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The moon was still out when they woke up.
It was way too early in Jesper’s humble opinion, but he hadn’t been the one to choose the time. Kaz had banged on their door, and Jesper knew it was time for the plan to start.
He and Wylan had been curled up together on one of the bigger sofas, Jesper’s back pressed against the back of the sofa, and Wylan pressed up against him. It would have been a lot easier to sleep on separate sofas, but knowing everything that could go wrong that day, neither of them had wanted to be alone. The plan was maybe not the craziest thing they’d done on the list ranging from kidnapping a Saint to breaking into the Ice Court, but it was certainly up there. There were so many places something could go wrong, and Jesper terrified he was gonna be the one to fuck it up. It wasn’t just his life on the line this time. It was all the crows’ lives, it was Kuwei’s, it was his da’s, it was Wylan’s. Possibly the entire world’s, but Jesper didn’t feel like thinking that far.
They got up and got dressed in silence. Getting to their positions would be the first tricky part, and Jesper was happy Wylan and his da would go together. Preferably, he would have gone with them, but he knew if the plan were to work he couldn’t be with Wylan. So he hugged his da tightly when they saw him, telling him to stay out of the way and be safe. When Kaz ushered Colm away, probably to give some last minute instructions, he and Wylan were left standing alone in the corridor. They were silent for a few moments, before Wylan reached out to take Jesper’s hand.
“Be safe. Don’t do anything stupid, please.”
Jesper smiled. “Doing stupid stuff is kinda my thing though. It’s how I ended up here in the first place.”
Wylan rolled his eyes, but he was smiling. “Let’s stick to be safe then.”
“You too. I mean it. Don’t— Don’t be a hero, okay? Don’t let it go too far.” Jesper hadn’t wanted to think about Wylan’s part in the plan too much. Knowing that their plan was just to have Wylan be dragged back to his dad made Jesper’s stomach turn. Wylan wouldn’t really be alone, Anika and Keeg wouldn’t let him out of their sight, but there were too many variables when it came to his boyfriend's safety that day.
At the Ice Court they were constantly with each other, and afterwards danger had been looming in the back for most of the time. Now, suddenly, it was staring them right in the face, and Jesper realized with a start that this might be the last time he’d ever see Wylan. One of them could die or Jesper could fuck up and the plan could fail and get them all captured and they’d never get to have a life together. They’d never get to take their kruge and live together, Jesper would never get to take Wylan to Novyi Zem, they’d never get Marya to safety. He would never get to tell Wylan that he—
“I love you,” Wylan blurted out. Jesper saw the surprise register on Wylan’s face, the way he seemed shocked over his own words. His mouth dropped open and his already big eyes widened. There was a very real risk Jesper would just stare into them all day, forgetting about the job they had ahead of them. But based on the little furrow between Wylan’s eyes, that Jesper adored, standing silent wouldn’t be appreciated by Wylan.
“I love you too,” Jesper said, because what else could he say? He knew it was true, he felt more sure about this than anything else in the world. And he wanted, so desperately, for Wylan to know this.
Immediately, Wylan’s face relaxed. There was a wonder in his eyes that Jesper couldn’t even imagine was his own doing, but that seemed to be the only explanation. Instinctively Wylan started the duck his head as a smile grew on his lips, but Jesper softly placed a hand underneath his chin, tilting his face up again. He kissed him, intending it to be very soft and chaste, but Wylan wrapped his arms around Jesper’s neck and pulled him closer. He had to let go of Wylan’s the face as the angle was difficult, and instead wrapped his arms around Wylan’s waist.
When Wylan pulled back he immediately burrowed his face in the crook of Jesper’s neck, and Jesper in return peppered his head with kisses.
“I love you. I love you, I love you,” he whispered in between them, and tried to not think about how long it probably had been since Wylan heard someone tell him that.
Wylan giggled, and pressed a kiss to Jesper’s cheek. “I love you too. And if we don’t—”
“You have to leave now.” They both jumped at Kaz's sudden appearance, and Jesper met his glare. He knew it was important that he left before sunrise, but there was nothing he’d rather do than stay in Wylan’s arms. Instead, he turned and looked Wylan in the eyes once more. They didn’t say anything more, only gave each other a quick nod each, before Jesper pulled Wylan back in for one quick embrace. When they pulled back, Jesper saw that Kaz was still staring at them. But not with the scowl he was expecting, but with an expression Jesper couldn’t quite place. It didn’t quite look soft, but softer than most of the expressions he’d seen on Kaz’s face before.
