Chapter Text
11:00am
On a Thursday
Philadelphia, PA
“Frank you can’t possibly think that would work. You really have lost your god damn mind.” Dennis says, taking a sip of beer.
“Yeah, Frank. How would you even get a horse?” Dee asks.
“I got a guy.” Frank says, as if it’s the most average thing ever. Dennis and Dee roll their eyes, going to continue to question Frank about whatever scheme he’s trying to accomplish. Before they can even say anything else Charlie runs into the bar out of breath.
“Jesus did you run here?” Dee asks, looking Charlie up and down. They all stare at Charlie waiting for him to catch his breath.
“Is Mac here?” Charlie finally rasps out.“He’s out back talking with the keg guy. Why?” Dennis says, pointing towards the back door.
“Shit alright.” Charlie says, going to play with the end of his jacket. They all look in anticipation, waiting for the next part, but Charlie stays quiet as he takes a seat at the bar. Dennis grabs a beer and hands him it and asks, “Well? What did you need him for? You come in here like a mad man, huffing and puffing and then don’t share anything.”
“Oh! Yeah, Mac’s mom died.” Charlie says almost nonchalantly. Everyone looks at him, stopping what they’re doing. Charlie seems to feel all eyes on him and looks up with a confused expression, as if he didn’t just say what he said.
“Wh-What happened?” Dee asks. “Yeah, what did happen? Are you sure she actually died because I honestly don’t think that woman would ever die.” Dennis says, leaning against the bar counter.
“Apparently she took a nap and just didn’t wake up. My mom called in like a frenzy dude, super annoying. But she wouldn’t stop freaking out so I went over there and sure enough she was dead as dead man.” Charlie says.
“Wait, wait, wait. You’re telling me that your mom called you instead of oh I don’t know, 911!” Dee says with wide eyes.
“Uh, yeah.” Charlie responds. Dee looks at Dennis with a shocked expression, as if this should be news to anyone. Mrs. Kelly has always been an odd one.
“So…Mrs. Mac’s body is just chilling at your mom’s house?” Dennis asks. Charlie nods his head as he grabs some peanuts to eat.
“You know if she needs a guy to get rid of the body, I know someone.” Frank says.
“Well anyways, who’s going to tell Mac? Because the more I think about it, I don’t really want to be the one to tell him because he’ll probably start crying and shit, y’know. And I don’t really want to deal with that.” Charlie says. They all nod their heads, knowing Mac will be overdramatic about the whole thing.
“I’m not doing it! I am not dealing with the kids feelings and bullshit. Absolutely not!” Frank shouts.
“No one would ask you to break the news to Mac, Frank. You should be the last one to tell anyone that someone died.” Dennis says.
“It should probably be you Dennis.” Dee says, looking over at her brother. Dennis whips his head to look at her with wide eyes.
“Me! Wh-Why me?” Dennis nearly screeches. Everyone looks at him as if he asked the dumbest question ever.
“Because you’re banging him dude. So you should be the one to tell him.” Charlie says.
“Don’t put it so crude Charlie, but just because Mac and I are dating means I have to be the one to tell him. If anything, I shouldn’t be the one to tell him.” Dennis retaliates back.
“Ehhh I don’t know. It seems like the best idea. You chose to be with him, so that means you have to deal with all his emotions now.” Dee says, picking up her beer to take a drink. Dennis looks at everyone, hoping for someone to change their mind, but no one is seeming to agree with him.
“Maybe you could take him out for something fun to get him all happy and then break the news to him.” Dee suggests. Dennis thinks about it for a second before realizing how stupid that is.
“Dee you dumb bitch. Why would I take him out for something exciting to then just tell him his mom is dead. He’s not a dog about to be put down.” Dennis says, sighing. He’s starting to get very annoyed, and it’s only the beginning of the day.
“Yeah, but that may just work Dennis. Think about it, if you take Mac out, he’ll get all happy and won’t expect anything bad happened. Then when it’s all over you tell him. It’ll lessen the blow.” Frank says. He brings up a great point, Dennis can’t argue that. Maybe if he gives Mac a little treat by taking him out to do something he wants, then it might help things not get too messy. Wow, maybe Mac is kinda like a dog.
“Okay, okay. I see what you’re saying here. That might just work. Good idea Frank.” Dennis says, nodding his head. Frank smiles while Dee looks at him with an annoyed look because of course when she comes up with an idea it’s considered dumb until it comes out of one of the guys mouths. Ridiculous.
“So what will you do with him?” Charlie asks. “No banging in the bar. I don’t want any of that shit here!” Frank says.
“I’m not going to have sex with Mac in the bar you troll headed man. I was thinking of maybe taking him to this paintball place. He won’t shut up about it for the past few weeks, so I guess now is as good of a time to go.” Dennis says.
“Oo I want to come with. That sounds like fun.” Charlie says.
“Hey if Charlie gets to go, then so do I.” Frank says.
“Well if everyone is going then I don’t want to be left out you assholes.” Dee says.
“Guys, guys! I thought the whole point of this was for me to tell Mac. Why would you all come with then?” Dennis asks, looking at them all.
“Yeah but that was before you said where you were going to take him.” Charlie says. Dee and Frank both point towards him and nod their heads.
“Yeah, we could all go and then afterwards you can tell him while we all get out of there. No reason we can’t have some fun.” Dee says. The others agree with her while Dennis shakes his head.
“You idiots would ruin it somehow, and I don’t need Mac getting upset beforehand. That would defeat the whole purpose of this.” Dennis says, going to grab another drink.
“Oh please, Mac’ll be just fine. You two shouldn’t be the only ones that get to do this. Plus if you let us all go, i’ll pay.” Frank says. Dennis thinks for a minute weighing the pros and cons.
While the gang might mess things up, it probably would seem more normal to bring them along to do this. Plus if Frank is paying, that means Dennis could use the money he would’ve spent for this to get him and Mac a nice meal to possibly make up for any disastrous event that may take place (and let’s be real, with the gang, there’s a 99% chance of that happening).
“Fuck it. Fine you guys can tag along. But if any of you ruin this, so help me god, I will-“ Dennis says but is cut off by Mac walking in. Everyone looks over at him and stares as he sits down at the bar.
“Hey guys.” Mac says smiling at them. When they don’t take their eyes off him, he starts to get a little suspicious. “What’s going on?” he asks, chuckling awkwardly.
“Heyyy buddy, how’re doing today?” Charlie asks in a high pitched tone. Mac gives him a puzzled look and Dennis sighs and brings his hand up to rub his head. They haven’t even began this all and Charlie is going to ruin it before they get the chance.
“Hey Mac, y’know that paintball place you’ve been talking about lately? Well I was thinking, and what if we all head out there today. That sound like fun?” Dennis butts in before anyone can say something else. It was the right thing because that got Mac’s attention and seemed to make him ignore the others odd behaviors.
“Oo yeah! You know i’ve been dying to go there dude!” Mac nearly shouts, already jumping out of his seat.
“Yeah I know man, thought it was finally time we checked that place out.” Dennis says as he heads out from behind the bar and walks up to Mac.
Mac smiles at him and claps his hands together. The others make their way out the door, with Dennis and Mac last to get out. Dennis puts his hand on Mac’s lower back as they walk to the Range Rover. Everyone hops in with Dennis and Mac up front and Charlie, Dee, and Frank in the back.
Dennis puts the directions in to the paintball place and turns some music on. Now, hopefully everything will work out and the others won’t ruin this all.