Work Text:
Just another normal day at the agency. Each of the detectives dealt with a case or reports.
"Everyone" is a rather strong word.
Dazai banged the door open, turning Dazai banged the door open, drawing the attention of all the agents.
"Oii, Kunikida!~ You know how much I like to sleep!" he exclaimed, his lazy smirk reappearing on his face.
But nothing happened. No tossing books, cracking pens or smashing screams But nothing happened. No books tossed, pens to burst, or screams to burst eardrums. Just... Silence.
This Dazai apparently did not foresee. He opened his previously closed eyes and looked around the office. The detectives immediately went back to their work, suddenly ignoring the entrance of a colleague.
The ex-mafioso blinked his eyes twice as he slowly moved deeper into the office. Honestly? He expected his partner to pop out from around the corner. But again, nothing happened.
"Uh...Atsushi?" he mumbled, looking around uneasily.
"As for Kunikida, I think he's... He's late" he replied, whispering the last word.
"...Wow. This message kicked me harder than Chibi's wine" Dazai admitted casually laying down on the couch "Or is Kuni lying dead somewhere? Nooo... Even death wouldn't stop him from working" he sighed.
"It's not funny..." replied Atsushi. He was clearly a bit worried about the elder's absence.
"Don't worry, Atsushi!" Tanizaki said, placing his pen on the desk "Even if something were to happen, Yosano would stick him together!"
That didn't satisfy his anxiety at all. Rather, it deepened it even more. Because basically anything could happen! A train could have derailed, a terrorist attack, death in one's sleep... Even the car hit sounded believable.
"Atsushi, he'll be fine!" cried Ranpo, looking up from the book Poe had recently given him "I assure you he's fine! And in five seconds he'll be in the office."
"...Five seconds?" repeated the weretiger, immediately turning his gaze to the door.
"And it starts again. It was so peaceful!~" Dazai sighed, taking the headphones from the table and putting them on his ears.
Just as Ranpo deduced, the door immediately opened and a panting Kunikida stood there.
"Sorry that I'm late...!" he panted as he entered the office and quickly took his place behind the desk.
Some followed him with their eyes, but then they too went about their tasks. They knew that Kunikida would prefer not to pay attention to him now. But Atsushi continued to stare in his direction.
"Did something happen, Kunikida?" he asked, which gave him a sharp look. He probably wanted the white-haired man to return to work.
Soon, however, the blonde sighed, taking off his glasses to wipe them.
"I had a rather important package today... But luckily it arrived intact" he confessed, which immediately caught the attention of all the agents.
"What's in the package?" Kenji asked, smiling curiously at the detective.
Kunikida looked in their direction for a while, and finally pointed with his hand for the curious to approach. Immediately everyone gathered at the desk of the blonde. Except for Dazai who closed his eyes and listened to the music. He looked like he was sleeping. But it was obvious that if something happened, Dazai would be ready to act right away.
Kunikida placed the package on his lap and opened it for the others to see.
"Book?" Naomi asked, looking at the little book inside the box. She looked quite old, but quite well-kept.
"...Diary" added Ranpo, glancing briefly at the book.
"Awwww, would Kunikida want to start writing a diary?" Yosano asked teasingly, at which Tanizaki snorted with laughter.
"What? Not at all!" shouted the bespectacled man, obviously offended by her words "This diary is sacred to me!"
Kunikida sighed again, carefully placing his hands on the book and taking it out of the box.
"This diary once belonged to one of my ancestors. He knew his stuff and was almost perfect" he admitted, staring at the diary. "Finally, his notes were put together and I can find out more about him."
"Wow, that sounds really interesting, Kunikida!" Atsushi commented, seeing a small smile spread across the elder's face.
"Can we read with you?" Kyōka asked in a low voice, also looking at the diary.
"That would be really cool!" Kenji agreed throwing his hands up.
"....Well... We were supposed to go back to work" remarked Kunikida, wondering "But... Since I'm late, then... You should probably get some kind of salary"
"...Uh... Let it be" he agreed finally, to which the others smiled cheerfully.
Eventually they all moved their chairs closer to Kunikida, and Yosano and Ranpo sat down or leaned against the desk.
"Okay... Just don't break anything" Kunikida mumbled, opening the book carefully so as not to accidentally tear the page off. It didn't show, but he was really excited!
There was only an elegant signature on the title page.
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" 𝓒𝓵𝓮𝓻𝓲𝓿𝓪𝓷 𝓟𝓮𝓵𝓵𝓮𝓽 "
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Atsushi flinched as Kunikida slammed his fist on his desk. He hadn't expected such reactions.
"That signature already looks perfect!" he mumbled, and Yosano patted her friend on the shoulder with a smile.
"Show me the next page before you cry" she stated as Kunikida rubbed his eyes with his hand.
The man carefully turned to the next page. This is where the diary itself began.
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"Day : 13 ( month and year blurred )
This diary was not one of my ideas or goals. Honestly? I don't know what to write in it other than my research or discoveries. I spend most of my time on tactics with Miss Florentia anyway.
