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They were all in the pub, James’s local, just a short walk from his house.
Jeremy was down for a meeting. James lived in London anyway, and Richard and Mindy were in London for some sort of medical procedure and shopping respectively.
They all had so many solo projects these days that it had become nice to meet up when they were all around. There was a time when work schedules for Top Gear and the live shows were so intense and they saw so very much of each other that any time off was precious time away from the others.
These days it was different.
Richard was having to be careful, just one gin, as he was having some kind of operation tomorrow, and James suspected that might be part of why Mindy had tagged along. Just to help keep him in check.
They had asked Richard about it at the beginning of the evening.
“Just a minor operation to remove some tissue that’s causing an issue. There’s a couple of weeks recovery but I’ll be okay.” Richard had explained.
Probably something to do with his knee then James thought.
Conversation had turned to lighter matters and now they were well into a slightly inebriated brain storm about the next special.
It was going well, so well in fact that James and Jeremy had both decided to go into the production office the next afternoon to discuss it with Andy. Being themselves the discussion didn’t stay particularly on topic, and soon shifted to what kind of prank gift to get Hammond as he recovered. They were all agreed it should be something absolutely enormous and impractical. After some debate they settled on a giant inflatable car some manufacturer had sent them as a promo a few days before.
“How do we know it will fit through the hospital doorways?” James asked, ever the one for practicalities.
“It’ll fit. Don’t be so negative.” Jeremy dismissed this immediately.
“It might fit.” James continued, “But equally it might not, is there a way of googling how wide the doors in the hospital are?”
“Or you could just go on ahead with a covert tape measure.” Andy said, “you can go visit him, subtly measure the door ways, and text us if it fits.”
James was at the point of objecting, why on earth should he be the one to trek halfway across the city first, then he realised that if he went first, he wouldn’t have to transport the unwieldy present, so he agreed and went on his way.
He chose the tube for the sake of speed, and it only cost him a couple of selfies.
He strode into reception at the hospital, in high spirits. The plans for the next special were thoroughly sketched out, and he would enjoy the playfulness of having to get covert door measurements and watching Hammond’s face as he explained to the hospital staff quite why he wasn’t allowed to just throw away the enormous inflatable car.
He approached the girl behind reception, he saw the moment when she recognised him, and then she schooled her face into an oddly serious expression. James didn’t think too much of it, people had all sorts of reactions when meeting someone off the telly, and for someone in their late teens or early twenties as this girl appeared to be, pretending they couldn’t care less wasn’t unusual and also much easier to deal with than someone being outright hostile in reaction to one of the many things, one of the trio (usually Clarkson) had said.
“Mr May,” she addressed him as he arrived, making no attempt to hide the fact she recognised him, “I’m sorry for your loss.”
James blinked.
He felt baffled. This didn’t make sense.
“Pardon?” He asked.
“I’m sorry for your loss.” She said again. She had a light Cornwall accent and was beginning to look quite flustered under her make up. It was odd the things he noticed.
“What loss?” James asked, determined to make her clarify, unwilling to make a single assumption when faced with such a statement. She looked horrified.
“I thought you knew, I thought that’s why you were here. There were complications in his surgery this morning, so I thought you’d come to say goodbye, or support his wife. I’m just… I’m just…”
The girl was fast running out of words and ended up just mumbling:
“I’m sorry for your loss.”
James barely heard the end of her speech. His ears were ringing with the shock. All of his good mood from earlier banished in the face of this revelation.
“I didn’t know” James thinks he says, but the air in the room is very heavy and pressing down on him from every angle, and everything felt very far away. He should probably sit down. His legs are feeling quite funny.
Some movement catches the corner of his eye and he turns to watch a petite woman make her way over to the vending machine and buy a can of pop.
It’s Mindy, walking through utterly relaxed. How can she be? How can she be so relaxed? It doesn’t make sense. He’s staring, he realises and is embarrassed by it but not enough to stop.
