Work Text:
Jake
His inner critic was very loud that morning. It was desperately trying to save him from making mistakes, but all it gave him was anxiety, doubt, and misplaced shame. The man looking back at him in the mirror was not the one he was accustomed to.
Gaunt, grey and terrified was how he used to look.
A specter in human skin who lived in the shadows.
Now, a glaze to his eyes spoke of a kinder life and peace, but the harsh line of his tensed jaw and the frown between his brows gave away his fear. He could hear her padding around the kitchen as he finished brushing his teeth and rinsed his mouth, ensuring his hair wasn’t too unkempt before he left the sanctuary of the bathroom to gather his things.
Today was no ordinary day.
He was starting his new job, the first in five years and one he was semi-confident he would excel at, but his social battery worried him. Would it hold enough charge for an eight-hour workday? He wasn’t entirely sure.
She insisted he spend the night so she could see him off on his first day, and she woke him with his preferred black coffee and two slices of buttered toast. His stomach was a nest of snakes, and she seemed to know he couldn’t handle anything else. It had settled him somewhat, and her tender, loving touches and smiles helped more.
Still, there was a definite tremble in his hands as he packed the forms he had filled in with his shiny new bank details and hunted for his favorite pen, which he found tucked behind her ear as she entered the bedroom to see how he was getting on. She gave it to him with a sheepish smile, and he chuckled at the pink flush on her cheeks.
“You look like a professional.” She teased, eyeing his freshly pressed shirt and black trousers.
“I don’t think they’d appreciate me turning up in a hoodie and jeans,” He said.
“Hmm, they don’t know what they’re missing.” She laughed but quickly stopped as she sensed the tension in him.
“Hey, are you okay? You look like you’re about to be sick.”
Jake swallowed hard, head shaking as he drew in a tight breath, “I’m... terrified. What if I fuck it up? What if they find out what I did? What if-”
“Jake. Breathe,” Her hands were on his shoulders as she looked him in the eye, “Let’s try something different. What if none of that happens, and you love it? What if this is what you need to finally feel safe? You won’t know for sure until you’re there. Don’t ruin it before you get started.”
He knew she was right, but there was an iron band around his chest and a dead weight in his feet that kept him rooted to the floor.
He didn’t want to let her down.
Wanted to build a life with her, and to do it, he needed a job, and he was very aware of all the ways it could go wrong. Taking a steadying breath, he shook out his tingling hands and nodded, hoping he looked braver than he felt.
“I just hate being scared of everything. It makes me feel useless, weak,” He admitted in a whisper, watching as her brows furrowed. That spark ignited in her eyes, the one that always appeared when he was being too hard on himself.
“I’d be more concerned if you weren’t anxious or nervous. It’s normal to be afraid of something new, especially after what you went through. But Jake, the only time you can ever be brave is when you’re afraid. It doesn’t make you useless. It makes you strong and courageous because you’ll do it in spite of your fear.”
There was nothing but stolid belief and conviction in her tone as she stared up at him, a soft smile on her plush mouth, and he knew she was right and he would adapt like he always did.
“How do you always know the right thing to say?” He wondered aloud and she winked, pushing up on her toes to kiss his cheek before turning to leave the bedroom. Her response was tossed over her shoulder before she walked out the door.
“I just say what I wish people told me whenever I was afraid or anxious. And I know you better than anyone. You just needed someone to remind you who you are.”
Shaking his head, Jake didn’t question it or the calmness she left behind as he zipped his work bag shut and carried it through to the living room. She was waiting for him, a coy smile on her lips as she handed him a lunch bag and ducked her head.
His heart swelled and warmed, touched that someone wanted to take care of him. Her quiet care for those she loved was the most beautiful thing about her. He tried to open it, but she stopped him, a note of alarm in her voice that made him arch a brow.
“Wait until lunchtime to open it. I could barely close it; it’ll explode all over the place, and you’ll be late if you don’t hurry.” She rambled, not meeting his eye, and though he wanted to question her, she was right. He had to leave.
“Thank you. I’ll let you know how it goes when I get home. I love you.” He murmured and kissed her softly, smiling into it as she sighed happily.
