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“James, we just can’t do this anymore. I just- We can’t be together anymore. It’s over. Move on, go be happy with someone else. There are so many people out there who would love to be with you.” said Regulus sadly as he looked at James, a heartbreaking space between them from where Regulus had forced them apart after their hello kiss because he had to end this.
James looked at Regulus with wide hazel eyes that are filled with hurt and confusion, and he asked, “What? Regulus, what happened? What’s changed? I thought we were- I thought we were doing good. What- What changed?”
“What changed? James, come on. We both knew this wasn’t going to last.” laughed Regulus coldly as his own heart was shattering in his chest, piercing his lungs as he forced himself not to cry in front of James. He knew this was the worst thing he could do, but he had to do this for James because James deserved better. “I’m not good. You know that. You’ve known that the entire time. This has been fun, James, but it’s over now. So, go and find someone new to be with, you’ll be fine. Goodbye Potter.”
Regulus turned as a single tear falls from those hazel eyes, and he felt tears slip down his own cheeks as he walked out of the astronomy tower, descending the stairs and wiping his eyes as he reached the door.
James crumbled to the ground as soon as Regulus was out of sight, the sobs fell from his lips before he could stop them, and he felt like his heart was just ripped from his chest. He didn’t know what happened, didn’t know what changed when Regulus was leaving his dorm that morning, whispering sweet nothings against his lips before he disappeared out of the portrait, telling him that he loved him. He didn’t know how long he’d been in the astronomy tower sobbing. James only knew that when he finally felt all cried out, he was in Sirius and Remus’ arms being rocked.
“Prongs, what happened?” asked Sirius hesitantly, anger in his voice that overlays the worry he’s clearly feeling as James pushed himself away from his friends.
“Regulus broke up with me.” said James quietly as he picked himself up off the floor, brushing himself off as he stood.
That was almost two months ago, and James is seeing someone new. He said yes to the brunette Ravenclaw boy, Kace, when he asked him out two weeks after the break-up became clear to the rest of the school. Ever since then, the whispers going around the school have been about how perfect James and Kace are, how much happier James looks with him.
Sirius, Remus, James, and Kace are heading to their shared transfigurations class, when Sirius catches sight of Regulus. Remus has kept him up to date on Regulus as has Severus through Lily since the break-up, but this is the first time Regulus hasn’t been guarded by his friends. And Sirius feels his fists clench at the sight of his brother because he knows he isn’t looking at the brother he’s known his whole life, he’s looking at a ghost floating down the halls.
James and Kace take the lead, their intertwined hands swinging between them as Sirius watches his brother walk right past them, Remus squeezing his hand with his own.
“Pads, it’s going to be okay.” whispers Remus quietly as Sirius watches Regulus go around the corner.
“It’s not. I know why he’s done this, and it’s really starting to piss me off.” grumbles Sirius as a group of girls walk past them.
“Kace and James are such a perfect couple, they’re literally couple goals!” squeals one of the girls, and Sirius gags.
“Just let me curse ‘em. Just let me do it, just once. Seriously, I can’t stand them all thinking Prongs and that prat are perfect together.” huffs Sirius under his breath as those girls pass them, still whispering about the true “power couple” as they go, he’s clenching his wand in his hand from where it’s been settled against his arm. “Not when James looks like a shell of himself, are you kidding me? He still cries himself to sleep, he’s not happy with that douchebag. And Kace doesn’t know a thing about James, not a fucking thing after two weeks. He still argues with James about quidditch for Merlin’s sake!”
“No, Sirius, no cursing blind little girls. Trust me, the ones who knows James, we all know he’s not happy. We know that Kace isn’t good for him. We just have to deal with it until Kace fucks up, or Regulus gets some sense knocked into him.” murmurs Remus as he guides Sirius back onto their path to class, tugging him along until they catch up with James and Kace.
