Chapter Text
“I don’t know, it doesn’t really sound like my sort of thing…”
“Please come. I want you to be there.”
Charlie laughed. “But Nick, I didn’t even take GCSEs!”
They were in the park together, throwing a ball for Nellie to fetch, unwinding after Nick’s last exam.
“But I never would’ve had a chance of passing if you didn’t help me revise,” Nick pleaded. “Please, Charlie?”
How could he ever say no to that face, Nick looking at him with those big, brown, gorgeous eyes? God, he was so pathetic, crushing on his best friend still, even though it was clear Nick didn’t like him like that.
Charlie sighed, fixing Nick with a flat stare. “Fine, but-”
Nick stepped forward and wrapped Charlie in a crushing hug before he’d even finished his sentence. “Thank you,” he whispered, his breath tickling Charlie’s neck.
Fuck me, Charlie thought. How am I meant to ever get over him when he does stuff like this?
Charlie stepped back before he did anything stupid, like hold on too long, or god forbid, kiss Nick’s neck like he desperately wanted to.
He narrowed his eyes at Nick and tried to quiet the butterflies in his belly that annoyingly continued to churn up a ruckus every time Nick touched him. “I’ll go. But. If it’s too loud or overwhelming or filled with idiot bro mate energy, I’m leaving.”
“That’s fine!” Nick hastened to reassure him. “I won’t even want to be there if it’s like that. We can just leave, or find somewhere quiet to hang out, just the two of us.”
Why, why, why did Nick insist on being so warm and sweet and understanding and say things like “just the two of us” all the time?? Didn’t he realize he was making it nearly impossible for Charlie to stick to his resolution to only have platonic feelings for his best friend?
“I won’t be able to get there until later, though. I’ve got a late drum lesson tonight,” Charlie added. Truth be told, he did want to go so he could spend more time with Nick (he’d use any excuse to spend more time with Nick, pathetic lovestruck idiot that he was…), but Nick couldn’t know that. Nick could never know how he really felt.
“That’s fine!” Nick said again, his eyes wide and eager. “We’ll just find each other once you get there! I’ll make sure my phone is turned all the way up and on vibrate so I don’t miss your text.”
“You really want me to be there that badly?” Charlie knew he was fishing, but sometimes he couldn’t help himself.
“I really, really do, Char. Parties aren’t the same without you, and I truly would have failed every single one of my GCSEs if you hadn’t helped me. So you deserve to celebrate too, now that you don’t have to try to get quadratic equations and ionic compounds through my thick skull anymore,” Nick chuckled.
“Nick,” Charlie said, resisting the urge to reach out and touch his arm or take his hand. “You would’ve been fine without me. You do not have a thick skull – you just need help breaking things down into manageable pieces sometimes. Plus, I like being able to help you revise.”
Charlie always felt guilty about it, but all those hours together, their heads bent over Nick’s books and notes, Nick’s face so close Charlie could feel the warmth coming off his skin…those were some of Charlie’s favorite moments. Sometimes their fingers would even brush against each other as they reached to turn a page at the same time. A few times, Charlie thought he caught Nick blushing when that happened, but it was probably just his imagination. Charlie hoarded these moments like precious treasure, taking them out at night and pathetically turning them over and over in his mind.
“You like helping me revise?” Nick laughed.
“Yeah…?”
“Not doing much to beat those gay nerd allegations are you, Char?” Nick teased, bumping Charlie with his shoulder.
“Shut up, rugby lad!”
Nick slung his arm around Charlie’s shoulder and pulled him close, laughing happily. Charlie melted at the contact, like he always did, trying not to grin too widely. Maybe one day he would get over Nick, but that day definitely wasn’t today.
When Nick had come out as bi a couple of months ago, first to Charlie and his mum, then to their mutual friends, and finally to some of the rugby boys, Charlie had dared to hope. He had dared to hope that maybe Nick was coming out to him because he liked Charlie, too. But Nick hadn’t said anything and so Charlie hadn’t either, not wanting to make Nick feel uncomfortable. The last thing he wanted was to ruin their friendship, especially when Nick had trusted him with that part of himself. And he didn’t want Nick to think that Charlie was only friends with him because he fancied him. So Charlie had tucked his heartbreak and disappointment away again, just like he had for all of those months leading up to Nick coming out to him.