However, a good (not at all) friend told me to write down my thoughts. To quote "Don't be so serious. Put your thoughts on paper and you'll feel better." It's rather a waste of time, but why not?
He's even weirder than some lunatics anyway. I probably just got acquainted with one of them. Our first meeting was definitely one of those. It was in the evening when I was returning in the carriage to the Lombardi estate. There was no indication that the carriage shuddered violently and stopped. Surprised, I looked out of it when I saw... Just a man who fell under the wheels.
And not. He wasn't dead. And he seemed very disappointed about it."
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"...What?" Tanizaki cut in, not quite understanding what Kunikida had just read.
"Hmm... Weird" Ranpo muttered, biting into the candy he had in his mouth.
"Shush! Don't interrupt!" said Kunikida, who was the only one not paying attention to the described encounter. He was just enjoying the opportunity to learn a little more about his ancestor "Where did I end up..."
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"...I stepped out of the carriage, apparently surprised by this assassination weapon. Or rather, suicide. Had it not been for my indignation, the man would have left as if nothing had happened. But it stayed when I tried to figure out what happened.
He only replied He only replied that "It wasn't his perfect attempt, but the carriage looked too tempting." I had no idea what to answer, to which he just smiled.
That's the next question I remember until now.
"Do you want something to drink?"
Not even a few minutes had passed before the would-be corpse dragged me to the nearest bar. It was really unprofessional Not even a few minutes had passed before the would-be corpse dragged me to the nearest bar. It was really unprofessional of me, but... The stranger didn't even give me a chance to say no.
And that's how I met the only person who was crazy enough to voluntarily jump under the carriage. I have no idea why she keeps hanging out with him.
However, it was thanks to him that this journal was created in the first place. However, it was thanks to him that this journal was created in the first place. Maybe I can fill a few more pages."
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More of Clerivan's experiences were listed in later sections. But also a bit more about his and his friend's relationship.
"I'm having a slight deja vu" Atsushi muttered when he heard that Kunikida's ancestor's friend was terribly lazy and was often late to help Clerivan.
"So it's not just me?" Naomi muttered, smiling nervously.
"I feel sorry for him. Apparently, he must have lived a few years with a person similar to our favorite!" Yosano laughed, pointing to the sleeping Dazai.
"So it's not just stiffness that Kunikid inherited!" Ranpo joked, to which Kunikid gave him an annoyed look.
"Ha, ha, ha... Very funny!" the blonde hissed, rolling his eyes.
As he listened to the funny comments, Kyōka took the diary, flipping through its pages carefully. More descriptions of experiences, some events, acquaintances and... something else.
"... Kunikida?" said the girl, drawing everyone's attention. She may not have spoken too loudly, but when she spoke, she was able to attract everyone's attention.
The blonde looked at her questioningly. At which she turned the book towards him. Immediately, the atmosphere in the office seemed to stop, and everyone looked at the page surprised, confused and... It was even difficult to describe their emotions.
There was a dedication written on the penultimate page.
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"For my good and crazy friend
Dazai Osamu
Remember to live"
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Everyone stared at him without saying a word, not knowing what to say. Apparently even Ranpo hadn't expected this.
Finally, this silence also caught Dazai's attention. He opened his eyes, seeing that everyone had gathered at Kunikida's desk.
"Hey! Why didn't anyone wake me up?~" he exclaimed, jumping to his feet and immediately walking towards them with a cheerful stride "I'm missing something again!"
He leaned in next to his partner, looking at what Kyōka was holding. But... He didn't say anything. Like everyone else, he stared silently at the page.
After a moment, a gentle smile appeared on his face. A real smile.
How carefully he took the book from the younger one, examining the dedication. He shook his head in amusement, running his finger along the edge of the page.
"Oh Cler... You've always been sentimental" he sighed softly, closing his eyes.
How he hadn't seen anything related to his rather... Long life in a long time. How else he belonged to an organization before the Port Mafia. Before Yokohama even existed.
Is it hard enough to find anything when you experience everything? Just like with loved ones... Everyone dies anyway. In the end, you're standing on their graves. That was also one of the things why Dazai didn't care about life. It wasn't important to him. It was passing. And his? It couldn't.
His flame of life was never extinguished.
No matter what Dazai did, he couldn't die. Haven't found the perfect way to do it yet. But... Someday for sure.
One day he wants to die first. Not to have to see his new family die before his eyes again...
This time, he wants to be the first.
It took him a moment to remember that they were all around him. He opened his eyes, taking his hand away from the book. He put the journal back on the desk.
"Oh, I think it's time for lunch!~" he called, immediately going to the door. Again, the master of masks is back.
As soon as he stepped out of the doorway, he immediately heard the screams of all the agents.
"WHAT?!"
He shook his head slightly, shoving his hands into his coat pockets.
You've always had to give me trouble, Cler. Even after so many years...
Thank you. Thanks for your friendship.