Work Text:
Zhongli remembers the moment he realized he loved Childe.
They had been strolling down the streets, paper lanterns in the air as the lantern rite festivities commenced. The sharp cold of winter had kissed Childe's cheeks pink, and he looked stunning, to say the least. The reflection of the paper lanterns in his eyes made it look like they held the stars themselves. Childe held all the beauty in the universe.
Lantern Rite. A celebration of the new year and new beginnings. What a perfect time to discover his burgeoning feelings. Zhongli had not known what it was at the time, but something kept him chasing after Childe's attention. Whatever it was, it was clear as day that no matter what, he wanted to stay by his side.
This was not able to be the case, however, when Childe left for Snezhnaya not long after. Zhongli was rooted to Liyue. Childe promised him he would be alright. He'd come back soon, and he'd write him so many letters that Zhongli would hardly realize he'd been gone. And when he came back, Zhongli had better be prepared for the number of souvenirs he'd bring from his travels. A whole fleet of cargo ships wouldn't be enough. Childe smiled as he turned to go, but then his expression faltered as he stopped himself.
The sun was setting behind him, casting a golden glow all around the harbor. It illuminated his hair, making him look like a god descended. Gold dappled his cheeks, and Childe looked nothing short of heavenly. How the blue complimented his eyes, which flitted down before retuning to his, before Childe leaned in and wrapped his arms around him. It was tight, as if they had become one. Zhongli never wanted it to stop. But then the ships horn sounded, and Childe pulled away. Zhongli had never felt colder. The emptiness in his arms turned unbearable. The sun went down as Childe walked away, and Liyue Harbor had never looked so dark.
Zhongli had a natural appreciation for life. How could he not? He loved the warmth of the sun on his skin, the beauty of the city he raised with his hands. He had so many things to love. But he could focus on none of that now as he walked back to his apartment alone. There was one thing that he could not have, and that sucked all the happiness out of the things that brought him joy before. It had already been all too long since he had held Childe in his arms.
Childe had lied. He was not back soon. Not nearly soon enough for Zhongli's liking. The absence of his presence was overwhelming. All the letters in the world couldn't replace the sound of his laughter, or the striking blue of his eyes. Zhongli had liked to think himself patient. As a being of over six thousand years of age, one would think he had learned to be. But now, he could hardly sit still. No matter where he was, his head always turned to the direction of the ships, but no matter how many longing gazes he gave, Childe was no closer to home.
The first letter came.
Dear Zhongli xiansheng,
I have been in the warmth of Liyue and your company for so long that I almost forgot how cold it was here! As soon as I stepped off the boat and that icy wind hit my face, I thought of the blazing Liyue sun. I apologize for the delay in the writing of this letter. The Tsaritsa has kept me busy with meeting after meeting. My coworkers are truly insufferable, xiansheng. Not a single friendly face. Maybe it's so cold in Snezhnaya because it's so cold in their hearts, haha! I miss my crew at Northland Bank quite terribly. The palace is beautiful, but so desolate. I'll be seeing my family soon though! That's something to look forward to. I hope all is well with you in Liyue. There isn't nearly as much flora or fauna here as there is in Liyue, but life always finds a way, doesn't it, xiansheng? Here's a flower for you, a fern leaf peony. I haven't seen any of these in Liyue, hope it's something new for you! I hope you are doing well, please do remember to take your mora with you when you go out. Don't miss me too much!
Your wallet,
Childe
Somewhere, in a desolate palace of ice, Childe wishes to be missed, despite saying otherwise.
Somewhere, next to the warmth of a fireplace, a man smelling of silk flowers and sandalwood misses Childe all too much.
Zhongli sighed. How could he not miss Childe? Every fiber of his body ached to be near him. His days were so empty now, he could hardly bring himself to do anything if it meant he'd be doing it alone. It was an endless cycle of getting up, going to work, working all day, going home, showering, going to sleep. He looks towards the ships at the harbor, hoping secretly to spot a head of red hair. His efforts are in vain.
He decides to write a letter back.
Dear Childe,
I am glad to hear that you have arrived safely in Snezhnaya. It is quite unfortunate that your coworkers are so cold. However, I look forward to the new stories you will tell of your siblings' antics when you return to Liyue. Your face always lights up with delight when you speak of them, anyone can tell that you love them very much. Liyue is at peace; though I will say, it is rather uneventful here, without a certain Fatui Harbinger to cause trouble. I hope that all is well with you, too. Do stay safe. Thank you for your lovely flower. You are correct, they do not grow in Liyue. It is quite pretty.
He does not write down that his heart aches when he looks at it as the red reminds him of the scarf Childe wears.
Though this will be nothing new for you, I have enclosed a pressed silk flower bookmark. Though I know that you don't have much of a liking for reading, I hope that the gift will find you well and that you may keep a piece of Liyue with you.
He does not write down how much he wishes he could be that piece of Liyue.
Good luck with your travels. I look forward to hearing from you again.
P. S. I hope you know that I see you as much more than a source of mora, Childe.
Your companion,
Zhongli
Somewhere, in a land of ice and snow, a young Harbinger holds the bookmark close, inhaling the floral aroma. It smells of the one he loves the most. He falls asleep clutching the bookmark and the memories of warmth it brings close to his chest.
Somewhere, in a land of commerce and sunlit mountains, an old god reads a letter over and over again, trying to hear the sender's voice.
Zhongli's gaze wanders around the boats at the harbor once more. This time, there is hope in his eyes.
"Zhongli-xiansheng!"
His voice is like a knife cutting through the haze that Zhongli had been left in without him. His vision is clearer as Childe comes into view, for what use were his eyes without a companion to look to? Childe bounded into his arms, holding him as tightly as the day he left. His hair was a bit longer, but it was the same Childe. The brilliant blaze of his auburn hair sets Zhongli's heart on fire, as the calming blue of his eyes gives him peace. Childe fills his world with color, and Zhongli doesn't think he can bear to see him go again.
There they were again after work. The Opera House had a new show, and he had taken Childe to see it. A classic Liyuean legend: the story of ten suns and the moon.
There were once ten suns in the sky. Normally, they came across the sky one by one, and all was well. But one day, all ten suns decided they didn't want to share their time anymore, and stayed in the sky all at once. As one can probably tell, this was very bad for the people on planet earth. It was always burning hot all the time. Water evaporated immediately. Crops could not flourish. Desperate for relief, the emperor commissioned anyone, anyone, to get rid of some of those suns.
