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Dear Than,
Welp.
When you get this I've already been sent through the dimensional transport and ended up in Naraka, India. I hope GarudaMail works and gets this to you back in Hades, Greece.
Are you sure you told Dad that even though I'm *technically* two years old, I'm *actually* more like 12 because of weird god stuff during bio-dad's legpreg -- I'm pretty sure Dad knows about lots of weird god stuff. That's more than old enough to face down scary old grandpa!
But Mom and Dad sure are sneaky... guess we set up that hiding place for me in your cottage for nothing. I'm not mad though, King Yama and Queen Kalaratri were already at the landing to take me home to their place. My room here is pretty sweet, and did you know that their friend Ganesha has a ridiculous sweet tooth? There's so many different sweets and cakes and things here! It's a good thing Mom gave me some gift baklava, loukoumi, and pasteli to give to everyone.
Naraka's a pretty good Underworld. The surface is pretty interesting, too! I'm supposed to meet another kid named Krishna soon. I hope they're fun and don't mind that I don't know what kids do here. But there's always a sun and an earth and rivers and so on, so it can't be too different up there.
Here, the sun is Surya! He... seems a little off-putting, not gonna lie. But he's Yama's dad and never ate him even a little bit, so I guess this pantheon is currently one up on us on the family functionality scale. I did say this, but Kalaratri just smiled at me (her smile is like Mom's smile! but sharp teeth instead of thorns) and said to wait for it.
Also, I really want to see Hecate and Chitragupta have an ass-kicking contest one day. They don't cover anywhere near the same spheres -- Mr. "I know all the bad things you've done, Dionysus" is all about justice and order and *filing* -- but they're both badass and without them both Underworlds would just fall apart.
Write you more later!
Your brother in sweets-filled exile,
Dio
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Dear Than,
So uh. I guess you're saying Dad kind of ate Kronos, then. Kind of. With lots of help from Mom. Mostly with help from Mom.
Yeah, neither of them included that little detail in their letters.
I mean, it's not the wildest thing that can happen, but it's weird to think of our mild vanilla-loving Dad doing something like that. I know it's more of a Hecate plot causing grandpa's possession to backfire, but... I don't like thinking about everything Dad spent to keep Kronos contained.
I hope Heph can give Dad something to help with walking. I can totally ask Vishvakarma for help, too? Also I think Heph and Tvastar (don't call him Vish, that's really confusing over here) would get along!
(Tvastar came by while I was writing! He says he could possibly do something with anti-gravity. That sounds so cool! Please tell Dad!)
Yama also has a cane by the way when he isn't in full god form, so I think Dad's gonna be okay. He did survive an awful lot.
I hope Melinoë is resting nicely in Elysium. Maybe she'll be awake when I get back?
Speaking of which -- Mom and Dad think it's still not safe for me at home. So please, please make really sure they *both* know I am 12 going on 13 soon, and I don't care that bio-dad threatened to take one of us away. We can take on Zeus. I keep telling them, but I think they would take it better from you, big brother.
Kids of rotten bio-dads in solidarity,
Dio
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Dear Than,
Please tell Mom and Dad that it wasn't me and Krishna who stole all the butter in that mortal town, no matter what Chitragupta or Kalaratri or Yama say.
We were honestly just watching the town goats! Not one goat went missing, so that proves we were watching them the whole time and not stealing butter.
If I can't have kulfi for a month what even is life??
Please tell at least Dad to plead my case with Yama. I think you're more convincing than me, for some reason.
A suffering victim of slander,
Dio
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Dear Than,
Is everyone okay?
None of my recent letters are getting through to any of you, and the portal to Hades was shut down for some reason.
I'm going to keep trying.
Yama and Kalaratri say there isn't much anyone can do about what's happening in another pantheon's dimension.
I guess this is why Mom and Dad sent me away, huh. I guess Zeus really did do something.
Please be okay.
I'll keep writing.
Dio
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Dear Than,
I AM SO GLAD YOU'RE ALL OKAY NOW. My hand is falling off writing everyone a letter tonight (I wish GarduaNet and GaiaNet could connect, but grrr, dimensional bullshit, guess I'll have to love the taste of stamps).
I hope Melinoë doesn't mind a letter from a brother she's never known. I hope this isn't too weird. Even if god stuff is really weird.
Speaking of which, that stuff about how Gaia combined and mixed the genetics of Kronos so that Dad, Uncle Posey, and Zeus all had different grandfathers... I mean, that's kind of normal compared to how the pantheon works over here. Please don't ask me to explain. Let's just say what you described is pretty tame compared to how existence was manifested and all the gods were created in *this* dimension.
I don't know how I feel about your bio-dad being my great-grandfather. I don't like it. Has Erebos ever not fucked someone over when they were making a contract? I don't care if the other person can't know what the price is, I don't think you have to be cruel about what they actually pay.
Gods, there's so much family drama everywhere. Guess when Dad says we're not that different from mortals, he also means *this* buffalo shit.
I do really want to meet Prometheus, though. Because I have something I need to tell him. I think. Actually I'm gonna ask Mom and Dad if I should say anything.... cause while I know that Kronos didn't let Dad hear anything unless he wanted Dad to hear it, Zeus didn't... do that.
Come to think of it, maybe Aunt Hera should be told some things. And Aunt Demeter and Aunt Hestia.
Also, is Zeus allowed to have visitors?
Cause I want to visit him.
I just want to talk.
Just that.
Talk.
Okay I got like a million more letters to write!
Love,
Dio