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Maybe he spent a good portion of high school trying to prove himself. Maybe it wasn't a completely conscious effort, but a thought somewhere at the back of his mind, hidden behind bravado and recklessness. It was there, though, the need to make sure that his place was earned, that he belonged -- no matter how automatically the others included him.
It didn't seem enough, what he was doing, no matter how many times he was the one to save someone, how many times he provided solutions to whatever crisis was going on. And for a long time, if anyone had asked him, the answer to "What are you trying to prove?" would have been simple.
"I want to show that I belong, that I've earned the right to be pack."
Only years later, when he looks back at his efforts, at how things panned out, does Stiles realize that he never needed to prove his worth to the pack, to Scott or Lydia, to Allison or even Cora. He can clearly hear the little voice in his head that tells him that he never needed to prove anything to anyone, and especially not the one person he was doing it all for.
Not when the person in question didn't think he was worth any effort.
It's when he finally takes the step towards Derek, when he finds the courage to confess the feelings that he's been holding back for years, when he whispers his confession just loud enough for werewolf ears.
"I just wanted to be enough," he says, when Derek stares at him in shock and whispers a surprised why?
"You always have been, Stiles," Derek tells him then, cupping Stiles' jaw in his palm, smiling in a way that none of them got to see often enough. "If anyone needed to prove they're worth being loved, it was me."
"Idiot," Stiles mumbles, and lunges forward, kissing Derek in a way that he hopes will say more than his words ever could.
I love you. You're everything. I've spent forever trying to be everything you need and want. I've wasted too much time proving I'm worth the risk of loving again. I've loved you all this time, and only now I see that loving you was the one thing I needed to do.
"You're worth the risk," Derek replies when the words spill out of Stiles' mouth. "You were a long time ago. Even if you were to break me over and over again, you'd still be worth it."
Later, in a quiet moment, Derek tells him that he thought there was a different reason to Stiles' attempts to prove himself.
"I wondered how you wouldn't know how valuable you are to any pack you're in," he says, arms wrapped around Stiles in a way that clearly says I'm not letting go.
"I'm human," Stiles shrugs. "No matter how good I am at research, all I have is sarcasm and an occasional baseball bat. Being able to be bait can only earn so many points."
"You know that's not all you are, right?" Derek asks.
Stiles doesn't say anything, only nods in a way that makes Derek realize that it wasn't Stiles who needed to prove his worth to the pack, but the others who needed to show him how important he is to them.
"You're human, yes, which means you're an anchor to each of us at least a little," Derek says. "Some of us more than others. You're the link to our humanity, the link between us, the connection to everyone outside the pack. You give us answers when we're too focused on the small things to see the bigger picture. You're still there when other people left. Stiles, you're the reason that the pack still exists, even after all my mistakes."
They sit in silence for a while, and Derek can feel tension seeping out of Stiles' body, a remnant of the doubt so ingrained in Stiles' mind that he didn't even realize it was there finally washing away.
Then, like the realization hit him with the speed of an oncoming train, Stiles twists enough to face Derek, and his surprise shows in his face and the tone of the words that follow.
"Wait, I'm your anchor?"