Then stepped in a valiant archer named Hou Yi.
He first tried to reason with the suns, but his efforts were in vain. They were sick of sharing the spotlight, and their greed overcame the need for every living thing on earth.
He pretended to shoot at the suns in hopes that they would get intimidated and flee, but they merely laughed at him.
At long last, he attempted many times to shoot, but his efforts were in vain. The suns were just too high up.
Tired, hot, and on the brink of dehydration, he stumbled along towards one of the last remaining pools of water. After sinking to his knees in utter hopelessness, he sa in it his reflection, and those of the damned suns. In an act of delusion, for no sane person could have such an idea, he pointed his arrows at the reflection of one of the suns, and shot.
He hit his target.
The sun disappeared from the sky.
Whooping with joy at finally finding the answer, he shoots all but one, for the world still needed some light, and all is well.
But who would have thought that something meant to be a reward would bring such pain?
An ancient god, Xiwangmu had descended to the earth to thank him for saving life as we knew it. In exchange for the relief he has brought upon them all, he was offered a great reward, immeasurable in worth: a pill of immortality. With this, Hou Yi would have been nothing less than a god. This and his archery skills combined, surely he would be in possession of great power as well. But Hou Yi did not take it. He kept it away, unused, for the elixir contained only enough for one person, and he did not want to live without his wife, Chang'e. To be without her, would be no different from death itself, and he would have liked much more to be able to join her in the afterlife.
But one day, disaster struck. An apprentice of Hou Yi's had stolen the elixir when Hou Yi had been out hunting. Chang'e managed to wrestle the elixir from him, and downed it herself. She knew that such power in the hands of a thief would do no one any good, and that though she had the elixir in her hands then, it was not a fight she could win for long. Just as Chang'e had swallowed the elixir, Hou Yi returned home. Before his eyes, Chang'e changed. Her skin turned luminescent, glowing soft and pale as she began floating towards the sky. Hou Yi knew that he had been betrayed, believing that Chang'e's greed had led her to leave him. He turned and aimed an arrow at her.
But in the end, he could not bear to shoot, for he loved his wife more than life itself and let himself wallow in anger instead. After some time, Hou Yi grew lonely. He missed his wife, and all he wanted was for her to come back. In an act of desperation, he left out offerings of her favorite foods every night to show that he had forgiven her and beg for her to return. But she was long gone, and the only trace that she had ever been there at all is the pale glow that lights up the night sky, just as she had brought light into Hou Yi's life.
Hou Yi never stopped leaving offerings for her, and eventually the tradition spread across Liyue, and the Moonchase Festival was born.
Zhongli didn't know how to feel. He was, of course, familiar with the legend, but there were so many unfamiliar emotions swirling inside him now. He looked at Childe and the feelings only magnified. Then, they were colored with concern. Childe was crying.
The blue-eyed warrior turned to him, an apologetic smile donning his face.
"Sorry xiansheng, I didn't mean to get so emotional like this. That was really a beautiful story."
Zhongli hummed in agreement. It certainly was. He did think that Childe would enjoy it. It was certainly an excellent performance, and he thought that Childe would find the archer most intriguing. But Zhongli couldn't help but feel seen on a deeper level in the longing Hou Yi had felt while waiting for Chang'e to return, desperate for her to come back. Zhongli's gaze drifted to the harbor and hardened as he saw the boats that had taken Childe away before, and would do so again.
His thoughts are interrupted as Childe speaks.
"The story kind of reminds me of us, you know?"
Zhongli snaps to attention.
"I mean," Childe turns red and looks away sheepishly.
Zhongli's heart rate accelerates, but not the way it did in battle. It's not dread, but excitement. He didn't even know it could do that.
"Well, I thought you betrayed me, but I still came back," Childe laughed.
"Oh?" Zhongli decides to brush past the absolute marathon his heart is running right now and quirks an eyebrow, filling his voice with humor, "Should I presume that it is because you love me more than life itself?"
Childe's reaction is unexpected. His face flushes a deep, deep, crimson. He seems caught off guard.
"Well it certainly wasn't your humility..." he manages to retort after a few moments too long.
They walk through the harbor, quiet. Zhongli is lost in thought, his mind unable to stray from the previous events of this evening. Childe was prideful. But he had been the one to show up at his doorstep first, saying that he couldn't take it anymore and that he missed him more than anything in the world.
He looked at the warrior, who was already looking at him. He seemed to be surprised, but caught himself and flashed a wink and a dazzling smile. Classic Childe behavior.
But he threw away his pride for hi, after a great betrayal. Sure, Zhongli really couldn't have done anything, but he hadn't even explained that before Childe had come back. Just as Hou Yi did. He couldn't help but wonder. Did Childe love him? Zhongli was quite sure that Childe certainly didn't act this way with anyone else, but he didn't exactly have many other people in his life. He had seen him with friends: exchanging blows with the Traveller, sharing work with Ekaterina, but every moment of free time Childe had, he spent by his side.
Zhongli decided that he needed to observe further.
Did Zhongli love Childe?
Well, Zhongli certainly enjoyed his company. He thought of the way he felt when Childe was overseas, how empty the world was without his presence. That had been one of the lowest points in his life, there was no doubt, and that was coming from someone who had spent millenia in war.
There was no doubting it now. Yes, Zhongli loved Childe.
He wondered if he should go about telling him. He looked at Childe. Yes, he would. Most certainly. But the air was oh so humid, and a bead of sweat dripped down his neck. They were both very tired after a long day of adventuring. How did mortals go about doing such a thing anyway? Should he give him flowers? No, a mere bouquet would not suffice. Zhongli would scatter flowers absolutely everywhere, a faux ocean to show the unfathomable depths of his emotions. Childe, in all his glory, deserved nothing less.
Childe interrupts his thoughts once more. Did it count as interruption if his thoughts consisted only of him in the first place?
"Zhongli," he calls and Zhongli in turn hums in acknowledgement.
"Have you ever wanted to give up your immortality?"
An interesting question.
"Certainly."
Childe stayed quiet, as if waiting for Zhongli to go on. Zhongli's heart smiled at that. He knew he would never just leave it at that.
"I have seen many friends of old leave this earth. Others, I have seen their minds succumb to erosion as they forget who they are and all they love. I have been forced to seal them away forever."
There is a sad silence. Childe doesn't know what to say, and Zhongli doesn't expect him to know, so he continues.