With one final glance back at Wylan, who was toying with the sleeves of his shirt as he watched Jesper, he was out in the night, hoping he’d see them all again.
If someone had asked him afterwards to try and describe the day, he didn’t think he would have done a particularly good job. His memories were a mess, from the Kherguud soldier to the shot he took. One thing he did remember, in full clarity, was the relief he felt at seeing the others.
He was moving through the chaotic crowd with Inej, both of them scanning for a familiar face. When Jesper finally saw the familiar blond head of their Fjerdan, he broke out into a run. Relief rushed through him as he saw the rest of them, all gathered near Kuwei’s supposedly dead body. But the relief dissolved the second he got a better look at Wylan.
He’d been prepared to see him look bad, but not like this. He was standing awkwardly, clearly in pain, as his arms hovered around his stomach. His face was a smatter of bruises, and Jesper didn’t want to imagine how the rest of him looked. There was blood on his face, both from a cut at his cheek and from his nose, that looked like it had been broken. Jesper was gonna kill Jan Van Eck, and maybe punch Keeg in the face while he was at it.
The moment Wylan saw him, he immediately started jogging towards Jesper. In return, Jesper ran a little faster, as it looked like it took a lot of effort for Wylan to keep moving.
“Saints, Wylan,” he said, his hands hovering in the air between them, not wanting to hurt him. Wylan didn’t have the same quals, and simply walked into Jesper’s arms. Softly he placed his hands on Wylan’s shoulders, hoping he wasn’t hurt there as well. “What happened to not letting it go too far?”
“I had to make it believable, didn’t I?” Wylan’s lip had swelled, and Jesper could hear it in the way he spoke. Jesper just shook his head, still holding on to Wylan like a lifeline. They were alive and they were together. It would be alright.
Kaz gave out orders, and Jesper didn’t really listen past the fact that he was supposed to stay with Wylan. That he could do with no issue. The others scattered, and Jesper had made Wylan sit down, and he realized he didn’t know what they were supposed to do now.
He didn’t have to wait for long.
“Wylan? Ghezen, Wylan!” A woman's voice carried through the crowd, and Jesper was suddenly faced with Alys Van Eck. She seemed confused, and panicked, and the lady accompanying her openly started at Wylan. Jesper supposed it made sense, if she was from the Van Eck staff. He had supposedly been off to music school for years, then showed up bloody and beaten on the craziest evening in Kerch in decades. Alys started speaking, frantic and panicked, and Wylan did his best to calm her, but it seemed to do little. In the end, they were ushered into the church. Alys barely seemed to notice that Jesper was there, even with Wylan not letting go of Jesper during the whole walk.
The gawking at Wylan continued, from the church to geldstraat. It was strange, seeing the Wylan he had known back in the life that he had come from. In his big coat, with his hair a mess and his nose bleeding, it was hard to see how he fit in between the expensive decor on the walls. The staff didn’t bombard them with questions, even though they clearly wanted to, and they got to retire quite early. They chose the guest room closest to the stairs, and Jesper made no comment on the choice. Instead, he helped Wylan drink the medicine he’d been provided to dull the pain. When Wylan undressed, Jesper saw the extent of the damage, and helped Wylan wrap his ribs. It was hard, Jesper felt scared to even touch him, but Wylan laid down his head on Jesper’s chest, and soon began to fall asleep.
As he slowly started to drift off, Jesper once saw Kaz’s endgame laid out in his head. Jan Van Eck thrown into prison, and Wylan the head of a powerful empire.
With Jesper by his side.
That was perhaps the strangest part. Jesper didn’t even his place. He loved Wylan, Wylan loved him. Wylan had clutched his hand like a life line since they were reunited, and had trusted Jesper to give him the right document. They were, whether by fate or luck or the scheming hands of Kaz Brekker, bound together now. And watching Wylan sleep soundly as Jesper quietly joined him, peaceful and safe, he knew there was no other place he’d rather be.