James hears his friends behind them, and he hears the whispers from everyone else. He can’t help but agree with his friends because even as he holds Kace’s hand, feeling the warmth of him against him, he can’t help but wish for Regulus. He can’t help but wish for quick kisses between classes, passing gripping pinkies when they passed each other in the halls. Kace doesn’t understand James like Regulus did, he keeps trying to get James to quit quidditch, and he hasn’t shown to any of the games since they got together. As Kace leans in to press a quick kiss to James’ lips before they go into the classroom, James can’t help but wish for smooth lips rather than the chapped lips that press against his own. He can’t help but wish for the warmth that used to fill him at the feel of Regulus’ lips, the love he felt in each kiss, no matter how short or glancing.
James decides right then and there that when he and Kace have dinner by the lake, he’s going to end this mess. He can’t do it, he thought he could because Regulus told him to, and he always tries to give Regulus anything he wanted. But he can’t do this, not when all he wants is Regulus. He can’t.
The rest of the day passes in a blur, and when classes are over, Sirius goes straight for the dungeons while Remus and James head to the library to do homework. Sirius meets Severus, and follows after him, ears covered when Severus whispered the password.
“He’s in his dorm, Barty made sure it was just them. They’ll leave when you come in, but Regulus has his curtains drawn right now. Good luck.” says Severus with a sigh as he points towards the stairs for Sirius.
“Thanks Severus. I’ll hopefully get this mess fixed soon, and make sure you go and find that prat. I just know he’s sneaking around on James, there’s no way he isn’t with how often he disappears.” replies Sirius seriously as he nods at Severus before heading to the staircase, climbing them as quickly as he could, determined to knock some sense into his brother.
They’d been talking about it since Remus caught him sneaking out of the Hufflepuff dorm three nights ago while he was on patrol with Severus. Kace had simply said he’d been studying and conked out on one of the couches. Remus and Severus docked him ten points for being out after curfew, but that was all either of them could do.
“We’re going to go meet up with Severus, that Kace guy… Well, let’s just put it this way, we know who to talk to.” says Barty quietly as he meets Sirius at the door, Evan right behind him, both wearing grimaces on their faces. “Talk to him, please.”
“I’ll do my best, but we all know James is the best at this… But I’m going to get through to him, I swear it.” murmurs Sirius quietly as he steps into the room, nodding at them as they leave and close the door quietly behind them.
Sirius takes a deep breath, slouching his shoulders as he breathes out because he knows this conversation is going to suck. But he also knows he has to do this, so he straightens his shoulders and walks over to the only bed with drawn curtains. Sirius tugs them back with ease, and his heart cracks at the sight of his little brother curled up on his bed with a dragon stuffy in his hands. He knows it’s the same one James had given him when they got to Hogwarts after the summer that spelled the end of the Dark Lord, after they went on their first date to a muggle carnival. James won the silver dragon for Regulus, and Sirius won Remus a lion stuffy.
“You’re being stupid, Regulus.” says Sirius with a sigh as he settles on the edge of the bed, looking at the wall instead of his brother.
“How am I being stupid, brother? I’m simply laying on my bed.” huffs Regulus in an offended tone as he sits up and glares at Sirius.
Sirius turns to him and gives him the, “are you serious?” look while Regulus’s fingers run down the plush stomach of the dragon. Sirius moves to sit on the bed in front of his brother, mimicking him by sitting cross-legged before he says, “You think I don’t know what you’re doing? Those bastards told you that you weren’t good enough for anyone they didn’t choose, and even then, that you were lucky to be chosen to be with them. We’ve been told this all our lives, we aren’t good enough, and we’re the lucky ones when we’re chosen, if we’re chosen. I know what you’re doing because I did the same thing.”
“When did you do this? You and Remus got together, and everything was fine. You have no idea what this is like.” argues Regulus in a hurt tone, swallowing against the lump in his throat as he rolls his watery eyes at his brother.
“Everything was not fine, are you kidding me? I argued with Remus for ages, I kept telling him no every time he asked me out because I didn’t think I was good enough for him, I didn’t want him to have to deal with my trauma, you name it, I used it as an excuse to reject him. I knew I loved Remus, but I couldn’t tell him yes.” replies Sirius with a scoff, rolling his eyes at himself as Regulus’ eyes go wide and his hands hold the dragon like it’s fragile.