"That is certainly a most painful ordeal. But while I have suffered great losses in my long, long, life, I cannot forget that which I have gained. My long life has granted me many friends. I have been able to see my beautiful Liyue flourish, and walk its streets proudly. And while I have had to seal some friends away," his voice gets quieter at this, before his eyes are happier, finding solace in the memories of old friends, "I have saved a great many as well. If I had not been there to prevent it, Osial would have destroyed Liyue long before you raised him, as would Azdaha. And Alatus would not have been with us today."
They have stopped walking, too absorbed in all of Zhongli's memories. He takes Childe's hand in his, the weight of it making him instantly feel better. Childe gives his hand a squeeze, and the six thousand years of hardship are all worth it.
"There have been times I have wished to give up my long life. Times I wish to have been just a regular mortal, worrying about taxes and laundry instead of great wars. But after all that, I do not regret a thing. Just like everyone else, I too will have a dying day. Or perhaps I will not die, but will instead need to be sealed away. No matter if I am left alive or not, I will not be the me you know today. I used to wonder why mortals spent so much energy running about trying to accomplish things if their lives were so short in the grand scheme of things," he pauses to look into Childe's eyes, absorbing all that he is giving now.
"But now I understand. It is the ending that makes it all the more valuable. I am glad to have met everyone I have held dear. I am glad to be able to see the fruits of my efforts. And Childe," he holds his hand a little tighter.
"I am glad that I have had the pleasure of meeting you and showing you around the city I raised."
Childe is utterly speechless, and Zhongli smiles at this. He has the urge to lean forward and kiss away that baffled look on his face, but restrains himself. Not now. It will be a later date, with all those flowers and the confession of his love. He needs the moment to be magical for Childe.
"Now, Childe, if you don't mind me asking. If you were given an elixir of immortality, would you take it?"
"Yes," came his answer without a moment's hesitation.
"Oh?" Zhongli had an amused lilt to his voice as his eyebrows raised.
"Imagine the power I would have, xiansheng!" Childe said dreamily, "The world would bow at my feet! No one would dare brave me in battle, and dare I say, you better watch out, or I'll best you too!"
Zhongli couldn't help but smile at this.
"After all that, such a sure answer? You are not afraid of loved ones left behind?"
Childe's face dims a bit at that, clearly thinking of his siblings. But he shakes it off, mind made.
"No. There's quite a bit of, uncertainty in my line of work. Being immortal would insure that I would be able to stay with them far longer than I would be able to in my current state," he says wistfully.
"I would finally be the big brother they deserve, able to spend as much time as I can with them and bring them anything they want."
Zhongli wraps an arm around Childe.
"Childe, you are already the best big brother I have ever seen. The sacrifices you have made, anyone would be proud to have you by their side."
Childe flushes at this, as he's felt himself do all too many times in Zhongli's presence. He rests his head on Zhongli's shoulder in an act of gratitude.
"Well, even after they would have left," he continues, a sad hush falling over his voice, "it would be very sad, but at least I'd have you, xiansheng. We could be together forever."
And oh, how Zhongli wishes that could be.
Childe is gone again, all too soon. The winds bite at the tips of Zhongli's ears, mocking. Zhongli watches the boat as it drifts from the harbor, taking Childe and his heart with it. This being the second time he had been apart from Childe made it no easier. He had been the one to pull Childe closer this time, pressing him close to his chest as he tried to imprint him in his memory, carve his portrait into his heart. Childe had laughed and promised he'd be back soon enough, but both men knew it would not be enough for either of them.
Zhongli has so many things to say, but there is no one to hear it. How his heart longs for Childe. Every thought he has, every resurfaced memory, every little thing of note that happens in his day, he wishes to tell Childe of it. He finds himself turning to look for him just to see that he isn't there. His heart reaches across the sea in a hopeless whale song, searching for the only one who can bring him comfort.
It is nearing lunchtime as he watches the door sadly. Around this time, Childe would usually come bursting in the door to come get him, or he would make his way to Northland Bank to pick him up so they could eat together. Now, eating seemed like nothing but a chore. The foods he found great pleasure in before now seemed like too much. It was nothing, adepti didn't need to eat, anyway. He only did so before because he liked to, and it let him spend more time with Childe.
He sighs, and hears an echo of it behind him, but the second sigh is more annoyed than melancholy.
"Aiya, you old man! Go on your lunch break. Even if your boyfriend isn't here to pay for your food, you still have to eat!"
"He isn't my boyfriend..." Zhongli replies sadly.
"Really? After all that time you spend scampering around the harbor together, half of Liyue thinks you're married already!"
"I wish," Zhongli retorts grumpily.
"Eh? You're admitting to it? Well, then. What's stopping you?"
"I'm waiting for the perfect time."
"You bumbling buffoon! Anyone can see that that ginger dumbass is head over heels for you!"
"That's not what I meant," Zhongli says with a glare. Hutao seems surprised, but amused.
"Oh?"
"It needs to be special."
"Knowing Childe, he's probably been waiting his whole life for you to finally say something. You could tell him tomorrow and he'd marry you on the spot. I'm quite surprised he hasn't jumped your bones yet, actually. He's probably dying for you to make a move already. Just do it, you're special enough to him."
Zhongli pauses. But then he shakes his head.
"You don't understand. That will not do. It needs to be extra special. That is what Childe deserves."
Hutao sighs in defeat.
"Whatever, do things your way then. But know that you have my blessing. Good luck, old man. Oh! I almost forgot, this came for you in the mail."
Zhongli's head snaps up to be met with an enveloped sealed with the insignia of the 11th Harbinger. He snatches it without a moment's hesitation.
"Calm down! Geez! Alright, I'll leave you to it then," Hutao grumbles, but the wide smile on her face gives her away.
