swallows. “My apologies for any misplaced assumption. I’m just tired of pretending like the state of our relationship doesn’t affect me every day.”
There. He’d finally said it. His heart physically aches, threatens to break. His brother could now break him. Be the wielder of the fatal, final blow that’ll shatter the lonely, broken man that is Kaeya Alberich.
Diluc raises his right hand.
Kaeya flinches. The movement is slight, barely perceivable, but he knows someone as alert as Diluc can’t have missed it. He should know. His brother had always been able to read him like an open book. It is the same reason why Kaeya can’t seem to bring himself to look the other in the eyes, by fear of what the redhead could read in his single star shaped pupil. By fear of what Kaeya could see in the other’s burning red eyes. And so, at the floor his gaze frantically stays directed.
He stares at the thick boards, notices every scratch and flaw in the old, worn wood. That is, until a gloved hand breaches his field of view.
Kaeya freezes.
Deft fingers gently grab hold of his eye patch, lifting it up to reveal his second, scarred, eye. Kaeya startles and repeatedly blinks, his newly uncovered pupil trying to adjust to the sudden light. His head lifts on its own accord. Blue eyes meet red, and Kaeya has to gasp for air, because instead of the cold indifference he’s gotten used to, Diluc’s eyes are brimming with regretful, unshed tears threatening to spill.
Kaeya is suddenly ten years old again, a young Diluc not much older than him standing before him, cheeks glistening with tears rolling from his guilt ridden eyes, after accidentally hurting the new Ragnvindr during one of their play duels.
“Kaeya”
Past and present overlap as Kaeya’s vision blurs.
“Kaeya, I’m sorry.”
He breaks. A sob, followed by a second, then a third, escapes him as Diluc - his brother - clutches him in a tight embrace, head buried in Kaeya’s shoulder, mumbling teary apologies, muffled by his younger brother’s cape.
As his brain catches up to what his happening, Kaeya finds himself already gripping his brother back, hands holding the fabric of Diluc’s coat in a vice, as if to keep him there, in place, part of him terrified of getting this, them, ripped away from him again. Diluc must take notice, Kaeya thinks, because of course he does. I’m here’s join the apologies flowing from his brother’s mouth.
And so, in the newfound security of his brother’s embrace, Kaeya weeps.
Pale fingers gently rake through long blue hair.
Kaeya smiles, leans into the touch, leans into Albedo, despite it being impossible for the two to get any closer. Kaeya is curled against the other’s side, on his office couch, legs resting upon his lap. On Albedo’s other side, Klee is fast asleep, having claimed his upper thigh as her pillow a few hours ago.
Kaeya shifts his head, lifts it up to plant a soft kiss on Albedo's cheek. Albedo's hand then comes to his chin, holding him there to properly meet his lips. Kaeya smiles into it.
Yeah, he thinks. I'll be okay.