Chapter Text
Eijirou loved his job on most days, but he especially loved his job on days like this, where he was punching all of the fat off of his boss’s body. No one else could really say they had that experience and that idea made Eijirou almost giddy. He’d already done the legs and arms, and his chest was almost done. “So, kid, are you bringing anyone to this retreat?”
The question made Eijirou want to hide. He was single. There was someone he really wanted to go with, but convincing him to go would be like pushing a cloud. “Umm… I don’t know if I can.”
Fat Gum raised an eyebrow. “Are you saying that you’re single? I thought you were dating that pink girl?”
Eijirou laughed a little. He couldn’t tell if it was because he was nervous or because he’d stopped dating Mina months ago. “Oh, no we broke up.”
Fat Gum’s voice got a touch of genuine sadness. “I’m sorry I didn’t know.”
This made Eijirou laugh more. “No, it didn’t end badly or anything. We just decided we’re better off as friends. And there’s someone else that I want to date anyway. I think she could tell that I liked him the whole time.”
“So, who is this guy? Are you going to bring him on the trip? I’m going to be honest, I’d really like you there.”
Eijirou blushed at the question and avoided his boss’s eyes. “I think you’ve met him before. He goes to UA, too. Bakugou Katsuki?” EIjirou hesitated for a second. He knew that Katsuki had been framed in a really bad light starting with the sports festival, and that was only redeemed after years of good hero work.
Fat Gum’s eyes went wide with recognition. “Oh! He’s the explosion one, right? I think we met once while he was working with Best Jeanist.” Then Fat Gum’s eyes returned to Eijirou. “So you like ‘em hard to get? He seems like the kind of guy to explode someone before even thinking about kissing them.”
“Yeah… He is. But he actually admitted that I’m his best friend like a year ago. Then I cried, and then he called me a crybaby.” Eijirou smiled fondly at the memory. Even when Katsuki called him names, they felt like compliments. That’s how he knew he wanted to be around him all the time.
Fat Gum gave him a punch on the arm. “Good luck, kid. He sounds like he’ll be tough to get, but I have faith in you.”
This sentence gave Eijirou a boost of confidence. “Thanks! Who knows, maybe I’ll get him to go on the trip with me if things work out.”
This got Fat Gum to give him a smack on the back in encouragement. Eijirou almost fell over. “That’s the spirit! Alright, I think you’ve punched me enough.” Eijirou stepped back and saw his boss fully muscular. Something he didn’t see very often.
“Great. Well, hopefully, I’ll see you on the trip!” He gave Fat Gum a wave and started to walk away.
“Good luck, kid!”
Eijirou smiled and walked out of the gym, only to run into someone immediately. Eijirou stopped inches before they would’ve collided. “Hey, watch it.” His coworker spat.
Eijirou looked up at who it was and internally groaned. On the outside, he gave a polite smile. “Oh. Hey, Matsui. Are you looking for Fat Gum? He’s still in the gym.”
Matsui frowned. “Yeah, I know. I could hear you talking about this retreat thing. Are you going?” Eijirou suddenly felt like he was being interrogated by a guy who had literally nothing on him.
“I don’t know yet. I’m supposed to–”
“So no one wants to go with you, is what I’m hearing.” Eijirou paused. He didn’t really know how to respond to that. “That’s what I thought. No one wants to date you. Especially with those shark teeth.” Matsui gave him a final look and tried to brush past him.
Eijirou caught him by his shoulder. “Y’know what, I changed my mind. I thought I was going to be busy, but my schedule just cleared. I’ll see you there.” Eijirou did not like being a mean person, but wow, was this deserved. He let go of Matsui’s shoulder and walked away. The real problem now was convincing Bakugou to go.
˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗
When Eijirou got back to the dorm, he went to knock on Mina’s door. They dated for two months, and when they broke things off, Eijirou was convinced that he’d ruined one of his best friendships, but things were never awkward after. He was grateful that things ended up being alright because in moments of crisis, like the moment he was going through right then, he wouldn’t have known where else to go. Within a few seconds, the door opened, revealing Mina, who was giving Eijirou a smile. “Heyy!!” She stepped aside and let Eijirou step into the room. She grabbed his arm and pulled him down to sit next to her on the floor. “What’s up?”