Dear Zhongli Xiansheng,
I hope you are doing well! I have made it safely to Fontaine, and it's nothing short of stunning here. The weather is comparable to Liyue's, which is very pleasant, but I miss you all the same. Have you ever fought underwater, xiansheng? It's quite a marvelous experience! The water in Fontaine is crystal clear and beautiful, and the marine life is a sight to behold! Fighting is a bit frustrating though, since my hydro blades obviously won't work underwater. I have to whittle these crabs little by little until they finally give in. I much prefer the fast-paced battles on land, but I'm sure this will be great for my technique. I wonder how it would be to dive in Liyue, surely you'll accompany me the next time I'm over there? I've enclosed a local present for you. Not as pretty as the starconches of Liyue's beaches, of course, but still beautiful, nonetheless. I found this one on the wall of an underwater ruin, I believe the locals call it a Beryl Conch. I heard that they are linked to ancient civilizations, perhaps you know something about it? I've tried listening to it like we used to do with starconches we found on the beaches in Liyue. What was it you said? That the sound is different for everyone, but it's the sound of home, since the starconches hail from all over the world? Well, I could never hear anything but your voice anyway. Fontaine is beautiful, but I miss the familiarity of Liyue. Do write back soon, and don't give Hutao too much trouble, that's my job!
Your friend,
Childe
Somewhere, in a nation with shells from the stars dotting the beaches, the consultant of a funeral parlour smiles at a letter as his boss heaves a sigh.
Somewhere, in a nation being swallowed by the water, a young man in a foreign land aches for the familiarity of the one he has associated with home.
Dear Childe,
I am glad you are enjoying Fontaine, though a part of me hopes that you have enjoyed Liyue more. Perhaps that is just the griping of an old archon. Diving Liyue is uncommon, for our seas are much more open than the bodies of water in Fontaine. However, if you do wish to do so in Liyue, I know a few places we could try. As for underwater enemies, well, you've seen Osial. I'm afraid I will have to skip out on fighting the squid with you.
Zhongli shudders at the mere thought.
There aren't many underwater enemies of note, so I'm not quite sure how much it'll interest you, though I must admit I have not spent much time underwater in Liyue. After all, the solid ground is much more appealing to me. The Beryl Conch is beautiful, though I am also ashamed to admit that I know little about the ancient civilizations of Fontaine. I thank you for the gift, it's been a while since I've seen one of these. Once again, I apologize for the lack of something you've never seen before, but I hope you will like this gift nonetheless. I have enclosed a bracelet made of starconch shell.
The color reminds me of your eyes, he does not write. I hope you think of me when you look at it, he thinks to himself. He blushes as he recalls the line in Childe's letter about hearing his voice when he listened to the starconch.
Don't enjoy Fontaine so much that you forget to return to Liyue, though.
He almost doesn't write that last line, but there's no harm in a joke, right?
Patiently awaiting your return,
Zhongli
Okay, maybe that last line was a little bit out there, but he really couldn't help it. And what was the harm in encouraging Childe to come back a little sooner?
Somewhere, in a nation that no longer feels like a home, its god braces himself as he slips underwater, narrowly avoiding the tentacles of a squid and squabbling in utter disgust.
Somewhere, in a nation all too far from home, a young harbinger slips a bracelet the color of the sea onto his wrist and falls asleep not long after, a deep voice dipped in honey filling his dreams.
A bright flash of orange leaps off of the ship and flies towards Zhongli. Any ordinary mortal would have fallen over and probably gotten concussed from their head hitting the ground, but a six-thousand-year-old god of war is different. His arms encapture Childe as he twirls him around. He holds him close to his chest, feeling the hole in his heart fill up. He could kiss him right now. He doesn't, however, because he has not asked if it would be welcome. And Childe has only just returned, it would be too soon.
Childe insists on taking him to his place to sample the champagne he's just brought over from Fontaine, claiming that 'you haven't tasted real champagne until you've tasted the stuff from northern Fontaine,' and who is Zhongli to refuse? Childe's happiness at finally being the one to show something new to Zhongli is nothing but endearing, he thinks as he's dragged helplessly through the streets of Liyue. There he sits, happily chugging down cup after cup. Zhongli cannot help but be a little bit concerned at the rapid pace and the speed he's downing it, but Childe reassures him that firewater is part of his blood (obviously, with the amount he drinks) and that he knows what he is doing. Zhongli is none the wiser, and allows Childe to continue. He's got a great hangover soup recipe, and if it can work on Barbatos's divine headaches, it'll work on Childe.
Zhongli sips his champagne slowly, content on watching Childe for now. Though it takes a great amount, gods can get drunk. That much can be proven again by Barbatos, drinking his nights (and days) away to keep his lost friends off his mind. Zhongli would much rather remember every moment he has with Childe. The young warrior has stopped drinking now, and is rambling about how floppy and cute the stingrays in Fontaine are. Then he bursts into tears, still wailing about stingrays. Zhongli doesn't know what to make of this. He rubs Childe's back in an attempt to soothe, and is taken by surprise when Childe lunges at him.
And then he's in his lap, arms around Zhongli's neck as he tucks his face into the crook of his shoulder. Zhongli shudders as his fingers tangle in his hair. Childe calmly stops crying with his face still pressed into Zhongli. Zhongli reaches up, hesitant, but keeps tracing soothing circles around Childe's back. But then Childe pulls away, eyeing Zhongli in a way that makes him squirm. He's still unsure of just what to do, and decides to wait and see what happens. And then Childe lunges forward again, and before Zhongli knows it, chomps down on Zhongli's neck. Zhongli gasps, more surprised than anything, but a little bite is nothing compared to the centuries of wars he's fought. The spot starts to discolor, and Childe's eyes widen as he sees it. Zhongli really, really, hopes he doesn't do it again. He doesn't really mind, but he had just managed to hold himself back from summoning a shield on instinct and sending Childe flying into the wall as a result.
What happens next is even worse. Childe starts crying again, looking at the bite mark he's left on Zhongli before leaning down and pressing kisses to it, sobbing about how sorry he is for hurting him. Zhongli is rendered immobile. He doesn't dare move, for he's not sure how much longer he can keep himself under control. This is everything he wanted, but it's wrong. Childe isn't in his right mind. He'll wake up the next morning, and probably won't even remember what happened. Or maybe he will, and he'll see the mark on Zhongli's neck as proof, and flush a bright, lovely red, but for all the wrong reasons.
Childe is still kissing him, and Zhongli tries to push him away gently but Childe only whines and swats his hand away before resuming his activities. Zhongli sighs. He wishes so hard that he could reciprocate, but it would not be right. Just as he was about to give in, Childe stops, and Zhongli feels him slump against his shoulder once more, soft snores coming from him not long after.
Zhongli rarely needs to sleep. He does so only after he's used a great amount of power and needs to recharge, or after long periods of not doing so. Now is not one of those times, and he listens to Childe snore. It is calming. At some point in the night, Childe's face crumples and he holds onto tighter to Zhongli. Zhongli brings his arms around him and squeezes to let him know he is there. Childe relaxes, face falling peaceful again.