Mindy must feel his eyes on her because she turns around and smiles. Smiles.
“Hello!” Her tone is bright and warm and cuts through the muted watery room tone that has filled James’s ears. “I wasn’t expecting you for another hour. Are Jeremy and Andy parking up?” She asks, and comes in to give him a hug.
James can’t respond and she pulls back, she looks concerned. Why should she be concerned about him? How can she have any space for it when her husband has just…
James can’t even think the word. His new mini pops into his head, a little 1960s thing. The car Hammond had taken so much joy in helping him pick out that needed yet again more tinkering. James had been going to invite Hammond to help him out with it when they finally managed to get something scheduled. Had been…
Mindy was speaking:
“James, what’s happened? Can you speak to me?” She turned away and spoke to someone outside of James’s field of vision, “I don’t know what’s happened but this isn’t normal, can you get a bottle of water please?” Mindy turned back to James.
“James, we’re going to sit you down, I know this is blunt but you look like you’re about to pass out.”
James followed the gentle pressure on his elbow until he found himself sat on one of the chairs, Mindy stood nearby. He ought to speak, to say something, to reassure Mindy. It wasn’t fair of him to let her worry. The girl from earlier appeared with a bottle of water.
“Do you know what happened?” Mindy asked her.
“I thought he knew! I recognised him off TV and I overheard some doctors earlier talking about complications with Richard Hammond’s surgery, I didn’t mean for this to happen, I was just sad that Mr Hammond died, and I knew he was his friend, so I just told him that I was sorry for his loss.”
Mindy’s face turned into a mask of cold fury as she heard the girls speech. She put her anger aside to reassure James.
“It isn’t true, Richard’s alive. He’s in some pain and a little groggy from his surgery, but it was successful, and he’s going to be absolutely fine. There was a small complication, but it just means he’ll have to stay here for five or six days for observation rather than one or two, it should barely have an impact on recovery time. I’m so sorry you came all the way over to see him only to be told outright lies by someone who overheard half a conversation not meant for her ears.”
The girl blushed bright red and rushed back to her post with a quickly murmured ‘sorry’.
“She will be sorry after I’ve talked to management. I know she’s young but what was she thinking, telling you Richard was dead, what an idiot!”
“I think she was trying to be sympathetic.” James replied. Mindy smiled, he was beginning to come back to himself and was looking significantly less grey faced.
“Do you want to come up and see him?” Mindy asked. “Honestly, I could use the break, he only came out of anaesthesia two hours ago and he’s already driving me mad.”
“Yes. That why I came after all.” James answered. He was trying to make his voice sound normal when his throat felt as dry as a desert. It wasn’t particularly successful so he had some of the bottle of water. Mindy was obviously worried, but she knew how much he hated people fussing, so she kept up a light stream of chatter about how Izzy and Willow were doing as they made their way to Hammond’s room. As they arrived at the doorway, James realised he should have been paying attention to the route there, he wasn’t sure how he’d find his way out later.
He walked into the room to find Hammond, in his glasses looking at something on his tablet.
“Mate, this is a surprise!” Richard sounded genuinely delighted, his pupils slightly dilated from the pain medication and his manner a little more hyper than usual.
James didn’t immediately reply, he felt his silence like a gaping chasm, but seeing Richard alive and well, felt surreal, like he was in some kind of denial based hallucination.
Richard’s expression turned from jovial to concerned as he glanced at Mindy. Hammond had always been the most perceptive and tuned in of the trio, and James was cursing that now. He felt unguarded and vulnerable. Mindy came to his rescue for the second time in 20 minutes, breezing in and explaining to Richard what had happened and the miscommunication as if it was a funny story.
“Well I’m not dead, and that’s ridiculous. I can’t believe you were greeted with the words ‘I’m sorry for your loss.‘“
“What did happen?” James asked as he took a seat next to Hammond’s bed.
