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Hopper is convinced he has a blaring, red sign above his home saying, 'Michael Wheeler welcome'.
If he doesn't, he doesn't know how to explain the curse he must have, because this boy does not know how to quit.
Last summer, when he and El were in their gross, infatuated relationship, Hopper had kicked back and prepared to live like this for the rest of parenthood. Judging by the boy's bone-deep need to constantly be in his home, sucking face with his daughter, there was no sign of their relationship buffering. Despite how hard Hopper worked to make that happen.
So when a heartbroken El sauntered into the house, proclaiming in a shockingly steady voice that they'd broken up, Hopper was ecstatic.
Never in a million years would he be happy at El's suffering, but the idea of never having to see that little shits grin ever again was relieving. He'd never forget the self-confident smirks Mike had sent him all last summer, as if daring Hopper to yell at him in front of his daughter.
What he did forget, however, was the fact that Mike and his newly acquired stepson were best friends.
After moving into their new home in Hawkins after the entire Vecna fiasco, Hopper was finally settling and getting used to being part of a family again. It took time, and sure, sometimes he still feels like he doesn't belong in their perfectly crafted dynamic, but if El could integrate so perfectly into the brothers' lives, he had a place to fit with them.
And then Mike started coming over.
Every Saturday.
And so Hopper resigned to a life of bracing himself through the weekends as he listened to Michael fucking Wheeler's voice drone through Will's room.
As was a typical Saturday night, after Hopper had lifted his feet onto the table after a long morning of errands. The boys and Joyce were out visiting their grandparents, and Hopper had given them space for a family meeting.
Leaving him and El, home alone, with no Michael Wheeler.
He swiped a beer off the table, throwing it back for a sip, before switching to the morning news. Since his relationship with Joyce bloomed, and they'd moved in together like a proper family, Hopper had limited himself to 2 bottles of beer a week. He wasn't an idiot, he knew about that son of a bitch Lonnie's past with alcohol abuse. And he would be even more of an idiot if he didn't notice the small flinches that passed through Will when Hopper patted him on the shoulder.
Those boys had been dealt a rough hand in life, and if cutting back on his alcohol intake was what he had to do to bond with them, then he'd settle for 2 bottles a week.
He'd just picked up his bacon burger when he heard a familiar voice through the ceiling. A girly laugh, then the voice again.
He wanted to groan, or yell, but he ran a rough hand down his face.
Never get your hopes up.
So yes, he was cursed. When would God give him a damn break?
Another exclamation from Mike.
A giggle from El.
Another exclamation and it finally hit him.
Mike was in El's room. And they were flirting.
He shot up from the couch, a grunt falling from his lips. Just when he fucking settles down that little twerp tries to pull a move on his daughter again. His face pinches in frustration as he saunters over to the stairs. The nerve on that boy.
He wants to stomp up them, and put Wheeler in his place, but if his conversations with Joyce have taught him anything it's to 'don’t lose your temper. Don’t judge. Just be calm.'
So he slowly walks up the steps, keeping his eyes on the (closed, fuck you Wheeler) bedroom door. When he hears the voices continue loud and abrasive, it's clear they didn't hear him come up.
He's not snooping, he's not snooping-
"Romantic, huh?" He hears a masculine voice sing.
And he's snooping.
As gently as possible, he awkwardly shifts to lean his back against the wall across from the room. He should feel guilty, teenagers need privacy and feelings, and yada yada. But if he has Mike on his bad side again he's willing to eavesdrop.
"Oh shush, you are not a romantic Mike Wheeler. And I wouldn't call trash diving a good date idea."
His face narrows in confusion. He's missing a lot of context clues here.
"How else were we supposed to find the spare parts for Dustin's passion project? It's not like any of us have jobs to pay for it."
He can hear a noise of disgust out of El. "I still don't understand that. I wouldn't get so dirty for pieces of metal."
Mike pauses, and Hopper can only guess that he's throwing her one of his snotty shrugs.
"It was Will's idea. Trust me I wasn't so keen to do that either. It was just me and him so I took the opportunity for some alone time."
"You are desperate Mike Wheeler. If you weren't making out with him the whole time you wouldn't have done that." She lets out a giggle, but it's silent from Mike's end. "It was gross, admit it."
...What?
Hopper's brain stops, sputters, and whirs back to life. This conversation suddenly feels very personal. Did he hear that right?
He's not sure what to think, because oh. Mike was queer. And apparently so was Will.
