Chapter Text
They were a couple of pints in when James brought the subject up. It was himself and Jeremy. There was a time in the past when Jeremy was one of the last people on the planet that James wanted to see in his free time, but as their work schedules, and especially the work schedules that involved each other settled down into a more sustainable pace, James found he rather enjoyed having a casual drink with Jeremy these days.
“I hear you’re not coming to Richard’s next month.” James found it was better to be direct about these things.
“And?” Jeremy asked.
“I think it’s a mistake.” James wasn’t going to let Jeremy get out of this by being rude and avoidant.
Jeremy took another long drink of his pint and didn’t make eye contact. “Who told you anyway?” Jeremy grumbled. “Andy? He wants me to change my mind.”
“Mindy called, actually.” James said. “Asked me to help persuade you. Mentioned they’re going away for three weeks afterwards.”
Jeremy was only mildly surprised at the news.
“It’s not like you find it easy to see him either. And we both knew it was coming. At least he still recognises you. What’s the point in me coming if he doesn’t know who I am?” Jeremy asked.
“Don’t be a morose old git. Yes we both knew it was coming, but it was a momentary lapse. He knew who you were again half an hour later. Besides, he’s know me for nearly a decade longer, and the doctor said the oldest memories would be the last ones to go.” James was trying to spur Jeremy into action, but found he was depressing himself with the thoughts.
“It’s not fair. I know life isn’t, but it still isn’t fair.” Jeremy moaned.
“He’s not the first person you’ve known with a degenerative illness. He won’t be the last.”
“But he’s ten years our junior.” Jeremy said, just a little too loudly.
“Your junior” James corrected but Jeremy didn’t even seem to hear him.
“We were supposed to be old men in our graves before anything like this happened to him. He’s not even 55 yet! When I was 55 I we were still touring and doing our live shows, and he’s just fading away!”
“He hasn’t faded away yet, and they’ve invited us all for a week, Richard will probably be present and with it for a lot of that. There might be lapses but most of the time he’ll know who you are, who both of us are. Man up and come.” James was really pushing now.
“I knew it was coming, I just didn’t expect it to hurt so much.” Jeremy had gone quiet again. “Not being recognised, I mean.” It struck James that for all the barbs about Jeremy aging badly in the media, he had never once until this day looked at his friend and seen an old man. “I will get over myself and go to see him eventually, it just might take me a month or so and have to wait until he gets back from travelling.”
James became very quiet indeed, and eventually Jeremy looked at him in confusion.
“What have I said?” Jeremy asked.
“I think you should go this time.” James said seriously. “I think you’ll regret it if you don’t.”
“For God’s sake, I just opened up to you, said that I’m not ready and needed to wait and you’re pushing me to do it anyway? Not very woke of you James, for all your pretentions of being left wing now.” Jeremy felt bitter and betrayed. All he needed was a bit more time, why would no one give him that?
James looked upset, like he was forcing himself to stay as calm as possible. But he spoke anyway.
“When I spoke to Mindy, she emphasised their travel plans. That they were going to Switzerland for three weeks a few days after the we leave.” James started.
“What does this matter?” Jeremy couldn’t care less about his friend’s travel plans right now.
“The first week, both Hammond’s brothers, his parents, his daughters, his best friend Les, they’re all joining him, just for the first week. The next two weeks it will be just him and Mindy. Switzerland. She kept emphasising that they were going to Switzerland. Switzerland. Not the South of France where the weather is better and they already have a house large enough to host all of them. They’re even taking Blea the dog and she’s staying for the duration they’ve paid a fortune to process the post Brexit paperwork so she’s allowed to come. Now stop feeling sorry for yourself for half a second, just long enough to consider what Switzerland might have to offer a man suffering from early onset Alzheimer’s that France does not?”
James was pretty certain of the answer. Nothing had been said. Not directly. It couldn’t be, if not directly illegal, it was certainly heavily disapproved of under UK law. But Mindy had been clear enough in her hints that he was pretty sure he’d come to the correct conclusion.
From the way Jeremy’s mouth had dropped open James was pretty sure Jeremy had arrived at that same conclusion rather unpleasantly himself.
“You think he’s going to Dignitas. You think he isn’t coming home. I’m telling you now that’s nonsense. No one loves life more than Richard does, he’s going to stay here for as long as possible.” Part of Jeremy knew that he might be sticking his head firmly in the sand. A bigger part believed that it just wasn’t something Richard would choose.
“I hope he sticks around. And I hope I’m wrong, truly I do.” James allowed, but he still felt it urgent to persuade Jeremy to come to Richard’s gathering. “Just look at it this way for a second. He is a man who has been diagnosed with a terrifying, degenerative disease that means he will lose all sense of who he is over the next five or so years. He spends the day with us, and fails to recognise or even remember you at first. One of his closest friends and colleagues for over two decades. Less than a month later we’re all invited to his for a week, and suddenly he’s taking a three week spring getaway to Switzerland. Something he’s never done before. Do you honestly want to risk the chance of never seeing him again if you turn down his invitation now?” James asked, not letting Jeremy squirm away from eye contact with this.
A flicker of unease in Jeremy’s eyes before he covered it all with bravado.
“I’ll call Mindy in the morning to let her know I’ve changed my mind. But when you find out you were wrong, you own me five bottles of your gin.” Jeremy acquiesced.
“If I was wrong, I’ll give you ten bottles of my gin and we can make a dent by getting horrendously drunk with Hammond, just to prove we still can.” James replied, and they shook on it. Only time would tell if Jeremy’s hope was justified.
Or James’s fear.