Work Text:
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Date: 06 Jan 2002
Subject: Scully, it’s me.
And, because it’s me, I know what you’re going to ask, so I’ll just say it: nonfat tofutti rice dreamsicle.
I still think the question should have been: “what is Walter Skinner’s drag name?”.
Yours, with love,
You-Know-Who
P.S. Give my love to your mom when you see her at church later – say a few hail Mulders for me, for old time’s sake?
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Date: 06 Jan 2002
Subject: Re: Scully, it’s me.
Jesus Christ, Mulder. I’d ask how you could joke around at a time like this, but I suppose it’s further proof that I’m talking to the right person.
I’ve been praying for this day for months, and now it’s happened I don’t know what to say. Except that I miss you, and wish I could be with you. Both of us do. (You know I can’t mention this to my mom, but she’s been praying for you too, particularly since she knows I can’t tell her where you are or when you’ll be back. I still maintain you’re the favorite child.)
I just hope you’re safe, wherever you are. As happy as I am to hear from you, I don’t want anything to compromise your safety. We want you back here, but only once you’re no longer in danger.
All my love, Dana xxx
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Date: 07 Jan 2002
Subject: Dearest Dana
I suppose we really ought to be on first-name terms by now. Most people probably would be before they had a baby together, but I suppose we’re not most people. I’ve never liked “Fox”, but somehow the way you say it makes me almost want to change my mind.
Especially when you say it like you said it in bed, that night after I came back from England. (Is that what the kids call “cybering”?)
I’m pleased to hear I’m as scintillating as ever. I wish I could hear your laugh and see your smile, and am more grateful than ever for my ability to memorize so I could carry as much of you and William with me as possible. Those precious memories are what keeps me going. The thought that one day I’ll be able to return and we can finally be a family.
I’m sorry I haven’t been able to get in touch until now. Believe me, it wouldn’t have been my choice.
I've resisted contacting you for reasons I know you continue to appreciate. But, to be honest, some unexpected dimensions of my new life are eating away at any resolve I have left. I'm lonely, Dana, uncertain of my ability to live like this. I want to come home. To you, and to William.
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Date: 07 Jan 2002
Subject: Re: Dearest Dana
I am physically shaking right now seeing your words. Wishing it were you speaking them to me. I want so badly to see you too, but you are still not safe here.
It’s strange. Sometimes, in the very early days, I would long for a full 24 hours where you didn’t call with your latest theory or case or ridiculous thing you’d read about on the internet. Now, I would love nothing more than to hear your voice, whatever you had to tell me. I sometimes find myself picking up the phone to call you too, before I remember. I try to tell myself it won’t be long until we’re together again. Sometimes I even believe it.
William is next to me as I write this. He’s really starting to look like you, especially when he smiles. He was teething last week, which is always a miserable experience for both of us, but a little Three Dog Night seems to work wonders when he needs lulling to sleep. (Like father, like son?) He’s crawling like a champ, so I’m sure it won’t be long until he’s walking, and then talking. I’m convinced his first word will be “dada” given how much I talk to him about you.
I just can’t get over how we made the most beautiful thing in the world together. I’m sure every mother thinks that, but it's amazing how I’m the only one who’s actually right.
There’s not much to update you on when it comes to me specifically. Quantico is good – not quite as exciting as our work, but I’m enjoying teaching again. It took a couple of weeks to shrug off the “Professor Spooky” comments, but to be honest I didn’t mind it that much really. Other than that, and William… and the fact you’re still my mom’s favorite… not much going on. I got a new coffee machine because Old Reliable finally broke, and I started having bee pollen in my yogurt again this week in preparation for allergy season. (You ask for mundane, you get mundane.)
Fox, there are so many things I wish I’d said to you while we were together. I know we’ll be together again soon, when the danger has subsided, and rest assured I’ll never let anything remain unsaid again.
Love, Dana and William xxx
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Date: 10 Jan 2002
Subject: To my one in *six* billion
I hold no hope you can respond to this. Or that it reaches you. I only hope that you are alive.