Zhongli wonders how often Childe's dreams are plagued with nightmares, and wishes he could chase away every one of them. He would fight off anything that dares to touch him. Gods are given the power to visit dreams, but as curious as he is, he refrains. To enter would be a violation of Childe's privacy.
Childe is back in the abyss. A child stands before him, at the entrance of a cave. He looks almost like Teucer, but his eyes are deeper, an eerie indigo and his face sharper. Childe takes a step forward. He walks towards the kid, drawn forward as if in a trance. As he nears, it reaches for him. It changes. The teeth are sharpen, nails turn into claws, and its eyes go wild. It grows taller, towering over Childe, who finds himself weaponless. He cowers and braces for the worst. Unlike him, but he can't find it in himself to do anything different. But instead of certain death, he finds himself in the warmth of an embrace. Strong arms wrap around his waist as his head settles on sturdy shoulders. He'd recognize Zhongli's touch anywhere. He is safe now, and nothing can hurt him. His dreams change. The abyss is gone, replaced with the warm lights of Liyue. Zhongli is there, arm around his waist as they stroll around the harbor. It's a good dream.
Childe wakes up alone on his couch. Zhongli had gotten up in the early morning to prepare soup for him, and brought it just in time. Childe's head throbbed horribly, but it cleared after the first swallow of the soup, and warmed his soul as he finished the rest.
Simple, but made with love.
Something seems off about Zhongli. His movements lack the usual air of confidence he has. His eyes look unsure. He looks almost as he did when Childe had showed up on his doorstep after the Rite of Parting. Childe doesn't know what to make of that. Did something happen last night? Well, he certainly didn't remember anything besides being comfortable. It couldn't be that bad. Zhongli wouldn't let anything bad happen to him.
They go diving as promised. Zhongli squabbles as a squid approaches him, but Childe punching the offending creature away. He is quite proud of the thankful look on Zhongli's face. Childe collects plenty of shells to send home to his family, but stashes the prettiest one away from the rest. Childe can't get enough of the water, and the day is over before they know it.
Childe's visit this time is a short one, for there are no missions for him to complete. He has simply made a detour on his way back to Snezhnaya to see Zhongli. Zhongli is disappointed to see him go so soon, and Childe reluctant to leave.
When Zhongli arrives home after seeing Childe off. He takes off his many coats and gives a poke to the bruise at his shoulder, but the memories of the wound are not painful.
Zhongli Xiansheng,
I have been stationed in Inazuma this time. I was trying to go for a leisurely swim, but the water was charged with electro! Looks like there's no diving for me here. The food is great, though. Inazuma uses chopsticks as well, but theirs are much shorter. I think that they're even harder to handle. I've made a friend: a Mondstatian named Thoma. I think you'd like him. He uses chopsticks flawlessly, and I've asked him what the big secret is. He says that all you have to do is practice, but I just don't get it! How long has it been since I've started trying to eat with these impossible things?
The enemies here are different, tougher. The samurai are a nice fight, I got hit by one the other day and boy oh boy did it hurt. And the specters make for great archery practice! My first one caught me by surprise when it exploded after I depleted it of its health, talk about going out with a bang! That aside, there's a great bookstore here that I think you'd like. It's called Yae Publishing House. They mostly sell light novels, and they're quite delightful. I've sent one for you that I think you'd like. Do tell me what you think about it! It's called A Legend of Sword. I found it to be most interesting. I'll be back soon! Enjoy the book!
Childe
Somewhere in a land of lightning and light novels, a young man stirs at his noodles absentmindedly. He tries to feed himself with the chopsticks, but fumbles miserably with no one by his side to correct him.
Somewhere where the chopsticks are longer, a scholarly god thumbs through a book. He's read the story before, it was actually written in Liyue, but the person that gave it to him left a myriad of charming little notes, and he can't help but smile as he reads them.
Dear Childe,
Your careless activities in Inazuma trouble me greatly. Please be more careful. I enjoyed the book you sent me quite a lot. It was actually written locally, by a young man named Xingqiu. He's an intelligent young fellow, and an accomplished swordsman and hydro user as well. I think you two would get along. Although I have indeed read the book before, your comments were most charming. Perhaps we should continue to indulge in the exchanging of notes on such books, I would certainly find that most agreeable. I hope that besides your troubles with the utensils, you are eating well in Inazuma. I have sent you your own pair of chopsticks, hopefully it will make it easier. Enjoy your stay in Inazuma, it is truly a beautiful country and I'm sure you'll keep yourself busy enough, but know that there is always a place for you in Liyue.
As there is a place in my heart, Zhongli thinks but doesn't write.
Zhongli, he finally signs.
Somewhere, in a land of clear skies open commerce, a funeral consultant sighs and pushes away his work, picking up a book he's already read as he looks through it again and again, but it's not the characters within he's thinking of.
Somewhere, in a land of thunderstorms and sakura trees, a Fatui Harbinger refuses to eat with anything other than a pair of dragon and phoenix chopstics, declining any offers of forks from restaurant owners who cannot bear to look at his pitiful attempts to wield them any longer.
Zhongli waits and waits. Before, Childe would stay true to his word and return in a fairly short amount of time. What if he had made sense of his gift, the meaning he'd thought subtle when giving them, and this was his form of rejection? Zhongli tried to quell his insecurities, but his efforts were in vain. What if Childe had not rejected him, but instead something horrible had happened to him? Had he finally been bested by a Samurai? Blown up into smithereens by a specter?
Then Hutao handed him an envelope with Childe's seal, and Zhongli heaved a sigh of relief. Childe was alive. Anxiety bubbled up nonetheless as Zhongli opened the envelope, fearing rejection.
Dear Zhongli xiansheng,
Sorry for not visiting for so long. Duty called, and I had to report back to Snezhnaya. I'm not sure when I'll be back, but I promise I'll return as soon as I can. Don't worry about me too much, I can take care of myself just fine! Thank you for the chopsticks, they are beautiful. I swear, the food tasted better when I was eating with them, haha! I'm in the palace again. Although I've always thought Snezhnaya to be my home, the palace is incredibly lonely. It's better with my siblings, seeing them always lifts my spirits. I'm not sure if I'll be able to see them this time, it's really quite busy over here. But hey, the sooner I'm off and finish my business, the sooner I get to see you again, right? I'll try not to keep you waiting too long. With everything, I was scared I wouldn't be able to send you a present with this letter, but I managed to snag a little something! It's a sakura bloom. They're said to have been scattered all around Inazuma from the Sacred Sakura at the Grand Narukami Shrine, pretty cool, huh? The story behind that's a real tearjerker. Man, this letter's quite somber, isn't it? Sorry about that. I'll try to return soon.