Parting with the promise of spending another night together, Jake grabbed his car keys and belongings and headed out the door. She stood in the doorway waving and grinning as he backed out of her driveway and onto the main road, beeping the horn before he steeled his spine and followed the GPS to his new workplace.
The drive seemed to pass almost instantly. Like he blinked and he was there, he hoped the day went by just as quickly. The parking lot was already filling up, and he had to circle it a few times, his heart rate climbing higher with every turn.
Once he found a parking space, he double-checked he had all he needed and got out of the car, feeling his phone buzz in his pocket as he walked toward the building. Pulling it out, he saw her name and smiled as he opened it.
MC: Good luck, love. You’ll smash it. I’ll help you forget all about it tonight ;-)
Jake: Thank you. Enjoy your day, and I’ll hold you to that. :-)
He turned it off as he entered the building, schooling his features into what he hoped was a welcoming smile as he approached the front desk and gave the receptionist his name. The kindly older woman grinned at him and directed him to his floor, handing him a passkey with his photo, name, and title already on it.
Security analyst.
It sounded very official, and he couldn’t help his wry chuckle as he took the elevator to meet with his boss. If Jake from two years ago could see him now… He’d barely left the elevator when his name was called. He recognized the man’s baritone voice and whirled to face his new employer. His name was Harvey.
He was a sauve and perfectly put-together man in his mid-forties. His suit must’ve cost at least a couple month's wages. Jake felt like a boy around him but knew it was in his head as the man gestured for him to follow him inside his office.
Once he was seated, Harvey gave him a lengthy rundown of all that was expected of him and how desperately they needed his help and expertise. It was overwhelming, but he managed to stay on track and digest the urgency of the situation.
Jake nodded and asked a few questions, mainly listening as Harvey explained the flaws in their systems and the temporary patches they had in place. It would not hold forever, and Jake’s job was to close all holes and ensure everything ran smoothly. He was being paid handsomely for it and knew he could do it.
It was the human aspect of the job he worried over, but he’d cross that bridge when he came to it.
There was no point in borrowing problems from the future when the present held more than enough to keep him occupied.
His boss seemed to deflate with relief when Jake told him the ideas he’d already had. Still, he wanted to get familiar with the systems before implementing anything. Harvey was amenable to that, and soon, they were on their way to Jake’s new office.
An office.
His time spent in dingy motels while searching for Hannah felt like another life as he surveyed the room.
“I’ll let you set yourself up and get a feel for it. If you have any problems or questions, call my office. We’re glad to have you here.” Harvey said with a smile.
Jake thanked him again and returned his goodbye as Harvey closed the door and left him to it. He slumped into his new chair and blew out a breath as he turned his computer on and signed into his work account.
He soon forgot to be nervous as the familiar feel of the keys under his fingers and their comforting clacking filled the quiet room, reminding him of being at home. Working on his laptop while she flitted around the house or kept him company.
The morning passed in a blur of very little in the way of progress, but he learned a lot more than he thought he would take in on his first day. The size of the company was an issue. As was the fact employees took work laptops home. That wasn’t his problem yet, and he soon began compiling a list of the most glaring, dangerous issues.
He sent an email containing his findings to his boss, checked the time, and was surprised to see it was already lunchtime. He didn’t want to leave the safety of his office and decided to eat there for the day at least. Socializing could wait until he got his feet under him.
Signing off for the hour, he reached under his desk for his lunch bag. He set it on his desk, carefully opening it as he remembered her strange demeanor earlier that day. He was smiling as he saw the effort she went to.
Along with his well-filled sandwiches were a bag of chips, three energy drinks, and a bunch of his favorite snacks. His chest felt tight and pleasantly warm as he sent her a quick text to let her know how much he appreciated her.
He was happily eating a sandwich when he pulled the bag of chips out to add some to it and saw the note at the bottom of the bag. His heart kicked up as he picked it up and read it.
No matter what your silly brain tells you,
you are excellent at everything you do and can do this.
I am so proud of you I could cry.
You have strengthened me in my weakest moments.