“How did you deal with it? How did you and Remus end up together if you were pushing him away? What changed? What made you able to say yes like you wanted to?” asks Regulus softly, his eyes are locked on that dragon as he forces the questions from his lips, asking his brother for help.
“James. James helped me get through everything enough to finally ask Remus out myself. James talked to me, and he showed me that I was loveable.” explains Sirius quietly, a fondness to his voice as he looks down a moment before lifting his eyes to meet his brother’s eyes as a nostalgic smile curves his lips. “He knocked me in the head and argued with me, and he reminded me that Remus has been with me through all of it, he knew everything. He reminded me that I have been good enough from day one, and they knew it the moment we met. He also reminded me that I’m not the only one questioning whether I’m good enough because Remus does it a lot too.”
“How do you deal with the bad days? How do you deal with the days that their words just get too loud to ignore?” asks Regulus quietly, hesitantly like he’s scared.
“Well, we both have bad days, and they happen often enough that we’ve actually came up with a way to let the other know when it’s a bad day.” replies Sirius with a soft chuckle as he pulls something out of his pocket, setting it on the bed between them. “We wear this moon pin on the end of our tie when it’s bad, and the other usually spends all day doing what we always do. We’ve always sent little notes, reminders, but the other also drags them off and holds them until they’re ready to talk. Moony and I have found a way to deal with our bad days after a lot of long conversations and trial and error, and we still mess up from time to time. But we’ve talked about it. And that’s what you and Prongs need to do.”
Regulus stares at the moon pin for a minute, then he reaches out to brush the tip of his finger against the cool pin. His eyes are shining, and his shoulders start to shake before the sobs leave him. Sirius immediately moves forward, pulling his brother into a tight hug as Regulus cries. He’s heaving, ugly, heartbreaking sobs leaving him as he buries his face in his brother’s shoulder, his fingertip pressing against that pin. Everything he’s been feeling, the pain of seeing James move on with that idiot Ravenclaw, of hearing those damn whispers reminding him that he wasn’t good enough, the letters from his parents. He’s overwhelmed as he shakes in his brother’s arms, not even the light shushing of his brother can calm him right now as the heartbreak and anguish pours out of him like a broken siren song.
“I-I l-love him.” cries Regulus into his brother’s shoulder, soaking his brother’s robes as he brings his arms around to clutch at his back. “I d-d-didn’t wa-wanna b-bre-break-up wit-with him, I wan-wanted to b-be wi-with him. B-but M-mom a-and d-dad f-fou-found o-out, a-and thr-threat-threatened h-him. I-I c-coul-couldn’t, I- They were gonna hurt him.”
“They won’t hurt James, and they aren’t going to hurt you either. I swear on Godric Gryffindor that I’m not going to let them hurt you anymore, Reggie. I’m getting you away from them, even if that means I have to go to Dumbledore him-fucking-self to do so.” says Sirius fiercely as he rocks his brother in his hold, anger intertwining with the guilt that’s never left him.
“I-I a-alr-already we-went t-to D-Dumble-Dumbledore. The-They-They’re get-getting pi-picked u-up t-ton-tonight. I-I ju-just, I- ca-can’t, merlin I just want James!” sobs Regulus as he tries to calm himself down, trying to breathe as best he can against the tears, gulping air even as he hiccups over and over again.
“It’s okay, Reggie, we’re gonna get you and James together again. I promise we will. But first you have to breathe, so follow me, okay? Let’s breathe together.” whispers Sirius in a calming tone before his brother backs up to look at him, and he starts to coach Regulus into breathing with him.
It takes some time, but soon enough, Regulus no longer feels like he’s drowning. He clears his face of tears, but he knows the red streaks are still clear on his pale skin as he looks at his brother with determination in his silver eyes.
“How do I get James back?” asks Regulus seriously, his hands balled into fists against his bed.
“First, we have to figure out whether that Kace kid is actually being loyal to Prongs, then we have to tell him if he’s not. Otherwise, I know Remus is talking to Prongs about ending things because he’s not happy. And then you come to our common room and talk to him. You get James back by actually sitting down and explaining everything to him, then you ask him if he’d want to try again.” replies Sirius with a smirk on his lips as he nods proudly at his brother and lays out the plan with ease.