Of course, he'd always known Will was different. The boy was colorful, sensitive, and so full of emotion. Not that any of that was particularly bad, honestly it just made him that much better of a kid. But it set him apart from other kids his age. Even his little nerd club. It shouldn't be surprising that Will is... queer, but it still hits him with a little shock. A few thoughts run through his mind that he won't even acknowledge if he wants to keep his head, but Will is a good kid. There is nothing wrong with him.
Mike on the other hand is something he will have to put in the back of his brain and process later because that was too much for him at the moment.
El's room seems to have gone silent, and Hopper worries for a moment that he's given himself away before Mike starts up again hesitantly.
"Uh, sorry, let's keep it down a little." And he's never heard the boy so timid. He's careful and quiet, and he can hear the wavering fear in his voice. Mike is afraid.
In any other situation, Hopper would've thought 'Finally, something to hold him at bay', but he's not sure what to think right now. It causes an uncomfortable feeling in his stomach.
El, the sweet girl she is, doesn't seem to pick up on it.
"Why?" Her tone, bubbly as always, stays loud enough for Hopper to hear it well from where he is.
"I just... I don't want to get Will in trouble." He pauses. "It's- it's quiet. Someone might hear."
And Hopper feels a pit in his stomach, because he's obviously talking about him.
As hard as it is to admit, Hopper isn't the easiest person to talk to. He can be a little closed off and yes, maybe a little too rough, but it stings a little to hear him say that Mike is wary of him knowing about Will's personal life.
Did Will think Hopper would be mad at him for being queer? Did Mike?
He grapples with some confusing feelings, not sure whether to let them sit there for a while or discard them completely. Rattled with guilt (and maybe embarrassment) he faintly hears El whispering.
"Right. I'm sorry, I forgot." She sounds sad, her voice quiet. "If it helps, only Hopper is home right now."
And nope. He is not going to sit and listen to Mike explain that it does indeed not help and that Hopper is probably the problem, so he makes a swift retreat down the stairs.
He slowly sinks down into the couch, his body tense and his eyebrows furrowed. So Mike was dating... Will. Or not? He didn't know anything about this stuff, but they were at least in love. Hopper wasn't going to pretend to understand, but it was clear from El's words that they were gay.
-And it was clear from Mike's that they were afraid of Will's family finding out. Or just Hopper.
He groans again, his head hitting the couch. Apparently, he has to have another conversation with Mike Wheeler about relationships. Screw him.
Judging by his messy record of relationship talk, this probably wouldn't go well. He needed a game plan.
As much as he hates it, he can't go to Joyce for advice. She might not know about Will, and he wants to avoid that conversation whatsoever. Plus, if he told on the boy to his own mother that little trust he has in Hopper would vanish.
Fuck feelings, seriously. They just make everything more confusing.
So he couldn't go to Joyce, and he couldn't go to Jonathan for the same reason then-
-Fuck he had to figure this out on his own, didn't he?
He'll need time to talk to the boy and some emotional preparation. The family said they'd be home from their grandparents at 7:00, so that gave him 4 hours.
As he waits, watching the TV, he runs the situation over in his head.
—-------------------------------------
At almost exactly 7:00 on the dot, he hears the telltale signs of a door being unlocked. The family bustles in, setting down bags on the counter. Looking over from the TV Hopper spots Joyce headed towards the couch.
His heart flutters when he sees her like a fucking schoolboy. Her slightly damp curly hair from the light pour outside, the beige cardigan that somehow looks good with the red tank top (he'll never understand how women do it), and her warm smile that makes the room heat up just a little bit more. He doesn't think he'll ever stop feeling this reaction when he sees her.
Before he can get anything more than a kiss and hello in, he catches Will awkwardly shuffling out of unpacking in his peripherals. He drops the groceries on the counter and, awkwardly glancing around, tiptoes upstairs. Most likely to visit Mike.
And Hopper knows he has to get his shit together and treat them like any other teenager in a relationship.
So with a sigh, a pat on Joyce's thigh, and a sip of beer (he's going to need that), he excuses himself to the bathroom.
The first thing he notices as he nears Will's bedroom is that clearly Mike never understood his 3-inch rule, because the door is closed again. He wants to be mad, but he did the same shit as a kid, minus the boys, so he really can't say much other than a gentle reminder.
(He hears Joyce's voice in his head, "gentle, talk to them.")
With a quiet hand on the door, he twists the rusty knob and the door creaks open.
And he immediately regrets not knocking.
The boys are cuddled up on the bed, not too far but not practically on top of each other, with miscellaneous comics spread out across the sheets. Mike is pointing out a drawing, and he wasn't here to hear what he said but Will is smiling like Mike fucking caught the sun.