Very, very, cold,
Childe
Somewhere, in a cold and lonely palace, the Tsarista's Vanguard nurses his arm. He had been abusing his Delusion far too much in days of late, fighting enemies each stronger than the last. He had just managed to push the limits a bit more to use electro to get that sakura bloom for Zhongli. It had hurt, but it was worth it, for him.
Somewhere, in a land once thought to be all he needed, its lord holds the Sakura bloom delicately in his hands. He can feel the unnatural electro energy radiating off of it. He knows it is from Childe's delusion, and cannot help but worry despite being told otherwise.
Childe's letter this time had indeed felt sadder than before. Zhongli was worried. Was something happening? Was Childe going to be alright?
Dear Childe,
I thank you for the lovely gift. The story behind the Sacred Sakura is indeed very sad. I can sense that you used your delusion to harvest it for me. Please do take care of yourself. Know that your health means more to me than any material possession. Though your workload may be heavy, I hope that you are resting well. I'm sorry to hear that you have not been able to see your siblings. Don't worry so much about me and take some time to see them as well. I present to you this time: a glaze lily. You may notice that it looks a little different from the ones grown in Liyue Harbor, which is because I picked this one from the wild. This particular strain of glaze lilies went nearly extinct with the death of Guizhong, the goddess of dust. The ones you see now in the harbor have grown to be significantly different from the original, and would not survive in the wild. There are not many of the original glaze lilies left. However, I have preserved this one with crystallize so that it may stay as it was forever. I wish for you to have it. Again, take care of yourself, Childe. I hope to see you soon.
Missing you,
Zhongli
Somewhere, on a ship in the middle of nowhere, a recovering fighter holds the crystal flower close to him. It makes him feel better. The colors match the bracelet he wears on his wrist that keeps his dreams pleasant, warm, and golden.
Somewhere, in a land rich with history, a man who has seen it all looks upon his shelf, stocked full of cherished gifts. He wonders when he will next see the one he holds dearest.
A couple more months pass. Liyue Harbor is still suffering from a drought of ginger mischief. Zhongli thinks his heart might just be malnourished. He's one step away from showing up at the Tsaritsa's throne and demanding Childe come back and waging war shall her answer be unsatisfactory. A long-awaited letter arrives for him, and that practiced patience Zhongli has kept in opening the envelopes carefully to keep them as intact as possible has disappeared as he absolutely demolishes the envelope.
Dear Zhongli xiansheng,
Sorry to keep you waiting like this. I'm in Sumeru now. Everything hurts here. The hot desert sands, the bugs biting me, the sun burning my skin. Liyue is much more pleasant. I like the warmth, but it's a little too warm here. It's like everything is trying to fight me. And I know, I know, it seems out of character for me to be complaining about that. I guess I'm just too used to the cold now. The desert is so big here, it's insane. I wonder what stories it holds. I like that about Liyue. How everything has a story, the mountains, the oceans, the plains. And I have an excellent storyteller! I haven't heard a good story in a while. Reading myself just isn't the same. I've been having trouble doing so lately, I'll read and realize I didn't get any of it. I hope you're doing a lot better in Liyue. Here's a kalpalata lotus. I found it while I was exploring the Sumeru rainforest. The animals here are something else. In Liyue they're all peaceful, but in Sumeru they're big and powerful and beautiful. It was unbearably hot that day, so I jumped into a pond I found and saw the flowers. I got unbelievably excited when I saw the blue and the shape of it. I almost thought it was a glaze lily! That was rather stupid of me, but oh well. I miss Liyue. I can't wait to get back.
Wishing I were there,
Childe
Somewhere, in the arid desert, a tired warrior reads letters from his beloved over and over again.
Somewhere, a lonely god sighs as he looks to the mountains of his homeland, turning to tell a story to someone who isn't there.
It's been a year since he's realized his feelings. The air has turned cold again, and the harbor is bustling with excitement. Lanterns are strung up, and cheerful children run about with sparklers in their hands. A joyous celebration for all in Liyue, but Zhongli can't help but feel gloomy. It was nice to see his people happy and celebrating, but it would be nicer with Childe.
He takes a stroll around the harbor. He has work off, Lantern Rite is a big deal. It's a shame he doesn't have anyone to spend all this newfound free time with.
Night falls, and the sky fills with lanterns. Zhongli has never wished upon his own lantern before. Typically, he was the one being prayed to. But he was no longer an archon, and he'd take anything. Many people used the xiao lanterns to wish for soldiers they loved to come home, and Zhongli would take anything that'd bring Childe back. In an act of desperation, he set loose lantern after lantern, hoping sheer will would be enough to bring Childe home.
And then a letter comes. The handwriting is sloppier than usual, as if the writer were very excited.
Zhongli xiansheng,
Guess who finally finished their missions? I'm just about done here in Sumeru. There's just one last domain here for me to clear, and I'll be on my merry way! I'm sure it won't take too long. After that, I'll have plenty of free time. Man, I can taste Xiangling's dumplings already! It's about time for Lantern Rite now, isn't it? I'm sorry I couldn't spend it with you this year. I know how much that festival means to Liyue. I had such a great time last year. We've known each other for quite some time, haven't we? You know I'm not one to get all sappy, but thanks for sticking with me for so long. You're a real one, Zhongli. No gift this time, sorry! I'll buy you all the trinkets you want when I get back to make up for it. Anyway, the sooner I get this domain over with, the sooner I get to see you! I'll be back soon, xiansheng! Don't stay up waiting for me!
Childe
Somewhere, in Liyue Harbor, a god who's been alone far too long rejoices and makes preparations to confess his love.
Somewhere, in a harsh land full of sandstorms and venomous plants, a valiant fighter walks into a domain, eager to be heading home.
Zhongli can barely sleep. He'd answered Childe's letter. It was nothing much, his life was peaceful and far less eventful than Childe's after he'd retired, but he extended his well wishes, told Childe to take care of himself, and to have a safe journey back to Liyue.
