Chapter Text
“Severus… maybe should we tell Pomfrey…”
Severus slammed the beaker full of herbs on the stovetop and whirled around. “Tell her what, Sirius?” he demanded irately. Behind him, a cauldron containing a cloudy white liquid began to boil. “That we were erotically experimenting with potions and want to know why a particular one hasn’t worn off yet?”
“I can deal with embarrassment if it means you’re safe and healthy!” Sirius insisted.
Severus sneered. “I’m a Potions Master. I can take care of myself!” He turned his attention to the cauldron, using a ladle to spoon a dose of the mixture into a bowl. “Hand me that test tube of yellow stuff on the counter.”
“Yellow stuff?” Sirius repeated as he retrieved the requested liquid. He had never heard Severus refer so imprecisely to an ingredient. “What is it?”
“If you must know, it’s my urine.”
“Eww!” Sirius exclaimed, almost dropping the test tube. “Severus, we are in the kitchen.”
Severus glared. “After all the unmentionable things we have stuck in unmentionable parts of each other, I should hardly think something as basic as excrement would disgust you.”
“But in the kitchen!” he declared, handing the tube to him.
The Potions Master ignored his comment and uncorked the test tube. He poured half of its contents into the bowl. Slowly, the potion changed from a mixture of white and yellow to bright pink. Severus’s face paled.
Sirius glanced at him apprehensively. “What does pink mean?”
“It means I brewed the potion incorrectly,” Severus replied. He sounded shaken.
Sirius gave him a funny look. “Severus, you never-”
“You’re distracting me! Get out!” he snapped.
Sirius sighed and retreated to the living room without complaint. Life with Severus Snape could be trying and tumultuous- he never would have forced himself to endure it if he weren’t absolutely crazy about the man- and he had learned how to pick his battles. This, by far, was not one of them.
But what does pink mean? Is Severus going to be alright?
After half of an hour, Severus emerged from the kitchen.
“Well?” Sirius asked anxiously.
“Still pink,” Severus answered, then promptly fainted.