theeaters
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Operation Walburga's Arbitrary No Kissing Ever Rule by courfee
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
16 Sep 2023
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Summary
“Excuse me, you what?”
“I want you to take Regulus out on a date,” Sirius repeats casually as if he hasn’t just said the most absurd thing ever, watching the Snitch that had escaped James’ hand the second Sirius had made the ridiculous request the first time.
James stares at his best friend in disbelief, because what?
“Look, if you go on a date with Regulus, I can go out on my Moony date. My parents will realise that their stupid idea of cursing me with only getting to date once Regulus does didn’t work out because look at that, Regulus also dates! They reverse the magic, Regulus can happily go back to refusing to date anyone, I can go back happily dating Remus, and you can happily go back doing whatever you had planned to do this summer. Quidditch, I assume.”
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or: A 10 Things I Hate About You AU where James fake dates Regulus so Sirius can date Remus again
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 91,327
- Chapters:
- 11/11
- Collections:
- 14
- Comments:
- 1,579
- Kudos:
- 11,338
- Bookmarks:
- 3,242
- Hits:
- 273,962
Bookmarked by theeaters
21 Oct 2025
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what if I told you I feel like I know you by knowitsforthebetter
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
11 Aug 2023
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Summary
When Regulus Black was 19 he broke up with James Potter because he thought he didn’t know how to love. When he was 20, his brother told him that James was having a kid. When he was 30, he was teaching potions at Hogwarts, which was going swell, until one day when Harry Potter (aka the carbon copy of the boy whose heart he shattered) strolls into the Great Hall and effectively sends Regulus into a full blown panic.
Fuck.- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 96,549
- Chapters:
- 25/25
- Comments:
- 437
- Kudos:
- 2,742
- Bookmarks:
- 740
- Hits:
- 56,987
Bookmarked by theeaters
21 Oct 2025
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Summary
When James Potter is hit with a spell which makes him lose his memory, everyone is understandably freaked out. Everyone except for James, of course, who is too busy trying to reassure his boyfriend that he hasn’t forgotten him and never will.
Except, James Potter is single, and Regulus Black has no idea why he seems to think otherwise.
[or, James is confused but still a sap, Regulus is flustered, and everyone else is just along for the ride.]
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 13,325
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 221
- Kudos:
- 14,364
- Bookmarks:
- 2,827
- Hits:
- 136,189
Bookmarked by theeaters
21 Oct 2025
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Summary
**
Sometimes, Sirius couldn't help but wish the person behind that number was really the person living in the dorm across from his. The only problem was... that person, Remus Lupin, absolutely hated him.**
Another horrible encounter with his mother may have led to him "meet" the person that could may or may not be the one for him.
Filled with sarcasm, spilled coffee, and secret identities, Sirius texts the wrong number and naturally, the wrong number is Remus**
another texting AU where Sirius texts the wrong number, and you'll have to read it to find out the rest :)
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 41,384
- Chapters:
- 18/18
- Collections:
- 8
- Comments:
- 486
- Kudos:
- 4,507
- Bookmarks:
- 999
- Hits:
- 92,170
Bookmarked by theeaters
21 Oct 2025
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Like Real People Do by third_crow for barelyevenhere
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
24 Jan 2023
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Summary
“Could I get a name for the order?” Marlene asked.
“Serious,” the man replied. “Like the star,” he clarified, and Remus mentally scratched out 'Serious' and rewrote 'Sirius' in his head.
“The… star?” Marlene asked, her pen hovering over the cup as she hesitated.
“S-I-R-I-U-S,” Remus said. He stocked croissants into the display case, not looking up. “The Dog Star,” he added, “brightest star in the sky, actually. Visible from both hemispheres.” When he looked over, the man– Sirius– seemed surprised, his eyebrows raised as Remus spoke, and when Remus finished, he blinked a few times before smiling lopsidedly.
“Er– yeah,” he breathed a laugh. “That.” There was a baby on his hip. Somehow, it had taken Remus a second glance to notice that.
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Or, Remus works as a barista and Sirius comes in every morning with the world's cutest baby, and man, these two just wrote the book on mutual pining, huh?
Series
- Part 1 of the coffee shop au
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 36,527
- Chapters:
- 3/3
- Collections:
- 13
- Comments:
- 943
- Kudos:
- 20,405
- Bookmarks:
- 4,811
- Hits:
- 325,258
Bookmarked by theeaters
21 Oct 2025