He spends practically all his free time at the docks watching the ships come and go. Hutao looks at him with pity. Xiangling accidentally sets two sets of chopsticks for him instead of one, and it makes him want to die. He doesn't even have the heart to go shopping much anymore. The shopkeepers have noticed his sorry state, and don't beckon him over to look at his wares as enthusiastically. When he does find something that catches his interest only to pat his pockets sadly and turn his head only to find his redhead nowhere to be found, the shopkeepers sigh and give him a generous discount.
Now he is hanging onto the hope that he’s seeing Childe soon. Rejuvenated, there is a spring in his step and the whole harbor sighs in relief to see that he is happier. Zhongli is well loved by his people, and although Liyue isn’t particularly fond of the Harbinger, they value his happiness. Hutao asks if he’s finally gotten married, and Zhongli responds with a mysterious glint in his eye.
But as the days go by with no sign of Childe, Zhongli’s happiness starts to fade and the world turns bleak once more. He starts to get worried; Childe is not one to go back on his word. What if Childe got sick of him? What if he was bored of him and hated his guts and wanted him to die? Or the Tsaritsa discovered his feelings for her vanguard (for as cold as her heart is, she is the goddess of love, after all) and banned him from ever speaking to Zhongli again? Or worse, had convicted of Childe for treason and killed him?
That thought made Zhongli’s blood run cold. Had Childe died? No, he couldn’t have. Childe wasn’t one to go down so easily. But Childe was reckless. He might’ve used his delusion too much; Zhongli had heard cases of that happening in Inazuma. Or he used his Foul Legacy and the abyss took over. No, no, no. There was no use fretting now. He wouldn’t believe it. Because there was nothing to believe. Childe wasn’t dead. He couldn’t be dead. He’d promised to come back.
Hutao looks at him with an expression he’s never seen before in her eyes. She is unsettled. Hutao is never unsettled. Then she holds out an envelope the color of freshly fallen snow. It glitters in the light of Zhongli’s lamp. Zhongli takes it and turns it around to open it. A red smear forms on it. Zhongli has cut himself on the corner of the paper. He sighs. When he looks at the seal, his heart stops. It was always red before, with the shape of Childe’s signature Fatui mask embossed on it. Now it is blue like the color a person’s lips turn when they are too cold. There’s a white snowflake in the center, like the one found on cryo visions. Because it is a cryo sigil. Only gods sealed their letters with sigils.
Trying to gather all the strength left after the loss of his gnosis, Zhongli opens the letter with trembling hands.
Zhongli does not cry. Stone doesn’t weep. But stone doesn’t laugh either. Stone doesn’t eat, or breathe, or look at someone and think of how beautiful and wonderful he is, or how grateful they are to be in his presence.
Zhongli reads the letter, and his life loses all its meaning.
My old friend Zhongli,
I regret to inform you that Tartaglia, No. 11 of the Fatui Harbingers, is no longer with us. He has left this world fighting most valiantly for my cause. I know the two of you were rather close, and I extend to you my condolences. He was a great warrior. His body has been returned to his family. You are invited to come pay your respects whenever you please. We found some letters addressed to you near his person when we found him. I think that he would want you to have them. I am sorry that you had to find out this way.
Signed,
The Tsaritsa
Everything about this was wrong. Childe should not have died. He was too young.
He was supposed to go back to visit his siblings in Snezhnaya and play with them in the snow, telling stories about his travels.
He was supposed to fight infinitely more thrilling battles and bask in the glory when he won.
He was supposed to go diving again, collecting seashells to give to people he loved.
He was supposed to come back to Liyue, to Zhongli, like he said he would. Jump into his arms again, flash a proud smile as he finally picked up a Jade Parcel with his chopsticks.
But none of those things could happen. Childe was gone.
It wasn’t until a circle appeared on the paper that Zhongli realized he was crying. He was so, so angry. This shouldn’t have happened to Childe. Childe had so much more to do, to see. And he wasn’t coming back.
This couldn’t be real. This wasn’t real.
Zhongli opened the box that accompanied his letter, half hoping that Childe would spring out of the box, screaming “surprise!” as he lept into his arms. But the box was much too small and much too light.
He opened it to find his uniform, folded neatly and all too clean, with a dull vision lying on top of it.
It was lifeless. No ambition left in it. Useless, a shell of what it used to be.
This was cruel. Zhongli didn’t know how else to feel. Everything wrong was happening.
He thought back to the Tsaritsa’s words, and a bitter taste filled his mouth. “He was a great warrior.” Is that all she had to say about him? Is that all he was to her?
He was so much more than that.
Childe was a loving big brother. He frequented the market often, thanks to Zhongli, but never bought anything for himself. It was either for one of his three siblings, or for Zhongli. He often beat himself up over not being there for them. The guilt showed. Zhongli would tell him he’s doing the best he can, and he’d sigh but give a weak smile.
Harbingers weren’t known for being kind, but Childe was. Sometimes, in dark nights, he curled up against Zhongli and told him of the horrible things he’d seen the other Harbingers doing to their subordinates, swearing he’d never be so cruel. He respected those that worked for him, often offering bonuses from his own pocket to boost morale while others would kill their own subordinates in front of the rest to keep them on their toes.
Childe was the epitome of splendor. With every movement he made, every breath he took, every blink of his eyes, dignity and a certain kind of grace flowed through it. When Liyue’s sun shined down on him, he glowed. The whole world would compete for his attention, basking in his light and shining it back at him tenfold in his presence to impress him; it preened in his affection as he smiled upon it. He made life itself more beautiful.
Underneath his uniform and his vision were a few scraps of paper with messages to him. Was Zhongli ready to read them? He wasn’t sure, but he unfolded them anyway.
Dear Zhongli,
This domain sure is something else! I won’t be able to send this letter until I get outta here, but I wanted to write to you while the memories were fresh. There’s so many monsters down here, it’s great! It’s dark, underground, and a little smelly, but I can hardly mind. At least the sun isn’t burning my skin anymore. I’m sorry to say that it might take a little longer than I thought. Sorry to keep you waiting. I feel like that’s all I’ve been saying in my letters lately. I’ll be sure to get back to you as soon as I can though!
Childe
Little had Childe known, as soon as he could would be never.
Zhongli,
Got in a bit of a tussle today. I know you said to take care of myself, but I just can’t wait to get outta here. There’s no time to rest. I got cut pretty badly today, but it’s nothing new. I’ll be just fine. Heh, I’m probably not going to send this. No reason to get you all worried, right? Would you be worried? Whatever. What am I doing?
