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Chuuya wanted to fucking throw his goddamn phone out of the fucking window.
It. Won’t. Stop. Ringing.
How long has it been? Probably around fifteen minutes? He doesn’t even bother to look at the caller ID anymore because it’s been the same “mackerel” flashing nonstop from his phone. He was contemplating whether to pick it up or just block that fucker’s number once and for all to finally have his peace (Ha. JK. He could never do that). He looked at the phone on his bedside table with anger, then it finally stopped. Oh my gosh, it finally stopped ringing.
One minute…
Two minutes…
Five minutes…
It stopped.
With glee, he pulled his blanket to go to bed, and the moment he put his head on the pillow, that fucking phone started to ring again. Okay, fuck this, he has had enough. He clenched his jaw and snatched the phone, getting ready to scream at the person who dared to disturb him at 2 fucking AM.
“THE FUCK YOU WANT YOU SHITTY MACKEREL?”
It was complete silence for a couple of seconds before… he heard a sniffle.
His anger evaporated, replaced by concern. Just to be sure, he checked the caller ID again, and it was “mackerel” in all caps. Hesitantly, he said, “Hello? Is this really you, mackerel?”. He heard a sniffle once again, “Of course, it’s me you slug! Why were you ignoring me and screaming at me when you picked up? What a meanieeee!” the voice answered, clearly whining in between crying. Flustered, Chuuya replied with a softer tone, “I’m sorry. What is it? What do you need?” It’s like he can hear the man pouting before answering, “Pick me up.”
Then the line went silent. He hung up.
Chuuya clicked his tongue and grumbled on the way to grab his coat, wallet, and car keys to fulfill the bastard’s request.
He hated this because he knew how far the bar was from his place, but what he hated the most was that he immediately knew where to go, even though that guy only told him to pick him up. That’s what a seven-year situationship does to you, kids. Thankfully, the road was quite empty because it was literally two in the fucking morning, dammit.
Why does he keep on pulling this kind of shit? Chuuya stared at the empty road. They had known each other since they were fifteen. They were this so-called power duo “double black” back in the day, but the fucker decided to leave the underground world behind and step into the light. After his partner’s betrayal, a lot of his subordinates looked at him differently for a while, with this kind of… pity in their eyes, but of course, he glared back at them. He doesn’t need their pity. Yes, being left behind by someone who dragged him here in the first place sucks, but it doesn’t mean that he can’t live without him, for fuck’s sake. To be honest, he was kind of happy for him. He looked like he was doing so much better on the good side. No more crime, no more being in the darkness. Don’t tell him Chuuya said this, though.
After around 30 minutes, he arrived, parked his car on the empty street, and made his way to the alley where the bar was located. There it is, the bright sign that said “Lupin” greeted him. He went down the stairs to find his… he doesn’t even know what exactly their current relationship is and how to describe it, but anyway, he immediately found that waste-of-bandages sleeping on the bar table next to a glass of whiskey on the rocks with his hair disheveledly fallen to his face and a tear streak on his cheek. Okay, that’s lowkey cute– huh, what the fuck? Stop it. He cursed to himself.
He walked closer, “Wake up, you bastard.”
As if he were a robot, the man in front of him abruptly opened his eyes, making Chuuya back away by reflex. The man lifted his head from the bar table and straightened his back. He blinked a couple of times while staring blankly into Chuuya’s eyes. A few seconds later, he probably realized who the person standing in front of him was and proceeded to show the most sickening expression he ever put on (according to Chuuya). Messy hair, flushed face, stupid smile, and those exasperating brown eyes looking at Chuuya like… like… what the fuck does that look mean does he wanna fight?
What’s with those eyes? Why is he looking at me like that? And why is he smiling? Is he that happy to see me– wait, fuck. What am I thinking about?
Before Chuuya finished reorganizing his thoughts, a hand pulled his wrist to bring him into a tight hug.
“Chuuya! How I miss you!”
He let go of the hug, but he still put his hands on Chuuya’s shoulder. Chuuya grabbed the man’s hand to remove it from his shoulder, “Dazai,” he said with a flat tone.
That man, Dazai, gave Chuuya an even bigger, stupider smile, and captured Chuuya’s face with both of his palms and squished it. Chuuya was about to protest before Dazai let out a soft giggle while pinching and kneading his cheeks.
Well… I guess I can let him have fun for a while.
“Chuu~ya~” Dazai called him with a sing-song voice.
“What is it?”
