Work Text:
February 1972
“Blood traitor! You bring dishonour on our family! We give everything, and how do you repay us? By dressing like some common mudblood and disrespecting your father! How dare you speak to him like that!”
“He deserved it for making fun of my friends! And at least I don’t look like some creepy Victorian doll left to rot!”
“Treacherous scum! I’ll teach you to show proper respect to your parents!” his mother whipped out her wand blasting him backward into the stone wall, and he crumpled to the floor with a sickening crunch, every nerve on fire.
He woke with a start, panting and propping himself up on his elbows.
“Sirius? Are you ok?”
It took a few seconds to figure out where he was. The moon shone through the gap in his curtains a small figure halfway between him and the window as if unsure whether to approach. Hogwarts. He was in his dorm in the Gryffindor Tower.
“Remus? What are you doing up? What time is it?”
He shrugged. “About 2 am. Couldn’t sleep. Did you have a nightmare?”
Sirius tensed. “It’s nothing.”
The sandy haired boy twitched one eyebrow. “Didn’t sound like nothing. You kept yelling and you’re shaking. Were you scared?”
He put on his best dismissive tone. “I said I’m fine. I’m not a kid. Only kids get nightmares.”
“It’s ok to be scared, you know, Sirius.”
“How about you go back to staring at the fucking moon?!”
Remus froze for a moment, then retreated to the windowsill.
Sirius rolled over, but was way too wired to go back to sleep. He shouldn’t have yelled at his friend. Truth was he was scared, and he hated it. He hated how his mother could just throw him around like a rag doll or do worse and never suffer anything in return. No matter how much he shouted at her he couldn’t actually hurt her. He was powerless against her and now she was taking over his dreams as well. He didn’t want to be scared. He wouldn’t let himself.
He lay listening to the sounds of Peter and James snoring. He heard a quiet sniff, followed by ragged breathing. Remus shifted weight on the windowsill, drawing his legs up. A couple seconds later, a small gasp. His stomach filled with guilt. He’d upset Remus and now he was crying. He couldn’t remember exactly what he had said in his short outburst, but clearly, it had hurt.
He rolled back over. “Sorry, Re. I shouldn’t have yelled at you. I didn’t mean to upset you.”
“What?” came the whispered reply.
Sirius propped himself up frowning. “You’re crying. I- I thought I upset you.”
“I’m not crying.”
It sounded honest enough. Remus’s voice wasn’t thick the way it usually got when he was fighting off tears.
“Oh. Ok.”
Sirius lay down. A couple more moments of silence before the unmistakable sound of a suppressed groan.
“You sure you’re ok, mate?”
“Yeah.” This time his voice was clearly strained, but not with emotion. Sirius knew that sound. He sat up.
“Someone hurt you.” His voice took a dangerous turn.
“No one- no one hurt me Sirius. Go back to sleep. I’m fi- ahhh”
Sirius pulled himself out of bed, padded across the room and settled opposite his friend on the windowsill. “You’re in pain. So who. Hurt. You?”
“No one. Really. I’m just worried about my mum. She’s really sick again. I think I’ll have to go visit her tomorrow.“
Remus screwed his eyes shut as his arm bent in on itself, muscles spasming in his hand. Sirius looked worried, putting his hand on his friend’s shaking knee, taking in how pale and drawn he looked.
“You look pretty sick yourself mate. And I don’t think it’s normal for worry to make you that twitchy. Do ya want me to take you down to Madam Pomfrey?”
Remus finally breathed again, shaking his head as he heaved for oxygen. “Nah, it’ll pass soon. Pomphrey knows about it. Nothing she can do. It just happens sometimes when I’m really stressed. Thanks for looking out for me though.”
Sirius nodded though not entirely convinced. Remus always seemed even more unwell after he visited his mum, often coming back with still mending bones and cuts and ravenously hungry. He was starting to think something much worse than just a sick mum was going on.
He wanted to ask more questions, but he knew he wasn’t going to get answers.
They sat in silence for a little longer. “The full moon looks really cool tonight” He commented absently.
Remus made a nondescript noise beside him. “Nearly.”
Sirius looked at him, confused.
“It’s nearly full. It’ll be properly full tomorrow night.”
Sirius waved his hand dismissively. The two boys studied the orb together in silence, one with an ever so slight smile, the other with sadness and disgust.
“We should get some sleep,” Remus eventually murmured. “Still have a whole day of classes tomorrow. Good night Sirius. Thanks for looking out for me.”
Sirius watched the thin boy stumble back to his bed. A determination to figure out what was really happening filled him as he climbed back under his own covers. No one was going to hurt his friend like that. He wouldn’t stand by helplessly in this.