“Then let’s go try to win back my Jam.” says Regulus determinedly as he and Sirius stand from the bed.
“Let’s go get you a Prongs boyfriend again.” agrees Sirius as he leads Regulus out of the dorm, down the stairs, and out of the Slytherin space.
It’s as they reach the hall that runs in front of the Great Hall that the screaming catches their attention.
“You’re fucking cheating on me while you stand here telling me you’ve fallen for me? Are you fucking kidding me?” James’ voice echoes down the hall and the Black brothers share a look before they take off, sprinting down the hall and shoving through the crowd of students to find James and Kace facing off in the middle of it.
Severus, Evan, Barty, Remus, and Lily are all standing at James’ back as Kace stands in front of a Hufflepuff guy who looks hurt.
“I have fallen for you, James, but I know you’re still hung up on that Slytherin brat. So, I decided to get what I wanted from someone else while I waited for you to be ready. You can’t blame me for that!” exclaims Kace angrily as he throws his arms in the air, seeming to not understand why James is pissed.
“You cheated on him?” asks Regulus as he catches up, pulling his eyes from the sexiness that is James when he’s angry.
“What’s it to you, Black? You broke his fucking heart, so why do you care?” snaps Kace angrily as he takes a step forward, but Regulus steps forward until he’s inches away and pulls the Black glare into place with ease.
“I care because I didn’t actually want to fucking end things. James is fucking amazing, cheating on him is the stupidest thing anyone can do. And there are a few reasons why that’s a bad idea, do you know why?” asks Regulus coolly, tilting his head with a devious smirk as Kace scoffs and shakes his head. “No? Huh, guess not all Ravenclaws are smart. Well, one of them is that James has two scarily knowledgeable friends, Remus Lupin and Sirius Black. Those two would hurt you without being caught, trust me, I’ve watched them do it before. The other reason, the smartest witch in this school, Lily Evans and the best Potion-maker and Dark Arts wizard, Severus Snape, are also his friends, very protective, very dangerous. But there’s another reason as well, can you guess what it is?”
“None of that means anything to me. I’m the best Ravenclaw in my year, and the professors all love me. Nobody can touch me.” sneers Kace as he gets in Regulus’ face before shoving him backwards.
Regulus chuckles, not even stumbling a little before he inches his wand out of his sleeve and wordlessly silences Kace.
“You see, I am in love with James Potter. And yes, I was a complete dumbass in ending things. But that doesn’t mean anyone can hurt him without me getting involved, and trust me, you don’t want that. So, I’ll leave you with a warning, okay? What he chooses to happen between the two of you is his business, but my going away present? Heh, everyone’s going to see that. Enjoy it.” replies Regulus before he whispers a simple curse that brings about aching bouts of acne all over Kace’s face, but then he looks down and covers his private area with his hands. “Oh, yeah… I’ve heard celibacy is a trip.”
Regulus turns and steps forward until he’s shoulder to shoulder with James, and he whispers, “Whenever you’re ready, I’d really like to talk to you.”
He walks away before James can respond, shoving his way back through the crowd as he heads back to the dungeons. He’s not happy, but he’s at least done what he would’ve done whether he’d witnessed that or not.
“Regulus! Regulus!”
Regulus almost trips over his own feet at the sound of James’ voice yelling his name, sounding angry and confused at the same time. He turns on the balls of his feet and attempts to look at James in confusion only to be tackled to the ground, his head falling harshly against a hand placed at the right time.
“What the hell?” groans Regulus as he winces, lifting his head as he looks up at James, his hands holding James’ waist before he straddles Regulus in the middle of the hall. “James?”
“You know how hot you are when you’re defending me, and you still decided to teach that asshat a lesson right in front of me. I can’t believe you thought I was letting you go without talking to you!” exclaims James, sounding affronted as he looks down at Regulus, both hands pressing against the cool floor.
