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Two weeks. It had been two weeks since Leo went and blew his ass out of the sky for the sake of the world.
Deep down, he knew it would come to that. He just didn’t want to admit it. Admitting it would mean it was real. And it couldn’t be. It couldn't be real. Jason couldn't take it if it was.
It took him two weeks to finally admit it.
The Romans had left a couple days prior. After ten days of touch and go with their wounded, Frank and Reyna were finally able to deem their troops fit to travel. To their faces, Jason was happy for them. Reyna was getting restless and he knew it was for the best. She needed to get back to New Rome, for the good of the people. But really? He needed her to stay. Reyna was his rock. She was his partner in crime for years. Nobody else could truly grasp what he was feeling.
Except Leo.
Reyna was just like Jason. But Leo was his complete opposite.
While Jason was slow, controlled, and meticulous, Leo was the spontaneous burst of fiery energy that constantly pulled him out of his head.
Not even his girlfriend, Piper, could make him feel like this. Which was weird. Leo acted more like a partner than Piper did.
Maybe he should talk to her about that. But that was a problem for Later Jason. Current Jason needed to go to bed before he helped Leo’s siblings the next day in their futile search.
But of course, in demigod fashion, Jason didn’t get the sleep he deserved. He just had to have a wild dream. Except this time it was different. This dream was more of a memory.
~~
Jason remembered that conversation with Leo surprisingly well. It wasn’t so much of a conversation than it was an event. It happened the night Percy and Annabeth fell into Tartarus. Leo was so distraught, he couldn’t be reasoned with. He stood at the helm, hands glued to the Wii controller, ignoring everyone around him. Piper had tried talking to him for hours. She even added a bit of charmspeak to try to calm him down. But Leo’s guilt was so deep it couldn’t penetrate.
At about 1am that morning, Piper crept into Jason’s room. She was so exhausted Jason knew exactly what he needed to do. He guided her over to his bed where she collapsed. Jason tucked her in and kissed her forehead. Hedge could suck it. In their defense, they had just gone through one of the arguably harder days of the quest.
Before he made his way to the helm, Jason stopped in the kitchen for a couple of snacks. Who knew when the last time Leo ate was?
When Jason arrived at his final destination, he was disappointed but not surprised to see Leo still standing there. Jason tapped on his shoulder, and Leo whipped around, startled. But he saw the food and eagerly dug in. After he was done, Leo looked into Jason’s face for the first time in what seemed like forever and shattered. Jason sat there, stone still, while Leo cried and cried. He silently prayed that the rest of the crew didn’t hear the anguished cries coming from above deck. This was a moment that needed to stay private.
After what seemed like hours, Leo finally had the strength to look up.
“Thank you”, he had said.
And he went in for the kiss.
~~
Jason shot up in his bed and looked over to the clock next to him. 3:12 am. He felt sick to his stomach. Is that really what happened that night? Or was this his brain playing some cruel joke on him, kicking him when he’s already down?
Whatever it was, Jason couldn’t take it. He haphazardly pulled on his jacket and tugged on his shoes. To Hades with the harpies. He needed to get out of there.
On his way out to the forest, he passed by the Aphrodite cabin. Maybe he should make it a Current Jason problem, instead of leaving it for Later Jason. But it was 3:30 in the morning and he didn’t want to wake up Piper and promptly have a life-changing crisis. That was pretty low. Jason barreled past the cabin and into the woods.
He walked until he arrived at a familiar clearing. He was surprisingly close to Bunker 9. During the construction of the Argo II, Leo would always forget about meals, and sometimes even his friends. To counteract this, Jason (and sometimes Piper) would make the trek out there with some food and drag Leo out of the Bunker. They spent many a meal break in this clearing, cracking jokes and just spending time with each other. There was one tree, near the center of the clearing that provided adequate shade during the sunnier days. The boys made their temporary home there during those months.
Jason made his way back to that same tree and thought back to what Jake Mason had told him in the days after Leo’s disappearance.
Jake had told him to grieve. Losing a brother is an entire different ball game than losing a friend. Jason could guess he was some sort of expert in that.
But… a brother. Something about calling Leo a brother seemed wrong.
There was no way he was missing Leo like a brother? The pain felt too… raw to be in a familiar way. Jason didn’t think he would be missing Thalia that way if she died. But she was an immortal being now. Of course it would be different.
But Leo. Leo was someone Jason didn’t think he could live without. Leo, who always knew what Jason needed before he knew himself. Leo, who cracked a joke at every tension.
Leo, whose focus on everyone but himself was what killed him.
Jason was mad at himself for not seeing it earlier. Leo would inadvertently drop hints of his self-hatred and self-detriment. But with each hint Jason would move closer to Piper and farther from Leo, in hopes of creating a relationship like Percy and Annabeth’s. Jason couldn’t even tell that Leo was planning something big, and he could always tell when Leo was planning something.
By the time he finally saw it, it was too late. Leo was too far into whatever his plan was for him to back out. All Jason could do was watch from the sidelines.
But why? What was so important about Jason’s life that Leo didn’t think he was worth it? Was there yet another thing Jason never saw? So many questions with nobody to answer them. The story of Jason’s life.
To Jason, Leo was always worth it. Leo was everything Jason wasn’t and more.
Leo.
Leo.
Leo.
Jason shook his head. What was wrong with him? He needed to get it together. This wasn’t how you thought about your best friend.
Wasn’t it?
Sure it was. People had ride-or-dies for a reason.
But Leo wasn’t a ride-or-die. He was his… person. And Piper wasn’t?
It was all too much. He needed to talk to her.
But wouldn’t that be weird? Talking to his girlfriend about his crush on his best friend who is most likely dead?
Who know? It is officially a problem for Later Jason. Current Jason needed to figure out what to tell her… how to tell her.