Childe
Zhongli,
I’m getting sick of the dark. It reminds me of the abyss. And the smell too, I don’t think I’ll ever get it off of me. It really sucks down here. I don’t like this domain anymore.
Childe
Zhongli,
This domain is horrible and I miss the sun. It’s lonely and dark here and the monsters aren’t very good company.
Childe
Not all of the papers were letters, some of them were just notes, Childe writing down his feelings to try to pass the time. But even though they weren’t addressed to him, those thoughts were full of Zhongli as well.
I miss looking at faces that don’t belong to something trying to kill me and I miss Zhongli and I miss his voice telling me it’ll be alright and the way he looks at me and the warmth of Liyue and feeling like I belong somewhere.
Zhongli,
I miss you really, really, badly. I wish I were wherever you are right now. I keep writing these letters to you that I know you’ll probably never read, but you’re the only one I could ever really talk to. I miss you.
Childe
The next paper was just a page full of Zhongli’s name. Some of the ink had been smudged by some liquid. Only after looking back at the Tsaritsa’s letter did Zhongli realize they were tears.
Zhongli Zhongli Zhongli Zhongli Zhongli Zhongli Zhongli Zhongli Zhongli Zhongli Zhongli Zhongli Zhongli Zhongli Zhongli Zhongli Zhongli Zhongli Zhongli Zhongli Zhongli Zhongli Zhongli Zhongli Zhongli Zhongli Zhongli Zhongli Zhongli Zhongli Zhongli Zhongli Zhongli Zhongli Zhongli Zhongli Zhongli Zhongli Zhongli Zhongli Zhongli Zhongli Zhongli Zhongli Zhongli Zhongli Zhongli Zhongli Zhongli Zhongli Zhongli Zhongli Zhongli Zhongli Zhongli Zhongli Zhongli Zhongli Zhongli Zhongli Zhongli Zhongli Zhongli Zhongli
My dearest Zhongli,
I can feel myself dying. I got bit by something strange yesterday. I didn’t think much of it at the time, but then it turned green. My head hurts. I don’t know if I’m going to make it out of here. I’m sorry, Zhongli. I know I promised I’d go back to Liyue and see you again. I don’t know if that’s going to happen anymore. I’m sorry.
Childe
Zhongli’s eyes lingered on this one. He had called him his dearest. In his letters before, he had been called “dear Zhongli xiansheng” at best. He sighed.
Zhongli,
I’m so mad. I’m really going to die here. I’ve been on death’s doorstep before, but this is different. I can feel it in my bones. My men aren’t doing so well. The doctor we brought has never seen a bite like this. I’m so mad right now. I want to go home. I want to see you again, Zhongli.
Childe
My dearest Zhongli,
I’m as good as dead. I can barely hold my pen anymore, but there’s some things I need to tell you. You’re beautiful, Zhongli. Everything about you is fucking beautiful. I wish I had your way with words so I could praise you accurately, but I don’t so you’ll have to just bear with my best. I’m so glad I met you. You make me feel like I could be just a normal person, and I love that. I love you. I love you more than I’ve ever loved anything in my entire life, more than the thrill of battle. You give me something to look forward to, and I love that. And when you look at me, holy shit. I fucking love it when you look at me. You make me feel like nothing else matters. I better get the hell outta here. I’m never leaving your side again, not after this. If you’d have me, of course. I want to go home, Zhongli. I hate it here. No. I’m not thinking about that. I’m thinking about you and your beautiful face and your beautiful voice. I love your stories. I keep on asking for them ‘cause I love hearing your voice. Gods, I love everything about you. This is probably getting repetitive, my bad. But yea. I adore you. You’re so precious to me. I love you. We’re married now, sorry you had to find out this way, ha. I miss you. Man, my heart physically hurts right now. It’s like that feeling you get in your mouth when you eat something really sour, but in my heart instead. Look what you’ve done to me xiansheng. Aw, my hand is starting to cramp, and my men are looking at me weird. I guess it’s time to stop before I embarrass myself any more. I hope this doesn’t change the way you think of me. I love you.
Love,
Ajax
(that’s my real name. I’ve always wanted to hear you call me that. I should’ve told you it sooner. I miss you really bad. Okay, bye for real now.)
Zhongli is crying so hard that he can’t read anymore, not that there’s anything left to read. There would be no more letters from Ajax. No more tinkling laughter, no more wandering the harbor and losing track of time.
There’s nothing Zhongli can do. He is crying a gentle storm, not a sound escaping his lips. He can feel his heart breaking, but instead of the sour feeling Ajax described, it’s just empty. It’s fitting. The one that filled his heart is gone now, so it’s empty.
He shouldn’t have waited so long. This was so stupid. He should’ve told him he loved him as soon as he realized it instead of wasting so much damn time. He should’ve told him just how beautiful he was, and showered him with gifts instead of making him pay for everything, and he should’ve kissed him stupid.
Man, he was stupid, stupid, stupid. He hated himself for it. Why couldn’t Zhongli had just told him? All this waiting to give him what he deserved, for it to end like this?
Ajax never deserved this. He didn’t deserve to die in a dark, smelly domain full of monsters far, far, way too far from everyone he loved. He didn’t deserve to die at all, not so young. He deserved to spend each day happy under the sun. He deserved to come back home every night to people he loved. Fuck it, Childe said he loved him, so he deserved to come back to Zhongli. He deserved to marry him, and Zhongli would make sure he got the life he deserved, with all the love in the world so long as that’s what he wanted. And at the end of it all, after the a long life of battles and adventures and pure bliss, Ajax deserved to go in a warm bed surrounded by people he loved. And nothing less than that.
Zhongli was furious, he was so incredibly upset, and nothing was alright. He never knew he could feel this much. Nothing would ever be alright again, not with Ajax gone. Endless regrets ran through his mind.
He should’ve, should’ve, should’ve.
The things he’d do to see his smile one last time, to put his hand in his hair, to kiss him stupid and tell him he was loved. There wasn’t a thing on earth he wouldn’t do. He’d swim over to Snezhnaya and fight the Tsaritsa and all the fatui at once to get his gnosis and be able to give him whatever he wanted.
But Ajax was gone, gone, gone, away. He was not coming back. Ever.
Zhongli did not regret things. But he did now. And what a horrible feeling that was.
Looks like even in death, there were things to learn from Ajax.