“Oh, like you screaming at the prick wasn’t just as bad? Are you kidding me? I missed the him cheating part because you looked too fucking sexy. And I didn’t think you’d let me go without talking to me, I just didn’t expect you to want to talk right after all of that. I was trying to be patient!” argues Regulus with a light accusing tone as he pouts up at James, letting his head lay against the warm hand still under his head.
“Well, I- I ended things with the dumbass and took off after you. We need to talk about everything, and Sirius said you wanted to talk to me. So, let’s talk.” says James with a lighthearted shrug and a soft wince,
“In the middle of the hall? This is where you wanna have this conversation?” asks Regulus as he waves a hand to emphasize where they are, brows raising.
“Well, not really, but like we need to talk. And I’m not really welcome in the dungeons right now, and I doubt you want to come to the tower. So, meet in the middle type of thing?” replies James sheepishly as he lets his head lean forward to break their eye contact.
“Well, I guess… Fuck it, why not. Look, I ended things because I felt like I wasn’t good enough for you. James, you deserve so much better than me, and it felt like I was being selfish by staying with you. That and my- well- Walburga threatened to hurt you if I didn’t end things because they found out about it.” explains Regulus a bit brokenly, already feeling the tears welling up in his eyes and he forces them shut so he can talk. He knows he has to tell James everything, and maybe he can’t say it all right now, but if he can at least explain this, maybe they can somewhat okay again. “But I know you know how they treated us and the shit they put in our heads. It doesn’t make up for how cold and awful I was when I ended things, but it’s as much of an explanation as I can really give you.”
“Why didn’t you just talk to me about it?” asks James softly, confused and hurt, a little bit angry, but encouraging all the same as he slips off of Regulus and crosses his legs in front of him.
“I was scared.” says Regulus before he sighs harshly and sits himself up, meeting James in the same position, their knees touching as Regulus looks at him. “I felt guilty, like I was making you settle for me just because I love you so much, and I just kept hearing Walburga’s words in my head. “You’re lucky if they choose you, but you’ll never be good enough for anyone.” I should’ve just talked to you about everything, maybe we could’ve figured out how to deal with it, but I took the coward’s way out and broke both of our hearts instead. For that, I am so, so, so sorry, James.”
“You should’ve talked to me about everything, Regulus. We could’ve figured out how to handle it, and we would’ve figured out how to handle it. You didn’t have to end things and take all of that on yourself like that, Regs.” replies James softly, his hand reaching out to cup Regulus’ cheek, that love shining in those hazel eyes that have haunted Regulus’ dreams since he made the biggest mistake of his life.
“I know, James, I know. And I’m so sorry that I did. I- I hope one day you can forgive me, but I understand if you don’t want anything to do with me.” whispers Regulus sadly as he leans into the warm hand, covering it with his own cool hand as a tear slips from his eyes.
“Regulus, I’m in love with you. I will always want you in whatever capacity I can get. So, if you want to try again, I would love to try again. But if we do this, then we have to talk about how to avoid this happening again.” says James fiercely as he cups Regulus’ face with both hands, his love shining in his eyes as he looks at Regulus. “Moony and Padfoot have their way, but I want us to figure out what works for us. We’re going to screw up, but the last two months have been absolute hell, Regs. I don’t want to go through it again, and I will fight with everything I have to avoid it.”
“Of course, I want to try again, Jam, I’ve missed you. Salazar, have I missed you. I’m in love with you too, Jam, and I will fight to avoid going through this again too. I want us to work, and I want us to figure out the way that works for us. Please be my boyfriend again, James Potter.” whispers Regulus with a fiercely hopeful tone as he lets his hands fall on James’ thighs, squeezing them lightly as he meets James’ love with his own.
James reaches forward and kisses him instead of answering him, slotting their lips together like no time has passed as their tears finally fall. Their kiss turns salty as they pull away, and they’re grinning madly as their foreheads press together, thumbs wiping away falling tears.
“I love you so much, Regulus Black.” whispers James genuinely, a wet chuckle escaping him.
“I love you always, James Potter.” whispers Regulus with a wet chuckle of his own as cheers erupt around them, reminding them of their audience.
They just stare at each other, foreheads pressed together as they hold each other while people cheer around them.
Finally, finally they’re home again.