Dazai pulled him closer once more and started to examine Chuuya’s face closely. Too close. Chuuya looked away to avert his gaze.
“Chuuya is so pretty~ his freckles are pretty, his hair is pretty, they’re also soft and fluffy, also his eyes, oh my gosh his eyes… I don’t mind drowning in them— everything about him is so so soooo prettyyyy!~” Dazai said while touching Chuuya’s face.
Fuck. Chuuya can physically feel the heat going to his face and he knew so damn well he probably looked as stupid as that shitty Dazai now. “Let go of me,” Chuuya said in embarrassment, making Dazai’s expression look even happier. Sadistic bastard. But nothing, I repeat, absolutely nothing can prepare Chuuya for what was about to happen in the next few seconds from now.
“Wow~ Chuuya is even prettier when he’s embarrassed~” Dazai said before he started to smother Chuuya’s face with kisses.
Chuuya is officially gone.
He stood there frozen for a moment, but then quickly tried to collect himself together with the last remaining sanity he had left. He grabbed Dazai’s shoulders and pushed them away from him to be greeted once again with that annoying face of his. Dazai moved his hands and locked them around Chuuya’s waist while still looking at him like a lovesick puppy.
“Teehee~ I’ve always wanted to kiss Chuuya like that because Chuuya’s just so pretty and adorable~” With his face still as red as his hair, Chuuya rolled his eyes, “Let’s go. I’ll drive you back.” Chuuya reached inside his coat pocket to find his wallet and grab some cash to pay for Dazai’s drink. Then he took Dazai’s wrist, trying to drag him along, but of course, being the annoying bastard that he is, he wouldn’t let go of his grip on Chuuya’s waist. Irritated, Chuuya shot a glare toward Dazai, “What?”
Dazai shut his eyes, hummed what seemed like one of his made-up song melodies, swayed his body back and forth, and eventually opened his eyes to look at Chuuya once again. He lifted his hands, now draping them on Chuuya’s shoulders, and wrapped his lanky legs around the smaller man’s waist.
“Will Chuuya carry me back?”
A resigned sigh left Chuuya’s lips. He then adjusted Dazai’s position so he’d be able to carry him, and after he made sure Dazai wouldn’t fall, he walked to the exit with Dazai hanging on him while constantly nuzzling his neck.
“Mmmhhh… Chuuya smells so nice~” Dazai mumbled with his face on Chuuya’s neck while lightly kissing it.
Chuuya tried to ignore Dazai’s outrageous action and the low vibration he felt when Dazai spoke, “Shut the fuck up. You’re heavy.”
When they got into his car, Chuuya placed Dazai in the passenger seat before going to the driver’s seat because how the hell would he drive with a full-grown man on his lap? He’d rather not die in a car accident, thank you very much. He helped to put on Dazai’s seatbelt before his, then turned on the car engine. He was about to start driving, but he felt an unpleasant vibe from his left. Bothered, he turned to Dazai’s direction to find him pouting.
Chuuya widened his eyes, “YOU’RE pouting? You, a whole grown-ass man, pouting. The fuck you’re pouting for?”
“Chuuya is a meanie,”
Un fucking believable. “What was that supposed to mean?! I literally drove all the way to fucking Tokyo from Yokohama just to pick you up and you called me a meanie?! What do you want?!” Chuuya said in frustration.
Dazai went silent and stared at Chuuya with his puppy-like eyes. Fucking dammit, he looks so adora- NO SHUT THE FUCK UP DON’T EVEN FINISH THAT SENTENCE YOU STUPID BRAIN.
“I’ve been kissing Chuuya this whole time, but Chuuya didn’t kiss me back…” Dazai whined.
Chuuya slammed his head on the steering wheel. Fucking goddamnit shit ass motherfucker- I can’t fucking do this anymore, I CANNOT. I GIVE UP. FUCK.
He closed his eyes and breathed deeply. It took him a while to compose himself and to look at Dazai again. When he finally did, he slowly reached Dazai’s face, cupping it. He brought his face closer to Dazai’s and stopped when their nose almost touched.
“Where do you want me to kiss you, hm?”
Dazai answered Chuuya’s question by puckering his lips and closing his eyes.
A soft laugh escaped Chuuya’s lips as he delicately caressed Dazai’s cheek with his thumb, “If we were to have our first kiss, I’d rather do it when you’re fully sober. Will a forehead kiss be sufficient?”