Eijirou could tell that she knew something was up, and as soon as she asked, the floodgates opened. “I think I fucked up, and I don’t think I can go back, so now I have to do something that might end up with me being exploded in a million pieces.”
Mina’s eyebrows rose. “Wait, does this have something to do with Bakugou? Or are you just going to complain about your massive crush on him again?”
Eijirou blushed and shook his head. “No, it’s worse.”
Mina tilted her head. “What?! How could it possibly get worse? You’ve basically been in love with him since you saw him.”
Eijirou put his face in his hands. “Y’know that trip that Fat Gum set up for his agency?”
Mina’s jaw dropped. “You didn’t…”
Eijirou frowned. “Matsui, that guy who keeps making my life hell at work, said that I wouldn’t be able to bring anyone. And I… I told him that I’d be there with someone, which wasn’t my best moment thinking back on it because now I actually have to bring someone! But I already told Fat Gum that I wanted to bring Bakugou, and now, if I brought someone else, it would look really bad because he would know that I’m lying. So now I have to ask Bakugou to go with me, and I’m pretty sure his answer is going to be an explosion to my face…”
“Oh,” Mina said. “Yeah, you’re so fucked.” Then she laughed. “Only you could put yourself in a situation like this. I love you, Kiri, but you’re a fucking disaster.”
“I know!” Eijirou threw his hands up. “But I can’t back out now. Matsui would never let me live that down.”
Mina shrugged. “I would’ve said you can just bring me, but Fat Gum knows that we didn’t last, right? It would be pretty awkward to bring your ex to a couples retreat.”
“Yeah… I didn’t want to put you through that. It wouldn’t be fun for either of us.”
She elbowed Eijirou. “But it would be fun with Bakugou, though…?”
“Yes! Even the idea of pretending to be his boyfriend makes me feel like there are a million butterflies in my chest!”
“Then ask him!” Mina’s eyes shone with excitement. “C’mon, what’s the worst thing that could happen? He says no? You get embarrassed by your stupid coworker? But the best case is that you ask him, and he falls in love with you, and you eventually get married.”
Eijirou debated it in his head. The thing that was really holding him back was the possibility that Bakugou would react negatively. He really didn’t think that he could handle losing Bakugou as a friend. But the possibility of becoming more than friends made him excited. “Fine. I’ll ask, but if it goes bad, I’m going to blame you.”
Mina laughed. “Hey, you can’t do that! I’m trying to help you out here!”
Eijirou shook his head and let out a laugh just because of how ridiculous the situation was. “Fine. I’m done. How was your day?”
“No! You can’t flip this on me! My day was perfectly normal because I didn’t promise my coworker that I’d magically get a boyfriend within the next five days!”
“Stop! It’s already bad enough without you describing it like that!” It did sound bad. And now he had to live with it. God, he was so screwed.
“I know!” Mina’s voice got a bit louder, bringing Eijirou’s full attention back to her. “So, what’s your plan?”
Plan? Eijirou was fully committed to winging it and hoping for the best. “I don’t have one.”
“You don’t have one?!”
Mina said it was like it was a crime. Eijirou felt put on the spot. “I don’t know! I was just going to ask him tomorrow. I think he’s free after training, but he always has plans pop up during his free time, and I don’t know what to do!”
“Oh my god, you are hopeless.” Her palm hit her forehead. “Here’s what you have to do, and even Bakugou won’t be able to say no.” She stood up and started pacing while she talked. “You’re going to train with him tomorrow during class. You have to do well during training otherwise, the whole thing is a bust because you want him to be thinking positive things about you. Afterwards, you’ll bump into him organically and start telling him how you need someone worthwhile to bring on this trip. If you make it sound like a challenge, then it’ll make him want to do it. If you make it sound like a chore, he’s going to kill you. So, sound excited about it.”
Eijirou took note of all of it in his head and hoped that he wouldn’t forget later. It struck him how well Mina knew her friends. The plan was pretty airtight. Even though they used this tactic on Bakugou all the time, it also worked every single time. He loved that Katsuki never backed down when given a challenge. “That’s perfect,” Eijirou said.
Mina put a hand on her hip. “I know.”