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Arthur sighs and rubs his face with his hands. The crown-his crown- feels heavy on his head as he watches the last of the guards file from the room, old man in tow. He wants to be more understanding of magic than his father, especially after his recent revelation of Merlin's own magic, but here he is sentencing another sorcerer to death.
He chances a glance at Merlin and finds the man watching him, an unreadable expression on his face. Even after all these years, Merlin still remained a mystery to Arthur, one that-if anything- became more unclear as he gathered information.
"I'm sorry Merlin."
"What for?"
Arthur waves a hand through the air. "The trial. The sentencing. The distrust of magic. It's not-I'm not- I'm trying to be better. I want to be better". Better than my father and his hatred. Better than his cruelty.
"You gave them a trial Arthur. That's more than your father ever would have done. You found the man guilty because he was. He tried to kill you Arthur, he deserves to die. Not because of his magic, but because of his choices. You did the right thing."
"I-"
"You are your father's son Arthur, not your father himself. When the time comes, you will accept magic, fully, like you accepted me. You will allow it to flourish. You will be the king that your father never could be."
"What if I'm too much like him? What if, in sharing his blood, I share his cruelty?"
"You don't Arthur. You are a better man than Uther ever was. And you will come to be the greatest king Albion has ever known. I promise you that."
The pride in Merlin's voice, the belief he had in Arthur, was almost enough to make Arthur believe in himself.
*********************
"Do you remember the first time we met?"
Arthur can just about make out Merlin's voice over the sound of his own thoughts, pulling him back and out of the depths of his mind. He can feel the warmth and weight of Merlin's thigh against his own-an anchor- now, as always.
"Arthur, are you okay?"
Arthur tears his eyes away from the dying fire, its embers glowing orange in the night. He looks up at Merlin, who is looking back with concern in his eyes.
"What? What did you say?"
"I asked if you remember the first time we met. But that's not important now. Are you alright? What's going on up there?" He taps his finger against Arthur's temple lightly, before running a hand through Arthur's hair.
"I'm fine. It's nothing. I was just thinking."
Merlin smiles, the lopsided one that makes Arthur's heart flutter. "Oh, it is bad. You're thinking now. Try not to hurt yourself, Sire."
Arthur tries to glare at him, but its proven ineffective by the fondness bubbling behind his eyes.
Merlin's gaze softens. "Do you want to talk about it?"
"There's nothing to talk about. Not really."
Merlin looks him in the eye, searching for whatever it was that might be troubling Arthur, before simply dropping his hand from Arthur's hair and shrugging. "Okay. But- when you're ready..."
They sit in silence for a minute. Merlin mutters something under his breath and the fire roars back to life. Arthur watches, transfixed, as Merlin's eyes flash gold, before returning to their original, comforting blue. Merlin was doing magic in front of him, not hiding it in the shadows anymore. So much had changed since they first met.
"I thought I was dreaming."
Merlin looks at him, confused.
"The day we first met. I thought I had walked into a dream. The situation seemed too ridiculous to be real."
"Oh, so it was a nightmare, you're saying?"
"No. Not at all. It was a ridiculous situation, but one that I enjoyed. No one had ever not known who I was. I was always Prince Arthur. But to you, I was just some asshole, who was making someone miserable. You were the first person to ever stand up to me and make me realize that I was in the wrong; the first person to ever talk to me like I was a person, and not a Prince. And I liked that. It also helped that I thought you were incredibly attractive."
Merlin smiles and ducks his head before becoming serious. "That feels like so long ago. We were so young then and had so few worries compared to now. But I'm glad fate brought us together; that we're bound together, one way or another."
Bound together. That phrase sticks out. It becomes the only thought that exists in Arthur's mind. The thought of being with Merlin, bound to him, forever.
"What if it wasn't just fate that bound us together?" Arthur asks. He reaches into his tunic and pulls out the medallion he knows he'll find there. "Here. This belonged to my mother. It bears her sigil."
He unwraps it and hands it over to Merlin.
"Arthur. This is one of the few things you have of your mother's. You can't give it to me. I can't accept it."
"Just take it. It's mine to give to whomever I wish. As is my heart, which has been yours since that first fateful meeting. I love you, Merlin, and I want you to have it."
Merlin holds the medallion in his hands and looks at it reverently before looking at Arthur, his eyes full of tears and so much love that Arthur could drown in it.
Their lips meet and Arthur feels infinite.
********************
Merlin is too late. He knows it the moment he opens his eyes in the morning. He can feel it in his soul, in his very core. They were so close to the Lake, and yet so far, and death was here- beckoning.