Dazai opened his eyes and stared at Chuuya with his mouth agape, then slowly nodded his head. Chuuya gave him a gentle smile then tilted his head, “Can I get a verbal response, please?” Dazai grabbed Chuuya’s hand and smiled, “Yes, but only if you kiss my cheeks too.”
After getting permission and an additional request, Chuuya carefully lifted Dazai’s hair from his face and pressed a long kiss on his forehead. He then moved to Dazai’s left and then right cheek, and finished it by slightly rubbing their nose together.
He retreated to his seat. “Happy?” Dazai nodded.
“Now, let’s go. How’s my place sound?”
“Wonderful.”
During the entire car ride back, not once did Dazai let go of his hand, and he didn't mind one bit. Other than crying whiny bratty flirty drunk, it seems like Dazai’s also a clingy drunk who won’t be satisfied just by holding hands as he lay his head on Chuuya’s shoulder and kept demanding him to kiss the top of his head, to make the headache go away, he said. Weirdly, Chuuya continued to comply with Dazai’s demand like an absolute lovesick fool.
All of a sudden, Dazai sat up straight. Losing the warmth on his hand and left shoulder, Chuuya asked him, “What’s wrong?”
“Chuuya, I think I’m gonna be sick.”
The car stopped abruptly. Chuuya went pale and looked at Dazai with horror on his face, “Oh fuck no, I swear you better not fucking vomit in my car or I will literally fucking kill you.” Dazai put a hand to cover his mouth and then made a gagging sound. Chuuya panicked and immediately looked for the nearest trash can he could find. Oh, nice, there’s one in front of that convenience store. He sped up, quickly parked his car, and helped Dazai walk to one of the trash cans. Luckily, he managed to bring Dazai there before he threw up on his freshly washed car.
“There, there. Let it all out.”
“Chuuya, I feel so— bleeerrgghhh. I hate this!” Dazai cried.
Chuuya helped Dazai wipe his mouth, then took him to one of the seats in front of the convenience store to let him get some fresh air. He then got up to buy Dazai a bottle of water to sober him up a bit, but Dazai grabbed his wrist and whined for him not to leave him alone. “I’m just going to buy you water–” “NO! I don’t need water, I only need Chuuyaaaa!” This bitch – Chuuya forcefully let go of his wrist and sprinted to the store, ignoring the screams of his name by the whiny creature he left behind. After getting water and a bunch of food and snacks because that guy is probably hungry, Chuuya took a 10000 yen bill from his wallet and then slammed it on the counter, “Keep the change.”
Outside, Chuuya found Dazai sulking while crossing his hands on his chest, “Why didn’t Chuuya just use his ability?”
He chuckled, “I’m a wanted criminal, remember? I can’t carelessly use my ability like that. Anyway, here are some water and food. I bet you’re hungry after all of that puking.” As if it were on cue, Dazai’s stomach growled. Still sulking, but he took the water bottle and gave it to Chuuya, “Can Chuuya open this for me?” he then took the crab-flavored onigiri, “Also, I want this heated, please.” Chuuya then opened the bottle and walked back to the store so he could heat the onigiri.
After finishing eating, they went back to the car with some of the snacks they hadn’t eaten. Once again, Dazai rested his head on Chuuya’s shoulder and locked their hands together as Chuuya drove away.
The moment they arrived, Dazai, being the bratty princess that he is, once again asked to be carried by Chuuya all the way to the penthouse where Chuuya lived. Mind you, Chuuya was already officially gone here, so naturally, he gladly obeyed her Highness’ command.
When they were finally inside Chuuya’s place, Dazai immediately went to Chuuya’s room and lay down horizontally, occupying the entire king-sized bed.
“Ew gross! At least change your clothes first!” Chuuya said as he threw on a pair of gray sweatpants with a matching sweater. It was Dazai’s, of course, they actually visited each other’s place quite often and had each other’s clothes in their closet—it’s complicated, okay? Chuuya went to the bathroom to brush his teeth, wash his face, and put on his skincare once again because a certain bandaged fool forced him to go out when he was about to sleep.
Chuuya got out to find Dazai had already changed his clothes and claimed the left side of the bed. He slipped inside the blanket next to Dazai, facing each other. He lifted his right arm to Dazai’s cheek and stroked it. He smiled, “You should really brush your teeth, you still smelled like vomit.” Offended, Dazai got off the bed and threw one of Chuuya’s plushies straight to his face.