I plan to always do the same for you.
Don’t forget how happy you make me.
Enjoy your lunch.
I love you.
His vision swam as he read it again and again. She was always surprising him. He never knew what was next with her, and he liked it, no, he loved it. She shook him out of his rigid numbness and convinced him he could have and be more.
She was a balm to his every wound, and he knew she felt the same about him.
He saw it in the way she went soft around him, all smiles and gentle kisses. Even when they disagreed, she was never cruel or harsh. She stood her ground, made her argument, and always listened to his side. They were a team, and he was doing this job to make sure that the life they dreamed of came true and she never had to worry about him again.
He barely tasted his lunch after that, time passing swiftly as he thought of everything he would say when he got home.
The rest of the work day went as quickly as the morning had, and Jake felt lighter and more sure of himself as he closed everything down and left his office. Harvey wished him a pleasant evening as Jake poked his head into his office to say goodbye and thanked him for the opportunity.
He was in his car and on the road home within minutes, music blaring, and the window rolled down as the sun made the tarmac shimmer. Fresh air filled his lungs, and he breathed much easier now the day was behind him. She would already be finished work, and he knew where she would be as he neared her house and slowed to turn into the driveway.
Seeing the side gate was unlocked, he knew his hunch was correct and hurried out of the car to find her. Her garden was half-wild and half-tamed. Long grass and tidy borders filled with carefully selected plants and flowers.
Birds chittered in the trees lining the back of it, and she was on her knees before a flower bed, hair tied back in a messy bun as she pruned the rose bushes. Their sweet scent hung heavy in the summer air as he approached and admired her in her element.
Bees buzzed around the flowers as he announced his presence so he didn’t frighten her; their fuzzy jackets were weighed down with pollen as they jumped from bloom to bloom.
As she turned to him and saw him smiling, her shoulders relaxed, and her eyes softened as she got to her feet and took off her gloves, tossing them on the ground as she came to him.
No hesitation, no second guessing, she invaded his personal space and gave a satisfied little sigh. Her arms wound around his waist. She smelled like earth, grass, and roses, a fragrant perfume he wished he could bottle.
“Well, how was it? Was anyone mean to you?” She laughed as he wrapped his arms around her and shook his head.
“It was... good. I think I’ll like it there. And no, cheeky, they were nice.”
“See, I knew you would do great.” She said, watching his face for any sign of discontent and finding none.
“I especially enjoyed the food you packed for me,” He hedged, delighted to see a blush creeping up her neck as she avoided his eye.
“Did you now?”
“I did. Someone left me a really encouraging note. You wouldn’t happen to know anything about that, would you?”
She shrugged, eyes twinkling as she said, “I haven’t the slightest inkling. What did it say?”
“That you are proud of me and love me. Some other things too, but I don’t want you to get any redder than you already are,” he teased, kissing her forehead as she hummed and cleared her throat.
“I suppose it’s all true... Tell me, did it help?” She asked, and he nodded.
“It did. Thank you, you’re far too good to me.”
She shook her head vehemently, “Nope. None of that. You’re more than enough for me. If I have to tell you -”
He laughed as he cut her off with a kiss that made her melt into him and clutch his shirt in two tight fists. He would never tire of kissing her.
That he was able to whenever he wanted felt like a gift, and he would not waste it, not for a second.
He’d already spent years of his life as a ghost, he refused to do so again. The feel and scent of her were all he knew as he possessed her mouth and knew this was where he was meant to be. They were only at the beginning.
There were so many years and opportunities ahead of them, and he could choose the things that made him happy, not what kept him free of his pursuers.
That was the most exciting thing of all, and he couldn’t wait to make mistakes that wouldn’t end his life or put him in jail. Just wanted to make those normal mess-ups that one could learn from. He hadn’t been able to do that in so long. It felt silly to look forward to such a thing, but he knew what life was like without it, and it wasn’t worth it.
The world was theirs for the taking, and he knew they would make it to whatever end they wanted. Together, always together. And whether the weather be frost, rain, or sunshine, they would be each other’s shelter. It was a vow he was only too happy to keep.