He knew he needed to get over Nick, but he just couldn’t. Nick was too lovely and kind and thoughtful and caring. And proper fit. Which didn’t help Charlie’s predicament either. But Charlie was a master at concealing his emotions, so everything would be fine. He could just keep his feelings to himself and he and Nick would continue as best friends and everything would be perfect. He would make sure of it.
///
The party was in full swing when Charlie arrived later that evening. He could smell the bonfire and see the smoke long before he arrived at the mob in the woods, walking with a skeptical Tori at his side.
“You’re sure you want to be here?” she asked doubtfully.
“Yes. Nick invited me and-”
“Oh, well if Nick invited you, then…”
“Shut up.”
Tori gave him a knowing look, the corner of her mouth turned up in a barely perceptible smirk.
“I’m just gonna go find him…” Charlie mumbled, getting out his phone.
“Fine. Bye.” Tori said flatly.
She started to wander off, presumably to find Michael. “Text me if you need anything,” she said, her voice a shade softer. Anyone other than Charlie would’ve missed it.
“I’ll be fine,” Charlie assured her.
“Because Nick will take care of you…?” Tori asked, accentuating the “k” at the end of Nick’s name.
“Shut up. Go away and find Michael.”
Tori simply raised her eyebrows at him before walking off.
After she left, Charlie sent Nick a text and then wandered around the perimeter of the hoard of students. Everyone was shouting and cheering, throwing notebooks, papers, sticks, and anything else that would burn into the enormous bonfire in the clearing in the woods. People kept pulling on his arms and shoulders, trying to swallow him into the mass of people. He craned his neck, looking for Nick, trying to extricate himself from the grabbing hands around him.
“Chaaaaarrrrlieeeeee!”
He was nearly bowled over as Nick came clumsily charging towards him out of the crowd.
“I was looking for you!” Charlie yelled over all the screaming and cacophony.
“I wass lookiingg fo’ youuuu toooo,” Nick slurred, beaming at Charlie with a dopey smile on his face.
Charlie’s eyes widened, looking at Nick incredulously. “Are you…? Are you drunk, Nick?”
“Nooooo,” Nick assured him, shaking his head in wide arcs and wagging an uncoordinated finger at Charlie.
Charlie giggled. “I’m pretty sure you are, Nicholas!”
“M’not,” he pouted. “You’re preeettty, Char!” he added suddenly.
Charlie laughed, not knowing what to make of this. Both Nick being drunk and Nick calling him… pretty??
“Nicholaaaasss!” An exuberant Harry Greene clapped Nick on shoulder roughly, appearing out of nowhere. “Want another drink, mate?”
“How many has he had?” Charlie asked, suddenly feeling protective of Nick.
“O’ly twoooo,” Nick slurred. “Orrr, maybe threeeee…?” he added, looking confused.
Harry laughed. “You’ve definitely had more than two! You’re proper pissed, mate!”
Nick looked bewildered. “M’not,” he said, looking at Harry earnestly. “Tell ‘im m’not, Char!”
“Who knew Nick was such a lightweight?” Harry laughed. “The drinks aren’t even that strong! So, you want another?”
“I think he’s had enough,” Charlie said firmly.
“Oh, are you his mum?” Harry mocked, laughing at Charlie, but Nick was looking at Charlie with stars in his eyes.
“Charlieeee?” Nick asked imploringly, completely ignoring Harry.
“You okay, Nick?” Charlie asked, concerned.
“Charlieeee, cah we go suhwhere quieter?”
“Of course,” he said to Nick, reaching out for his hand without thinking. “Let’s go.”
Nick grabbed his hand immediately and clung to him for dear life, startling Charlie back to himself as he realized what he’d done. He was holding hands with Nick Nelson, in front of Harry Greene. So much for hiding his feelings…
He turned away from Harry sharply and pulled Nick away as quickly as he could given Nick’s inebriated state. Nick kept tripping and falling into Charlie, giggling and rambling on about something Charlie couldn’t understand. Charlie led them through the trees until he finally found a quiet place for them to sit at the base of a large evergreen, away from most of the crowd.
Nick giggled as he tried to sit down, flopping against Charlie as he landed heavily on the ground. “You’re so waaarmmmm, Char,” Nick hummed happily, burrowing his head into Charlie’s shoulder, waggling his head back and forth.