Arthur could no longer hold himself up. Merlin was practically dragging him, trying in vain to get him to continue on."
"No. Just stop Merlin. Stop. I can't carry on."
Merlin pulls Arthur to the ground, goes to set him up a spot to rest, maybe get him something to drink. But when he goes to leave, he's stopped by a hand on his arm.
"Just hold me."
Merlin takes Arthur in his arms, pulling him into his lap, Arthur's head resting against his chest. He doesn't bother trying to stop the tears that are falling from his eyes.
"Don't go Arthur. Please. Don't give in, not now."
Arthur's hand comes up to rest on top of Merlin's, gripping it with the last of his strength.
"You've already done so much for me Merlin, and for Camelot. Everything I've built is thanks to you. I don't know if I've told you before how much I appreciate it all. I love you."
"Arthur. No, no...," Merlin feels his heart shatter. And it's so hard to breathe, and he screams so loudly he's sure they can hear it in Camelot. The tears continue to fall.
And then he thinks to summon the dragon.
********************
"He is dead, young warlock."
"Please. Please save him. I would do anything."
"Anything? Would you forsake your immortality to save him?"
"I never asked to be immortal in the first place. What good is it, if he's not here with me?"
The dragon takes a moment to consider, and Merlin feels his hope- the small amount he'd allowed himself to hold on to- slipping away. Then the dragon speaks once more.
"So be it then. I will grant you this one wish. But just know, you will be a mortal man. The things you could survive before, could very well be your end now. You will age, and die, as any mortal would. And you cannot take this back. Do you understand?"
"Yes. Do it. I choose a mortal life."
Arthur can feel himself slipping away. Can feel himself heading toward the dark abyss, and into endless sleep. He feels himself slipping away, and then he doesn't. There's a light, blinding, and Arthur becomes vaguely aware of a presence next to him. Merlin. And then it's not just a presence, but a voice, the touch of a hand.
Arthur opens his eyes. Staring back at him is the broken, tear stained face, of Merlin. His Merlin. He watches as Merlin realizes what has happened. Watches the moment he realizes that by some miracle, Arthur is back. Merlin drops his face to Arthur's chest and listens to his heart beating, assuring himself that this had worked- Arthur was alive. He lets out a sob.
"It worked. You're back."
No, not by some miracle...
This was Merlin. The most powerful sorcerer in the world, if fate and the Druids were to be believed.
"Merlin, what did you do?"
"It doesn't matter Arthur. All that matters is you're back, you're alive."
"What. Did. You. Do? What did you bargain in exchange for my life?" Arthur's voice is deathly low.
Merlin looks at him. He knows that voice. There would be no getting out of this conversation. "I called the Dragon. We made a deal that he would bring you back...in exchange for my immortality."
"You- Merlin. You-you gave up your immortality for nothing?"
"For nothing? Do you think you're nothing?"
"What am I compared to immortality Merlin? I'm just a man. I am nothing com-"
"You are everything to ME! I don't care about how you compare to anyone or anything else Arthur because to me you are everything. I would die tomorrow if it meant you got to live."
"So, you would force me to live with the fact that your death would be in my hands? That's selfish of you Merlin."
"It's selfish of you to decide that I should suffer the burden of your death forever. Besides, what is my life, in exchange for yours?"
"Do you really think your life is worth so little Merlin?"
When Merlin speaks again, Arthur doesn't miss the fact that he doesn't answer the question.
"Look, I decided that your time here wasn't up. Not in Camelot, not as King, and not with me. Now you can achieve everything I know you're capable of. We can be together, get a chance at some normalcy. And maybe it's selfish, but I think fate owes us that much."
"You had the chance to live forever Merlin. Why would you give that up?"
"Because forever means nothing if you're not here with me. I would rather share one lifetime with you, than face all the ages of this world alone."
Arthur had never felt more loved, or appreciated, or important than he did in this moment. Not even on the day he had been crowned king.
"Oh. Well then. I- thank you." He says with tears in his eyes.
When Merlin kisses him, Arthur comes back to life for a second time.
And maybe Arthur still doesn't understand why Merlin can't see how special he is. How much his life is worth to Arthur and everyone around him- Gwen, the knights, Gaius, his mother- how to Arthur he is more important than everything else combined. He doesn't understand how Merlin could see himself as anything less than the sky and all its stars. But Arthur had extra years now. And he would spend every minute, of every one of them, making sure Merlin knew how loved he was.