I cannot help believing that you jumped off that train because you knew what I now know - that these "super-soldiers," if that's what they are, can in fact be destroyed. That the key to their destruction lies in the iron compound at that quarry.
I am scared for you, Mulder. And for William. The forces against us are unrelenting. But so is my determination. To see you again. To regain the comfort and safety we shared for so brief a time.
Until then, I remain forever yours... Dana
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Date: 16 Jan 2002
Subject: Not dead yet
You should know by now that you can't get rid of me that easily, Scully!
Anyway… I’m sure you also appreciate that I don’t want to share any details of what I might know, or not know, about this whole situation. And of course, I can’t tell you much about what’s going on with me otherwise – not that there is much to tell, anyway. All I want to hear is what’s going on with you and William and the rest of the gang. I won’t lie, it’s painful knowing I can’t be by your side to experience them myself, but reading your words helps keep me going while I wait for the day we can be a family again.
What I don’t understand is how some fathers can be so distant when they have the chance to experience all the firsts, the ups and downs, the precious moments that I will miss because of the danger that surrounds us. It gives me a fresh perspective on my own upbringing, and reinforces my determination to be a better man than my father.
I was sorry to read about Old Reliable, and will pour one out for him at the next opportunity. He fueled a lot of late nights reviewing case files and trying not to gaze at you too much. Don't tell HR. It’s not my fault you looked so cute in those big round reading glasses. The new ones are nice, but those old ones… I hope you held onto them, I have some pretty interesting ideas for how we might use them when I get back. You be the librarian, I’ll be the guy you tell to shush.
I have to close now, Dana, but I can’t wait for your reply. All my love to you, to William, to everyone else in our corner.
(Even Skinner, but don’t tell him I said that.)
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Date: 17 Jan 2002
Subject: Re: Not dead yet
Mulder, I swear to God. Are you capable of being serious for even one minute?
Wait, I know the answer to that is no. And that it’s one of the reasons I love you so much, even if you irritate the hell out of me sometimes.
Anyway, I need to start by saying this: you are not your father. The very fact you’re so far away shows me that you would do anything to keep our family safe. I know you’d be here if you could, and only wish it were possible. We’ll make up for lost time when you’re back.
Speaking of which, I do still have those glasses, somewhere… I never knew you liked them so much, but I suppose it makes sense that you’d have a thing for librarians. Don't worry, we're way beyond HR at this point, and I certainly did my fair share of gazing in those days too. ;-)
An update on William: he’s started reacting to his name and lifting his arms up when he wants me to pick him up. He loves peekaboo and always looks so intently to try and find you. I want our son to pick his own path in life, of course, but perhaps we have another investigator on our hands? He’s also recently discovered pasta, thanks to my mom, and can’t get enough. I think he’d eat it for every meal if he could.
In other news, everyone’s doing well, and quietly helping me out in their own ways. Monica introduced me to a friend of hers who runs a baby massage class, which is exactly as fun and adorable as it sounds. John helped out when the washer sprung a leak (sorry, hun, but he’s a better plumber than you). The Gunmen are basically William’s uncles at this point. Even Skinner came round to see how I was doing. It’s an unconventional family, sure, but it’s our family. And soon you’ll be back with us.
Eagerly awaiting our reunion, and sending you all our love,
Dana and William (and Skinner too, I’m sure) xxx
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Date: 3 Feb 2002
Subject: Re: Re: Not dead yet
Dearest Dana,
I’m sorry I can’t write very regularly at the moment. If it were up to me I’d respond instantly but, as you might guess, I have to keep moving and it can be hard to sit down and formulate the kind of responses you deserve. My mind is swimming with so many things. I never truly realized until now how much you anchor me and help me gain some modicum of peace.
Did you have a penpal when you were younger, Dana? You seem like the kind of person who had a penpal. Probably also personalized stationery, sparkly pens, the works. I never did, unless you count writing to Nixon three times to ask him to put my sister in jail for being, and I quote, “a buttmunch”. He didn’t reply to any of my letters, of course, which I’m sure is where my distrust of the government began. Anyway, my point is, your messages are bringing me a great deal of comfort. As I read your words, it’s like you’re here with me. Having said that, I don’t want you to worry about responding immediately. You have your life to live as well, and all I want is for you to be happy.
