Work Text:
As every family with children in the days before tablets, cell phones, and highly advanced technological gadgets, every time they went out to eat, the restaurant had to have a play zone.
And Wei Wuxian hated it.
It was too dangerous! He couldn't understand how his husband could be so calm, waiting for their food while their three babies were somewhere in that monstrosity.
"You didn't tell me you used to go on those games all the time when you were a child?"
"Exactly, and that's why I know how horrible they can be!"
He had a lot of freedom in that regard; his parents simply dropped him and he would get lost in the enormous ball pit.
The very dangerous ball pit.
"And it's dangerous because...?"
"There could be anything in there, Lan Zhan."
At this moment, their little A-yuan might be putting any dubious candy he found there into his mouth. Or even worse, the very balls.
He hated that the zone was so big that he could only see a little bit.
"Wei Ying, look. A-yuan and A-yang are waving at us," his husband pointed out with a small smile.
That distracted Wei Wuxian for a while; their two kids were fine and waving at them, something very cute that he couldn't help but smile at.
...
Only two?
"Wait, where is their sister? I'm going to-"
"No, let them play. Maybe A-shui made friends in there"
That didn't alleviate his concerns at all. Making friends there was a double-edged sword. On one hand, if the game went well, everything would be nice, but if it started to go wrong, they would fight.
More precisely, they would bite. And kids bite hard.
His daughter bites hard.
"Wei Ying, A-shui wouldn't bite anyone."
"You don't know! Who knows how many germs those kids have? And what if she bites so hard that she draws blood, and-?"
"You're being paranoid." he cut his husband off with a flat expression.
Wei Ying was no longer allowed to enter the games with their kids; according to security, the children didn't need company anymore. Clearly they didn't have children themselves.
"I'm gonna call them"
"Wei Ying, let them play"
"I gave them a phone, they just have to answer."
"... You gave them a what?"
Since A-yang came back with a scratch on his arm (which he claimed he got from the net, further reinforcing his belief that those games were dangerous), Wei Ying gave them a small cellphone that only served to make calls, answer calls, send messages, and play the snake.
Wei Ying called them and waited.
He heard the ringing tone for about 10 seconds before they answered.
"Die die," A-yuan answered.
"Hi sweetheart, is there something wrong?"
"Yes, please come," and he hung up.
***
Lan Zhan was dealing with the play zone attendant, patiently explaining that indeed his son had called them and to please not call security.
Meanwhile, Wei Wuxian was crouched and sitting in a circle around the slide.
The problem had been that A-yuan wanted A-yang to slide down first, but there was another child who wanted his sister to go first. Both were stubborn about it and before they started fighting, A-yuan did what his dad told him to do if there were problems: ask a familiar adult for help.
And Wei Wuxian had been delighted to help.
***
Don't get Lan Wangji wrong; he did care about his children. But he didn't see the same danger in those games that his husband did.
As a child, he had hated them, to put it lightly. They were dark, enclosed, and unhygienic places. He would never have willingly climbed into one.
But to his misfortune, his brother Lan Xichen loved them.
Eventually, over time, he found that they weren't as bad as he had thought. Of course, they still smelled bad, and sliding down that slide was terrifying (influenced by stories about kids who slid down and never came out that his brother's friend had told him), but it was... bearable, no real danger.
And he still had the same thought, so while waiting for their food, he only focused on watching his husband go crazy. If you asked him, it was quite cute.
Seeing his husband come down the slide with two kids was even cuter.