“The surgery was abdominal, and they nicked the bowel with the very tip of the scalpel. They repaired it while I was still under, and they don’t think there will be any complications, but anything near the bowel and there’s an increased risk of sepsis so I need to stay here for a few extra days just in case. That’s it. I promise you I came nowhere near dying.” Richard delivered all of this with a smile, but his tone was somewhat gentler than James was used to.
“Anyway, I’ve been thinking of getting myself a 1960s fiat 500 and I want your input. What do you think?” Richard continued, and James found himself holding an iPad that Richard shoved into his hands, the warm reassuring pressure of Richard’s palms briefly present before James looked down at an image of the most tired, run down vintage fiat you can imagine on a car auction website.
“Well to begin with I wouldn’t get that one.” James advised, falling into their comfortable back and forth on their favourite subject.
“What’s wrong with it!” Richard shot back, just a little too loud for the outrage to read as genuine, and they were comfortably bickering away. As they continued James felt some of the enormous tension and shock melt away. It really was silly to get worked up over a miscommunication, he thought to himself, as he refused to acknowledge any lingering grief or fear.
Once the two men were immersed in their conversation, Mindy quietly slipped out of the room.
Her first stop was to speak to someone in the hospital administration. Now she’s calmed down a bit she didn’t want the girl to lose her job, she did seem very young after all, but if you’re a hospital receptionist you need a better understanding of data protection, and you can’t just go around telling people their relatives are dead. Especially if the person in question is alive and fairly healthy given the circumstances.
Once this was done, and a promise extracted that the girl would be spoken with but not dismissed, Mindy made her way into the tiny courtyard of the little London hospital, and made a phone call. Last night Jeremy, James and Andy had all planned on dropping in on Richard, all of them together, and only one had shown up. She wanted to find out where Jeremy and Andy were, and also update them on the situation.
“Hi Mindy” Andy answered, sounding oddly guilty. ‘He must be planning something ridiculous’ Mindy thought to herself. It wouldn’t be the first time Richard would be subject to a childish prank, and he was bound to get them back eventually.
“Hi Andy, James is here at the hospital but I thought the three of you were coming together so I thought I’d ring and find out what’s occurring.” Mindy answered.
“What did James say?”
Andy definitely sounded cagey now, Mindy wondered just how elaborate this planned prank would be.
“He hasn’t said anything. If I’m honest I didn’t even ask him. There was a bit of a misunderstanding over here, and I wanted to give you a heads up.”
“What misunderstanding?”
“Firstly, Richard’s absolutely fine. There were minor complications and he’ll need to stay in hospital longer than planned. But he’ll still make a full recovery. Unfortunately the girl on reception eavesdropped on some doctors when they discussed Richard’s complications, and jumped to the conclusion that he had died during surgery. Maybe she watches one too many medical dramas? When James arrived, she recognised him, told him how sorry she was for his loss, and when he asked what the hell she was taking about, she told him Richard was dead. I think he went into some kind of shock, poor man. When I came across him he was frozen still and not saying anything. Anyway, we’ve cleared the confusion up and James and Richard are now discussing cars, but he had a fairly rough afternoon.”
“Okay, well we’ll be over soon, thanks for the heads up.” Andy replied, then they said their goodbyes and hung up.
“What was that about?” Asked Jeremy.
“I don’t think James has done the measurements, because when he arrived at the hospital the girl on reception told him Hammond was dead.” Andy explained.
“What?!”
“Oh Hammond’s fine, some minor complications during surgery and she’d drawn a dramatic conclusion, but James, had a horrible shock and had a funny turn over it. Good mocking material for later, but the important bit is we still don’t know if Hammond’s present will fit through the hospital doors.”
Andy and Jeremy both turned their attention to the inflatable car taking up far too much of their office space. One of the researchers turned around from their computer.
“It’s an inflatable car.” He said.
“So?” Andy asked.
“Why don’t you just deflate it and re-inflate it when you get there?”
Jeremy and Andy looked at each other. For two intelligent men, they did miss the obvious sometimes