Of course I don’t have much to share with you by way of updates, except this: dill pickle sunflower seeds are a thing now. Scully: This. Changes. Everything. The regular kind will always be my first love, but this kind? It’s enough to turn a man religious. (Can you tell I spend way too much time in gas stations?)
Time for me to close now, Dana. It’s late here, and I’ve been working on wrestling my sleep schedule into something approaching normality. It’s odd but gives me something to focus on at least. You’d be proud of me, I’m even turning the TV off before I go to sleep these days!
Love you, and miss you more than I can say,
Fox
P.S. I never had you pegged for a “winky face emoticon”-kind of girl. May you never cease to amaze me, Dana Katherine Scully.
P.P.S. I feel the same as Will about your mom’s pasta. When I get back, do you think she would make me her fettuccine alfredo? Behind you, Will, and the fish, it’s the thing I miss most.
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Date: 7 Feb 2002
Subject: Dear Fox
(It still feels a little odd to not call you Mulder, but like you said, I think we’ve earned first names.)
I’m glad I’m giving you a chance to exercise your profiling muscles. You are correct, I had several penpals as a child. It kind of goes with the territory of being a military brat: you move away from your friends, you try to keep in touch without running up a phone bill that drives your parents through the roof. (Not that I cared as a teenager, but that’s another story.) I always wrote back, so I always ended up being the one to wait for a reply that never came. It makes sense to me as an adult – kids lose interest quickly, they’re more likely to focus on the people they see every day than some old friend they’ll likely never see again, but at the time it smarted. Luckily I found my own distractions by the time I got to high school, both academic and… not so academic, so no long-lasting trauma here. I’m very happy to have a new penpal in my life, though I’d much rather have him here in person.
I know you told me not to worry about responding, but I still want to get back to you as quickly as possible. I was hoping it wouldn’t take so long this time, but John went missing a few days ago and we’re all pretty concerned. We know he was last in Texas, so Monica has gone down there to lead the search. There’s not much I can contribute, but she knows I’m here to help. After all they’ve done for me – for us – it’s the least I could do. (Not least the whale song CD Monica bought William/me as what she referred to as a “push present”. He’s teething again and “Joy to the World” just isn’t cutting it these days.)
In William news, right now this favorite thing to do is point at things. It’s a shame it’s not closer to Halloween, I could get him a Napoleon costume. Or my mom could make one – did I tell you she made all our costumes when I was a kid? My favorite was the time I asked to go as Starbuck, since my dad had just started calling me that. I would have been seven or eight, based on where we were living at that point. I swear, removing those fake mutton chops was on par with giving birth, pain-wise. Worth it, though, particularly when my dad saw me and laughed so hard I thought he was going to cry.
Anyway, Will’s still a pasta fiend, something else he shares with his father it seems. Of course, my mom will cook you all the pasta you want when you get back, and then some. Be careful what you wish for.
Well, it’s time for me to head to work now. This situation with John reminds me how dangerous our lives can be, even without the threat of supersoldiers or government conspiracies. If anyone can find him, Monica can – I know you didn’t spend much time together, but I think you’d like her a lot. She’s a lot like Melissa, who incidentally always teased me about having a crush on you. I denied it, of course, so I’m sure she’s smiling down on us now, or more likely saying “told ya so!”.
Thinking of you always,
Dana and William xxx
P.S. Stocking the pantry with dill pickle sunflower seeds ready for your return. Just make sure you eat some actual vegetables in the meantime too, okay?
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Date: 14 Feb 2002
Subject: Be my Valentine?
Dana,
A quick message today, but I just wanted to make sure I asked before anyone else. Especially Frohike.
Yours in anticipation,
Poopyhead
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Date: 15 Feb 2002
Subject: Re: Be my Valentine?
Sure, fine, whatever.
;-)
Love always, Honeybunch xxx