“Okay, drunky,” Charlie laughed. “Try to sit up instead of drilling a hole into my chest with your head.”
“Mmmmm, but Char!” Nick whined.
Charlie just looked at him, laughing helplessly. Nick gazed back at him with the same dopey smile before bursting into a fit of uncontrollable giggles. He fell into Charlie again and then nearly fell into the tree next to them, Charlie reaching out to steady him.
“Nick, careful!” Charlie laughed.
“You take s-s-sssuch gooood caaaare of meeeee, Charlieeeeee,” Nick slurred, his words coming out slow and overexaggerated. He looked at Charlie so adoringly that Charlie had to look away.
“Nick, you’re drunk,” he said, shaking his head and reaching out to steady Nick as he listed to the side once more.
“I miiiiissssed youuuu,” Nick said earnestly, grabbing on to Charlie’s hand.
“You missed me?” Charlie laughed. “I saw you like four hours ago in the park with Nellie!”
“I knooooooow, but,” Nick whined. “Parties are mo’ fun with youuuu.” He punctuated that last statement with a sharp, uncoordinated poke to the dimple on Charlie’s right cheek.
A half-squawk, half-laugh burst out of Charlie. “Um, excuse me! What are you doing?” he laughed at Nick.
“Poking your diiimple,” Nick giggled, continuing to poke at Charlie’s cheek with varying degrees of accuracy. “They’re so cuuuuuute!”
“Nick, stop!” Charlie laughed, grabbing Nick’s finger and pulling it away from his face.
Nick stuck his bottom lip out and pouted. “You’re no fun,” he said, crossing his arms petulantly across his chest.
“You seem like you had plenty of fun before I got here!” Charlie chuckled.
“Nooooooo!” Nick said, his eyes suddenly wide and imploring. “I neeeeever have fun without youuuuuu!” He grabbed both of Charlie’s hands then, clutching them tightly.
“Well, I’m here now,” Charlie smiled, shaking his head at Nick. “You’re really silly when you’re drunk, y’know that?” And kind of handsy, too…he added silently. It made him feel slightly guilty, but he was enjoying this version of Nick a lot.
“Do I make you laugh?” Nick asked eagerly.
“Yes, Nick,” Charlie chuckled. “You make me laugh.”
Nick sighed the most contented sigh Charlie had ever heard come from a person, his face relaxing into a blissful smile and his entire body melting with happiness.
“I loooove making you laugh, Char,” Nick said earnestly. “It’s my faaaaav’rit sound.”
“Nick…”
“I loooove your little giggle! It’s so cuuuuuute!” Nick beamed at Charlie. “And your dimpleeeesss!” he added, releasing Charlie’s hands to poke clumsily at his cheeks again.
“Yeah, you said!” Charlie laughed.
Nick had always been an affectionate friend, open with his feelings and physical affection, but this was something else entirely. Charlie didn’t know what to make of it, but he decided to just enjoy it while it lasted. He was sure Nick would be mortified when Charlie recounted the evening to him the next day, and he planned to take the piss out of Nick for it for a long, long time.
Suddenly, there was a hand cupping the side of his neck and Nick’s fingers were tangling in his hair. Charlie froze, mid-laugh, looking with wide eyes at Nick.
“God,” Nick said, looking adoringly at Charlie. “I love your hair so much.” He sounded much more sober all of a sudden, only slurring his words slightly.
“Nick, I…what…?”
But Nick was undeterred by Charlie’s confusion. “I love your eyes,” he continued, punctuating what he said with a little shake of Charlie’s head, his hand still warm against Charlie’s neck, his fingers scratching lightly at his scalp.
“For god’s sake!” Charlie laughed, at a loss to understand what was happening.
“I love-”
“Nick! There you are, mate!” Christian’s voice cut through the trees as he ambled over to them.
Nick’s hand was still on Charlie’s neck, their faces close, as they both turned abruptly to look at Christian. Charlie knew his face was deeply flushed and he tried his best to school the panic in his eyes.
“Oh, um…am I interrupting something?” Christian asked awkwardly, taking in the scene in front of him.
“Um…” Charlie started. He could feel Nick tense next to him.
Christian looked between them for a minute before laughing and clapping Nick on the back. “Fucking finally mate! All that pining was getting really hard to watch.”
And then he was gone, chuckling to himself as he walked back through the trees.