Twenty minutes passed, and now, Dazai, who had already finished cleaning himself up, snuggled closer to Chuuya. He grabbed Chuuya’s arm and clung to it. Chuuya smirked, “Aww, does ‘Samu want to cuddle?” he asked in a baby voice while reaching Dazai’s face with his free arm. He can physically feel the heat traveling to Dazai’s face. He smirked even bigger. Oh, he knew exactly how calling his first name affected Daza,i and he absolutely loved seeing him all shy and face flushed like this. Okay, maybe he’s a little sadistic, too.
Dazai backed away and then looked at him, “...can I sleep on Chuuya’s chest?” Chuuya responded by opening his arms and Dazai swiftly went in. He always loved cuddling with Dazai like this. He loves the warmth he feels, he loves being this close that he can hear Dazai breathing, and he loves feeling Dazai’s hair gently tickle his face, and he loves caressing it. It seemed like he used Chuuya’s dry shampoo, knowing damn well how Chuuya hates it when people touch his hair care products, but oh well, he’ll just confront him later.
He felt Dazai’s bandaged arms tighten around his waist and his face deeper on his chest making them pretty much glued together. He gently caressed Dazai's hair as he closed his eyes and slowly went to his slumber.
—
Dazai had woken up with his head throbbing. Wait— What happened? Where am I? What time is this? He then tried to open his eyes to register his current situation only for him to see navy silk pajamas in front of him. Oh, shoot did I sleep with someone? When he thought about it, he did feel kind of warm and cozy, like someone had embraced him. No, wait, actually it’s not his imagination, he is being embraced by someone, but who? He looked to his side and found a small hand holding his head, and he saw his own arm hugging this person’s waist. He blushed. This is so domestic, and why does this feel familiar, somehow?
He braced himself to look up and see his cuddle partner. When he did, his whole body went rigid. Oh no. He saw the beautiful face of the man he’s been desperately pining for over seven years. He immediately backed off and got up into a sitting position. No no no, he is literally the worst person I can sleep with, he’s the only one I shouldn’t mess up…
His sudden movement seemed to surprise his partner awake as he rustled around, rubbed his eyes, and opened them. Blue met brown; they stared at each other with different expressions. One was terrified, and one was still hazy since he had just woken up.
Not wanting to make it worse, Dazai backed down to the corner of the bed, sat on his knees, straightened up his back, and did a deep bow. Chuuya, who was still half-awake, looked at him with confusion, “Uh… what are you doing? Are you still drunk?”
“I sincerely apologize for my atrocious behavior towards Chuuya. I’m so ashamed, I deserve death,” he said while still bowing his head. After a few seconds, he got back into a kneeling position and nervously looked at Chuuya.
Chuuya blinked his eyes, then stared at him blankly, “Oh, you remember.”
He was still a little tipsy, but of course, he remembered he had been a total brat about two hours ago. After he saw Chuuya, the memory rushed back to him, making him feel so embarrassed that he just wanted to run away and never see Chuuya again. Pft– as if he can do that, he’s already too head over heels for Chuuya that he’d probably have a withdrawal after not seeing Chuuya for a couple of hours.
They stood there in silence. Chuuya was still feeling hazy because he hadn't gotten enough sleep, and Dazai was a nervous wreck, unlike his usual suave personality. Yes, they do cuddle and hang out a couple of times (a lot of times) before, but kissing? As much as Dazai wanted to, they never actually did that because what if Chuuya doesn’t like it? What if Chuuya doesn’t feel the same way— “ Ughhhh .”
Dazai looked at Chuuya, who was groaning in front of him. They stared at each other once again. Suddenly, Chuuya raised both of his hands as if he were trying to—
“Osamu.”
Dazai felt his breath hitch. My gosh, he absolutely adored how his name sounded from Chuuya’s pretty lips. Not long after that, he heard a soft laugh, “You look so stupid, don’t you know that?” "What? I–" "Ugh! Just shut the fuck up and come here already!” Chuuya said while waving his hands adorably, asking Dazai to come over.
Taken aback, Dazai opened his mouth to protest, “But the kisses–” Chuuya lowered his hands and rolled his eyes, “I can’t believe I need to say this, you do realize if I hated it I would’ve punched you and just left you in a ditch somewhere, right?” Dazai nodded, “Yeah.”
Once again, Chuuya lifted his hands, “Now come here, ‘Samu, I still wanna cuddle.” He smiled, then excitedly leaped to Chuuya’s opened arms and fell asleep to the sound of his heartbeat. It was the best sleep both of them had in a while.
Oh, they overslept by the way.
-End?