The second the door creaks, however, they fly apart like he'd walked in on them murdering someone. Will stares at Hopper in discomfort while Mike's face falls in complete horror.
"Sorry, sorry." He waves a hand awkwardly at them, brushing aside the obvious panic. "I'll let you know I'm coming in next time."
He's not sure what that did for them, but they both almost sigh with relief. Suddenly he feels extremely out of place.
"We were just- homework-" Will chokes out, his face extremely red. He couldn't be any more obvious, because their "homework" is halfway across the room on Will's paint-stained desk.
Yeah, I'll leave you to that, just uh." He coughs, trying to break some of the obvious tension in the room. "Just, leave the door open a lil', right?" He glares at the black-haired boy while he says this.
Maybe it was a little too sudden because he watches them break out in panic again. Mike looks like he's going to throw up.
"W-what?" Will blurts out once he's regained his composure, his eyes blown wide and his hand shaking. Mike won't even look him in the eye but he contemplates running the boy to the bathroom because he's positively green.
Hopper groans softly, quiet enough not to startle them, and presses a hand to his face in stress. "Kid, I- I know. About you two."
This time Mike speaks, letting out a soft, "Oh." His eyes are burning holes in the sheets while he looks like he's about to cry and Hopper wants to run screaming because he hates emotions.
But he sighs and walks over to the (now separated) boys on the bed, both of them avoiding his gaze.
"Are you- you are... Dating, right?" He curses his stutter out of embarrassment. God, he's getting choked up over Mike Wheeler.
Mike, miraculously, answers, even though he's a second away from digging a hole in the ground. "Um, we- yes, but-"
"No buts," Hopper cuts him off, and Mike snaps his mouth shut. He finally looks over at Will, and is almost shocked by the look on his face.
He expected fear, or embarrassment, or even acceptance, but the boy's face is blank. He won't even look him in the eye.
"When I was younger, close to your age actually, there was a girl. And an amazing girl at that."
Lowering himself onto the wooden chair next to the bed, he pulls the small mini figurine El made from his pocket and rolls it in his hand.
"She was the love of my life. Great social life, not so-good grades. She got along with everyone. And she was sweet as well."
He swipes a gentle thumb over the cracked paint. Will peers curiously at the doll, some of the anxiety having passed, and recognition flashes over his face.
"One day I brought her home for tutoring, because surprise, I had pretty decent grades. I thought my parents would love her."
The woman I loved. The woman I love.
Gently, he lays the miniature on the desk to his right.
"But my parents didn't want us together."
Mike's head shoots up at this, and his face flashes with sorrow. Hopper's eyes rise to meet him. He's got plenty of explanations for the boy's reaction but none of them are exactly satisfactory.
"Now, the reason doesn't matter. The point is I understand that fear. The fear of... Rejection, of your relationship. Especially-" he glanced between the two mortified boys, "to someone you see as a parent."
(They didn't need to know that his parents were classist assholes, and the girl wasn't the richest person in town, because that was beside the point.)
When he stands to rest a slow hand on Will's head, he can almost see him flinch.
"Will, you are honestly the greatest kid I've ever had the luck of meeting. You're- you're just an honest good boy. And nothing could ever change that. Especially not a boy, even if said boy happens to be Mike Wheeler of all people."
Will's face crumples under Hopper's hand, and a few tears slip out. Hopper smiles, dropping his hand to rub the boy's back as Will rubs his grinning face.
"Thanks, Hop. You're great too." And his heart honest to god ignites when he sees the childish adoration on the kid's face.
He finally turns to address Mike, and the boy's head drops again, ready to be chewed out for dating another one of Jim's children.
"Mike, if you ever need a place to stay, you're welcome to stay for dinner on the weekdays as well. Always."
And he looks dumbfounded because Hopper just invited him over for dinner. Hopper.
"Yeah," he stutters out. "Yeah, of course. Thank you." He speaks more confidently, the nerves melting off of his body. If a few tears drop down the boy's pale face, Hopper pretends he doesn't notice.
"And you're always allowed to hang out in here as long as you keep the damn door open."
—-------------------------------------
Mike stays for dinner, as always on Saturdays. El and Will set the table, and Jonathan plates everyone a serving of lasagna and salad. Hopper and Joyce discuss her workday, and Jonathan asks El about her school week.
But Will and Mike just sit, giggling and smiling at each other, quietly whispering about some book. Will's eyes shine, and Mike looks a lot more interested in Will than Joyce's (really fucking good) lasagna.
And if they accidentally raise their linked hands above the tabletop, Hopper doesn't say a thing.